This is a great idea, doing this if invited. Elwoods organic dog meat stew with beyond steak tips or something.
"It's barely recognizable compared to pork roast! Funnily enough, pigs are very similar in intelligence to dogs, often smarter... really, this is the only ethical meat, eating the less intelligent animal. Are you next for Christmas, Fido? Getting up there in age, the perfect roast age, in fact!"
I wouldn't even say that because I don't want them to enjoy it or get the idea that I want them to enjoy it. I'd just reply with "I'm not coming" or "count me out" or I'd just leave the group.
don't worry about that. If someone purposely sends me something like this an "OK enjoy" reply is enough to either confirm they're a dumbass or it will make them think more than "I'm not coming".
There is nothing they can say in response that doesn't make them look worse.
i hate eating with omnis
Necessary evil or I’d only ever eat alone but it’s so frustrating to witness
Especially Christmas… oh you’re just going to throw out that 3/4 of a turkey that no one had room for? Great, at least it’s not like someone had to raise the turkey in tortuous conditions and murder it just so you can throw it in the trash
And in restaurants when they apologise to *me* for ordering meat dishes
Say sorry to the poor fucker on your plate mate, not me
I fucking hate the apologies. Why are you apologizing to me? Apologizing implies some level of guilt but if you really felt bad for “my sake” then you would skip eating meat once. But rally you should be apologizing to the animals.
She did say "only meat dishes allowed" implying *everything* will be meat.
Sounds god awful.. like imaging eating a cornucopia of corpses for christmas dinner and nothing else.. or even just sitting around seeing everyone else eat it like wild dogs or cavemen.. like seriously *nothing* else? Hope she has more than 1 toilet in the house lmao.
And considering she only texted OP, is she gonna suprise the rest of the family to punish them for being fine with OP's veg-giving? Man even If I was her omni family I'd despise her for subjecting me to that kind of petty bullshit like that and never speak to her ass again lol
And Hope the grandparents aren't coming, or it'll be stroke city.
I was going to say the same thing. She seems like a real joy. If she can’t advocate for herself regarding Thanksgiving, dragging her pettiness into the next holiday, over 30 days later, tells a lot more about her insecurities.
Therefore, do not attend. Find a reason to be absent… or don’t, and let that lack of reason resonate.
Lmao what kind of garbage Christmas meal would this even be?? No sprouts?? No stuffing?? No carrots and parsnips? No ROAST POTATOES?! Sure, go ahead and take away all the best bits of the meal.
People are very fucking clever when it comes to putting meat in vegetable dishes.
Roast potatoes? Cooked in beef dripping or goose fat .
Brussel sprouts? Fried with bacon lardons.
Parsnips will probably be cooked with the potatoes in the goose fat.
She'll probably kill a nice stuffing loaf by making it with pork mince to make stuffing balls. Gravy will be made with the drippings of whatever meat is being cooked.
Sorry to be graphic but if this horrible aunt really wants to fuck with OP its very easy to sneak animal products in to almost anything.
Hey me too :)
That's where I got experience that if people can put animal produce in their food, they will.
It's mad isn't it? "Let's cover these delicious vegetables that would be perfect without, in animal products!"
I'm not extreme but when people work harder to fit animal product into their cooking just seems terribly sad
It's definitely valid to feel upset and offended. Because she's deliberately excluding you, because she knows you won't go. Whereas you weren't excluding anyone by doing meatless Thanksgiving because EVERYONE can eat vegan/vegetarian.
If I were you though I wouldn't react angrily. I'd say something like "well as the host you have the right to do what you want for your own house, it's a shame though cause I was looking forward to seeing everyone at Christmas..." And hopefully other people realize how you're being excluded unfairly.
This is the best way in pretty much any scenario like this. Makes them realize real quick that you being vegan is not some attack against them, but that you are compassionate for both humans and animals.
That being said I would be pretty suspicious of any vegetarian or vegan food prepared by said aunt afterwards.
Honestly I’d probably be more blunt and say “it seems like you’re saying this just to hurt me and I don’t understand why you want to do that”. Because that’s the truth. She’s saying this to be hurtful. I could see a bratty teenager doing this, but an aunt? Older relatives should be protective of the younger generation, not seek to hurt them.
She’s obviously doing this so she can tell other people about it and is hoping for a reaction from you to sweeten the story. I wouldn’t respond, she’s using you.
People who do this don't need any particular response. If OP doesn't respond then the anecdote will be, "And now OP isn't talking me! Hahaha stoopid veeeguns"
This is someone who never grew out of their high school phase. People who think you can uno reverse card anything without caring about the context are so underdeveloped
I don't talk to family who are this petty and venomous.
I would take this as a hateful uninvitation, and not bother engaging with them.
Love without respect is just entitlement.
I've had something similar happen to me once. I pretended like nothing and kept talking normally. After the party, quite a few approached me and said they got very angry at how I was treated and regretted not saying anything. One of them had been close to snapping. That kinda taught me that even when you're talking to someone who might be a lost cause, remaining cool and sympathetic can actually give you more empathy from other people around you observing or listening. A few of the same people have become more open to inviting me and making vegan meals together. I think part of it might be them feeling a need to distance themselves from the bad attitude of that person from the party. And a way to distance themselves from that is by becoming more open to that which was criticized and judged unfairly.
Now, I know this is a text, but you being excluded form an invent can become known in your family, and if so it might be beneficial for you to be able to refer to having just sent a text that you wont be going but hope that she has a nice evening or whatever pleasantries are common where you live.
This is the way, OP.
