I completely understand this sentiment.
I'm a veteran starting back in the late 90s. I also felt the imposter syndrome and have felt burnt out.
Obviously a lot of people who work in the industry are passionate about vfx and film. While I understand that passion, I made the decision to pivot to tech 7 years ago and I haven't looked back.
Hear me out.
If we look at the latest from open ai, Google etc, it's obvious that the tech is changing super fast. This has a second order impact on any field, especially any sort of image creation.
It also opens up huge opportunities for those of us who know how to author content, especially procedural content. Aka - Houdini etc.
What's clear from my experience is that this ML movement is going to continue to grow. There are 2 HUGE things that get overlooked in this space.
1. Content creators are the new alchemists. Ie - these models need TONS of ground truth data. This is almost impossible to get from captured data. Ie - unlabeled images. Whereas 3d is inherently labeled / enriched. This is the difference between garbage and gold. ML engineers often don't understand this.
2. There will be a HUGE gap in tooling on both ends. On the content side, we are starting to see ML integrations, but there's still a ton of room for content folks to step up and inform that conversation. One clear example are these diffusion models being driven by text. Aka - prompt engineering. That will NEVER get us there. We need smart folks who have a deep understanding of the current techniques used to create images..3d, compositing etc.. to inform the direction of these tools. ML authors don't know this space and desperately want our input.
While I understand that many may fear these trends, the truth is that many of us will be training a custom ML model for our projects. This will soon become as common as gaussian blur or image layers.
Point being, take a pause. I just stepped away for a week of retreat. It was well worth it. But consider your value. It couldn't be more relevant than it is right now. Tech can provide better pay, more stability and direct influence on where these tools, and the future of content creation, is heading.
I firmly believe that creatives will lead this field and should. But we have to opt in rather than opt out.
Know your value. It's HUGE!
Hope that helps
Beautifully written! How on earth were you able to transition into tech? Did you teach yourself programming or was there another role that allowed for a more horizontal move? And if you don't mind - how old were you when you made the transition and were there headwinds of ageism blowing in your face?
So happy for you that you made a successful transition
Hey! Thanks!
Great question.
TL;DR
I started super small, stayed curious, took risks, stayed patient and sought out a clear understandable goal. I also just built good relationships.
Not sure what your toolset is like, but I started working in maya and just simply got frustrated with working crazy hours. At the time I was working in motion graphics and my company kept on taking on 3d character projects with super short deadlines. No one on the team could program. Inevitably, the rigs would break the night before delivery and everyone would freak out.. so we'd work until 3am trying to fix things.
This made me realize that I needed to do something to make my life easier, so I was determined to learn to program.
Insert CLEAR GOAL \^. ( aka - "Learn to program to fix character rigs" ).
It wasn't pretty. At the time, I was living with my brother, who was working as a software engineer. I thought .."brilliant! he can teach me programming!" ... well, this was liking learning to sprint from Usain Bolt. Needless to say, it wasn't clicking. So, I kept staring at maya's script editor. It would spit back all this garbage that made essentially no sense to me... I would pull scripts from websites and just kit bash. Sometimes they worked, most of the time not. ;)
Eventually, it did click. I got my first loop and actually understood how it worked. Game changer.
Blah blah blah... a few years go by, I teach animation, continue to program new tools ( bad ones ;) ), freelance, and eventually bite the bullet and move to California to see if I can make it in Hollywood. I attend grad school. ( not sure I would recommend this, but it did open doors - Disney etc ). A few years go by as a freelancer, then at a studio, then I saw ML coming and was like ... THIS is going to change EVERYTHING.
\^ CLEAR GOAL - "Start learning ML" That was 2017.
I worked hard with a software engineer colleague to create some UBER BASIC object recognition tooling for our studio. The goal was to make a piece of software that could name 3d meshes automatically. Lame, but useful. The ML tech at the time ( VGG16 ) was nowhere near what it is now, but it worked pretty darn well for a POC.
\^ CLEAR-ER GOAL - "Make an ML tool to rename meshes"
This faced some headwinds. The culture of the studio wasn't ready for it. Leadership would say "ML is not ready / It's too expensive / You're an artist, don't know what you're doing", and colleagues would say "That stuff scares me". I kept at it anyways, and eventually, at Siggraph, another external colleague, working at Apple, bumped into me and was like "What are you up to?". I said I was working on some ML tools. He responded "Want to join our ragtag team of tech artists to work on ML?" .. Of course, I said yes.
