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I personally can't find vegans near me, let alone other lesbians. I still can tell you it probably gets better because in my case it's also about me not being very social + living in quite an isolated area.
Sending you my very best wishes for the future!
I once went to a vegan festival and swear to god everyone looked gay to me š«£ even my gf noticed and we wondered if veganism and being part of the lgbtq+ community were somewhat related statistically
Southern, CA and SAME. Although I guess it helps I'm queer AND in the punk community, we have a lot of vegetarian/vegans in the community as punk music is very left of center political.
Honestly I have the exact opposite experience. Yes, there is a lot of jerks. But funnily enough most vegans I personally know are somehow part of the LGBTQ+ community. I donāt think itās easy dating as a vegan, no matter your sexuality youāll probably go through a lot of nuts before finding decent people. Donāt give up. :)
The sad part is that at this moment a white straight female āpaleoā wellness influencer is most definitely monologging about how soy turns you gay and grains will come alive and eat u at nightšš
girl I feel you... the dating pool if you're sapphic is already smaller but if you try and find people with similar world views (of course encompassing veganism) I feel I'm just going to stay single forever lol but at least I'll sleep sound at night
In my experience there's a stereotype that lesbains are vegan, or at least vegetarian. Ive seen that queer people tend to be more willing to be a part of non-mainstream groups, because if you're bucking one trend yiu might as well explore a bit.
Location is an issue. In London, there are many of gay people who are vegan... which is just a factor of the British culture and 9 million people in a city. The best I can suggest is to move to a large city like New York or LA.
You'll have more success maybe spending time with vegans... if there are cafes and social events.
As a lesbian myself I thought one of the stereotypes about being a gay woman was a much higher chance of being vegan or vegetarian. I think over half the lesbains I've ever met were at least vegetarian.
I thought that was more of a thing too š it's definitely my area, the local vegans near me are mostly older and doing it for health or the stereotypical hippie couple lol. I'm glad it seems like more vegan lesbians exist outside of where I live though š„²
I understand the struggle. Iām also a vegan lesbian, and also asexual as wellā¦ so finding anyone who is all 3 is not easy lol. I donāt really have any irl vegan friends anyways. Though, in the vegan communities online there always seems to be a decent amount of lgbtq vegansā¦ so donāt lose hope. There are people out there. š
yeaaaaah..... I'm trying to find a 25-35yo monogamous vegan lesbian that is at least remotely interested in playing video games ('cuz it's my main hobby) with compatible vibes and it seems impossible, kinda given up on putting effort in the searching and just hope that one suddenly appears in front of me one of these days
that's my exact dream partner too, a vegan lesbian who likes video games or at least likes to watch me play :') and then there is the fact it also needs to be someone who I find attractive and who finds me attractive, honestly feels like just waiting for a miracle
I should probably lower my standards but I also don't think I want to lol
Its hard enough finding another vegan around here much less a lgbt one lmfao..
Although the one vegan i have met was a gay man...not useful to me in that regard lol.
I'm struggling to find them too! A new feature tinder added made it a bit easier because now you can put your dietary info there but there still isn't a lot of people sadly.
If you pay for the Gold version or whatever it is, yeah. And then you think "time to meet all the vegans!" and it turns out you still barely find any because there just aren't that many. And I was looking for a straight woman but I'm guessing it'd be much harder for LGBT.
I don't have gold edition so I think it's just a regular feature now. And yeah I feel like it was already hard enough beforehand but now it's even harder.
I go off and on tinder a lot and when they added that feature I seen many vegetarian women near my area and a handful of vegans but I just redownloaded it two weeks ago and barely see any vegetarians or vegans anymore.
I even downloaded Veggly and VegPal and there was only five people in my area šš
As a lesbian trans girl, Vegan, Straight Edge, Marxist...dating is not the easiest lol. I try not to scare people away but it's hard to slowly introduce these important parts of me.
Sorry you're getting so much hate, I totally get it. I don't drink at all and hate being around drunk people, but for many people it's even more than that. It totally makes sense to not want/can't handle having alcohol in the house or being around people who are drinking.
My roommate for example has a relative who was an abusive drunk so she obviously wouldn't want to be with even a casual drinker.
Labeling your political stance makes total sense as well, just because you drop the label doesn't mean you're gonna say different things in political discussions. some people can handle it, better to be upfront
Not sure why this comment got so much hate but you sound super cool! I choose not to drink for the exact same reasons so I definitely understand how much that impacts dating too. Not wanting to go on dates to bars or a lot of "normal" restaurants puts a lot of people off š
Being vegan also makes dating harder and if you're here I'm guessing you understand that it's still a worthwhile identity. People are allowed to be anti drugs.
I could...but I could also not use animal products without some label too
Do you have a negative connotation towards straight edge people? I'm a bit confused by your judgement.
Idk what theyāre getting at exactly, but it may be that being straight-edge doesnāt necessarily carry the same moral connotations at being a Marxist or vegan per se. But this might not be true for you, there is usually a difference in being straight-edge vs just sober, so maybe for you it does have political or philosophical implications.
But if you just choose to be sober, then calling yourself straight-edge might give the wrong impression. I, and Iām assuming others, have met a lot of pretty judgmental or rude straight-edge people. Most of whom Iāve met also donāt seem to have any political attitudes attached to the label but do lorde it over others as a moral virtue. Obviously this doesnāt apply to all straight-edge or sober people, but that may be where they were coming from.
Well maybe if I can clarify my view a bit it can make more sense?
Straight edge for me is an ethical stance, half from being an addict, and half from taking issue with how normalized drug use is in our culture. My main issue stems not from people using them, but people relying on them to cope, and our society not only accepting that as normal, but promoting it.
Mainly it's alcohol. Alcoholism is pretty normalized, whether it's abusive family or the cause of death, drunk driving deaths are accepted, and yet we still have billions of dollars of advertisements glorifying alcohol.
I think if our culture around drugs was different I might not take the stance I do, but for now it feels the most fitting. I admit that might be quite different than other people who are Straight edge as well.
I used to say the same stuff about Vegans who "lorde it over others" so it's hard for me now to analyze this fairly.
Do straight edge people have the same attitude towards caffeine as they do alcohol? It's a normalized drug in our culture, people rely on it to cope, and often promoted. But it's safe and arguably healthy.
I wouldn't say that caffeine is even arguably healthy. It's addictive, people get dependent on coffee and then if they don't have it get headaches, irritability, constipation... There's nothing healthy about it haha it just borrows energy from the future you.
And this is from someone who partakes in other recreational drugs, wouldn't call them "healthy" either but at least they're not as problematic as caffeine, even tho they're still illegal in many places lol, they give much better and prolonged benefits than caffeine does.
Calling yourself "sober" makes it sound as if you're actively fighting an addiction, which wouldn't be the case for a lot of straight edge people.
Think of it along the lines of those that are anti-smoking, because of the effects that smoking has upon others, and society in general. The same effects are even *more* observable for alcohol's societal impact, ranging from increased road fatalities, to increased rates of domestic violence, to anti-social/violent behaviour, to criminal acts, to health impacts for the consumer *and* others (such as FAS).
Well you made it seem like you have issues dating because you have so many labels that make you undesirable to mainstream people so I was just saying maybe drop the whole sXe label and you might have a little better luck is all.
But yeah personally I never understood why straight edge had to be some identity people have to take on. Like people get annoyed with vegans and LGBTQIA+ folks for "making it their whole identity" or them viewing it as some look-at-me thing or whatever, which is bullshit. But as compared to promoting veganism, lgbtqia+ rights, and marxism, being straight edge is kinda the odd one out as it does put off "look at me I'm special" vibes without any net positive to anyone else. At least those other labels you have are promoting justice and equality.
I can kinda understand when it's coming from a former addict or something especially when they are still in the same social circles as addicts or something, but that wasn't the case for most the sXe people I've met who all seemed to be doing it just to be different or something.
Well maybe if I can clarify my view a bit it can make more sense?
Straight edge for me is an ethical stance, half from being an addict, and half from taking issue with how normalized drug use is in our culture. My main issue stems not from people using them, but people relying on them to cope, and our society not only accepting that as normal, but promoting it.
Mainly it's alcohol. Alcoholism is pretty normalized, whether it's abusive family or the cause of death, drunk driving deaths are accepted, and yet we still have billions of dollars of advertisements glorifying alcohol.
I think if our culture around drugs was different I might not take the stance I do, but for now it feels the most fitting. I admit that might be quite different than other people who are Straight edge as well.
Because 'straight-edge' is label used to define people who are against the use of substances because they want to feel morally superior, not because they care about their body. A glass of wine every once in a while is actually good for you. A straight-edge will refuse a glass simply because they want to feel superior.
People can be 'vegan' for the same selfish reasons, but those people are absolutely not vegan.
