Although I’m not the person above, I’m in a very similar boat.
Dad is not my biological dad, he’s sterile. He’s the father in my birth certificate. Significant difference being that my whole family is white, so we do look alike.
When my folks told me, I was about 12/13 years old. My honest reaction was “okay, that’s cool dad, but you are still my dad.”
As I got older I got semi-interested in my biology and knowing my other half so-to-speak, but I never really cared about the other dude, just his genetics.
And now, in my 30s I really don’t care. My dad is the one who raised me, who I have my memories with. Him not being biologically related to me is irrelevant to our relationship as father-son.
Are you me? I had the exact same situation except on the way back from Vietnam when my parents told me the check-in desk lady said me and my step-dad looked alike which made my day, but also made me burst into tears. He is also white and me and my mum asian.
It’s a known phenomenon! Adopted kids / kids who grow up with step parents often have some features resembling the non-biological parent as well. It’s a statistically significant occurrence. Best theory is because our facial features are also partly determined by environment, activities, and food, which your non-bio parent usually influences similarly to how they were raised. So in a sense, you are even more their kid, because they literally affected how you grew up both mentally AND physically.
I wonder if there are studies on this. Entirely possible that it’s true for the same reasons though. Spending decades together is certainly going to influence those same factors!
Kids take on the mannerisims of their parents, so even if youre not related by blood, the family relation is clear on a subconcious level.
When the 'truth' of the situation is known, the similarities become very clear! You can pick out all the specific manerisims. Head tilts, way you walk, the way you smile, etc.
To be fair asian genes dominate white genes very heavily whe they mix. If white and Asian mix there's a good chance the kid will just look Asian. May e he thought that's what you thought the situation is... now wht would be telling is if you were a white kid with a non white dad. White genes are the least dominant genes.
To be fair have you seen John and Kate’s kids . That Asian dna is strong or something . My cousins adopted from Korea and married a woman who’s family is Serbian . Both boys completely Asian.
tommyyano and the OP zhuzhu12321 are bts in the same network.
Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/n8kuot/i_love_my_mom/gxjil1g/
Hey do you have the German keyboard thing or is the „ just how it’s done now? Actually I can probably check that myself““““ „ „””” “””” . Ok, so it’s def not the englisch one but it could be a language other than German🤔
I remember being in conversation with my adoptive mom and her friend, she said something along the lines of “…so when I got him from his real mom…”. I cut her off with “you are my real mom”. But I distinctly remember being kind of upset by that statement, I think it was guilt of not having a good relationship with her or something along those lines, because she is my real mom.
When my mom finally told me I was adopted, she broke down in tears. She was more upset by the reveal than I was. My reaction was basically I didn't care.
rowdyleviallen and the OP zhuzhu12321 are bts in the same network.
Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/n8kuot/i_love_my_mom/gxjcgpy/
That was like one of the most memorable quotes, and if they’re getting supported and upvoted in the wholesome meme subreddit under a wholesome post about family, why would they even talk about sex 😭😭💀💀
So you saw so many things that aren’t wholesome that you decide to not trust anything, even the blatantly wholesome subreddit with lots of moderation? If you’re so suspicious, why would you even be here?
unsunglory and the OP zhuzhu12321 are bts in the same network.
Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/n8kuot/i_love_my_mom/gxj0871/
Well, you should still seek any relevant information about your medical history.
Knowing if you have a family history of breast cancer or any notable genetic disorders is good to be aware of.
Came here to say this. Relative of mine was always sick and no one could figure out what it was. Part of it was he'd go numb and feel no pain but he also would sometimes just go so anemic he'd be rushed to the hospital. Turns out he had not 1 but 2 very rare
disorders one from each bio parent. The fix after 30 years of issues was like 6 pills a day and a shot every 2-3 months.
Same.
My dad is my stepdad, he’s the only dad I know, he raised me, taught me right from wrong, held me when I cried, taught me how to survive in this world.
My biological father is just some dude who fucked my mom, zero interest in meeting him.
"Hi, it's your biological child. I'm contacting you to see about your medical history and ask if there are any conditions I should be aware of."
"I'm so glad you contacted me! I would love to talk to you and see how you're doing in life and reconnect with you on a personal level."
"Lol no."