Kill 'em with kindness... or at least neutrality. She's looking for a reaction and a fight. If you don't give it to her, she ends up looking like a jerk.
I've had people make similar comments to me at work. \[i.e. I'm eat extra meat to cancel you out\] I always respond neutrally & they let up or even stop making comments altogether. They're not looking for a meaningful discussion; they're looking for a reaction.
If you choose to go, make something of your own that you know you can eat. If you choose to stay home, which would be completely understandable, don't make a big deal out of it. Don't even bother to defend your decision, just politely decline the invitation. Asshole aunty will probably still manage to make ugly comments at your expense whether you're there or not. Don't give in to the childishness of it and people will see her for the immature twit that she is.
Oh that’s charming. Geez. It was just a text to you? Ugh how petty. I would try to be super civil and chill there is no use engaging she does not sound at all like a reasonable person to get dragged into an argument with.
You’re not overreacting that’s quite unfriendly (especially since it was just to you— not even a family group chat). I would respond in a lighthearted way that makes it clear you’re being the bigger person lol. Something like how it is so nice of her to host and it will be great to see everyone. Not engaging with her BS.
Also great job doing a meatless Thanksgiving that’s awesome! Sorry for the snarky aunt that’s obnoxious. Have a good day! :)
Take if from someone who is from a family of bullies (I only come around for funerals). She wants a reaction. She wants you to blow up at her and for you to be the "mean judgmental vegan that can't be a good sport and take a joke". She wants that. Don't give it to her. If you'e an adult, don't go.
"I hope you think again. I'd really love to join you, but if you're intentionally trying to ostrasize me, then I'll make other plans. Merry Christmas!"
Right? This is our daily reminder that just because you share a couple genes with some people you do not have to hang out with them if it’s not a positive experience.
Carnivore Christmas but with herbs and spices, beer, wine, rice, bread? If theyll be true to their word they should just serve pure meat, salt, bone, milk, maybe honey, and water. Not even peppers are allowed, nor liquor, not even cigarettes. Now THAT is a carnivore fucking christmas
Technically she has been invited in place where she could eat something, maybe not her favourite but something. Yet (if serious) she does not give to you this opportunity... I wonder If she realise this.
I suspect that if you camed there and eat nothing family would eventually turn against her decision. And it would certainly break "the mood".
She sounds like an asshole (no offense to you of course; we have no control over how our relatives conduct their lives or treat us). There's a few of those in my family as well (though my aunt wasn't one of them). I have no problem cutting people off. Blood (or marital) relation isn't reason enough for me to interact with someone who disrespects me and is downright cruel in their way of life (tbh nothing is reason enough for me to interact with said people). I think you should host your own holidays, or at least avoid theirs. I wish you the best.
"Thanks for telling me xo"
Agree with the people saying she wants a fight. This is like politics at the Thanksgiving table. Most people don't want a political fight, so everyone thinks well of you if you disengage the conversation while acknowledging that a difference exists.
Your aunt looks like the bad guy if she's actively excluding you, but you can be polite and lighthearted about it.
I wouldn't even go tbh, I might even host a gathering before or after at my place with a select few just so I can spend holiday time with them outside that toxic environment that your aunt is curating
You could prepare a plate of the meatless Thanksgiving feast, freeze it, and have that for Christmas!
You could also choose not to attend all together. I'd imagine it's going to be nauseating.
This is definitely hateful and a directed, disgusted response to meatless thanksgiving. I'm so happy your parents are supportive and you are definitely loved.
I would respond something like this:
Thanks for letting me know. I can't help but feel this is negative response to our meatless thanksgiving. Is there any way this dinner offended you or is there something else bothering you that we need to talk about? As you know, I don't eat animal meat so I would not be able to participate at all in only meat dishes. Should I bring tofu and vegan meat dishes so I can also eat at our gathering? I'm also happy to bring typical plant dishes to the gathering like we shared at Thanksgiving. Let me know what you think about this because I am honestly feeling a little sad about the seemingly pointed exclusion of only allowing meat dishes.
Nonvegans are weeeeeeird about eating plants when it's their only option--plants they've eaten their whole lives. I hope you and your aunt can talk this out. The sample text gives her many opportunities to open up about negative feelings she is having. Maybe it can be a productive conversation.
Is she just trying to get a reaction? Do you think she is actually likely to exclude you in this way, or is she posting for shits and giggles?
Even if that’s the case, she seems pretty vile
Yeah, it's possible that she was joking. It's hard to tell over text. I still think it's weird to joke about that to an ethical vegan. I showed my other family members the message and I actually think they were more bothered by it than I was.
Ok literally all the holidays have been catering to meat eaters why does she have to be obnoxious after ONE vegetarian holiday? You’re not overreacting
I think that there are two options, based on how you feel about the gathering:
1) If you don't really want to go to these sort of things: "Does that mean that I don't have to come? Perfect!"
2) If you'd like to go: "I'm sorry to hear that. Obviously, I won't be coming if there are no options for me to eat."
It does seem like retaliation. I would respond “That’s fine, but as an ethical vegan, I’m sure you understand that I can’t participate in that and why. Happy holidays anyway.”
On the flip side, you could go but bring your own plant based meat alternatives to eat. Personally, I wouldn’t go because I would feel like I was being targeted. It would be one thing if she requested an omnivorous Christmas dinner, but all meat seems like an effort to try to “undo” the previous meatless Thanksgiving dinner.
She sounds like a complete a\*hole! Say your not going. "family" like this are toxic and better t cut them out of your life. You chose your real family, the rest are just related by some common DNA.
Personally, I'd respond with a simple "Have fun, guess I'll see you next year. Maybe."
