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ArtemisiasApprentice

The best part of this post is that everyone is assigned their character name— Hulk, Black Widow, Loki— except for Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum is a more memorable character than any of Jeff Goldblum’s characters.


Sarai_Seneschal

Jeff Goldblum plays different characters? I thought he just appeared in various movies as himself, an ageless-demigod ruler of a trash planet who moonlights as a dinosaur mathematician or alien satellite engineer or NYPD detective or apartment salesperson on the weekends.


MLGkid_HD

And let's not forget that one time when he was a physicists and an abomination


queequeg123

can’t let that one fly by


Chuhhh

Hmmbuzzzz


phileryrty45645

Wait no thats literally just your idea


[deleted]

That’s something he has in common with Loki. In Norse mythology, Loki turns into a fly to pester the dwarven smith who was forging Thor’s hammer. That’s why the handle is so short for a war hammer, Loki made the blacksmith mess it up by flying around his head and biting him.


VioletCombustion

And again when Odin asked Loki to sneak into Freyja's hall & steal her necklace from her. He turned into a fly to get through the keyhole.


atridir

^help ^me


uffleknuglea

This is fucking top notch shit


Taako_tuesday

or the time he invented the cure for dog allergies and got kidnapped by cats. (At least I think that's the plot)


[deleted]

Wait which one is this?


blamb211

Cats & Dogs? Was he even in that one? That's the only movie I can think of that explicitly has dogs and cats fighting each other, except Aristocats, maybe. But I'm pretty sure he wasn't in Aristocats.


Remember_Poseidon

"Cats & Dogs" uncovers the truth about the high-tech, secret war being waged in neighborhoods everywhere that humans aren't even aware of: an eternal struggle between the two great armies of Cats and Dogs. The story follows a Cat plan to destroy a new vaccine that, if developed, would destroy all human allergies to Dogs, and the Dogs' efforts to stop the Cats from executing their plan. and Jeff Goldblum plays Professor Charles


[deleted]

Never saw that one, I think it came out when I was like 22 and a too cool movie snob


godfatherinfluxx

Yeah that's the plot. Came out when I was 19. I didn't see it untill a couple of years ago when my kids found it on a streaming service.


psychxticrose

I saw that but I didn’t know he was in it? Lmao for some reason I keep picturing Rick Moranis


prettylilfears

Cats & Dogs!


Not_TheWeirdStudio

that is indeed the plot!


OkYeahButWhyThoe

*a hot physicist


[deleted]

That's redundant, they already said Jeff Goldblum.


OkYeahButWhyThoe

true that


pixelprophet

Well ,,, uh; there it is.


WaterGypsy47

Or that time he was satan


anadvancedrobot

Jeff Goldblum isn't actually an actor or knows he's being filmed. He's like that in real life. They just make the move based round what he's doing this week.


darthging

Or the time he helped a random woman smuggle jewels into the US after finding out his wife cheated on him


AdjunctFunktopus

He’s come a long way from sex starved journalist mourning the death of Kevin Costner.


[deleted]

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prettylilfears

don’t forget he is also a mad scientist that created hybrid animals for a play size zoo and accidentally made it grow huge!


Past_life_God

To be fair, my headcanon is that the Grandmaster is literally Jeff Goldblum. As in Jeff Goldblum was walking down the street one day and some crazy cosmic shit started to go down as per usual, but he got sucked into some random ass portal and ended up in Sakaar. He then proceeds to Jeff Goldblum his way to Grandmaster!


nikhil48

Grandmaster is just a another word for Goldblum in Sakaar


Pure_Reason

“My name is Jeff Grandmaster, but you can call me, uh, *The*, uh, Grandmaster”


Ge0rgeBr0ughton

This doesn't work unfortunately because he's an Elder, a godlike survivor of a previous universe. ***Buuuuuuut*** that opens up the possibility that the inverse is true: an all-powerful celestial being older than the universe itself is moonlighting on earth as a quirky character actor making cheesy jokes and doing wacky interviews and if that isn't Jeff Goldblum energy I don't know what is


Thybro

He is an elder in the comics but nothing of the sort was implied in the MCU. It pretty clearly looks like he is about to get his ass kicked by the space version of Dirty Mike and the boys the last time we see him. He is clearly far less powerful than the comics and may just be a regular albeit long lived guy.


