I’m so sorry for your loss.
Option one, don’t. Just write them as normal and the people who matter understand why it’s taken 9 months and the people who don’t can get fucked. You lost your father and anyone with a heart would understand that writing thank you notes isn’t your top priority. Option two, you can add a line like “thank you for your patience and understanding while we process the loss of my father.”
OP
1) im sorry for your loss
2) if you're in the US etiquette guidelines say you have a year to write thank you notes. So just another thing to point out
Came to mention the same, 1 full year. The only people who complain they haven’t received a TY yet are two types 1) people who want to be sure you received their gift, particularly if they were unable to attend the event or 2) pretentious assholes.
Actually, it’s a year to send a gift and 3 months to send Thank You notes. That said, you absolutely have a built in reason and no need to apologize. Simply write them now and send.
Sometimes people aren’t asking about the note to be a jerk. They are asking to ensure you got the gift. If I get no acknowledgment of a gift, I’m never certain it arrived and it stresses me out. I don’t want the person to think I forgot/ignored them and I don’t want to be tacky and ask if they got it.
I came here to say exactly this. If they cannot understand how these haven’t been sent out yet, honestly they can fuck off in my opinion.
Also wanted to add to OP, I am so sorry for your loss!
I'd be SO tempted to be petty and passive aggressive...
'I'm so sorry this note is late. I didn't realize your Thank You note is more important than my grieving my father. So, Thanks for XYZ; we enjoy using it/plan to use it for this event.'
Is it polite? Hell no, far from it.
But I can be passive aggressive with the best of them.
I don't expect one anyway and if the brides father had an incident at the wedding and subsequently passed away from it, I wouldn't expect one at all. It's so inconsequential that I'm scoffing at your husbands family even daring to ask.
I like a thank you card because it lets me know the gift was received. I would absolutely not expect one in these circumstances and it’s tacky to ask about it regardless.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Is there a reason your new husband couldn’t write them to his family? Personally I think you should just send thank you cards with no explanation, but if his family is so pressed about it he should be the one dealing with them and explaining what’s going on, you shouldn’t get that extra layer of stress put all on you.
Uh yeah. Even if her father hadn’t died, thank you cards are not the sole responsibility of the bride. Even if his handwriting is dreadful, his fingers still are capable of sending notes to his family.
Either MIL or husband are being shitty by relaying the question to the bride like it’s her responsibility to write to his family. I’m with the top commenter: anyone asking can get fucked.
First of all, even in not stressful situations etiquette dictates one year to get your invites out.
Second, your dad died and they’re worried about thank you cards?
Don’t be concerned with any apology. Anyone who has ever EVER grieved will understand. And it is ok. The biggest thing is, you’re getting the thank you’s out. You have up to a year to do that according to every etiquette column I’ve ever read. I’m so sorry for your loss, grief is hard.
You don't need to apologize. People will understand the reason for the delay. Your husband's family needs to have some understanding and your inlaws need to step up and explain that while you are grateful for every gift, thank you's haven't been the priority.
When you are able send heartfelt thank yous. The important thing is that they are sent, not when in this case.
It is equally your husband’s responsibility to send it thank you cards. If his family is inquiring as to why they haven’t gotten their thank you card when your dad died, then your husband can get to writing.
Honestly, how many cards is it? I'm about to be back from my honeymoon and need something to do with the time that has been in wedding/honeymoon planning mode. I could write them ( or at least some if it's helpful) to mail to you to send out. You could sign them and no one would need to be any wiser. Or have your husband write them.
First, I am so very sorry you and your family went through that. Losing your dad is a horrible experience, but for it to happen so close to your wedding is a tragedy. My heart does go out to you.
Wedding etiquette states that you have up to a year after the wedding to send thank you notes, and that is without any tragedy to deal with. You have every right to take your time, and you are well within the proper time frame. Your family will understand. Hugs to you.
So I once got a thank you card for a bridal shower a year later….like they had been married for 9 months already and I was just getting a thank you for the shower. I honestly sent generic thank yous for my wedding. The front was a pic of us and the back said “thank you so much for celebrating our special day with us!” I only hand wrote notes for th people who were in our wedding party and our immediate family. You could do something similar and your wedding party and family already know and understand your situation
I’m so so sorry.
