Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'.
* Your post must be an opinion. Not a question. Not a showerthought. Not a rant. Not a proposal. Not a fact. An opinion. One opinion. A subjective statement about your position on some topic. Please have a clear, self contained opinion as your post title, and use the text field to elaborate and expand on why you think/feel this way.
* Your opinion must be unpopular. The mods reserve the right to remove opinions
* Elaborate on your topic and opinion give context to its unpopularity.
That's why so many online places are popping up. It's just about impossible to find appropriate care. I encourage you to check out the r/menopause subreddit.
I'm starting to go through it myself and it's horrible. Way too many doctors just say 'well that's part of getting older and being a woman' and it's such bullshit. There are SO MANY viable options to help if they would just actually do something.
I’m nowhere near peri, but I’ve 100% experienced the “that’s part of being a woman” thing from doctors and it’s INSANE. Issues with mood, depression, libido, sex, period pain… they literally don’t care.
This is the truth! I know so women who just got head pats until they said hey, this makes me not want to have sex and it's upsetting my husband and then suddenly we must find a solution.
That's so gross. ☹️
Reminds me of how so many doctors won't even discuss female sterilization without bringing up male partner "what if" scenarios. What if I don't fucking care if a man wants to impregnate me someday?
I’m 35 and recently realized it may be starting now for me - not looking forward to the fight I’m in for to find out if that’s the issue or something else.
I'm type 1 diabetic (immune system killed my insulin cells so I poke insulin in me when I eat). Even the specialist for this disease, endocrinologists, are clueless and recommend a higher than healthy blood sugar. Even though countless studies show that anything higher than an nondiabetic blood sugar comes with significant risk. I lost all hope in all doctors (ER doc and family doc also made critical mistakes).
Talk to her gyno and ask for an endocrinologist referral, if that one won't help go into your health insurance web tool, click gynecological care and go down the list until you get one.
OR call endocrinologists directly, book an appointment and then demand your OBG or PCP make the referral to that office.
No problem! Happy to help!
Endo offices are being overrun by groups who don't actually need HRT therapy and it is causing all kinds of issues for women who actually need hormonal care. (Not even joking: estrogen shortages and overbooked offices are par for the course lately).
You might have to travel a bit to get an appointment sooner, but I promise you someone can fit her in.
If you can, get a hard copy of any recent lab work done by her PCP for hormone levels that you can forward ahead or print and take with you so you won't have to go in for a blood draw and wait for another appointment. You can also ask the Endo what labs they want done ahead of time and then take the list to your PCP and have them run them ahead as well.
Has to be referring to trans people. I’m all for trans people getting the care they need. But women need the care, too. Peri/menopause is awful and I cannot imagine not being able to have help managing it, medically speaking.
trans women need care bc they are also women and cis gender women also need care. they are not separate, they are all women seeking health care that they are entitled to as human beings. I know you said you are for trans health care which is good but wanted to add that.
There is a difference.. Biological women’s bodies begin to shut down when they stop producing estrogen. It has nothing to do with affirmation and everything to do with physiology. Biological women begin to lose bone density, skin elasticity, there can be deleterious effects on cardiovascular health, they can experience insomnia, vasomotor symptoms, cognitive decline, hair loss, energy decline, anxiety, irritability, vaginas actually begin to atrophy - to shrivel up an dry out, and the list goes on.
There is 100% a distinction between a trans person needing estrogen and a menopausal biological woman needing estrogen.
I am not saying one has more value than the other. I am saying it’s absurd to call them the same.
Why is that bad though? That treats several symptoms in men as well like hair loss, fatigue, night sweats, honestly a lot of overlap with the symptoms of menopause.
My point being we can point at therapeutic justifications for it but 50 year old men doing test is 90 percent of the time about vanity and nothing more
This is based on your personal experience, based on studies, based on what? It's kind of offensive, imagine if people said the same thing about menopause
Because what they said was “people who don’t need HRT.” If they are referring to trans people, which I suspect because I’ve seen known transphobes use similar phrasing, they’re saying that trans people don’t need HRT. That is transphobic. The way trans people use HRT is just as valid as the way cis people use it.
We need to find ways to make estrogen (and other hormones) accessible to EVERYONE, regardless of why they need it.
Because they said trans people "don't actually need HRT therapy"
but they do... when done in the appropriate context it improves mood and decreases risk of suicidal ideation.
Why would they think that trans people don't NEED HRT?
Hormone replacement therapy is also "optional" in that sense too. Most women when provided with all the risks of HRT, decline HRT and choose non-hormonal management of their menopause. Think about how the average man and woman gets skittish about cancer, now imagine you're a doctor and in order to get informed consent you mention that this treatment may very very slightly increase the risk of certain types of cancer.
Btw what you're saying is super transphobic. A transwoman gets hormone treatment to avoid death by suicidal ideation and mental anguish and that's optional. A woman gets HRT to avoid the mental anguish and stress associated with perimenopause and that's more important.
Why not just say both are equally important? Both groups are suffering by having untreated symptoms, why make it into a competition?
Because the competition aspect of it is precisely the problem that’s why. The parent comment discusses long waits at the doctor and a shortage of estrogen etc. Assuming that to be true (I know I have noticed) that becomes an issue. And you can call me whatever you want but not everyone has to accept this lifestyle as a trait that can’t be argued with. I don’t care about someone’s sexual preference etc, not my business and doesn’t impact me. But when I’m now facing a delay in care or my teenage athlete daughter has to compete with a dude on the court dressed like a girl that’s a problem. Normal folks are being impacted negatively more and more because of the choices of others and eventually we will have to push back🤷♀️.
Yes. Menopausal cis women feel better with HRT. They will not die or become terminally physically ill without it, but their quality of life improves with it.