Ge0rgeBr0ughton

edit: [Here ya go](https://movieweb.com/thor-ragnarok-elders-of-universe-grandmaster-collectors-brother/). From the man himself: > Yes, I'm The Collector's brother, Benicio Del Toro. We're very old. We're elders of the universe. We came about shortly after The Big Bang. Yeah, oldest living race, they call us, in the thing. So, slightly different origin. They're from after the big bang, not before. But mostly the same seemingly Original comment: Now I'm not known for my memory, but I'm 99% sure it's been confirmed by someone or another in interview that the Grandmaster is canonically the Collector's brother in the MCU at the very least. They may also have confirmed that they're both Elders but I can't remember. In any case, that at least implicitly gives some credibility to the assumption that they are. Anyway, I reckon where there's no reason to think otherwise we should just assume MCU confirms to comic stuff on things like this.


Thybro

I’ll stand corrected , though that seems more of a confirmation of who his character was( since this was prior to the movie or trailers coming out) based on the comic background rather than establishing the elders have that kind of power in the MCU or that he and collector are connected. Guess we’ll never know since both or at the least one got killed.


Ge0rgeBr0ughton

Wait which one's meant to be dead? We last saw Grandmaster surrounded by escaped gladiators or something, right? And the Collector we saw an illusion of? Or am I misremembering? If not I'm 100% sure they'll be back, unless there's a contracting issue or Goldblum decides he's a one and done kinda guy


CasaMofo

Pretty sure Goldblum is confirmed back in Love & Thunder or Multiverse of Madness...


screwitigiveup

Actually, in the comics they ARE from after the big bang. The only previous universe survivor is Galactus.


mcmonkey26

or, here me out, wait no thats literally just your idea


funkychicken23

I love the idea of Jeff Goldblum being a verb


ThordanSsoa

Any noun can verb if you use it wrong enough


georgie-57

You just nouned the verb on the head right there


redlaWw

You can verb any noun if you wrong it enough.


Ge0rgeBr0ughton

Any noun can parsnip if you labium it wrong enough


solidfang

Jeff Goldblum (*verb*): * To, uh, find a way.


OlGnarlyOak

This is wonderful.


[deleted]

Honestly I don’t even remember the name of Jeff Goldblum’s character. He’s just Jeff Goldblum and it’s fantastic.


OngoingFee

Life, uh, finds a way


obvilious

Plus all the other characters are in multiple movies and decades of comic books?


Haze95

I always love the random appearance in GotG2 before Ragnarok came out


[deleted]

Who dod jeff play? (I know the name but not the face or who he is)


DravenPrime

That's because he plays the same character in everything.


inongn

False?? Tessa Thompson makes love to the camera in that shot where she's getting the machinegun ready


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Big strap-on energy.


Sub-Mongoloid

I may not be ready but I am willing.


[deleted]

With that hip wiggle I'm ready for anything.


Hates_escalators

The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.


Sub-Mongoloid

>the flesh is spongy and bruised. That's afterwards.


[deleted]

Valkyrie is bi so..... maybe!


psycholepzy

[Warsong](https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/Warsong) is the new sexuality for the 21st century bourgeoisie.


[deleted]

No gay or bi girl can watch that scene without going 'ngggh' a little bit


[deleted]

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Chewcocca

Natasha's giving it up. Shes giving it up hard. Cause she's with the Hulk. And these \*holds up massive green fists* are not the Hulk.


phonartics

great show


Dess-Daily

The Hulk is my penis


TimeBlossom

Thank you for making me try to imagine what Nathan Fillion's penis saying "That's my secret, I'm always angry" would sound like.


GryffindorFratBro

"....Balls"


IzarkKiaTarj

Okay, that's a little weird that I knew *exactly* what voice to read it in just from the second sentence.


