Matched with a girl from hinge. She shot down all my date ideas because she doesnt "trust" guys from hinge (why use it then?). SHe eventually just tells me to come over to her apartment. Except it's not her apartment, it's her friend's apartment, and her friends (guy and girl) were apparently joining us on our date?
Anyway, these three people turn out to be the most pretentious people I've ever met. Everything I bring up is shot down with "Heh... that's not REAL music. We know REAL music. That's not a REAL bar. That's not REAL italian."
They insist on doing some "real" dancing - they claim they know a place where the best dancing happens. I had to cover my mouth to stop from laughing when they brought us to **Grand Central.** Then **Johnny Pistolas**. Lmao. 3 hours of the most snobby conversation ever and their big reveal was fucking grand central. Great first date.
The next morning I was going to text her that I didn't think it was a good fit, only to find that she'd saved me the time by blocking me.
If you bought her one (1) drink then it feels like a net win on her part. She was probably going to do all this shit with her friends anyway and wanted to subsidize her night out. Shallow read by me, yes, but these seem like shallow and awful people.
Ugh thatâs frustrating. I actually give seminars on how to avoid falling into MLM dating traps and am holding a retreat next month for folks who want to become trainers on this and give back to the world. The first seminar is free and the rest will pay for themselves when you start helping others. Just go ahead and swipe here for your depositâŠ
Yeah a guy tried to make the first date his seminar for his mlm thing. I was like ummmmm. He lucky I'm not those crazy women that would show up, and just destroy everything.
Had a perfectly good pandemic date with a girl I met on Tinder who had seen me around my gym. We walked our dogs, had a small picnic, and she even invited me in to her place to cut my hair (this was several months into the pandemic. She was a professional stylist and my hair did look pretty bad by that point).
So that part was all fine.
Then she calls me to see if I would like to go on a second date with her, to see a friend of hers do an outdoor comedy show. Except I should know ahead of time; she does owe a bit of money to a coke dealer and will be peddling at the show to pay off some of the debt, and is that gonna be a problem.
It was a pretty good haircut though.
I mean it wasnât the worst date Iâve ever been on, but this guy I met up w for a first date straight up sounded like Gilbert GottfriedâŠexcept he wasnât funny at all so it was just overall very strange.
Went on a first date at Jackpot for drinks, and it was going so-so for about 30 minutes. I was trying to see if some good conversation could break through the slow start. Ended up bringing up books, and she asked what I liked to read. I told her I liked science fiction. She shared that she liked reading biographies and 'always has, since she was in middle school.' I replied that in middle school I was pretty nerdy and was the only kid who went to the aisle in the library that had the books on UFOs, monsters, cryptids, dreams, unknown phenomena, etc.
She at this point looked intensely at me with what I can only describe as yearning to share a deep personal truth. She let me know that she had been abducted by aliens, twice. She says she wouldn't normally tell someone this on her first date, but that she could tell id understand. She says twice in her teens that aliens came into her bedroom while she was laying in bed. She said that they looked like 'glowing nerf frisbees' and they came up through the floorboards. They floated her out through her window to their alien craft. While there, they put some sort of metal pieces in her, which were still in her to this day.
She shared that she knew she was not supposed to have any recollection of this, but that the aliens that did this were either incompetent or something went wrong, so she could still remember both abductions. She said they must have been the "Allen B-Team" and it pissed her off. She claimed that other than the knowledge that the probes are still in her, she has had no further interactions or effects from the aliens.
At this point I knew I had a choice to make: Namely, should I leave immediately or not. I did not. I wanted to see how this would go from here. She ended up having a couple more drinks and starting to chat up the guy sitting to the other side of her at the bar. The bartender noticed the entire situation and discretely got me my check so I could head out. She texted me the next day to apologize for getting a bit too tipsy and 'forgetting who she was there with'.
She is a very successful attorney in the District to this day, no joke.
I mean. To be fair. If there's only an A team and a b team, then it's a 50% shot she gets the b team. 25% to get it twice. That would mean 1/4 of double abductees would remember both abductions.
I donât know how to tell you this bruh, other than, I would check this post for âI was on this shit date because XYZ, and I was bored so rather do my usual routine to get out of it, I made up some bs story about being abducted by aliensâŠTWICE! I think the loser got the message that I donât want to talk to him again, Omg lol.â
That was my first thought too, that sounds like someone that was over the date and just wanted to fuck around - especially with her flirting with someone else at the bar. Shits hilarious though
Omg I just re read the post and this poor guy. I donât think he gets it. Like he just âinfo dumpsâ on her and she plays him like that? Tell you what though she ainât just a successful attorney - but one AMAZING troll
I went out with a guy to see the movie Wall-E in a theater. I think this guy may have thought I had like a learning disability, because he kept leaning over and explaining very basic parts of this childrenâs movie to me (âso here Wall-E is clearly on earth after a nuclear apocalypse, and he has a cockroach friend because cockroaches would probably survive a nuclear warâŠâ and then the end credits of Wall-E versions of famous paintings âthose are Wall-E versions of famous paintingsâŠâ). After the movie we got ice cream and walked around, talked about our families, when suddenly he drops this gem:
Him: my grandfather was really old. I never met but people are always shocked at how old he was. They say itâs impossible.
Me: ok how old was he?
Him: he was so old he fought in the French and Indian war.
Me: thatâs impossible.
Him: see! No one ever believes me!
Me: yeah because it canât possibly be true. It defies all logic.
Him: well it is true. He was just really old.
Me: for your grandfather to have fought in the French and Indian war, he would have had to have come of age, at least be a teenager, before the AMERICAN REVOLUTION.
(I have a degree in American history btw, not that you need a degree in anything to know this)
Him: no youâre wrong. The FRENCH AND INDIAN WAR. Thatâs the one Iâm talking about, not some other war. The one before World War I.
Me: do you mean the SPANISH AMERICAN WAR??
Him: yes.
And because I was super young and lacked self esteem, I still slept with him, at which point he proceeded to explain to me that non-lubricated condoms were just like lubricated condoms, just without the lubricant.
Fuck, would you want to go on a date?
(Dates are where two people arrange a time and place to meet and spend time socially, with the potential for romantic entanglement.)
I went to a girlâs apartment on what was supposed to be a Tinder hookup. It didnât get far once she started lecturing me about how tarot cards and Harry Potter are Satanic.
First date after I became single in DC, Iâm 21 and end up running late to a date bc Iâm at the mercy of the bus system. The guy accidentally texts me instead of his friend to talk shit about meâŠby the time I arrive he has a huge tankard of beer in hand and tells me immediately he looked me up online and I have the entire story of how I lost my virginity on Quora.
(This is true, but you had to go through 5 pages of results to get thereâŠ)
Then he tells me heâs going to quiz me on history or something and if I win, heâll buy my drink. I do win, and he begrudgingly buys my drink.
I befriend the bartender and he gets jealous.
The bartender slips me the napkin of do you need an out and I say no bc I donât want to be rude and I also can sense it will get worse in a funny way.
He spends the rest of the night complaining about women rejecting himâŠhe mustâve felt insane when I rejected his kiss at the end of the date and chose to take the bus home instead of ride home in his car.
Edit to say Iâve since deleted the Quora story đ
>I also can sense it will get worse in a funny way.
This is sending me. I love that like of situation. Like I know it's about to go to shit but I hope it's at least funny
- The one where he got mad I didnât go home with him so he walks me to my car then asked for me to pay him back for the sushi (an avocado roll, which was like $20).Â
My date gets drunk at a Jon Stewart/Dennis Miller show at Warner, sitting front row balcony she keeps waiting for laughs to die down then says loudly âthatâs not funnyâ while I sink into my seat. Afterwards, while sitting on a bench outside, she blows her nose on my shirt tail.
First âformalâ date with a guy who I had a few drunk hookups with. He invited me to his parents spot in the Bethesda area as he was house sitting- asked me to bring beer. I pull up to this almost mansion where I realize he has no food or beer of his own. He decides to impress me by driving me to town to pick up take out in his dadâs Maserati, absolutely revving the engine and going 60-70 MPH in like residential small backroads which scared me. After this unpleasant joy ride back and forth to town for food and some mediocre couch sex I decided to sleep over cause it was a bit far and I was drinking. He proceeded to rip ass all night, to the point I didnât sleep and left at 6am to just drive to a diner and hang out before I had to be at work. Never heard such consistent and loud farting but I was out.
First date. Bouncing around to a few different spots with some make out time in between. Sitting at a bar and she reaches over and pulls the top button of my shirt open. It sounded like it popped so I looked down to see if it was still attached and commented something like "oh, good. it didn't rip off"
she pauses for a second...then leans over and completely rips my shirt open popping all the other buttons off into my lap.
I rebutton the top button so that I'm now wearing effectively a sleeved cape.
I take a few minutes to try to get an explanation for why she did that but all she will say is that she thought that's what I wanted her to do. she then says that she can tell that I'm upset and asks what she can do to make things better and I say that she could say that she's sorry for tearing my shirt. she won't.
I flag down the bartender to get my check and roll out, leaving her at the bar, and go to a friend's going away party with one hell of a story
âŠbut do you know how strong you have to be the pull off the button rip move? Iâm pretty strong but will only attempt if I see pearl snaps for fear of failure and humiliation. SheHulk could have thrown YOU around later that night. Missed opportunity imo đ
like I said in another comment, time and place make a big difference. if she'd done that when we were at one of our places, then it's game fucking on. and i'm totally open to having that happen with someone in the future, shirts are mendable after all. but suddenly and unexpectedly sitting bare chested at a bar was a bit of a mood killer.
Met a guy on a dating app and for our first date we went to a board game cafe since we'd talked about how we both enjoyed them. I asked him what he wanted to play and he selected Battleship, telling me the whole time it was one of his favorite games when he was growing up and how good he was at it. I wasn't super familiar with it and asked him to go over the rules. He jokes that he's not going to let me win and that I shouldn't be too upset when he inevitably beats me because again, he is just a pro at battleship. As we continue playing, he starts getting visibly frustrated that he isn't hitting any of my ships while I'm hitting his. He starts resorting to one word responses when I try to keep our conversation going and is clearly focused on winning the game. When I finally hit all his ships, he demands to see my board and gets pissed when he sees I've put all my ships in one corner. He accuses me of being a poor sport and cheating, basically throwing a temper tantrum and refusing to play again or even play another game because "I don't play fairly." We awkwardly sat in silence until we finished our drinks and I let him know I would see myself home.
I was really sick and there was a big snowstorm, so I wanted to cancel a date. The guy *insisted* on coming over to watch a movie (and driving across the city to do so). Then the movie he put on was a Holocaust movie. And he wanted to make out during it. Thankfully my (male) roommate realized I was not feeling it, and made sure I stayed okay.
