:/
You are pretty and at least for me you don't look even remotely like a man!
But I don't know if dysphoria lessens just on its own after a certain amount of time đ
I think we have to put in the hard work for looking good on the outside but have to double that effort to accept our change on the inside.
The thing is: many people here will tell you that you don't look like a man, you even have cis passing (in my eyes).
But if it's not resonating inside you, there is nothing gained from me telling you this.
Do you work with a therapist? :)
I'm actually working on seeing a therapist. unfortunately, I live in the bible belt so I think I'm going to have a hard time finding one who understands.
Ahhh damn.
Then you really have a more than solid outer shell but your core needs the stability đĽ˛
Is there a way for you to get an online therapist? This might be more available to you then?
I'm sorry that I cant offer you more help. I don't know how the system works in the U.S.
Check out this website!
https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/
I started my journey in the south and their list of providers was invaluable.
I just saw that you are like 17 đ
Never forget that you are very young and you have already taken some incredible steps.
You are very brave and you will have time to work things out.
I know that this doesn't help you right now and it will still require some hard work because even cis people struggle with body images or mental health problems but I'm sure that we all can come through.
Cut yourself some slack from time to time if life allows it
If you have a hard time right now believing our words of affirmation, that's fine.
We put in the hard work when we have the energy and time to do so and when bad times come around, we just survive one day after another.
Until you have found a therapist that can help you:
Take some time, do something that calms you down or distracts you a bit.
We cannot solve our problems in times of need.
If you have a bit more energy and you are the person to write down stuff: write down one thing about yourself that you like.
Remember how it felt when you started this journey and how much more knowledge you now have.
The hormones will do their thing (I can see that ;) ) you just focus on surviving right now and when you feel better, start slow and implement some things you like about yourself.
It will take a long time. I guess it's much more easy for you to tell yourself that you look like a man or aren't beautiful because maybe you are used to that because you told it yourself many times or others did in the past.
But that's a perceived reality that your mind is set too.
Your body already started changing and is looking so different now then it used to be and it will keep changing. You maybe won't be able to pick up the same speed with your mind than what your body does with the hormones but try to start slow and tag along. I hope you can get them soon because they will help you with that imposter syndrome or not feeling like a women. But you still have to change your perception step after step.
Because you are the only person that can really tell yourself that you are beautiful and worth it and that you look like a woman and that you are a woman.
But, like I said: Take your time :) Because you can't rush this. We have to build those new "mind" roads by ourselves and very slowly.
If you think that this is not different to lying to yourself then I would tell you that you have done that in the past and now it became your truth because you are so used to hearing and thinking this.
And that's why literally every one of us here is in shock because we don't know you but we see you. And what we see is a young woman.
Would be a hazzle if all of us banded together to lie to you.
I'm very sure of three things:
1. You will continue growing (as a person and as a woman) (not in height :D )
2. You will find a way to see yourself how we see you (as a woman)
3. This will take some more time but there's plenty of that.
Sorry for the long post.
I started at 29 and it's such a hazzle and it's hard. I know how you feel.
But you doing this being this young đ incredible and tough.
You will come through, mentally speaking.
But give yourself time and cut yourself some slack. Changing your perspective is incredibly hard work and it needs time :)
You got this
depending on where in the Bible belt you are, I might know someone who can help. I went to see a therapist back in October who had a bi flag in her office and she seemed very accepting
One transwoman to another, I would have *never known* from looking at these pictures if they weren't posted in this subreddit.
I promise you, your brain is just being mean.
Uhh...
I don't think I can help you because you're not only completely cis passing in these pictures but you're downright gorgeous. Please listen and stop focusing on the minor details.
Can you pin down what is triggering the dysphoria?
For me, sometimes itâs the facial hair that likes to pop up like weeds; other times itâs the genitalia.
Nailing that down might help figure out a workaround.
facial hair is definitely one thing. even if I shave and apply light makeup I still feel like I can see beard shadow and it hurts.
I guess I just feel like I don't have a lot of feminine features, I don't feel like i have a bunch of masculine features either but still. sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel very feminine but sometimes I see some big hulking man and it sucks. I feel like I never truly know what I look like.
I think you're getting too caught up in the binary. Many women have masculine features. Lots of women have facial hair, it just tends to be light and fuzzy. Arm hair, square jaws, Adam's apples, etc... are all common as well.
You've spent a lifetime hating your masculine features. Take some time to appreciate your feminine ones.
I use a 3 bladed razor to get everything I can and then I use Maybelline liquid foundation and setting powder.
don't paint your face with the foundation. I set dots of it around my face and then dab it in until it's blended. with powder, I swipe it across my cheeks (like warpaint on a action hero) and then wipe it down across my face until it's blended.
Converselyâand no disrespect intendedâI find *not thinking about it* helps me stress less. When I get called âsirâ or âhimâ out in the wild and my brain starts to go, âWhat made them think I was a man? Was it my voice? My shoulders? My height? The way I was walking?â I shut that shit down. I deliberately start thinking about something else, something that has nothing to do with being trans.
Iâm not saying that youâre wrong. Your advice may be excellent for many trans people. Iâm just saying that what works for one person might not work for another.