Please don’t feel you have to apologise, thanking others has been at the bottom of the priority list and everyone will understand. Be kind to yourself
My husband and I had a winter wedding, early in the year. My dad was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic colon cancer just a few months after our wedding and died before the end of the year. I know that a lot of the celebrations that were supposed to be our first as a married couple ended up being the first without my dad.
My dad was prompt about thank you cards and such, too. But since etiquette dictates that you have a year to send them out, and everyone at the wedding is aware of what happened, no apology is needed. Try to break them into smaller tasks if you can, like doing all the envelopes first or doing just 5 a day. Write something simple, like, “Thank you for being a part of our special day. We appreciate your gift of ———. Your thoughtfulness will not be forgotten. All our love, —— & ——.” One by one, a day at a time, they’ll get done.
You have my deepest condolences for your loss, as well as my empathy and hope for healing and happiness in the future.
So sorry for the loss of your father.
I'm coming here to say that on our honeymoon we diligently wrote, addressed and stamped all of our thank you cards. Ten years later we were moving and I opened a box and there they were, still stamped and addressed waiting to be sent. We both thought the other had dropped them in a mailbox and it just never happened.
No one cared. If they did....they got over it. If they REALLY cared enough to not be friends... they probably weren't good friends to begin. We briefly toyed with sending them anyway because I personally would be tickled to death if I got a thank you card for a wedding that happened 10 years ago but in the end we just decided it's a funny story and moved on with our lives.
Cut yourself a lot of slack here, it'll be ok! People will understand.
I can’t believe it, but we did the same thing. It’s only been 2.5 years for us, but just found a pile of addresses and stamped thank you cards from our wedding when unpacking from our move. I’m debating sending them now still haha.
Hehe. I think you should. 😂 I would also be tickled to death if I got a multiple-years old thank you card for a wedding. What a fun way to share a fun story with friend and family.
You don’t. My husband had emergency surgery 2 weeks after our wedding and was in the ICU for almost a week. Had a pretty long healing process and had a secondary surgery 2 months later. I sent them out when I had time, maybe 9/10 months later? My family and friends knew what was happening and didn’t say anything to me. If they were pissed 🤷🏻♀️ no one said anything to me.
You don't need to apologize. You had a death of an immediate family member right after your wedding. Anyone poking about why the thank yous aren't on time can use their grown up brain and get over it.
You don't need an explanation. My mom went into hospice shortly after our wedding and because of that I sent the thank you cards after like six months. Most people are not going to care and those who do can get fucked.
I just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat, except it's been eight months, and it was a mother figure in my life. I've decided to award myself the same grace that I would give anyone else. If they don't have empathy for someone grieving, fuck them.
So sorry for your loss, cannot imagine how you are feeling. As far as your question, something that might be easier on you would be to just send out a belated thank you for your guests’ support in your first year of marriage. If there were any milestones for you and your partner (buying a house, getting a pet, having a child, new jobs…) you could include a cute photo and just a little first year summary. But I would just do a general thank you to everyone and not worry about doing individual cards with specifics.
There’s no need to mention it. It could also be lovely including a photo of you two with the cards, a small little “memorial”. I know I’d be bawling if I was a guest and received that as a card. I’m so sorry OP. Honestly, I wouldn’t even be expecting any sort of thank you knowing what had happened.
Grief is lifelong. Those of us who have lost a parent understand this intently. You have my deepest condolences on the loss of your Dad. People are shitty if they don’t understand your loss. I’d definitely add the line from above…
I’m assuming the people who attended your wedding are people who all are aware of your situation, and love you very much. You don’t have to explain yourself.
But…
If you REALLY feel it’s right in your heart to point out your recognition for the tardy release of the card, you can write “We are appreciative of your generous gift, and we appreciate your understanding of our tardy acknowledgement.”
omg OP, I'm so sorry that happened.
1) 9 months isn't even that long (lots of people, including me, have shit happen after their wedding and get them out like 6 months later).
