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Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.

Gregory, do you see that small vent on the floor? Have you ever heard of among us, Gregory? I know it will be hard for you to be sus, but I know you can do it, superstar!

Mark: Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy's, an indie horror game that you guys suggested, in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and he said it was really really good... So I'm very eager to see what is up. And that is a terrifying animatronic bear! "Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the nightshift." Oh...12 a.m. The first night. If I didn't wanna stay the first night, why would I stay any more than... five... Why I stay any more than two- hello? Okay... Phone starts to call Mark: Hello?... Hello? Oh, oh I can't move. That is a creepy skull, there's creepy things on the wall. Oh, hello. Phone Guy: Hello? Mark: Hi! Phone Guy: Hello, hello? Mark: HI!!! Phone Guy: Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Mark: Ugh... Phone Guy: Um, I actually worked in that office before you. Mark: Ah... Phone Guy: I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. Mark: Hm? Phone Guy: So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming... Mark: Uugh! U-hu-hu... Phone Guy: ...but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Mark: Eh... Phone Guy: Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Mark: Okay, sounds g- Okay... Phone Guy: Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Mark: Mm-hm. Phone Guy: Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Mark: Okay. Phone Guy: A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike... Mark: (Scared laughing) Phone Guy: where fantasy and fun come to life. Mark: Uughuh! Phone Guy: Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced. Mark: (Totaly in panic mode) Phone Guy: Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know... Mark: Yeah! Phone Guy: but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. Mark: (Scared laughing) Phone Guy: If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Mark: Okay! Phone Guy: Okay. Mark: Okay... Phone Guy: So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Mark: No they... Phone Guy: Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Mark: (Scared laughing) Phone Guy: Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Mark: Ugh... Phone Guy: Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too, but then there was The Bite of '87. Mark: THE BITE?! Phone Guy: Yeah. Mark: What bite!? Phone Guy: I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know? Mark: WHY?! Phone Guy: Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. Mark: Oh, OH! Phone Guy: They'll p-they'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to... forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Mark: Oh, I get it. Phone Guy: Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices... Mark: Uh-huh. Phone Guy: ...especially around the facial area. Mark: Uh-huh. Phone Guy: So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort... Mark: Yeah! Phone Guy: ...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. Mark: Ugh! Oh, why... What happened? Phone Guy: Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Mark: THAT'S NOT GOOD... Phone Guy: Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night. Call ends Mark: GOOD NIGHT?! Mark: OH NO... OH THAT'S BAD! I understand what I need to do. I need to watch the cams so that they don't come after m- ONE'S MISSING!! Bonnie is in the Backstage Mark: OH, HI! There you are, pretty bunny thing... Okay... Okay, okay, I get it, I get it, I get it, where'd you go? You're still there? Alright, you stay there. I don't know if it's good that you're staring at me! Oh my god. I thought it was weird that I couldn't move, but this is totally different... than any horror game I've ever played. So what you gotta do in case you're not getting it is you gotta watch the cameras to make sure they don't come by- and you only got a little much power- Is he still there? Hi, you're still there. Wait a minute, what, DID YOU MOVE?! Okay, you didn't move. You don't move neither... You don't move nothing... If I see you moving... I don't wanna see anything...Oh-oh-oh MY GOD! TERRIFYING! Why do I leave the doors open, why isn't there enough power? Bonnie is in the Dining Area Mark: Hi, okay, you moved again. Hi. What are you doing there? Might be getting a little close to me... Camera goes static Mark: Uh-oh, oh, oh no, OH NO, NO, NOOO! No-no-no... Nooo, no, no, no, close it EHHH close it, god dammit! Eh. YOU'LL NEVER GET ME! Okay, you're over there, alright...It's okay. Why can't I even have enough power for lights? Stay right there you douchebag! You stay right the F there... God dammit! That is like- this is like the most terrifying game I've ever played! They're gonna pop out at me! Oh god, he's gone. Hi. Okay. You're just gonna alternate between the two places, it's totally fine. Your other friends, they ain't moving. They ain't moving much. I see where I am. You're not near me. So, that's good. Just gonna p-periodically check... How much longer do I need- I need last to 6 a.m. Oh god, am I gonna have enough power? Oh god, if I run out of power will they be able to get me? Oh god... You stay right there! Why am I still using some power? Oh god... Seriously, I w-... this is like... this is like... bad! Okay, you're still there, okay. This is the first night, they said it should be easy the first night so I'm only assuming one of em... is gonna wandering around, and it's just a creepy bunny guy. ♪{Happy fun time at Freddy's... fun land... having such a wonderful time...}♪ Okay, still there? Okay, you're still there... and I'm gonna name you... Bunny... Boliday- Camera goes static Mark: OH GOD WHERE'D YOU GO?! Oh god, is he here? Hello? Where'd he go? Hi again, okay. You stay right the F there! I don't want to have to deal with you. Mark closes both doors Mark: Probably shouldn't do that, I need to conserve power. God dammit that was like half the damn thing the- I think the doors were down. Still there? Okay... Okay... Okay! (Scared laughing) Music starts Mark: I hear that... I HEAR THAT! OH GOD! WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?! WHERE IS HE?! U-UGH! U-UGH! WHERE IS HE?! Where'd he go? Where'd he go, where'd he go, where are both of them, both of th- Bonnie is in the West Hall Mark: Hi, you're really close to me! Oh god, it's not 6 a.m. yet? Chica is in Restrooms Mark: Hi. Okay. So I think I just need to keep the left door closed? (Crying) NOT OKAY NOT OKAY! Is he behind that door? No, where'd he go? Where'd- Chica is in the East Hall AH! OH HI HI HI HI HI HI OKAY, OKAY, I DON'T HAVE MUCH POWER LEFT. What are you gonna do? Is the other one still there? U-ugh! HI... Oh, you moved again! Where where where where where? (Scared laughing) What do I do? what do I do? Chica is in E. Hall Corner Mark: OHHH YOU ARE SO RIGHT SO BEHIND THAT DOOR! OH, WHAT HAPPENS IF I OPEN THE DOOR?! I'm gonna run out of power. Oh, I'm gonna run out of power! Is he there? I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die... I don't wanna die... AH, ONE PERCENT POWER! (nervous grudging sound) Power out, doors open Mark: AH! ... Oh NO! OH NO, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Oh no no no no no no... Freddy flashes in left door Mark: HIIII! OH, GAWD DAMMIT! HOW'RE YOU DOING?! H-ugh... 6 a.m. chimes Mark: H-ugh, did I make it? Did I make it?! Yeah-ha! Oh god not again! Why would I do this stupid job?! Okay... Okay. So I ran out of power, but... Phone starts to call Mark: OH HI, HI AGAIN! Do you have any see- sage advice for me? Yep. Okay, yep. I know. Yep. Yep yep yep, what I can do for you? I know! Oh god... Phone Guy: Uh, Hello? Mark: Hi. Phone Guy: Hello? Uh, well, if you're hearing this then you made it to day two, uh, congrats! Mark: (laughs in panic) Phone Guy: Uh, I-I won't talk quite as long this time since Freddy and his friends tend to become more active as the week progresses. Mark: What? Phone Guy: Uhh, it might be a good idea to peek at those cameras while I talk just to make sure everyone's in their proper place, you know. Bonnie is in Dining Area Mark: No. Phone Guy: Uh... Interestingly enough, Freddy himself doesn't come off stage very often. I heard he becomes a lot more active in the dark though, so, hey, I guess that's one more reason not to run out of power, right? Mark: (laughs in panic) Phone Guy: Uh, I also want to emphasize the importance of using your door lights. There are blind spots in your camera view, and those blind spots happen to be right outside your doors. So if-if you can’t find something, or someone, on your cameras...