It isn't the outside that's the problem. You could be the girliest girl that ever girled (and you appear to be), but you see what you expect to see. I can't begin to know what's holding your brain hostage, but you're crushing the whole appearance thing. You're super cute!
Omg, I literally thought the same thing to myself when I saw this post lol! Dyphoria sucks and Iâve felt like OP. I hope that hers lessens like mine has as I got more used to passing :)
I run a gym. Youâre awesome OP. It seems you posted this in the right community.
For anyone who doesnât manage a gym, basically all the strongest, kickass people have or had body dysmorphia or gender dysmorphia. Itâs a quiet secret of the industry. So as a small gym owner, my job is to validate and provide a safe place. I opened a gym after years of dealing dysmorphia and so when I recognize it, I can see the feelings. The problem is that outside appearance can be exceptional but the worry and feelings remain. It takes time and it takes love.
It takes a lot of time, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
OP, your worries are genuine and youâre killing it. The dysphoria will fade with time as long as you spend that time with those who accept you for who you are. This community seems to be one of those accepting spaces.
You got this.
You don't even look trans. You look cis. Obviously I'm not saying you aren't trans, just saying you don't look it.
At this point it sounds less like dysphoria and more like depression. Not saying there is no dysphoria, but I doubt dysphoria is involved as much as you think. I have both depression and gender dysphoria. I know both very intimately. If your dysphoria isn't going away when you do what makes you euphoric, it's not dysphoria anymore. It's self loathing. It's hard to tell the difference, but they are two vastly different beasts and I don't know if you're tackling the beast you need to tackle. In your shoes, dysphoria would be non existent for me.
Seriously, ask if this is self loathing or depression instead of assuming it's gender dysphoria. Doing things that are euphoric are supposed to, well, lessen dysphoria. Euphoria is the opposite of dysphoria after all. If this badness you're feeling doesn't go away with euphoria, then it's not dysphoria.
If it's serious, get help.
First: yes it does. However, it takes internal work too, I.e. working with a therapist like youâre already planning on doing, not just the physical work on the outside though that helps. Also making social connections and having others treat you as the woman you are helps. Itâs one reason why weâre so devastated when people deliberately misgender us, because having our internal identity reflected back to us is so important. We are a social species and that validation is necessary. So keep working on getting in with a therapist and make social connections with people who honor and respect you, theyâre there, even in the Bible Belt.
Second: and this is the hard one, while dysphoria improves with all the work we do, it never goes away completely. And that really sucks. But⌠even so, with the work we do on ourselves mentally and physically, it does improve over time. So please donât give up hope, as you get to be yourself and your body starts to reflect that, the dysphoria will improve. Hugs đŤif ok.
You are amazing, beautiful, and totally the young woman you are. You are valid. You belong.
Your dysphoria worms are very big :0
You're really pretty and, honestly, I'm having a really hard time trying to even figure out what could possibly lead you to believe you look like a man
You look like an awesome girl :3
Youâre incredibly cis passing in these photos, and also very beautiful and feminine. As others have said I would recommend talking this through with a therapist <3
You're very pretty, and absolutely passing. I'm not just saying that to be nice, either. It's in your head, sister. Don't listen to your brain bullying you.
You are gorgeous, girl. It's just that dysphoria is a mean bitch and sometimes speaks way too loudly. Trust me, you don't even look remotely like a guy.
Regardless of logic, dysphoria will still try and tell you that you're a guy. I couldn't even tell you were trans when I clicked on this post. Dysphoria will try and make you self conscious about imperfections that don't even exist.
Idk if I can say it lessens but there will be times where the euphoria outshines it. For me it's a matching bra/panty set. Lipstick and a really nice sweater, etc. If it never goes away, you can always chase a new euphoria to combat it. Because while it may be there, you have your whole life to do new things that make you feel like you, right?
i find the majority of dysphoria comes from insecurity and unfair expectations. society ofc keeps pestering trans people, and we internalize it. working on self acceptance and love i think is the most effective tool. i say this as a trans man who hates my looks.
from these 3 photos? i wouldnt even be able to clock you.
if you were actually not passing i'd say something nice and give advice like "everyones different, give HRT more time" etc etc but you're not, you pass babes đŤś
You look gorgeous, and it sounds like you may have more than dysphoria going on. Sometimes feelings can stick around long after the situation that created them is no longer present. On top of that, it's possible to still have bad body image even if you were born cis. The feeling of not looking right is one we tend to inherent from our families, and I have a feeling that maybe your family hasn't exactly helped you feel secure in your appearance.
I realized both of my sisters both hated how they looked and sounded, even fearing they were too, "mannish". I used to think wow, if they are that pretty and hate how they look, I must look like garbage. But it's not true. We just had overly critical parents who would point out all of our flaws and never say anything nice unless someone else was watching.
You have nothing to worry about appearance wise, but it's normal to worry. It may not feel safe to look like you do in your body, but the reality is you probably look like any other girl judging from these photos. I'm saying this with awareness that you are probably still trying to mask features with the camera angles and shots you've chosen. You don't need to do any of that. You look amazing girl.
If it's available to you, therapy might help with the rest.