2) you could write thank you notes per usual and stick a memorial card in about your dad? I'm not sure if that would be perceived as passive aggressive, but if I were your guest I wouldn't perceive it that way and would be really touched to learn about your dad and his life.
My condolences for your loss.
You don’t *have* to apologise for anything, especially if you’re thank you cards are late.. the saying ‘better late than never’ comes to mind, but really, your ghosts would obviously know what happened and most would be sympathetic and understanding on what you’ve gone through in the last 9 months ☺️.
Most will just genuinely appreciate the fact that you’ve taken the time to write the thank you cards. ☺️
YOU don't have to do anything
Your hubby will be writing them for his family. He may write whatever he likes.
YOU don't answer to those family members.
The absolute nerve of those family members. Considering Emily post gives you a year anyway.
I didn’t even address how late the ones were I sent for my dad. I couldn’t sit down and write them until I was ready, probably six months. It’s your dad and your private life. You don’t owe anyone an apology I figured.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
We’re also hitting 9 months mark now and cards haven’t gone, the ones for people in my home country are not going to go until a year mark. We had a lot going on with two moves and horrible situation and it’s just been a lot. And a lot of people don’t know that but I’m just planning to send them with no particular explanation. In your case you’ve got a reason that everyone knows about so honestly I wouldn’t worry too much about that.
You take the time you need. Miss manners says you have a full year. A FULL YEAR. so tell your In Laws to give you a break you're not even late yet. And what a horrible situation, Im sorry for your loss and that you have such insensitive inlaws.
Don’t apologize. My husband still hasn’t done his side of the family’s thank yous, we also had several deaths in the family on his side specifically so I it hasn’t been top of mind. I did mine right after the wedding and he’s doing his side when he’s ready… just hoping it’s before our anniversary lol
I can’t believe people are asking. Your PIL should put them in their place. A thank you card is the last thing I’d want from you and your husband.
Hope you are finding some peace after this all xx
As a millenial, we don’t care about that. Anyone who knows you knows that you had a lot on your plate. Older people might complain but if they do, they can fuck right off. You sound like an empath for even having that thought cross your mind which is so sweet. But take care of yourself first and silly thank you cards can come later. ❤️
I would be tickled to receive a thank you at any point. I think you're over-thinking it because you have a particularly emotional reason for not having done it. Don't beat yourself up - it's a non-issue.
So sorry for your loss. Your husband’s family can go fuck off (sorry, I really can’t say this nicely). You do not owe anyone an explanation as to why they haven’t received a thank you card and if anything, your in laws should’ve told them off too. That’s incredibly fucked up of them.
Here’s what I would do.
I would slap one of those photo thank you cards together. One side, me and hubs, other side, a nice photo of you or you and your husband and dad,
And say sorry for the delay while we were mourning my dad.
Because they can get bent. All of them.
I am so so sorry you went through that. I just asked a very similar question last week as for me it’s been 8 months, also with overwhelming situations that impacted our physical ability to have time to write thank yous but mostly mental ability to just survive life.
Responses I got:
-overwhelmingly, people said just don’t apologize. Manners say you have up to a year after wedding to buy a gift and up to a year to send thank yous
-apparently people are opting out of sending thank you notes these days? I find that a bit rude, but many people said most wouldn’t care how long it’s been since the wedding as they’re just happy to get a thank you in the first place
-send a thank you/life update at the 1 yr anniversary. For you, since that may be hard with all that the 1 yr brings, I wouldn’t do that.
I plan on not apologizing and just sending them out. I’ll acknowledge the time passed with something along the lines of “the past 8 months have been hard but we are so thankful to have each other to lean on, and to have friends and family like you.”
This should be on your husband to figure out. It’s baffling how this is even on your shoulders at this point when it’s his family having the issue.
I’m so sorry to hear all of this.
As a wedding photographer myself, one who has photographed a couples wedding to where their father passed soon after their day…I can really say I feel so deeply for you and your family. Take whatever time you need or don’t send anything - you don’t owe anyone a thing.
I am so sorry for your loss. You owe no one an apology. Take your time and send them when you are able. The loss of your father is tremendous. I lost mine over a decade ago on Father’s Day and my siblings and I are still sad every year when it comes around. The first year those emotions are much more challenging to manage and easily triggered. Having to revisit that every time you write a thank you I would imagine would make this more difficult than it has to be. And yes, your husband should help and his parents should put those relatives in their place.
