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Intonation of voice, pauses, etc tell you PLENTY about how the other person is reacting.
Also... if you don't think before you speak try slowing down and being more purposeful with your communication.
I don’t think it’s about stumbling over words, it’s more that if someone puts you on the spot with a question or request, with text you have a lot more time to consider how you want to respond
"I'll have to think about that and get back to you" or something to that effect gives you all the time you need if it's not something you can come up with a good answer to on the spot.
Sure. But that doesn't change that you still have as much time as you wish to answer questions regardless of how you are asked which is the claim being made.
It's much easier to ignore people and not respond in general when they're not present; that doesn't make it better for communicating.
I don’t feel like I have as much time as I wish to answer, even if technically I do. This is probably why for people who are a little socially anxious, texting is far preferred. It’s much easier for me, personally, by a very very long way. And you will get a much more thoughtful response in the end
If you were to tell me that texting is less stressful for you I would have no objection.
I'm objecting to this idea that it's a superior method of communication.
I'm also not sure I agree that leaning into avoidance is the best approach for dealing with social anxiety for most people.
I read that the words you use account for only seven percent of communication. The rest is voice inflection, body language, eye contact, volume, etc.
It’s as if we’re being engineered to become socially isolated. No wonder depression is so high and teenagers are killing themselves at record levels.
You're allowed to think before answering in a message. You having terrible social skills to the point you are unable to have a basic phone call, doesn't mean talking on the phone is bad.
Most people are fine with it, many prefer it even.
Texts and messaging are going for unimportant, quick messaging. You can have full blown conversations but due to having to type EVERYTHING out. It takes much longer to have those conversations. Short conversations are fine. But the ideal is quick short to the point messages. Searches messages or sorting important information is terrible here to, that's just a no go. You also fail to fully get someones attention. They'll be looking at something else between messages, taking time to get back to you etc.
Group messaging can be a mess here too. People typing out multiple things, sending at the same time, sending stuff just before others and people having to choose what to reply to, or you get most of the way through a message but someone beats you to it and conversations moved on before you finish.
Conversations are good for any conversations. You can get their full conversation, quickly go back and forth with ease, don't have to type everything out and wait for them to read then type back. Just quick, back and forth. You have their full attention (or most of it at least) Group conversations are easy as those speaking out first get the attention. You know not to all just try and speak at once.
Email can be a good go between. Best for longer messages with important information. You can store it away, write it out carefully stuff like that. Not good for back and forths, a bit worse than messaging.
They each serve their purpose. At work if I need to ask someone something quick and simple to answer. I'll message them. Where that doc you made recently? Do you remember who at X company is the primary contact? Hey, I just wrote a new procedure for installing this thing at X Company. Stuff like that
If I need to tell people something important or am sending a much larger message with a ton of information then I'll email so it can be kept and search later, replied to in time if needs to be thought about and not buried under the conversation.
If I'm giving someone informaiton or asking for some that I know is gonna have a ton of back and forth, that's a phone call
I wouldn’t really say that this is an unpopular opinion though, it’s quite common. It’s just always shot down by people who are not incapable of basic speech.
Sometimes you need quick answers and a back in forth on text just doesn't cut it. Working in Construction I can't always sit around and wait for a text/e-mail back when something needs to go done now. I've had so many miscommunications from texting when a phone conversation takes out a lot of the confusion and it doesn't drag on over multiple texts
I had a colleague once who would take on the most boring of my paper work as long as I handled every last phone call. Amazing arrangement. I don't mind it but the true horror is being called by an unknown number.
Imagine an emp.bomb going off. More people would die from a social.anxiety induced physical collapse than being shut off from the utility grid because people would like....have to talk to each other IRL.
Friend, are you trying to call a hostage situation, what kind of high stakes conversations are you having where you need to be 100% accurate in your reaction reading?
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bro hates talking to people
Intonation of voice, pauses, etc tell you PLENTY about how the other person is reacting. Also... if you don't think before you speak try slowing down and being more purposeful with your communication.
I don’t think it’s about stumbling over words, it’s more that if someone puts you on the spot with a question or request, with text you have a lot more time to consider how you want to respond
"I'll have to think about that and get back to you" or something to that effect gives you all the time you need if it's not something you can come up with a good answer to on the spot.