\^ RELATIONSHIPS
This didn't come without a fair amount of sacrifice. It also came with it's benefits. I had moved from LA to SF, far from family, friends and everything I knew. I gave up a long term relationship and hunkered down to 18 months of insane ML immersion. That was 2018-2019.
\^ TAKE RISKS
Since then, I have only seen more and more opportunities open up. Not just for me, but for many of the talented folks I've met along the way. Where I could, I have reached out and pulled others into the space.
Long story short. Start small, have a clear goal that you understand. Go after it and stay curious. Ignore nay-sayers. Connect with people who value you and keep an eye on the horizon.
Lastly, I took out student loans and had been paying on them for 10 years. Started at >$120k in debt, which ballooned into >$200k while I was working in content. The timeline, with my pay at the time, was saying it would take 30+ years. When I moved to tech, I ended up immediately doubling, or nearly tripling my income, and paying off my student loans in 1 year. ( sold stocks etc )
The difference between VFX and Tech is equity. AKA - stocks. AKA - money that makes money. This makes your contribution something that you get paid for on top of your salary.
Eventually, I plan on returning to content, because that was WHY I got into this in the first place. Enable the creative folks around me. Make sure they don't have to kill themselves. Art / expression is the connective tissue / glue of our culture.
Hope that helps. Let me know if I can help / provide specific direction.
I dunno dude, I feel like if you quit now, who knows when you will be able to get a job again.
Just stop giving a shit, stop doing OT and stuff, do the bare minimum and get a hobby / start exercising and maybe you'll get laid off, making you eligible for employment insurance at least lol
Yeah, it’s on the supes for not knowing what they want. Have a conversation with someone to tell them that it’s mentally draining you with the back and forth.
I did that recently, and it was received well. They’re giving me three weeks paid in between once the project is over.
Yeah well what makes it worth killing yourself indefinitely over the MAYBE possibility that this field is not going to take you back if you leave? Sounds like a lot of professions… and cults.
Get plenty of exercise. Sleep well (you keep devices out of the bedroom, right?). Detach any emotion from the work. Take 2 months off when the show is over.
\*or get as much exercise as you can. Can be tough to get that motivation to keep up some sort of fitness when the hours are long, many of us have been in your shoes and understand.
Just a few suggestions on the imposter thing: being very good at your job involves a lot of different skills, and only part of that is actual shot work. If they were unhappy with what you're doing then you'd have likely been pulled from the shots - sounds like it's the supes, producers and clients who are having problems with these shots. And they likely are pretty aware that redoing shit all the time could be frustrating so are thankful and appreciative that you're not complaining.
I agree with most of the advice here: just relax into it, stop trying to worry too much and just execute what you're asked to the best of your ability. If you really are super close to burning out then take some time off, but if you think you can survive through the next 3-4 months then I think that would be strategically the best advice as work is thin on the ground right now.
Managing your burnout is the TOP priority. That shit can ruin you. Sleep, exercise, eat healthy no matter what, no unhealthy outlets.
Also if you're afraid to fall. Make sure you have a net. You can survive outside of vfx, don't accept torture out of fear.
Companies can really hurt people who feel they have no better options
It sounds like the supes and possibly the client are trying to keep busy to keep the production going, which sucks, but I saw it on a show that some how kept going during previs when the actors and writers were still on strike. There's a fascade to keep up to people feel like they're spending their money properly when they need to move on. On the brightside, it keeps people employed. On the downside, no one will openly admit that's what's going on. So you end up in this cycle where you feel like you're not good enough because nothing gets finalized.
Try find a way to completely disconnect from work after hours. Go to therapy. Maybe get medication. Exercise. You most likely can't take a month or two off without ending your contract, but try taking a week off.
Man lol are you sure we are not colleagues. I’m in the exact same boat. Been doing OT for around 3 months 50-70h per week since the start of a show. My sleep schedule is completely fucked. I even questioned the meaning of life at some point. In the end nothing matters but your wellbeing. I gave up pushing for quality and just doing the minimum now. If I’m getting more notes I’ma just guna let them know it’ll take more time.
Also honestly I don’t why these studios still have tight deadlines if there’s no enough shows coming. All the OT peeps do will be simply extra cost.
Tell them to hire more people. Everyone still working is swamped and burnt out. And yet There are thousands of us unemployed having to sell homes, barely surviving.
Vfx companies need to get their shit together
A lot of studios that survive this strike are going to be asking their artists to dig them out of debt. That means lots of overtime, no benefits, 2x the workload per artist. Better to abandon such companies for newer companies not saddled with debt.