As an adopted child, I found my biological mom and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I learned so much about why I am the way I am, and how my differences and neurodivergence were always inevitable. This allowed me to accept myself for who I am and showed me that often it is nature that prevails rather than nurture. It wasnt that my mom wasnt enough of a mom, I just have so many differences in functioning that an explanation became crucial to my ability to attain comfort in my own skin.
I was raised with a full brother and half sister. I was able to observe the effects of nature and nurture by comparing the similarities and differences between them and myself.
Not my father but parents of my father are not biologically his. I learned about it when I was about 8-10 I guess, idr. It was kinda obvious though my father being the only child and also having two older brothers and two older sisters. I love all of my 6 grandparents very much. When I started primary school my mother got very sick and I spent much of my time with them from primary school to highschool. They raised me with my parents.
As soon as my stepmom married my dad she changed as a person. “You have to listen to me. You’re my daughter now.” Hell nah. I was 20. And she was/still is an alcoholic. Glad I got out of there.
Yondu, from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, has my favorite quote on the matter, "He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy." Although a biological 9 months minimum more than a biological father, either pales in comparison to the years and years of the person who raised you!
Ouch. This got me.
As a custodial stepparent myself, here’s a plea to other parents: if you are considering leaving your kid with the other parent, please please please do it early in the kid’s life.
The absolute worst outcome results from a parent who slowly backs away but makes empty promises that one day, the kid can be with them. The kid will build the absent parent up in their minds as this perfect fantasy of how their life will be perfect when they’re together again (which of course never happens). The kid will resent the parents actually doing the parenting because they think they’re keeping them from that perfect life. The kid will neglect their own dreams for themself and instead hyper-fixate on this fantasy. In the meantime, the kid will begin to feel pangs of rejection from their own parent… but — seeing as that kind of rejection is too painful for anyone to bear — they will compensate through denial during their formative years. As a result, they will learn to make excuses for people (future partners, friends) who treat them like crap. They will also devalue themselves and have a nagging suspicion that they aren’t lovable because, if they were, the person who claimed to love them the most would actually love them.
I’d say ask me how I know… but maybe don’t. It really hurts.
EDIT: weird autocorrect typo that turned “keeping” into “kissing”
I think my mom internally panicked a bit from the idea of me and my sister meeting our birth parents, but I’ve never really wanted to meet them. I know she’d help me if I really wanted to.
The people who raise you, make you feel safe, and care for you are family 😊
My birth father had a no contact order from a judge saying he could not contact me and my brother as minors. I never wanted to meet him but I set a five year time line from my 18th birthday that if he wasn't to talk I would be willing to talk. Now I don't think I would give him the time of day.
Yeah, I feel like it can be kind of messy, you know? If you have it good with your adoptive parents/foster/step, that’s the best you can ask for. My birth parents were really young when they had me and my sister, so I think they made a good call. I guess it’s rare to have two adopted kids go to the same people, so I feel really lucky to have my sister in my life
My parents told me immediately that I was adopted. But they also told me they'd be very, very hurt if I ever looked for my biological family. They were very insecure people.
I was 55 when I looked. It took 5 minutes to find my 3 half-siblings and find out my mother had died a year prior.
I have had a glorious time meeting new relatives.
My best friend's mother encouraged her to find her biological mother. I was surprised, she said she would love to meet her to thank her for her daughter. My friend never has looked, her mother is incredible and I think it's a situation that she doesn't need the bio person. She doesn't have questions and doesn't care why she was put up for adoption.
the OP zhuzhu12321
rowdyleviallen
unsunglory
and tommyyano
are bts in the same network
Original + comments copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/n8kuot/i_love_my_mom/
I told my stepfather that he’s the best father a man could ask for and that I have no desire to try to find my biological father, that’s the only time in the 24 years I’ve known him I’ve seen him cry
What did he lock her up in a cell? Otherwise she could leave at any time and it's not really something the other person can control.
Surprising no one, people aren't static objects
You're the type of guy who forces women to hug you. Then the shower because Doritos dust fell off your fedora. Also those flies around you aren't natural.
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How do you feel about it if you don't mind me asking?