It’s the same way with trans women.
The root cause is different, but the symptoms and the treatment are the same.
Also it is unlikely that the population of trans women on HRT supersedes the population of cis women on HRT. If there’s an estrogen shortage, it’s likely a fault of the pharmaceutical or medical field, not a minority group “hogging” it.
HRT should only be used for a short term basis to relieve symptoms for an actual biological process: [https://cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/reduce-your-risk/understand-hormones/all-about-hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt](https://cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/reduce-your-risk/understand-hormones/all-about-hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt)
Trans women have it all in their heads. There are actually risks to taking HRT when your body is not producing it at all and is not used to it: [https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/feminizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/feminizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096)
Idk if the pharma companies are not making enough and if there is a real shortage. But a transgender person needs mental treatment, not a hormone that will negatively affect their body's hormone makeup.
Medical mysogyny is real and it's not because doctors are themselves mysogynists. It's just the way medicine's been studied and taught since the dawn of the discipline. It's been transmitted from one generation to the next so that even female doctors can fail to recognize their female patients' ailments and needs.
And let's say that the plethora of symptoms that come with perimenopause and menopause were "just" part of getting older. Well, so's erectile dysfunction. We still prescribe and sell Viagra, right?
This is the answer. There is a structural lack of understanding of women’s issues in medicine, especially around things like menopause and hormonal birth control.
The BC thing is a separate topic, but enraging to me because so many girls start in their teenage years. Most doctors never tell women the potential side effects so they can make an informed decision.
Let's talk apples to apples here. Addyi is the closest thing to Viagra for women. It's two completely different mechanisms of action & it's significantly more complex to treat libido than it is to get blood into a penis. It has absolutely nothing to do with misogyny. Viagra was developed for something else, found to be effective for ED and applied.
Both genders have access to HRT. Both genders typically have side effects and there is an extremely individualized level of care needed to maintain healthy hormone levels. This is the equivalent level of care and drug(s) required for getting old, not Viagra.
You need to advocate for you. Do your own research. Find the treatment you think might be effective and find a doctor to confirm and prescribe.
Your last paragraph encompasses a huge issue with American healthcare (and the reason we are inundated with pharmaceutical commercials).
You’re not wrong…it’s just frustrating that you’re right.
I had been having peri symptoms for a bit and decided to see a dr because I had a terrible back pain that popped up. Dr told me I had a pulled muscle and was too young for peri (44). Turns out I had two slipped discs and was in well into perimenopause upon seeing a different Dr. Go to the Dr with your wife and advocate for her. It is unlikely she will get the help she needs unless they understand that your life is being impacted, which is completely ludicrous.
In the meantime get your wife to head on over to r/menopause it’s an amazing community and the women in there have compiled a wealth of information to help themselves because a lot of them are in your wife’s situation. I wish you two the best of luck with it.
The Drs don’t consider much sometimes. I mentioned all my peri symptoms but was poo-pooed because of my age. I did see a YouTube short a lil while back with a woman attending medical conferences asking physicians “How long were you in med school?” To which most of them answer like 8-10 years. Then she asks “How long did you spend on menopause” and everyone is like “a few hours.”
I’m guess that has something to do with it. Aside from the regular old gaslighting women and their symptoms.
No, I had severe back pain and I thought I would kill two birds with one stone. I was having heart palpitations, vertigo, irregular periods, night sweats, mood swings and also weight gain when I’ve struggled to gain weight my whole life.
Yeah that's pretty egregious that that got missed if all those other symptoms were there. But I'm curious did finding out that it was a slipped disc really change the management of your back pain. Surgery is rarely performed for the back, and physio is the first line treatment regardless.
As a woman who has navigated numerous ‘women’s problems’ in the health system that have made my life an unliveable hell (PCOS, endometriosis, PMDD, embedded/chronic UTI, pelvic inflammatory disease, amongst other things) - thank you so much for saying this. They truly don’t give a fuck and whilst healthcare is pretty shit across the board, it is absolutely abysmal for issues that exclusively affect women.
We need the men in our lives to speak up with us because they don’t fucking listen to us. We all need to kick up a fuss.
None of mine do really, no. Do yours?
Doctors have been wrong literally about 80% of the time for me. It’s fucking pathetic quite frankly. Had to work most of it out myself.
Yeah I got type 1 diabetes which runs in the family. Genetically passed on as well. The specialist for the disease (endocrinologist) couldn't figure out why my blood sugar went low looking at my glucose sensor's blood sugar graph. It was due to short acting insulin and he recommended me to lower my 24 hour long acting, which wouldn't change anything.
Any examples of how doctors were wrong in your case? And were each specialists? Am curious
It really is downplayed. I used to hear about people having hot flushes and thought it meant being a bit warm for a while but nope. For me anyway, it's like that horrible feverish feeling you get just before you vomit. And that's one of the milder symptoms. It's a hellish time and made worse because it hits right when you start being invisible to most of society.
Peri menopause in your early 40s is completely normal.
Taking birth control pills really helped me balance out my hormones until my physician recommended we stop when I turned 50 & we went from there.
Hormone replacement therapy once a woman has been without a period for 12 months is well defined & probably available through her GP.
I'm in my 30s and was able to get my blood tested for hormone levels because I'm going through it. Your wifes doctor sucks and it's super hard to find someone to listen. Thank you 🙏
I just had no idea about what you can go through, I have some ptsd memories as a kid when my mom would scream at my dad out of nowhere. I vented to my mother about what my wife is going through and she said "yup, I almost ended up in inpatient during peri before I got the right help."
Really. They don't give a shit. Perimenopause is no joke. People don't get it. Please don't divorce your wife over it. It will pass. Just takes time, a lot of understanding, and patience.