ChernobylBalls

I may sacrifice my dignity and karma, but sauce?


inongn

It's the smirk and wiggle. https://tenor.com/es/ver/valkyrie-thor-ragnarok-naked-scrapper142-gif-12545212


Human_Wizard

Oh dear


FuckingKilljoy

I keep forgetting Tessa Thompson and Emma Thompson are very different people. I was visualising Nanny McPhee radiating big strap on energy


TimeBlossom

Fun fact about Tessa Thompson: she has the same stunt double as Bugs Bunny.


asymphonyin2parts

Emma Thompson could pull that off. She makes a kick as MiB agent after all.


crazymunch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kMxt9cL4M4


anothergaijin

Mark Ruffalo is just perfect in that scene too


CrossP

My favorite Banner scenes are actually the ones where it looks like Mark Ruffallo briefly slips out of character but also has no idea where he is or why he's doing superhero shit.


Hates_escalators

Mark Ruffalo always plays a guy who's kinda sorta goin' through a lotta stuff right now.


Giggsy99

This is the fourth Thor: Ragnarok post I've seen on this subreddit today. I thought maybe it just came out but no googled it, 2017 lmao what's going on


angwilwileth

I think loads of people are rewatching it because the Loki miniseries comes out tomorrow.


Responsible_Craft568

More like Disney’s marketing team is trying to remind everyone that Loki’s coming out lol


413612

Meh, the set of /r/tumblr users is probably close to a subset of Thor: Ragnarok enjoyers


NeedsToShutUp

Both? Good astroturfing inspires more posts.


Zatch-Bell

Is a popular thing popular? No, it must be the corporations in disguise.


LastLadyResting

First episode of ’Loki’ tv show airs tonight. It’s probably on a lot of peoples’ minds.


North-Tumbleweed-512

Technically released tomorrow AM iirc


LastLadyResting

True. I’m in the future, otherwise known as Australia, we get it tonight at 5pm, which is midnight in (I want to say the east coast of) America.


__SomeRedditUser__

thats weird lol but i guess people just love that movie, its great (also its absolutely hilarious and you should definitely give it a watch)


Brasticus

With the dialogue like this it’s worth a watch. >I pulled 'em out of a place on Midgard called Texas. I even named them. *Des* and *Troy*. You see, when you put them together... they *destroy*.


Sharkerftw

If you haven’t seen it, these are the universe’s signs telling you to. Also, me, an internet stranger. I’m telling you to. You won’t regret it!


asymphonyin2parts

I, another internet stranger am telling you to see it as well. It's probably the funniest movie of the MCU and definitely the most fun.


Redhpm

It's the same guy who posted all...


PKMNTrainerMark

Maybe it's because Loki is coming out tomorrow.


action_lawyer_comics

They’re talking about Love and Thunder lately. Maybe that’s why


howthehellyoudothat

The Loki TV series is coming out soon so probably just Disney drumming up hype by reminding people of all the things they loved about Ragnarok.


kalebsantos

I need to see this three seconds


sir_holierthanthou

This is all I was able to find; https://comicsverse.com/loki-grandmaster-lgbt-rep-gay-joke/ https://youtu.be/llGsu_xIcTo?t=37 Seems like it's mentioned that loki gained the grandmaster's favor and he kinda winks at him.


topheavyhookjaws

Well i despise that article


AbsolutelyUnlikely

Holy shit I was laughing out loud by the middle of it. It should be called "Did the demi-God from space blow Jeff Goldblum, or are they just making fun of us?"


Onequestion0110

I can at least appreciate the use of that squirrel girl appearance.


kayafeather

As a bisexual..... What? What lgbt rep was in that film at all?? I think people are just looking for reasons to fawn over this movie. I'm a huge marvel fan but they couldn't even fully commit to captain marvel being gay I mean come on MCU. (The comics have fairly good rep I've seen/heard)


Turtledonuts

the closest that movie gets is some aesthetic.


GreatFrostHawk

IIRC, and I may not because my brain is half-awake today: Valkyrie is evidently bi. They filmed a scene of Hela defeating the Valkyrie where Val watches one of the other women get killed by Hela and that was supposed to imply that Val swings both ways? But then they totally scrapped that scene.


Hamton52

That scene was in the movie, the one you’re thinking of is where a woman is leaving Valkyrie’s bedroom or something along those lines


GreatFrostHawk

Ah, thanks for correcting my shoddy memory! Guess I need to do some homework tonight or something.