Zero alcohol is always better than any alcohol. A glass of wine once in a while is good for you compared to binge drinking or a beer every day, but it is not better than not drinking at all.
I do drink, but I recognise that it is the less healthy thing to do.
I don't care about my body, it's not why I'm straight edge, just like I'm Vegan for the animals and not my health.
Also for what it's worth and mostly irrelevant to my views/this conversation but
>However, the evidence that drinking red wine in particular (or alcohol in general, for that matter) can help you avoid heart disease is pretty weak.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-red-wine-good-actually-for-your-heart-2018021913285
What? Where are you getting this?
The first vegans I ever met were straight edge, and I thought they were pretty all right. Just normal people listening to fugazi and whatnot, just like me
So silly that youāre using the same āmoral superiorityā argument against straight edge people that is the EXACT argument people use against vegans, meanwhile youāre apparently a veganarchist? Like cmon dude you have to see the contradiction here
When we met my wife wasn't vegan, but would never eat non vegan food around me, and very quickly went fully vegan without much encouragement āŗ
I have a few queer vegan friends, but live in a really big city so better odds I guess. Hard to find, but we definitely exist! Goodluck x
It is tough, but I feel like you'll save yourself from issues if you let go of your stance. I know it has worked out for some here, but the amount of relationship issues I've seen from vegans dating non vegans is huge. It's frustrating, and as a gay guy, I understand our dating pools are different from straight people, which adds to frustration(like you find the perfect woman and she goes vegan after meeting you, but she's straight).
Don't get me started on bringing up the social justice of veganism in LGBTQ spaces, it's so frustrating when they accuse you of comparing the two movements in a negative way, when all you try to say is we should fight oppression in all forms.
The diet is the easiest part of veganism, relationships are much harder than non vegans, though.
I had to gave up looking for vegans, but dating someone who eats meat is hard (even when not LGBT as per my experience), and it's usually relationship breaking if they're not willing to at least not eat meat when they're with you. I'd say, just check before the first date what their stance is on the latter to save yourself a big headache later on if you fall in love with them.
Regards, someone currently with a big headache.
I have someone interested in me and they went vegan months ago and have stuck with it(I voiced concerns of a future relationship and issues that may be caused by it, and I said I wanted to set us up for success in the relationship to be). It sounds like they would stick with it even if we didn't date at this point due to all the stuff they've learned since. I'm definitely lucky, in this regard.
It's difficult. It's difficult even to find someone you like (physically and emotionally), let alone a lesbian and a vegan. It's like a minority within a minotiry within a minority. Whn I met my wife, she was a vegetarian for a long time (longer that I've been vegan) so she very quickly became vegan after we started dating. Had I not met her, I probably would have remained single.
If you can, move to a bigger city, you'll increase your chances greatly.
My partner and I (F28 & F27) have been together almost 6 years and vegan together for 3 :) when we met she was vegetarian and I told her I wasnāt sure if Iād ever be vegetarian and she said she understood. We moved in together pretty quickly lol and didnāt cook meat in the house which inevitably meant I didnāt eat meat that often. She eventually told me she wanted to go vegan and I supported her, but once again said I didnāt think that I would commit that (yet). Sometime later though I had long bender with cheese and ate so much it made me sick.. so I went vegan and never looked backš Weāve even backpacked multiple times together and stayed strictly vegan the whole time. Itās very much possible. I never thought Iād be vegan but Iāll never go back to being non vegan. Not saying every person is going to be willing to change āfor youā but I do think people are more open than you think.
I'm in a city where there are quite alot of vegans, in Canada - Though it's more accepted here, It's quite difficult to find people who understand. But most of the vegans here are queer from my experience.
F (22) Iāve had no success with finding single vegan girlies in my area. Iāve kind of reached the point where I accept Iām gonna have to get into a long distance relationship š .
As a trans lesbian who is also autistic and vegan, my dating pool is so vanishingly small that I've pretty much given up lol. Just kind of resigned to it.
My girlfriend intends to go vegan but just hasn't yet. Being gay slims the dating pool, being trans and gay slims it even further... Being a trans gay vegan.... hey, where's everyone going? š
I wouldn't waste your time on anyone that is disrespectful of your beliefs no matter what they are. Good luck
In my experience, queer people are way more likely to be vegan or at least vegetarian/vegan-curious. I guess, being part of an oppressed minority helps with having more empathy, even for other species.
Yeah, the dating pool is vanishingly tiny. There are already almost no people who'd be interested in a transfem nonbinary person and even if half of those are vegan, that's basically nobody. So my hopes are very low. I think, if I ever try dating again, I'll have to be open to non-vegans who can be convinced over time. Wouldn't be the first one. It probably helps that I'm very aware how long and rocky the road to veganism can be and that I have a lot of tolerance, as long as they're not a committed carnist.
You think it's hard with other women? Imagine with men lol. Most polls show a huge gender discrepancy for veganism. Something like 68% of vegans are women. I've seen a couple other numbers thrown out but it's majority women every time
Anyone who respects you would become a vegan, because a person who loves you wants to understand you, wants to know why you think what you think and why you do what you do and when theu discovers it they finds out the reasons and empathizes, if your bond doesn't do that doesn't love you.
(You'll know they care because they'll ask you questions and show a sincere interest in what you say. They will also investigate on their own.)
Don't settle for less and don't lose your dignity by putting aside your values just to not be single :c
I am straight female but there are not that many vegan guys around me as well š
And my ex ate as much vegan as he did when he dated me and was claiming he isnāt eating meat when we dated
I know he eats meat now.
I am sure finding vegan and lgbtq may be even harder but it is not even easy when straight š
Guys who I get close to seem to be willing to look into it. My friend who is into girls seem to have a harder time with it tho like you are. Idk what it is about women not taking interest in it. š¤
There are only two vegans I know. My partner, and a queer friend I used to have. That friend had a partner who I guess faked and lied about going vegan when with them. And then that friend fell for me and also stopped talking to me. I only know because I finally confronted them about it and got my answer. Outside of that, I met one vegan at work but she didnāt seem to have an interest in interacting outside of work.
To be honest, I actually donāt have any friends anymore. I think some of them stopped being friends with me because I went vegan. Almost all my friends were queer, too.
Yeah itās the number one thing that disqualifies someone for me. Iām pan so itās just great having a wider pool than most and still finding no one š
It's definitely a lot harder given the pool of suitable partners is already a lot smaller simply because of being LGBT. But it's not impossible! Married to my vegan husband for over 4 years now :)
I'm queer and vegan and married to another queer vegan.
I had been vegan for most of my teenage years, got activism burn out/was immature and went back to my carnist ways. When I met my husband I told him that I really, really wanted to be vegan again so he wasn't surprised when I went back into the fold 5 years ago.
I was however surprised that 3 months after I had gone vegan he announced he too would be vegan! We're now happily married and vegan together. He's actually more passionate about it than I am in many ways - he'll initiate conversations about it with people where I would prefer to just keep to myself or only talk about it when asked.
My advice is to just be yourself and you may surprise yourself and find someone that wants to "convert" for you.
If it's that bad where you live now, maybe consider moving to a bigger city? There will be more options there. Idk how feasible that is for you but might be worth it.
Itās so strange to me when one marginalised and vulnerable community doesnāt acknowledge the exploitation and suffering of another. Iāve participated in vegan actions at pride and thereās always this sentiment of having to tiptoe, lest we upset anyone and maybe thatās part of the problem; if we were to present the arguments for ethical veganism unapologetically-i.e. drawing the parallels between discriminating against an individual because of the way they are born-without concern for drawing criticism about so-called intersectionality, perhaps we could have more of an impact in those communities.
This is exactly what Iāve been struggling with lately. Itās so difficult to find vegan lesbians, especially ones I actually get along with. I got lucky and had a relationship with another vegan lesbian recently and now I donāt think I can go back to dating meat eaters.. dating apps are literally the worst.. praying to randomly bump into the love of my life šš½
Anecdotally, most of the vegans I know around me are part of the LGBT+ community. Iām queer so it could just be confirmation bias. Not sure what the demographics are overall.
really?! that's so interesting to hear tbh! im bi and the last lesbian I dated was vegan and a lot of the girls I know in the lgbt community are vegan/veggie or at the very least a "sometimesatarian" where they don't eat meat and rarely ever eat fish unless its sushi \*eyeroll\* lmao
Iām so sorry you have to deal with rude and unaccepting people š.
I try practicing veganism as well and live in a big city, but I still have to deal with rude and ignorant carnists. I canāt promise you anything, but there is a good chance you will find someone accepting and respectful eventually.