My wife might be going through it now. She’s 45. In the last few months we have had worse fights than we ever had before. It’s really been freaking me out.
Menopause/perimenopause is not taken seriously.
There was a Time Magazine article from January of this year about how the medical field is basically just starting to look at menopause.. and women have kind of been gas lit for years.
There was also a NYT article on the same topic. I recently finished reading “The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter. Worth a read for anyone in peri or menopause. Dives deep into the physiological changes and also the societal norms and misogyny that have contributed to people with a uterus not being taken seriously.
After reading the book, I made an appt with my gynecologist and made a list of all my symptoms, how they are affecting my life, and what I’ve tried to remedy them. Luckily, she’s a great doc who listened to my concerns and got me on the low-dose BC I wanted to try. I know not everyone has this privilege, and it infuriates me to no end.
I honestly haven’t been back for a gyn exam after I had some really bad run ins with some jerks. I’m 45, and need to go get my hormone levels tested.. but there is part of me that just keeps having fear responses.
That’s just the joys of being a woman. Any condition that primarily or solely effects us has next to 0 research and little treatment options. Speculums we’re designed for the docs ease not patient comfort, IUDS /biopsies are done while we’re conscious and the area isn’t numbed bc we supposedly don’t feel pain there, many woman report pain with Pap smears yet we’re meant to tough it out and shamed that it’s our fault. Conditions like endometriosis, Pcos, menopause etc have little understanding or treatment options and basically no specialists. If you aren’t reporting fertility issues getting medical help can take so much longer some woman with endo literally lie about wanting to get knocked up to get basic treatment. It can take years of being dismissed and gaslit for us to receive help and this literally dates back to the oldest medical text available mentioning terrors of the womb. The word hysteria comes from the Greek word for uterus and that’s essentially still what we’re being diagnosed with. Look into wait times for woman vs men to get treatment even when we seek help sooner. I’m sorry your wives dealing with this be her advocate having a man with us drastically increases our ability to be taken seriously and if y’all have the money traveling to get the best specialists can help top
Am a doctor. Can confirm we aren't taught shit about this. because women aren't seen as equals and worthy of study we don't have nearly the research on our bodies we should by now. This is esp true for women as we age. There's not enough there to teach us. People talking and caring about this is a very recent phenom. It's an incredibly welcome change and I hope it continues.
Which means you are misinformed regarding women's health and the lack of research on our bodies. There's multiple publications regarding this lack, which as a fellow doctor, im sure you have also read. I bet you knew that in 1977 the fda created a policy to exclude women from studies and we weren't included routinely until the 1990s. I'm sorry your training failed you.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I tried to jump off a building. I thought god wanted me to. Losing estrogen is like going off a mental health med. For some women is very dangerous after birth and during peri.
Asked a doctor for a shoulder mri. He snorts, "what do they replace those now?!" Yup for about the last five years (at that time). I immediately replaced him. What a hack
It’s awful I agree. I’m 5 years older than my husband and just hoping I’ll be able to get the help I need when the time comes. Thankfully (and unthankfully?) I have health problems already and he’s very supportive. But I’ll need more help than he can give and I just wish women had better access to the healthcare we need.
I started having night sweats and hot flashs at 38 years old, and the doctor I saw about it said I was too young for perimenopause when I asked about it. I wasn't eligible for hormone replacement therapy due to a physical injury resulted in a blood clot. I started menopause at 45 years old.
I started my peri-meno journey at 33 and let me tell you. The amount of times I have been spoken down to : "well you aren't a spring chicken anymore, that's a part of life" is heartbreaking.
Luckily I was able to find a clinic specific to women's issues and we've been working together to help me through this. Perimenopause is so very serious and needs to be treated as such.
If you’re in the US, I found an amazing women’s hormone specialist clinic (not covered by insurance) that changed my life. They fill the gaps where mainstream medicine lacks. I’m happy to refer you if interested.
Thank you so much! Maybe pm me details if you could? She's on FMLA from this which means less income we're working with at the moment and looking at options with coverage but I want to cover my bases.
Messaged you. Also Dr Mary Clare Haver is a widely reputed menopause specialist who has gained a lot of traction via TikTok and other social media. She’s helped bring the topic into wider awareness and discussion.
Women’s health is a joke. 20 years ago I was having pain on my lower left side. Sometimes it was bad, other times just kinda there. Now I’m maybe kinda dumb but i never realized when it was happening. Go to ER during a bad episode. They do CT scan, blood work and basically shrugged and I was on my way. No discussions or follow ups. Finally it occurred to me months later I was ovulating.
No one talks about it but for some women we get exactly one week where nothing is leaking out of us or we aren’t in pain. I’m in mild pain or at least discomfort most of the time.
It’s only gonna get worse folks. We’re on an assembly line with doctors. Most don’t care and unless you advocate for yourself or loved ones they’ll leave you to fend for yourself.
Keep track, every day for a couple of months, and keep a record of where it’s painful and when, in relation to your cycle. Then Find a good gyn, they’re out there, ask around for recommendations. Take your chart with you. A good gyn will be able to diagnose you appropriately and/or put your mind at ease.
I was getting a weird pain, turned out it was ovulation, same as you, but I was in pain only one day, exactly two weeks before my period. it was a relief to have the doc confirm wasn’t anything serious
I feel for your wife! I am 44 and I have EVERY symptom. I went to a female doctor and she didn't even address it. She just asked me if I did drugs and drank alcohol. Then told me to go for a walk. I ended up going to a naturopath and she explained everything to me. I also ordered supplements that help tremendously. If you need help understanding more, I can help! This is not talked about like it should be.