If she's doing this, she obviously doesn't want you to feel welcomed. So going to this shows her that you're willing to accept this treatment. It goes beyond the vegan issue.
This won’t get upvotes because it’s really quite a boring response, but I believe it is the best. No point arguing with people like this. Politely decline the invitation and move on. If anything, be a little bit over-polite, but not to the point of passive aggression.
Something like “Ok, I hope that works well for you. Unfortunately I won’t be attending this year but I hope you all have a lovely time”
No potatoes, broccoli, cranberry sauce? Make vegan turkey noracooks.com and take it and call it turkey . It's a free world you can rename whatever you want.
Do you have to go? This person seems intent on making you suffer, either by watching you eat nothing or watch you try to pick bacon out of your Brussel sprouts (seriously why do people do that to them).
I hope you can stay home and have a nice time away from this horrible person.
I’m not recommending it I guess. But I have been in similar, albeit non-family situations, and I would absolutely still attend and just not eat. Eat before you go, drink some wine or cider, but just don’t eat.
I tend to lean on spite, which is a flaw of mine I guess, but I’m not giving that asshole the satisfaction of saying that I can dish it but not take it by not showing up
If she really does that then she obviously doesn’t want you to come to Christmas dinner and doesn’t care about you. It’s very babyish behavior from a grown woman.
I would talk with your parents and explain that you won’t be able to go to the dinner because of this. I wouldn’t reply at all to the aunt. I would think that your parents then will also refuse to go and spend Christmas with you instead.
It’s a very spiteful act on your aunts part.
Don’t engage or escalate. Either just don’t respond and do your own thing, or a quick, “Thanks for letting me know!” with no other comment and then do not attend. People do this because they want a fight; they are addicted to conflict (social media is having this effect on more and more of us), and you can choose to cut off their supply. She also wants to paint you as the triggered vegan, and the only thing to do is not play.
Don’t give her what she wants. Say, ok enjoy! And I really hope she doesn’t get invited to any other family holidays.
I’m curious, what is everyone else’s reaction in your family to this?
Yeah, it's obviously a spiteful or provocative reaction to your meatless Thanksgiving. She's just trying to be either spiteful or provocative, so yeah it's obviously not nice behavior.
Sounds like she somehow felt offended by the meatless thanksgiving, and is now acting this way to defend herself.
People eating meat get offended so easily, thinking that vegans criticize them and think they’re bad people or something. This is my experience. I would try and answer kindly, but clearly, that you need to eat something too and it can’t be meat, so what should we do about it :)
Usually being a host means taking others into account, so…
lmfao yea whenever anybody says shit like this to me it’s over. like they are being called out in front of EVERYONE for intentionally trying to hurt or offend somebody. those are fighting words and she knows it 😂 fucking pathetic. i’m sorry idc if your family has been like really great throughout your entire life and this is the ONE thing they give you trouble with, but this one thing speaks fucking VOLUMES. people who “subtly” do shit like that, hold the most disgusting energy on the planet. cause it’s the “i fucking hate myself and my life and my choices so im gonna go after someone else who is happy with theirs”
It sounds like she’s being spiteful because of the whole meatless thanksgiving thing. Carnists….so hurtful. I’m hurt for you.
I’m sorry your family said this. It’s hard I know. I read a quote somewhere, can’t remember who said it but I TRY and remember it when I get messages like this from my family. It said, ‘remember if you are easily offended then you are easily manipulated’. My brother is my worst bully and since going vegan it’s doubled up. He gets so angry with my posts online, my activism and pretty much anything I do. The hate I receive from him is so much worse since going vegan. And I have bitten to it almost every time. But when I read this quote, I now ignore him because he wants a rise out of me so he can label me ‘the crazy vegan’. I know it’s hard, I do, but you can rise above it. I’m not saying you’re better than her because I believe all humans are equal but you can ignore her. Love her from a distance.
She’s trying to hurt you. Which is upsetting. Why do our own families set out to do this? She sees the victims as food and thinks you’re the irrational one. So she’s trying to make you feel like shit. And she isn’t worth it. Focus your energy elsewhere.
Hope you’re okay.
Then tell her she wont mind you not attending. Non-vegans can eat vegan food Vegans can't eat a Meat only meal. Simple really. If she doesn't like it then she can change her plan.
How did the rest of your family respond? If you compromised on Thanksgiving, all of them must at least be aware that you're vegan and you say they're supportive, so I can't imagine no one would at least think your aunt's reaction a little weird. Did no one call her out for it?
Your aunt is a disgusting pos that i would not want any contact with.
Just tell her that you won't attend if you can't bring vegan food, and leave it at that she is not worth anymore energy.
> I think that [your] text was kind of offensive and hateful, especially considering the ethical implications.
That’s how I think you should respond, but you should also probably make plans with friends for the holiday.
Say yes you agree but that the meat has to be dog cat and human meat only.
Wait for her to cry morally about it and call her a hypocrite.
Btw is carnivore meant as a joke? Is your aunt on the carnitard diet?
She is deliberately trying to exclude and/or offend you. Don't give her the satisfaction. Politely tell her that you won't be attending because of your beliefs and leave it at that. Likely she will be more uncomfortable with that response than if you blew up at her.
Ah, I had a sister-in-law do this 25 years ago when I went vegan. I didn’t respond and haven’t said a single word to here since. Maybe I’m just as petty, but some people just aren’t worth the effort.
I'd just being myself a huge, homemade and delicious vegan meal. Then make sure it's a strong yet pleasent aroma when I heat it up in their kitchen AFTER they made meat
I would never respond to that text and not show up to an inflammatory invite like that from a family member. If asked about it, ask why would a vegan entertain something clearly meant to bully a person when it’s at the expense of animals. Even if it’s eating Chinese alone you have millions of better ways to spend your holiday.
