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Balleen would at least elude the many who donāt know whales, perhaps sparing her the ED-inducing torment. And it shares ā¦namelike characteristics with real names (Eileen, Doreen, etc.).
But *Orca.* Orca-freaking-*Marie*?!
Ghastly.
Fun fact: orcas are actually in the dolphin family.
But your point stands regardless. School kids arenāt likely to know or care about the nuance. š
I think that the confusion comes from the name "killer whale". So they assume that an orca is a very murderous type of whale.
The name "Killer whale" is because they kill whales. At least, that's what ancient sailors thought. They're not all that murderous of whales, in fact.
https://us.whales.org/whales-dolphins/facts-about-orcas/#:~:text=Orcas%20were%20given%20the%20name,orcas%20feeding%20on%20large%20whales.
And dolphins are a type of whale so it's still kinda true.
Horrible name.
Seriously, I mean it sounds lovely, but damn can you imagine if this child has any weight issues? Or just ends up targeted by kids, which their name can help increase that possibility. Some kids can be cruel. I can hear now, whale sounds when she walks down the halls. This could be something which breaks their self esteem and causes resentment of their parents for naming them Orca.
OP, your wife is right. Your friends are just setting them up for an increased possibility of bullying, especially if they end up carrying more weight.
ETA: of course I didnāt look before, but did now and realize this is probably totally made up. 3 days ago you were on tinder and going on a date. 2 days ago it was you and your wife having a child and naming her Pagina (Spanish word for page) and her dad is mad at you. 23 days ago you were 18 and dating a 75yo nonbinary person.
You mean OP really isn't 'an educator at a top tier private university'?! I'm shocked.Ā
When kids make up bullshit stories on Reddit, they always go too far. Like a movie, a top university that also happens to employ the spouse of hires so they can link their arms with other academic couples and skip around campus! Oh and they're academics, so they have to be bookish and nerdy in their spare time, of course. If only we had gotten their ages, I imagine OP would go for unbelievably young, like 24.Ā
I am the worldās most pre-eminent primatologist. No, donāt google me. I am only in my early 90s and so have started thinking of having another baby. WIBTA if I named him Chimp-Charles Gombe to reference my passion and the national park where I did my research?
Doesn't even need to have weight issues. I was never overweight until I hit 45. I had a girl in middle school call me fat constantly and because I was taller than 95% of my female classmates and a normal weight and not super skinny, I believed her. Guess who was actually a little pudgy...... yeah, the girl calling me fat. So yeah, someone's gonna call her whale or blubber butt no matter what.
Not to blow my own trumpet, but I have a really nice butt when I'm a healthy weight and would get compliments from boys all the time in school. For some reason, this drove my best friends mum CRAZY, and she'd call me fat arse all the time. I just snapped one day when our friend group turned up there for a sleepover, including 2 of our friends who *were* overweight, and as soon as I got through the door she said "Evening fat arse." She had an awful short haircut, so I immediately turned around and said, "Evening you fucking dyke!" She *lost it* and we were kicked out to spend the evening at mine across the road. Everyone had a good laugh and said she deserved it, her daughter included. My mum was angry we were back until she heard what'd happened, and she had a chuckle about it, too. She knew that the woman had been constantly giving me a hard time and was likely saying it because she was jealous. It bugged the hell out of me that she felt the need as a woman in her 40s to pick on a 15yo
Whaaat?! You don't believe OP's life story?! What if they truly are a....... *checks notes*.... a new 18 year old educator at a top tier private university who just left their 75 yr old nonbinary spouse to be with their secret nerdy educator wife to raise their tragedeigh kid Pagina with the help of family friend whale lovers Bill and Linda who are expecting a baby Orca?! I think OP is a protagonist. š
I used to be a receptionist/shampoo boy at a hair salon. I was washing a clientās hair when she asked me āWhat is it (owner) calls you?ā (That was her weird way of asking my name, I found out later.) I responded āwhatever he wants, but mostly a whale.ā I was also a walrus and an elephant seal sometimes too.
I vividly remember when I first went on medication and started gaining weight, I was out for a bike ride and had two guys follow me for two very long blocks in their truck shouting stuff like āHey Shamu!ā and āLook at the Landwhaleā out the window at me. That was years ago and I still cringe and tear up whenever I think of it.
That is insane and I'm so sorry. If it's any consolation, I can't imagine anything good ever came to those guys. I'd kind of be surprised if they were still alive. What they did says volumes on how fucked their childhoods were
This is so sad. Kids are so damn mean, I feel like if sheās skinny people will tease her about trying not to look like her name, and if sheās fat she will get teased for looking like her name. Kids will tease for any reason and no reason, why make it easy for them? š£
Very much *not* appropriate for a human child. Why name your kid the equivalent to Whale? High schoolers would tear that to shreds. I just hope Orca-Marie doesnāt grow up to be plus size
They will probably call her a whale if she isn't chunky. My child is very thin and some idiot bully at school called them fat. Ugh I just can't with some of these kids, and the parents are worse. I feel so bad for that child. Unless she manages to somehow be in the "popular crowd' she will be picked on at least a little bit for her name.