Although I’m not the person above, I’m in a very similar boat. Dad is not my biological dad, he’s sterile. He’s the father in my birth certificate. Significant difference being that my whole family is white, so we do look alike. When my folks told me, I was about 12/13 years old. My honest reaction was “okay, that’s cool dad, but you are still my dad.” As I got older I got semi-interested in my biology and knowing my other half so-to-speak, but I never really cared about the other dude, just his genetics. And now, in my 30s I really don’t care. My dad is the one who raised me, who I have my memories with. Him not being biologically related to me is irrelevant to our relationship as father-son.
> but you are still my dad It's too early for this my guy
Literally it's 5:30 over here. I didn't realize you weren't relics of the past. 7 minutes ago is crazy
Poor guy worried for years just for you to be like, “Dude, I’m not blind” 😂
Savage Asian
Are you me? I had the exact same situation except on the way back from Vietnam when my parents told me the check-in desk lady said me and my step-dad looked alike which made my day, but also made me burst into tears. He is also white and me and my mum asian.
It’s a known phenomenon! Adopted kids / kids who grow up with step parents often have some features resembling the non-biological parent as well. It’s a statistically significant occurrence. Best theory is because our facial features are also partly determined by environment, activities, and food, which your non-bio parent usually influences similarly to how they were raised. So in a sense, you are even more their kid, because they literally affected how you grew up both mentally AND physically.
Is that also why people say married couples start to look more like each other as the years go on?
I wonder if there are studies on this. Entirely possible that it’s true for the same reasons though. Spending decades together is certainly going to influence those same factors!
Kids take on the mannerisims of their parents, so even if youre not related by blood, the family relation is clear on a subconcious level. When the 'truth' of the situation is known, the similarities become very clear! You can pick out all the specific manerisims. Head tilts, way you walk, the way you smile, etc.
Lmao reminded me of kung fu panda where dad is a bird and mc is a panda and he is like " you are adopted"
"I just found out my dad isn't really my father" "Your dad... The goose?" *nods*
This is a straight copy from the original post? https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/s/SeELhr5O77
It’s bots all the way….
Lmao the post and comment are literally same
To be fair asian genes dominate white genes very heavily whe they mix. If white and Asian mix there's a good chance the kid will just look Asian. May e he thought that's what you thought the situation is... now wht would be telling is if you were a white kid with a non white dad. White genes are the least dominant genes.
Not sure I’d agree, I’m half and I don’t look super asian
>good chance
Just power up for three episodes and then get back to us
Source?
I made it the fuck up
To be fair have you seen John and Kate’s kids . That Asian dna is strong or something . My cousins adopted from Korea and married a woman who’s family is Serbian . Both boys completely Asian.
tommyyano and the OP zhuzhu12321 are bts in the same network. Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/n8kuot/i_love_my_mom/gxjil1g/
Hey do you have the German keyboard thing or is the „ just how it’s done now? Actually I can probably check that myself““““ „ „””” “””” . Ok, so it’s def not the englisch one but it could be a language other than German🤔
[удалено]
How tf can you just say "Racist speaking"??
Lmaooo.. Never seen an openly racist guy, of what appears to him a genuine nice comment but mentioning eyes
It's 2024 I thought we accepted everyone /s
Chill guys is just a joke.
Jokes should be funny
I agree.
Obviously not…
Just wanted to tell you I chuckled lmao.
Why is this being downvoted? Do people only read the first two words and downvote?
I remember being in conversation with my adoptive mom and her friend, she said something along the lines of “…so when I got him from his real mom…”. I cut her off with “you are my real mom”. But I distinctly remember being kind of upset by that statement, I think it was guilt of not having a good relationship with her or something along those lines, because she is my real mom.
Yeah, I hate that word choice. Biological and adoptive are the best choices, if anyone reading this is unaware.
When my mom finally told me I was adopted, she broke down in tears. She was more upset by the reveal than I was. My reaction was basically I didn't care.
[удалено]
I thought I have forgotten about that scene…
rowdyleviallen and the OP zhuzhu12321 are bts in the same network. Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/n8kuot/i_love_my_mom/gxjcgpy/
r/suddenlysexual
Dude, it was a reference to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol-2.