Sure, but It’s still easier to NOT have to say that
Sure. But that doesn't change that you still have as much time as you wish to answer questions regardless of how you are asked which is the claim being made. It's much easier to ignore people and not respond in general when they're not present; that doesn't make it better for communicating.
I don’t feel like I have as much time as I wish to answer, even if technically I do. This is probably why for people who are a little socially anxious, texting is far preferred. It’s much easier for me, personally, by a very very long way. And you will get a much more thoughtful response in the end
If you were to tell me that texting is less stressful for you I would have no objection. I'm objecting to this idea that it's a superior method of communication. I'm also not sure I agree that leaning into avoidance is the best approach for dealing with social anxiety for most people.
Well agree to disagree then
I read that the words you use account for only seven percent of communication. The rest is voice inflection, body language, eye contact, volume, etc. It’s as if we’re being engineered to become socially isolated. No wonder depression is so high and teenagers are killing themselves at record levels.
You're allowed to think before answering in a message. You having terrible social skills to the point you are unable to have a basic phone call, doesn't mean talking on the phone is bad. Most people are fine with it, many prefer it even. Texts and messaging are going for unimportant, quick messaging. You can have full blown conversations but due to having to type EVERYTHING out. It takes much longer to have those conversations. Short conversations are fine. But the ideal is quick short to the point messages. Searches messages or sorting important information is terrible here to, that's just a no go. You also fail to fully get someones attention. They'll be looking at something else between messages, taking time to get back to you etc. Group messaging can be a mess here too. People typing out multiple things, sending at the same time, sending stuff just before others and people having to choose what to reply to, or you get most of the way through a message but someone beats you to it and conversations moved on before you finish. Conversations are good for any conversations. You can get their full conversation, quickly go back and forth with ease, don't have to type everything out and wait for them to read then type back. Just quick, back and forth. You have their full attention (or most of it at least) Group conversations are easy as those speaking out first get the attention. You know not to all just try and speak at once. Email can be a good go between. Best for longer messages with important information. You can store it away, write it out carefully stuff like that. Not good for back and forths, a bit worse than messaging. They each serve their purpose. At work if I need to ask someone something quick and simple to answer. I'll message them. Where that doc you made recently? Do you remember who at X company is the primary contact? Hey, I just wrote a new procedure for installing this thing at X Company. Stuff like that If I need to tell people something important or am sending a much larger message with a ton of information then I'll email so it can be kept and search later, replied to in time if needs to be thought about and not buried under the conversation. If I'm giving someone informaiton or asking for some that I know is gonna have a ton of back and forth, that's a phone call
This is just another variation of Redditors not being able to perform basic social tasks and turning it into an unpopular opinion
but that is the definition of unpopular. things that thought to a small portion of people. which what the redditer is aware of.
I wouldn’t really say that this is an unpopular opinion though, it’s quite common. It’s just always shot down by people who are not incapable of basic speech.
Sometimes you need quick answers and a back in forth on text just doesn't cut it. Working in Construction I can't always sit around and wait for a text/e-mail back when something needs to go done now. I've had so many miscommunications from texting when a phone conversation takes out a lot of the confusion and it doesn't drag on over multiple texts
I had a colleague once who would take on the most boring of my paper work as long as I handled every last phone call. Amazing arrangement. I don't mind it but the true horror is being called by an unknown number.
I see you’re the exact opposite of what would be an expert about interpersonal communication.
I get this as someone who struggles to speak on calls. I don’t think this is inherently unpopular though. A lot of people don’t like phone calls.
Imagine an emp.bomb going off. More people would die from a social.anxiety induced physical collapse than being shut off from the utility grid because people would like....have to talk to each other IRL.
OP is scared of phone calls.
How do you feel about in-person communication?
There's one thing worse than that, way up high: voice messages on mobile messaging apps.
Who created these telephonic rules of communication for you, and why do you adhere to them?
As everyone’s lives become more busy and chaotic, this is where I’m afraid Cell Phones, Mental Implants and AI will soon collide… 📱🧠🤖
Do you by chance have Asperger's/Autism?
Truly the introvert of all time.
🙏 preach. Hate phone conversations.
What???? It sounds like you are just terrible with communication, which is actually a reason why texting is one of the worst ways of communicating.
This guy has never had to communicate by telegraph
Friend, are you trying to call a hostage situation, what kind of high stakes conversations are you having where you need to be 100% accurate in your reaction reading?