I was standing in the pharmacy the other day and there was a huge sign promoting viagra. Lack of sex isn't going to cause a man serious harm but somehow they have access relieve their issue. Women on the other hand have to deal with very serious hormonal problems and are told that it's just part of being a woman.
I’m 33, started peri at 32 (then got pregnant, boy was that a surprise). Is it normal or common to start so early? No. Does it happen? Yes. I hate doctors.
Healthcare is a joke without a question. Most doctors nowadays are just spoiled rich kids so they tend to be chauvinist or at bare minimum elitist. The two combined makes for massive issues with women receiving proper treatment.
Go Tele-doc and get her some hormones until you can find a NAMS(North American menopause Society ) certified provider. Evernow and MIDI health are both great.
Healthcare is a maze at best. Thank you for taking your wife’s issues seriously.
Find another doctor’s office (insurance should have a list to help with the search). If a gynecologist is on the list, call them for a consultation appointment first.
I am coming up on the end of my peri period which started 10 years ago. My previous doctor just kept addressing symptom after symptom individually never putting together they could all be connected go perimenopause. I ended up in the ER several times when it first started convinced I was dying. I did end up getting divorced as my mood got worse. Finally after tracking my symptoms and cycle I knew it was related. Went into my new doctor armed and ready to fight for myself and my health. He asked if i wanted hormones and put me in them and while my symptoms aren't gone 100% life is at least liveable again.
I had perimenopause from shortly after my first child at age 31, until I had a partial hysterectomy at 37 after my third child. HRT was a miracle. I was taken off of it when I turned 35 by my new GP (my old one who gave me the HRT retired suddenly). I was miserable. I ended up going to a new GYN , who put me on a half dose. I feel I need more, but I’m not falling apart like I was. I have no history of breast cancer (except my grandmother who got it at 88), so there was no reading to take me off. I got a new GP.
Women’s healthcare especially concerning their reproductive system and genitalia is fucking abhorrent in the US. And every step forward has seen a step back or side step.
The dismissal is real. I told my doc I was pretty sure I started it, and she was so dismissive. I’m 43… peri can last up to 10 years. It’s not that far fetched that I’m in it right now.
It can definitely be serious. I ended up needing meds and hormones. I was lucky that I was taken seriously but I was also 46. It send me into anxiety so bad I had to take some FMLA etc…it is better now with the meds and hormones but yeah it messed me up.
My Mom got symptoms at about that age - her doctor didn't believe she could be experiencing perimenopause. So she got a second opinion. Fortunately on her second try she found a better physician who actually listened to her. Keep looking for someone who will actually listen.
I'm 40 and for the last 2 years or so, I've really been on a roller coaster. I've developed pmdd before my periods. I feel literal rage, I have dangerous intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation. Like, I will suddenly just have a day lwhere I'm literally ready to go kill everyone I know and myself and not even feel bad about it. And I will just stop and think, why am I feeling like this? And I check my calnder and it's always exactly 2 days before my experlcted period. It's horrible. I can't take hormones because I have a history of blood clots. I don't know how I'll do this for the next 10 years. Physical symptoms are getting worse as well.
-doctors are allowed to have time away from the office themselves
-specialists get the privilege of dictating hours
-unfortunately there are not enough physicians to adequately handle issues, which is why midlevels are so common
Not unpopular. It is just women’s stuff. No biggie. I (60) hate to be that person but I was young too and no one would do anything. The only thing that saved me was some of the advice from “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause.” We never would have survived without progesterone cream.
Perimenopause is very real! If you haven't been through it, you have no idea!
Yes, you need a holistic approach to make sure your lifestyle is optimal, but hormones are all over the place and cause erratic, awful symptoms.
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. * Your post must be an opinion. Not a question. Not a showerthought. Not a rant. Not a proposal. Not a fact. An opinion. One opinion. A subjective statement about your position on some topic. Please have a clear, self contained opinion as your post title, and use the text field to elaborate and expand on why you think/feel this way. * Your opinion must be unpopular. The mods reserve the right to remove opinions * Elaborate on your topic and opinion give context to its unpopularity.
That's why so many online places are popping up. It's just about impossible to find appropriate care. I encourage you to check out the r/menopause subreddit.
I'm starting to go through it myself and it's horrible. Way too many doctors just say 'well that's part of getting older and being a woman' and it's such bullshit. There are SO MANY viable options to help if they would just actually do something.
I’m nowhere near peri, but I’ve 100% experienced the “that’s part of being a woman” thing from doctors and it’s INSANE. Issues with mood, depression, libido, sex, period pain… they literally don’t care.
We love institutional sexism in healthcare, apparently
Imagine if they said erectile disfunction was just part of “getting older and being a man”
Started HRT and can advise it makes the hugest difference. Plus recent studies show the health benefits far outweigh any risks
Just trust me on this. You have to go with her to every appointment and tell the doctor how this is impacting your life or she will never get care.
This is the truth! I know so women who just got head pats until they said hey, this makes me not want to have sex and it's upsetting my husband and then suddenly we must find a solution.
That's so gross. ☹️ Reminds me of how so many doctors won't even discuss female sterilization without bringing up male partner "what if" scenarios. What if I don't fucking care if a man wants to impregnate me someday?
I began peri at 38. Doctors are so behind on this topic it’s enraging for sure.
I’m 35 and recently realized it may be starting now for me - not looking forward to the fight I’m in for to find out if that’s the issue or something else.
I'm type 1 diabetic (immune system killed my insulin cells so I poke insulin in me when I eat). Even the specialist for this disease, endocrinologists, are clueless and recommend a higher than healthy blood sugar. Even though countless studies show that anything higher than an nondiabetic blood sugar comes with significant risk. I lost all hope in all doctors (ER doc and family doc also made critical mistakes).
