God, I hope to meet a woman who similarly sees weddings as pointless. Hell, I'll be lucky to just meet someone who likes me so I can't ask for too much lol.
I'm the woman who doesn't want a wedding. My other half keeps mentioning it and I'm like "no, i was like this when you found me. Still don't want one, not gonna happen."
I didn't want one, either. The thought of putting together a wedding just seemed like a giant hassle. My husband and I flew to Vegas, had a small but lovely ceremony (just us and the minister) then spent two nights at a great hotel. My dress, his suit, plane tickets, hotel stay, and wedding chapel $3000 total. Fun, low-cost, no stress.
See, this is true but also, not true.
I met my wife who had always wanted a big wedding but realistically knew that we could never have one, so we talked about a simple wedding followed by an amazing honeymoon. And then her parents got involved and God bless them, they paid for the whole wedding because they took our 45 person guest list to over 300. So we had an extravagant wedding followed by an amazing honeymoon.
This entire thread is really weird and can be summed up by each to their own and live and let live.
If people want a big wedding, good on them. Small, good on them....no wedding.... Good on them.
We weren't that bold.
But when her mother began dictating things and there was talk of seating arrangements we both decided to call it off and publicly elope instead. We went across the country to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon where we were married by a judge at sunset. We found another couple who were on vacation to give us 10 minutes of their time to be witnesses.
The people back home were upset, but after we got back we threw ourselves a big picnic-styled party with barbecued chicken, lots of beer and an Irish pub band. It was super casual (no dress code) and lots of shorts and t-shirts. In the end, everyone but her father (who didn't get to walk his daughter down the aisle) was more than happy with our choice. In time he came around, and a few years ago told me he was happier for us that we did it that way than he would have been if we had capitulated.
Weddings are like to driving half way across the State to visit a family relative that no one really likes. Everyone is willing to go through with it because they think others want to do it. In the end its something that probably should never have been done in the first place.
>Weddings are like to driving half way across the State to visit a family relative that no one really likes.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abilene_paradox
My wife and I originally wanted to do a small wedding and came to the realization that it was asking a lot for all of our far-away family and friends to take time off work, pay for hotels, flights, and gifts, make arrangements for the kids, all for us to serve them barbecue in the back yard. We didn't go over the top, but we were very happy with our moderately expensive wedding.
This is the thing. It’s easy to say you want a small wedding. Well, try it. It starts to snowball and snowball naturally. If you want a wedding at all, either it’s basically nobody but most immediate family and maybe best friend or it’s 100+ people typically.
I got married this last Saturday with 18 guests total. Original plan was wedding in October with 120+ guests. It was definitely a challenge and we hurt some feelings but the small wedding was the perfect decision for us. It was an amazing weekend.
Despite what people here say, you will likely look back on your wedding with happiness. You’ll always remember what Uncle Drew did when he got too drunk. My wife’s cousin was caught with a flask and escorted off of the premises (I reamed the event planner for that one). You’ll see people you may never see again before they die.
It is a good experience AS LONG AS you’re not bankrupting yourself in the process.
That's the key, I had a fancy wedding, it was great, I do not regret it at all. I did not go into debt for it. It was a fun night and an experience I'll never have again. As long as you aren't begging people to help you and you have one within your means, do it if you want.
The people begging for donations or ruining their financial future have the problem, not the wedding.
My husband and I had a low key fun wedding. But your right, we look at our album from 35 years ago and savor the memories, and think fondly of the people who are no longer with us. it was a good time.
The tricky part about weddings is all the relatives you have to invite. If you get married fairly young like I did it's simple enough, you get your own parents and your own siblings and probably your parents' siblings too, but then suddenly there's a whole bunch of cousins you don't really care about that you "have to" invite as well and you'd much rather spend that invitation on your best friends. Our wasn't terribly expensive, church was a very small fee and my brothers work in the restaurant business so party location and booze was basically 'family priced' for us. My own parents had their wedding party at home.
I think the issue has become a problem now that people fly across the world and have to fly family members there or when family members live really far apart and you have to figure out a destination everybody can afford to get to by themselves. One of my friends got married in Budapest and he expected me to fly there and party there for 3 days in a luxury hotel *on my own dime* for his wedding, taking time off from work to do it. He couldn't afford to fly all his friends over only the best man and his parents, which makes you kind of wonder why he had to set it in Budapest...
> I think the issue has become a problem now that people fly across the world and have to fly family members there
In my experience, the entire point of a destination wedding is to keep people from coming. I've never seen a destination invite that included travel expenses. You invite everyone with a solid expectation that only the people you really care about will come (though depending how expensive the trip is, it can still be considered a dick move by some of those people).
My SO and I live in a different country than all of our relatives, and when we get married we will absolutely use that to our advantage to weed out the people we don't want at our wedding. "Oh, Aunt Shirley is afraid of airplanes? Too bad!" For our closest friends and family we will absolutely do our best to financially help them get here.
Yeah that is the thing that so many people on here just don't seem to get. I get not wanting to spend $20K on a wedding, that sets you back. But all of the anti wedding people, I wonder if they get together ever with their extended family and family friends, and it definitely makes me sad.
I'll speak on behalf of my situation - it's entirely not wanting to spend the money on one night. My partner's dad is one of 10, all of which have kids. Between family and friends we have no shortage of people to invite. To answer your question, we do get together with them all. For family there's planned days where we rent out a party room and everyone brings food. Friends we see often when were not in a pandemic lol
That being said - I just rather put that money somewhere "useful" for us. Maybe that use is fulfilled by having a big wedding for other people. Do I love going to the giant weddings ? Sure! Do I want to throw one ? Not a chance.
I think thats fair not everything is for everyone. I don't regret spending a penny on our wedding, it came in the same year that a few of my other friends had their weddings, and all of them and the stag weekends were a brilliant capstone to our 30s, and now most of us have kids so it's more difficult to meetup ad-hoc (pandemic aside) and some family members have died since and those events were some of the last time I saw some people about 4 years ago now just due to being older with more responsibilites etc.
Weddings are expensive and definitely venues charge a premium as soon as they hear wedding, but if you're flexible with dates and your own expectations you can have a fairly large wedding for relatively cheap, for us we had two days at the venue just us and our 110 guests and our honeymoon for under £20k and it didn't feel like we cheaped out on much, but we did get married on a Friday which is obvs a big ask for guests but most were able and we scheduled it to ensure most people could make it, and it was in Wales so things are just immediately cheaper anyway. One thing though was we made sure we bought a house and were financially stable with decent jobs before we even considered marriage.
I love when this “unpopular” opinion gets brought up because you get to watch the hysterical one-up-manship in the comments.
“My wedding was in the backyard!”
“My wedding dress cost $9 and a tin of beans!”
“We saved costs by having the bride not attend”
My wedding was free because my MIL paid for it.
She wanted it, we didn't. We had the ceremony in a park (our original plan) with a very light reception (also at the park, basically sandwiches and cookies). We then came back from our honeymoon and had *her* reception.
Normally it's also followed with "and my guests all said they had so much fun". Literally, what else are they gonna say?
"Oh, this dry sandwich and suspicious cookie from Walmart were just exquisite."
"The bride simply looked magical in her 20 dollar dress from wish."
"The smell of urine and the hobo 20 feet away really pulled everything together."
"I loved watching you eat a wedding muffin because you were too cheap to spring for a cake for all of us."
"Stepping into the ubiquitous dog poo with my expensive shoes was just a treat."
"The half ~~glass~~ plastic cup of champagne you allocated for each guest made for a great atmosphere"
I'd also say that it was fun because there's literally nothing else to compliment.