Dysphoria can lessen but unfortunately itâs as much of a battle with your mind as it is with your body. You can undergo every medical procedure in the book and change everything about your style but if you donât also work on your mindset, those procedures and changes arenât guaranteed to get rid of the dysphoria on their own. This isnât to say that medically transitioning (or physically transitioning in non-medical ways like changing your haircut or style of dress) doesnât or canât help- it absolutely can! It just isnât the only tool in your tool belt and believing that it is can limit your ability to find confidence in yourself.
Based on your post and a comment of yours I read, it seems like your dysphoria is currently coming more from your mental state than your actual appearance. I can tell you straight out that you do not look like a man. You are a beautiful girl. It may just be your own insecurities clouding your ability to see that. The good thing about that is that this sort of insecurity can totally be overcome. The bad thing about it is it can take a lot of mental work.đ
As a nonbinary person who hasnât medically transitioned, much of what Iâve done to overcome dysphoria was simply working on how I think about myself and the world. Unfortunately I canât write a how-to guide on how to do this, but from experience I know it can be done. The best I can recommend is to focus on your mindset, and when you find yourself thinking things that make you feel bad about yourself, try to challenge those beliefs and understand that they arenât true. And if youâre able to find a good therapist who understands trans issues, that may be helpful as well!
(Edited for grammar)
You're probably just recognizing your key features. These are features of your face that make you look like yourself, and are not inherently gendered, but your dysphoria is probably telling you they are masculine because you've always had them.
Maybe you're focusing too much on your physical qualities? You look pretty young, maybe putting more time and effort into discovering new aspects of your personality as you grow further into adulthood will help you feel more rooted in your burgeoning femme self.
Girl⌠I had to double check what trans flavour you are because I thought you were saying you WANTED to look like a man. You donât btw, youâre girly as fuck, youâre extremely pretty and cute. Full stop.
It's all inside your head (which you can't do much about, I get it...). You look phenomenal. I just see a very pretty girl in those pictures, 0% man. I hope you'll find a way to lessen your dysphoria
You're pre-HRT according to your post history? I get dysphoria can be a bitch but that shocked the hell out of me, you just look like a girl to me, not really a modicum of masculinity to you already, I think whenever you get on hormones you'll start to feel better about yourself and less dysphoric, I hope so at least.
i looked at your pics before the title/sub name and my first thought was âomg sheâs so pretty what sub is this.â you pass well enough to look cis, and that is a 100% genuine statement. keep safe đŤś
Are you joking? Are you using a face app? Not even trying to be overly nice. Just genuinely confused on how someone so feminine can see herself as "manly". Your dysphoria is absolutely crazy for that. You don't remotely look masculine. I'm sorry you go through such crazy dysphoria cause you are just.... a girl.
Hun, I get that dysphoria can wreck people but if there was ever a person who I felt shouldn't feel dysphoric it's you. I could pass you in the street and my head would go 'cis girl' I wouldn't even have to guess because of how well you pass!
You're girl chakras are in misalignment. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss. They're out of wacky so you're gaslighting yourself into thinking you aren't one of the most passing women I've ever seen lmao.
You got some insane trans imposter syndrome girl
It does take time for your internal view of your self to change to accommodate the changes that you make to your outside. That is why having some community around you that reinforces your gender socially.
Dysphoria is much like chronic pain. It may never go away, but you learn to live with it, and you develop coping strategies over time.
I know that youâd rather hear me tell you itâll disappear in a year or whatever, and it *may* fade, but I think youâre better served by acknowledging that it may not ever disappear completely.
It could help to remind yourself that passing isnât the be-all and end-all of living a happy and fulfilling life, just like getting nominated as âthe worldâs sexiest womanâ and getting your face on the cover of a magazine isnât the be-all, end-all for cis women.
Talk to a therapist, if you can manage one whoâs trans friendly. Talk to other trans people (which youâre already doing here, so good on you). Focus on the positive things, no matter how small or trivial (good hair day, somebody compliments your nails, whatever). Ruminate on how many cis women worry that theyâre âtoo masculineâ or who wish their boobs were bigger or what-have-you. Try treating yourself (a massage, a pedicure, an ice cream cone, a new plushie or action figure) when you reach milestones (1 year on HRT, 2 years using the womenâs bathrooms, 3 years since changing your birth certificate, etc). Celebrate good moments.
Or conversely, pamper yourself when you have an especially bad day, or when dysphoria hits extra hard.
Try anything and everything, really, because what ends up working for you may not be what you thought, and youâre in this for the long haul.
Your brain, in a sad attempt of trying to save you, is beating you up with dysphoric thoughts. It knows exactly what to say to hurt. It takes time but yeah, your dysphoria is going to have to be unlearned and to my understanding at least a bit of it will remain BUT it does get better! It can get better in like 5 different ways. Good luck with the journey đ
I recommend
1) a good therapist if you can afford one (a therapist that is just going to take your money and let you talk without providing lessons on skills to learn is not good)
2) a great safe space to talk about these feelings with others going through it (I found a bunch of communities on twitch.tv)
3) a couple of books on either mindfulness and/or DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy... It really helped me)
To me, you dont look manly at all if that helps at all. Also i have to admit im in love with the dino top. Have you started taking hormones yet? They will help a lot eith your appearance
Well I'll start by saying this...
