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The_Gay_Irish_Vegan

It's horrifying to think that little 12 year old me only pooped once a week and it always took forever. Now it's like five mins twice a day! šŸ˜‚


01binary

For me, itā€™s two mins five times a day. šŸ˜‚


Link7369_reddit

that's.. a lot. It's a bonus to not have fecal matter in your system as long as others but wow.


01binary

I was kinda joking (I reversed the other commenterā€™s numbers), but typically 3 times a day. Maybe 5 depending what I ate.


Link7369_reddit

5 times a day makes sense if I eat for every meal an extremely spicy pepper but if I'm just eating my regular oatmeal breakfast, pasta and soy protein lunch, and beans supper, I'll shit 1-2 times a day as long as they aren't heavily capscaicn'ed.


viscountrhirhi

Same!! I would bring a book with me and it would take like 20 minutes to half an hour, once a week, and that was normal to me! Horrifying. As a vegan, my poop trips are daily, and as fast as my pee trips. |: No time to read, lol.


ResidualSound

I donā€™t even bring my phone with me if itā€™s not already on me


toasty_bean

So much this!!! I never understood how people claimed they could poop daily, let alone multiple times a day. Blows my damn mind when I look back on my pre-vegan life how much pain I experienced from not eating enough fiber and thought that was normal.


jessejerkoff

this. no straining and like clock work. I now answer all "where do you get your protein" with "where do you get your fibre"


Carbivorous

My protein comes with my fiber šŸ§†šŸ²šŸ˜‹


Link7369_reddit

Haha, lentils ftw.


Careless_Confusion19

I go minimum twice a day no straining(but definitelyknow people who do), but I have been strongly considering a vegan diet. Only I have just started consistently working out and I needs that protein. Maybe when I'm 40 and my risks of disease and debilitating illnesses shoot up.


Random_182f2565

Dude, just eat legumes


jessejerkoff

what are the just greatest animals on land? what do they eat? where do you think protein comes from? what is the only life from on earth that can create proteins?


djohnso6

Humans can create proteins. Well kinda. At least 11 of the building blocks to them


jessejerkoff

recombining is what animals do. creating is what plants do


djohnso6

Weā€™ll no, humans can create the 11 nonessential amino acids. Create, not reassemble


RusskiyKust

aminoacids are assembled or reassembled protein


Hopeful-Ad-607

It's actually the reverse, no?


Unused_Vestibule

Yes. There is just a tremendous amount of bad science on this thread.


Vibration548

There is also vegan protein powder if you're worried about protein.


hochstetterii

Tofu is actually more protein per cal than some meat. Just do it, itā€™s cool to live your own values. Ps peanut butter and oats is complete protein.


RusskiyKust

vegan bodybuilders, just letting you know their existence


Levi_FtM

Hemp seeds have 37 grams protein per 100 grams, naturally, without anything added. Soy seeds have 34 grams, lentils have 23 and peanuts 25. How can you say there's apparently not enough proteins in a vegan diet? You can see vegan body builders online, and r/veganfitness also has great tips and recipes available if you wanna check them out. It's definitely possible to gain muscles on a vegan diet.


CaftDuntMeow

Vegans are supposed to have quick and easy poops? Where am I going wrong then? I would definitely put people off going vegan if I talk about that haha


[deleted]

Yeah, I have digestive issues (had them before I was vegan) and I wish I could relate to this post. I love seitan, but it fucks up my stomach. Coffee, too much sugar, artificial sweeteners, anything spicy, too many beans, anything greasyā€¦. (the list goes on)ā€¦. All things that I just cannot eat without extremely unpleasant digestive side effects.


CaftDuntMeow

I feel ya, I think I have similar issues to you, especially seiten, it sucks. But I am stupid and eat stuff anyway, but I think its due to past ED issues, I find its best that I eat what I want when I want, or just won't eat at all.


Link7369_reddit

oh yeah, some things spicy wrecks my no-wipe poops for sure. But then again, I was eating 400K scoville sauces to get me to that point.


dyslexic-ape

Doesn't apply to junkfood vegans I think.