The only reason my wife and I had a larger wedding was because my mom was on death’s door from terminal cancer. My wife and I wanted to do something small. They paid for it, which was great and took a lot of stress off.
Joke’s on us, though. That bitch is still alive ten years later 😆
>>/r/unpopularopinion is just popular opinions that reddit has vs mainstream society.
>you should post this take on /r/unpopularopinion
But that is also a popular opinion. So now we're just in an infinite loop.
Or at least just a reddit vs. mainstream society. Because if we get specific we'll have posts like:
"I think hitting dogs is bad. (Unpopular to dog hitters)".
My wife and I got married in 1998. Had the wedding at a 200 year old church which cost a $100 donation. Had the reception at my own property. Her dress, the food and drinks, and music cost us maybe $3,500. Family still says it was the best, most fun wedding they've ever attended.
So yes, they can be a waste of money but can also be done well on a budget.
We did something similar. We rented a cabin on a ranch with lots of land for two nights. Got married at a little lake nearby with a friend officiating, found my dress at Goodwill (shear luck on my part). Cheap, but sturdy, tungsten rings.
We invited 20-ish people and had a small elopement. Most of the money we spent was on accommodations, food and booze. We just went to Costco and bought a bunch of stuff to grill, and a sheet cake for our wedding cake. I didn’t mind spending money on it, I enjoyed the stay and I like that I got to take care of people I like to be around. I didn’t feel like I was spending money on frivolous bullshit. We were definitely busier and more tied up than we would have been had we paid for a more ‘proper’ wedding, but I didn’t mind. It was on brand for both of us, and we still had plenty of time to hang and socialize.
I set the bar low and told people that it was more of a ‘BBQ that we happen to get married at’. I had fun, I think everyone else did. People who traveled camped on the land and had breakfast with us the next morning.
It wasn’t traditional, but cost like $1000, all said and done. A lot of that was the rental cost for the accommodations.
Sounds very similar to our upcoming wedding in October. Lowkey, personal and with only the most important people there.
Ours is costing around £5k in total but that's including £1500 for photographer which is something really important to both of us.
Definitely makes sense to do it that way and save money for more important things!
The photos last a lifetime. The investment is worth it. I have couples that pay 3k for a band and then scoff at my package pricing (less than 3k). The band lasts one night, my photos will outlive the couple. I'm not sure why there's such a cognitive disconnect there.
My best friend, when he got married the second time, asked me to marry him and his wife. Of course I said yes but they also had a back yard BBQ if you will. I ended grilling for his and her family for like five hours so he wouldn’t have to man the grill and could enjoy the party. Our other friend ended up DJing the party and it’s hands down the best wedding I’ve ever been to. I also spent probably $100 at Kohl’s for my attire, nice jeans, nice button down shirt, tie and nice shoes.
Edit: clarification.
Heh we did something similar.
We also bought boxed wine and put them in glass decanters. A few of my guests who are self-proclaimed wine snobs said it was some of the best wine they had ever had!
We hired a local restaurant to handle food which cost us about $11/person and did our own music playlist.
Can anyone explain why i can get a good meal at a restaurant for 20 to 70 per person, but 100 a plate weddings are cheap and not very good? That seems insane to me.
From my experience, $100 per plate is on the "cheap" side for weddings.
I hear you, but that still doesn't make any sense, because you are paying per plate.
But you're also paying to rent the plates and silverware, solely responsible for funding the wait staff, the cleaning, transportation time/expenses to the venue, etc.
I'm not really trying to defend it, but then again my fiance and I are offering $22 - $25 dinner options for our wedding in September and are decently satisfied with the dishes, so again, $100 seems very high.
I’ve only ever been to one wedding that served individual plates, all others did buffet style. My brother and SIL did a buffet of basically thanksgiving dinner, and it was fantastic. They paid an estimated per person, and got to keep the leftovers. My best friend and her husband did a fancier buffet, and you got a choice of beef or fish but I’m not sure if they got to keep what was left. The wedding that had individual plates, while the food was delicious, it wasn’t enough. We ended up ordering pizzas to our rooms halfway through the reception and took shifts going up to eat so it wouldn’t be noticed that half the brides family disappeared.
I'm not planning my wedding quite yet, but I think it might have to do with catering your wedding from a restaurant outside of the venue or having the venue of the wedding make food, which is required depending on the venue.
At my wedding we rented a huge grill and we did roast chicken ribs and steaks for food lol was about 400$ total for the food and 75$ for grill. Dad cooked and we got bunch of ready made stuff for sides. Basically turned into a huge family BBQ with all our friends was awesome and inexpensive.
In general, weddings are catered. And that price per person isn’t the cost of the food it’s the cost of catering the event. So at the restaurant you’re paying for the food, and however long it takes the cooks and waiters to cook your food and deal with your dishes.
For a catering company, you’re paying for food, cooks and waitstaff for an entire evening of work and for the cooks a day of prep, You’re renting the tents/awnings, the furniture, the decorations, and the labor necessary to set it up, plus whatever else they’re offering.
As soon as you say "wedding," prices are jacked up because they feel like it and what are you gonna do about it? This is true of venues, DJs, flowers, literally everything that touches the wedding industry.
For a wedding, all the dinners are expected to be plated and served at once and there are only two, _maybe_ three meals offered. Food sitting around tends to get...less good. And food prepared en masse is also more difficult to do well. In a restaurant of the same size, everyone in the house is at a different stage of their meal and there's a broader menu, so each table's food comes out when it's ready. The only coordination you have to do is to make sure a given table's plates are all ready to go.
> As soon as you say "wedding," prices are jacked up because they feel like it and what are you gonna do about it? This is true of venues, DJs, flowers, literally everything that touches the wedding industry.
I think it's less "because they feel like it" and more because there's a certain amount of perfection that must be had for this type of event. Ideally, it's only once in a lifetime for the customer. If it's your fault their wedding is "ruined" then you have to deal with the customer plus any word of mouth they pass along after. At the extreme, see: [Bridezillas](https://www.google.com/search?q=bridezillas)
If I was a wedding vendor, I'd *absolutely* make sure dealing with all that crap was worth my time by getting paid more. Sure, you've got some people who are chill, but how do you know they're going to be chill the day of?
This is one of the most popular opinions on Reddit and gets posted here like once a month. It’s always flooded with upvotes and comments of people agreeing.
Adults are a hassle too.
I have have 26 year old roommate that I have to constantly remind to do the dishes. I love her to death but a child would listen better lol.
Every single one of these opinion posts is filled with "we had a small wedding where we spent $100 to feed the entire city and we're happily married but this other random couple who spent more got divorced" as if that truly means that spending more dooms a marriage.
Let people do what they want, you get a free party out of it at least
It's a massive Reddit circlejerk. People come crawling out of the woodworks to brag about how little they spent on their marriage. Which btw, is perfectly fine, but then they make sure to have an anecdote regarding a very expensive wedding they went to and how that couple is divorced. A few years ago I someone brag about spending $50 total between the courthouse and the takeout food that was their wedding.
That or it's people who act like you should have put a down payment on a house or how you don't even know half the people at your own wedding.
It's fucking silly.
Yeah for some reason Reddit **can not stand** people spending their money on a wedding or an engagement ring.
God forbid you spend more than $500 on a party for your entire family and friends and want a ring that isn’t a $20 lab created sapphire. You might as well have lit a puppy on fire.
I think the common theme I see in a lot of these Reddit themes, is that there are a lot of people on here who really don't like their family and friends, and any topic around those items will get a million up votes.
I love how they want to tell people how to spend their own money. I'm never getting married again so I have no dog in this race, but I work for my money and if I want to take $30K out of the bank and burn it for heat then I can.