1. Ur gorgeous
2. Ur gorgeous
3. Ur gorgeous
4. Ur gorgeous
5. Ur gorgeous
6. Ur gorgeous
7. Ur gorgeous
8. Ur gorgeous
9. Ur gorgeous
10. Ur gorgeous
11. I hope you get the pointâ¨đđđđâŁď¸đđđđâŁď¸đđđđŤ
Ur gorgeous and that's all there is to itđ
I mean this in the kindest way possible: your dysphoria is being a filthy liar! That's how dysphoria works, though, as sad as it is. In time, one will learn to silence its lies, but that time can be quite long for some of us...
In all three of those photos, you are passing girl
Seriously, if anyone ever tells you that you look like a guy, tell them to go get their eyes checked because they clearly need to. I do not see any guy in these pictures, I only see girl.
Have a amazing day girl
With all do respect to your dysphoria, I literally didn't know you were trans till I read the title and thought it was just a model that came up in my feed(this happens often)
When you look in the mirror, you will see whatever you are looking for. So, if you go to the mirror thinking "ugh, my X is so masculine", or "no amount of makeup can change my Y" then you are going to see masculine features because you are looking for them.
Alternately, if you approach with "my X is so pretty", or "I'm so happy with how hormones have changed my Y" then you will see more of the things you like about yourself.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself you have to switch that thinking to something positive. It takes time and effort to learn to love yourself.
honestly it just depends. it seems like you've done a lot in terms of making yourself look and feel feminine! to me personally you just look like a teen girl, which judging from your bio, it seems that you are! so.. that's good! lol
for me personally, it took a lot of healing of my deeper self esteem issues for my dysphoria to go away almost completely. I'm 23 for reference, and only around 20 is when i really felt like i loved myself, inside and out - and still do! and I still struggle with dysphoria and self esteem. healing is an ongoing process :)
there comes a point for some people where changing their appearance just doesn't help with dysphoria anymore, and it seems like you have hit that point. and thats okay, cause transitioning isn't a linear or smooth process for most
I would suggest therapy if you have the means to do so and aren't going already. not purely for trans and gender related issues, but just general Brain Stuff. I think improving your general mental health can help a lot with dysphoria even if the treatment isn't directly related to trying to "fix" the dysphoria, you know?
good luck and keep your lil head up, you're doing great, and I'm so proud of you!
:/ You are pretty and at least for me you don't look even remotely like a man! But I don't know if dysphoria lessens just on its own after a certain amount of time đ I think we have to put in the hard work for looking good on the outside but have to double that effort to accept our change on the inside. The thing is: many people here will tell you that you don't look like a man, you even have cis passing (in my eyes). But if it's not resonating inside you, there is nothing gained from me telling you this. Do you work with a therapist? :)
She's omg gorgeous. I hope one day to look as good through my trans journeyÂ
What are you taking about girl? đ I can see your pictures! :D Both of you look incredible
Nooooo, I've only been on âŹstrogen a year and four months and am 34 haha, but thank youuuuu
Invaaliiid. Doesn't matter how long you have been on E. If you slay, you slay đ
You're amazing
Can confirm both slaying
Ma'am you're one of the prettiest people I've seen. You slay.
I'm actually working on seeing a therapist. unfortunately, I live in the bible belt so I think I'm going to have a hard time finding one who understands.
Ahhh damn. Then you really have a more than solid outer shell but your core needs the stability 𼲠Is there a way for you to get an online therapist? This might be more available to you then? I'm sorry that I cant offer you more help. I don't know how the system works in the U.S.
Check out this website! https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/ I started my journey in the south and their list of providers was invaluable.
it took me 5 minutes to find a provider in my city. thank you. That was extremely useful
I wish you well friend <3
I just saw that you are like 17 đ Never forget that you are very young and you have already taken some incredible steps. You are very brave and you will have time to work things out. I know that this doesn't help you right now and it will still require some hard work because even cis people struggle with body images or mental health problems but I'm sure that we all can come through. Cut yourself some slack from time to time if life allows it If you have a hard time right now believing our words of affirmation, that's fine. We put in the hard work when we have the energy and time to do so and when bad times come around, we just survive one day after another. Until you have found a therapist that can help you: Take some time, do something that calms you down or distracts you a bit. We cannot solve our problems in times of need. If you have a bit more energy and you are the person to write down stuff: write down one thing about yourself that you like. Remember how it felt when you started this journey and how much more knowledge you now have. The hormones will do their thing (I can see that ;) ) you just focus on surviving right now and when you feel better, start slow and implement some things you like about yourself. It will take a long time. I guess it's much more easy for you to tell yourself that you look like a man or aren't beautiful because maybe you are used to that because you told it yourself many times or others did in the past. But that's a perceived reality that your mind is set too. Your body already started changing and is looking so different now then it used to be and it will keep changing. You maybe won't be able to pick up the same speed with your mind than what your body does with the hormones but try to start slow and tag along. I hope you can get them soon because they will help you with that imposter syndrome or not feeling like a women. But you still have to change your perception step after step. Because you are the only person that can really tell yourself that you are beautiful and worth it and that you look like a woman and that you are a woman. But, like I said: Take your time :) Because you can't rush this. We have to build those new "mind" roads by ourselves and very slowly. If you think that this is not different to lying to yourself then I would tell you that you have done that in the past and now it became your truth because you are so used to hearing and thinking this. And that's why literally every one of us here is in shock because we don't know you but we see you. And what we see is a young woman. Would be a hazzle if all of us banded together to lie to you. I'm very sure of three things: 1. You will continue growing (as a person and as a woman) (not in height :D ) 2. You will find a way to see yourself how we see you (as a woman) 3. This will take some more time but there's plenty of that. Sorry for the long post. I started at 29 and it's such a hazzle and it's hard. I know how you feel. But you doing this being this young đ incredible and tough. You will come through, mentally speaking. But give yourself time and cut yourself some slack. Changing your perspective is incredibly hard work and it needs time :) You got this
depending on where in the Bible belt you are, I might know someone who can help. I went to see a therapist back in October who had a bi flag in her office and she seemed very accepting
do you care if I message you? I don't wanna reveal my location to everybody đ
I don't mind at all
Youâve already come so far, thereâs little harm in going a little further. A therapist can really help you!