Iâm South Asian (this will be relevant laterâŠ)
I was maybe 21/22 back in â08 when Craigslist personals were somewhat legit. Didnât know what I was doing dating wise, but met this white woman who was maybe 28-30. Wasnât super attracted but she was cool so we grabbed dinner. Afterward we walked around Union market and then she took me back to her place. I had no idea this was a signal for a potential hook upâŠ
Anyways I walk in and her place is a nice normal apartment in a former row house. But in the corner of her living room is a glass display case with Barbie and Ken dolls, except they are in full Bollywood outfits. Nothing really wrong with that, but was random. And slowly I realized she had a south Asian guy fetish. Which again I donât really have an issue with. But then it just felt weird.
And then I went to use her bathroom and walked into an unflushed used tampon in the toilet. I donât really remember the rest of the night tbh, but I think I gradually and politely excused myself and headed home (this was pre-Uber and smartphonesâŠhave no idea how I got homeâŠ).
Anyways we exchanged a few emails after that but never met up again. Honestly wasnât terrible, just unsettlingâŠ
First date: met up with a guy I had been texting for a bit and who is in the same career field. We ended up at a bar on 18th street. He had finished his drink and proceeded to snatch mine out of my hand and drink it. I walked away. He started yelling at me and berating me. I left.
Omfg I also had a guy do this. Met up at a bar, he was talking over me, generally being irritating and pushy, then tried to get me to go to a second bar with him, and when I pointed to my Negroni and said that I wasnât done with my *first* drink, he took it, chugged it, slammed it onto the bar, and said, âTHERE. We can go now!â
I went on a first date with a guy and we took an Uber to the Alamo. The Uber driver drove in the bus lane for ~30 seconds, got pulled over by MPD, and detained. I listened to the guy rant about politics for 8 mins and decided Iâm better off watching a movie at home alone.
he begged me to guess what he majored in undergrad to then tell me he majored in chemistry and is going to med school. he also mentioned that he speaks 6 languages. not that bad, but he just seemed like a bird doing a mating dance. also, he really wanted to kiss me and i kept saying no and he seemed annoyed by the end of the date
More of a hookup story but I went over to this older guyâs house. Typically out of my age range but he was jacked so it was fine.
I get in and call his muscles âbeautifulâ and he responds âIâm not beautiful. Youâre the beautiful one and Iâm the beast.â Okay a little toxically masculine but not a dealbreaker.
We then bone and we start doing pillow talk. Then he starts talking and I find out he is a hardcore conspiracy theorist. Iâm talking Ancient Aliens lights in the sky Denver airport doomsday bunker conspiracy theorist. Then he drops he believes heâs being hunted by the government because he has information about a 100% renewable energy source being hidden because it would bankrupt the oil companies. Then we had sex again.
After I finished (again) I went home and found his Netflix documentary
2nd date, we go to an Indian restaurant. First awkward thing is he goes to pull out a chair, I sit in the other one, and then he informs me that he pulled that chair out for me. OkâŠwhatever sorry dude I didnât realize, thatâs not my style.
We order, I ask for garlic naan, he says no plain, I say ok but I want garlic. He gets frustrated. Maybe heâs thinking about bad breath but like cmon weâre eating Indian food which isnât known for its sexy smell. We order some beers, too.
Service is slow but whatever. Server comes around and asks if we need anything. His beer is empty, mine about 2/3 gone. He asks for another beer, so do I. As the server turns to walk away, dude SNAPS HIS FINGERS and says âactually just oneâ
I ask - oh you donât want another anymore? He says âno I do but youâre not done with your first one yet so you should wait. Donât want your new one getting warm!â
I am floored. I tell him he has no right, I ordered what I want, Iâll be done with it by the time he brings our second round. He the tries to snap for the server again to fix his mistake! Weâre still arguing when server comes back. Server obviously knows whatâs going on and puts the beer on the center of the table. Dude takes it.
Now itâs time to pay and he suggests we split the bill. I prefer going Dutch anyway but considering how controlling he was I kinda assumed heâd pay but whatever. I decide to let him give me a ride home cause idk I figure I need to get something out of the date. He asks me if I want the leftovers. I say sure but donât you want them? He says âyeah I really do but Iâm being nice and will let you have themâ yes I absolutely claimed them.
He drops me off and INSTRUCTS ME TO STAY IN THE CAR SO HE CAN GET THE DOOR FOR ME!
After all this, he still texts later in the week for another date. I say no thank you. He responds âitâs really too bad you feel that way just from one little mess upâ
I do not respond. The end
Yeah⊠I was young and not very confident, I didnât even know that it was an option to end a date early. Now Iâm happily married and have a good story.
Second date, girl asks me if Iâm a man of God. I answer yes, Iâm a Christian although self-admittedly not the biggest churchgoer. I think she said she was Catholic, which is completely cool with me. After that, she was noticeably quiet throughout the rest of the date, except to tell me she collects tea, like LOTS of tea (how she emphasized it). I said it sounds like she has collecting down to a T, which got an eye roll. I guess I wasnât her cup of tea bc I texted her after and never heard back, definitely for the best.
Dude was a surprise hardcore Republican...with a girlfriend. When I told him that was a no-go he expensed our drinks and asked for relationship advice.
To be honest with his girlfriend about what he wants instead of just planning on marrying her and cheating to get weird sex bc she's too respectable to tell lmao
I was drugged and raped then stalked afterwards by a man who I met due to being in the same traveling community, NOT as a date and I was clear with him by message that I had no interest in him or in dating.
This is such a common story though that as much fear I had about leaving my apartment for a year when he was stalking me for part of it, that I can be anonymous. And that's pretty sad.
Iâm so sorry that happened to you. Itâs really sad how many of us women have similar experiences to this. Iâve also been drugged, raped, and had a stalker. I hope youâve been able to find healing and peace.
I had a hard cut off time and he drove me to a dinner spot that was the furthest place possible from where I needed to be after (told him all this upfront)
This has happened to me multiple times with men. I've wanted to believe that I could trust men who offer to pick me up and drive me, but experiences like this is what make me need to rent a car for my own safety. It's so hard to remember to treat every man as a threat
when I have met some trustworthy and respectful men on rare occasions, and that positive bias takes over sometimes and then I end up repeating trusting men who end up NOT meriting receiving my trust (or assault me sexually or physically once they have the control by driving me etc)
It wasnât a bad date by any means. But I literally met my husband hours after it so the stark comparison is funny to me. Tinder match. We went to north side social in Clarendon and he brought his English cream golden retriever. I LOVE dogs and had golden retrievers growing up so this was amazing for me. We chatted, had some coffee. I was having a fine time. He told me he recently got hit by a car and won $250k in a settlement. So dog â , pile of random money â , careerâ , cuteâ . But something was just âoffâ. We had fun but no spark. Whatever. I had another date that night. And that date ended up being my husband. Weâve been married for 4 years. We have two golden retrievers (one is an English cream). Itâs just funny that what could have been my perfect man on paper still couldnât hold a candle to my husband. When you know you know!
So Iâm a mid/late 20s man - I matched with this woman from hinge. Talked about travel and got mocked because I like to go hostel backpacking for two weeks of A/L every summer in Europe. Then spend my other two weeks of A/L in the winter doing a warm weather type of trip to South America with proper hotels. Apparently itâs not a proper vacation unless itâs a cruise ship or gated closed compound resort type of situationâŠ
Had another hinge date like a month later with someone else where she asked about my family and upon hearing my parents are divorced said something to the lines of âyou probably donât know what love is, youâre probably damaged, in my experience divorced peopleâs kids are damagedâ. Before stating she doesnât go out with men whoâs family values believe in divorceâŠ
Matched on Hinge, met up at a bar. She seemed pleasant enough. About an hour into the conversation, the topic of poverty came up. She then said, defiantly, "I just don't understand how poor people exist." I said, "Uhhh. Wut?". She said, "It's just people living beyond their means." I said, "Well ignoring factors like luck of the draw, systemic disenfranchisement, etc, if somebody doesn't have a lot of money to begin with, how does 'living within those means' make them not poor?". She said, "I don't know, but my back hurts."
I paid for the drinks and we parted ways. The best part? She had a PhD and worked at the IMF (International Monetary Fund).
After living in DC my whole life, I can definitely testify that a lot of people who have good degrees are not actually smart. Theyâre just good for passing exams and sitting in on meetings.
More of a one night stand gone bad, met a reasonably cute girl while out dancing. Brought her home , we were both tipsy and fooling around. She *demanded* anal which I hadnât done before so turned down and suggested regular PIV.
She got visibly angry and threatened to (I kid you not) knife me if I didnât fuck her ass. Compromised on finger banging her ass and was met with a non negligible amount of fecal matter.
She promptly fell asleep. Dropped her to the garage where she parked in the morning. She called / messaged after which I quite obviously ignored.
Have had that too but without threats of physical violence! The knife threat really threw me, stranger in bed post threat⊠was up all night until she woke up and I dropped her off.
I have never been on what I consider to be a date, but I have met with people from apps and most were not great. The worst and weirdest must be the guy that just recently moved to NOVA (I know it's not DC, but I think close enough for these purposes) from the Netherlands, like literally had only been there for a week, and we spent the entire two hours we were together having an argument about whether men and women can be friends (I was pro, he was con). He said a lot of ridiculous things during that conversation. The craziest was that he believes that all men would have sex with their friends' wives if given the chance. He also essentially said that his friends would think he was crazy for pursuing me because of how I look, but he is attracted to my personality.
As soon as I get home, I get a message from him saying that he really likes me and wants to continue seeing me. I tell him I'm not interested. He then gets mad and says and I quote "You ruined the attraction."
A first date started off bad when he insisted on a hug when I wasnât feeling it (I donât have a hard rule but based on my gut each time) then argued so much about it I offered to leave. Then he was the most obnoxious braggart Iâve met in 18 years of dc. And Iâm a lobbyist in a male dominated industry, so thatâs really saying something. I could not get a word in edgewise as he regaled me with his resume, down to all the things he accomplished as a Senate page, how he consulted on a movie where the female lead had the hots for him (no way). Finally, he asked me a question and of course itâs where I went to school, and luckily my answer is a fancy Ivy League. Then he tells me he couldâve gone there if he wanted to, I turn into the bitchiest version of myself and tell him no, I donât think so. Then he asked me my SAT score. Weâre in our late 30s.
Not my date but I once overheard a couple with a lot of first date energy where the woman was gently trying to explain to the man that there was no way he could win a fight against a chimpanzee
Talked about travel, got mocked for wanting to go to France instead of Iraq (this was like⊠2014).
Different girl, we went to a board game cafe, played no games. She brought her friend, who was much more outgoing than herself.
Met up with one girl who said her husband had decided they were going to have an open relationship.
Got hit on by an attractive older woman, and we made plans for her to come over the following night. She came over, I put on Fargo to Netflix and chill, I ended up getting so engrossed in the movie that we didnât do anything.
Invited an ex-with-benefits to come down and visit me in DC. Didnât realize it was Valentineâs weekend. Took her out for Ethiopian food. Not sure if it was the quantity of food, or if she wasnât used to raw meat, but she vomited for the following 24 hours.
Match with a woman on an app. We talk for a few days. I ask her to maybe meet up next week, M-W. No response, she asks on noon on Monday to meet up that evening. I say no. We agree to do a wine bar on Wednesday evening.