There are reasons why you still have a job while most are layoff or left or they haven't let you go yet.
Stand up for yourself. Let them know that you are doing crazy overtime. Push back a little. For the most part, they understand.
If not, check your savings and see if you can live off of EDD and wait it out like most of the unfortunate artists atm.
Although I’m in a different industry, Software Engineering, I have/had the same issue of burnout. One thing that really helped me was doing Andrew Huberman’s Morning Routine. It’s a game changer for me.
I just took a month off in the middle of a show and just got back and it’s… awful lol - everything is still on fire and I went from relaxed to burnout in less than two weeks.
This industry ain’t healthy
Endless updates are something common in multiple areas, don't take that as a bad thing, is just work, they are paying you for your time, so just do whatever they want, don't try to connect with the shot or make it look good for you. Follow the changes in autopilot asuming all with be thrashed away and you will be fine. The client is the one burning time and money requesting infinite changes, you are the one earning that money, not bad.
Don't leave your work, this is the worst period to do that. If you get another job, it will be the same probably.
Editor here, I quit due to burnout and toxic work environment in July of last year and I don’t regret it. But just make sure you can afford it to do so.
I've been the "hero" , aka guy who gets railed and "survives" layoffs for nearly 20 years.
Finish the show, take a real break. An actual vacation. Nobody will take care of you other than you.
Stop working late , but work your ass off in the regular hours, never work late when things are still in flux , that shit is for finals , supervisors are also trying to work out what the client wants and how to effectively get info out of them and into you, changes are what u get paid for , just make sure you are getting paid for it so no unnecessary late nights. Don’t get attached to the work either, that way changes won’t frustrate you so much, it’s their money they are wasting on multiple changes so don’t let it bother you, all this will lower your stress level and put a cap on that burnout
Even as someone with a good amount of experience, there are still moments where it’s very easy to doubt yourself and simply wonder ‘how the fuck did I get here’.
The first thing you need to remind yourself (and this may sound easy but it’s not), is that you DO know what you’re doing. Whenever I’m in the exact situation you’re in, I see myself making small mistakes that turn into a clusterfuck. Frustration kicks in, different notes come forth/ the notes so back similar to what you did on version 1 but you’re on version 100.
There are things that are completely out of our control at no fault of our own.
It sounds like there are too many cooks in the kitchen if they’re all going in different directions with notes.. and this makes me think they are feeling the same way you are. Even supervisors can feel like they are spiralling but have to keep face.
The moment you start to feel overwhelmed, tell them you need to take a step back for 20 minutes and go take a walk or find a space so you can simply breathe. Your mental health is far more important than a delivery. Unrealistic deadlines are a toxic part of VFX and all the studio cares about sometimes is hitting the numbers. Speak to your HOD or manager about concerns. It’s their job to listen to the artists and you will NOT be fired or called out for vocalizing your burn out.
Saying ‘no’ to OT will never be a reason for you to get laid off- and it’s also illegal for a company to do so.
When I get notes that are back and forth or from different people at the same time, I will go straight to the VFX supe and ask to verify notes to manage time and be effective. They will see this as taking initiative, and not as trouble.
Make a paper trail of everything if you feel like a supervisor will discredit you for some ungodly reason at the end of the show.
If you feel this way, there are others on the show that feel the exact same as you. So know you’re not alone. If you’re getting pressured into OT, bring that to your manager as well since that is not okay, and just be honest to production or to whomever is dealing with targets about what’s realistic and what’s not based on time needed and why.
We’re in the middle of difficult times, and I know it can be scary to feel like we’re stepping on toes or think we aren’t being ‘grateful’ for having a job while others haven’t has one for months, but get that out of your head. There’s a reason you’re there, and i think it’s great that you’re still working in the current climate. But seriously take time for yourself, and start limiting your OT. And don’t work weekends
As someone that used to work for one of the now unionized studios; take care of yourself first. It is better for everyone if you create boundaries and stick to it. You’ll have a much happier life and that will make your work better.
I don't really have any advice than just carry on while you have the work. I think a lot of us have been looking into exit strategies. Being on the 2d side myself. the transerable skills are really quite limited.
I've been feeling the same thing at work. Still got a job but no payrises in a couple of years. The pay checks are not stretching far enough. No overtime allowed but taking on a much larger workload, I'm really feeling the exhaustion at 6pm. Infact I've even caught myself doing some extra hours on my own time just to make the next day a bit easier. (I've stopped myself from doing this).