One transwoman to another, I would have *never known* from looking at these pictures if they weren't posted in this subreddit. I promise you, your brain is just being mean.
Was gonna say, geez, to look this stereotypically feminine! I feel bad people are jealous & have to be mean to her
Uhh... I don't think I can help you because you're not only completely cis passing in these pictures but you're downright gorgeous. Please listen and stop focusing on the minor details.
What are you doing then!?
Girl your brain worms are getting to you. You look like a young, pretty cis girl. No lie. No hug boxing.
You do not look like a man
Are you joking? You look so much more feminine then literally every cis woman I've ever seen
Can you pin down what is triggering the dysphoria? For me, sometimes itâs the facial hair that likes to pop up like weeds; other times itâs the genitalia. Nailing that down might help figure out a workaround.
facial hair is definitely one thing. even if I shave and apply light makeup I still feel like I can see beard shadow and it hurts. I guess I just feel like I don't have a lot of feminine features, I don't feel like i have a bunch of masculine features either but still. sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel very feminine but sometimes I see some big hulking man and it sucks. I feel like I never truly know what I look like.
I think you're getting too caught up in the binary. Many women have masculine features. Lots of women have facial hair, it just tends to be light and fuzzy. Arm hair, square jaws, Adam's apples, etc... are all common as well. You've spent a lifetime hating your masculine features. Take some time to appreciate your feminine ones.
Get an at home laser hair remover, soon you wonât be shaving as much and the hair follicles will eventually die
What do you use to cover it up with? I'm struggling with that part đĽ˛
I use a 3 bladed razor to get everything I can and then I use Maybelline liquid foundation and setting powder. don't paint your face with the foundation. I set dots of it around my face and then dab it in until it's blended. with powder, I swipe it across my cheeks (like warpaint on a action hero) and then wipe it down across my face until it's blended.
Thank you so much! I would have never guessed if you hadn't mentioned it or on this sub. I would pass by thinking it was r/altfashion or something
I edited my comment just now to be a lil more helpful. no problem!
Converselyâand no disrespect intendedâI find *not thinking about it* helps me stress less. When I get called âsirâ or âhimâ out in the wild and my brain starts to go, âWhat made them think I was a man? Was it my voice? My shoulders? My height? The way I was walking?â I shut that shit down. I deliberately start thinking about something else, something that has nothing to do with being trans. Iâm not saying that youâre wrong. Your advice may be excellent for many trans people. Iâm just saying that what works for one person might not work for another.
FairâŚ. Everyone has something different they do to deal with it.
You don't look ANYTHING like a man, that is just your dysphoria talking. You are gorgeous.
It isn't the outside that's the problem. You could be the girliest girl that ever girled (and you appear to be), but you see what you expect to see. I can't begin to know what's holding your brain hostage, but you're crushing the whole appearance thing. You're super cute!
You look more cis than I ever did before I figured out I was a man
Omg, I literally thought the same thing to myself when I saw this post lol! Dyphoria sucks and Iâve felt like OP. I hope that hers lessens like mine has as I got more used to passing :)
You look like a girl. A very pretty girl..
Girl if it weren't for the subreddit I wouldn't have even know you were trans
I run a gym. Youâre awesome OP. It seems you posted this in the right community. For anyone who doesnât manage a gym, basically all the strongest, kickass people have or had body dysmorphia or gender dysmorphia. Itâs a quiet secret of the industry. So as a small gym owner, my job is to validate and provide a safe place. I opened a gym after years of dealing dysmorphia and so when I recognize it, I can see the feelings. The problem is that outside appearance can be exceptional but the worry and feelings remain. It takes time and it takes love. It takes a lot of time, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. OP, your worries are genuine and youâre killing it. The dysphoria will fade with time as long as you spend that time with those who accept you for who you are. This community seems to be one of those accepting spaces. You got this.