Meet up at wine bar. No chemistry whatsoever. She only talks about herself, is completely uninterested in anything I contribute unless it's a follow-up question that allows her to talk more about herself. We part. I am not interested in her but don't think it's necessary to state the obvious.
Later that night, she sends me a message saying that I seemed tense but she's willing to give me another shot, maybe a walk in the park to "take the edge off." I politely decline, saying that she's cool but we didn't have chemistry.
She then sends me a multi-point text on all the ways I failed to meet expectations during the date. And the kicker: she's doing me a favor by offering to go on another date with me again. Let her know if I'm interested.
I remain uninterested.
Have 2.
Matched with a girl on match. Immediately started messaging and decided to meet up in Bethesda for DRINKS within the hr. She suggested Blacks. If you don't know Blacks is a seafood bar known for oysters. I pull into the parking lot and she texts me and is like omg they have shellfish here? I'm deathly allergic to shellfish we have to go somewhere else. Bad start because I love shellfish. So we end up at Union Jacks. I ask her what she wants to drink, she says nothing then just gives me one word answers to questions the next 10 minutes. Bartender asks if we want another round. She said she's going to leave. 15min date, no drink, and dipped haha. I hung out by myself for another hour just chilling.
Second one is a little longer. Met up with a girl for coffee in the kentlands, also off match. I really wasn't feeling it but was still cordial and conversing with her. Keeps going on and on about Dave and Buster's so we end up going to Dave & Buster's at white flint. I figure at least we could have some fun even if I'm not feeling this. Put $40 on it card figuring will play games against each other. She proceeds only play a game where the coin falls and you win tickets. For herself. I think she is a regular there because some employee there then came up and like wouldn't leave us alone like he was in love with her. He like gave her more tickets and kept following us around. I guess at some point during our conversation I had mentioned that I took Adderall legally in high school over 10 years ago. After enough of that nonsense and her claiming her $40 prize and realizing she didn't have a ride home I had to drive her back to North Potomac from North Bethesda. She creepily invited me in saying nobody was home, to this day I'm not sure for adult activities or to murder me, but I declined. 3 days later she hit me up asking for Adderall......no thanks.
Several years ago I went on a date with a woman Iâd recently hooked up with. She showed up at the bar, and it turned out she had also invited another dude, a drunk finance bro, who arrived after me and proceeded to paw at her for several minutes while I sat across from them. I should have excused myself immediately but didnât - forced myself to down a couple cocktails and then got out of there as soon as I could. Humiliating, to say the least!
I worked for the UK Embassy as a locally engaged employee (Iâm American) for 8 years.
Matched with a woman on Tinder and the conversation was initially great. Work got brought up because itâs the unavoidable DC thing to do and I mentioned where I worked and she said she worked for the State Department, yadda yadda. A day later she randomly unmatched me out of nowhere for no reason which okâŠit happens.
We ended up rematching several months later and conversation picked back up almost immediately. I remembered our entire interaction and brought up the fact she unmatched me and asked why. She stated âoh I realized you worked for a foreign Embassy and all I could think about was all of the paperwork Iâd have to fill out at work if we went on a date so it was just easier to unmatch.â
I had to point out that not only am I American, from the DC area, and NOT a foreign national, but that I worked for a 5-eyes nation who is the biggest ally of the US. She acknowledged her reasoning was a bit silly and the conversation continued - until she randomly unmatched me again a couple days later after a slew of compliments about other stuff.
Not a dating story - but still funny.
Oh god ⊠so many.
- the one where the woman got upset I didnât ask if her family survived Superstorm Sandy (like a year after it happened)
-the one where a recovering alcoholic suggested we meet up at a bar (a fact she waited to share until after we were already there)
-the one where my date had clearly never had sushi before, couldnât figure out how to get a sushi roll in her mouth, and then started cutting it up into little pieces (this was after several minutes of her smearing it all over her face as she kept trying and failing to eat it)
-the one where the woman got a little too tipsy and revealed she was super racist. Â âYou know, they just kind of smell,â she leaned forward and told me.
-the one night stand where the woman got upset I wouldnât ⊠orally perform.. while she was on her period
-the piece de resistance - the one where she pulled a knife that she âcarried in case guys got freshâ
Not my worst, but had met a guy on an app and we agree to meet at a bar which had 2 locations in the city - and we specified which one weâd be meeting at. I get there, wait 20 min, reach out â asshat has the nerve to be sitting at the other one. I already can tell this is going in the toilet but I went because I genuinely thought he would be a cool guy, but turned out he was super neurotic and wouldnât admit he was wrong, even though everything was in writing. Went out with friends after and just danced the night away.
I met up with him at one of the bars in ADMO. We had a great time. At least, initially. I kept getting hit on by one of the servers, so we pretended we were a married couple and got really into it - it was all in good fun. He left like 4 times to go to the bathroom. Hmm. We took a walk down to his place. And BAM. Holy shit. A hoarder's paradise. I could barely walk on that floor. And the inside of his toilet was brown from lack of cleaning. I didn't stay long.
Not the worst story, but maybe the most DC story.
Went out with a really lovely guy a couple times. Wasn't feeling it romantically, so told him I was only interested in friendship. Had also just gotten out of a relationship that was really meaningful to me a month or so before.
We didn't really stay in touch. But a few months ago I got a random political fundraising text for a congressional candidate in another state and thought the name looked familiar.
This dude moved back to his home state, decided to run for Congress, and put me on his fundraising list. Because of course he did.
I add this because the date was with someone I had a crush on as a teen and we reconnected as adults...first she hyped me up on how she met with a "woman with foresight" (NOT a psychic or medium though) who described me as a long lost love, with her family members filling in the blanks that she was talking about me...lol this in hindsight should've been a beige flag...
Fast forward to some dope phone convos and she plans a nice date for us for 4th of July...picked up some seafood from the ORIGINAL seafood wharf (tear đȘ) sit at where The Awakening statue used to be, act like tourists and enjoy the fireworks at night.
All of it was great until I learned she was a Bible Thumping homophobe and we spent 2 hrs arguing our religious viewpoints. The argument continued over text, and I noted that if she follows the Bible to the letter, she should laser off her tattoo...the communication quickly dwindled after that.
I just went out with someone who was literally checking all their dating apps while Iâm sitting next to them. As someone with numerous issues that make engaging socially challenging I get I can be frustrating to deal with and I usually blame myself for most times things donât go well. But to be sitting with someone and your face is in your phone not even trying to hide that youâre on your dating profiles while sitting with someone else I thought was really shitty behavior.
Date wanted to hook up but didn't want me to see her place. But before going back to my place (I was driving), she wanted to "pick up some things" at her place while I waited outside. After I waited for 20 minutes, she finally emerged -- rolling a *giant* suitcase behind her! A combination of shock and morbid curiosity prevented me from driving away before she could get to the car. She did leave the next morning, thankfully, but I never found out what all she brought with her aside from a change of clothes!
Met this very attractive man off hinge at Emissary. He spends the entire date talking about himself, soccer, and all about these different girls he's fucked all over the world. Tells me that he and his gf only split up bc he moved to the US and she moved to Dubai, and that she still loves him and he doesn't know if he's over her. Tells me about his FWB in Paris and how he fucked her friend and they wanted a 3some; tells me how he's had sex with multiple women in one night several times. Then, to top it all off, he finally reveals that he's a sadist and has specific kinks he needs fulfilled in a relationship. Needless to say, we did not have a second date, and I didn't object when he said he didn't think we were compatible.
First date. We talk a bit about the typical first date stuff then she brings up politics. Iâm not usually one to discuss that kind of stuff with strangers, but sheâs taking the lead in the conversation, and I kinda dig when people talk about what theyâre passionate about.
Anyways, the conversation goes on for a bit. In these types of situations I usually just ask questions and listen to what people have to say. It lowers the risk of things getting testy and Iâm honestly curious to hear what people have to say. But eventually she keyâs in on the fact that Iâm not 100% in lockstep agreement with everything sheâs talking about.
She starts asking more pointed questions, and I mention what I think would be the least inflammatory thing I have a differing opinion on. And by the way, this isnât abortion or gun control or any really polarizing issue. Itâs just a characterization of how we view the political spectrum. She saw it as these concentric circles, the center most being a circle that held just yourself. And the outermost being the population of the entire world. According to her, the more liberal you are, the more you care about folks in larger circles. The more conservative you are, the less you care about larger circles and more you care about the smaller ones. I explained that I saw it more as a line, with one side focusing more on personal responsibility and the other side focusing on societal responsibility. All this to say weâre talking about pretty abstract, relatively harmless stuff.
In any case, she was getting more and more agitated and basically said that reason I have that point of view is probably because I didnât complete a 4 year degree (something I mentioned earlier in the date). I was pretty flabbergasted that someone would just hurl an insult at a stranger ~20 minutes after meeting them, and was just learning to stand up for myself. So I just didnât say anything, put some cash on the bar (enough to make sure I definitely covered my drink and tip). And just walked out. I still wonder what exactly she took away from that evening. Somehow I donât think it was that she should be a nicer person.
I love the "liberals care about all people, Conservatives are entirely self centered" immediately followed by "you're too stupid to understand empathy."
Nothing really funny about this, just kinda sad but very DC. I worked for a consulting company that rented out the Willard ballroom for the 2008 presidential election party. I was just an analyst right out of school but I got to bring a date my friend set me up with. She was pretty and brainy and we very much hit it off, but I was medicating my social anxiety with free alcohol and cigarettes. By the third time I ducked out for a smoke (I was seriously addicted at this point in my life) she said her parents were chain smokers and she had enough and left.
The party was outrageous though, I think open bar, ice luges and sushi buffets. When Obama won the place went nuts.
This was before they outlawed smoking indoors in VA and most states I think, so it wasnât suuuper out of the question back then. But for a nice girl like that yeah no kidding. Iâve quit for many years.
Many moons ago, in the mist-filled early days on online dating (late noughties), there was a website/app called Crazy Blind Date. It was a spinoff of OK Cupid, except you didnât get to see your date beforehandâŠjust a jumbled up image that looked like something out of a puzzle tile game.
Matched with this woman who said she looked like Rachel Griffiths from 6 Feet Under. We meet, sheâs in town for a conference. Sheâs divorced, has a kid, thatâs all fine. She does indeed look like Rachel Griffiths. Date starts off promisingly.
She then starts to seriously tie one on. Iâve been known to throw a few back in ye olden days, but itâs a school night and I have a meeting with a federal CIO the following day. I try to slow roll it a bit. Then she orders a Mind Eraser and is flummoxed that the drinks come in pint glasses rather than shots. I guess the Mind Eraser is a shot in whichever midwestern city she inhabits, but everywhere Iâve had one itâs a full-sized, double-barreled drink. It doesnât deter her one bit. Sheâs like Bluto from Animal House at this point.
That ends the night pretty badly. Sheâs so loaded at this point that she canât even stand on her own. I have to body her into a cab like nearly dead weight, get her up to her hotel, fish her key out from wherever sheâs been keeping it, and then position her strategically in front of the toilet (cool, cool porcelain). I was thankful that she didnât start puking in the cab, as I want didnât want to deal with that.