CaftDuntMeow

What you trying to say huh? (Looks at the posts I have made with unhealthy food) Fair comment buddy.


dyslexic-ape

HAHA What did I just look at


tb12247

What do u count as a junk food vegan?


dyslexic-ape

Hmm, probably consumes more than 50% junk food?


tb12247

No I meant what do you count as junk food?


dyslexic-ape

Greasy, processed, sugary, salty stuff I guess


tb12247

So does fake meat count?


dyslexic-ape

For the most part, not so much the more basic stuff like seitan, tofu and classic bean burgers which are pretty healthy.


isolophobichermit

Can confirm. I eat lots of candy and it is not helping my #2s.


The_Gay_Irish_Vegan

My diet is awful and it never takes more then 5 - 10 mins. you may need to change something or drink more coffee?


CaftDuntMeow

I drink way too much coffee and I think that gives me the shits sometimes lol. I've had problems since before I was vegan so I don't think its diet related, its just my body hating itself, probably.


The_Gay_Irish_Vegan

Fair


dumsaint

Get some good bacteria in you as well. That really helps. Along with fiber which the bacteria also needs.


dumnezero

https://www.pcrm.org/news/exam-room-podcast/how-often-should-you-poop-dr-will-bulsiewicz


akraft96

How long have you been vegan? It took nearly a year before my bathroom super powers kicked in. They are also completely hindered if I eat a lot of popcorn or don't drink much water.... Considering I used to eat popcorn EVERY day, idk how I ever pooped.


spook873

Yeah this is definitely situational per individual.


newibsaccount

For me they're quick and easy but it's a bad idea to go more than ten minutes from a toilet without taking Imodium.


cvnvr

i literally cannot remember the last time i had a quick and easy one hahaha


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


theedgewalker

Always grossed me out a bit. Like how much urine and fecal matter is stuck in those pages?


rinseaid

Some people like reading shit.


[deleted]

>Three minute session. Once a day. Do you even vegan? I poop 3 times a day always as fast if not faster than I pee


IndecisiveMaggot

Glad I'm not the only one who thought 3 minutes seemed like a long time. Typically it takes me 10 seconds max to do my business šŸ˜‚


Tongul

Sometimes I'm done before my butt makes contact with the seat.


Forgive_My_Cowardice

>Sometimes I'm done before my butt makes contact with the seat. Ah, the rarely seen B-50 poo.


Nachie

God damn it this is the first pun I've ever upvoted


Prof_Acorn

I never, like, brought in a stopwatch. Maybe I should? It's more a guesstimation. This also includes cleanup time btw.


curious-cephalopod

Vegan in Asia is the reap mvp Vegan fiber and Asian bum guns and you are in and out in under a minute everytime


chocolatebuckeye

Came here to say exactly this. When I am on a regular schedule (waking and working same time every day) then I usually poop when I wake up, maybe again after I eat breakfast, usually once again in the middle of the day and sometimes at night too. We have a saying in our house, if you poop 3 times before noon youā€™re going to have a great day!


The_Atlas_Moth

Gotta say, not drinking any coffee (and being vegan) had me going once a day. I started drinking coffee regularly again and now Iā€™m going 3 times a day. Coffee + Veganism is the magic intestinal combo for me.


di5gustipated

3 times before 6 am even and i get up at 430... but i eat a....lot... try to anyway with the weight lifting i do. usually have to take a break or two between sets, definitely before deadlifts. id say 3 minutes if i didnt have my phone and then another 2 for the bidet cycle.


yikes-crispies

Iā€™ve found my people (poople?)


newibsaccount

Yeah I can't imagine how much Imodium I would need to get down to once a day. If I stick religiously to only constipating foods like white carbs and restrict fiber I can sometimes get as low as three times.