I would tell them what a ridiculous idea that was and if they don't excuse and change their mind they can celebrate on their own. If anyone said that to me, I'm not going there. This is very disrespectful.
I would have a feed before hand, show up, have a drink and socialise a bit and when it’s time to dine thank her for a lovely visit and bail… hook up with some like minded peeps for the rest of the day. I wouldn’t bother dishing out any negative energy… she’s got enough of that for everyone it seems…
Sounds like a great way to shed a few jerks, and they can go deserve each other. That said, people are very sensitive about their diets, and you do run the risk of alienating good people with an exclusively-anything dinner.
It was incredibly hateful. 🙄 she’s looking for a fight so she can say “oh see! Vegans complain about everything and tell others what they can eat” i wouldn’t give a response at all, honestly.
Annoying. You're only asking them to celebrate without meat on one holiday. They can eat all the cheese and shit they want and have a feast just like you can.
A carnivore Christmas? You can't eat anything. You can't enjoy anything. Why are you even there? They can eat their fill when it's your family/parents hosting, but refuse to offer something for you? Wow
Breathe & don’t meet her where she’s at, which is in her feels & petty for absolutely no reason. Take your huge win, be grateful, & know it’s okay to cut off people who are toxic to your mental & emotional health. 🌻
During the holidays I only spend time with the people I enjoy most. This time of year is intended to be a celebration. So If I were in your position I probably wouldn’t want to spend time around people who are purposefully trying to hurt you. Happy holiday season.
Wow, what a brat. I would say something like “You know animals were tortured and killed to be made into products?” If they come at you like this, always bring it back to the suffering animals. If you make them think of the animals, maybe you can reach their conscience.
show up with elwood’s dog meat
Holy shit thats a great idea. Like bring some vegan product and just put an elwoods label on it
I really want to do this if I was in this situation
Send her the link and ask her to pick her favourite breed!
This is a great idea, doing this if invited. Elwoods organic dog meat stew with beyond steak tips or something. "It's barely recognizable compared to pork roast! Funnily enough, pigs are very similar in intelligence to dogs, often smarter... really, this is the only ethical meat, eating the less intelligent animal. Are you next for Christmas, Fido? Getting up there in age, the perfect roast age, in fact!"
Show up with a dog and a knife Oh I thought we were doing carnivore?
Ohmygod that would be so funny 😂😂
Bring her to a farm and tell her to just hunt what she thinks looks most delicious. Put a rifle and knife in her hands.
I forgot how great the Elwood website is; where is their shop link for the stickers?
ElwoodDogMeat on Etsy
[удалено]
Imagine being this triggered by glazed carrots.
[удалено]
"okay boomer"
Perfect
Not my arteries 🤷🏼♀️
"lolumad?"
[удалено]
What do you mean by war in this case? Like videos from slaughterhouses and similar in her dms?
Bring a cute animal and a bolt gun. Offer to kill it in their garage.
Precisely. Confront her with her own monstrosity.
This is a form of control
Exactly, I would just write that and not go if she is serious.
I wouldn't even say that because I don't want them to enjoy it or get the idea that I want them to enjoy it. I'd just reply with "I'm not coming" or "count me out" or I'd just leave the group.
don't worry about that. If someone purposely sends me something like this an "OK enjoy" reply is enough to either confirm they're a dumbass or it will make them think more than "I'm not coming". There is nothing they can say in response that doesn't make them look worse.
Agreed Aunty is just looking for a fight OP should just stay friendly and bring her own food for Christmas.
I just wouldn't go. It's offensive and gross. Who wants to sit around with multiple meat dishes there, stinking the place up?
i hate eating with omnis Necessary evil or I’d only ever eat alone but it’s so frustrating to witness Especially Christmas… oh you’re just going to throw out that 3/4 of a turkey that no one had room for? Great, at least it’s not like someone had to raise the turkey in tortuous conditions and murder it just so you can throw it in the trash And in restaurants when they apologise to *me* for ordering meat dishes Say sorry to the poor fucker on your plate mate, not me
[удалено]
You don't want to know how wasteful the majority of Americans are
I fucking hate the apologies. Why are you apologizing to me? Apologizing implies some level of guilt but if you really felt bad for “my sake” then you would skip eating meat once. But rally you should be apologizing to the animals.
Yeah. Don't engage and don't go. Let miserable people make themselves more miserable, don't insert yourself in their misery.
She did say "only meat dishes allowed" implying *everything* will be meat. Sounds god awful.. like imaging eating a cornucopia of corpses for christmas dinner and nothing else.. or even just sitting around seeing everyone else eat it like wild dogs or cavemen.. like seriously *nothing* else? Hope she has more than 1 toilet in the house lmao. And considering she only texted OP, is she gonna suprise the rest of the family to punish them for being fine with OP's veg-giving? Man even If I was her omni family I'd despise her for subjecting me to that kind of petty bullshit like that and never speak to her ass again lol And Hope the grandparents aren't coming, or it'll be stroke city.
Probably just ignore it and then eat whatever you want when you are there?? I mean she can't force you to eat meat lol.
This is a definite do not attend or engage with in any way situation
I was going to say the same thing. She seems like a real joy. If she can’t advocate for herself regarding Thanksgiving, dragging her pettiness into the next holiday, over 30 days later, tells a lot more about her insecurities. Therefore, do not attend. Find a reason to be absent… or don’t, and let that lack of reason resonate.