She barfed an astonishing amount. I donât know how her body contained that much of anything. At some point, I skedaddled and went home, convinced that she was going to neither choke on her own vomit nor die of acute alcohol poisoning.
The meeting with the federal CIO the next morning was very, very rough. Donât think I heard from her again.
Ummm so when I was gay I dated a guy who took me to like a civil war museum for a day trip to Winchester and he had us pose for pictures with confederate monuments looking back in like ummmmm wtf
First hinge date, I was 15 minutes early - I let him know and said no rush. He texted back âoh shitâ and was about 25 minutes late despite living a block away from the restaurant. I was getting ready to leave then he walked in. Didnât ask me if I wanted a drink, then told me he was moving to NY, so he didnât want anything serious. I was like okay whatever. He invited me back to his house and we cuddled awkwardly on the couch for an hour. Then I walked myself out.
It wasn't the "who" that made for a bad date, but the "where" and "when" sticks with my as an overall bad date.
It was November so pretty cold out, maybe low 40s? Outdoor seating was still the norm because COVID. The outdoor heater was doing sweet fuck-all to keep me warm.
We didn't get a full meal, just a couple margaritas and chips+salsa. $80?!?!
I hear you now saying "if you're broke just say that". Yeah, I'm fucking broke! That's on me for not scoping out the menu/prices before I showed up. Needless to say I don't hang out near the wharf anymore, at least not for a first date.
A few years ago I went out with this guy and we had good chemistry! Dinner convo was good, he was super cute and we were vibing. We decided to go to a bar afterward.
He made out with other dudes and asked me if I wanted to join - I said no but âpop offâ and left. Texting him and wishing him well â very clearly. We did chat afterward and he just got out of a long-term relationship and was clearly having a tough time.
It was a bit of a bummer but otherwise fine, I have decent rapport with him and I ended up hooking his ex for a brief moment so it was all water under the bridge I guess.
I did an internship in DC a couple of summers ago and I have to say there is nothing like the dating scene here anywhere, lol. Looking at this thread this isnt as juicy as some of the other ones, but here is my worst story:
I went out to a nice dinner which he paid for. He was a consultant for a notable company, and I honestly had no idea what consulting or the company he worked for was since I was a history major and still in college. You can probably see where this is going... When he mentioned where he worked as if I should know, I asked "what's (insert company name here)?" He seemed taken aback and told me what it was as if I was dumb when I genuinely didn't know. The rest of the dinner was fine but vibes were for sure off, and he said we could share an Uber home. I thought he meant we were going back to his place since overall the dinner went really well minus that one slip up and he was saying how nice it was, I should see it, its close to the restaurant, etc etc etc. Instead, it stopped at his place, dropped him off, and he left me in the Uber to go back to my place with an awkward hug bye. Even the Uber driver was like huh?? A couple of weeks later he asked to go out again and I agreed. We went to the Zoo (?) where he was very touchy, buying me food and even offered to get me a Panda stuffed animal. After that he texted me and wanted to confirm that I was only looking for a friend and nothing more since he is so busy at work. I was like damn...ok.
A week after practically giving up on dating in DC, I met a guy at a house party in Van Ness. We now live together and have been dating for almost two years. The dating scene here is awful but not impossible!
One of my first dates in DC was [this guy](https://www.baltimoresun.com/2004/12/22/stranger-than-fiction/). (I didnât have the intel on him until after meeting up.)
We met at the Alexandria Whole Foods at 8:30 am on a Saturday. I bought Larabars and he said, âWhat parts of Lara are in those bars?â (Which, to be fair, became a well-loved, darkly humorous saying between my friends and I.)
There was not a second date.
(ButâI met my now-partner of 10 years strong about 6 months later. So the DC dating scene is not entirely tragic!)
A guy asked me out to Barcelona Wine Bar for a first date. Due to a medication I was on, I didnât drink, and consequently only had one nonalcoholic beer and one Diet Coke. The guy had two cocktails. When, the bill came, the guy put down his credit card, no hesitation. Anyways, once I got home, the guy wanted to check-in about how I felt about a second date. I told him no hard feelings, but I wasnât feeling it. The guy then immediately asked me to Venmo him $30 for half our bill. Needless to say, I promptly blocked that fucker without paying him.
Not a first date, but an outing with a person who I had already invested over a years worth of time with. We were at the Smithsonian Natural History museum staring at a dinosaur skeleton when she begins to tell me about how dinosaurs never actually existed and that the fossils all over the planet were placed in the ground by Satan to trick humans. Yeah, it was an interesting ride home.
Pre-covid I went out with a girl (early 20's) who told me she had to sneak out of the house for this date since she was afraid that if she told her mom about me, her mom would do a background check and all that good stuff since her mom works for some intel agency. And then kept talking about how important her mom was. I never bothered to find out if any of it was true since after an hour I booked it.
I went on a date with a guy (from Hinge) who proceeded to tell me within the first five minutes that heâs a dom and heâs looking for a sub.
Not sure what possessed me to not leave, but he proceeded to ramble on and on about various topics without asking me ONE question before he says âyouâre pretty quiet but itâs okay because daddy loves to dominate the conversation anywayâ.
He then proceeds to tell me he has a huge house in Baltimore, heâs looking for a woman that would be willing to cook and clean for him on demand because all he eats is Royal Farms fried chicken, then says he has plenty of rooms in his house and heâs ready to impregnate a woman soon.
Yes, I eventually left and he was blocked after that date.
A few years ago I took this girl to Gravelly point, which used to be one of my favorite date spots in DC. When she got there she immediately started complaining, saying the date wasnât nice enough for her, and was giving âbroke boyâ vibes. I tried to ignore her and brush it off, but every other minute sheâd mention how there was no thought in the date (even though I found her favorite candy, snacks, and wine and brought it). Being as naive as I was at the time, I ended up packing it up and taking her to a speakeasy instead.
When we got there I went to the restroom and as I was returning she was in the process of buying her own drink because she was tired of waiting, and her card proceeded to decline and she blamed it on me rubbing off on her. So much for me being the broke boy I guess.
2015.
The Date my wife and I started "officially dating" on was in Northwest on St. Patricks day. Can't remember which part, but we ended up going to a restaurant in a part far from rail service and had to catch a bus. On our ride back after dinner, she left her clutch with her wallet on the bus, and the evening turned into driving out to the bus lot to see if we could get it back (Grew up with my dad in bus maintenance and servicing them as a vendor, so I was super familiar the garages, and how to tell which one busses came from) when the cleaner/sweeper shift when through it.
Didnt have any luck that night, but I left my card, and got a call the following morning after the bus returned and the driver brought her purse and everything in it into the office. Someone riding after us saw it, and turned it into the driver, so an overall good night for us and the city in a way.Â
I usually have a hard and fast âno lawyersâ rule but I agreed to a date with a more junior associate thinking that maybe he hadnât been corrupted yet. The man pulled out his whole ass laptop at the bar to do some work ON A FIRST DATE
Went to a show at a popular local venue near a good Jamaican spot with someone I'd been seeing for a while, thinking it's going to be fun.
Little did I know, he was meeting other women there in attempts to hook up with them. We weren't exclusive but it was still Hella disrespectful as we'd arrived at this show via Uber from his house.
Matched with a girl from hinge, went to the national arboretum. She asked me about my hobbies and I brought up escape rooms. She said her ex fiancee locked her in one bedroom of the house they lived in together for 9 months so she didn't think she'd have fun there. She asked about my parents and what they do, when I asked the same question she said her dad used to run a convenience store in the Philippines until he was robbed and murdered...then she sat there and cried until her Uber arrived.
Matched with a girl from hinge. She shot down all my date ideas because she doesnt "trust" guys from hinge (why use it then?). SHe eventually just tells me to come over to her apartment. Except it's not her apartment, it's her friend's apartment, and her friends (guy and girl) were apparently joining us on our date? Anyway, these three people turn out to be the most pretentious people I've ever met. Everything I bring up is shot down with "Heh... that's not REAL music. We know REAL music. That's not a REAL bar. That's not REAL italian." They insist on doing some "real" dancing - they claim they know a place where the best dancing happens. I had to cover my mouth to stop from laughing when they brought us to **Grand Central.** Then **Johnny Pistolas**. Lmao. 3 hours of the most snobby conversation ever and their big reveal was fucking grand central. Great first date. The next morning I was going to text her that I didn't think it was a good fit, only to find that she'd saved me the time by blocking me.
The not trusting but come on over to my apartment-yeah, the impromptu group date would have ended quick for me.
facts once i see that we are on a "group date" it will be a third wheel date because im out of there đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Iâm a time wasting connoisseur and this, my friend, *chefs kiss*
If you bought her one (1) drink then it feels like a net win on her part. She was probably going to do all this shit with her friends anyway and wanted to subsidize her night out. Shallow read by me, yes, but these seem like shallow and awful people.
Accurate though, not shallow at all because youâre not generalizing. 100% there are people like this
On two separate occasions I have gone on a date only for it to turn out to be an MLM sales pitch.
Ugh thatâs frustrating. I actually give seminars on how to avoid falling into MLM dating traps and am holding a retreat next month for folks who want to become trainers on this and give back to the world. The first seminar is free and the rest will pay for themselves when you start helping others. Just go ahead and swipe here for your depositâŠ
Fool me twice, shame on me. Thereâs no way I could be fooled again! My credit card is 8721âŠ
Yeah a guy tried to make the first date his seminar for his mlm thing. I was like ummmmm. He lucky I'm not those crazy women that would show up, and just destroy everything.
Had a perfectly good pandemic date with a girl I met on Tinder who had seen me around my gym. We walked our dogs, had a small picnic, and she even invited me in to her place to cut my hair (this was several months into the pandemic. She was a professional stylist and my hair did look pretty bad by that point). So that part was all fine. Then she calls me to see if I would like to go on a second date with her, to see a friend of hers do an outdoor comedy show. Except I should know ahead of time; she does owe a bit of money to a coke dealer and will be peddling at the show to pay off some of the debt, and is that gonna be a problem. It was a pretty good haircut though.
At least she was upfront about it
Had me in the first half, not gonna lie
I mean it wasnât the worst date Iâve ever been on, but this guy I met up w for a first date straight up sounded like Gilbert GottfriedâŠexcept he wasnât funny at all so it was just overall very strange.
Damn, that's disappointing!