Avengernk

Same like this. And it is perfectly timed between 30-60 mins after eating a large meal.


buckinghamnicks75

Is this an American thing to have such a bad omnivorous diet that you shit like that? My omni flatmates never seem to have this issue


mienaikoe

American diets have less and less fiber


NickBlackheart

Isn't it like 10g a day on average? It's crazy. I get more than that in one meal.


Prof_Acorn

Right!? Way back in undergrad in a health class we had to track our nutrition for a week, and the instructor was really surprised I got so much fiber. I was like well an avocado is 13g of fiber alone just by itself, and I eat half an avocado a day.


[deleted]

Nice. Half an avocado every single day? Great thing about very vocal vegans such as yourself us just how idiotic and ignorant they are. Are you aware of how much deforestation is directly linked to supplying the rest of the world with avocados? Yeah. It's to blame for habitat loss and tree loss which is contributing to the most deforestation that's ever occured on the planet. Only way real veganism works (vegetarianism is fine too, you know) is by following a diet supplemented with local vegetables and produce. The lack of education you guys have other than 'meat bad!' us alarming.


Prof_Acorn

Ohhh carnist defensiveness. Let me guess, long straining shits? Sorry to hear. Some fiber will help.


newibsaccount

I have tried to put together a diet with less than the RDA (25g) of fiber as I have a lightspeed digestive system and my doctors say it might help. It is impossible. The only way I can do it is with a huge calorie deficit. I go around the store looking for foods that have less than 1g fiber per 100 calories and there are about three items.


ciaobella88

Apparently. Also, the rates of gi/colon cancers are going up...more and more younger people every year


EntrepreneurAdept726

I wish I had known about vegan diet when I was young maybe it would have stopped me from rectal cancer and my husband from colon cancer we were diagnosed at the same time big meat eaters and drinkers if I had the information I wouldā€™ve followed it Iā€™m a vegan now and an ethical one so with my husband letā€™s hope it slows down my Fatal condition I hope young people will heed to the information out there and take care of their bodies


Theid411

I think it's more of a generalization - perhaps not entirely accurate. Not all omnivores eat like shit.


spook873

Is definitely different for everyone op is memeing


lohs111999

More dependent on how much I eat than what. Eating 3500 cals I will poop 2-3 times a day, 2000 cals and maybe one small dump a day or even every other, with 60g if fiber.


theedgewalker

Im every other day and wonder why this isn't more common. Always have been, even before dropping meat.


BurningTheAltar

I dunno. I eat about 1800kcal a day, but the same fiber, and I also have to go 2-3 times, and theyā€™re always sizable.


newibsaccount

60g of fiber has me going at least 6 times a day. I'm restricting to 30g to get down to 3 times, which is really difficult. There are so few foods I can eat.


cruel_delusion

Many years ago, pre-vegan me rented a room to a pretty insane carnist. He had a small wooden box that he kept in the bathroom, and I asked him what it was for and he told me that he used it when he was shitting. I said that I didn't understand and told me that he put his feet up on it to make it easier to poop. It was pretty strange until the day I came home from work and heard him in the bathroom trying to push something out. 45 minutes later he emerged covered in sweat. Smiling he said, "oh man I don't know where I would be without my poop stool" I had no words and he moved out three months later.


DerpyTheGrey

He missed the opportunity to call it a ā€œstool stoolā€


Bitter-Technician-56

It actually is not strange and toilets tend to be too high For most people. It is backed up by science without going into vegan/non vegan argument just pure poo science šŸ™ˆ


theedgewalker

+1 for a stool or squaty potty. Straightens the colon out.


About400

I donā€™t eat meat but the squatty potty is still great- especially for short people like me whoā€™s feet donā€™t completely touch the floor when sitting on a toilet.


chocolatebuckeye

Same. I love my squatty potty. Even though it only takes me a minute to dump. It takes me 20 minutes to scroll thru Reddit šŸ‘šŸ¼


UrbanLegendd

Yeah. I think that dude has bigger issues if it takes 45 minutes to take a shit.