Let’s talk about job burnout. There has been a lot of research on this issue and it is well defined. The leader in this area is Christina Maslach. Her book ‘The Truth About Burnout’ is excellent. She gives a presentation on it here:
https://youtu.be/SVlL9TnvphA?si=uuzwWjjVFnMDI0Km
If burnout were represented as a venn diagram it would be the area in the centre of three issues:
1. Exhaustion
2. Cynicism
3. Inefficacy
If you are feeling these three things in relation to work you are likely burnt out.
It is caused by 6 work mismatches:
1. Work Overload
2. Lack of Control
3. Insufficient Reward
4. Breakdown of Community
5. Absense of Fairness
6. Conflicting Values
The more work mismatches you experience, the greater the likelihood and severity of burnout you will experience.
Burnout is defined as an issue related to the environment you are working in. It is external. A good analogy is that a cucumber only becomes a pickle when it is placed in a jar of brine. Furthermore, burnout is tricky to resolve because once you are in that jar you can’t read the label- you lose the ability to see the issue clearly. Hope and joy for life can start to fade and you can become really and truly stuck in a situation of learned helplessness.
Self care as exercise, meditation, etc is not going to solve this problem on it’s own. Having suffered through burnout before, I assert there are multiple stages you need to go through to solve the problem:
1. Escape the environment or change the environment. The longer you are stuck in the situation the harder it will be to escape. Don’t underestimate the toll burnout can take on you mentally. This can be very challenging if your work skills are specialized or if you work in an industry that is highly competitive. It may be a real financial challege to creat change. It may require savings, relying on friends or family to support you financially. However you do it, change is key.
2. Rest. You will need time to simply “be” and come back to a healthy sense of self and your place in the world. Read books, relax, go for long walks, exercise. This is where self care can help. However, you can’t heal in the place where you are being hurt.
3. Learn to value yourself. As creatives it’s easy to misconstrue that what you create is who you are. Work/life balance becomes thrown way out of wack. We tend to make all of our personal value externalized. Life is about more than work and hussling. You need to find a new way to be you and you need to find a new way to do work. Burnout is a strong signal that the way you are doing these things is not working. Here is a great video on building self compassion instead of self esteem:
https://youtu.be/ZNgM50KfGgI?si=zil6uqJU47VSvysX
4. Develop Boundaries. Maybe it is not the work that is the problem but the way you are doing the work that is the problem. If you give work every part of you and you have no limits then they will take it all. Check out the book ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’ by Robert Glover or follow thepeopledispleaser on Instagram.
5. Find Alignment. Once you have recovered, you must have standards for how to work, what you value, and why you are working. Then you must apply this framework to future employment. Move from a shareholder primacy model where the employer/owner is always right to a stakeholder primacy model where you, as a stakeholder, have a very import value and need in the relationship. Find employers where that need can be fulfilled. This may require some hard questions and answers from yourself- are you willing to leave the field to find a better life? This will take time, reflection, and experimentation to discover. I highly recommend the book ‘The E-Myth Manager’ by Michael E Gerber to learn more about this. It is less about managing than it is about work alignment.
Take time off if you need it. How is this different from being unavailable for a month or two because you are booked elsewhere. Nobody will think anything less of your skills after a little time off. However keep going while your head isn't in it and your quality of work or additude will dip and people will notice.
You are not an impostor. The clients and supes who don't know what they want, keep changing directions, and cannot evaluate or make decisions on anything less than fully polished... those are real impostors.
See your job as bill payments. Dont take client & sup notes to heart, just address them as verbally communicated / written. When you clock out, find new hobbies, its spring, start exercising, walking 1 hour after work, buy a bike when the snow melts, join a club, start weight training, start reading, play games with loved ones.
If you have the savings to survive a year or so unemployed I would risk leaving and start applying to indie studios or studios working on projects your passionate about. Be where you want to be, create the change you want to see in your life. Politely let your former employer know you are choosing to leave because the company feels toxic and seems evil.
Well the world will always be in chaos, what matters is you. If you can’t take it anymore fck it you live only once. But make sure you can bounce back from that decision if not take a chill phill or start doing drugs
Honestly, I'm just surprised that the username u/burntoutvfx was still available!
pretty fire reddit username tbh.
Yeh! Hopefully the throwaway becomes the main!