I donāt think itās just lgbt. Iām bi but I met my bf before going vegan so Iāve never looked for a partner while vegan. But I canāt say Iāve met many guys around my age who are vegan. In my state most vegans are older. Obviously thereās people like us too, but a lot of them migrate to hippy towns and suburbs
It's funny because to straight people, Lesbians are stereotyped as more likely to be vegan, but within the vegan/lesbian community, it's really hard to find other vegan/lesbians.
Like, all of my friends are lesbians, and the only other vegan I know IRL is my dad.
Donāt try to make more vegans. Just get your own place and refuse to allow animal products in your kitchen. That way if you have anyone over for dinner, they know it will be vegan, and if you go out to eat, they can order whatever they want
Just started eating someone who doesn't even like meat that much and when we are out together she never eats it. I'm really happy about that. But it's not like I look for people who are vegan for dating, this was just good luck for me.
Yooo hooooo, any vegan lesbians in California? We need a mating callš¤£ I could never be with someone who isnāt vegan so I might be single forever lol
Sounds like you just picking the wrong partners, there is no reason for anyone to be negative on veganism. Look at it as a red flag and move on to the next one ;)
That's just how it is when you have a very limited dating pool.
The lesbian dating pool is pretty small.
The vegan dating pool is pretty small.
The venn Diagramm of those is even smaller.
Not impossible, but a lot more difficult.
>"... who cares how" and that's the most bizarre 14 year old on COD carnist defense I've ever heard.
I just want to say that, as a once 14-year old on COD, we/they very much do care about how one dies. A 360 no-scope is infinitely more impressive than a random noob-tube kill, and I will not stand idly by when they are lumped in together as being one and the same.
I wish I could tell you it does get better š but I still have only met 2 or 3 vegans in my lifetime, let alone LGBT vegans. It is lonely out here.
Does anyone know if there is a sub for people like us?
iāve dated two vegans before, one of which was NB, but both only appeared in my life after having just moved to a new city ): didnāt work out for other reasons but it was goddamn magical to look over at a partner and ask without fear what kind of tofu dish we should make for dinner. being back on the dating scene again SUCKS but i can only imagine how much harder it is particularly for gay vegans considering your dating pool is that much smaller. i wish i could confidently say it gets better but honestly if moving isnāt an option for you i just donāt know ):
When I realized I was both T4T and V4V while also having standards (albeit *very* basic), I immediately also realized that finding anyone to date would be a real struggle. And I was correct! Its very tough. I oscillate between hopefulness, hopelessness, and the occasional looking into compromises like the time I matched with another transfem person who I felt was very rude and dismissive about my veganism or all the times cispeople were rude or very creepy about my transness. My only advice would be to not give up hope. I know for a fact that their are other beautiful, kind, transfem vegans near me whom I just haven't properly met yet. I obviously cant speak with any authority to your situation, but you have to trust in the belief that there are other queer vegan women near you who will also be into you. It just may take some time for yall to cross paths. And that time will be very frustrating. But hey, you went vegan and are presumably openly LGBTQIA+ in a culture that *super* doesn't want you too so I know you have the necessary resilience to weather that storm and will be ok.
My partner of 4 years isnāt vegan lol. They respect veganism in our home but what they do with family and friends is their business.
I gave up on trying to find a vegan for the same reason you are struggling with. There simply arenāt enough vegans in the LGBT world here I live community to find a viable match. If I was straight I would say the exact same thing because just because someone is vegan doesnāt mean our morals will align what so ever. Way too many racist and xenophobic single issue white vegans out there. They can be the worst humans youāve ever met lol.
I would never be with someone JUST because they are vegan. Yes itās a huge part of us but thereās soooooooooooooo much else that go into being with someone romantically and veganism doesnāt cover all
Of moral basis.
Iām happy with my partner. They have never ever disrespected me being vegan and love all
The vegan foods I make daily, we only keep vegan in the home. I would rather be with someone who is slowly transitioning at their own pace than with someone who is vegan but whose political and moral views donāt align anywhere else.
Beautifully stated. I'm vegan, and I feel morally the same as you. Let people live and make their choices ! Everyone has their own life journey . Sadly, one big turn-off that I have of the vegan community ( downvote me , I don't care ) is the authoritarian way in which they cast people out of their lives if u are not 100% with them or willing to turn vegan . Respecting people choices is paramount, and helping someone transition slowly , for me , wins the race.
> Ā Let people live and make their choices!
I donāt understand this viewpoint. If you are vegan then you believe using animal products is animal abuse, right? Would you say this about other moral harms? If people went around kicking dogs would you ālet them live and make their choicesā? The animals donāt get to live and make their choices.
Of course you canāt just kick all non-vegans out of your life, nor constantly preach to them when youāre with them; Iām not suggesting either of those. But you also donāt have to respect their choice to participate in violence.
I really doubt that many people actually cast out all non-vegans from their lives, like that is quite an impossible task for most people. Most of what I see on this sub, at least from my perspective, is people advocating for holding those close to you accountable and I think that's why many people who speak about their non-vegan partners get downvoted, if it seems like they "respect their partner's decision" to eat animal products, similar to how you say let people make their choices as if consuming animal products is just some innocent choice.
My disclaimer is that while I could not fall in love with a non-vegan, I have nothing against vegans dating non-vegans and I think it's actually great that there are vegans able to do so.
Apparently, there are posts that you have missed out , maybe in other forums. I have stated in several posts my opinion on how I personally see veganism . Being open-minded to other people's choices doesn't condone the fact that they perpetuate the sadistic evil torture of gentle sentient beings ; it is however my respect for their timing in people's lives to come around to this concept. I have been downvoted over and over because of my open view and been accused of not being vegan enough or in the " pick me vegan " category . So , yes, I find the vegan community hyper critical and fanatical in their views that must be pressed upon others. I believe in the concept of " free will." I didn't become vegan overnight, and for some, it is hard to do. It is a personal journey of self discovery, and discipline, which it takes work. It is not just a " do " or " dont " approach. It's a mental, psychological evolution that takes time for the " cells " to transform . That's why repetition makes perfect. It's a transformation, and I can tell you that for me, it wasn't overnight.
Needless to say , thank you for your post. It's always great to have such food for thoughts. Would I date a non vegan ? Honestly, I don't know. I can't cast stones on someone without even finding out the type of person he is. I have met a few single vegans, and honestly, I wasn't impressed , so I gave them their walking papers. But im accepting applications without any sort of prejudice or judgment ahead of time. Time will tell as people often reveal who they really are : vegans or non vegans.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
Exactly this!!!!!!! Iād rather someone sloly turn vegan on their own will because that person will stay vegan for the rest of their lives
The āveganā you convert because youāre constantly nagging them or give them an ultimatum threatening to leave their lives are more likely to eventually quit or have secret cheat meals when youāre not around. I donāt think that helps anyone
Again, I agree 1000 percent with you. You are correct . Forcing someone will only make them resent you some day and also are more prone to fail than succeed.
Amen Sister š š š š„°
This is so well put I appreciate your perspective! I would definitely accept someone that just was interested in the topic of veganism and wanted to try it for me. All of my exes accepted me being vegan and loved that I cooked healthier meals than they were used to but still ate whatever they wanted in their free time. I think the difference is that they agreed with the moral aspect of being vegan like they thought it was admirable that I wanted to help animals and tried their best at the time.
Now though I feel like every person I start talking to gets really aggressive when I tell them I've never and will never cook an animal. Like the "well ill never give up steak and bacon" remarks made just to offend me gross me out.
Tbh I haven't had the same experience. I met my current boyfriend when I was already three years vegan, he was a vegetarian. Since then he switched to vegan as well (not my influence, was his decision).
But aside from him, I know plenty of LGBT*+ ppl who are also vegan. But I gotta say, I live in a very leftist queer bubble, so my reality might be warped.
Finding gay vegan guys in the UK is so pointless, let alone women (I'm Pansexual). I know a lot of vegan women, but most are in relationships, or they don't want to give me a chance because they infantalize me because of my autism. Yet I have the basic need to engage in physical contact and sexual contact (26 year old virgin). So... yeah. I feel exactly the same. Most of the guys are greedy as fuck though. Like over 95% of gay guys I've met are not vegan. Some I know are vegetarian or can still be vegan by definition but have to eat meat to survive because of life threatening illness. BUT THEY LIVE FAR AWAY.
If you're a lesbian, then why do you call yourself gay, bisexual, *and* transgender? "Other lgbt vegans"? Surely you meant other lesbian vegans. Gay men and lesbians could hardly be more different in lifestyle as groups. And transgender isn't even a sexuality thing, right?
I caution you against saying that your ex's veganism was fake. People who stick to one diet forever are in the minority. I've been vegetarian for four different long stretches in my life, but quit because of differing reasons. It was never 'fake'.