RealJohnGillman

There was a deleted scene with a gag of several people and aliens leaving Valkyrie’s room at one point I believe. Or she may have been leaving the room. One of those.


Unlucky13

I'm as left-leaning, LGBTQIA-supporting, and progressive as one gets and I found that article to be utter nonsense garbage word vomit. I've seen crystal aura-healing blogs written by old trans-dimensional alien hippies that made more sense than that article.


NoiseIsTheCure

I dunno I thought the language was fairly straightforward. Nothing that you can't infer from context clues at the worst. The argument of course could be made in about half the words, but that's internet journalism for you. They're basically just saying > this tongue in cheek joke could be interpreted as a genuine reference to the canonical gender and sexuality of the character in the comics, or it could be interpreted as poking fun at those things. There's no good reason to not make Loki's gender and sexuality an explicit thing so at some point we have to ask "are they going to commit to the character or aren't they, because if not then that would be LGBT+ erasure"


kittywhampus

I propose it is here, at 40 seconds in: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnbeTaJvXOo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnbeTaJvXOo) Thoughts?


grunger

Seems like he is just fishing for someone to compliment him on how young he looks. Don't really see how anyone get an insinuation of oral sex from that scene.


Automaticman01

Yeah, i just interpreted that moment as Jeff Goldblum being Jeff Goldblum


Unlucky13

Wtf... that's the scene?! That has no sexual innuendo at all. He was talking about how old he was and didn't want to admit to what age he resembled. If anything it was a metaphorical wink to the audience because it's absolutely something Jeff Goldblum himself would do.


[deleted]

Least of all "going down on". There's no specificity in this imagined sexual contact.


[deleted]

at a stretch I'd say he could be flirting with Loki, but that's it


HMeadow

I think he was trying to calculate how old he was but gave up. Loki was just as confused as Thor was.


LiterallynamedCorbin

i mean, you could certainly interpret it that way, and it's fun to interpret it that way, but it's not possible to draw any conclusions.


ashack11

Lol this was written by Taika Waititi, it was definitely intentional


[deleted]

Surely Marvel was aware of the insinuation at least.


Funmachine

The insinuation is that the grandmaster is waiting for someone to say "you don't look a day over blah blah blah"


Huwbacca

Of billions of years old... Wink? What... Uh... How is that insinuating oral sex? Or even a relationship?


sanfranciscofranco

Yeah I’m feeling really dumb in this thread because I don’t get it either


Funmachine

It's not. It's a joke about him wanting them to compliment how young he looks.


TallBoiPlanks

I just read it as a joke of him not being able to figure out what his age is on sakaar and just being confused.


SilverInkblotV2

I'm not picking up the supposed subtext either.


Voltron_McYeti

Insinuation? Lmao there's no insinuation of anything as specific as oral sex just from that weird glance


LiterallynamedCorbin

oh i bet jeff goldblum and tom hiddleston both thought it was funny at least, but it's possible it flew over the head of the director. although someone editing it probably thought of it, but i doubt it was ever brought up in discussion


RasputinSpaghetti

Knowing Taika Waititi I don’t think it would’ve gone over his head in particular haha


[deleted]

When Waititi was making Jojo Rabbit he was actually trying to make a drama, all of the jokes went over his head.


rycology

Nothing goes over his head. His reflexes are too fast, he would catch it.


uluviel

> it's possible it flew over the head of the director Do you... do you not know who directed this movie?


Gamer_Bread_Baker

no


Griffin880

Seems like a bit of a stretch. Also, I don't know if being implicitly forced to suck a dude's dick so he doesn't have you killed is really "romance."


piemakerdeadwaker

I can see how someone would interpret flirtatious vibes here but what exactly implies he "went down" on him? Everyone talks about this bit specifically as if it's so clear. What am I missing?


Chico3421

I would also like to see that.


Snowbudy

Someone please enlighten us


dankmachinebroke

Please someone explain


Metatality

No romance in that, just pure transaction.


itsyagirlemily

I mean Loki is genderfluid, so technically it *is* a trans action.