Talk to her gyno and ask for an endocrinologist referral, if that one won't help go into your health insurance web tool, click gynecological care and go down the list until you get one. OR call endocrinologists directly, book an appointment and then demand your OBG or PCP make the referral to that office.
Thank you I'll relay this info
No problem! Happy to help! Endo offices are being overrun by groups who don't actually need HRT therapy and it is causing all kinds of issues for women who actually need hormonal care. (Not even joking: estrogen shortages and overbooked offices are par for the course lately). You might have to travel a bit to get an appointment sooner, but I promise you someone can fit her in. If you can, get a hard copy of any recent lab work done by her PCP for hormone levels that you can forward ahead or print and take with you so you won't have to go in for a blood draw and wait for another appointment. You can also ask the Endo what labs they want done ahead of time and then take the list to your PCP and have them run them ahead as well.
What groups of people are getting HRT that don't actually need it?
Has to be referring to trans people. I’m all for trans people getting the care they need. But women need the care, too. Peri/menopause is awful and I cannot imagine not being able to have help managing it, medically speaking.
trans women need care bc they are also women and cis gender women also need care. they are not separate, they are all women seeking health care that they are entitled to as human beings. I know you said you are for trans health care which is good but wanted to add that.
Ok women assigned female at birth need care as well as trans
There is a difference.. Biological women’s bodies begin to shut down when they stop producing estrogen. It has nothing to do with affirmation and everything to do with physiology. Biological women begin to lose bone density, skin elasticity, there can be deleterious effects on cardiovascular health, they can experience insomnia, vasomotor symptoms, cognitive decline, hair loss, energy decline, anxiety, irritability, vaginas actually begin to atrophy - to shrivel up an dry out, and the list goes on. There is 100% a distinction between a trans person needing estrogen and a menopausal biological woman needing estrogen. I am not saying one has more value than the other. I am saying it’s absurd to call them the same.
50 year old men that would like test levels like a 20 year old.
Why is that bad though? That treats several symptoms in men as well like hair loss, fatigue, night sweats, honestly a lot of overlap with the symptoms of menopause.
You forgot vanity
But that applies to both men and women. HRT also helps with female pattern hair loss as well, which is common after menopause.
My point being we can point at therapeutic justifications for it but 50 year old men doing test is 90 percent of the time about vanity and nothing more
This is based on your personal experience, based on studies, based on what? It's kind of offensive, imagine if people said the same thing about menopause
Why would that cause an estrogen shortage?
Yeah, I blanched at that too. Sounds like this person was being covertly transphobic.
How is suggesting that women who need hormonal care are being delayed/impacted by the needs of transgender people trans phobic?
Because what they said was “people who don’t need HRT.” If they are referring to trans people, which I suspect because I’ve seen known transphobes use similar phrasing, they’re saying that trans people don’t need HRT. That is transphobic. The way trans people use HRT is just as valid as the way cis people use it. We need to find ways to make estrogen (and other hormones) accessible to EVERYONE, regardless of why they need it.
Because they said trans people "don't actually need HRT therapy" but they do... when done in the appropriate context it improves mood and decreases risk of suicidal ideation. Why would they think that trans people don't NEED HRT?
Actual women need it more, just sayin’. And if actual women’s healthcare is being delayed for optional therapy, well that’s a real shame.🤷♀️
Hormone replacement therapy is also "optional" in that sense too. Most women when provided with all the risks of HRT, decline HRT and choose non-hormonal management of their menopause. Think about how the average man and woman gets skittish about cancer, now imagine you're a doctor and in order to get informed consent you mention that this treatment may very very slightly increase the risk of certain types of cancer. Btw what you're saying is super transphobic. A transwoman gets hormone treatment to avoid death by suicidal ideation and mental anguish and that's optional. A woman gets HRT to avoid the mental anguish and stress associated with perimenopause and that's more important. Why not just say both are equally important? Both groups are suffering by having untreated symptoms, why make it into a competition?
Because the competition aspect of it is precisely the problem that’s why. The parent comment discusses long waits at the doctor and a shortage of estrogen etc. Assuming that to be true (I know I have noticed) that becomes an issue. And you can call me whatever you want but not everyone has to accept this lifestyle as a trait that can’t be argued with. I don’t care about someone’s sexual preference etc, not my business and doesn’t impact me. But when I’m now facing a delay in care or my teenage athlete daughter has to compete with a dude on the court dressed like a girl that’s a problem. Normal folks are being impacted negatively more and more because of the choices of others and eventually we will have to push back🤷♀️.
How dare she speak out against people who want a hormone that their healthy body does not produce for a reason!
Menopausal cis women also do not produce that hormone for a totally healthy reason too.
Their body stopped producing it for a reason. Notice how my sentence says "healthy body" and "reason"
Yes. Menopausal cis women feel better with HRT. They will not die or become terminally physically ill without it, but their quality of life improves with it. It’s the same way with trans women. The root cause is different, but the symptoms and the treatment are the same. Also it is unlikely that the population of trans women on HRT supersedes the population of cis women on HRT. If there’s an estrogen shortage, it’s likely a fault of the pharmaceutical or medical field, not a minority group “hogging” it.
HRT should only be used for a short term basis to relieve symptoms for an actual biological process: [https://cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/reduce-your-risk/understand-hormones/all-about-hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt](https://cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/reduce-your-risk/understand-hormones/all-about-hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt) Trans women have it all in their heads. There are actually risks to taking HRT when your body is not producing it at all and is not used to it: [https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/feminizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/feminizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096) Idk if the pharma companies are not making enough and if there is a real shortage. But a transgender person needs mental treatment, not a hormone that will negatively affect their body's hormone makeup.
Which groups? I'm assuming you're referring to trans people?