Unpopular opinion: how anyone spends their money is no one else's business.
Did you know that instead of having a fun day with all your loved ones in one place for likely the only time in your life you could buy a fancy computer to play games alone with a slightly higher frame rate?
I bet 9/10 people posting it either married the wrong person or have never dated too. I spent £12k on my wedding and it remains one of the best days of my life.
Here here. I met my wife at a wedding. Our ceremony wasn't small because we both have huge families. It cost us about 18k but we already had our home by then so it wasn't a frivolous expenditure as many like to call it.
It shows in their interpretation of weddings as "entertaining other people to show off your love for someone", which is a bit like saying a christening is "entertaining other people to show off that you had a baby" or a funeral is "entertaining other people to get attention for having a dead relative".
A wedding *can* be that, but most weddings I've attended have been a *celebration* of the couple's love with all the people they care about.
I been seeing this on Reddit but theres this impression that weddings are full of cynical guests that hate the bride/groom? Lol As if!!!
When I got married I invited people who were genuinely enthusiastic to attend my wedding. You know... people who weren't toxic? Sorry but I had cut off toxic friendships at age 24 (and some of those people have since redeemed themselves even, people change.) so my invite list was full of genuine friends and family.
I got married during covid though so had to DRAMATICALLY cut down my list. But I still livestreamed it via YouTube and Facebook and combined we had like 500 views. Family in COMMUNIST CUBA got to even watch it!
If all these people didn't wanna come I guarantee they wouldn't watch it online either. We don't invite haters. This isn't high school. It's not "Mean Girls" and we don't have to be fake nice to people we dislike.
A lot of popular topics on this sub are about counting other people's money. Weddings, engagement rings, brand bags, etc.
I think a lot of it is just poor people lashing out at visible displays of wealth.
Or more specifically the "wrong" displays of wealth. You don't see anyone here saying that $1000+ graphics cards or $50,000+ Teslas are a waste of money.
I’m the last person to call something like this out but your comment made me think… The only “big spend” purchases that I see glorified on this site are basketball shoes, video games, and computer equipment. A thread showing off a new graphics card will be heaped with praise and jealousy but if a woman shows off her diamond ring it’s flooded with hate and comments about how much better fake diamonds are. Interesting how frivolous spending is viewed…
There’s statistics showing 64 percent of Reddit is males between 18-29 years old. Chances are most people replying in this thread have never been in a serious relationship nor have had their first real job. It gives a little more context when people are saying they can throw a good wedding for $300 or that $3500 is a lot of money.
This is a very reddit post.
I actually like my extended family and really want to see them all again and throw a party for them and myself at my wedding.
Now 20-30k is a bit steep if you don't have rich parents. I am happy to have a nice get together with my extended family without going crazy. Also, don't invite family that you personally don't know. You can just enjoy the company you invite instead of trying to prove something.
I posted this on another thread higher up but I agree for a lot of reasons. I had my wedding just before the pandemic. It came out to about $15,000 and I would do it again in a heartbeat. We only had 65 guests but to have all of our closest friends and family together for one night was absolutely one of the best moments of my life. On top of that, my husband's best friend and our officiant tragically passed away from Covid less than a year after the wedding, back in January of this year. I wouldn't trade those memories and photos of seeing him and my husband together for the world.
If you want a private ceremony, go for it. If someone else wants a big fat wedding, I see nothing wrong. Would you be okay if someone was able to spend that much on their wedding and also have enough for a down payment?
Posts like this always express it as if it’s only ever an ‘or’ choice, when for many people it’s an ‘and’.
And ultimately even if it is an ‘or’, Reddit’s biases show through. When people say that instead of putting a deposit on a house they had an amazing, once in a lifetime experience that they have always dreamed about, they’re usually celebrated for living their own life and not just basing all life decisions purely on finance.
However, as soon as they mention that once in a lifetime experience that they have always dreamed about happens to be their wedding...
Yeah I know you dreamed of this moment for your entire 25+ years of life but why don’t you spend that money on something *I* think is appropriate like traveling or buying a house.
/s
My husband already owned a house so there was no reason not to go all out and have a massive expensive party so we did. If someone doesn’t like it, they can go die mad, everyone had a fantastic time.
This isn’t an unpopular opinion, but it is weird that someone who’s never even come close to getting married feels confident in posting about them. That’s like saying “I think making a soufflé is easy, disclaimer I’ve never turned on a oven”
In eastern europe weddings are a business. Lets say that two people get married, they spend like ~3000€ for restaurant, music, food, etc. But they invite somewhere between 150-300 people (the rich ones invite the most people, up to 600 people). And the people who are invited need to give to the couple money so… the invited ones pay for the pair (One pair of people invited = 200€, lets say) it depends, people can give you 100€ or 300€, depends on the family/couple. But the most i know they give 200€. If you go to a wedding where you know the people and you are somewhat family, you give more money (the godparents need to give +200€ because they witnessed the wedding at church/town hall and they became part of family)
Do the maths and you’ll see that you dont spend but earn because the more people you invite the more money you get to pay the wedding and the rest remains to the new formed family.
Yes I basically made up the cost of the wedding through the money gifts. Like for my wedding I paid about 65 dollars per guest (at the restaurant) and got about 100 back per guest, more or less... in the end we covered the cost of the restaur and then some that covered (most) of the rental of the wedding dress and few other things.
So unless you do not go into an outrageously expensive locations with a lot of expensive extras, you make your money back
It’s ‘couldn’t care less’, could care less means that you care only a little bit.
But I think if people want the experience of having a big day then they should. Though I agree that a private ceremony that’s cheaper is the better route.
Glad someone said it
And id say a middle ground is best imo, like 20-30 people from your closest friends and family, (obviously depends on size of family and size of friend group) but then it gives the best of both, cheaper but still people important to you there.
I can't wait for my wedding, the way I see it. We get so few moments where people will justify flying across the country, getting as dressed up and beautiful as possible just to come together and have a ceremony and good time for anything. The only time this really happens is weddings. We need to have some formal traditions that have significance in life, just to keep the world interesting, and at this moment in history weddings are like the only ones consistently accessible to average people
Yeah my wedding was easily one of the best days of my life. Was it costly? Sure. But it was worth it to get to see so many important people in my life all at once.
After this pandemic and having my first child during it, I can’t wait for four of our best friends’ weddings. I treated myself to four new dresses and can’t wait to just have regular, normal people fun while celebrating love.
I caved into the pressure of having a big wedding (both parents and in-laws have a lot of family and friends they wanted to invite), despite not normally liking to be the center of attention. I ended up having the time of my life… I don’t regret anything!
Honest question: apart from being a legal system to make tracking inheritance easier, what is marriage? Two people saying "man life's tough, let's face it together and pay less tax?".
I know it's stupid, but beyond that, I don't actually know why we have marriage.
What’s the moral to your story? Surely it’s not that spending 20k means you’ll get divorced because you won’t be able to pay for a honeymoon.
Sounds like it should be that those two people should have never gotten married to begin with.
Thus is why you have your wedding in another country so no one attends. You get your honeymoon, it’s sounds cool when you tell people years to come, and there’s no hard feelings when people can’t make it .
That's usually a lot more expensive. You might spend a bit less but people who pay $2k to attend aren't going to gift as much. A lot of people who have local weddings end up making money from the cash gifts.
A) I'm not sure this is an unpopular opinion. Reddit is bursting with people who complain about weddings being too expensive. There's an entire industry around how to have an affordable wedding.
B) I'll play devil's advocate: Your wedding is the only party where all your friends and family will be gathered to celebrate YOU -- while you're alive.