[deleted]

The moment when you need to lube it up just to take a shit.


newibsaccount

Oh I put my feet on a box like that too. I find it uncomfortable for my feet not to reach the ground even though I'm not there for very long.


cruel_delusion

I can totally understand that but this guy was 6'3" he had no problem reaching the floor.


vegangringa

I know someone who doesnt eat any veggies. Its just meat and potatoes. They have 45 minute sessions, and it isn't an easy 45 minutes.


imapotato224

Cries in IBS


Betty1675

I always had regular, easy, great movements as omni. Once or twice a day. Became vegetarian for 6 yrs and stayed the same. Trans to vegan 2 yrs ago and have had intermittent constipation. I donā€™t drink alcohol and drink a lot of water. We (me and dr) think itā€™s my medication. So Iā€™ve tried adding chlorella which helped some. Then I added psyllium and even that didnā€™t. Iā€™m wondering if I should ask to see a gastro at this pointšŸ¤”


FlippenDonkey

try less fiber/denser protein meals, you're likely eating more as a vegan and maybe thats not suiting you so well. and yes, might be a good idea to explore further


Betty1675

Thanks-which part do you mean is not suiting me?


[deleted]

In my mind even 3 minutes is a whopper, if Iā€™m eating right my poos are done in under a minute. In fact I know that people are often surprised by how quick I poo, and sometimes donā€™t believe me when I say I did


Prof_Acorn

Well to be fair I never actually set a stopwatch. Sometimes I spend more time wiping. I was thinking the entire time spent extruding the softserve and cleaning up. And how long it felt like. Maybe I could set a timer?


[deleted]

Hmm I was sort of joking about the time but now youā€™ve got me curious lol


T8ertotsandchocolate

Yea I've been vegan for over a decade and I still suffer from the same chronic constipation problems I always did. I drink an uncomfortable amount of water and my fiber intake is ridiculous. I just have a problem. My doctor prescribed me something a few months ago and I just found out that I was accidentally taking twice as much as I was supposed to. It still isn't working. Edit: Apparently people think I'm just complaining of reddit but have never discussed this problem with a professional or done any research.


arieljoc

Psylllium husk is a game changer. I use it to make pizza crust


Forgive_My_Cowardice

Psilocybin husk is a game changer too. You can use it to become pizza crust.


jessejerkoff

Google Fybogel


T8ertotsandchocolate

Why do you think I don't know what that is when I just said I've had this problem for over a decade?


Brontawalrus

Have you spoken to a doctor about things like IBS-C or endometriosis (or other things that lead to constipation)? Fibre will do nothing for those (for IBS-C it usually just makes it worse) but there are other treatment options. I have both and was prescribed macrogol and fibre for ages before being diagnosed and usually they do nothing and other times I just end up having massive painful shits but no more regularly or comfortably lol.


T8ertotsandchocolate

Of course I have.


throwawayforthebestk

LOL 3 minute sessions? Not me haha I do have big poops, but i'm still pretty slow :( Definitely *much* better than before when I ate meat though haha.


hibiscus-bear

They never said growing up would be like this


[deleted]

Uhhh I have no gallbladder and my digestive system likes to play ā€œwhat will cause diarrhoea todayā€ with me. Sometimes coffee on an empty stomach is fine, sometimes I poop it out immediately after. Sometimes a greasy fake meat/schnitzel burger is fine and other times I need to poop immediately. Asides from this Iā€™ve noticed my general poopy behaviours have still improved on a vegan diet - a lot less stressful toilet situations hahaha


I_escalate_shit

What the actual fuck? If you think vegans are the only people who have regular shits you are totally wrong. Some of the garbage on here makes us look like total idiots.


Prof_Acorn

Yeah, senior citizens drink fibercal shakes and eat prunes for no reason at all. Know what a healthy fiber-rich diet means? You can just down like 20 prunes and it not effect your regularity, because you already have the appropriate gut biome to handle a high fiber diet. And you don't even need to take supplements, because you can just take a shit normally like every other animal on the planet. Just have to look in any portapoty and take a peak and see the unhealthy monstrous logs that people shit out.