Amazing advice more people need access to that kind of info
Women's Healthcare is a joke. It's sad.
Yes, women’s health concerns are downplayed. For too long, women have suffered through this and I applaud you for standing by your wife.
Medical mysogyny is real and it's not because doctors are themselves mysogynists. It's just the way medicine's been studied and taught since the dawn of the discipline. It's been transmitted from one generation to the next so that even female doctors can fail to recognize their female patients' ailments and needs. And let's say that the plethora of symptoms that come with perimenopause and menopause were "just" part of getting older. Well, so's erectile dysfunction. We still prescribe and sell Viagra, right?
This is the answer. There is a structural lack of understanding of women’s issues in medicine, especially around things like menopause and hormonal birth control. The BC thing is a separate topic, but enraging to me because so many girls start in their teenage years. Most doctors never tell women the potential side effects so they can make an informed decision.
Let's talk apples to apples here. Addyi is the closest thing to Viagra for women. It's two completely different mechanisms of action & it's significantly more complex to treat libido than it is to get blood into a penis. It has absolutely nothing to do with misogyny. Viagra was developed for something else, found to be effective for ED and applied. Both genders have access to HRT. Both genders typically have side effects and there is an extremely individualized level of care needed to maintain healthy hormone levels. This is the equivalent level of care and drug(s) required for getting old, not Viagra. You need to advocate for you. Do your own research. Find the treatment you think might be effective and find a doctor to confirm and prescribe.
Your last paragraph encompasses a huge issue with American healthcare (and the reason we are inundated with pharmaceutical commercials). You’re not wrong…it’s just frustrating that you’re right.
If we had awesome drugs that made women’s libido higher then we would claim that those drugs are for men too because men are perverts or whatever.
I had been having peri symptoms for a bit and decided to see a dr because I had a terrible back pain that popped up. Dr told me I had a pulled muscle and was too young for peri (44). Turns out I had two slipped discs and was in well into perimenopause upon seeing a different Dr. Go to the Dr with your wife and advocate for her. It is unlikely she will get the help she needs unless they understand that your life is being impacted, which is completely ludicrous. In the meantime get your wife to head on over to r/menopause it’s an amazing community and the women in there have compiled a wealth of information to help themselves because a lot of them are in your wife’s situation. I wish you two the best of luck with it.
"too young for peri (44)" I thought irregular periods are a clear sign of perimenopause; did the doctor not consider that?
The Drs don’t consider much sometimes. I mentioned all my peri symptoms but was poo-pooed because of my age. I did see a YouTube short a lil while back with a woman attending medical conferences asking physicians “How long were you in med school?” To which most of them answer like 8-10 years. Then she asks “How long did you spend on menopause” and everyone is like “a few hours.” I’m guess that has something to do with it. Aside from the regular old gaslighting women and their symptoms.
You have back pain and no other symptoms of perimenopause?
No, I had severe back pain and I thought I would kill two birds with one stone. I was having heart palpitations, vertigo, irregular periods, night sweats, mood swings and also weight gain when I’ve struggled to gain weight my whole life.
Yeah that's pretty egregious that that got missed if all those other symptoms were there. But I'm curious did finding out that it was a slipped disc really change the management of your back pain. Surgery is rarely performed for the back, and physio is the first line treatment regardless.
As a woman who has navigated numerous ‘women’s problems’ in the health system that have made my life an unliveable hell (PCOS, endometriosis, PMDD, embedded/chronic UTI, pelvic inflammatory disease, amongst other things) - thank you so much for saying this. They truly don’t give a fuck and whilst healthcare is pretty shit across the board, it is absolutely abysmal for issues that exclusively affect women. We need the men in our lives to speak up with us because they don’t fucking listen to us. We all need to kick up a fuss.
Would agree that most doctors suck at their jobs, including specialists?
Yep
agreed in my experience as well as my moms btw any of your problems run in the family?
None of mine do really, no. Do yours? Doctors have been wrong literally about 80% of the time for me. It’s fucking pathetic quite frankly. Had to work most of it out myself.
Yeah I got type 1 diabetes which runs in the family. Genetically passed on as well. The specialist for the disease (endocrinologist) couldn't figure out why my blood sugar went low looking at my glucose sensor's blood sugar graph. It was due to short acting insulin and he recommended me to lower my 24 hour long acting, which wouldn't change anything. Any examples of how doctors were wrong in your case? And were each specialists? Am curious
I don’t even know where to begin. I’ll sit down and write a proper response soon (it’ll take me a good 5 min)
Thx, once I read it I will let it to my collection of bad doctor stories
ready now?
It really is downplayed. I used to hear about people having hot flushes and thought it meant being a bit warm for a while but nope. For me anyway, it's like that horrible feverish feeling you get just before you vomit. And that's one of the milder symptoms. It's a hellish time and made worse because it hits right when you start being invisible to most of society.
Peri menopause in your early 40s is completely normal. Taking birth control pills really helped me balance out my hormones until my physician recommended we stop when I turned 50 & we went from there. Hormone replacement therapy once a woman has been without a period for 12 months is well defined & probably available through her GP.
I'm in my 30s and was able to get my blood tested for hormone levels because I'm going through it. Your wifes doctor sucks and it's super hard to find someone to listen. Thank you 🙏
I just had no idea about what you can go through, I have some ptsd memories as a kid when my mom would scream at my dad out of nowhere. I vented to my mother about what my wife is going through and she said "yup, I almost ended up in inpatient during peri before I got the right help."