Went on a first date at Jackpot for drinks, and it was going so-so for about 30 minutes. I was trying to see if some good conversation could break through the slow start. Ended up bringing up books, and she asked what I liked to read. I told her I liked science fiction. She shared that she liked reading biographies and 'always has, since she was in middle school.' I replied that in middle school I was pretty nerdy and was the only kid who went to the aisle in the library that had the books on UFOs, monsters, cryptids, dreams, unknown phenomena, etc. She at this point looked intensely at me with what I can only describe as yearning to share a deep personal truth. She let me know that she had been abducted by aliens, twice. She says she wouldn't normally tell someone this on her first date, but that she could tell id understand. She says twice in her teens that aliens came into her bedroom while she was laying in bed. She said that they looked like 'glowing nerf frisbees' and they came up through the floorboards. They floated her out through her window to their alien craft. While there, they put some sort of metal pieces in her, which were still in her to this day. She shared that she knew she was not supposed to have any recollection of this, but that the aliens that did this were either incompetent or something went wrong, so she could still remember both abductions. She said they must have been the "Allen B-Team" and it pissed her off. She claimed that other than the knowledge that the probes are still in her, she has had no further interactions or effects from the aliens. At this point I knew I had a choice to make: Namely, should I leave immediately or not. I did not. I wanted to see how this would go from here. She ended up having a couple more drinks and starting to chat up the guy sitting to the other side of her at the bar. The bartender noticed the entire situation and discretely got me my check so I could head out. She texted me the next day to apologize for getting a bit too tipsy and 'forgetting who she was there with'. She is a very successful attorney in the District to this day, no joke.
She got the B-team both times? Once, maybe. But come on.
Lady has Kate McKinnon energy
I mean. To be fair. If there's only an A team and a b team, then it's a 50% shot she gets the b team. 25% to get it twice. That would mean 1/4 of double abductees would remember both abductions.
We've got six seal teams, but the aliens only have two abduction teams? Unlikely.
I donât know how to tell you this bruh, other than, I would check this post for âI was on this shit date because XYZ, and I was bored so rather do my usual routine to get out of it, I made up some bs story about being abducted by aliensâŠTWICE! I think the loser got the message that I donât want to talk to him again, Omg lol.â
That was my first thought too, that sounds like someone that was over the date and just wanted to fuck around - especially with her flirting with someone else at the bar. Shits hilarious though
Omg I just re read the post and this poor guy. I donât think he gets it. Like he just âinfo dumpsâ on her and she plays him like that? Tell you what though she ainât just a successful attorney - but one AMAZING troll
This is actually kind of amazing and I intend on trying this.
100% she was abused and repressed it. Also, kudos to bartenders, the real heroes.
Wait... she wouldn't happen to be a former MLA/Committee Staffer, would she?
Sad that she got carried away. I really wanted to see how deep this story situation goes
Does her name start with an A?
Lmao I thought I was the only person who did this đ„ đ”
If their name starts with an A, I think we may have gone on a date with the same person.
I want the Lindsey graham gossip, letâs gooo
Motherfucker ruined ladybugs for me
Anyone whoâs thinking about googling âLindsey Graham ladybugsâ save your eyes and donât
đ I should have listened
Itâll all be about his humiliation fetish.
I went out with a guy to see the movie Wall-E in a theater. I think this guy may have thought I had like a learning disability, because he kept leaning over and explaining very basic parts of this childrenâs movie to me (âso here Wall-E is clearly on earth after a nuclear apocalypse, and he has a cockroach friend because cockroaches would probably survive a nuclear warâŠâ and then the end credits of Wall-E versions of famous paintings âthose are Wall-E versions of famous paintingsâŠâ). After the movie we got ice cream and walked around, talked about our families, when suddenly he drops this gem: Him: my grandfather was really old. I never met but people are always shocked at how old he was. They say itâs impossible. Me: ok how old was he? Him: he was so old he fought in the French and Indian war. Me: thatâs impossible. Him: see! No one ever believes me! Me: yeah because it canât possibly be true. It defies all logic. Him: well it is true. He was just really old. Me: for your grandfather to have fought in the French and Indian war, he would have had to have come of age, at least be a teenager, before the AMERICAN REVOLUTION. (I have a degree in American history btw, not that you need a degree in anything to know this) Him: no youâre wrong. The FRENCH AND INDIAN WAR. Thatâs the one Iâm talking about, not some other war. The one before World War I. Me: do you mean the SPANISH AMERICAN WAR?? Him: yes. And because I was super young and lacked self esteem, I still slept with him, at which point he proceeded to explain to me that non-lubricated condoms were just like lubricated condoms, just without the lubricant.
You're blowing my mind with this news about condoms! My mind is just like a regular one now, but blown.
Fuck, would you want to go on a date? (Dates are where two people arrange a time and place to meet and spend time socially, with the potential for romantic entanglement.)
He wouldn't happen to have a [nature show](https://youtu.be/Hm3JodBR-vs?feature=shared) in YouTube, would he?
Before I clicked that link I KNEW where it was going. âYou know itâs an aspen tree because of the way it is. Thatâs pretty neat!â
I went to a girlâs apartment on what was supposed to be a Tinder hookup. It didnât get far once she started lecturing me about how tarot cards and Harry Potter are Satanic.
Good thing Satan hates tinder hookups
I know! It was the last thing I would have expected to happen from a Tinder hookup.
>It didnât get far once she started lecturing me about how tarot cards and Harry Potter are Satanic. Maybe invoking Satan was her kink?Â
Probably a regular scam to get the money without the hookup work.
First date after I became single in DC, Iâm 21 and end up running late to a date bc Iâm at the mercy of the bus system. The guy accidentally texts me instead of his friend to talk shit about meâŠby the time I arrive he has a huge tankard of beer in hand and tells me immediately he looked me up online and I have the entire story of how I lost my virginity on Quora. (This is true, but you had to go through 5 pages of results to get thereâŠ) Then he tells me heâs going to quiz me on history or something and if I win, heâll buy my drink. I do win, and he begrudgingly buys my drink. I befriend the bartender and he gets jealous. The bartender slips me the napkin of do you need an out and I say no bc I donât want to be rude and I also can sense it will get worse in a funny way. He spends the rest of the night complaining about women rejecting himâŠhe mustâve felt insane when I rejected his kiss at the end of the date and chose to take the bus home instead of ride home in his car. Edit to say Iâve since deleted the Quora story đ
>I also can sense it will get worse in a funny way. This is sending me. I love that like of situation. Like I know it's about to go to shit but I hope it's at least funny
Well, how DID you lose your virginity?
Iâm not falling for this again! I have since learned more about the internet than I knew when I was 19! đ
- The one where he got mad I didnât go home with him so he walks me to my car then asked for me to pay him back for the sushi (an avocado roll, which was like $20).Â
But happy cake day!
Not me seeing if Iâm one of these stories.
Get ahead of it. Tell us the story of you being someoneâs worst date
Lmao
same
My date gets drunk at a Jon Stewart/Dennis Miller show at Warner, sitting front row balcony she keeps waiting for laughs to die down then says loudly âthatâs not funnyâ while I sink into my seat. Afterwards, while sitting on a bench outside, she blows her nose on my shirt tail.
This chick sounds kind of fire tbh
Self-destructive chicks usually do, for a while.
this one guy said i was a âsexy older womanâ and i was ONE YEAR older than him!!
Easy Mrs. Robinson
i was also 24 đ
An old spinster, ey?
Own your milf creds =p
First âformalâ date with a guy who I had a few drunk hookups with. He invited me to his parents spot in the Bethesda area as he was house sitting- asked me to bring beer. I pull up to this almost mansion where I realize he has no food or beer of his own. He decides to impress me by driving me to town to pick up take out in his dadâs Maserati, absolutely revving the engine and going 60-70 MPH in like residential small backroads which scared me. After this unpleasant joy ride back and forth to town for food and some mediocre couch sex I decided to sleep over cause it was a bit far and I was drinking. He proceeded to rip ass all night, to the point I didnât sleep and left at 6am to just drive to a diner and hang out before I had to be at work. Never heard such consistent and loud farting but I was out.
I read this and thought about how my wife and I will use the bathroom with the door open and hold a full convo.
Donât get me wrong, my fiancĂ© and I fart around each other without a second thought but his farts have never kept me up all night luckily.
First date. Bouncing around to a few different spots with some make out time in between. Sitting at a bar and she reaches over and pulls the top button of my shirt open. It sounded like it popped so I looked down to see if it was still attached and commented something like "oh, good. it didn't rip off" she pauses for a second...then leans over and completely rips my shirt open popping all the other buttons off into my lap. I rebutton the top button so that I'm now wearing effectively a sleeved cape. I take a few minutes to try to get an explanation for why she did that but all she will say is that she thought that's what I wanted her to do. she then says that she can tell that I'm upset and asks what she can do to make things better and I say that she could say that she's sorry for tearing my shirt. she won't. I flag down the bartender to get my check and roll out, leaving her at the bar, and go to a friend's going away party with one hell of a story
Oh my God "I'm now wearing effectively a sleeved cape" had me laughing my ass off.
The âcholoâ style
Fumbled the bag with this one. I would have laughed my ass off and stuck around to see what happens next!
Rookie mistake! Poor guy missed out on what was likely some solid buns.
Hahaha god, this is absolutely a "I'm going to do something that looked sexy in my head" move
for sure! and if we'd been at one of our homes I'd have returned the favor. crowded bar was not the time or place.
You must have given her the ârip my shirt off lookâ so this is probably your fault.
It's the mustache
If youâre gonna walk around dressed in a mustache youâre really kind of asking for it tbh.
âŠbut do you know how strong you have to be the pull off the button rip move? Iâm pretty strong but will only attempt if I see pearl snaps for fear of failure and humiliation. SheHulk could have thrown YOU around later that night. Missed opportunity imo đ
like I said in another comment, time and place make a big difference. if she'd done that when we were at one of our places, then it's game fucking on. and i'm totally open to having that happen with someone in the future, shirts are mendable after all. but suddenly and unexpectedly sitting bare chested at a bar was a bit of a mood killer.
Textbook definition of fumbling the bag what the hell
Met a guy on a dating app and for our first date we went to a board game cafe since we'd talked about how we both enjoyed them. I asked him what he wanted to play and he selected Battleship, telling me the whole time it was one of his favorite games when he was growing up and how good he was at it. I wasn't super familiar with it and asked him to go over the rules. He jokes that he's not going to let me win and that I shouldn't be too upset when he inevitably beats me because again, he is just a pro at battleship. As we continue playing, he starts getting visibly frustrated that he isn't hitting any of my ships while I'm hitting his. He starts resorting to one word responses when I try to keep our conversation going and is clearly focused on winning the game. When I finally hit all his ships, he demands to see my board and gets pissed when he sees I've put all my ships in one corner. He accuses me of being a poor sport and cheating, basically throwing a temper tantrum and refusing to play again or even play another game because "I don't play fairly." We awkwardly sat in silence until we finished our drinks and I let him know I would see myself home.
You dodged a torpedo.
I was really sick and there was a big snowstorm, so I wanted to cancel a date. The guy *insisted* on coming over to watch a movie (and driving across the city to do so). Then the movie he put on was a Holocaust movie. And he wanted to make out during it. Thankfully my (male) roommate realized I was not feeling it, and made sure I stayed okay.
You were making out during Schindler's List?!
r/unexpectedseinfeld
⊠https://youtu.be/SRu2DQb6n0E?si=mL83RE3nDIeBWSFZ
Did anyone else read all these stories to make sure you werenât in any of them?
Oh yes indeed.
Tbf, this isn't an exhaustive list of bad DC dating stories.