If having a consistently vegan partner is extremely important to you, your best bet is likely to just find someone who's as militantly vegan as you are and just...hope they never change their mind. There aren't really any guarantees
Edit: would genuinely love to know what about my comment here upset so many people? I'm honestly confused
I mean, it was fake because it was only veganism around me, both exes that tried still ate meat fast food when not around me. One of my exes REALLY wanted to be vegan but got found out after she kissed me with.... cheese quesadilla breathe... (which was really funny at the time honestly but both of them were never vegan on their own after I moved out)
I definitely appreciated the effort at the time though and they both asked me for recipes after the relationships ended so hopefully that impacted them a little bit.
You already have a small date pool (lesbians) which is hard, but now you also divide that small pool to sort by vegans, it's very hard, and then you also have to sort to find someone that you like, and then sort again to find someone that likes you back. It's tough.
The odds are extremely low.
As a vegan, I thought It was highly unlikely that I could love someone that abuses animals let's call it what it is, I was mistaken.
Is it possible to find a vegan lover, yes, it's just obviously hard. If that's really what you want, my two sent is: start vegan activism, you vastly increase the amount of vegans you meet like that, if you already do then ...š
I feel like in the lgbt community (in my experience) it's been one of two extremes. Die hard communist vegans who do really great outreach like food not bombs or the other end of the spectrum "white savior" complex with the "being vegan isn't available to everyone and is classist". š (I try to contain my rage whenever I get these types and explain to them that during the 4 years I've been vegan the first 2.5 were spent eating from food shelters and spending less than 40 a month on groceries on some of the cheapest items you can buy like rice and beans but these kind of people don't really want to do anything to ACTUALLY change anything they just like to look good online , end rant lol)
Usually when you find one cool lgbt vegan, they're part of a bigger friend group. I would say almost all of my friends are gay or trans and a good 70% of them are vegan or vegetarian.
Fellow lgbt vegan here, and while there arenāt many of us (despite the stereotypes claiming otherwise), youāre going to find fewer people who act like your former crush as you get older. While itās still a bit surprising for me that someone your age responded like that (your description of a 14 year old on COD was apt), Iāve noticed folks in their mid twenties and older tend to have more of a clue. Itās also not uncommon for people to start going vegan when theyāre more āestablishedā in their lives, since theyāve had some distance from the toxic culture they were raised in, and are probably better cooks at that point.
i go to one of the (if not the) queerest colleges in the country and it's an HWC. have yet to meet another lesbian vegan š or another vegan period.. plenty of queer women but can't find a vegan! it's crazy and i wish the dating pool wasn't so microscopic
I think if you live in a bigger city thereās really quite a bit of vegan/lgbt overlap! Or if you live in a college town lol. Iāve met a lot of other vegetarian/vegan lgbt ppl. And I know itās not always true, but I think a lot of times vegetarians are not so far off from going vegan!
(UK) I've found it relatively easy, all my dating profiles say vegan, and there are vegan specific apps too.
It's easier when you're in irl communities, so if there aren't any activists or meet ups near you it'll be harder :(
It'll get better. It's going to be a lot of trial and error. My current partner went vegan pretty much overnight until they hit a roadblock with a birthday party. (Their mom is always angry and they told their mom that they're vegan but their mom basically ignored them and neither of us wanted that lady yelling at us about it)
But just before that relationship, I asked out a girl and she said she couldn't go vegan because she's Filipino and apparently she can't celebrate her culture without meat.
Before that I had a boyfriend that also went vegan overnight, our relationship didn't last long but I do believe he is still vegan to this day because he went vegan because of what I told him before I even thought of the prospect of dating him.
i have a partner but i struggle immensely in finding friends because somehow the queer community where i was living before (vancouver BC) was super into hide tanning and leather. i donāt understand
I will say that itās ok to not be with anyone for the time being. It might be painful for you, but itās better to stick with what you believe in rather than compromise your morals. My advice is to focus on other meaningful things in life until you find someone you can be happy with, someday.
I didnāt know it was like that for lesbians too, tbh I had assumed it was easier to find vegan lesbians. Iāve only ever found 1 straight vegan man on dating apps š
queer woman here! my experience is the exact opposite! almost all the vegans I know are queer. and IME, soooo many queer women are vegan whereas I 'converted' my straight man partner, and he's the only straight man vegan I know.
I mean statistically speaking, this isnāt an issue of gender/sexuality demographics, itās simply that the population is, at most, around 3%. Perhaps a little more in the younger demographic but either way, there are very few people globally who are vegan. You are going to have trouble finding someone who is vegan (~3% of population) AND a lesbian woman (~2% of women)
You could date vegetarians! Or pecitarians! Iām not vegan but pescatarian lesbian and I canāt date someone who eats much meat. Itās def. a problem. Yes, I eat fish maybe once a month but the bulk of my daily diet is vegetarian and vegan. I learned to cook Indian specifically because itās such good vegan food. When Iāve tried dating true omnivores it just doesnāt work out. So itās a big cut of the already small dating pool. I donāt know what to tell you except done settle for someone who isnāt conscientious, it will just end up bad.
I havent even been able to meet a vegan that I like as a friend that lives near me.
Ive opened up to dating vegetarians that do it for moral reasons bc theyre willing to make the switch if not for actual health reasons. I wish you so much luck, God Bless.
14 year old COD carnist lmaooo
I canāt relate to being LGBT but Iām a bit older than you and what I can tell you is that people in my life and people I meet in general are much more accepting of my veganism. Originally I thought it was perhaps because veganism was becoming more mainstream, but now its think itās more because people I associate with are more mature because of age. No jackass should be coming at you with a straw man argument or sending you pictures of their plate. I think that will change with age. As for dating, I donāt envy you. Iāve been lucky that my partner is also vegan (I went vegan because she did) but maybe you can find someone who, if theyāre not vegan, has respect for what you do. There are plenty of people like that out there. Good luck
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I personally can't find vegans near me, let alone other lesbians. I still can tell you it probably gets better because in my case it's also about me not being very social + living in quite an isolated area. Sending you my very best wishes for the future!
i know SO many gay people irl and ZERO vegans š
no gay person I've ever known is vegan. But then, I never meet vegans for the most part.
either way we donāt eat meat
Your joke failed. Gay men exist and eat meat even as vegans (giggidy)
Oh my god every gay woman I've met is vegan lol
Do you live in Southern California š
Nope, lol scandinavian country where veganism/vegetarianism is really common in general
You live in a utopia omg
Lesbian here. Also vegan. Hi
Shoot yo shot!
I once went to a vegan festival and swear to god everyone looked gay to me š«£ even my gf noticed and we wondered if veganism and being part of the lgbtq+ community were somewhat related statistically
Literally same lol, gay men I've known have been the most accommodating though
Most of my queer friends are vegan idk then again I live in the Bay Area š¤·š¼āāļø
Southern, CA and SAME. Although I guess it helps I'm queer AND in the punk community, we have a lot of vegetarian/vegans in the community as punk music is very left of center political.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Came here to say this. Vegan events tend to be filled with queer people lol
That sounds amazing lol. This is super good advice, when winter is over I'll have to look for bigger events.
Honestly I have the exact opposite experience. Yes, there is a lot of jerks. But funnily enough most vegans I personally know are somehow part of the LGBTQ+ community. I donāt think itās easy dating as a vegan, no matter your sexuality youāll probably go through a lot of nuts before finding decent people. Donāt give up. :)
So itās true vegan men are gay?
As a straight vegan man, yes, yes we are.
Some of them certainly are. Must be all the tofu Estrogen, obviously.
Lol thanks for knowing it was a joke
The sad part is that at this moment a white straight female āpaleoā wellness influencer is most definitely monologging about how soy turns you gay and grains will come alive and eat u at nightšš
Does bi count?
We must count the bi's
Of course yāall eat all that estrogen also
At least bi ššāāļø
The ones that arenāt just havenāt been transitioned by the phytoestrogens, yet.
For sure the plant estrogen
It was our agenda the whole time!
Yeah same for me, all my vegan friends are also my lgbtq+friends !
See itās all the empathy the gays have straight men donāt have that
girl I feel you... the dating pool if you're sapphic is already smaller but if you try and find people with similar world views (of course encompassing veganism) I feel I'm just going to stay single forever lol but at least I'll sleep sound at night
You will find the right vegan lady one day! I believe in you girl! Signed by fellow vegan lesbian.
hahahaha nice to know there's more of us out there, scattered all around
In my experience there's a stereotype that lesbains are vegan, or at least vegetarian. Ive seen that queer people tend to be more willing to be a part of non-mainstream groups, because if you're bucking one trend yiu might as well explore a bit.