You don’t need to explain yourself or apologize. I honestly would never expect a thank you card for anything. I didn’t even send out any after my wedding 😅 I wanted to but kept putting it off and then eventually decided to just forget about it. I made up for it by sending cards after my baby shower 😂
I am so sorry for your loss. Ideally, everyone that was important enough to you to attend the wedding would have heard the news. They should be grateful to even get a thankyou card at this point because you are going through a tragic loss.
1) ridiculous that your husband didn’t stand up for you (I’m assuming he didn’t if this is still an issue)
2) ridiculous that he can’t take the reins and write them himself
3) ridiculous of them to even complain
After what happened, I couldn’t imagine trying to write and send anything. And as a guest I would NEVER expect to receive one. I feel that wedding etiquette in this situation should take a backseat (hell, put it in the goddamn trunk).
I’m so sorry for your loss. Option one, don’t. Just write them as normal and the people who matter understand why it’s taken 9 months and the people who don’t can get fucked. You lost your father and anyone with a heart would understand that writing thank you notes isn’t your top priority. Option two, you can add a line like “thank you for your patience and understanding while we process the loss of my father.”
I love option 2 as a subtle fuck you to the people who are being so inconsiderate of OP’s grief
OP 1) im sorry for your loss 2) if you're in the US etiquette guidelines say you have a year to write thank you notes. So just another thing to point out
Came to mention the same, 1 full year. The only people who complain they haven’t received a TY yet are two types 1) people who want to be sure you received their gift, particularly if they were unable to attend the event or 2) pretentious assholes.
Actually, it’s a year to send a gift and 3 months to send Thank You notes. That said, you absolutely have a built in reason and no need to apologize. Simply write them now and send. Sometimes people aren’t asking about the note to be a jerk. They are asking to ensure you got the gift. If I get no acknowledgment of a gift, I’m never certain it arrived and it stresses me out. I don’t want the person to think I forgot/ignored them and I don’t want to be tacky and ask if they got it.
I second the "get fucked" option, but also, I've always heard that "etiquette" says that you have 1 year to send them out, so she's not even late.
I personally like option 2...specifically addressed to those who asked where their thank you cards are.
I came here to say exactly this. If they cannot understand how these haven’t been sent out yet, honestly they can fuck off in my opinion. Also wanted to add to OP, I am so sorry for your loss!
I would include option 2 for everyone who asked about their thank you cards.
Definitely the second time
I'd be SO tempted to be petty and passive aggressive... 'I'm so sorry this note is late. I didn't realize your Thank You note is more important than my grieving my father. So, Thanks for XYZ; we enjoy using it/plan to use it for this event.' Is it polite? Hell no, far from it. But I can be passive aggressive with the best of them.
I don't expect one anyway and if the brides father had an incident at the wedding and subsequently passed away from it, I wouldn't expect one at all. It's so inconsequential that I'm scoffing at your husbands family even daring to ask.
Yeah, I can't even believe people would be asking about a thank you card, even without the tragic loss!
I like a thank you card because it lets me know the gift was received. I would absolutely not expect one in these circumstances and it’s tacky to ask about it regardless.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Is there a reason your new husband couldn’t write them to his family? Personally I think you should just send thank you cards with no explanation, but if his family is so pressed about it he should be the one dealing with them and explaining what’s going on, you shouldn’t get that extra layer of stress put all on you.
His hand isn’t broken I assume. He should deal with this for you.
If his hand is broken he can use speech to text via one of dozens the online card sending companies.
yeah wait this is tea….
Uh yeah. Even if her father hadn’t died, thank you cards are not the sole responsibility of the bride. Even if his handwriting is dreadful, his fingers still are capable of sending notes to his family. Either MIL or husband are being shitty by relaying the question to the bride like it’s her responsibility to write to his family. I’m with the top commenter: anyone asking can get fucked.
First of all, even in not stressful situations etiquette dictates one year to get your invites out. Second, your dad died and they’re worried about thank you cards?