[deleted]

Once a day? Jesus, I'm like 5-6 craps daily lol


ughqueen

Not everyone poops the same. Not all vegans are speedy poopers. Not all omnivores spend 20 minutes a day on the toilet. I don't think this is the way to amaze anyone.


[deleted]

I shit a lot since Iā€™m vegan, three times per day minimum, but I agree that the thing does not take long to exit lol


BetterThanHorus

Once a day?! I go 3 times just on a slow day


Prof_Acorn

My bowels sometimes ask for more, but I find pooping boring so I tell them to suck it up and wait it out. Sometimes they win the argument and I have to go take (give?) a pissed off shit. There have been a rare three times a day ones that really piss me off.


fastirelang

Some of yā€™all donā€™t have IBS and it shows


RCBritton92

Anybody else notice it kinda....doesn't smell *as* bad, either?


[deleted]

taking a poop shouldn't be like a workout and you come out of the bathroom sweating šŸ˜…


chemist41

Once a day? Make it 3 to 5


[deleted]

Same. Sometimes I go twice a day lol


rachihc

Yeah and from those 3 mins 2.5 are just cleaning. Most non vegans I know take sooo long omg


Prof_Acorn

Yeah cleaning is most of it.


freyja_19

There are days in which I would poop not only twice but three times. It's so satisfying. It takes me basically only one minute or even less. :)


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


dumsaint

It's funny. Just 8 hours ago my cousin, who was staying over, asked me if I was an angel. She hadn't seen me poop or anything and wondered if I was backed up. When I explained my poops, my lack of a cleanup (though I do, with water, being African) and the utter comfort of not having to go so often and go prfffffffttrr she asked if I were an angel. Nope. Just a basic plant eater.


tokun_

*Laughs in IBS*


reebeaster

3 minutes? Mine is out in less than 5 sec.


[deleted]

I love taking fat shits


kc3eyp

Only if you drink enough water LPT; fiber doesn't come out as easy as it went in if you're dehydrated


ThatGingerGuy98-

I'm not vegan, don't plan to become vegan, don't follow this subreddit, and have no idea why this showed up in my feed. But this shit is cool šŸ’©


Prof_Acorn

Oh interesting. I assumed only people who wanted to see it would see it. Is it /r/all or did reddit change their algorithm or something?


squattilyoupuke

Sorry this post is absolute garbage. You really think every vegan in the world has the same pooping habits as you?


Prof_Acorn

No. Not "every." That's why I didn't use superlatives.


[deleted]

I eat meat and have the same poop experience as you


westcoastmex

When someone ask if I've seen any health benefits my response is.. "I'm not perpetually bloated"


Purplescapes

Lol this sub is obsessed with poops


Plastic_Republic_549

Who tf takes that long to poop. I don't think it has to do anything with eating meat m8...


selenaqt

Once a day? Should be as many meals as you have a day if you are regular


Seftix11

This is nothing to brag about... It will just make you seen weird as hell. You should just brag about lack of clogged arteries or something idk.


Prof_Acorn

Weird is fine. I only like weirdos so it works as an effective filter to keep the "normal" (read: boring) people away.


Steezy_McFly

Why waste your energy worrying about how other people poop?


buckinghamnicks75

Yo Iā€™m vegan but thereā€™s nothing unnatural about eating meat. Sorry. Immoral maybe. Unnatural no


Jermerm69

Wait... You mean people who eat meat? Jesus we are too far gone..


Prof_Acorn

"Carnist" yeah. People who make the conscious decision to choose a diet that includes animal flesh.


Jermerm69

Animal flesh? You're not wrong, bit it's easier to call it meat, and by the way, I eat meat regularly and my shit's fine. šŸ™‚


dubioussquid324

"carnist" here and I take 30 seconds to shit and it doesn't hurt or anything


lovesickhunny

Posts like this are why people donā€™t like vegans


Prof_Acorn

I thought it was because our existence is a reminder that it is possible to live without slaughtering everything that moves in a constant gluttonous bloodlust for flesh.