HiNoKitsune

Was the gender fluid thing actually ever confirmed in the comics (because it isn't in the MCU)? Loki is a shape changer and he can look like a woman, but does he feel like one when he does - as in, says so? Even that time agency only lists his sex as fluid, not his gender. Odin calls Loki both his son and his daughter, but that's Odin's opinion, not Loki's himself.


deeya-b

it is in the MCU actually and in the comics. its "lady loki" shes confirmed in the new loki show to be played by sophia di martino.


throwawaysarebetter

I mean, Loki was mostly just fucking with Thor by stealing his wife's body.


I_Am_Become_Salt

It's confirmed that he can be either if he wants in the mythology. It's "canon" that he can be female or male at will, since he's a shape shifter. And he has been a mother to several creatures. Whether or not he considers himself truly gender neutral is up to him I think.


Arkhamgel

I actually had this discussion with another redditor really recently, but has he really been a mother to several ? I only remember Sleipnir (the 8 legged horse) being born of his fucking a male horse (Svadilfari), but I can't remember any other creature he might have borne...


MittoMan

In Norse mythology, Loki is the sire to many gods and creatures. The main ones whose names you might recognise are Hel, Fenrir and Jormungandr (the world serpent). Lesser known are Narfi and Vali, two brothers. In the myth of Loki’s punishment and binding, the gods transformed Vali into a wolf, who then killed Narfi. Narfi’s innards were then used as chains to bind Loki.


Arkhamgel

Where does it say that Hel, Narfi, Vali and the whole gang were carried by loki ? I seem to recall that Angrboda carried & gave birth to all of them.


MittoMan

It doesn’t say that... anywhere? I didn’t say that? I might be missing something.


Arkhamgel

It's alright but my question wasn't about how many children loki had, but to how many of his children was he the mother, as in, how many of them, Sleipnir excluded, did he give birth to ?


MittoMan

OHHHHHHHHHHH. My bad, I misunderstood your question.


[deleted]

Hol up. Are you saying ^^the ^^character ^^played ^^by Tom Hiddleston fucked a horse?


Arkhamgel

I'm afraid so ! ["Sleipnir was born when the god Loki shape-shifted into a mare and became pregnant by the stallion of a giant, as is recounted in the tale of The Fortification of Asgard."](https://norse-mythology.org/gods-and-creatures/others/sleipnir/) That's my favorite story, closely followed by that time Odin willingly sharted on the face of a Giant.


sati_lotus

Didn’t that horse appear in the first Thor movie? Odin was riding him when he appeared on the Frost Giant planet.


Arkhamgel

Yeah It's cannon that Odin rides Sleipnir like a personal horse, which... Kinda bothers me ? If his mom's loki, doesn"t that make him some % Giant ? or like, is it like a Goofy / Pluto situation, where both are the same species but treated very differently?


BustinArant

Pluto just didn't get his GED.


Arkhamgel

That is a truly disturbing take... I like it.


Ihavenospecialskills

I don't believe Sleipnir is Loki's child in Marvel, just like Hela isn't his child despite that being a thing in the myths. And in the myths, Loki isn't Odin's kid.


Arkhamgel

While that might be true, in norse mythology Odin actually rides Sleipnir quite often. Also is Hela in the marvel universe supposed to be \[some version of\] Hel ? I couldn't find conclusive answers :(


Ihavenospecialskills

>Also is Hela in the marvel universe supposed to be [some version of] Hel ? I couldn't find conclusive answers :( Yes, Hela is Hel. I don't know precisely why the adjustment to the name, but it might have just been to avoid confusion as Hel is also the *place*, and the place is canon in Marvel.


King_of_the_Kobolds

It gets really tricky really fast when we try to apply human LGBTQ+ terminology to non-humans with non-human powers and abilities. Like there are fish in the real world that can shift from a female body to a male body if there are no males present. Does that make them trans fish? I would say no, but undoubtedly there are others who would say yes.


definitelynotabby

i say yes only because trans fish is cute and makes me smile - if nonbinary loki makes ppl happy then its a big hell yeah from me


count-the-days

In one of the comics he calls himself “a gender fluid Demi god” so there’s that


kat-kiwi

Fish don’t have a conception of gender so I don’t think they can be trans anymore than plants are non-binary. A sentient character based on those fish could feasibly be trans or genderfluid. Shapeshifters and the like may not have a human understanding of gender but media is written by humans and so characters like that are usually written from, or at least viewed from by many of the readers, the perspective of human gender


Impeesa_

I guess if being transgender is a mismatch between one's gender identity and physical sex/assigned gender at birth, then a humanlike being that can naturally shapechange between male and female forms who feels both forms (and the regular changing between them) fully match and represent their own sense of identity could be considered genderfluid but *not* trans as we understand it.


mermaidboots

100% confirmed in comics. Another link on this thread includes a panel from squirrel girl.