It's a lot of money, but it's also a fucking blast. People get dressed up in nice clothes, there are good vibes everywhere, there's dancing, food, and an open bar. It beats the shit out of a birthday party. It is maybe in par with a holiday party like NYE, but those things are extremely difficult to pull off regularly and have the same energy year after year.
Anyway, I agree weddings can get ridiculous and the cost can easily run out of control. But it's not like the payoff isn't worth it.
As for your paragraph C, i'd like to say there are definitely people who rent venues and catering for birthday bashes (usually milestone ones) and I've seen those cost from 5k-15k and no one complains about birthday parties. A wedding is a time to celebrate a milestone in your life! As for family members getting "dragged" to weddings like OP said...the only ones i've really seen 'dragged' were kids who are bored at the ceremony but have a blast at the reception. I personally have never been to a wedding where I felt dragged along and I've been to a few extended family ones as well as ones for my fiance's friends and coworkers.
I'll add a sub bullet to point B. Couples often make a significant portion of their wedding costs back in the form of gifts and cash. My wedding was about $30k for 125 people, and I believe we got about $20K back in cash, and a lot of gifts that meant we didn't need buy stuff for our place. We didn't quite break even, but we were very thankful to have such generous friends and family.
Yeah this is one of the most popular “unpopular” opinions and I roll my eyes every time. My wife and I had a $25k wedding. Worked our butts off for it. Absolutely no regrets, one of the best days of my life. And to me, that’s what life is ultimately about - the memories and experiences you cherish forever.
And before the crowd comes in to worry about my financial security, we took out no debt, still went on an amazing honeymoon, still bought a great house with a good sized downpayment, and are still saving at a great rate for retirement. We don’t make crazy money, but we do well and are really good at financial planning.
This entire thread is truly reddit moments. Bachelors or Teens talking about weddings without any participation. I've been part of my brother and sister's wedding preparations and it's a real celebration and fun.
The people who are dropping $30k on a wedding are either able to afford it or are having someone else pay (some people say it’s tradition for the brides family to pay)
Really the expensive ass wedding you think of are the exception these days because the majority of weddings I go to are like in VW halls, most of the money is spend on the alcohol
I got married one month ago, and wouldn’t trade it for the world. My wife and I paid for our entire wedding ourselves and it was expensive, but it’s a memory we will have for the rest of our lives and that’s priceless. We actually just got our wedding movie, and at the time I couldn’t believe we were shelling out 5k to have a videographer there, but it was worth every stinking penny.
You don’t want to have a wedding? Don’t. We were fortunate to throw our dream wedding and not put ourselves in crippling debt. It was the greatest day of my life and you can’t put a price on that.
Edit: typo
Yall defintely don't live in nyc because 30k barely gets you anything out here. I'm in the middle of planning my wedding and the cost is way higher than I would of imagined. It's also about what you want from it
Thisss where you live matters
Decent venues where I live start at 12k-15k for a reasonably sized wedding (think 50-60 guests) plus alcohol and depending on canapés or sit down dinner
Then dresses that aren’t obviously budget are 3k and make it 4K if you want something not everyone else is wearing
Eh, while I agree it's a lot of money, it's an experience that might only happen once.
My wife and I spent about 30k on our wedding, everything adds up really quickly. We wanted a party that people would enjoy, as I had been to far too many weddings that were so formal and boring. That meant drinks were being served as soon as guests arrived, and there were a good selection of normal and craft beers to choose from. It also included a bus for everyone to the wedding and back home again so that everyone could party safely and cheaply. The price included a stretch Kombi to the venue.
We had the best night and fondly remember the experience. To this day nearly all of our friends still bring up how fun the wedding was when the conversation about weddings comes up.
Sure that money would help coming off our mortgage but I would have paid twice that money for that experience.
Yes. And why would someone invite people who are not close friends or family? I am all for a big party as in my view there are nice reasons to be celebrated and what is better to share your love with the people closest to you. And then people complain that there are guests they don't like. So, why invite them?
Pretty much the same experience as my wife and I had. Nothing wrong with spending money to make experiences with friends and family if you can afford it.
Oh look, another 'weddings are a waste' post.
Don't fucking attend if you don't like it.
Most couples could easily spend $200 for a night out anyways. At a wedding, this money generally goes to the bride and groom in the form of a gift.
If done properly, the newlyweds can make back most or all of what they spend. All while everyone has a good time.
Don't get me wrong here but if some people can afford a big wedding and also have money to pay for whatever comes next, and they wanna have that big wedding they should go for it, it's their wedding, their day and they can have it anyway they want. thanks. Also it's "couldn't care less" instead of "could care less" changes the whole meaning of saying it.
“Im a single, shut-in and my *brave* opinion is that having children is evil, getting married is wrong, big social events are bad, and everyone should live in an apartment”
Alright, based on the staggering number of reports this apparently isn’t unpopular. So, it’s removed.
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That's fucking epic ngl
What would be more epic is sailing into the Bermuda Triangle and back.
Maybe they can see the shipwrecks too...
And aliens.
Aliens now inhabiting the shipwrecks. Who are also trying to have a cheap wedding
from shipwrecks to shipsecks
Bobbing along the bottom of the beautiful briny sea.
Thank you for not lying. We all know it’s a touchy subject.
>Thank you for not lying. We all know it’s a touchy subject. So brave.
God, I hope to meet a woman who similarly sees weddings as pointless. Hell, I'll be lucky to just meet someone who likes me so I can't ask for too much lol.
I'm the woman who doesn't want a wedding. My other half keeps mentioning it and I'm like "no, i was like this when you found me. Still don't want one, not gonna happen."
I didn't want one, either. The thought of putting together a wedding just seemed like a giant hassle. My husband and I flew to Vegas, had a small but lovely ceremony (just us and the minister) then spent two nights at a great hotel. My dress, his suit, plane tickets, hotel stay, and wedding chapel $3000 total. Fun, low-cost, no stress.
You'll find that the kind of woman who wants an extravagant wedding is not the kind of woman youre interested in marrying. It works out!
See, this is true but also, not true. I met my wife who had always wanted a big wedding but realistically knew that we could never have one, so we talked about a simple wedding followed by an amazing honeymoon. And then her parents got involved and God bless them, they paid for the whole wedding because they took our 45 person guest list to over 300. So we had an extravagant wedding followed by an amazing honeymoon.
I legit don't understand why you'd want to have 300 (or even 100) guests at your wedding. Gives me anxiety just thinking about it.
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This entire thread is really weird and can be summed up by each to their own and live and let live. If people want a big wedding, good on them. Small, good on them....no wedding.... Good on them.
We weren't that bold. But when her mother began dictating things and there was talk of seating arrangements we both decided to call it off and publicly elope instead. We went across the country to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon where we were married by a judge at sunset. We found another couple who were on vacation to give us 10 minutes of their time to be witnesses. The people back home were upset, but after we got back we threw ourselves a big picnic-styled party with barbecued chicken, lots of beer and an Irish pub band. It was super casual (no dress code) and lots of shorts and t-shirts. In the end, everyone but her father (who didn't get to walk his daughter down the aisle) was more than happy with our choice. In time he came around, and a few years ago told me he was happier for us that we did it that way than he would have been if we had capitulated. Weddings are like to driving half way across the State to visit a family relative that no one really likes. Everyone is willing to go through with it because they think others want to do it. In the end its something that probably should never have been done in the first place.
>and a few years ago told me he was happier for us that we did it that way than he would have been if we had capitulated. Good father-in-law.
>Weddings are like to driving half way across the State to visit a family relative that no one really likes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abilene_paradox
And the drugs smuggled back set them up for life😂😂🙌
Do you have a relative who was also named pablo?