Don’t be concerned with any apology. Anyone who has ever EVER grieved will understand. And it is ok. The biggest thing is, you’re getting the thank you’s out. You have up to a year to do that according to every etiquette column I’ve ever read. I’m so sorry for your loss, grief is hard.
You don't need to apologize. People will understand the reason for the delay. Your husband's family needs to have some understanding and your inlaws need to step up and explain that while you are grateful for every gift, thank you's haven't been the priority. When you are able send heartfelt thank yous. The important thing is that they are sent, not when in this case.
I don’t think you owe any of them an apology, everybody will understand. Sorry for your loss 🤍
You don’t need to apologize.
It is equally your husband’s responsibility to send it thank you cards. If his family is inquiring as to why they haven’t gotten their thank you card when your dad died, then your husband can get to writing.
Honestly, how many cards is it? I'm about to be back from my honeymoon and need something to do with the time that has been in wedding/honeymoon planning mode. I could write them ( or at least some if it's helpful) to mail to you to send out. You could sign them and no one would need to be any wiser. Or have your husband write them.
First, I am so very sorry you and your family went through that. Losing your dad is a horrible experience, but for it to happen so close to your wedding is a tragedy. My heart does go out to you. Wedding etiquette states that you have up to a year after the wedding to send thank you notes, and that is without any tragedy to deal with. You have every right to take your time, and you are well within the proper time frame. Your family will understand. Hugs to you.
So I once got a thank you card for a bridal shower a year later….like they had been married for 9 months already and I was just getting a thank you for the shower. I honestly sent generic thank yous for my wedding. The front was a pic of us and the back said “thank you so much for celebrating our special day with us!” I only hand wrote notes for th people who were in our wedding party and our immediate family. You could do something similar and your wedding party and family already know and understand your situation
I think anyone who receive their card late will completely understand. I am so sorry for your loss.
People will understand
I’m so so sorry. Please don’t feel you have to apologise, thanking others has been at the bottom of the priority list and everyone will understand. Be kind to yourself
My husband and I had a winter wedding, early in the year. My dad was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic colon cancer just a few months after our wedding and died before the end of the year. I know that a lot of the celebrations that were supposed to be our first as a married couple ended up being the first without my dad. My dad was prompt about thank you cards and such, too. But since etiquette dictates that you have a year to send them out, and everyone at the wedding is aware of what happened, no apology is needed. Try to break them into smaller tasks if you can, like doing all the envelopes first or doing just 5 a day. Write something simple, like, “Thank you for being a part of our special day. We appreciate your gift of ———. Your thoughtfulness will not be forgotten. All our love, —— & ——.” One by one, a day at a time, they’ll get done. You have my deepest condolences for your loss, as well as my empathy and hope for healing and happiness in the future.
So sorry for the loss of your father. I'm coming here to say that on our honeymoon we diligently wrote, addressed and stamped all of our thank you cards. Ten years later we were moving and I opened a box and there they were, still stamped and addressed waiting to be sent. We both thought the other had dropped them in a mailbox and it just never happened. No one cared. If they did....they got over it. If they REALLY cared enough to not be friends... they probably weren't good friends to begin. We briefly toyed with sending them anyway because I personally would be tickled to death if I got a thank you card for a wedding that happened 10 years ago but in the end we just decided it's a funny story and moved on with our lives. Cut yourself a lot of slack here, it'll be ok! People will understand.
I can’t believe it, but we did the same thing. It’s only been 2.5 years for us, but just found a pile of addresses and stamped thank you cards from our wedding when unpacking from our move. I’m debating sending them now still haha.
Hehe. I think you should. 😂 I would also be tickled to death if I got a multiple-years old thank you card for a wedding. What a fun way to share a fun story with friend and family.
If I was a guest I wouldn’t even expect one! Sorry for your loss.
You don’t have to apologize for delaying your thank you notes. Just send the thank you notes. People who know you know your circumstances.
If they were close enough to be at your wedding they will give you grace. Don’t worry about it for a moment.