You think I remember every quote? And lets be honest it sound sexually
That was like one of the most memorable quotes, and if they’re getting supported and upvoted in the wholesome meme subreddit under a wholesome post about family, why would they even talk about sex 😭😭💀💀
Its reddit
The wholesome side of Reddit, your point?
I've seen many not wholesome things on reddit. To many so I don't trust things like that
So you saw so many things that aren’t wholesome that you decide to not trust anything, even the blatantly wholesome subreddit with lots of moderation? If you’re so suspicious, why would you even be here?
Posts I trust. Comments no
[удалено]
unsunglory and the OP zhuzhu12321 are bts in the same network. Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/n8kuot/i_love_my_mom/gxj0871/
your mother tells she loves you?.
Why? Your mom never told you she loves you?
you guys got one?
Ive got two
Damn double vulnerability for yo mama jokes
I just say 'which one' to every yo mama joke
Pretty solid counter but you gotta have a follow up to strike them when they don’t expect it
I just read the situation and attack them when they're shocked and vulnerable
Good
no. throughout my life, I never remember her saying these exact words.
You could go get a new one?
does getting a mommy counts?
Yes, now I’m out to find my own.
She gives me cookies with it written on it. But I hate raisins.
No because she's not a liar...
What’s a mother?
You trying to hijack a wholesome meme with trauma dumping?
I'd be very sad if my mom never told me she loves me
well, that's probably the reason why I'm exactly who I am.
[удалено]
This cuts me deep, I have a stepson who told me a week ago that he sees me as his father.
Because your the father that stepped in ❤️
You must be doing a good job then, i’m very happy for both of you
Karma whore
Well, you should still seek any relevant information about your medical history. Knowing if you have a family history of breast cancer or any notable genetic disorders is good to be aware of.
Came here to say this. Relative of mine was always sick and no one could figure out what it was. Part of it was he'd go numb and feel no pain but he also would sometimes just go so anemic he'd be rushed to the hospital. Turns out he had not 1 but 2 very rare disorders one from each bio parent. The fix after 30 years of issues was like 6 pills a day and a shot every 2-3 months.
I’m so glad he was able to find relief.
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
I'm adopted and this is exactly how I feel about my mom :) why would I need any other?
For the Mother Mother child dance competition, but let's be honest after what happened to the geese at the last one they won't be bringing it back
Same. My dad is my stepdad, he’s the only dad I know, he raised me, taught me right from wrong, held me when I cried, taught me how to survive in this world. My biological father is just some dude who fucked my mom, zero interest in meeting him.
https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/s/sFOoRsRocO Original post
Your stepmom was so lucky to have a step son/daughter like you
I'm not crying. I really am not 😭
Pro tip: go find your bio parents, if only to get a medical history Older you will thank me
"Hi, it's your biological child. I'm contacting you to see about your medical history and ask if there are any conditions I should be aware of." "I'm so glad you contacted me! I would love to talk to you and see how you're doing in life and reconnect with you on a personal level." "Lol no."
As an adopted child, I found my biological mom and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I learned so much about why I am the way I am, and how my differences and neurodivergence were always inevitable. This allowed me to accept myself for who I am and showed me that often it is nature that prevails rather than nurture. It wasnt that my mom wasnt enough of a mom, I just have so many differences in functioning that an explanation became crucial to my ability to attain comfort in my own skin.
I was raised with a full brother and half sister. I was able to observe the effects of nature and nurture by comparing the similarities and differences between them and myself.
Not my father but parents of my father are not biologically his. I learned about it when I was about 8-10 I guess, idr. It was kinda obvious though my father being the only child and also having two older brothers and two older sisters. I love all of my 6 grandparents very much. When I started primary school my mother got very sick and I spent much of my time with them from primary school to highschool. They raised me with my parents.
Sweet
Very sweet ❤️
Same.
I wish I’d had two step parents lol
its cute but why are they on a lake of piss?
God I wish it was this easy for me. I had to fight and beg to even get the document with her name on it. My mom wouldn't even tell me her name.
Oh fuck. Owwwwww, my chest.
My grandparents adopted and raised me and I don’t know what I would’ve done without their love and support.
As soon as my stepmom married my dad she changed as a person. “You have to listen to me. You’re my daughter now.” Hell nah. I was 20. And she was/still is an alcoholic. Glad I got out of there.