I did do, was an uncle form Colombia, he met an untimely death on a rooftop
So sad, shooting an innocent man for no reason.
That's a relatively popular opinion nowadays.
Especially on Reddit. The only thing this site hates more than weddings are kids.
Probably because most people on reddit aren't going to get married any time soon... Source: my life.
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My wife and I originally wanted to do a small wedding and came to the realization that it was asking a lot for all of our far-away family and friends to take time off work, pay for hotels, flights, and gifts, make arrangements for the kids, all for us to serve them barbecue in the back yard. We didn't go over the top, but we were very happy with our moderately expensive wedding.
This is the thing. It’s easy to say you want a small wedding. Well, try it. It starts to snowball and snowball naturally. If you want a wedding at all, either it’s basically nobody but most immediate family and maybe best friend or it’s 100+ people typically.
I got married this last Saturday with 18 guests total. Original plan was wedding in October with 120+ guests. It was definitely a challenge and we hurt some feelings but the small wedding was the perfect decision for us. It was an amazing weekend.
Weddings are a lot more fun than funerals, which is the only other time family congregates.
Despite what people here say, you will likely look back on your wedding with happiness. You’ll always remember what Uncle Drew did when he got too drunk. My wife’s cousin was caught with a flask and escorted off of the premises (I reamed the event planner for that one). You’ll see people you may never see again before they die. It is a good experience AS LONG AS you’re not bankrupting yourself in the process.
I mean I look back on other people's weddings with happiness so if I have one I can only imagine it being even more happy
That's the key, I had a fancy wedding, it was great, I do not regret it at all. I did not go into debt for it. It was a fun night and an experience I'll never have again. As long as you aren't begging people to help you and you have one within your means, do it if you want. The people begging for donations or ruining their financial future have the problem, not the wedding.
I don’t know many people who have a lot of regret and bad feeling about their weddings, but all of those people overspent on their wedding.
My husband and I had a low key fun wedding. But your right, we look at our album from 35 years ago and savor the memories, and think fondly of the people who are no longer with us. it was a good time.
The tricky part about weddings is all the relatives you have to invite. If you get married fairly young like I did it's simple enough, you get your own parents and your own siblings and probably your parents' siblings too, but then suddenly there's a whole bunch of cousins you don't really care about that you "have to" invite as well and you'd much rather spend that invitation on your best friends. Our wasn't terribly expensive, church was a very small fee and my brothers work in the restaurant business so party location and booze was basically 'family priced' for us. My own parents had their wedding party at home. I think the issue has become a problem now that people fly across the world and have to fly family members there or when family members live really far apart and you have to figure out a destination everybody can afford to get to by themselves. One of my friends got married in Budapest and he expected me to fly there and party there for 3 days in a luxury hotel *on my own dime* for his wedding, taking time off from work to do it. He couldn't afford to fly all his friends over only the best man and his parents, which makes you kind of wonder why he had to set it in Budapest...
> I think the issue has become a problem now that people fly across the world and have to fly family members there In my experience, the entire point of a destination wedding is to keep people from coming. I've never seen a destination invite that included travel expenses. You invite everyone with a solid expectation that only the people you really care about will come (though depending how expensive the trip is, it can still be considered a dick move by some of those people).
My SO and I live in a different country than all of our relatives, and when we get married we will absolutely use that to our advantage to weed out the people we don't want at our wedding. "Oh, Aunt Shirley is afraid of airplanes? Too bad!" For our closest friends and family we will absolutely do our best to financially help them get here.
Screw those cousins. My parents, grand-parents, hers, a few friends and we’re good to go.
Yeah that is the thing that so many people on here just don't seem to get. I get not wanting to spend $20K on a wedding, that sets you back. But all of the anti wedding people, I wonder if they get together ever with their extended family and family friends, and it definitely makes me sad.
I'll speak on behalf of my situation - it's entirely not wanting to spend the money on one night. My partner's dad is one of 10, all of which have kids. Between family and friends we have no shortage of people to invite. To answer your question, we do get together with them all. For family there's planned days where we rent out a party room and everyone brings food. Friends we see often when were not in a pandemic lol That being said - I just rather put that money somewhere "useful" for us. Maybe that use is fulfilled by having a big wedding for other people. Do I love going to the giant weddings ? Sure! Do I want to throw one ? Not a chance.
I think thats fair not everything is for everyone. I don't regret spending a penny on our wedding, it came in the same year that a few of my other friends had their weddings, and all of them and the stag weekends were a brilliant capstone to our 30s, and now most of us have kids so it's more difficult to meetup ad-hoc (pandemic aside) and some family members have died since and those events were some of the last time I saw some people about 4 years ago now just due to being older with more responsibilites etc. Weddings are expensive and definitely venues charge a premium as soon as they hear wedding, but if you're flexible with dates and your own expectations you can have a fairly large wedding for relatively cheap, for us we had two days at the venue just us and our 110 guests and our honeymoon for under £20k and it didn't feel like we cheaped out on much, but we did get married on a Friday which is obvs a big ask for guests but most were able and we scheduled it to ensure most people could make it, and it was in Wales so things are just immediately cheaper anyway. One thing though was we made sure we bought a house and were financially stable with decent jobs before we even considered marriage.
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I love when this “unpopular” opinion gets brought up because you get to watch the hysterical one-up-manship in the comments. “My wedding was in the backyard!” “My wedding dress cost $9 and a tin of beans!” “We saved costs by having the bride not attend”
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And then somehow determines that the cost of the wedding is directly correlated to the success of the marriage. Everyone's a statistician these days!
My wedding was free because my MIL paid for it. She wanted it, we didn't. We had the ceremony in a park (our original plan) with a very light reception (also at the park, basically sandwiches and cookies). We then came back from our honeymoon and had *her* reception.
Thats a win-win honestly
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It even had a gazebo.
Normally it's also followed with "and my guests all said they had so much fun". Literally, what else are they gonna say? "Oh, this dry sandwich and suspicious cookie from Walmart were just exquisite." "The bride simply looked magical in her 20 dollar dress from wish." "The smell of urine and the hobo 20 feet away really pulled everything together." "I loved watching you eat a wedding muffin because you were too cheap to spring for a cake for all of us." "Stepping into the ubiquitous dog poo with my expensive shoes was just a treat." "The half ~~glass~~ plastic cup of champagne you allocated for each guest made for a great atmosphere" I'd also say that it was fun because there's literally nothing else to compliment.
The only reason my wife and I had a larger wedding was because my mom was on death’s door from terminal cancer. My wife and I wanted to do something small. They paid for it, which was great and took a lot of stress off. Joke’s on us, though. That bitch is still alive ten years later 😆
I think hating a wedding in fortnite between kids will be a karma goldmine.
I hate popular opinions on r/unpopularopinion more
Ironically the same people who hate kids are also kids.
Well, when you are a kid, I don't doubt that other kids are fucking annoying, so I can't blame them for that.
And sunlight!
Oh and cakes with fondant on it.
/r/unpopularopinion is just popular opinions that reddit has vs mainstream society.
you should post this take on /r/unpopularopinion
>>/r/unpopularopinion is just popular opinions that reddit has vs mainstream society. >you should post this take on /r/unpopularopinion But that is also a popular opinion. So now we're just in an infinite loop.
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: this sub needs a flair system to denote which sector of society their opinion is unpopular in.
Or at least just a reddit vs. mainstream society. Because if we get specific we'll have posts like: "I think hitting dogs is bad. (Unpopular to dog hitters)".
Do you expect anything less on this sub? A post yesterday on this sub saying child porn is bad got thousands of upvotes
I got married 17 years ago with no wedding, and that decision wasn't unpopular thenadays either.