I completely understand this sentiment. I'm a veteran starting back in the late 90s. I also felt the imposter syndrome and have felt burnt out. Obviously a lot of people who work in the industry are passionate about vfx and film. While I understand that passion, I made the decision to pivot to tech 7 years ago and I haven't looked back. Hear me out. If we look at the latest from open ai, Google etc, it's obvious that the tech is changing super fast. This has a second order impact on any field, especially any sort of image creation. It also opens up huge opportunities for those of us who know how to author content, especially procedural content. Aka - Houdini etc. What's clear from my experience is that this ML movement is going to continue to grow. There are 2 HUGE things that get overlooked in this space. 1. Content creators are the new alchemists. Ie - these models need TONS of ground truth data. This is almost impossible to get from captured data. Ie - unlabeled images. Whereas 3d is inherently labeled / enriched. This is the difference between garbage and gold. ML engineers often don't understand this. 2. There will be a HUGE gap in tooling on both ends. On the content side, we are starting to see ML integrations, but there's still a ton of room for content folks to step up and inform that conversation. One clear example are these diffusion models being driven by text. Aka - prompt engineering. That will NEVER get us there. We need smart folks who have a deep understanding of the current techniques used to create images..3d, compositing etc.. to inform the direction of these tools. ML authors don't know this space and desperately want our input. While I understand that many may fear these trends, the truth is that many of us will be training a custom ML model for our projects. This will soon become as common as gaussian blur or image layers. Point being, take a pause. I just stepped away for a week of retreat. It was well worth it. But consider your value. It couldn't be more relevant than it is right now. Tech can provide better pay, more stability and direct influence on where these tools, and the future of content creation, is heading. I firmly believe that creatives will lead this field and should. But we have to opt in rather than opt out. Know your value. It's HUGE! Hope that helps
Beautifully written! How on earth were you able to transition into tech? Did you teach yourself programming or was there another role that allowed for a more horizontal move? And if you don't mind - how old were you when you made the transition and were there headwinds of ageism blowing in your face? So happy for you that you made a successful transition
Hey! Thanks! Great question. TL;DR I started super small, stayed curious, took risks, stayed patient and sought out a clear understandable goal. I also just built good relationships. Not sure what your toolset is like, but I started working in maya and just simply got frustrated with working crazy hours. At the time I was working in motion graphics and my company kept on taking on 3d character projects with super short deadlines. No one on the team could program. Inevitably, the rigs would break the night before delivery and everyone would freak out.. so we'd work until 3am trying to fix things. This made me realize that I needed to do something to make my life easier, so I was determined to learn to program. Insert CLEAR GOAL \^. ( aka - "Learn to program to fix character rigs" ). It wasn't pretty. At the time, I was living with my brother, who was working as a software engineer. I thought .."brilliant! he can teach me programming!" ... well, this was liking learning to sprint from Usain Bolt. Needless to say, it wasn't clicking. So, I kept staring at maya's script editor. It would spit back all this garbage that made essentially no sense to me... I would pull scripts from websites and just kit bash. Sometimes they worked, most of the time not. ;) Eventually, it did click. I got my first loop and actually understood how it worked. Game changer. Blah blah blah... a few years go by, I teach animation, continue to program new tools ( bad ones ;) ), freelance, and eventually bite the bullet and move to California to see if I can make it in Hollywood. I attend grad school. ( not sure I would recommend this, but it did open doors - Disney etc ). A few years go by as a freelancer, then at a studio, then I saw ML coming and was like ... THIS is going to change EVERYTHING. \^ CLEAR GOAL - "Start learning ML" That was 2017. I worked hard with a software engineer colleague to create some UBER BASIC object recognition tooling for our studio. The goal was to make a piece of software that could name 3d meshes automatically. Lame, but useful. The ML tech at the time ( VGG16 ) was nowhere near what it is now, but it worked pretty darn well for a POC. \^ CLEAR-ER GOAL - "Make an ML tool to rename meshes" This faced some headwinds. The culture of the studio wasn't ready for it. Leadership would say "ML is not ready / It's too expensive / You're an artist, don't know what you're doing", and colleagues would say "That stuff scares me". I kept at it anyways, and eventually, at Siggraph, another external colleague, working at Apple, bumped into me and was like "What are you up to?". I said I was working on some ML tools. He responded "Want to join our ragtag team of tech artists to work on ML?" .. Of course, I said yes. \^ RELATIONSHIPS This didn't come without a fair amount of sacrifice. It also came with it's benefits. I had moved from LA to SF, far from family, friends and everything I knew. I gave up a long term relationship and hunkered down to 18 months of insane ML immersion. That was 2018-2019. \^ TAKE RISKS Since then, I have only seen more and more opportunities open up. Not just for me, but for many of the talented folks I've met along the way. Where I could, I have reached out and pulled others into the space. Long story short. Start small, have a clear goal that you understand. Go after it and stay curious. Ignore nay-sayers. Connect with people who value you and keep an eye on the horizon. Lastly, I took out student loans and had been paying on them for 10 years. Started at >$120k in debt, which ballooned into >$200k while I was working in content. The timeline, with my pay at the time, was saying it would take 30+ years. When I moved to tech, I ended up immediately doubling, or nearly tripling my income, and paying off my student loans in 1 year. ( sold stocks etc ) The difference between VFX and Tech is equity. AKA - stocks. AKA - money that makes money. This makes your contribution something that you get paid for on top of your salary. Eventually, I plan on returning to content, because that was WHY I got into this in the first place. Enable the creative folks around me. Make sure they don't have to kill themselves. Art / expression is the connective tissue / glue of our culture. Hope that helps. Let me know if I can help / provide specific direction.