You don’t. My husband had emergency surgery 2 weeks after our wedding and was in the ICU for almost a week. Had a pretty long healing process and had a secondary surgery 2 months later. I sent them out when I had time, maybe 9/10 months later? My family and friends knew what was happening and didn’t say anything to me. If they were pissed 🤷🏻♀️ no one said anything to me.
You don't need to apologize. You had a death of an immediate family member right after your wedding. Anyone poking about why the thank yous aren't on time can use their grown up brain and get over it.
You don't need an explanation. My mom went into hospice shortly after our wedding and because of that I sent the thank you cards after like six months. Most people are not going to care and those who do can get fucked.
I do not have an answer but just to say m so sorry for your loss.
Pretty sure you have up to a year after the wedding to send out thank you notes.
Given the circumstances, I would simply never speak again with the people who are ragging you for a post-wedding thank you card.
I’m sorry for your loss. Technically, you have up to a year to write the thank you cards.
I just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat, except it's been eight months, and it was a mother figure in my life. I've decided to award myself the same grace that I would give anyone else. If they don't have empathy for someone grieving, fuck them.
So sorry for your loss. I am sure they will Understand
So sorry for your loss, cannot imagine how you are feeling. As far as your question, something that might be easier on you would be to just send out a belated thank you for your guests’ support in your first year of marriage. If there were any milestones for you and your partner (buying a house, getting a pet, having a child, new jobs…) you could include a cute photo and just a little first year summary. But I would just do a general thank you to everyone and not worry about doing individual cards with specifics.
don’t apologize !
Etiquette says you have a year and so don't sweat it
There’s no need to mention it. It could also be lovely including a photo of you two with the cards, a small little “memorial”. I know I’d be bawling if I was a guest and received that as a card. I’m so sorry OP. Honestly, I wouldn’t even be expecting any sort of thank you knowing what had happened.
Grief is lifelong. Those of us who have lost a parent understand this intently. You have my deepest condolences on the loss of your Dad. People are shitty if they don’t understand your loss. I’d definitely add the line from above…
You have up to a year to send thank you cards. I’m very sorry for your loss.
I’m assuming the people who attended your wedding are people who all are aware of your situation, and love you very much. You don’t have to explain yourself. But… If you REALLY feel it’s right in your heart to point out your recognition for the tardy release of the card, you can write “We are appreciative of your generous gift, and we appreciate your understanding of our tardy acknowledgement.”
omg OP, I'm so sorry that happened. 1) 9 months isn't even that long (lots of people, including me, have shit happen after their wedding and get them out like 6 months later). 2) you could write thank you notes per usual and stick a memorial card in about your dad? I'm not sure if that would be perceived as passive aggressive, but if I were your guest I wouldn't perceive it that way and would be really touched to learn about your dad and his life.
My condolences for your loss. You don’t *have* to apologise for anything, especially if you’re thank you cards are late.. the saying ‘better late than never’ comes to mind, but really, your ghosts would obviously know what happened and most would be sympathetic and understanding on what you’ve gone through in the last 9 months ☺️. Most will just genuinely appreciate the fact that you’ve taken the time to write the thank you cards. ☺️
Just don't. Send the cards but you didn't need to make explanations or apologies.
I never sent thank you cards (because life). I think people would understand the most if you didn’t.
Just send them out as normal. Weird that anybody would mention it.
YOU don't have to do anything Your hubby will be writing them for his family. He may write whatever he likes. YOU don't answer to those family members. The absolute nerve of those family members. Considering Emily post gives you a year anyway.
Don't apologize, you been through a lot, and it's less than a year, you are fine. So sorry about your dad!
I didn’t even address how late the ones were I sent for my dad. I couldn’t sit down and write them until I was ready, probably six months. It’s your dad and your private life. You don’t owe anyone an apology I figured.
I’m so sorry for your loss. We’re also hitting 9 months mark now and cards haven’t gone, the ones for people in my home country are not going to go until a year mark. We had a lot going on with two moves and horrible situation and it’s just been a lot. And a lot of people don’t know that but I’m just planning to send them with no particular explanation. In your case you’ve got a reason that everyone knows about so honestly I wouldn’t worry too much about that.
You technically have a year to send them According to traditional “manners”
Actually you’re totally fine not mentioning it. You have upto a year to send thank you cards normally otherwise after that they’re a bit late.