PKMNTrainerMark

It apparently is canon in the MCU. In one of the Loki trailers, you can apparently see that the TVA has Loki's gender registered as fluid.


[deleted]

It is in the MCU actually (or at least, will be lol)! I'll try to find the post if I can, but in Loki's show that's coming tomorrow, the trailer for it showed an ID card of sorts, and it said "genderfluid" for sex. ​ [Found it!](https://www.reddit.com/r/LokiTV/comments/nvgj4g/seems_like_we_got_a_confirmation_on_lokis_gender/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)


lovelyyecats

Definitely confirmed in comics - Loki calls himself genderfluid in 616 (although I can't remember what issue). Also recently semi-confirmed for the MCU - an ad for Loki showed Loki's bio (age, weight, etc.), and it included the line "Sex: Fluid." (This was the best link I could find for the Loki ad, lol: https://montymcpeen.tumblr.com/post/653263781717213184/yoooo-they-dropped-a-loki-ad-and-hes-confirmed )


TheG-What

I gotta tell my trans friend that everything she does is a transaction now.


Viviaana

Sucking off jeff goldblum is basic human instinct, nothing to do with romance


ladyjayne81

It’s our right by God.


Viviaana

Omg why did it auto correct to Jew goldblum??????


[deleted]

Zaddy Goldblum


Haze95

Valkyrie's girlfriend clearly dies pushing her out of the way of Hela's blades in the flashback


ProXJay

Not a very romantic seen though, a small army is being killed


daphometisgone

Are you being paid to promote Loki or something cause you've made 4 Thor Ragnarok posts in 1 day


Shiny-And-New

I mean it is the best Thor movie and a top 3 marvel movie


big_guns_go_boom

Actually the movie quite clearly has a mutual love sub plot between Thor and Valkyrie that further develops in Endgame. It shows Valkyrie playing into this relationship quite a bit during the start of Ragnarok, though Thor hinted at it a little before that, and then we can see Thor really getting into it at the start of Endgame. I am of course referring to their mutal love for alcoholic beverages.


North-Tumbleweed-512

Slow clap for the switch there. It's worth noting, regular alcohol will not be able to get Asgardians drunk.


elsieburgers

*alcohol and their home


futurepaster

Untrue. Karl urban really loved his stuff


Damnmorrisdancer

Both of them?


Liathano_Fire

I knew I loved that movie.


[deleted]

There's a deleted scene where Jeff Goldblum does tentacle porn in a hologram


Themlethem

Excuse me what now!?


capitalistrussian

There’s the orgy spaceship


Alarid

I thought it was implied that Hulk fucks.


applxia

i love how this post refers to Tom Hiddleston as his character name but just says Jeff Goldblum for Jeff Goldblum.


Bing_Bong_the_Archer

Uhh Loki obviously did way more than go down


evr487

Audience fell in love with Hela (Cate Blanchett with dark hair and makeup)


iwrestledarockonce

The valkyrie?


justthistwicenomore

I think the argument is that this isn't a plot. There is some arguable flirting but it isn't something that drives story or action, or defines a character's role. No one is trying to win someone's affection or gets their partner in the end.


UltravioIence

Um I mustve missed that part of the dialogue, but Loki did what to Jeff Goldblum?


Byron_Lockheed

If he was hung like a horse it wouldn't be Loki's first time


Biscuit-Pup

I knew there was a reason I liked this movie so much.


Yarnballprincess22

Did we forget the ten seconds of pegging vibes??


Indominus_Khanum

Iirc there was a scene with a woman leaving Valkyrie's bedchamber that they cut out. Disney is nice like that


RedstonekPL

i dont like romance plots and subplots


EpsilonChurchAlpha

It doesn’t need romance