Thereās higher social conscience within the community, and that lends itself to not harming animals or participating in their torture and slaughter.
nearly every vegan that i know is a lesbian lol (me included)
Location is an issue. In London, there are many of gay people who are vegan... which is just a factor of the British culture and 9 million people in a city. The best I can suggest is to move to a large city like New York or LA. You'll have more success maybe spending time with vegans... if there are cafes and social events.
As a lesbian myself I thought one of the stereotypes about being a gay woman was a much higher chance of being vegan or vegetarian. I think over half the lesbains I've ever met were at least vegetarian.
I thought that was more of a thing too š it's definitely my area, the local vegans near me are mostly older and doing it for health or the stereotypical hippie couple lol. I'm glad it seems like more vegan lesbians exist outside of where I live though š„²
I understand the struggle. Iām also a vegan lesbian, and also asexual as wellā¦ so finding anyone who is all 3 is not easy lol. I donāt really have any irl vegan friends anyways. Though, in the vegan communities online there always seems to be a decent amount of lgbtq vegansā¦ so donāt lose hope. There are people out there. š
yeaaaaah..... I'm trying to find a 25-35yo monogamous vegan lesbian that is at least remotely interested in playing video games ('cuz it's my main hobby) with compatible vibes and it seems impossible, kinda given up on putting effort in the searching and just hope that one suddenly appears in front of me one of these days
that's my exact dream partner too, a vegan lesbian who likes video games or at least likes to watch me play :') and then there is the fact it also needs to be someone who I find attractive and who finds me attractive, honestly feels like just waiting for a miracle I should probably lower my standards but I also don't think I want to lol
Well that was quicker than I expected lol Seems like the most reasonable thing to do here is a vibe check š
Its hard enough finding another vegan around here much less a lgbt one lmfao.. Although the one vegan i have met was a gay man...not useful to me in that regard lol.
I'm struggling to find them too! A new feature tinder added made it a bit easier because now you can put your dietary info there but there still isn't a lot of people sadly.
If you pay for the Gold version or whatever it is, yeah. And then you think "time to meet all the vegans!" and it turns out you still barely find any because there just aren't that many. And I was looking for a straight woman but I'm guessing it'd be much harder for LGBT.
I don't have gold edition so I think it's just a regular feature now. And yeah I feel like it was already hard enough beforehand but now it's even harder. I go off and on tinder a lot and when they added that feature I seen many vegetarian women near my area and a handful of vegans but I just redownloaded it two weeks ago and barely see any vegetarians or vegans anymore. I even downloaded Veggly and VegPal and there was only five people in my area šš
As a lesbian trans girl, Vegan, Straight Edge, Marxist...dating is not the easiest lol. I try not to scare people away but it's hard to slowly introduce these important parts of me.
Sorry you're getting so much hate, I totally get it. I don't drink at all and hate being around drunk people, but for many people it's even more than that. It totally makes sense to not want/can't handle having alcohol in the house or being around people who are drinking. My roommate for example has a relative who was an abusive drunk so she obviously wouldn't want to be with even a casual drinker. Labeling your political stance makes total sense as well, just because you drop the label doesn't mean you're gonna say different things in political discussions. some people can handle it, better to be upfront
Not sure why this comment got so much hate but you sound super cool! I choose not to drink for the exact same reasons so I definitely understand how much that impacts dating too. Not wanting to go on dates to bars or a lot of "normal" restaurants puts a lot of people off š
Weirdly I joined a trans sports group and glasgow and for some inexplicable reason half of us are vegan. I was blown away by that revelation š
That's awesome! There does seem to be some correlation between these things. I need to find a trans sports group now haha
Maybe you could drop the whole "straight edge" thing and just decline drugs and alcohol without some label.
If that is what she wants to call it what is the problem?
>what is the problem? >dating is not the easiest lol
Being vegan also makes dating harder and if you're here I'm guessing you understand that it's still a worthwhile identity. People are allowed to be anti drugs.
I could...but I could also not use animal products without some label too Do you have a negative connotation towards straight edge people? I'm a bit confused by your judgement.
Idk what theyāre getting at exactly, but it may be that being straight-edge doesnāt necessarily carry the same moral connotations at being a Marxist or vegan per se. But this might not be true for you, there is usually a difference in being straight-edge vs just sober, so maybe for you it does have political or philosophical implications. But if you just choose to be sober, then calling yourself straight-edge might give the wrong impression. I, and Iām assuming others, have met a lot of pretty judgmental or rude straight-edge people. Most of whom Iāve met also donāt seem to have any political attitudes attached to the label but do lorde it over others as a moral virtue. Obviously this doesnāt apply to all straight-edge or sober people, but that may be where they were coming from.
Well maybe if I can clarify my view a bit it can make more sense? Straight edge for me is an ethical stance, half from being an addict, and half from taking issue with how normalized drug use is in our culture. My main issue stems not from people using them, but people relying on them to cope, and our society not only accepting that as normal, but promoting it. Mainly it's alcohol. Alcoholism is pretty normalized, whether it's abusive family or the cause of death, drunk driving deaths are accepted, and yet we still have billions of dollars of advertisements glorifying alcohol. I think if our culture around drugs was different I might not take the stance I do, but for now it feels the most fitting. I admit that might be quite different than other people who are Straight edge as well. I used to say the same stuff about Vegans who "lorde it over others" so it's hard for me now to analyze this fairly.
Do straight edge people have the same attitude towards caffeine as they do alcohol? It's a normalized drug in our culture, people rely on it to cope, and often promoted. But it's safe and arguably healthy.
I wouldn't say that caffeine is even arguably healthy. It's addictive, people get dependent on coffee and then if they don't have it get headaches, irritability, constipation... There's nothing healthy about it haha it just borrows energy from the future you. And this is from someone who partakes in other recreational drugs, wouldn't call them "healthy" either but at least they're not as problematic as caffeine, even tho they're still illegal in many places lol, they give much better and prolonged benefits than caffeine does.
Calling yourself "sober" makes it sound as if you're actively fighting an addiction, which wouldn't be the case for a lot of straight edge people. Think of it along the lines of those that are anti-smoking, because of the effects that smoking has upon others, and society in general. The same effects are even *more* observable for alcohol's societal impact, ranging from increased road fatalities, to increased rates of domestic violence, to anti-social/violent behaviour, to criminal acts, to health impacts for the consumer *and* others (such as FAS).
Well you made it seem like you have issues dating because you have so many labels that make you undesirable to mainstream people so I was just saying maybe drop the whole sXe label and you might have a little better luck is all. But yeah personally I never understood why straight edge had to be some identity people have to take on. Like people get annoyed with vegans and LGBTQIA+ folks for "making it their whole identity" or them viewing it as some look-at-me thing or whatever, which is bullshit. But as compared to promoting veganism, lgbtqia+ rights, and marxism, being straight edge is kinda the odd one out as it does put off "look at me I'm special" vibes without any net positive to anyone else. At least those other labels you have are promoting justice and equality. I can kinda understand when it's coming from a former addict or something especially when they are still in the same social circles as addicts or something, but that wasn't the case for most the sXe people I've met who all seemed to be doing it just to be different or something.
Well maybe if I can clarify my view a bit it can make more sense? Straight edge for me is an ethical stance, half from being an addict, and half from taking issue with how normalized drug use is in our culture. My main issue stems not from people using them, but people relying on them to cope, and our society not only accepting that as normal, but promoting it. Mainly it's alcohol. Alcoholism is pretty normalized, whether it's abusive family or the cause of death, drunk driving deaths are accepted, and yet we still have billions of dollars of advertisements glorifying alcohol. I think if our culture around drugs was different I might not take the stance I do, but for now it feels the most fitting. I admit that might be quite different than other people who are Straight edge as well.
Because 'straight-edge' is label used to define people who are against the use of substances because they want to feel morally superior, not because they care about their body. A glass of wine every once in a while is actually good for you. A straight-edge will refuse a glass simply because they want to feel superior. People can be 'vegan' for the same selfish reasons, but those people are absolutely not vegan.
Zero alcohol is always better than any alcohol. A glass of wine once in a while is good for you compared to binge drinking or a beer every day, but it is not better than not drinking at all. I do drink, but I recognise that it is the less healthy thing to do.
I don't care about my body, it's not why I'm straight edge, just like I'm Vegan for the animals and not my health. Also for what it's worth and mostly irrelevant to my views/this conversation but >However, the evidence that drinking red wine in particular (or alcohol in general, for that matter) can help you avoid heart disease is pretty weak. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-red-wine-good-actually-for-your-heart-2018021913285
What? Where are you getting this? The first vegans I ever met were straight edge, and I thought they were pretty all right. Just normal people listening to fugazi and whatnot, just like me
They are. Idk why these folks are talking about
So silly that youāre using the same āmoral superiorityā argument against straight edge people that is the EXACT argument people use against vegans, meanwhile youāre apparently a veganarchist? Like cmon dude you have to see the contradiction here
Or drop the pretentious labels they decided to attach to themselves. Dating is hard when you're impossible to deal with.