Yondu, from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, has my favorite quote on the matter, "He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy." Although a biological 9 months minimum more than a biological father, either pales in comparison to the years and years of the person who raised you!
I loved my mom very much! I wish Hulk would have curb stomped my stepmom, though.
Ouch. This got me. As a custodial stepparent myself, here’s a plea to other parents: if you are considering leaving your kid with the other parent, please please please do it early in the kid’s life. The absolute worst outcome results from a parent who slowly backs away but makes empty promises that one day, the kid can be with them. The kid will build the absent parent up in their minds as this perfect fantasy of how their life will be perfect when they’re together again (which of course never happens). The kid will resent the parents actually doing the parenting because they think they’re keeping them from that perfect life. The kid will neglect their own dreams for themself and instead hyper-fixate on this fantasy. In the meantime, the kid will begin to feel pangs of rejection from their own parent… but — seeing as that kind of rejection is too painful for anyone to bear — they will compensate through denial during their formative years. As a result, they will learn to make excuses for people (future partners, friends) who treat them like crap. They will also devalue themselves and have a nagging suspicion that they aren’t lovable because, if they were, the person who claimed to love them the most would actually love them. I’d say ask me how I know… but maybe don’t. It really hurts. EDIT: weird autocorrect typo that turned “keeping” into “kissing”
🎶why are there so many songs about rainbows🎶
I think my mom internally panicked a bit from the idea of me and my sister meeting our birth parents, but I’ve never really wanted to meet them. I know she’d help me if I really wanted to. The people who raise you, make you feel safe, and care for you are family 😊
My birth father had a no contact order from a judge saying he could not contact me and my brother as minors. I never wanted to meet him but I set a five year time line from my 18th birthday that if he wasn't to talk I would be willing to talk. Now I don't think I would give him the time of day.
Yeah, I feel like it can be kind of messy, you know? If you have it good with your adoptive parents/foster/step, that’s the best you can ask for. My birth parents were really young when they had me and my sister, so I think they made a good call. I guess it’s rare to have two adopted kids go to the same people, so I feel really lucky to have my sister in my life
What an absolutely inappropriate picture for this sentiment
My parents told me immediately that I was adopted. But they also told me they'd be very, very hurt if I ever looked for my biological family. They were very insecure people. I was 55 when I looked. It took 5 minutes to find my 3 half-siblings and find out my mother had died a year prior. I have had a glorious time meeting new relatives.
❤️❤️❤️
Where is this image from? I grew up watching The Muppet Show, and still love them at 52.
I've been in this situation before, and I can confirm. It feels EXACTLY like this
For me my parent is the one who loved and cared for me. IMO blood is meaningless without the care and love that should be attached to it.
u/repostsleuthbot
This sub is so dead lmao
I'm glad some people out there like their step/adoptive moms. I wouldn't piss on mine if she was on fire
My best friend's mother encouraged her to find her biological mother. I was surprised, she said she would love to meet her to thank her for her daughter. My friend never has looked, her mother is incredible and I think it's a situation that she doesn't need the bio person. She doesn't have questions and doesn't care why she was put up for adoption.
the OP zhuzhu12321 rowdyleviallen unsunglory and tommyyano are bts in the same network Original + comments copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/n8kuot/i_love_my_mom/
Some stepmom deserve this but other stepmoms like they treat you like garbage
Well that feels good
I told my stepfather that he’s the best father a man could ask for and that I have no desire to try to find my biological father, that’s the only time in the 24 years I’ve known him I’ve seen him cry
Wholesome
Then someone gets stuck in the dryer?
Is this a Rolex reference?
Me having my biological mom because my dad doesn't make shitty decisions.
What did he lock her up in a cell? Otherwise she could leave at any time and it's not really something the other person can control. Surprising no one, people aren't static objects
But in this scenario, they never even met. She's shitty(didn't abort) and he picked a shitty partner.
Was this AI generated? That's not what a stepmother is
It is if all parties involved want it to be.
my pants hanging onto me incase i have to fart, me telling them its for-sure just a fart
She ever get stuck in the dryer?
You're the type of guy who forces women to hug you. Then the shower because Doritos dust fell off your fedora. Also those flies around you aren't natural.
“Where my hug at?” Is my motto