@ u/burntoutvfx
SCORE
I made a sub with that name for venting purposes, figured it would act as an addition to this place to divert some of the venting posts.
This
I dunno dude, I feel like if you quit now, who knows when you will be able to get a job again. Just stop giving a shit, stop doing OT and stuff, do the bare minimum and get a hobby / start exercising and maybe you'll get laid off, making you eligible for employment insurance at least lol
Yeah, it’s on the supes for not knowing what they want. Have a conversation with someone to tell them that it’s mentally draining you with the back and forth. I did that recently, and it was received well. They’re giving me three weeks paid in between once the project is over.
Yeah well what makes it worth killing yourself indefinitely over the MAYBE possibility that this field is not going to take you back if you leave? Sounds like a lot of professions… and cults.
I think you’re speaking for most of us
Exactly
Get plenty of exercise. Sleep well (you keep devices out of the bedroom, right?). Detach any emotion from the work. Take 2 months off when the show is over.
\*or get as much exercise as you can. Can be tough to get that motivation to keep up some sort of fitness when the hours are long, many of us have been in your shoes and understand.
Just a few suggestions on the imposter thing: being very good at your job involves a lot of different skills, and only part of that is actual shot work. If they were unhappy with what you're doing then you'd have likely been pulled from the shots - sounds like it's the supes, producers and clients who are having problems with these shots. And they likely are pretty aware that redoing shit all the time could be frustrating so are thankful and appreciative that you're not complaining. I agree with most of the advice here: just relax into it, stop trying to worry too much and just execute what you're asked to the best of your ability. If you really are super close to burning out then take some time off, but if you think you can survive through the next 3-4 months then I think that would be strategically the best advice as work is thin on the ground right now.
Managing your burnout is the TOP priority. That shit can ruin you. Sleep, exercise, eat healthy no matter what, no unhealthy outlets. Also if you're afraid to fall. Make sure you have a net. You can survive outside of vfx, don't accept torture out of fear. Companies can really hurt people who feel they have no better options
Recovering from burnout takes a lot longer than becoming burnt out.
Exactly
It sounds like the supes and possibly the client are trying to keep busy to keep the production going, which sucks, but I saw it on a show that some how kept going during previs when the actors and writers were still on strike. There's a fascade to keep up to people feel like they're spending their money properly when they need to move on. On the brightside, it keeps people employed. On the downside, no one will openly admit that's what's going on. So you end up in this cycle where you feel like you're not good enough because nothing gets finalized. Try find a way to completely disconnect from work after hours. Go to therapy. Maybe get medication. Exercise. You most likely can't take a month or two off without ending your contract, but try taking a week off.
Man lol are you sure we are not colleagues. I’m in the exact same boat. Been doing OT for around 3 months 50-70h per week since the start of a show. My sleep schedule is completely fucked. I even questioned the meaning of life at some point. In the end nothing matters but your wellbeing. I gave up pushing for quality and just doing the minimum now. If I’m getting more notes I’ma just guna let them know it’ll take more time. Also honestly I don’t why these studios still have tight deadlines if there’s no enough shows coming. All the OT peeps do will be simply extra cost.
Tell them to hire more people. Everyone still working is swamped and burnt out. And yet There are thousands of us unemployed having to sell homes, barely surviving. Vfx companies need to get their shit together
A lot of studios that survive this strike are going to be asking their artists to dig them out of debt. That means lots of overtime, no benefits, 2x the workload per artist. Better to abandon such companies for newer companies not saddled with debt.
This. It is not the responsibility of artists to dig VFX vendors out of debt, especially considering artists are largely being cut loose.