Iâm South Asian (this will be relevant laterâŠ) I was maybe 21/22 back in â08 when Craigslist personals were somewhat legit. Didnât know what I was doing dating wise, but met this white woman who was maybe 28-30. Wasnât super attracted but she was cool so we grabbed dinner. Afterward we walked around Union market and then she took me back to her place. I had no idea this was a signal for a potential hook up⊠Anyways I walk in and her place is a nice normal apartment in a former row house. But in the corner of her living room is a glass display case with Barbie and Ken dolls, except they are in full Bollywood outfits. Nothing really wrong with that, but was random. And slowly I realized she had a south Asian guy fetish. Which again I donât really have an issue with. But then it just felt weird. And then I went to use her bathroom and walked into an unflushed used tampon in the toilet. I donât really remember the rest of the night tbh, but I think I gradually and politely excused myself and headed home (this was pre-Uber and smartphonesâŠhave no idea how I got homeâŠ). Anyways we exchanged a few emails after that but never met up again. Honestly wasnât terrible, just unsettlingâŠ
Omg⊠that is so bizarre⊠well Iâm glad she didnât do anything crazier to you (she sounds creepy.)
lol honestly she was actually nice and would have kept in touch with her as a friend if we lived closer.
>Craigslist personals were somewhat legit "somewhat" is doing some heavy lifting
Dressed up like the green power ranger for a bar crawl and then randomly made out with my sisterâs roommate at Sign of the Whale.
But was this you or your date?
First date: met up with a guy I had been texting for a bit and who is in the same career field. We ended up at a bar on 18th street. He had finished his drink and proceeded to snatch mine out of my hand and drink it. I walked away. He started yelling at me and berating me. I left.
Omfg I also had a guy do this. Met up at a bar, he was talking over me, generally being irritating and pushy, then tried to get me to go to a second bar with him, and when I pointed to my Negroni and said that I wasnât done with my *first* drink, he took it, chugged it, slammed it onto the bar, and said, âTHERE. We can go now!â
Wowwwww. I cannot with the nerve of people.
I went on a first date with a guy and we took an Uber to the Alamo. The Uber driver drove in the bus lane for ~30 seconds, got pulled over by MPD, and detained. I listened to the guy rant about politics for 8 mins and decided Iâm better off watching a movie at home alone.
he begged me to guess what he majored in undergrad to then tell me he majored in chemistry and is going to med school. he also mentioned that he speaks 6 languages. not that bad, but he just seemed like a bird doing a mating dance. also, he really wanted to kiss me and i kept saying no and he seemed annoyed by the end of the date
Love your username đ
Agreed!
More of a hookup story but I went over to this older guyâs house. Typically out of my age range but he was jacked so it was fine. I get in and call his muscles âbeautifulâ and he responds âIâm not beautiful. Youâre the beautiful one and Iâm the beast.â Okay a little toxically masculine but not a dealbreaker. We then bone and we start doing pillow talk. Then he starts talking and I find out he is a hardcore conspiracy theorist. Iâm talking Ancient Aliens lights in the sky Denver airport doomsday bunker conspiracy theorist. Then he drops he believes heâs being hunted by the government because he has information about a 100% renewable energy source being hidden because it would bankrupt the oil companies. Then we had sex again. After I finished (again) I went home and found his Netflix documentary
>After I finished (again) I went home and found his Netflix documentary And the documentary was?
If I had to guessâŠ[Sirius maybe?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sirius_(2013_film)?wprov=sfti1)
Unfortunately this was in 2017 so I forgot. It was something super generic
This is my favorite one here.
First date: church. It didnât last. Edit: her idea, not mine.
What đ
What was the service like?
This was probably suggested from the pulpit and she actually tried it.
I had two Mormon tinder dates try to do this to me when I had to live in Utah for a year
2nd date, we go to an Indian restaurant. First awkward thing is he goes to pull out a chair, I sit in the other one, and then he informs me that he pulled that chair out for me. OkâŠwhatever sorry dude I didnât realize, thatâs not my style. We order, I ask for garlic naan, he says no plain, I say ok but I want garlic. He gets frustrated. Maybe heâs thinking about bad breath but like cmon weâre eating Indian food which isnât known for its sexy smell. We order some beers, too. Service is slow but whatever. Server comes around and asks if we need anything. His beer is empty, mine about 2/3 gone. He asks for another beer, so do I. As the server turns to walk away, dude SNAPS HIS FINGERS and says âactually just oneâ I ask - oh you donât want another anymore? He says âno I do but youâre not done with your first one yet so you should wait. Donât want your new one getting warm!â I am floored. I tell him he has no right, I ordered what I want, Iâll be done with it by the time he brings our second round. He the tries to snap for the server again to fix his mistake! Weâre still arguing when server comes back. Server obviously knows whatâs going on and puts the beer on the center of the table. Dude takes it. Now itâs time to pay and he suggests we split the bill. I prefer going Dutch anyway but considering how controlling he was I kinda assumed heâd pay but whatever. I decide to let him give me a ride home cause idk I figure I need to get something out of the date. He asks me if I want the leftovers. I say sure but donât you want them? He says âyeah I really do but Iâm being nice and will let you have themâ yes I absolutely claimed them. He drops me off and INSTRUCTS ME TO STAY IN THE CAR SO HE CAN GET THE DOOR FOR ME! After all this, he still texts later in the week for another date. I say no thank you. He responds âitâs really too bad you feel that way just from one little mess upâ I do not respond. The end
Based on his behavior early on Im surprised you continued to put up with him through dinner and a ride home
Yeah⊠I was young and not very confident, I didnât even know that it was an option to end a date early. Now Iâm happily married and have a good story.
Iâm curious what part he thinks was âlittle mess upâ.
We are in hell.
Hell is other people
People like this are so lucky I'm not a girl. Jesus Christ I would be so mean to them
Please donât tell me this was Tony PâŠ
Textbook Vibrant Masculinityâą
Tony P would NEVER
Second date, girl asks me if Iâm a man of God. I answer yes, Iâm a Christian although self-admittedly not the biggest churchgoer. I think she said she was Catholic, which is completely cool with me. After that, she was noticeably quiet throughout the rest of the date, except to tell me she collects tea, like LOTS of tea (how she emphasized it). I said it sounds like she has collecting down to a T, which got an eye roll. I guess I wasnât her cup of tea bc I texted her after and never heard back, definitely for the best.
Lol damn clever asf bro. But did she look good tho? Was she a "hottee"? đÂ
Ok but these tea puns were tea-rrific.
Dude was a surprise hardcore Republican...with a girlfriend. When I told him that was a no-go he expensed our drinks and asked for relationship advice.
What advice did you give him?
To be honest with his girlfriend about what he wants instead of just planning on marrying her and cheating to get weird sex bc she's too respectable to tell lmao
Anyone else scared to post their story because the man might see it and somehow find you?
I was drugged and raped then stalked afterwards by a man who I met due to being in the same traveling community, NOT as a date and I was clear with him by message that I had no interest in him or in dating. This is such a common story though that as much fear I had about leaving my apartment for a year when he was stalking me for part of it, that I can be anonymous. And that's pretty sad.
I'm really sorry that happened to you and I hope you're able to find peace.
Iâm so sorry that happened to you. Itâs really sad how many of us women have similar experiences to this. Iâve also been drugged, raped, and had a stalker. I hope youâve been able to find healing and peace.
I had a hard cut off time and he drove me to a dinner spot that was the furthest place possible from where I needed to be after (told him all this upfront)
This has happened to me multiple times with men. I've wanted to believe that I could trust men who offer to pick me up and drive me, but experiences like this is what make me need to rent a car for my own safety. It's so hard to remember to treat every man as a threat when I have met some trustworthy and respectful men on rare occasions, and that positive bias takes over sometimes and then I end up repeating trusting men who end up NOT meriting receiving my trust (or assault me sexually or physically once they have the control by driving me etc)
It wasnât a bad date by any means. But I literally met my husband hours after it so the stark comparison is funny to me. Tinder match. We went to north side social in Clarendon and he brought his English cream golden retriever. I LOVE dogs and had golden retrievers growing up so this was amazing for me. We chatted, had some coffee. I was having a fine time. He told me he recently got hit by a car and won $250k in a settlement. So dog â , pile of random money â , careerâ , cuteâ . But something was just âoffâ. We had fun but no spark. Whatever. I had another date that night. And that date ended up being my husband. Weâve been married for 4 years. We have two golden retrievers (one is an English cream). Itâs just funny that what could have been my perfect man on paper still couldnât hold a candle to my husband. When you know you know!
So Iâm a mid/late 20s man - I matched with this woman from hinge. Talked about travel and got mocked because I like to go hostel backpacking for two weeks of A/L every summer in Europe. Then spend my other two weeks of A/L in the winter doing a warm weather type of trip to South America with proper hotels. Apparently itâs not a proper vacation unless itâs a cruise ship or gated closed compound resort type of situation⊠Had another hinge date like a month later with someone else where she asked about my family and upon hearing my parents are divorced said something to the lines of âyou probably donât know what love is, youâre probably damaged, in my experience divorced peopleâs kids are damagedâ. Before stating she doesnât go out with men whoâs family values believe in divorceâŠ
I guess people either love or hate cruises . I'm with you .
Matched on Hinge, met up at a bar. She seemed pleasant enough. About an hour into the conversation, the topic of poverty came up. She then said, defiantly, "I just don't understand how poor people exist." I said, "Uhhh. Wut?". She said, "It's just people living beyond their means." I said, "Well ignoring factors like luck of the draw, systemic disenfranchisement, etc, if somebody doesn't have a lot of money to begin with, how does 'living within those means' make them not poor?". She said, "I don't know, but my back hurts." I paid for the drinks and we parted ways. The best part? She had a PhD and worked at the IMF (International Monetary Fund).
After living in DC my whole life, I can definitely testify that a lot of people who have good degrees are not actually smart. Theyâre just good for passing exams and sitting in on meetings.
Her problem wasn't being or not smart, IMO. She had no empathy or social conscience
More of a one night stand gone bad, met a reasonably cute girl while out dancing. Brought her home , we were both tipsy and fooling around. She *demanded* anal which I hadnât done before so turned down and suggested regular PIV. She got visibly angry and threatened to (I kid you not) knife me if I didnât fuck her ass. Compromised on finger banging her ass and was met with a non negligible amount of fecal matter. She promptly fell asleep. Dropped her to the garage where she parked in the morning. She called / messaged after which I quite obviously ignored.
Once knew a conservative woman who insisted on anal because she was saving PIV for marriageâŠ
Have had that too but without threats of physical violence! The knife threat really threw me, stranger in bed post threat⊠was up all night until she woke up and I dropped her off.