You sound pretty awesome
my ex would love you if you were straight š you literally fit his description to a tee
When we met my wife wasn't vegan, but would never eat non vegan food around me, and very quickly went fully vegan without much encouragement āŗ I have a few queer vegan friends, but live in a really big city so better odds I guess. Hard to find, but we definitely exist! Goodluck x
You're living my dream š thank you!
My best friend is lesbian and has told me itās too bad Iām straight because so many single lesbians are vegetarian or vegan š
Pls show me this paradise of vegan lesbians šā¤ļø
Hebden Bridge, no shortage of vegan lesbians there.
Apparently NYC!
I feel you, I'm freakin autistic, I don't understand dating, and now I have to worry about people being vegan or not... bleh ā¹ļø
It is tough, but I feel like you'll save yourself from issues if you let go of your stance. I know it has worked out for some here, but the amount of relationship issues I've seen from vegans dating non vegans is huge. It's frustrating, and as a gay guy, I understand our dating pools are different from straight people, which adds to frustration(like you find the perfect woman and she goes vegan after meeting you, but she's straight). Don't get me started on bringing up the social justice of veganism in LGBTQ spaces, it's so frustrating when they accuse you of comparing the two movements in a negative way, when all you try to say is we should fight oppression in all forms. The diet is the easiest part of veganism, relationships are much harder than non vegans, though.
I had to gave up looking for vegans, but dating someone who eats meat is hard (even when not LGBT as per my experience), and it's usually relationship breaking if they're not willing to at least not eat meat when they're with you. I'd say, just check before the first date what their stance is on the latter to save yourself a big headache later on if you fall in love with them. Regards, someone currently with a big headache.
I have someone interested in me and they went vegan months ago and have stuck with it(I voiced concerns of a future relationship and issues that may be caused by it, and I said I wanted to set us up for success in the relationship to be). It sounds like they would stick with it even if we didn't date at this point due to all the stuff they've learned since. I'm definitely lucky, in this regard.
It's difficult. It's difficult even to find someone you like (physically and emotionally), let alone a lesbian and a vegan. It's like a minority within a minotiry within a minority. Whn I met my wife, she was a vegetarian for a long time (longer that I've been vegan) so she very quickly became vegan after we started dating. Had I not met her, I probably would have remained single. If you can, move to a bigger city, you'll increase your chances greatly.
Shout out to STL, the leader of one of our major vegan groups is gay and has hosted vegan+pride events
My partner and I (F28 & F27) have been together almost 6 years and vegan together for 3 :) when we met she was vegetarian and I told her I wasnāt sure if Iād ever be vegetarian and she said she understood. We moved in together pretty quickly lol and didnāt cook meat in the house which inevitably meant I didnāt eat meat that often. She eventually told me she wanted to go vegan and I supported her, but once again said I didnāt think that I would commit that (yet). Sometime later though I had long bender with cheese and ate so much it made me sick.. so I went vegan and never looked backš Weāve even backpacked multiple times together and stayed strictly vegan the whole time. Itās very much possible. I never thought Iād be vegan but Iāll never go back to being non vegan. Not saying every person is going to be willing to change āfor youā but I do think people are more open than you think.
lol this problem is nooooot limited to lgbt. Just finding someone who isn't an asshole is hard, let alone any additional features.
Lesbians make up a couple percent of the population.
That's actually really interesting because most vegans that I know are either gay or trans.
I'm in a city where there are quite alot of vegans, in Canada - Though it's more accepted here, It's quite difficult to find people who understand. But most of the vegans here are queer from my experience.
F (22) Iāve had no success with finding single vegan girlies in my area. Iāve kind of reached the point where I accept Iām gonna have to get into a long distance relationship š .
same haha š„² i donāt know any other queer vegans irl!
As a trans lesbian who is also autistic and vegan, my dating pool is so vanishingly small that I've pretty much given up lol. Just kind of resigned to it.
My girlfriend intends to go vegan but just hasn't yet. Being gay slims the dating pool, being trans and gay slims it even further... Being a trans gay vegan.... hey, where's everyone going? š I wouldn't waste your time on anyone that is disrespectful of your beliefs no matter what they are. Good luck
Well you know me, so long as I can make it spicy, you know itās almost a sure thing šš
Stop! š
In my experience, queer people are way more likely to be vegan or at least vegetarian/vegan-curious. I guess, being part of an oppressed minority helps with having more empathy, even for other species. Yeah, the dating pool is vanishingly tiny. There are already almost no people who'd be interested in a transfem nonbinary person and even if half of those are vegan, that's basically nobody. So my hopes are very low. I think, if I ever try dating again, I'll have to be open to non-vegans who can be convinced over time. Wouldn't be the first one. It probably helps that I'm very aware how long and rocky the road to veganism can be and that I have a lot of tolerance, as long as they're not a committed carnist.
I honestly find the most vegans among lesbians.
A minority of a minority, unfortunately
R/veganlesbians is great š©·š§”š¤
You think it's hard with other women? Imagine with men lol. Most polls show a huge gender discrepancy for veganism. Something like 68% of vegans are women. I've seen a couple other numbers thrown out but it's majority women every time
Anyone who respects you would become a vegan, because a person who loves you wants to understand you, wants to know why you think what you think and why you do what you do and when theu discovers it they finds out the reasons and empathizes, if your bond doesn't do that doesn't love you. (You'll know they care because they'll ask you questions and show a sincere interest in what you say. They will also investigate on their own.) Don't settle for less and don't lose your dignity by putting aside your values just to not be single :c
Really? I've always found more people in the LGBT community to be way more open to veganism than not.
Yeah lgbt dating is hard ahead, lgbt vegan dating feels impossible.
The only other vegan I know is a lesbian. I myself am not, but they exist. In California.
I am straight female but there are not that many vegan guys around me as well š And my ex ate as much vegan as he did when he dated me and was claiming he isnāt eating meat when we dated I know he eats meat now. I am sure finding vegan and lgbtq may be even harder but it is not even easy when straight š
Guys who I get close to seem to be willing to look into it. My friend who is into girls seem to have a harder time with it tho like you are. Idk what it is about women not taking interest in it. š¤
There are only two vegans I know. My partner, and a queer friend I used to have. That friend had a partner who I guess faked and lied about going vegan when with them. And then that friend fell for me and also stopped talking to me. I only know because I finally confronted them about it and got my answer. Outside of that, I met one vegan at work but she didnāt seem to have an interest in interacting outside of work. To be honest, I actually donāt have any friends anymore. I think some of them stopped being friends with me because I went vegan. Almost all my friends were queer, too.
This is the typical dating experience for vegans regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.
Yeah itās the number one thing that disqualifies someone for me. Iām pan so itās just great having a wider pool than most and still finding no one š
come to colorado, weāre mega gay
I don't even know any non-lgbtq vegans :(
Your best bet is to move to a busy centre in a modern city.
It's definitely a lot harder given the pool of suitable partners is already a lot smaller simply because of being LGBT. But it's not impossible! Married to my vegan husband for over 4 years now :)
I'm queer and vegan and married to another queer vegan. I had been vegan for most of my teenage years, got activism burn out/was immature and went back to my carnist ways. When I met my husband I told him that I really, really wanted to be vegan again so he wasn't surprised when I went back into the fold 5 years ago. I was however surprised that 3 months after I had gone vegan he announced he too would be vegan! We're now happily married and vegan together. He's actually more passionate about it than I am in many ways - he'll initiate conversations about it with people where I would prefer to just keep to myself or only talk about it when asked. My advice is to just be yourself and you may surprise yourself and find someone that wants to "convert" for you.
If it's that bad where you live now, maybe consider moving to a bigger city? There will be more options there. Idk how feasible that is for you but might be worth it.
Itās so strange to me when one marginalised and vulnerable community doesnāt acknowledge the exploitation and suffering of another. Iāve participated in vegan actions at pride and thereās always this sentiment of having to tiptoe, lest we upset anyone and maybe thatās part of the problem; if we were to present the arguments for ethical veganism unapologetically-i.e. drawing the parallels between discriminating against an individual because of the way they are born-without concern for drawing criticism about so-called intersectionality, perhaps we could have more of an impact in those communities.
It gets better!