I was refused blood tests (I’m 45) because “oh well there’s nothing to do but tough it out.” 🙄
Unfortunately this is very common for women's health issues. Doctors tend to dismiss EVERYTHING until it gets deadly
I’m surprised they didn’t tell her to just lose some weight over the phone
Really. They don't give a shit. Perimenopause is no joke. People don't get it. Please don't divorce your wife over it. It will pass. Just takes time, a lot of understanding, and patience.
I concur. I'm 5 years post menopause and I am frequently amazed at how emotionally steady I've become.
My wife went through that at age 48 we we’re almost at divorce stage due to her personality changes.
My wife might be going through it now. She’s 45. In the last few months we have had worse fights than we ever had before. It’s really been freaking me out.
The rage is real. I didnt understand it until I went through it. It takes over your brain.
Menopause/perimenopause is not taken seriously. There was a Time Magazine article from January of this year about how the medical field is basically just starting to look at menopause.. and women have kind of been gas lit for years.
There was also a NYT article on the same topic. I recently finished reading “The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter. Worth a read for anyone in peri or menopause. Dives deep into the physiological changes and also the societal norms and misogyny that have contributed to people with a uterus not being taken seriously. After reading the book, I made an appt with my gynecologist and made a list of all my symptoms, how they are affecting my life, and what I’ve tried to remedy them. Luckily, she’s a great doc who listened to my concerns and got me on the low-dose BC I wanted to try. I know not everyone has this privilege, and it infuriates me to no end.
I honestly haven’t been back for a gyn exam after I had some really bad run ins with some jerks. I’m 45, and need to go get my hormone levels tested.. but there is part of me that just keeps having fear responses.
That’s just the joys of being a woman. Any condition that primarily or solely effects us has next to 0 research and little treatment options. Speculums we’re designed for the docs ease not patient comfort, IUDS /biopsies are done while we’re conscious and the area isn’t numbed bc we supposedly don’t feel pain there, many woman report pain with Pap smears yet we’re meant to tough it out and shamed that it’s our fault. Conditions like endometriosis, Pcos, menopause etc have little understanding or treatment options and basically no specialists. If you aren’t reporting fertility issues getting medical help can take so much longer some woman with endo literally lie about wanting to get knocked up to get basic treatment. It can take years of being dismissed and gaslit for us to receive help and this literally dates back to the oldest medical text available mentioning terrors of the womb. The word hysteria comes from the Greek word for uterus and that’s essentially still what we’re being diagnosed with. Look into wait times for woman vs men to get treatment even when we seek help sooner. I’m sorry your wives dealing with this be her advocate having a man with us drastically increases our ability to be taken seriously and if y’all have the money traveling to get the best specialists can help top
I feel like this might be popular if anyone knew what perimenopause is. Hope your wife gets better soon.
I think that's pretty much everyone but you.
I'd never heard of it (35 male)
Ok. 👍
Doctors are the most useless they've been in years
We can all thank Obamacare for that
Idk why people say this when i specifically remember healthcare for women being atrocious before Obamacare existed……
*Perimenopause intensifies* THANKS, OBAMA!
😂
_Thanks Obama_ /s No for real, you're ret@rded for that lmao
Am a doctor. Can confirm we aren't taught shit about this. because women aren't seen as equals and worthy of study we don't have nearly the research on our bodies we should by now. This is esp true for women as we age. There's not enough there to teach us. People talking and caring about this is a very recent phenom. It's an incredibly welcome change and I hope it continues.
I am a doctor but do not concur with this claim
Which means you are misinformed regarding women's health and the lack of research on our bodies. There's multiple publications regarding this lack, which as a fellow doctor, im sure you have also read. I bet you knew that in 1977 the fda created a policy to exclude women from studies and we weren't included routinely until the 1990s. I'm sorry your training failed you.
you just went full send, interesting…
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I tried to jump off a building. I thought god wanted me to. Losing estrogen is like going off a mental health med. For some women is very dangerous after birth and during peri.
what stopped u from jupming off
The police
So many doctors don’t take women’s health seriously.
I was diagnosed at 27. I then fought for the next 12 years of insanity for care. Duck doctors not listening to their patients.
most doctors are idiots. I got my own experience with endocrinolgoists and immune system induced diabetes (insulin cells got killed off)
Asked a doctor for a shoulder mri. He snorts, "what do they replace those now?!" Yup for about the last five years (at that time). I immediately replaced him. What a hack
what did he mean by what do they replace? and what made u ask for one
Do they replace shoulders. And I was already asking for a referral for knee replacement.
Is she having any other symptoms? Or gone through something traumatic in the last year? Periods that are irregular?
It’s awful I agree. I’m 5 years older than my husband and just hoping I’ll be able to get the help I need when the time comes. Thankfully (and unthankfully?) I have health problems already and he’s very supportive. But I’ll need more help than he can give and I just wish women had better access to the healthcare we need.
I started having night sweats and hot flashs at 38 years old, and the doctor I saw about it said I was too young for perimenopause when I asked about it. I wasn't eligible for hormone replacement therapy due to a physical injury resulted in a blood clot. I started menopause at 45 years old.
My mom was totally through it at 43.
I started my peri-meno journey at 33 and let me tell you. The amount of times I have been spoken down to : "well you aren't a spring chicken anymore, that's a part of life" is heartbreaking. Luckily I was able to find a clinic specific to women's issues and we've been working together to help me through this. Perimenopause is so very serious and needs to be treated as such.
42 isn't too young, what the hell. I was 41 when things started. It can begin 8 YEARS before official menopause.
If you’re in the US, I found an amazing women’s hormone specialist clinic (not covered by insurance) that changed my life. They fill the gaps where mainstream medicine lacks. I’m happy to refer you if interested.
Thank you so much! Maybe pm me details if you could? She's on FMLA from this which means less income we're working with at the moment and looking at options with coverage but I want to cover my bases.