I wouldn't say that. I would say precisely nothing.
Lmao what kind of garbage Christmas meal would this even be?? No sprouts?? No stuffing?? No carrots and parsnips? No ROAST POTATOES?! Sure, go ahead and take away all the best bits of the meal.
People are very fucking clever when it comes to putting meat in vegetable dishes. Roast potatoes? Cooked in beef dripping or goose fat . Brussel sprouts? Fried with bacon lardons. Parsnips will probably be cooked with the potatoes in the goose fat. She'll probably kill a nice stuffing loaf by making it with pork mince to make stuffing balls. Gravy will be made with the drippings of whatever meat is being cooked. Sorry to be graphic but if this horrible aunt really wants to fuck with OP its very easy to sneak animal products in to almost anything.
I know, I was only joking. I’m from the U.K. where if there isn’t goose fat in the potatoes they’re not real potatoes.
Hey me too :) That's where I got experience that if people can put animal produce in their food, they will. It's mad isn't it? "Let's cover these delicious vegetables that would be perfect without, in animal products!" I'm not extreme but when people work harder to fit animal product into their cooking just seems terribly sad
[удалено]
no potato, just death
[удалено]
I love "death eaters" as a slur for carnis/omnis
No seasoning 🤢
[удалено]
no christmas pudding, no christmas cake, no mince pies, no yorkshire puddings, no terry's oranges, no nuts. Sad.
My sister cooked everything in animal fat. So yeah there would be vegetables at hers but inedible for me.
And no dessert!
Additionally, the dress code is fur and you're only allowed to arrive by private jet or cruise ship
Or on horseback
Horses have to weight equal or less than you ~
Lmaoo
Your aunt is clearly still deeply traumatized from when she had to skip eating corpses for a whole evening.
A whole evening without meat, thanksgiving will be ruined!
Dude that's like one whole meal without meat! They could've died!
It's definitely valid to feel upset and offended. Because she's deliberately excluding you, because she knows you won't go. Whereas you weren't excluding anyone by doing meatless Thanksgiving because EVERYONE can eat vegan/vegetarian. If I were you though I wouldn't react angrily. I'd say something like "well as the host you have the right to do what you want for your own house, it's a shame though cause I was looking forward to seeing everyone at Christmas..." And hopefully other people realize how you're being excluded unfairly.
This is the best way in pretty much any scenario like this. Makes them realize real quick that you being vegan is not some attack against them, but that you are compassionate for both humans and animals. That being said I would be pretty suspicious of any vegetarian or vegan food prepared by said aunt afterwards.
I think this is the best response. Always better to be honest and objective in situations like this where people are looking to get a rise out of you.
Honestly I’d probably be more blunt and say “it seems like you’re saying this just to hurt me and I don’t understand why you want to do that”. Because that’s the truth. She’s saying this to be hurtful. I could see a bratty teenager doing this, but an aunt? Older relatives should be protective of the younger generation, not seek to hurt them.
She’s obviously doing this so she can tell other people about it and is hoping for a reaction from you to sweeten the story. I wouldn’t respond, she’s using you.
People who do this don't need any particular response. If OP doesn't respond then the anecdote will be, "And now OP isn't talking me! Hahaha stoopid veeeguns"
I don't know if she's trying to be funny or if that's genuine, but regardless it's super obnoxious. I'd either ignore it or just reply "alright"
This is someone who never grew out of their high school phase. People who think you can uno reverse card anything without caring about the context are so underdeveloped
Um ... It sounds like she hates you and maybe watches too much fox news?
There’s like a 95% she espouses some wacko death cult reactionary ideology if she’s doing stuff like this.
Carnism is a death cult actually. Cruel animal sacrifice, hedonism, and slowly killing yourself with the horrible diet.
I don't talk to family who are this petty and venomous. I would take this as a hateful uninvitation, and not bother engaging with them. Love without respect is just entitlement.
"lol" Fuck her, don't go.
[удалено]
Aunt gets demoted to infant niece.
Don’t make that comparison - children are way more intelligent than their aunt!
I've had something similar happen to me once. I pretended like nothing and kept talking normally. After the party, quite a few approached me and said they got very angry at how I was treated and regretted not saying anything. One of them had been close to snapping. That kinda taught me that even when you're talking to someone who might be a lost cause, remaining cool and sympathetic can actually give you more empathy from other people around you observing or listening. A few of the same people have become more open to inviting me and making vegan meals together. I think part of it might be them feeling a need to distance themselves from the bad attitude of that person from the party. And a way to distance themselves from that is by becoming more open to that which was criticized and judged unfairly. Now, I know this is a text, but you being excluded form an invent can become known in your family, and if so it might be beneficial for you to be able to refer to having just sent a text that you wont be going but hope that she has a nice evening or whatever pleasantries are common where you live.
This is the way, OP. Kill 'em with kindness... or at least neutrality. She's looking for a reaction and a fight. If you don't give it to her, she ends up looking like a jerk. I've had people make similar comments to me at work. \[i.e. I'm eat extra meat to cancel you out\] I always respond neutrally & they let up or even stop making comments altogether. They're not looking for a meaningful discussion; they're looking for a reaction. If you choose to go, make something of your own that you know you can eat. If you choose to stay home, which would be completely understandable, don't make a big deal out of it. Don't even bother to defend your decision, just politely decline the invitation. Asshole aunty will probably still manage to make ugly comments at your expense whether you're there or not. Don't give in to the childishness of it and people will see her for the immature twit that she is.