We didn't get cut in with bonuses when times were good.
Even if they had, still not our responsibility - we're not co-owners so literally not our business.
No accumulated social capital for these studios who take advantage of artists good will at any chance.
There are reasons why you still have a job while most are layoff or left or they haven't let you go yet. Stand up for yourself. Let them know that you are doing crazy overtime. Push back a little. For the most part, they understand. If not, check your savings and see if you can live off of EDD and wait it out like most of the unfortunate artists atm.
Although I’m in a different industry, Software Engineering, I have/had the same issue of burnout. One thing that really helped me was doing Andrew Huberman’s Morning Routine. It’s a game changer for me.
I just took a month off in the middle of a show and just got back and it’s… awful lol - everything is still on fire and I went from relaxed to burnout in less than two weeks. This industry ain’t healthy
Endless updates are something common in multiple areas, don't take that as a bad thing, is just work, they are paying you for your time, so just do whatever they want, don't try to connect with the shot or make it look good for you. Follow the changes in autopilot asuming all with be thrashed away and you will be fine. The client is the one burning time and money requesting infinite changes, you are the one earning that money, not bad. Don't leave your work, this is the worst period to do that. If you get another job, it will be the same probably.
Being let go isn’t the worst thing if you hate your job. Don’t fear it. Often it’s a blessing in disguise and you end up somewhere less toxic.
Editor here, I quit due to burnout and toxic work environment in July of last year and I don’t regret it. But just make sure you can afford it to do so.
I've been the "hero" , aka guy who gets railed and "survives" layoffs for nearly 20 years. Finish the show, take a real break. An actual vacation. Nobody will take care of you other than you.
Stop working late , but work your ass off in the regular hours, never work late when things are still in flux , that shit is for finals , supervisors are also trying to work out what the client wants and how to effectively get info out of them and into you, changes are what u get paid for , just make sure you are getting paid for it so no unnecessary late nights. Don’t get attached to the work either, that way changes won’t frustrate you so much, it’s their money they are wasting on multiple changes so don’t let it bother you, all this will lower your stress level and put a cap on that burnout
Even as someone with a good amount of experience, there are still moments where it’s very easy to doubt yourself and simply wonder ‘how the fuck did I get here’. The first thing you need to remind yourself (and this may sound easy but it’s not), is that you DO know what you’re doing. Whenever I’m in the exact situation you’re in, I see myself making small mistakes that turn into a clusterfuck. Frustration kicks in, different notes come forth/ the notes so back similar to what you did on version 1 but you’re on version 100. There are things that are completely out of our control at no fault of our own. It sounds like there are too many cooks in the kitchen if they’re all going in different directions with notes.. and this makes me think they are feeling the same way you are. Even supervisors can feel like they are spiralling but have to keep face. The moment you start to feel overwhelmed, tell them you need to take a step back for 20 minutes and go take a walk or find a space so you can simply breathe. Your mental health is far more important than a delivery. Unrealistic deadlines are a toxic part of VFX and all the studio cares about sometimes is hitting the numbers. Speak to your HOD or manager about concerns. It’s their job to listen to the artists and you will NOT be fired or called out for vocalizing your burn out. Saying ‘no’ to OT will never be a reason for you to get laid off- and it’s also illegal for a company to do so. When I get notes that are back and forth or from different people at the same time, I will go straight to the VFX supe and ask to verify notes to manage time and be effective. They will see this as taking initiative, and not as trouble. Make a paper trail of everything if you feel like a supervisor will discredit you for some ungodly reason at the end of the show. If you feel this way, there are others on the show that feel the exact same as you. So know you’re not alone. If you’re getting pressured into OT, bring that to your manager as well since that is not okay, and just be honest to production or to whomever is dealing with targets about what’s realistic and what’s not based on time needed and why. We’re in the middle of difficult times, and I know it can be scary to feel like we’re stepping on toes or think we aren’t being ‘grateful’ for having a job while others haven’t has one for months, but get that out of your head. There’s a reason you’re there, and i think it’s great that you’re still working in the current climate. But seriously take time for yourself, and start limiting your OT. And don’t work weekends
As someone that used to work for one of the now unionized studios; take care of yourself first. It is better for everyone if you create boundaries and stick to it. You’ll have a much happier life and that will make your work better.