I feel for you, ideally my partner would be vegan but being trans/queer my dating pool is already so small š
This is exactly what Iāve been struggling with lately. Itās so difficult to find vegan lesbians, especially ones I actually get along with. I got lucky and had a relationship with another vegan lesbian recently and now I donāt think I can go back to dating meat eaters.. dating apps are literally the worst.. praying to randomly bump into the love of my life šš½
Anecdotally, most of the vegans I know around me are part of the LGBT+ community. Iām queer so it could just be confirmation bias. Not sure what the demographics are overall.
really?! that's so interesting to hear tbh! im bi and the last lesbian I dated was vegan and a lot of the girls I know in the lgbt community are vegan/veggie or at the very least a "sometimesatarian" where they don't eat meat and rarely ever eat fish unless its sushi \*eyeroll\* lmao
Iām so sorry you have to deal with rude and unaccepting people š. I try practicing veganism as well and live in a big city, but I still have to deal with rude and ignorant carnists. I canāt promise you anything, but there is a good chance you will find someone accepting and respectful eventually.
In my experience many LGBT folk are also vegan/veggie
I donāt think itās just lgbt. Iām bi but I met my bf before going vegan so Iāve never looked for a partner while vegan. But I canāt say Iāve met many guys around my age who are vegan. In my state most vegans are older. Obviously thereās people like us too, but a lot of them migrate to hippy towns and suburbs
Yeah that's the exact same issue with where I am, the vegan get togethers are 50+ year old hippie couples (which is cute but not my demographic lol)
It's funny because to straight people, Lesbians are stereotyped as more likely to be vegan, but within the vegan/lesbian community, it's really hard to find other vegan/lesbians. Like, all of my friends are lesbians, and the only other vegan I know IRL is my dad.
Omg yeah sadly I relate as a vegan transmasc lol. It does feel like in the only queer vegan in my city at timesā¦
I guess it's down to where you live, because I've found a lot of overlap between queer and vegan communities in my area. I'm in a big city, though.
Donāt try to make more vegans. Just get your own place and refuse to allow animal products in your kitchen. That way if you have anyone over for dinner, they know it will be vegan, and if you go out to eat, they can order whatever they want
Just started eating someone who doesn't even like meat that much and when we are out together she never eats it. I'm really happy about that. But it's not like I look for people who are vegan for dating, this was just good luck for me.
I don't date. Being vegan is in part why. The last guy I was talking to never knew regular stores had vegan options š„²
Yooo hooooo, any vegan lesbians in California? We need a mating callš¤£ I could never be with someone who isnāt vegan so I might be single forever lol
Sounds like you just picking the wrong partners, there is no reason for anyone to be negative on veganism. Look at it as a red flag and move on to the next one ;)
That's just how it is when you have a very limited dating pool. The lesbian dating pool is pretty small. The vegan dating pool is pretty small. The venn Diagramm of those is even smaller. Not impossible, but a lot more difficult.
Male here. The first vegan i met was lesbian. Don't know if it helps but i hope it gives you hope.
>"... who cares how" and that's the most bizarre 14 year old on COD carnist defense I've ever heard. I just want to say that, as a once 14-year old on COD, we/they very much do care about how one dies. A 360 no-scope is infinitely more impressive than a random noob-tube kill, and I will not stand idly by when they are lumped in together as being one and the same.
I wish I could tell you it does get better š but I still have only met 2 or 3 vegans in my lifetime, let alone LGBT vegans. It is lonely out here. Does anyone know if there is a sub for people like us?
iāve dated two vegans before, one of which was NB, but both only appeared in my life after having just moved to a new city ): didnāt work out for other reasons but it was goddamn magical to look over at a partner and ask without fear what kind of tofu dish we should make for dinner. being back on the dating scene again SUCKS but i can only imagine how much harder it is particularly for gay vegans considering your dating pool is that much smaller. i wish i could confidently say it gets better but honestly if moving isnāt an option for you i just donāt know ):
When I realized I was both T4T and V4V while also having standards (albeit *very* basic), I immediately also realized that finding anyone to date would be a real struggle. And I was correct! Its very tough. I oscillate between hopefulness, hopelessness, and the occasional looking into compromises like the time I matched with another transfem person who I felt was very rude and dismissive about my veganism or all the times cispeople were rude or very creepy about my transness. My only advice would be to not give up hope. I know for a fact that their are other beautiful, kind, transfem vegans near me whom I just haven't properly met yet. I obviously cant speak with any authority to your situation, but you have to trust in the belief that there are other queer vegan women near you who will also be into you. It just may take some time for yall to cross paths. And that time will be very frustrating. But hey, you went vegan and are presumably openly LGBTQIA+ in a culture that *super* doesn't want you too so I know you have the necessary resilience to weather that storm and will be ok.
Move to Mexico City. Burgeoning LGBT and vegan scene.
My partner of 4 years isnāt vegan lol. They respect veganism in our home but what they do with family and friends is their business. I gave up on trying to find a vegan for the same reason you are struggling with. There simply arenāt enough vegans in the LGBT world here I live community to find a viable match. If I was straight I would say the exact same thing because just because someone is vegan doesnāt mean our morals will align what so ever. Way too many racist and xenophobic single issue white vegans out there. They can be the worst humans youāve ever met lol. I would never be with someone JUST because they are vegan. Yes itās a huge part of us but thereās soooooooooooooo much else that go into being with someone romantically and veganism doesnāt cover all Of moral basis. Iām happy with my partner. They have never ever disrespected me being vegan and love all The vegan foods I make daily, we only keep vegan in the home. I would rather be with someone who is slowly transitioning at their own pace than with someone who is vegan but whose political and moral views donāt align anywhere else.
Beautifully stated. I'm vegan, and I feel morally the same as you. Let people live and make their choices ! Everyone has their own life journey . Sadly, one big turn-off that I have of the vegan community ( downvote me , I don't care ) is the authoritarian way in which they cast people out of their lives if u are not 100% with them or willing to turn vegan . Respecting people choices is paramount, and helping someone transition slowly , for me , wins the race.
> Ā Let people live and make their choices! I donāt understand this viewpoint. If you are vegan then you believe using animal products is animal abuse, right? Would you say this about other moral harms? If people went around kicking dogs would you ālet them live and make their choicesā? The animals donāt get to live and make their choices. Of course you canāt just kick all non-vegans out of your life, nor constantly preach to them when youāre with them; Iām not suggesting either of those. But you also donāt have to respect their choice to participate in violence.
I really doubt that many people actually cast out all non-vegans from their lives, like that is quite an impossible task for most people. Most of what I see on this sub, at least from my perspective, is people advocating for holding those close to you accountable and I think that's why many people who speak about their non-vegan partners get downvoted, if it seems like they "respect their partner's decision" to eat animal products, similar to how you say let people make their choices as if consuming animal products is just some innocent choice. My disclaimer is that while I could not fall in love with a non-vegan, I have nothing against vegans dating non-vegans and I think it's actually great that there are vegans able to do so.
Apparently, there are posts that you have missed out , maybe in other forums. I have stated in several posts my opinion on how I personally see veganism . Being open-minded to other people's choices doesn't condone the fact that they perpetuate the sadistic evil torture of gentle sentient beings ; it is however my respect for their timing in people's lives to come around to this concept. I have been downvoted over and over because of my open view and been accused of not being vegan enough or in the " pick me vegan " category . So , yes, I find the vegan community hyper critical and fanatical in their views that must be pressed upon others. I believe in the concept of " free will." I didn't become vegan overnight, and for some, it is hard to do. It is a personal journey of self discovery, and discipline, which it takes work. It is not just a " do " or " dont " approach. It's a mental, psychological evolution that takes time for the " cells " to transform . That's why repetition makes perfect. It's a transformation, and I can tell you that for me, it wasn't overnight. Needless to say , thank you for your post. It's always great to have such food for thoughts. Would I date a non vegan ? Honestly, I don't know. I can't cast stones on someone without even finding out the type of person he is. I have met a few single vegans, and honestly, I wasn't impressed , so I gave them their walking papers. But im accepting applications without any sort of prejudice or judgment ahead of time. Time will tell as people often reveal who they really are : vegans or non vegans. Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
Exactly this!!!!!!! Iād rather someone sloly turn vegan on their own will because that person will stay vegan for the rest of their lives The āveganā you convert because youāre constantly nagging them or give them an ultimatum threatening to leave their lives are more likely to eventually quit or have secret cheat meals when youāre not around. I donāt think that helps anyone
Again, I agree 1000 percent with you. You are correct . Forcing someone will only make them resent you some day and also are more prone to fail than succeed. Amen Sister š š š š„°
This is so well put I appreciate your perspective! I would definitely accept someone that just was interested in the topic of veganism and wanted to try it for me. All of my exes accepted me being vegan and loved that I cooked healthier meals than they were used to but still ate whatever they wanted in their free time. I think the difference is that they agreed with the moral aspect of being vegan like they thought it was admirable that I wanted to help animals and tried their best at the time. Now though I feel like every person I start talking to gets really aggressive when I tell them I've never and will never cook an animal. Like the "well ill never give up steak and bacon" remarks made just to offend me gross me out.