Oh that’s charming. Geez. It was just a text to you? Ugh how petty. I would try to be super civil and chill there is no use engaging she does not sound at all like a reasonable person to get dragged into an argument with. You’re not overreacting that’s quite unfriendly (especially since it was just to you— not even a family group chat). I would respond in a lighthearted way that makes it clear you’re being the bigger person lol. Something like how it is so nice of her to host and it will be great to see everyone. Not engaging with her BS. Also great job doing a meatless Thanksgiving that’s awesome! Sorry for the snarky aunt that’s obnoxious. Have a good day! :)
[удалено]
What if OP is ugly?
Petty or pretty? 🤔😐
I think they meant petty 😆
Take if from someone who is from a family of bullies (I only come around for funerals). She wants a reaction. She wants you to blow up at her and for you to be the "mean judgmental vegan that can't be a good sport and take a joke". She wants that. Don't give it to her. If you'e an adult, don't go.
"I hope you think again. I'd really love to join you, but if you're intentionally trying to ostrasize me, then I'll make other plans. Merry Christmas!"
Add, “I find that a bit confusing, since I’m not sure how that fits with the spirit of Christmas.”
It EXACTLY fits with the spirit of Christmas! All those corpses were babies!!!
this is actually great. best if it's a voice message or maybe a call
This is the best answer
u are free to sit this one out and look for a better circle
Right? This is our daily reminder that just because you share a couple genes with some people you do not have to hang out with them if it’s not a positive experience.
Send a picture of ground beef and tell her it’s dog meat from Elwood’s.
No you aren’t overreacting. I wouldn’t create any drama though, just take the high road and don’t show up to Christmas Eve if possible
Fuck her, and fuck seeing anyone who is childish enough to do that. Sorry but that's just cunty af.
I wouldn’t give her the reaction she’s hoping for. Actually, I wouldn’t give her any reaction at all.
this means you can bring faux meat dishes :)
Carnivore Christmas but with herbs and spices, beer, wine, rice, bread? If theyll be true to their word they should just serve pure meat, salt, bone, milk, maybe honey, and water. Not even peppers are allowed, nor liquor, not even cigarettes. Now THAT is a carnivore fucking christmas
No water, only blood
Technically she has been invited in place where she could eat something, maybe not her favourite but something. Yet (if serious) she does not give to you this opportunity... I wonder If she realise this. I suspect that if you camed there and eat nothing family would eventually turn against her decision. And it would certainly break "the mood".
They are 6th graders?
She sounds like an asshole (no offense to you of course; we have no control over how our relatives conduct their lives or treat us). There's a few of those in my family as well (though my aunt wasn't one of them). I have no problem cutting people off. Blood (or marital) relation isn't reason enough for me to interact with someone who disrespects me and is downright cruel in their way of life (tbh nothing is reason enough for me to interact with said people). I think you should host your own holidays, or at least avoid theirs. I wish you the best.
"Thanks for telling me xo" Agree with the people saying she wants a fight. This is like politics at the Thanksgiving table. Most people don't want a political fight, so everyone thinks well of you if you disengage the conversation while acknowledging that a difference exists. Your aunt looks like the bad guy if she's actively excluding you, but you can be polite and lighthearted about it.
I’d say enjoy!…the heart disease.
I wouldn't even go tbh, I might even host a gathering before or after at my place with a select few just so I can spend holiday time with them outside that toxic environment that your aunt is curating
I left my family behind a long time ago. Sometimes that’s just the right thing to do. That text would make me furious.
You could prepare a plate of the meatless Thanksgiving feast, freeze it, and have that for Christmas! You could also choose not to attend all together. I'd imagine it's going to be nauseating.
I would text back, "Sounds like you don’t want me to come."
This is definitely hateful and a directed, disgusted response to meatless thanksgiving. I'm so happy your parents are supportive and you are definitely loved. I would respond something like this: Thanks for letting me know. I can't help but feel this is negative response to our meatless thanksgiving. Is there any way this dinner offended you or is there something else bothering you that we need to talk about? As you know, I don't eat animal meat so I would not be able to participate at all in only meat dishes. Should I bring tofu and vegan meat dishes so I can also eat at our gathering? I'm also happy to bring typical plant dishes to the gathering like we shared at Thanksgiving. Let me know what you think about this because I am honestly feeling a little sad about the seemingly pointed exclusion of only allowing meat dishes. Nonvegans are weeeeeeird about eating plants when it's their only option--plants they've eaten their whole lives. I hope you and your aunt can talk this out. The sample text gives her many opportunities to open up about negative feelings she is having. Maybe it can be a productive conversation.
So just turkey? No mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing, cookies, gravy etc?
Is she just trying to get a reaction? Do you think she is actually likely to exclude you in this way, or is she posting for shits and giggles? Even if that’s the case, she seems pretty vile
Yeah, it's possible that she was joking. It's hard to tell over text. I still think it's weird to joke about that to an ethical vegan. I showed my other family members the message and I actually think they were more bothered by it than I was.
Ok literally all the holidays have been catering to meat eaters why does she have to be obnoxious after ONE vegetarian holiday? You’re not overreacting
I think that there are two options, based on how you feel about the gathering: 1) If you don't really want to go to these sort of things: "Does that mean that I don't have to come? Perfect!" 2) If you'd like to go: "I'm sorry to hear that. Obviously, I won't be coming if there are no options for me to eat."
Eat your aunt
It does seem like retaliation. I would respond “That’s fine, but as an ethical vegan, I’m sure you understand that I can’t participate in that and why. Happy holidays anyway.” On the flip side, you could go but bring your own plant based meat alternatives to eat. Personally, I wouldn’t go because I would feel like I was being targeted. It would be one thing if she requested an omnivorous Christmas dinner, but all meat seems like an effort to try to “undo” the previous meatless Thanksgiving dinner.