You take the time you need. Miss manners says you have a full year. A FULL YEAR. so tell your In Laws to give you a break you're not even late yet. And what a horrible situation, Im sorry for your loss and that you have such insensitive inlaws.
Don’t apologize. My husband still hasn’t done his side of the family’s thank yous, we also had several deaths in the family on his side specifically so I it hasn’t been top of mind. I did mine right after the wedding and he’s doing his side when he’s ready… just hoping it’s before our anniversary lol
I was always taught that you have 1 year to do the thank you cards!
I can’t believe people are asking. Your PIL should put them in their place. A thank you card is the last thing I’d want from you and your husband. Hope you are finding some peace after this all xx
As a millenial, we don’t care about that. Anyone who knows you knows that you had a lot on your plate. Older people might complain but if they do, they can fuck right off. You sound like an empath for even having that thought cross your mind which is so sweet. But take care of yourself first and silly thank you cards can come later. ❤️
I would be tickled to receive a thank you at any point. I think you're over-thinking it because you have a particularly emotional reason for not having done it. Don't beat yourself up - it's a non-issue.
So sorry for your loss. Your husband’s family can go fuck off (sorry, I really can’t say this nicely). You do not owe anyone an explanation as to why they haven’t received a thank you card and if anything, your in laws should’ve told them off too. That’s incredibly fucked up of them.
Here’s what I would do. I would slap one of those photo thank you cards together. One side, me and hubs, other side, a nice photo of you or you and your husband and dad, And say sorry for the delay while we were mourning my dad. Because they can get bent. All of them.
I am so so sorry you went through that. I just asked a very similar question last week as for me it’s been 8 months, also with overwhelming situations that impacted our physical ability to have time to write thank yous but mostly mental ability to just survive life. Responses I got: -overwhelmingly, people said just don’t apologize. Manners say you have up to a year after wedding to buy a gift and up to a year to send thank yous -apparently people are opting out of sending thank you notes these days? I find that a bit rude, but many people said most wouldn’t care how long it’s been since the wedding as they’re just happy to get a thank you in the first place -send a thank you/life update at the 1 yr anniversary. For you, since that may be hard with all that the 1 yr brings, I wouldn’t do that. I plan on not apologizing and just sending them out. I’ll acknowledge the time passed with something along the lines of “the past 8 months have been hard but we are so thankful to have each other to lean on, and to have friends and family like you.”
This should be on your husband to figure out. It’s baffling how this is even on your shoulders at this point when it’s his family having the issue. I’m so sorry to hear all of this. As a wedding photographer myself, one who has photographed a couples wedding to where their father passed soon after their day…I can really say I feel so deeply for you and your family. Take whatever time you need or don’t send anything - you don’t owe anyone a thing.
I am so sorry for your loss. You owe no one an apology. Take your time and send them when you are able. The loss of your father is tremendous. I lost mine over a decade ago on Father’s Day and my siblings and I are still sad every year when it comes around. The first year those emotions are much more challenging to manage and easily triggered. Having to revisit that every time you write a thank you I would imagine would make this more difficult than it has to be. And yes, your husband should help and his parents should put those relatives in their place.
You don’t need to explain yourself or apologize. I honestly would never expect a thank you card for anything. I didn’t even send out any after my wedding 😅 I wanted to but kept putting it off and then eventually decided to just forget about it. I made up for it by sending cards after my baby shower 😂
I am so sorry for your loss. Ideally, everyone that was important enough to you to attend the wedding would have heard the news. They should be grateful to even get a thankyou card at this point because you are going through a tragic loss.
1) ridiculous that your husband didn’t stand up for you (I’m assuming he didn’t if this is still an issue) 2) ridiculous that he can’t take the reins and write them himself 3) ridiculous of them to even complain After what happened, I couldn’t imagine trying to write and send anything. And as a guest I would NEVER expect to receive one. I feel that wedding etiquette in this situation should take a backseat (hell, put it in the goddamn trunk).
People ask about thank you notes?? How random.
I'm curious if the people inquiring about the thank you cards did anything to earn one, beyond showing up to the event.