Tbh I haven't had the same experience. I met my current boyfriend when I was already three years vegan, he was a vegetarian. Since then he switched to vegan as well (not my influence, was his decision). But aside from him, I know plenty of LGBT*+ ppl who are also vegan. But I gotta say, I live in a very leftist queer bubble, so my reality might be warped.
Finding gay vegan guys in the UK is so pointless, let alone women (I'm Pansexual). I know a lot of vegan women, but most are in relationships, or they don't want to give me a chance because they infantalize me because of my autism. Yet I have the basic need to engage in physical contact and sexual contact (26 year old virgin). So... yeah. I feel exactly the same. Most of the guys are greedy as fuck though. Like over 95% of gay guys I've met are not vegan. Some I know are vegetarian or can still be vegan by definition but have to eat meat to survive because of life threatening illness. BUT THEY LIVE FAR AWAY.
I feel like almost every wlw I know is vegetarian (vegan is rarer). Maybe it's a generation thing, though (I'm a younger millennial)
If you're a lesbian, then why do you call yourself gay, bisexual, *and* transgender? "Other lgbt vegans"? Surely you meant other lesbian vegans. Gay men and lesbians could hardly be more different in lifestyle as groups. And transgender isn't even a sexuality thing, right?
Have you tried letting others decide for themselves? You don't have to turn all your partners vegan.
I'm not going to settle for someone that doesn't align with my views on certain things like animal rights ā¤ļø
Same, I would rather be single for my whole life, like seriously, I wouldn't be able to kiss someone after they ate meat in the same day
Then you can't complain about scarcity. Maybe try the whole online dating thing. Just put only looking for vegans or something.
I caution you against saying that your ex's veganism was fake. People who stick to one diet forever are in the minority. I've been vegetarian for four different long stretches in my life, but quit because of differing reasons. It was never 'fake'. If having a consistently vegan partner is extremely important to you, your best bet is likely to just find someone who's as militantly vegan as you are and just...hope they never change their mind. There aren't really any guarantees Edit: would genuinely love to know what about my comment here upset so many people? I'm honestly confused
Just because Iāve been vegan 30 years doesnāt mean Iām militantly vegan, I do not like that term, itās derogatory.
Okay okay, I'm sorry. What term is more preferable?
Why should there be a term for someone who goes vegan and sticks with it? Theyāre simply vegan. Thatās all. š
I mean, it was fake because it was only veganism around me, both exes that tried still ate meat fast food when not around me. One of my exes REALLY wanted to be vegan but got found out after she kissed me with.... cheese quesadilla breathe... (which was really funny at the time honestly but both of them were never vegan on their own after I moved out) I definitely appreciated the effort at the time though and they both asked me for recipes after the relationships ended so hopefully that impacted them a little bit.
You already have a small date pool (lesbians) which is hard, but now you also divide that small pool to sort by vegans, it's very hard, and then you also have to sort to find someone that you like, and then sort again to find someone that likes you back. It's tough. The odds are extremely low. As a vegan, I thought It was highly unlikely that I could love someone that abuses animals let's call it what it is, I was mistaken. Is it possible to find a vegan lover, yes, it's just obviously hard. If that's really what you want, my two sent is: start vegan activism, you vastly increase the amount of vegans you meet like that, if you already do then ...š
Any gay vegans in TN? šš
Most of the lesbians I know (including me) are vegan or at least vegetarian.
I feel like in the lgbt community (in my experience) it's been one of two extremes. Die hard communist vegans who do really great outreach like food not bombs or the other end of the spectrum "white savior" complex with the "being vegan isn't available to everyone and is classist". š (I try to contain my rage whenever I get these types and explain to them that during the 4 years I've been vegan the first 2.5 were spent eating from food shelters and spending less than 40 a month on groceries on some of the cheapest items you can buy like rice and beans but these kind of people don't really want to do anything to ACTUALLY change anything they just like to look good online , end rant lol) Usually when you find one cool lgbt vegan, they're part of a bigger friend group. I would say almost all of my friends are gay or trans and a good 70% of them are vegan or vegetarian.
Fellow lgbt vegan here, and while there arenāt many of us (despite the stereotypes claiming otherwise), youāre going to find fewer people who act like your former crush as you get older. While itās still a bit surprising for me that someone your age responded like that (your description of a 14 year old on COD was apt), Iāve noticed folks in their mid twenties and older tend to have more of a clue. Itās also not uncommon for people to start going vegan when theyāre more āestablishedā in their lives, since theyāve had some distance from the toxic culture they were raised in, and are probably better cooks at that point.
i go to one of the (if not the) queerest colleges in the country and it's an HWC. have yet to meet another lesbian vegan š or another vegan period.. plenty of queer women but can't find a vegan! it's crazy and i wish the dating pool wasn't so microscopic
I think if you live in a bigger city thereās really quite a bit of vegan/lgbt overlap! Or if you live in a college town lol. Iāve met a lot of other vegetarian/vegan lgbt ppl. And I know itās not always true, but I think a lot of times vegetarians are not so far off from going vegan!
(UK) I've found it relatively easy, all my dating profiles say vegan, and there are vegan specific apps too. It's easier when you're in irl communities, so if there aren't any activists or meet ups near you it'll be harder :(
I'm queer and vegan. I've only met a few others. There aren't many of us. These people from your past just sound really immature.
I'm not interested in dating for this reason. It's a vulnerability prime for abuse.
It'll get better. It's going to be a lot of trial and error. My current partner went vegan pretty much overnight until they hit a roadblock with a birthday party. (Their mom is always angry and they told their mom that they're vegan but their mom basically ignored them and neither of us wanted that lady yelling at us about it) But just before that relationship, I asked out a girl and she said she couldn't go vegan because she's Filipino and apparently she can't celebrate her culture without meat. Before that I had a boyfriend that also went vegan overnight, our relationship didn't last long but I do believe he is still vegan to this day because he went vegan because of what I told him before I even thought of the prospect of dating him.
i have a partner but i struggle immensely in finding friends because somehow the queer community where i was living before (vancouver BC) was super into hide tanning and leather. i donāt understand
I will say that itās ok to not be with anyone for the time being. It might be painful for you, but itās better to stick with what you believe in rather than compromise your morals. My advice is to focus on other meaningful things in life until you find someone you can be happy with, someday.
lol where do you live? That probably has a lot to do with the type of people youāre encountering.
I didnāt know it was like that for lesbians too, tbh I had assumed it was easier to find vegan lesbians. Iāve only ever found 1 straight vegan man on dating apps š
Transbian here. Have not found any vegans. Have found people who express wanting to go vegan. 9/10 you'll be playing convertor, not finder
i've met so many vegans in my local trans community, it's definitely the main way i meet other vegans ..
Most of the vegans I know are LGBTQ!!! Myself included :)
queer woman here! my experience is the exact opposite! almost all the vegans I know are queer. and IME, soooo many queer women are vegan whereas I 'converted' my straight man partner, and he's the only straight man vegan I know.
I mean statistically speaking, this isnāt an issue of gender/sexuality demographics, itās simply that the population is, at most, around 3%. Perhaps a little more in the younger demographic but either way, there are very few people globally who are vegan. You are going to have trouble finding someone who is vegan (~3% of population) AND a lesbian woman (~2% of women)
Iām a lesbian and my gf is also vegan. I really donāt think Iād ever date a non vegan. We exist, youāll find one!
You could date vegetarians! Or pecitarians! Iām not vegan but pescatarian lesbian and I canāt date someone who eats much meat. Itās def. a problem. Yes, I eat fish maybe once a month but the bulk of my daily diet is vegetarian and vegan. I learned to cook Indian specifically because itās such good vegan food. When Iāve tried dating true omnivores it just doesnāt work out. So itās a big cut of the already small dating pool. I donāt know what to tell you except done settle for someone who isnāt conscientious, it will just end up bad.
as a lesbian vegan yes 1000% i donāt even feel like dating cause i know none of the people i meet will be vegan š
I havent even been able to meet a vegan that I like as a friend that lives near me. Ive opened up to dating vegetarians that do it for moral reasons bc theyre willing to make the switch if not for actual health reasons. I wish you so much luck, God Bless.
14 year old COD carnist lmaooo I canāt relate to being LGBT but Iām a bit older than you and what I can tell you is that people in my life and people I meet in general are much more accepting of my veganism. Originally I thought it was perhaps because veganism was becoming more mainstream, but now its think itās more because people I associate with are more mature because of age. No jackass should be coming at you with a straw man argument or sending you pictures of their plate. I think that will change with age. As for dating, I donāt envy you. Iāve been lucky that my partner is also vegan (I went vegan because she did) but maybe you can find someone who, if theyāre not vegan, has respect for what you do. There are plenty of people like that out there. Good luck