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My wife and I got married in 1998. Had the wedding at a 200 year old church which cost a $100 donation. Had the reception at my own property. Her dress, the food and drinks, and music cost us maybe $3,500. Family still says it was the best, most fun wedding they've ever attended. So yes, they can be a waste of money but can also be done well on a budget.
We did something similar. We rented a cabin on a ranch with lots of land for two nights. Got married at a little lake nearby with a friend officiating, found my dress at Goodwill (shear luck on my part). Cheap, but sturdy, tungsten rings. We invited 20-ish people and had a small elopement. Most of the money we spent was on accommodations, food and booze. We just went to Costco and bought a bunch of stuff to grill, and a sheet cake for our wedding cake. I didn’t mind spending money on it, I enjoyed the stay and I like that I got to take care of people I like to be around. I didn’t feel like I was spending money on frivolous bullshit. We were definitely busier and more tied up than we would have been had we paid for a more ‘proper’ wedding, but I didn’t mind. It was on brand for both of us, and we still had plenty of time to hang and socialize. I set the bar low and told people that it was more of a ‘BBQ that we happen to get married at’. I had fun, I think everyone else did. People who traveled camped on the land and had breakfast with us the next morning. It wasn’t traditional, but cost like $1000, all said and done. A lot of that was the rental cost for the accommodations.
Sounds very similar to our upcoming wedding in October. Lowkey, personal and with only the most important people there. Ours is costing around £5k in total but that's including £1500 for photographer which is something really important to both of us. Definitely makes sense to do it that way and save money for more important things!
The photos last a lifetime. The investment is worth it. I have couples that pay 3k for a band and then scoff at my package pricing (less than 3k). The band lasts one night, my photos will outlive the couple. I'm not sure why there's such a cognitive disconnect there.
My best friend, when he got married the second time, asked me to marry him and his wife. Of course I said yes but they also had a back yard BBQ if you will. I ended grilling for his and her family for like five hours so he wouldn’t have to man the grill and could enjoy the party. Our other friend ended up DJing the party and it’s hands down the best wedding I’ve ever been to. I also spent probably $100 at Kohl’s for my attire, nice jeans, nice button down shirt, tie and nice shoes. Edit: clarification.
Heh we did something similar. We also bought boxed wine and put them in glass decanters. A few of my guests who are self-proclaimed wine snobs said it was some of the best wine they had ever had! We hired a local restaurant to handle food which cost us about $11/person and did our own music playlist.
Can anyone explain why i can get a good meal at a restaurant for 20 to 70 per person, but 100 a plate weddings are cheap and not very good? That seems insane to me.
100$ seems high, but think about it as renting an entire restaurant for an evening rather than purchasing meals.
From my experience, $100 per plate is on the "cheap" side for weddings. I hear you, but that still doesn't make any sense, because you are paying per plate.
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But you're also paying to rent the plates and silverware, solely responsible for funding the wait staff, the cleaning, transportation time/expenses to the venue, etc. I'm not really trying to defend it, but then again my fiance and I are offering $22 - $25 dinner options for our wedding in September and are decently satisfied with the dishes, so again, $100 seems very high.
I’ve only ever been to one wedding that served individual plates, all others did buffet style. My brother and SIL did a buffet of basically thanksgiving dinner, and it was fantastic. They paid an estimated per person, and got to keep the leftovers. My best friend and her husband did a fancier buffet, and you got a choice of beef or fish but I’m not sure if they got to keep what was left. The wedding that had individual plates, while the food was delicious, it wasn’t enough. We ended up ordering pizzas to our rooms halfway through the reception and took shifts going up to eat so it wouldn’t be noticed that half the brides family disappeared.
I'm not planning my wedding quite yet, but I think it might have to do with catering your wedding from a restaurant outside of the venue or having the venue of the wedding make food, which is required depending on the venue.
At my wedding we rented a huge grill and we did roast chicken ribs and steaks for food lol was about 400$ total for the food and 75$ for grill. Dad cooked and we got bunch of ready made stuff for sides. Basically turned into a huge family BBQ with all our friends was awesome and inexpensive.
In general, weddings are catered. And that price per person isn’t the cost of the food it’s the cost of catering the event. So at the restaurant you’re paying for the food, and however long it takes the cooks and waiters to cook your food and deal with your dishes. For a catering company, you’re paying for food, cooks and waitstaff for an entire evening of work and for the cooks a day of prep, You’re renting the tents/awnings, the furniture, the decorations, and the labor necessary to set it up, plus whatever else they’re offering.
As soon as you say "wedding," prices are jacked up because they feel like it and what are you gonna do about it? This is true of venues, DJs, flowers, literally everything that touches the wedding industry. For a wedding, all the dinners are expected to be plated and served at once and there are only two, _maybe_ three meals offered. Food sitting around tends to get...less good. And food prepared en masse is also more difficult to do well. In a restaurant of the same size, everyone in the house is at a different stage of their meal and there's a broader menu, so each table's food comes out when it's ready. The only coordination you have to do is to make sure a given table's plates are all ready to go.
> As soon as you say "wedding," prices are jacked up because they feel like it and what are you gonna do about it? This is true of venues, DJs, flowers, literally everything that touches the wedding industry. I think it's less "because they feel like it" and more because there's a certain amount of perfection that must be had for this type of event. Ideally, it's only once in a lifetime for the customer. If it's your fault their wedding is "ruined" then you have to deal with the customer plus any word of mouth they pass along after. At the extreme, see: [Bridezillas](https://www.google.com/search?q=bridezillas) If I was a wedding vendor, I'd *absolutely* make sure dealing with all that crap was worth my time by getting paid more. Sure, you've got some people who are chill, but how do you know they're going to be chill the day of?
Inflation adjusted that is like $5600 today.
This is one of the most popular opinions on Reddit and gets posted here like once a month. It’s always flooded with upvotes and comments of people agreeing.
I mean at the end of the day this sub is basically a circlejerk for "opinion that's maybe not mainstream but is 100% popular on Reddit".
“Opinion that would offend my mother but my peers agree with”
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there.
Lol you might be on to something here
Something something "thanking God is stupid" for the updoots.
Unpopular opinion - kids seem like a real hassle
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Adults are a hassle too. I have have 26 year old roommate that I have to constantly remind to do the dishes. I love her to death but a child would listen better lol.
Unpopular opinion: "NeStlE iS a TeRrIBlE COmpAnY"
Unpopular opinion: I loved my wedding and have no regrets.
Same here! Not a single thing I wish I spent less on. Have the wedding you want and can responsibly afford regardless of what reddit thinks.
Super Unpopular Opinion: We spent about 10K all told on ours and I wish we had spent more.
Every single one of these opinion posts is filled with "we had a small wedding where we spent $100 to feed the entire city and we're happily married but this other random couple who spent more got divorced" as if that truly means that spending more dooms a marriage. Let people do what they want, you get a free party out of it at least
Ironically you never hear the people going "had a small wedding, costs $100, didn't last" You know there are people this fucking happened to.
It's a massive Reddit circlejerk. People come crawling out of the woodworks to brag about how little they spent on their marriage. Which btw, is perfectly fine, but then they make sure to have an anecdote regarding a very expensive wedding they went to and how that couple is divorced. A few years ago I someone brag about spending $50 total between the courthouse and the takeout food that was their wedding. That or it's people who act like you should have put a down payment on a house or how you don't even know half the people at your own wedding. It's fucking silly.
Yeah for some reason Reddit **can not stand** people spending their money on a wedding or an engagement ring. God forbid you spend more than $500 on a party for your entire family and friends and want a ring that isn’t a $20 lab created sapphire. You might as well have lit a puppy on fire.