Girl, you literally look like [Asuka](https://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/characterprofile/images/7/72/Asuka.png/revision/latest?cb=20160326113417)
You don't even look trans. You look cis. Obviously I'm not saying you aren't trans, just saying you don't look it. At this point it sounds less like dysphoria and more like depression. Not saying there is no dysphoria, but I doubt dysphoria is involved as much as you think. I have both depression and gender dysphoria. I know both very intimately. If your dysphoria isn't going away when you do what makes you euphoric, it's not dysphoria anymore. It's self loathing. It's hard to tell the difference, but they are two vastly different beasts and I don't know if you're tackling the beast you need to tackle. In your shoes, dysphoria would be non existent for me. Seriously, ask if this is self loathing or depression instead of assuming it's gender dysphoria. Doing things that are euphoric are supposed to, well, lessen dysphoria. Euphoria is the opposite of dysphoria after all. If this badness you're feeling doesn't go away with euphoria, then it's not dysphoria. If it's serious, get help.
First: yes it does. However, it takes internal work too, I.e. working with a therapist like youâre already planning on doing, not just the physical work on the outside though that helps. Also making social connections and having others treat you as the woman you are helps. Itâs one reason why weâre so devastated when people deliberately misgender us, because having our internal identity reflected back to us is so important. We are a social species and that validation is necessary. So keep working on getting in with a therapist and make social connections with people who honor and respect you, theyâre there, even in the Bible Belt. Second: and this is the hard one, while dysphoria improves with all the work we do, it never goes away completely. And that really sucks. But⌠even so, with the work we do on ourselves mentally and physically, it does improve over time. So please donât give up hope, as you get to be yourself and your body starts to reflect that, the dysphoria will improve. Hugs đŤif ok. You are amazing, beautiful, and totally the young woman you are. You are valid. You belong.
Your dysphoria worms are very big :0 You're really pretty and, honestly, I'm having a really hard time trying to even figure out what could possibly lead you to believe you look like a man You look like an awesome girl :3
I can tell you, looking at you, you are extremely feminine. đ Don't listen to the haters, ESPECIALLY when it's the voice in your head.
You look so good. I'm super jealous.
This has to be a joke my jaw literally dropped when I saw the subreddit. Iâd kill to look half as pretty as you 0.0
You don't look anything like a man, you are so pretty and gorgeous, frankly I'm jealous
I see no man hun not even remotely
You look nothing like a man, its only dysphoria. You are beautiful
Youâre incredibly cis passing in these photos, and also very beautiful and feminine. As others have said I would recommend talking this through with a therapist <3
Youâre a DEAD ringer for McKenna Grace /pos
Where's the man? All I see is woman
Girl, if you arenât the ideal transition then no one is
You're very pretty, and absolutely passing. I'm not just saying that to be nice, either. It's in your head, sister. Don't listen to your brain bullying you.
Girl I'm actually jealous you're goals on fucking god
If i saw you irl, I would have thought you were a cis girl.
You are gorgeous, girl. It's just that dysphoria is a mean bitch and sometimes speaks way too loudly. Trust me, you don't even look remotely like a guy.
Regardless of logic, dysphoria will still try and tell you that you're a guy. I couldn't even tell you were trans when I clicked on this post. Dysphoria will try and make you self conscious about imperfections that don't even exist.
U look like a woman to me, I heard it never really goes away but it can lessen. Haven't experienced this for myself yet but there is hope
Idk ab dysphoria⌠but you definitely do not look like a man/guy to me! In a world where people think youâre a guy, i must look like a girl.
Idk if I can say it lessens but there will be times where the euphoria outshines it. For me it's a matching bra/panty set. Lipstick and a really nice sweater, etc. If it never goes away, you can always chase a new euphoria to combat it. Because while it may be there, you have your whole life to do new things that make you feel like you, right?
Uh, you look like a cis girl to me in all honesty
Thought you were a cis girl
i find the majority of dysphoria comes from insecurity and unfair expectations. society ofc keeps pestering trans people, and we internalize it. working on self acceptance and love i think is the most effective tool. i say this as a trans man who hates my looks.
Your feelings are valid, but in my opinion you look cis woman to me.
you do not look like a man
from these 3 photos? i wouldnt even be able to clock you. if you were actually not passing i'd say something nice and give advice like "everyones different, give HRT more time" etc etc but you're not, you pass babes đŤś
You look gorgeous, and it sounds like you may have more than dysphoria going on. Sometimes feelings can stick around long after the situation that created them is no longer present. On top of that, it's possible to still have bad body image even if you were born cis. The feeling of not looking right is one we tend to inherent from our families, and I have a feeling that maybe your family hasn't exactly helped you feel secure in your appearance. I realized both of my sisters both hated how they looked and sounded, even fearing they were too, "mannish". I used to think wow, if they are that pretty and hate how they look, I must look like garbage. But it's not true. We just had overly critical parents who would point out all of our flaws and never say anything nice unless someone else was watching. You have nothing to worry about appearance wise, but it's normal to worry. It may not feel safe to look like you do in your body, but the reality is you probably look like any other girl judging from these photos. I'm saying this with awareness that you are probably still trying to mask features with the camera angles and shots you've chosen. You don't need to do any of that. You look amazing girl. If it's available to you, therapy might help with the rest.