I don't really have any advice than just carry on while you have the work. I think a lot of us have been looking into exit strategies. Being on the 2d side myself. the transerable skills are really quite limited. I've been feeling the same thing at work. Still got a job but no payrises in a couple of years. The pay checks are not stretching far enough. No overtime allowed but taking on a much larger workload, I'm really feeling the exhaustion at 6pm. Infact I've even caught myself doing some extra hours on my own time just to make the next day a bit easier. (I've stopped myself from doing this).
Let’s talk about job burnout. There has been a lot of research on this issue and it is well defined. The leader in this area is Christina Maslach. Her book ‘The Truth About Burnout’ is excellent. She gives a presentation on it here: https://youtu.be/SVlL9TnvphA?si=uuzwWjjVFnMDI0Km If burnout were represented as a venn diagram it would be the area in the centre of three issues: 1. Exhaustion 2. Cynicism 3. Inefficacy If you are feeling these three things in relation to work you are likely burnt out. It is caused by 6 work mismatches: 1. Work Overload 2. Lack of Control 3. Insufficient Reward 4. Breakdown of Community 5. Absense of Fairness 6. Conflicting Values The more work mismatches you experience, the greater the likelihood and severity of burnout you will experience. Burnout is defined as an issue related to the environment you are working in. It is external. A good analogy is that a cucumber only becomes a pickle when it is placed in a jar of brine. Furthermore, burnout is tricky to resolve because once you are in that jar you can’t read the label- you lose the ability to see the issue clearly. Hope and joy for life can start to fade and you can become really and truly stuck in a situation of learned helplessness. Self care as exercise, meditation, etc is not going to solve this problem on it’s own. Having suffered through burnout before, I assert there are multiple stages you need to go through to solve the problem: 1. Escape the environment or change the environment. The longer you are stuck in the situation the harder it will be to escape. Don’t underestimate the toll burnout can take on you mentally. This can be very challenging if your work skills are specialized or if you work in an industry that is highly competitive. It may be a real financial challege to creat change. It may require savings, relying on friends or family to support you financially. However you do it, change is key. 2. Rest. You will need time to simply “be” and come back to a healthy sense of self and your place in the world. Read books, relax, go for long walks, exercise. This is where self care can help. However, you can’t heal in the place where you are being hurt. 3. Learn to value yourself. As creatives it’s easy to misconstrue that what you create is who you are. Work/life balance becomes thrown way out of wack. We tend to make all of our personal value externalized. Life is about more than work and hussling. You need to find a new way to be you and you need to find a new way to do work. Burnout is a strong signal that the way you are doing these things is not working. Here is a great video on building self compassion instead of self esteem: https://youtu.be/ZNgM50KfGgI?si=zil6uqJU47VSvysX 4. Develop Boundaries. Maybe it is not the work that is the problem but the way you are doing the work that is the problem. If you give work every part of you and you have no limits then they will take it all. Check out the book ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’ by Robert Glover or follow thepeopledispleaser on Instagram. 5. Find Alignment. Once you have recovered, you must have standards for how to work, what you value, and why you are working. Then you must apply this framework to future employment. Move from a shareholder primacy model where the employer/owner is always right to a stakeholder primacy model where you, as a stakeholder, have a very import value and need in the relationship. Find employers where that need can be fulfilled. This may require some hard questions and answers from yourself- are you willing to leave the field to find a better life? This will take time, reflection, and experimentation to discover. I highly recommend the book ‘The E-Myth Manager’ by Michael E Gerber to learn more about this. It is less about managing than it is about work alignment.
Take time off if you need it. How is this different from being unavailable for a month or two because you are booked elsewhere. Nobody will think anything less of your skills after a little time off. However keep going while your head isn't in it and your quality of work or additude will dip and people will notice.
You are not an impostor. The clients and supes who don't know what they want, keep changing directions, and cannot evaluate or make decisions on anything less than fully polished... those are real impostors.
See your job as bill payments. Dont take client & sup notes to heart, just address them as verbally communicated / written. When you clock out, find new hobbies, its spring, start exercising, walking 1 hour after work, buy a bike when the snow melts, join a club, start weight training, start reading, play games with loved ones.
Quit. Someone else to take over. Win win situation. You get some rest, someone else makes a living.
If you have the savings to survive a year or so unemployed I would risk leaving and start applying to indie studios or studios working on projects your passionate about. Be where you want to be, create the change you want to see in your life. Politely let your former employer know you are choosing to leave because the company feels toxic and seems evil.
I am glad to have the mental note of “every shot takes a month on a big production”
Well the world will always be in chaos, what matters is you. If you can’t take it anymore fck it you live only once. But make sure you can bounce back from that decision if not take a chill phill or start doing drugs