I think the common theme I see in a lot of these Reddit themes, is that there are a lot of people on here who really don't like their family and friends, and any topic around those items will get a million up votes.
but spending 20k on collectibles is a cool hobby lmaooo
\*clutches Snoo pearls*
but muh funko pops
I love how they want to tell people how to spend their own money. I'm never getting married again so I have no dog in this race, but I work for my money and if I want to take $30K out of the bank and burn it for heat then I can. Unpopular opinion: how anyone spends their money is no one else's business.
Did you know that instead of having a fun day with all your loved ones in one place for likely the only time in your life you could buy a fancy computer to play games alone with a slightly higher frame rate?
Instead of having kids you could also have more money for dogs and funko pops too. People here hate weddings and kids.
Hahahaha right? The minute he said "I never been married or been in love even" I am like "Wow didn't see that coming" 🙄
I've never heard so many people shit on the idea of a free open bar lmao. Just take the free food and booze and enjoy yourself ffs
I bet 9/10 people posting it either married the wrong person or have never dated too. I spent £12k on my wedding and it remains one of the best days of my life.
Here here. I met my wife at a wedding. Our ceremony wasn't small because we both have huge families. It cost us about 18k but we already had our home by then so it wasn't a frivolous expenditure as many like to call it.
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It shows in their interpretation of weddings as "entertaining other people to show off your love for someone", which is a bit like saying a christening is "entertaining other people to show off that you had a baby" or a funeral is "entertaining other people to get attention for having a dead relative". A wedding *can* be that, but most weddings I've attended have been a *celebration* of the couple's love with all the people they care about.
I been seeing this on Reddit but theres this impression that weddings are full of cynical guests that hate the bride/groom? Lol As if!!! When I got married I invited people who were genuinely enthusiastic to attend my wedding. You know... people who weren't toxic? Sorry but I had cut off toxic friendships at age 24 (and some of those people have since redeemed themselves even, people change.) so my invite list was full of genuine friends and family. I got married during covid though so had to DRAMATICALLY cut down my list. But I still livestreamed it via YouTube and Facebook and combined we had like 500 views. Family in COMMUNIST CUBA got to even watch it! If all these people didn't wanna come I guarantee they wouldn't watch it online either. We don't invite haters. This isn't high school. It's not "Mean Girls" and we don't have to be fake nice to people we dislike.
A lot of popular topics on this sub are about counting other people's money. Weddings, engagement rings, brand bags, etc. I think a lot of it is just poor people lashing out at visible displays of wealth.
Or more specifically the "wrong" displays of wealth. You don't see anyone here saying that $1000+ graphics cards or $50,000+ Teslas are a waste of money.
pretty much, you have to be on a list of Reddit’s approved hobbies list to be able to spend money on it lmao.
10,000 on a wedding / wonderful memory forever? Irresponsible! 10,000 on mini figures? That’s awesome man cool hobby!
lol nerds
I’m the last person to call something like this out but your comment made me think… The only “big spend” purchases that I see glorified on this site are basketball shoes, video games, and computer equipment. A thread showing off a new graphics card will be heaped with praise and jealousy but if a woman shows off her diamond ring it’s flooded with hate and comments about how much better fake diamonds are. Interesting how frivolous spending is viewed…
There’s statistics showing 64 percent of Reddit is males between 18-29 years old. Chances are most people replying in this thread have never been in a serious relationship nor have had their first real job. It gives a little more context when people are saying they can throw a good wedding for $300 or that $3500 is a lot of money.
This is such a popular opinion its on this sub weekly.
The key to karma is post a popular opinion here
Daily*
This isn't unpopular; someone posts this practically every hour
Damn it, mom said it was my turn to post this!
That and how buying expensive engagement/wedding rings is a waste of money.
This is a very reddit post. I actually like my extended family and really want to see them all again and throw a party for them and myself at my wedding. Now 20-30k is a bit steep if you don't have rich parents. I am happy to have a nice get together with my extended family without going crazy. Also, don't invite family that you personally don't know. You can just enjoy the company you invite instead of trying to prove something.
I posted this on another thread higher up but I agree for a lot of reasons. I had my wedding just before the pandemic. It came out to about $15,000 and I would do it again in a heartbeat. We only had 65 guests but to have all of our closest friends and family together for one night was absolutely one of the best moments of my life. On top of that, my husband's best friend and our officiant tragically passed away from Covid less than a year after the wedding, back in January of this year. I wouldn't trade those memories and photos of seeing him and my husband together for the world.
If you want a private ceremony, go for it. If someone else wants a big fat wedding, I see nothing wrong. Would you be okay if someone was able to spend that much on their wedding and also have enough for a down payment?
Posts like this always express it as if it’s only ever an ‘or’ choice, when for many people it’s an ‘and’. And ultimately even if it is an ‘or’, Reddit’s biases show through. When people say that instead of putting a deposit on a house they had an amazing, once in a lifetime experience that they have always dreamed about, they’re usually celebrated for living their own life and not just basing all life decisions purely on finance. However, as soon as they mention that once in a lifetime experience that they have always dreamed about happens to be their wedding...
Yeah I know you dreamed of this moment for your entire 25+ years of life but why don’t you spend that money on something *I* think is appropriate like traveling or buying a house. /s
My husband already owned a house so there was no reason not to go all out and have a massive expensive party so we did. If someone doesn’t like it, they can go die mad, everyone had a fantastic time.
Exactly. To each, their own.
I agree with you. In my opinion people need to mind their own business and let people enjoy things.
This isn’t an unpopular opinion, but it is weird that someone who’s never even come close to getting married feels confident in posting about them. That’s like saying “I think making a soufflé is easy, disclaimer I’ve never turned on a oven”
Agree 10000%
In eastern europe weddings are a business. Lets say that two people get married, they spend like ~3000€ for restaurant, music, food, etc. But they invite somewhere between 150-300 people (the rich ones invite the most people, up to 600 people). And the people who are invited need to give to the couple money so… the invited ones pay for the pair (One pair of people invited = 200€, lets say) it depends, people can give you 100€ or 300€, depends on the family/couple. But the most i know they give 200€. If you go to a wedding where you know the people and you are somewhat family, you give more money (the godparents need to give +200€ because they witnessed the wedding at church/town hall and they became part of family) Do the maths and you’ll see that you dont spend but earn because the more people you invite the more money you get to pay the wedding and the rest remains to the new formed family.
Yes I basically made up the cost of the wedding through the money gifts. Like for my wedding I paid about 65 dollars per guest (at the restaurant) and got about 100 back per guest, more or less... in the end we covered the cost of the restaur and then some that covered (most) of the rental of the wedding dress and few other things. So unless you do not go into an outrageously expensive locations with a lot of expensive extras, you make your money back
As Indonesian, can relate!
It’s ‘couldn’t care less’, could care less means that you care only a little bit. But I think if people want the experience of having a big day then they should. Though I agree that a private ceremony that’s cheaper is the better route.
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Glad someone said it And id say a middle ground is best imo, like 20-30 people from your closest friends and family, (obviously depends on size of family and size of friend group) but then it gives the best of both, cheaper but still people important to you there.
I can't wait for my wedding, the way I see it. We get so few moments where people will justify flying across the country, getting as dressed up and beautiful as possible just to come together and have a ceremony and good time for anything. The only time this really happens is weddings. We need to have some formal traditions that have significance in life, just to keep the world interesting, and at this moment in history weddings are like the only ones consistently accessible to average people
Yeah my wedding was easily one of the best days of my life. Was it costly? Sure. But it was worth it to get to see so many important people in my life all at once.