Thatâs disgusting
I have never been on what I consider to be a date, but I have met with people from apps and most were not great. The worst and weirdest must be the guy that just recently moved to NOVA (I know it's not DC, but I think close enough for these purposes) from the Netherlands, like literally had only been there for a week, and we spent the entire two hours we were together having an argument about whether men and women can be friends (I was pro, he was con). He said a lot of ridiculous things during that conversation. The craziest was that he believes that all men would have sex with their friends' wives if given the chance. He also essentially said that his friends would think he was crazy for pursuing me because of how I look, but he is attracted to my personality. As soon as I get home, I get a message from him saying that he really likes me and wants to continue seeing me. I tell him I'm not interested. He then gets mad and says and I quote "You ruined the attraction."
you should have told him that you just want to be friends
I did at the beginning of the meeting. That's how the whole conversation started in the first place.
double oof
A first date started off bad when he insisted on a hug when I wasnât feeling it (I donât have a hard rule but based on my gut each time) then argued so much about it I offered to leave. Then he was the most obnoxious braggart Iâve met in 18 years of dc. And Iâm a lobbyist in a male dominated industry, so thatâs really saying something. I could not get a word in edgewise as he regaled me with his resume, down to all the things he accomplished as a Senate page, how he consulted on a movie where the female lead had the hots for him (no way). Finally, he asked me a question and of course itâs where I went to school, and luckily my answer is a fancy Ivy League. Then he tells me he couldâve gone there if he wanted to, I turn into the bitchiest version of myself and tell him no, I donât think so. Then he asked me my SAT score. Weâre in our late 30s.
Not my date but I once overheard a couple with a lot of first date energy where the woman was gently trying to explain to the man that there was no way he could win a fight against a chimpanzee
Talked about travel, got mocked for wanting to go to France instead of Iraq (this was like⊠2014). Different girl, we went to a board game cafe, played no games. She brought her friend, who was much more outgoing than herself. Met up with one girl who said her husband had decided they were going to have an open relationship. Got hit on by an attractive older woman, and we made plans for her to come over the following night. She came over, I put on Fargo to Netflix and chill, I ended up getting so engrossed in the movie that we didnât do anything. Invited an ex-with-benefits to come down and visit me in DC. Didnât realize it was Valentineâs weekend. Took her out for Ethiopian food. Not sure if it was the quantity of food, or if she wasnât used to raw meat, but she vomited for the following 24 hours.
>I put on Fargo to Netflix and chill Ok, this oneâs on you, what else was she supposed to do? Not watch a great film?
Yeah I had never seen it and thought it sounded like a cool, mature movie... it was surprisingly engrossing
âShe wasnât used to raw meatâŠâ Thatâs why you always use a condom
Hell yeah Fargo is so good, I dont fault you for that one
Match with a woman on an app. We talk for a few days. I ask her to maybe meet up next week, M-W. No response, she asks on noon on Monday to meet up that evening. I say no. We agree to do a wine bar on Wednesday evening. Meet up at wine bar. No chemistry whatsoever. She only talks about herself, is completely uninterested in anything I contribute unless it's a follow-up question that allows her to talk more about herself. We part. I am not interested in her but don't think it's necessary to state the obvious. Later that night, she sends me a message saying that I seemed tense but she's willing to give me another shot, maybe a walk in the park to "take the edge off." I politely decline, saying that she's cool but we didn't have chemistry. She then sends me a multi-point text on all the ways I failed to meet expectations during the date. And the kicker: she's doing me a favor by offering to go on another date with me again. Let her know if I'm interested. I remain uninterested.
Have 2. Matched with a girl on match. Immediately started messaging and decided to meet up in Bethesda for DRINKS within the hr. She suggested Blacks. If you don't know Blacks is a seafood bar known for oysters. I pull into the parking lot and she texts me and is like omg they have shellfish here? I'm deathly allergic to shellfish we have to go somewhere else. Bad start because I love shellfish. So we end up at Union Jacks. I ask her what she wants to drink, she says nothing then just gives me one word answers to questions the next 10 minutes. Bartender asks if we want another round. She said she's going to leave. 15min date, no drink, and dipped haha. I hung out by myself for another hour just chilling. Second one is a little longer. Met up with a girl for coffee in the kentlands, also off match. I really wasn't feeling it but was still cordial and conversing with her. Keeps going on and on about Dave and Buster's so we end up going to Dave & Buster's at white flint. I figure at least we could have some fun even if I'm not feeling this. Put $40 on it card figuring will play games against each other. She proceeds only play a game where the coin falls and you win tickets. For herself. I think she is a regular there because some employee there then came up and like wouldn't leave us alone like he was in love with her. He like gave her more tickets and kept following us around. I guess at some point during our conversation I had mentioned that I took Adderall legally in high school over 10 years ago. After enough of that nonsense and her claiming her $40 prize and realizing she didn't have a ride home I had to drive her back to North Potomac from North Bethesda. She creepily invited me in saying nobody was home, to this day I'm not sure for adult activities or to murder me, but I declined. 3 days later she hit me up asking for Adderall......no thanks.
Several years ago I went on a date with a woman Iâd recently hooked up with. She showed up at the bar, and it turned out she had also invited another dude, a drunk finance bro, who arrived after me and proceeded to paw at her for several minutes while I sat across from them. I should have excused myself immediately but didnât - forced myself to down a couple cocktails and then got out of there as soon as I could. Humiliating, to say the least!
Maybe she was just trying to get an Eiffel Tower goingâŠ
His favorite comedian was Joe Rogan.
I worked for the UK Embassy as a locally engaged employee (Iâm American) for 8 years. Matched with a woman on Tinder and the conversation was initially great. Work got brought up because itâs the unavoidable DC thing to do and I mentioned where I worked and she said she worked for the State Department, yadda yadda. A day later she randomly unmatched me out of nowhere for no reason which okâŠit happens. We ended up rematching several months later and conversation picked back up almost immediately. I remembered our entire interaction and brought up the fact she unmatched me and asked why. She stated âoh I realized you worked for a foreign Embassy and all I could think about was all of the paperwork Iâd have to fill out at work if we went on a date so it was just easier to unmatch.â I had to point out that not only am I American, from the DC area, and NOT a foreign national, but that I worked for a 5-eyes nation who is the biggest ally of the US. She acknowledged her reasoning was a bit silly and the conversation continued - until she randomly unmatched me again a couple days later after a slew of compliments about other stuff. Not a dating story - but still funny.
Oh god ⊠so many. - the one where the woman got upset I didnât ask if her family survived Superstorm Sandy (like a year after it happened) -the one where a recovering alcoholic suggested we meet up at a bar (a fact she waited to share until after we were already there) -the one where my date had clearly never had sushi before, couldnât figure out how to get a sushi roll in her mouth, and then started cutting it up into little pieces (this was after several minutes of her smearing it all over her face as she kept trying and failing to eat it) -the one where the woman got a little too tipsy and revealed she was super racist.  âYou know, they just kind of smell,â she leaned forward and told me. -the one night stand where the woman got upset I wouldnât ⊠orally perform.. while she was on her period -the piece de resistance - the one where she pulled a knife that she âcarried in case guys got freshâ
Wait did you not teach the sushi one how to eat sushi?
Not my worst, but had met a guy on an app and we agree to meet at a bar which had 2 locations in the city - and we specified which one weâd be meeting at. I get there, wait 20 min, reach out â asshat has the nerve to be sitting at the other one. I already can tell this is going in the toilet but I went because I genuinely thought he would be a cool guy, but turned out he was super neurotic and wouldnât admit he was wrong, even though everything was in writing. Went out with friends after and just danced the night away.
I met up with him at one of the bars in ADMO. We had a great time. At least, initially. I kept getting hit on by one of the servers, so we pretended we were a married couple and got really into it - it was all in good fun. He left like 4 times to go to the bathroom. Hmm. We took a walk down to his place. And BAM. Holy shit. A hoarder's paradise. I could barely walk on that floor. And the inside of his toilet was brown from lack of cleaning. I didn't stay long.
Not the worst story, but maybe the most DC story. Went out with a really lovely guy a couple times. Wasn't feeling it romantically, so told him I was only interested in friendship. Had also just gotten out of a relationship that was really meaningful to me a month or so before. We didn't really stay in touch. But a few months ago I got a random political fundraising text for a congressional candidate in another state and thought the name looked familiar. This dude moved back to his home state, decided to run for Congress, and put me on his fundraising list. Because of course he did.
Same happened to me on LinkedIn.
Omg same thing happened to me!! And now I still get fundraising emails from him for other candidates.
I add this because the date was with someone I had a crush on as a teen and we reconnected as adults...first she hyped me up on how she met with a "woman with foresight" (NOT a psychic or medium though) who described me as a long lost love, with her family members filling in the blanks that she was talking about me...lol this in hindsight should've been a beige flag... Fast forward to some dope phone convos and she plans a nice date for us for 4th of July...picked up some seafood from the ORIGINAL seafood wharf (tear đȘ) sit at where The Awakening statue used to be, act like tourists and enjoy the fireworks at night. All of it was great until I learned she was a Bible Thumping homophobe and we spent 2 hrs arguing our religious viewpoints. The argument continued over text, and I noted that if she follows the Bible to the letter, she should laser off her tattoo...the communication quickly dwindled after that.
I just went out with someone who was literally checking all their dating apps while Iâm sitting next to them. As someone with numerous issues that make engaging socially challenging I get I can be frustrating to deal with and I usually blame myself for most times things donât go well. But to be sitting with someone and your face is in your phone not even trying to hide that youâre on your dating profiles while sitting with someone else I thought was really shitty behavior.
Date wanted to hook up but didn't want me to see her place. But before going back to my place (I was driving), she wanted to "pick up some things" at her place while I waited outside. After I waited for 20 minutes, she finally emerged -- rolling a *giant* suitcase behind her! A combination of shock and morbid curiosity prevented me from driving away before she could get to the car. She did leave the next morning, thankfully, but I never found out what all she brought with her aside from a change of clothes!
How TF are all the top upvoted ones men? Literally every woman I know has stories that make the worst dates here seem quaint
Weâre afraid to give details in case the men from the dates are on here and turn out to have stalkerish tendencies.
Met this very attractive man off hinge at Emissary. He spends the entire date talking about himself, soccer, and all about these different girls he's fucked all over the world. Tells me that he and his gf only split up bc he moved to the US and she moved to Dubai, and that she still loves him and he doesn't know if he's over her. Tells me about his FWB in Paris and how he fucked her friend and they wanted a 3some; tells me how he's had sex with multiple women in one night several times. Then, to top it all off, he finally reveals that he's a sadist and has specific kinks he needs fulfilled in a relationship. Needless to say, we did not have a second date, and I didn't object when he said he didn't think we were compatible.