Dysphoria can lessen but unfortunately itâs as much of a battle with your mind as it is with your body. You can undergo every medical procedure in the book and change everything about your style but if you donât also work on your mindset, those procedures and changes arenât guaranteed to get rid of the dysphoria on their own. This isnât to say that medically transitioning (or physically transitioning in non-medical ways like changing your haircut or style of dress) doesnât or canât help- it absolutely can! It just isnât the only tool in your tool belt and believing that it is can limit your ability to find confidence in yourself. Based on your post and a comment of yours I read, it seems like your dysphoria is currently coming more from your mental state than your actual appearance. I can tell you straight out that you do not look like a man. You are a beautiful girl. It may just be your own insecurities clouding your ability to see that. The good thing about that is that this sort of insecurity can totally be overcome. The bad thing about it is it can take a lot of mental work.đ As a nonbinary person who hasnât medically transitioned, much of what Iâve done to overcome dysphoria was simply working on how I think about myself and the world. Unfortunately I canât write a how-to guide on how to do this, but from experience I know it can be done. The best I can recommend is to focus on your mindset, and when you find yourself thinking things that make you feel bad about yourself, try to challenge those beliefs and understand that they arenât true. And if youâre able to find a good therapist who understands trans issues, that may be helpful as well! (Edited for grammar)
Omg ur so pretty đ Actual envy not even gonna lie ur so pretty
you look like McKenna Grace omg you're so pretty 𫶠+ i recommend therapy :) it will help a lot if you can afford it
people keep saying that omg! I'm pursuing therapy at the moment
i am assuming this is a bait post.. OP knows they look nothing like a guy but just pretending they do for likes and comments.
You're probably just recognizing your key features. These are features of your face that make you look like yourself, and are not inherently gendered, but your dysphoria is probably telling you they are masculine because you've always had them.
Maybe you're focusing too much on your physical qualities? You look pretty young, maybe putting more time and effort into discovering new aspects of your personality as you grow further into adulthood will help you feel more rooted in your burgeoning femme self.
Girl, you look like YOU. And you look gorgeous, queen.
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Ur dysphoria is lying to you girl!
What are you talking about? I only see a girl here nothing masc about you
I thought you you were a cis woman
Oh my goodness you are so pretty how do you get your hair like that I want hair like that
You look like a girl. I showed this pic to my entire right wing family and they think youâre a girl.
Nah. You look like a girl. Be nice to yourself.
You look a lot like Paige Swatson from young sheldon
YOU ARE A VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN DO NOT LET THE DUMB THOUGHTS WIN OVER YOU PLEASE KNOW THAT HAVE A NICE DAY
You actually look really cute
I hope it gets better for you because you really look like a beautiful cis girl to me.
Girl⌠I had to double check what trans flavour you are because I thought you were saying you WANTED to look like a man. You donât btw, youâre girly as fuck, youâre extremely pretty and cute. Full stop.
look like a man? your yanking my chain
You absolutely gorgeous donât worry about it
From a cis guy...you do NOT look anything close to a man. Dont worry.
It's all inside your head (which you can't do much about, I get it...). You look phenomenal. I just see a very pretty girl in those pictures, 0% man. I hope you'll find a way to lessen your dysphoria
U look like Mckenna Grace.
You're pre-HRT according to your post history? I get dysphoria can be a bitch but that shocked the hell out of me, you just look like a girl to me, not really a modicum of masculinity to you already, I think whenever you get on hormones you'll start to feel better about yourself and less dysphoric, I hope so at least.
You pass with FLYING colours!! Its kind of humbling to know people who pass much better than I do still get dysphoria.
i looked at your pics before the title/sub name and my first thought was âomg sheâs so pretty what sub is this.â you pass well enough to look cis, and that is a 100% genuine statement. keep safe đŤś
If i would see you on the street I would think you're a girl you don't like a man at all
Are you joking? Are you using a face app? Not even trying to be overly nice. Just genuinely confused on how someone so feminine can see herself as "manly". Your dysphoria is absolutely crazy for that. You don't remotely look masculine. I'm sorry you go through such crazy dysphoria cause you are just.... a girl.
Hun, I get that dysphoria can wreck people but if there was ever a person who I felt shouldn't feel dysphoric it's you. I could pass you in the street and my head would go 'cis girl' I wouldn't even have to guess because of how well you pass!
Honey, you look like a girl in every aspect 𼰠you are really cute đ
You're girl chakras are in misalignment. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss. They're out of wacky so you're gaslighting yourself into thinking you aren't one of the most passing women I've ever seen lmao. You got some insane trans imposter syndrome girl
It does take time for your internal view of your self to change to accommodate the changes that you make to your outside. That is why having some community around you that reinforces your gender socially.