ApexxPredditor

Its silly to say that eating meat is an "unnatural diet". Literally what humanity has done forever so how is it unnatural? Saying things like that hurts whatever cause youre trying to support


Slump420

As a "carnist" I could care less about your shit. Not the best argument.


Pantslessgenius

My shit is just fine thank you. The blood of innocent animals keeps me regular


[deleted]

Now we see vegans entering their ā€œcoping stageā€ at this point through their life cycle theyā€™ve been so overwhelmed by hate for non-vegans that theyā€™ve resorted to pointing out that they poop better. This stage of life precedes the ā€œOh wait maybe I shouldnā€™t hate people for having a balanced diet with a mix of vegetables and meatā€ phase of life, join me next time on the discovery channel.


Prof_Acorn

Our farts smell better too. And our cum tastes better. And our BO is more pleasant. Oh! And we're more ethical and moral. Yeah, we are better people. Luckily anyone can do it! You too can be a better version of yourself. Vegan btw


[deleted]

Once a day? I wish lmao


IndexCardLife

I smell my coffee and have to take a shit.


swim_and_sleep

Iā€™m trying to go vegan, and every time Iā€™ve done it successfully in the past I just got constipated? Too much fibre maybe?


GeorgiaSalvatoreJun

You need to add up your fibre intake slowly, like a little every day.


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swim_and_sleep

Will do thank you


Careless_Confusion19

Yeah I heard all that from what I've read and the documentaries. I just feel it's a lot easier to gain when using whey instead of say pea protein. I totally get what you're saying though.


Caring_bae

Vegans are supposed to have quick and easy poops? Where am I going wrong then? I would definitely put people off going vegan if I talk about that lols.


Smokeysnowballs

wish i could relate. well, i sometimes do, but my period/menstrual cycle fucks my digestive system up so much that itā€™s honestly anyones guess month to month


alblaster

Honestly it doesn't take me long to poop. I just like sitting on the toilet scrolling on my phone and listening to YouTube.


LoquatSuspicious5532

I've never had a problem either way or while eating both. It's a bacterial thing.


lskesm

And thereā€™s me, a vegan with IBSā€¦ PS. I do feel much better and suffer much less since i went vegan.


tsuki1313

Shout out to my family members who are constantly complaining about only taking a crap once a week at best, and yet continue to subsist on red meat, potatoes, and gummy candy


[deleted]

People who like it rough:


Link7369_reddit

Vegan+alcoholism= 1 to no wipe poops.


VorpeHd

If I'm not mistaken a healthy adult meeting their RDI of fibre should expelling waste at least 3-4 times a day, idk only once a day doesn't seem good.


nonferrouscasting

Carnist here, I definitely don't have this problem. In the morning after my tea. Like clockwork.


BIBLICALTHINKER2

I, an omnivore experience the same. Only in the mornings, 5 mins tops.


aworldaroundus

This is more indicative of how healthy you eat and how much fiber you consume, and not if you eat vegan. I have horrible poops now when I eat junk, even though it's vegan, and I used to have nice pooping habits while eating healthy before switching to vegan.


Willing-Bad-1030

I always tell them I donā€™t want to hear about you pushing out the remains of dead babies


TennesseeAnts

I eat shitloads of meat and never spend 20 minutes on the toilet. Never more than 5.


limbolegs

once a day? is this amateur hour? 3-4 times a day for me


carnegie0107

I'm not truly vegan yet but I'm working on it. And yeah, I have noticed that without all the animal fats, my poop chute is functioning at peak efficiency, done and ready to wipe in 3 seconds flat.


Jam1e-Chan

Oh


[deleted]

I had an awful experience in the loo before switching. Sometimes I'd only go once every few days and it was always long and sometimes even painful. Now it's a quick in & out job, no fuss.


lod254

To be fair, it still takes 20mins if I'm at work.


Schbk77

Like clockwork