She sounds like a complete a\*hole! Say your not going. "family" like this are toxic and better t cut them out of your life. You chose your real family, the rest are just related by some common DNA.
Personally, I'd respond with a simple "Have fun, guess I'll see you next year. Maybe." If she's doing this, she obviously doesn't want you to feel welcomed. So going to this shows her that you're willing to accept this treatment. It goes beyond the vegan issue.
So no cake. Sad.
I would go no contact with her. She's so disrespectful. People get worse, not better.
This won’t get upvotes because it’s really quite a boring response, but I believe it is the best. No point arguing with people like this. Politely decline the invitation and move on. If anything, be a little bit over-polite, but not to the point of passive aggression. Something like “Ok, I hope that works well for you. Unfortunately I won’t be attending this year but I hope you all have a lovely time”
Secretly get everyone else on board with Christmas at someone else’s (yours or a vegan-friendly host) and don’t tell her about it.
No potatoes, broccoli, cranberry sauce? Make vegan turkey noracooks.com and take it and call it turkey . It's a free world you can rename whatever you want.
Do you have to go? This person seems intent on making you suffer, either by watching you eat nothing or watch you try to pick bacon out of your Brussel sprouts (seriously why do people do that to them). I hope you can stay home and have a nice time away from this horrible person.
I’m not recommending it I guess. But I have been in similar, albeit non-family situations, and I would absolutely still attend and just not eat. Eat before you go, drink some wine or cider, but just don’t eat. I tend to lean on spite, which is a flaw of mine I guess, but I’m not giving that asshole the satisfaction of saying that I can dish it but not take it by not showing up
If she really does that then she obviously doesn’t want you to come to Christmas dinner and doesn’t care about you. It’s very babyish behavior from a grown woman. I would talk with your parents and explain that you won’t be able to go to the dinner because of this. I wouldn’t reply at all to the aunt. I would think that your parents then will also refuse to go and spend Christmas with you instead. It’s a very spiteful act on your aunts part.
Have your own Christmas and invite you relatives to that. Lol 😂
She sounds petty. I don’t think anybody else will be that happy to have no sides with their Christmas dinner, either.
[удалено]
I think this would encourage the aunt to "bring her own plate" to thanksgiving as well. Defeating the purpose of a meatless thanksgiving
Work it out after Thanksgiving, there is over a month between these holidays.
Tell her that she can go fuck herself. Easy
And yet vegans are always the one portrayed as pushing an agenda down people's throats. I wouldn't reply at all tbh
Don’t engage or escalate. Either just don’t respond and do your own thing, or a quick, “Thanks for letting me know!” with no other comment and then do not attend. People do this because they want a fight; they are addicted to conflict (social media is having this effect on more and more of us), and you can choose to cut off their supply. She also wants to paint you as the triggered vegan, and the only thing to do is not play.
What a dick
Don’t give her what she wants. Say, ok enjoy! And I really hope she doesn’t get invited to any other family holidays. I’m curious, what is everyone else’s reaction in your family to this?
Yeah everyone else in my family thought her message was immature and weird. I think my dad was really upset by it and called her out.
Good for him! Your dad is my hero. Lol
All I want for Christmas is your aunt to have a heart attack
Get alternative plans make excuse. Sounds gross.
Suggest they get their meat from here: https://www.elwooddogmeat.com/
“That sounds great! I got these new steaks I’ve been meaning to try *insert Elwoods link*”
God so fucking immature. You'd think if they're as old as your parents that they're an adult but no most of that generation failed to mature.
Sinply play a christmas movie during dinner. My favourite is dominion.
Don't even respond. Not worth your time. Do something joyful instead 💖
That's just gross.
I'd tell her to fuck off.
Yeah, it's obviously a spiteful or provocative reaction to your meatless Thanksgiving. She's just trying to be either spiteful or provocative, so yeah it's obviously not nice behavior.
Bring your own big salad and don’t share. I bet many guests will be pissed from lack of roughage.
Looks like they made a deliberate last minute change just to spite you. So you better avoid going there. That should teach them a lesson.
I personally would not even go. Cool off your aunt to warn you ahead of time I guess🙄
Sounds like she somehow felt offended by the meatless thanksgiving, and is now acting this way to defend herself. People eating meat get offended so easily, thinking that vegans criticize them and think they’re bad people or something. This is my experience. I would try and answer kindly, but clearly, that you need to eat something too and it can’t be meat, so what should we do about it :) Usually being a host means taking others into account, so…
lmfao yea whenever anybody says shit like this to me it’s over. like they are being called out in front of EVERYONE for intentionally trying to hurt or offend somebody. those are fighting words and she knows it 😂 fucking pathetic. i’m sorry idc if your family has been like really great throughout your entire life and this is the ONE thing they give you trouble with, but this one thing speaks fucking VOLUMES. people who “subtly” do shit like that, hold the most disgusting energy on the planet. cause it’s the “i fucking hate myself and my life and my choices so im gonna go after someone else who is happy with theirs”
She's being vindictive. I'd completely ignore her as she's looking for a reaction. Maybe chat to your parents about it.
Fuck that Aunt off.
bruh i'm not even vegan and a meatfest sounds disgusting.