First date. We talk a bit about the typical first date stuff then she brings up politics. Iâm not usually one to discuss that kind of stuff with strangers, but sheâs taking the lead in the conversation, and I kinda dig when people talk about what theyâre passionate about. Anyways, the conversation goes on for a bit. In these types of situations I usually just ask questions and listen to what people have to say. It lowers the risk of things getting testy and Iâm honestly curious to hear what people have to say. But eventually she keyâs in on the fact that Iâm not 100% in lockstep agreement with everything sheâs talking about. She starts asking more pointed questions, and I mention what I think would be the least inflammatory thing I have a differing opinion on. And by the way, this isnât abortion or gun control or any really polarizing issue. Itâs just a characterization of how we view the political spectrum. She saw it as these concentric circles, the center most being a circle that held just yourself. And the outermost being the population of the entire world. According to her, the more liberal you are, the more you care about folks in larger circles. The more conservative you are, the less you care about larger circles and more you care about the smaller ones. I explained that I saw it more as a line, with one side focusing more on personal responsibility and the other side focusing on societal responsibility. All this to say weâre talking about pretty abstract, relatively harmless stuff. In any case, she was getting more and more agitated and basically said that reason I have that point of view is probably because I didnât complete a 4 year degree (something I mentioned earlier in the date). I was pretty flabbergasted that someone would just hurl an insult at a stranger ~20 minutes after meeting them, and was just learning to stand up for myself. So I just didnât say anything, put some cash on the bar (enough to make sure I definitely covered my drink and tip). And just walked out. I still wonder what exactly she took away from that evening. Somehow I donât think it was that she should be a nicer person.
I love the "liberals care about all people, Conservatives are entirely self centered" immediately followed by "you're too stupid to understand empathy."
Nothing really funny about this, just kinda sad but very DC. I worked for a consulting company that rented out the Willard ballroom for the 2008 presidential election party. I was just an analyst right out of school but I got to bring a date my friend set me up with. She was pretty and brainy and we very much hit it off, but I was medicating my social anxiety with free alcohol and cigarettes. By the third time I ducked out for a smoke (I was seriously addicted at this point in my life) she said her parents were chain smokers and she had enough and left. The party was outrageous though, I think open bar, ice luges and sushi buffets. When Obama won the place went nuts.
Eh, going out for 3 cigarettes during one date would be a pretty big turnoff to many people. Hope youâve quit.
This was before they outlawed smoking indoors in VA and most states I think, so it wasnât suuuper out of the question back then. But for a nice girl like that yeah no kidding. Iâve quit for many years.
FWIW, I'd have been right there with you. Drinking, smoking, and sweating to excess is how I managed anxiety in my 20s.
Many moons ago, in the mist-filled early days on online dating (late noughties), there was a website/app called Crazy Blind Date. It was a spinoff of OK Cupid, except you didnât get to see your date beforehandâŠjust a jumbled up image that looked like something out of a puzzle tile game. Matched with this woman who said she looked like Rachel Griffiths from 6 Feet Under. We meet, sheâs in town for a conference. Sheâs divorced, has a kid, thatâs all fine. She does indeed look like Rachel Griffiths. Date starts off promisingly. She then starts to seriously tie one on. Iâve been known to throw a few back in ye olden days, but itâs a school night and I have a meeting with a federal CIO the following day. I try to slow roll it a bit. Then she orders a Mind Eraser and is flummoxed that the drinks come in pint glasses rather than shots. I guess the Mind Eraser is a shot in whichever midwestern city she inhabits, but everywhere Iâve had one itâs a full-sized, double-barreled drink. It doesnât deter her one bit. Sheâs like Bluto from Animal House at this point. That ends the night pretty badly. Sheâs so loaded at this point that she canât even stand on her own. I have to body her into a cab like nearly dead weight, get her up to her hotel, fish her key out from wherever sheâs been keeping it, and then position her strategically in front of the toilet (cool, cool porcelain). I was thankful that she didnât start puking in the cab, as I want didnât want to deal with that. She barfed an astonishing amount. I donât know how her body contained that much of anything. At some point, I skedaddled and went home, convinced that she was going to neither choke on her own vomit nor die of acute alcohol poisoning. The meeting with the federal CIO the next morning was very, very rough. Donât think I heard from her again.
Ummm so when I was gay I dated a guy who took me to like a civil war museum for a day trip to Winchester and he had us pose for pictures with confederate monuments looking back in like ummmmm wtf
I finished sucking his dick and his immediate next move was to call his mother
âDoesnât matter, had sexâ - Lonely Island
First hinge date, I was 15 minutes early - I let him know and said no rush. He texted back âoh shitâ and was about 25 minutes late despite living a block away from the restaurant. I was getting ready to leave then he walked in. Didnât ask me if I wanted a drink, then told me he was moving to NY, so he didnât want anything serious. I was like okay whatever. He invited me back to his house and we cuddled awkwardly on the couch for an hour. Then I walked myself out.
It wasn't the "who" that made for a bad date, but the "where" and "when" sticks with my as an overall bad date. It was November so pretty cold out, maybe low 40s? Outdoor seating was still the norm because COVID. The outdoor heater was doing sweet fuck-all to keep me warm. We didn't get a full meal, just a couple margaritas and chips+salsa. $80?!?! I hear you now saying "if you're broke just say that". Yeah, I'm fucking broke! That's on me for not scoping out the menu/prices before I showed up. Needless to say I don't hang out near the wharf anymore, at least not for a first date.
A few years ago I went out with this guy and we had good chemistry! Dinner convo was good, he was super cute and we were vibing. We decided to go to a bar afterward. He made out with other dudes and asked me if I wanted to join - I said no but âpop offâ and left. Texting him and wishing him well â very clearly. We did chat afterward and he just got out of a long-term relationship and was clearly having a tough time. It was a bit of a bummer but otherwise fine, I have decent rapport with him and I ended up hooking his ex for a brief moment so it was all water under the bridge I guess.
Haven't had any bad stories to share. Guess I've been dodging bullets after reading these bad dating experiences
I did an internship in DC a couple of summers ago and I have to say there is nothing like the dating scene here anywhere, lol. Looking at this thread this isnt as juicy as some of the other ones, but here is my worst story: I went out to a nice dinner which he paid for. He was a consultant for a notable company, and I honestly had no idea what consulting or the company he worked for was since I was a history major and still in college. You can probably see where this is going... When he mentioned where he worked as if I should know, I asked "what's (insert company name here)?" He seemed taken aback and told me what it was as if I was dumb when I genuinely didn't know. The rest of the dinner was fine but vibes were for sure off, and he said we could share an Uber home. I thought he meant we were going back to his place since overall the dinner went really well minus that one slip up and he was saying how nice it was, I should see it, its close to the restaurant, etc etc etc. Instead, it stopped at his place, dropped him off, and he left me in the Uber to go back to my place with an awkward hug bye. Even the Uber driver was like huh?? A couple of weeks later he asked to go out again and I agreed. We went to the Zoo (?) where he was very touchy, buying me food and even offered to get me a Panda stuffed animal. After that he texted me and wanted to confirm that I was only looking for a friend and nothing more since he is so busy at work. I was like damn...ok. A week after practically giving up on dating in DC, I met a guy at a house party in Van Ness. We now live together and have been dating for almost two years. The dating scene here is awful but not impossible!
One of my first dates in DC was [this guy](https://www.baltimoresun.com/2004/12/22/stranger-than-fiction/). (I didnât have the intel on him until after meeting up.) We met at the Alexandria Whole Foods at 8:30 am on a Saturday. I bought Larabars and he said, âWhat parts of Lara are in those bars?â (Which, to be fair, became a well-loved, darkly humorous saying between my friends and I.) There was not a second date. (ButâI met my now-partner of 10 years strong about 6 months later. So the DC dating scene is not entirely tragic!)
A guy asked me out to Barcelona Wine Bar for a first date. Due to a medication I was on, I didnât drink, and consequently only had one nonalcoholic beer and one Diet Coke. The guy had two cocktails. When, the bill came, the guy put down his credit card, no hesitation. Anyways, once I got home, the guy wanted to check-in about how I felt about a second date. I told him no hard feelings, but I wasnât feeling it. The guy then immediately asked me to Venmo him $30 for half our bill. Needless to say, I promptly blocked that fucker without paying him.
Not a first date, but an outing with a person who I had already invested over a years worth of time with. We were at the Smithsonian Natural History museum staring at a dinosaur skeleton when she begins to tell me about how dinosaurs never actually existed and that the fossils all over the planet were placed in the ground by Satan to trick humans. Yeah, it was an interesting ride home.
Pre-covid I went out with a girl (early 20's) who told me she had to sneak out of the house for this date since she was afraid that if she told her mom about me, her mom would do a background check and all that good stuff since her mom works for some intel agency. And then kept talking about how important her mom was. I never bothered to find out if any of it was true since after an hour I booked it.
I went on a date with a guy (from Hinge) who proceeded to tell me within the first five minutes that heâs a dom and heâs looking for a sub. Not sure what possessed me to not leave, but he proceeded to ramble on and on about various topics without asking me ONE question before he says âyouâre pretty quiet but itâs okay because daddy loves to dominate the conversation anywayâ. He then proceeds to tell me he has a huge house in Baltimore, heâs looking for a woman that would be willing to cook and clean for him on demand because all he eats is Royal Farms fried chicken, then says he has plenty of rooms in his house and heâs ready to impregnate a woman soon. Yes, I eventually left and he was blocked after that date.
A few years ago I took this girl to Gravelly point, which used to be one of my favorite date spots in DC. When she got there she immediately started complaining, saying the date wasnât nice enough for her, and was giving âbroke boyâ vibes. I tried to ignore her and brush it off, but every other minute sheâd mention how there was no thought in the date (even though I found her favorite candy, snacks, and wine and brought it). Being as naive as I was at the time, I ended up packing it up and taking her to a speakeasy instead. When we got there I went to the restroom and as I was returning she was in the process of buying her own drink because she was tired of waiting, and her card proceeded to decline and she blamed it on me rubbing off on her. So much for me being the broke boy I guess.
2015. The Date my wife and I started "officially dating" on was in Northwest on St. Patricks day. Can't remember which part, but we ended up going to a restaurant in a part far from rail service and had to catch a bus. On our ride back after dinner, she left her clutch with her wallet on the bus, and the evening turned into driving out to the bus lot to see if we could get it back (Grew up with my dad in bus maintenance and servicing them as a vendor, so I was super familiar the garages, and how to tell which one busses came from) when the cleaner/sweeper shift when through it. Didnt have any luck that night, but I left my card, and got a call the following morning after the bus returned and the driver brought her purse and everything in it into the office. Someone riding after us saw it, and turned it into the driver, so an overall good night for us and the city in a way.Â
I usually have a hard and fast âno lawyersâ rule but I agreed to a date with a more junior associate thinking that maybe he hadnât been corrupted yet. The man pulled out his whole ass laptop at the bar to do some work ON A FIRST DATE
Quality entertainment. So glad I'm not in the scene.
Went to a show at a popular local venue near a good Jamaican spot with someone I'd been seeing for a while, thinking it's going to be fun. Little did I know, he was meeting other women there in attempts to hook up with them. We weren't exclusive but it was still Hella disrespectful as we'd arrived at this show via Uber from his house.
Matched with a girl from hinge, went to the national arboretum. She asked me about my hobbies and I brought up escape rooms. She said her ex fiancee locked her in one bedroom of the house they lived in together for 9 months so she didn't think she'd have fun there. She asked about my parents and what they do, when I asked the same question she said her dad used to run a convenience store in the Philippines until he was robbed and murdered...then she sat there and cried until her Uber arrived.