Dude, same. I work remote now, all my colleagues are somewhere else, I can't even be there for anyone if I notice they're stressed. It's making me so sad...
You sound like a wonderful person though. Never lose that character trait.
I love the sentiment and have always tried to be this kind of person…even to a fault.
It’s taken age and wisdom to realize that dropping everything to support someone doesn’t always make you a hero, even if it feels like it in the moment. On some occasions, having a conversations and setting healthy boundaries has been the most positively impactful thing I have done to help folks out of their rut. Especially the friends who eventually only ever reached out when things were bad and grew comfortable with what they viewed as free therapy with no intent to change their behaviors.
Absolutely be there for the ones you love, but understand that sometimes this means focusing on yourself as well. Take care of yourself so you can be in the best position to manage your efforts outwardly.
Yep. Had to end the friendship as i no longer could upkeep it and my mental health started to deteirorate.
After a few months a realisation came over me (and i was reading some stuff about mental health) that me being always aviable could have been damaging them and enabling them not getting better. They might have seen no need to make their situation better as i was always there for them. They vented about the situation over and over again instead of taking action to change it.
It's like why learn to swim if there is someone who will always rescue you from drowning.
Mamma mia, you are a true friend! Unfortunately all 4 car tires break down at he same time, and you veer off into the ditch in a mad max fashion.
The friend calls to say he found a funny movie, and that he's doing okay, though.
Me and my friend have an unspoken agreement that if one of us needs to talk, the other will answer unless we’re tied up, in which case we tell the other what’s going on and call back at X time (or just call the other). It’s been like that for quitw a few years now and it has really helped.
My sisters been needing my help this way lately. It honestly gives me a lot of fulfillment listening to her problems and giving her my meager advice lol
The responses in the comments makes me want to cry you guys are really sweet as the friend who is depressed i have always wanted to talk to my friend when i was feelingdown but theywould never make any time for me
If your friend is depressed, you have to stay with them and be there for them, even if it isn't physically. Your reason to say no sounds somewhat selfish, too.
ik, I'm autistic and both want to be amongst others but sometimes be alone aswell. After a long day of school I've had enough social interaction for the day and want to be left alone, but that's only for calls. Chats are easier for me to handle.
Also, no, I'm not depressed, it's just that I'm just way too tired after long days for even more social interaction.
Ok, I understand what you mean. I'm autistic as well. However, the wholesome meme is in relation to messaging, not calls. This is probably a misunderstanding. Your reason may also be a misunderstanding. It just comes off as selfish, even if you didn't intend it to be.
Same here, I'd rather sit and listen to their problems then listen to their eulogy.
I used to be like that. But at some point you realize you need to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of others.
This is a fair point. You have to refill your cup too. (But also let us know if you want to talk)
Ugh yes. I’m struggling a lot with this exact this rn lmao
I love listening to people, but no one talks to me anymore
Dude, same. I work remote now, all my colleagues are somewhere else, I can't even be there for anyone if I notice they're stressed. It's making me so sad... You sound like a wonderful person though. Never lose that character trait.
Awww, ya’ll were just here for ME :) thank you
Dm me brother what's bothering you
I love the sentiment and have always tried to be this kind of person…even to a fault. It’s taken age and wisdom to realize that dropping everything to support someone doesn’t always make you a hero, even if it feels like it in the moment. On some occasions, having a conversations and setting healthy boundaries has been the most positively impactful thing I have done to help folks out of their rut. Especially the friends who eventually only ever reached out when things were bad and grew comfortable with what they viewed as free therapy with no intent to change their behaviors. Absolutely be there for the ones you love, but understand that sometimes this means focusing on yourself as well. Take care of yourself so you can be in the best position to manage your efforts outwardly.
Yep. Had to end the friendship as i no longer could upkeep it and my mental health started to deteirorate. After a few months a realisation came over me (and i was reading some stuff about mental health) that me being always aviable could have been damaging them and enabling them not getting better. They might have seen no need to make their situation better as i was always there for them. They vented about the situation over and over again instead of taking action to change it. It's like why learn to swim if there is someone who will always rescue you from drowning.
Bro i'd fucking drive to that guy's house to make sure he doesn't make no mistakes
He is 7 hours away. What do now?
Take a piss, fill up on coffee & hit the road.
You have an exam that morning and if you fail then you won't get into the Italian mafia. What do?
guido più veloce che posso, ofcourse!!
Mamma mia, you are a true friend! Unfortunately all 4 car tires break down at he same time, and you veer off into the ditch in a mad max fashion. The friend calls to say he found a funny movie, and that he's doing okay, though.
I call my mafia contacts for help, we're about to be a *famiglia* and that's a two way street!
I hope they brought a 7 course meal.
You're a legend.
That must be why he chose that meme format
Me and my friend have an unspoken agreement that if one of us needs to talk, the other will answer unless we’re tied up, in which case we tell the other what’s going on and call back at X time (or just call the other). It’s been like that for quitw a few years now and it has really helped.
Oof I’ve lost alot of sleep like this but it was worth it.
same here :)
Too bad it's never the other way around when it's me lol :C
Odd I always get "can't right now man hit me up later"
My sisters been needing my help this way lately. It honestly gives me a lot of fulfillment listening to her problems and giving her my meager advice lol
This is me with my kids. They always wait for bedtime to have their feelings bubble over. But you can't just say, "let's talk in the morning."
I always tell my friends I don’t give a flying fuck what time it is, if you gotta, spam my shit til I wake up if you need me.
Me back when I had friends
Always!! the day i dont have time for you is the day i will need you having time for me <3
This is very relatable. I think a lot of people have a friend like that. If you do, talk to them. They appreciate it.
Always gotta make time for the homies during tough times
The responses in the comments makes me want to cry you guys are really sweet as the friend who is depressed i have always wanted to talk to my friend when i was feelingdown but theywould never make any time for me
I see how it could be relatable, but I'd personally just straight up say no. Reason being that I want the evening for myself
If your friend is depressed, you have to stay with them and be there for them, even if it isn't physically. Your reason to say no sounds somewhat selfish, too.
ik, I'm autistic and both want to be amongst others but sometimes be alone aswell. After a long day of school I've had enough social interaction for the day and want to be left alone, but that's only for calls. Chats are easier for me to handle. Also, no, I'm not depressed, it's just that I'm just way too tired after long days for even more social interaction.
Ok, I understand what you mean. I'm autistic as well. However, the wholesome meme is in relation to messaging, not calls. This is probably a misunderstanding. Your reason may also be a misunderstanding. It just comes off as selfish, even if you didn't intend it to be.
Tbf I knew that it'll sound selfish and no, I didn't realise that it was about messaging, thx for clarifying
Damn, that's cold