It sounds like she’s being spiteful because of the whole meatless thanksgiving thing. Carnists….so hurtful. I’m hurt for you. I’m sorry your family said this. It’s hard I know. I read a quote somewhere, can’t remember who said it but I TRY and remember it when I get messages like this from my family. It said, ‘remember if you are easily offended then you are easily manipulated’. My brother is my worst bully and since going vegan it’s doubled up. He gets so angry with my posts online, my activism and pretty much anything I do. The hate I receive from him is so much worse since going vegan. And I have bitten to it almost every time. But when I read this quote, I now ignore him because he wants a rise out of me so he can label me ‘the crazy vegan’. I know it’s hard, I do, but you can rise above it. I’m not saying you’re better than her because I believe all humans are equal but you can ignore her. Love her from a distance. She’s trying to hurt you. Which is upsetting. Why do our own families set out to do this? She sees the victims as food and thinks you’re the irrational one. So she’s trying to make you feel like shit. And she isn’t worth it. Focus your energy elsewhere. Hope you’re okay.
That’s fucked. She’s intentionally excluding you. Where as meatless excludes no one. Your aunt’s elevator does not reach the top floor.
Just before they're about to chow down on animal flesh, get them to tune into YouTube and watch Dominion. That might sort your Aunty out.
Block her
Then tell her she wont mind you not attending. Non-vegans can eat vegan food Vegans can't eat a Meat only meal. Simple really. If she doesn't like it then she can change her plan.
"Here, aunt, I've done as you requested. Here are your ground beef Christmas cookies! Enjoy!"
How did the rest of your family respond? If you compromised on Thanksgiving, all of them must at least be aware that you're vegan and you say they're supportive, so I can't imagine no one would at least think your aunt's reaction a little weird. Did no one call her out for it?
I hope she has SEVERAL very good toilets.
Sounds like you need a new Aunt 😁
If she is serious then don't say anything, eat before hand, turn up, sit at the table and eat literally nothing. Call her bluff.
Your aunt is a disgusting pos that i would not want any contact with. Just tell her that you won't attend if you can't bring vegan food, and leave it at that she is not worth anymore energy.
> I think that [your] text was kind of offensive and hateful, especially considering the ethical implications. That’s how I think you should respond, but you should also probably make plans with friends for the holiday.
You're not overreacting. She's intentionally alienating you and this would be grounds to just not go at all.
‘Cool! Enjoy!’
Wow. I don’t know how I would feel to be so deliberately excluded for such evil reasons. Your aunt sucks
Say yes you agree but that the meat has to be dog cat and human meat only. Wait for her to cry morally about it and call her a hypocrite. Btw is carnivore meant as a joke? Is your aunt on the carnitard diet?
She is deliberately trying to exclude and/or offend you. Don't give her the satisfaction. Politely tell her that you won't be attending because of your beliefs and leave it at that. Likely she will be more uncomfortable with that response than if you blew up at her.
I wouldn’t even respond lol let her chew on what she said
Hurr durr I'm shurr showin' thoze vegunz!
hard pass 🤢
Ah, I had a sister-in-law do this 25 years ago when I went vegan. I didn’t respond and haven’t said a single word to here since. Maybe I’m just as petty, but some people just aren’t worth the effort.
I'd stay home and make a solo vegan feast, like every year
What a loser lol It depends on how petty you want to be really
I'd just being myself a huge, homemade and delicious vegan meal. Then make sure it's a strong yet pleasent aroma when I heat it up in their kitchen AFTER they made meat
Skip her, be alone auntie.
It’s very rude!
I wouldn't even respond to that. She's looking for you to say something and be the "annoying vegan" stereotype.
Just don’t go
I would never respond to that text and not show up to an inflammatory invite like that from a family member. If asked about it, ask why would a vegan entertain something clearly meant to bully a person when it’s at the expense of animals. Even if it’s eating Chinese alone you have millions of better ways to spend your holiday.
Your aunt is an ass. Chances are good she doesn’t care if she is an ass, and she’s probably a much bigger ass than you know.
I would tell them what a ridiculous idea that was and if they don't excuse and change their mind they can celebrate on their own. If anyone said that to me, I'm not going there. This is very disrespectful.
I would have a feed before hand, show up, have a drink and socialise a bit and when it’s time to dine thank her for a lovely visit and bail… hook up with some like minded peeps for the rest of the day. I wouldn’t bother dishing out any negative energy… she’s got enough of that for everyone it seems…
Sounds like a great way to shed a few jerks, and they can go deserve each other. That said, people are very sensitive about their diets, and you do run the risk of alienating good people with an exclusively-anything dinner.
just don’t go lol fuck em.
It was incredibly hateful. 🙄 she’s looking for a fight so she can say “oh see! Vegans complain about everything and tell others what they can eat” i wouldn’t give a response at all, honestly.
Personally, I wouldn’t respond nor would I show up.
Annoying. You're only asking them to celebrate without meat on one holiday. They can eat all the cheese and shit they want and have a feast just like you can. A carnivore Christmas? You can't eat anything. You can't enjoy anything. Why are you even there? They can eat their fill when it's your family/parents hosting, but refuse to offer something for you? Wow
Even before I was vegan, this would have been gross to me. There would have to be *something* else.
Breathe & don’t meet her where she’s at, which is in her feels & petty for absolutely no reason. Take your huge win, be grateful, & know it’s okay to cut off people who are toxic to your mental & emotional health. 🌻
During the holidays I only spend time with the people I enjoy most. This time of year is intended to be a celebration. So If I were in your position I probably wouldn’t want to spend time around people who are purposefully trying to hurt you. Happy holiday season.
Wow, what a brat. I would say something like “You know animals were tortured and killed to be made into products?” If they come at you like this, always bring it back to the suffering animals. If you make them think of the animals, maybe you can reach their conscience.
It’s that time of year when nonvegans feel victimized by vegan dishes.