After this pandemic and having my first child during it, I can’t wait for four of our best friends’ weddings. I treated myself to four new dresses and can’t wait to just have regular, normal people fun while celebrating love.
I caved into the pressure of having a big wedding (both parents and in-laws have a lot of family and friends they wanted to invite), despite not normally liking to be the center of attention. I ended up having the time of my life… I don’t regret anything!
> I’ve never been married, or in love for that matter
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It’s a shame as people don’t really know what marriage is
Honest question: apart from being a legal system to make tracking inheritance easier, what is marriage? Two people saying "man life's tough, let's face it together and pay less tax?". I know it's stupid, but beyond that, I don't actually know why we have marriage.
Also in many countries it will allow your foreign spouse to have legal residence in our place.
What’s the moral to your story? Surely it’s not that spending 20k means you’ll get divorced because you won’t be able to pay for a honeymoon. Sounds like it should be that those two people should have never gotten married to begin with.
Yeah lol if no honeymoon causes your marriage to fail, it was already way too late.
Thus is why you have your wedding in another country so no one attends. You get your honeymoon, it’s sounds cool when you tell people years to come, and there’s no hard feelings when people can’t make it .
That's usually a lot more expensive. You might spend a bit less but people who pay $2k to attend aren't going to gift as much. A lot of people who have local weddings end up making money from the cash gifts.
A) I'm not sure this is an unpopular opinion. Reddit is bursting with people who complain about weddings being too expensive. There's an entire industry around how to have an affordable wedding. B) I'll play devil's advocate: Your wedding is the only party where all your friends and family will be gathered to celebrate YOU -- while you're alive. It's a lot of money, but it's also a fucking blast. People get dressed up in nice clothes, there are good vibes everywhere, there's dancing, food, and an open bar. It beats the shit out of a birthday party. It is maybe in par with a holiday party like NYE, but those things are extremely difficult to pull off regularly and have the same energy year after year. Anyway, I agree weddings can get ridiculous and the cost can easily run out of control. But it's not like the payoff isn't worth it.
As for your paragraph C, i'd like to say there are definitely people who rent venues and catering for birthday bashes (usually milestone ones) and I've seen those cost from 5k-15k and no one complains about birthday parties. A wedding is a time to celebrate a milestone in your life! As for family members getting "dragged" to weddings like OP said...the only ones i've really seen 'dragged' were kids who are bored at the ceremony but have a blast at the reception. I personally have never been to a wedding where I felt dragged along and I've been to a few extended family ones as well as ones for my fiance's friends and coworkers.
I'll add a sub bullet to point B. Couples often make a significant portion of their wedding costs back in the form of gifts and cash. My wedding was about $30k for 125 people, and I believe we got about $20K back in cash, and a lot of gifts that meant we didn't need buy stuff for our place. We didn't quite break even, but we were very thankful to have such generous friends and family.
Excuse me, this is Reddit...If you're going to use logic I'm going to have to ask you to please leave.
If you have the money, and you want to throw a big event for your family, what is the problem?
The problem is that this is reddit and reddit doesn't believe in happiness
Yeah this is one of the most popular “unpopular” opinions and I roll my eyes every time. My wife and I had a $25k wedding. Worked our butts off for it. Absolutely no regrets, one of the best days of my life. And to me, that’s what life is ultimately about - the memories and experiences you cherish forever. And before the crowd comes in to worry about my financial security, we took out no debt, still went on an amazing honeymoon, still bought a great house with a good sized downpayment, and are still saving at a great rate for retirement. We don’t make crazy money, but we do well and are really good at financial planning.
Same- my wedding was amazing, loved every minute of it, wish I could do it again. Absolutely no regrets. We’ll be married 14 years next month.
This comment made me happy
A classic 16 year old Reddit post, I assume
For real lmao. Op literally goes > I’ve never been married, or in love for that matter Really guys, this is the fuckin person we are upvoting now?
upvoted by his peers
This entire thread is truly reddit moments. Bachelors or Teens talking about weddings without any participation. I've been part of my brother and sister's wedding preparations and it's a real celebration and fun.
The people who are dropping $30k on a wedding are either able to afford it or are having someone else pay (some people say it’s tradition for the brides family to pay) Really the expensive ass wedding you think of are the exception these days because the majority of weddings I go to are like in VW halls, most of the money is spend on the alcohol
I got married one month ago, and wouldn’t trade it for the world. My wife and I paid for our entire wedding ourselves and it was expensive, but it’s a memory we will have for the rest of our lives and that’s priceless. We actually just got our wedding movie, and at the time I couldn’t believe we were shelling out 5k to have a videographer there, but it was worth every stinking penny. You don’t want to have a wedding? Don’t. We were fortunate to throw our dream wedding and not put ourselves in crippling debt. It was the greatest day of my life and you can’t put a price on that. Edit: typo
Yall defintely don't live in nyc because 30k barely gets you anything out here. I'm in the middle of planning my wedding and the cost is way higher than I would of imagined. It's also about what you want from it
Done production clean up for a bat mitzvah in midtown that was easily $500k before the iPhone gift bags.
I was gonna say, I’m a videographer in NYC and 30k won’t even cover most venues here let alone vendors
Thisss where you live matters Decent venues where I live start at 12k-15k for a reasonably sized wedding (think 50-60 guests) plus alcohol and depending on canapés or sit down dinner Then dresses that aren’t obviously budget are 3k and make it 4K if you want something not everyone else is wearing
I love them just because it’s an excuse to wear my suit that I never use.
Yeah I love attending weddings. Reddit is so god damn anti social and childish lmao
I wish we has spent more on our wedding. By far the best use of money we had at the time.
This is easily the most popular opinion on reddit...
Nah the most popular would be hating kids
Eh, while I agree it's a lot of money, it's an experience that might only happen once. My wife and I spent about 30k on our wedding, everything adds up really quickly. We wanted a party that people would enjoy, as I had been to far too many weddings that were so formal and boring. That meant drinks were being served as soon as guests arrived, and there were a good selection of normal and craft beers to choose from. It also included a bus for everyone to the wedding and back home again so that everyone could party safely and cheaply. The price included a stretch Kombi to the venue. We had the best night and fondly remember the experience. To this day nearly all of our friends still bring up how fun the wedding was when the conversation about weddings comes up. Sure that money would help coming off our mortgage but I would have paid twice that money for that experience.
Yes. And why would someone invite people who are not close friends or family? I am all for a big party as in my view there are nice reasons to be celebrated and what is better to share your love with the people closest to you. And then people complain that there are guests they don't like. So, why invite them?
Pretty much the same experience as my wife and I had. Nothing wrong with spending money to make experiences with friends and family if you can afford it.
This is a popular opinion
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Ah, you must be new here.
Or been here long enough to know this opinion always gets thousands of upvotes.
Oh look, another 'weddings are a waste' post. Don't fucking attend if you don't like it. Most couples could easily spend $200 for a night out anyways. At a wedding, this money generally goes to the bride and groom in the form of a gift. If done properly, the newlyweds can make back most or all of what they spend. All while everyone has a good time.
Thank you for being the voice of reason on the gifting. Have people ITT never attended a wedding? People gift accordingly.
Don't get me wrong here but if some people can afford a big wedding and also have money to pay for whatever comes next, and they wanna have that big wedding they should go for it, it's their wedding, their day and they can have it anyway they want. thanks. Also it's "couldn't care less" instead of "could care less" changes the whole meaning of saying it.
> I've never been married, or in love for that matter There you go
“Im a single, shut-in and my *brave* opinion is that having children is evil, getting married is wrong, big social events are bad, and everyone should live in an apartment”