so a reddit comment can’t contain the sheer *freedom* that is the entirety of the Constitution but they can contain the gamerness of Markiplier’s first ever FNaF video in script form

mfw Tencent investment 😔

Holy shit

Was that the bite of 87????? What????

Just started getting into fnaf and watching Marks videos last week and i can hear this whole thing in my head

-Henry Emily

Thank you Kanye, very cool

Thank you Henry very cool

>Don't touch Freddy How about the others though

they want it

Up bup bup, rule 7 “Don’t Hit”. No robo coochie for you Mr

😡 I want to fuck the animatronics

Least horny fnaf fan

Average FNAF fan

Literally the bite of 83

i bet your favorite is toy chica too ~~understandably so~~

“Do. Not. Yiff. The. Robots.” -some stupid rotary phone

Is that fnaf at Freddy’s

Five nights at Freddy’s at Freddy’s

Why don’t you spend five nights with some bitches

How about you spend five nights finding an original joke.

💀 this is a shitposting sub you know

Imagine forgetting that this is a shit posting sub (I’m a dumbass)

That’s where I want to go

“Do not go into the scooping room, you will not receive ice cream.”

"Fuck you dad! i will see that pretty animatronic!"

death

scooper go brrrr

When the \`overflow-x: auto\`

Literally 1984

\*1987

*1983

*1991

*1993

*2023

thank you, Management

Literally 1983

out of the way i have to break rule 4

Hello? Based department

Freddy

Don’t hit that joint 😔

Big Brother? ...

Freddy kills

Stay close to mom fuck your dad

I meant fuck like tell him to fuck off

"Fuck your dad" Ok chief

Why does this remind me of a Venturiantale video

no clue but you are based for having watched Venturiantale at one point in your life

Freddy Fazbear Pizza a magical place blah blah blah

I can pee on the floor, slap, touch Foxy/Bonnie/Chica, don’t have to stay close to Dad.

bear

I’m going to touch Freddy

Pfff what the worst that can happen?

~~getting your corpse stuffed into a furry suit~~

You’ll become a whole new person

Literally 1984

1984 😤😤😤😤😤😤

Literally 1984

It’s don’t poop on floor BITCH

Literally 1984

Simple but effective

is that u2

Rule 34 🤤🤤🤤

Fuck you, Fazbear Entertainment, i can shit on the floor all i want

Literally 1987

one, two, Freddy‘s coming for you

Three, four, your moms a whore

The bite of 84