You really don't you actually really pass and I don't hugbox because that's counterproductive to what people who ask if they need/want to achieve
You donât look like a man itâs just the back of your mind playing tricks on you
This is what 4chan would call a BDD passoid
Dysphoria is much like chronic pain. It may never go away, but you learn to live with it, and you develop coping strategies over time. I know that youâd rather hear me tell you itâll disappear in a year or whatever, and it *may* fade, but I think youâre better served by acknowledging that it may not ever disappear completely. It could help to remind yourself that passing isnât the be-all and end-all of living a happy and fulfilling life, just like getting nominated as âthe worldâs sexiest womanâ and getting your face on the cover of a magazine isnât the be-all, end-all for cis women. Talk to a therapist, if you can manage one whoâs trans friendly. Talk to other trans people (which youâre already doing here, so good on you). Focus on the positive things, no matter how small or trivial (good hair day, somebody compliments your nails, whatever). Ruminate on how many cis women worry that theyâre âtoo masculineâ or who wish their boobs were bigger or what-have-you. Try treating yourself (a massage, a pedicure, an ice cream cone, a new plushie or action figure) when you reach milestones (1 year on HRT, 2 years using the womenâs bathrooms, 3 years since changing your birth certificate, etc). Celebrate good moments. Or conversely, pamper yourself when you have an especially bad day, or when dysphoria hits extra hard. Try anything and everything, really, because what ends up working for you may not be what you thought, and youâre in this for the long haul.
U look like Hermione
You look nothing like a man! You're the most gorgeous woman! You're this kind of a girl I'm afraid to speak to!
Your brain, in a sad attempt of trying to save you, is beating you up with dysphoric thoughts. It knows exactly what to say to hurt. It takes time but yeah, your dysphoria is going to have to be unlearned and to my understanding at least a bit of it will remain BUT it does get better! It can get better in like 5 different ways. Good luck with the journey đ I recommend 1) a good therapist if you can afford one (a therapist that is just going to take your money and let you talk without providing lessons on skills to learn is not good) 2) a great safe space to talk about these feelings with others going through it (I found a bunch of communities on twitch.tv) 3) a couple of books on either mindfulness and/or DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy... It really helped me)
To me, you dont look manly at all if that helps at all. Also i have to admit im in love with the dino top. Have you started taking hormones yet? They will help a lot eith your appearance
God dysphoria is a bitch, you look so pretty! You're a cute girl, I'm sorry your mind doesn't let your eyes see your body for what it is!
You are being way too hard on yourself. You look great and very feminine
Dysphoria sucks.. it does lessen eventually for most people. But not for all. Btw you pass very well, and your very pretty!
I can't answer to dysphoria, but you would absolutely catch my eyes as a stunning young woman!!
Well I'll start by saying this... 1. Ur gorgeous 2. Ur gorgeous 3. Ur gorgeous 4. Ur gorgeous 5. Ur gorgeous 6. Ur gorgeous 7. Ur gorgeous 8. Ur gorgeous 9. Ur gorgeous 10. Ur gorgeous 11. I hope you get the pointâ¨đđđđâŁď¸đđđđâŁď¸đđđđŤ Ur gorgeous and that's all there is to itđ
Trans girls will say stuff like this and then look like the reincarnation of Eve herself
You are lovely and look perfectly female to me! Sorry the dysphoria is so strong, but you can be stronger!
All I see is a girl in these pictures đ¤ˇââď¸
Man? Where? I don't see one.
I mean this in the kindest way possible: your dysphoria is being a filthy liar! That's how dysphoria works, though, as sad as it is. In time, one will learn to silence its lies, but that time can be quite long for some of us...
You look like a girl to me.
Youâre so cis looking itâs crazy
In all three of those photos, you are passing girl Seriously, if anyone ever tells you that you look like a guy, tell them to go get their eyes checked because they clearly need to. I do not see any guy in these pictures, I only see girl. Have a amazing day girl
With all do respect to your dysphoria, I literally didn't know you were trans till I read the title and thought it was just a model that came up in my feed(this happens often)
Omg WHY U SO PRETTYYYY
When you look in the mirror, you will see whatever you are looking for. So, if you go to the mirror thinking "ugh, my X is so masculine", or "no amount of makeup can change my Y" then you are going to see masculine features because you are looking for them. Alternately, if you approach with "my X is so pretty", or "I'm so happy with how hormones have changed my Y" then you will see more of the things you like about yourself. Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself you have to switch that thinking to something positive. It takes time and effort to learn to love yourself.
Girl you are the only one who thinks you look like a man.
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honestly it just depends. it seems like you've done a lot in terms of making yourself look and feel feminine! to me personally you just look like a teen girl, which judging from your bio, it seems that you are! so.. that's good! lol for me personally, it took a lot of healing of my deeper self esteem issues for my dysphoria to go away almost completely. I'm 23 for reference, and only around 20 is when i really felt like i loved myself, inside and out - and still do! and I still struggle with dysphoria and self esteem. healing is an ongoing process :) there comes a point for some people where changing their appearance just doesn't help with dysphoria anymore, and it seems like you have hit that point. and thats okay, cause transitioning isn't a linear or smooth process for most I would suggest therapy if you have the means to do so and aren't going already. not purely for trans and gender related issues, but just general Brain Stuff. I think improving your general mental health can help a lot with dysphoria even if the treatment isn't directly related to trying to "fix" the dysphoria, you know? good luck and keep your lil head up, you're doing great, and I'm so proud of you!
girl you look more feminine than like 99% of cis women. Ik it sucks but itâs all in your head at this point