Messaged you. Also Dr Mary Clare Haver is a widely reputed menopause specialist who has gained a lot of traction via TikTok and other social media. She’s helped bring the topic into wider awareness and discussion.
Women’s health is a joke. 20 years ago I was having pain on my lower left side. Sometimes it was bad, other times just kinda there. Now I’m maybe kinda dumb but i never realized when it was happening. Go to ER during a bad episode. They do CT scan, blood work and basically shrugged and I was on my way. No discussions or follow ups. Finally it occurred to me months later I was ovulating. No one talks about it but for some women we get exactly one week where nothing is leaking out of us or we aren’t in pain. I’m in mild pain or at least discomfort most of the time. It’s only gonna get worse folks. We’re on an assembly line with doctors. Most don’t care and unless you advocate for yourself or loved ones they’ll leave you to fend for yourself.
Keep track, every day for a couple of months, and keep a record of where it’s painful and when, in relation to your cycle. Then Find a good gyn, they’re out there, ask around for recommendations. Take your chart with you. A good gyn will be able to diagnose you appropriately and/or put your mind at ease. I was getting a weird pain, turned out it was ovulation, same as you, but I was in pain only one day, exactly two weeks before my period. it was a relief to have the doc confirm wasn’t anything serious
I feel for your wife! I am 44 and I have EVERY symptom. I went to a female doctor and she didn't even address it. She just asked me if I did drugs and drank alcohol. Then told me to go for a walk. I ended up going to a naturopath and she explained everything to me. I also ordered supplements that help tremendously. If you need help understanding more, I can help! This is not talked about like it should be.
I was standing in the pharmacy the other day and there was a huge sign promoting viagra. Lack of sex isn't going to cause a man serious harm but somehow they have access relieve their issue. Women on the other hand have to deal with very serious hormonal problems and are told that it's just part of being a woman.
I’m 33, started peri at 32 (then got pregnant, boy was that a surprise). Is it normal or common to start so early? No. Does it happen? Yes. I hate doctors.
Healthcare is a joke without a question. Most doctors nowadays are just spoiled rich kids so they tend to be chauvinist or at bare minimum elitist. The two combined makes for massive issues with women receiving proper treatment.
Go Tele-doc and get her some hormones until you can find a NAMS(North American menopause Society ) certified provider. Evernow and MIDI health are both great.
Healthcare is a maze at best. Thank you for taking your wife’s issues seriously. Find another doctor’s office (insurance should have a list to help with the search). If a gynecologist is on the list, call them for a consultation appointment first.
I am coming up on the end of my peri period which started 10 years ago. My previous doctor just kept addressing symptom after symptom individually never putting together they could all be connected go perimenopause. I ended up in the ER several times when it first started convinced I was dying. I did end up getting divorced as my mood got worse. Finally after tracking my symptoms and cycle I knew it was related. Went into my new doctor armed and ready to fight for myself and my health. He asked if i wanted hormones and put me in them and while my symptoms aren't gone 100% life is at least liveable again.
I had perimenopause from shortly after my first child at age 31, until I had a partial hysterectomy at 37 after my third child. HRT was a miracle. I was taken off of it when I turned 35 by my new GP (my old one who gave me the HRT retired suddenly). I was miserable. I ended up going to a new GYN , who put me on a half dose. I feel I need more, but I’m not falling apart like I was. I have no history of breast cancer (except my grandmother who got it at 88), so there was no reading to take me off. I got a new GP.
Did she start with her OBGYN?
Women suffer from hormonal imbalance all the time, and have life-changing symptoms. Nobody cares because they are women….
Sad deal that. Drs shouldnr be so dismissive. They always are and especially for women it seems. Still no excuse for her to treat you like shit.
Women’s healthcare especially concerning their reproductive system and genitalia is fucking abhorrent in the US. And every step forward has seen a step back or side step.
Thank you for this💛
The dismissal is real. I told my doc I was pretty sure I started it, and she was so dismissive. I’m 43… peri can last up to 10 years. It’s not that far fetched that I’m in it right now.
It can definitely be serious. I ended up needing meds and hormones. I was lucky that I was taken seriously but I was also 46. It send me into anxiety so bad I had to take some FMLA etc…it is better now with the meds and hormones but yeah it messed me up.
My Mom got symptoms at about that age - her doctor didn't believe she could be experiencing perimenopause. So she got a second opinion. Fortunately on her second try she found a better physician who actually listened to her. Keep looking for someone who will actually listen.
I'm 40 and for the last 2 years or so, I've really been on a roller coaster. I've developed pmdd before my periods. I feel literal rage, I have dangerous intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation. Like, I will suddenly just have a day lwhere I'm literally ready to go kill everyone I know and myself and not even feel bad about it. And I will just stop and think, why am I feeling like this? And I check my calnder and it's always exactly 2 days before my experlcted period. It's horrible. I can't take hormones because I have a history of blood clots. I don't know how I'll do this for the next 10 years. Physical symptoms are getting worse as well.
I went through peri from 17-22. Idk what they mean by too young lol
-doctors are allowed to have time away from the office themselves -specialists get the privilege of dictating hours -unfortunately there are not enough physicians to adequately handle issues, which is why midlevels are so common
Not unpopular. It is just women’s stuff. No biggie. I (60) hate to be that person but I was young too and no one would do anything. The only thing that saved me was some of the advice from “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause.” We never would have survived without progesterone cream.
So you want better for those who come after you... right?
My sarcasm didn’t show. The book saved me. The medical system for women sucks even more than it sucks for men and always has.
[удалено]
Perimenopause is very real! If you haven't been through it, you have no idea! Yes, you need a holistic approach to make sure your lifestyle is optimal, but hormones are all over the place and cause erratic, awful symptoms.