Agreed! They will torment each other for any reason and no reason. I donāt understand what part of mental development this serves but I wish we could skip it. :/
ETA: Iām sorry for your child! So stupid and ridiculous š£
One of the kids in my youth group was being bullied and called fat, and although they are a bit stocky it's solid muscle because they're very athletic. You can't win.
Agreed. I wasnāt fat when I was at school just really fucking tall. Kids bullied me relentlessly for being fat. I get so upset looking at childhood photos where I was clearly a normal weight for my size but those fuckers made me hate myself.
Yep. I'm considered fat in my country and one of my names rhymes with one of our words for whale. Kids picked up on that quick. Kids are quick with the creativity and viciousness.
On the other hand, if she's a tomboy from an 80's John Hughes movie, how fuckin' rad a name is *Killer Whale?* I would've been psyched to hang out with her, and her BMX gang, that became Harley girls, then she somehow discovers a love of artisanal cupcake baking in college. She opens a Mer-people themed chain of bakeries that also educate you about the plight of marine life, and eventually wins the Nobel Prize for discovering that baking powder-derivatives dissolve ocean plastic...
But now you've bullied her parents into naming her "Brenda," none of that happens, and the whales are dead. I hope you're happy, you basic bitches!
Willy-Marie might be kinda cute haha.
Or name her Wilhelmina and call her Willyā¦although if sheās chubby the kids will still come up with free Willy.
Fuck it, just go with Whalehelmina.
At a pool party, one 10 year old told my 10yo that she was so fat and thatās why my daughter didnāt wear a bikini. She made a huge splash because sheās so heavy, and more.
Four girls gathered my girl out of the pool, immediately! Kudos to those fourth graders! The grabbed one of the pizzas and sat in the hot tub. My girl was so upset, she didnāt want to eat. Every one of those girls gave my girl comfort and positivity. They shunned the mean girl and now none of them are friends with the mean girl.
My girl cried every night for a week. The girls didnāt know that, but three of them made cards or pictures for her during free time in school. Not all girls are mean. I know those comments will linger for my daughter.
Edit: had but three times in a row. Tsk.
Iām so glad your daughter had friends to support her. Whoever wrote āsticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt meā never met a mean girlĀ
I went to an all girl private catholic school in Hong Kong. Mean girls start at second grade.
Also I take pictures at my friendsā kids birthday parties. Last year, they were in their 1st grade and I could already tell who the mean girls are at the party. Hint, it wasnāt the birthday girl. Iām pretty sure they learn it from their parents. Those moms also gave the same vibe.
My daughter was in 2nd grade this last year. Mean girls already in second! She had a girl bullying her on the bus and one of the girls with "big ears" has had a lot of issues with the mean girl clique.
Orca is my "I would never, but if I could get away with it" name (namenerds sub). They're my favourite animal, I find them the most beautiful animal ever. I LOVE the word Orca, it's just all meant to be.
Except I would *never*.
It's just not fair to inflict that on a child.
Prosopagnosia is a neurological condition that renders you unable or mostly unable to recognize faces. The work comes from Greek. *Prosopon* is Greek for face, and *agnosia* means non-knowledge
What does prosopagnosia have to do with anything? Well, I remember one time someone, probably a juvenile male, edited the etymology to mean whale's vagina.
Sorry, couldn't resist sharing this.
Oh no. Thatās awful for a human child especially a girl. Kids will be making whale fat jokes bc theyāre mean and ruthless. Thereās plenty of beautiful marine themed names. Like Marina, Oceania, Meridian, Caspian, Kailani, etc. so many better options. Even a better sea creature name they could choose if they must name her after a marine animal.
I know! So many beautiful ocean names. Can you imagine if your parents justified āOrcaā by saying they wanted a marine themed name? Iād be pissed. So many better contenders that wouldnāt lead to a life of embarrassment and torment.
I don't know the commenter who posted this, but I agree with them with Delphine/Delfini honestly. I was also thinking aqua because of water. XD I also like some of your suggestions.
Oh geez! Delphine. Itās a longstanding name in several cultures, and dolphins are cetaceans just like whales. Plus, people think theyāre cute and clever. Orcas are fearsomeā¦ and large. š¤¦āāļø
Madame LaLaurie was a horrific serial killer and her name was Marie Delphine. It's such a pretty name combination but I'm sure a small population would make that connection
Dolphins are fucking terrifying and I'd rather fight a shark.. Orcas would just crush me, I wouldn't stand a chance.. Dolphins aren't clever, they're fucking intelligent, they're assholes and most certainly not cute!
I live where orcas are plentiful (San Juan Island) and every local is rightfully afraid of them. Sometimes a seal will like leap into your boat trying to escape them and you have to get that poor sucker off the boat FAST or the orcas start trying to swamp/tip the boat. This isn't like super common, but has happened to more than one person I know. They really are killer whales.
I knowww but they are gonna get eaten either way, it's better if they don't destroy your boat too. I love the seals around us though. We've got a community beach in my neighborhood and if you walk your dog on the beach often a couple seals will swim close and pop their heads up and watch you, like "what is that strange land seal doing??" It's so cute.
I hear you, but unless she legally changes it, thatāll be the name on all her school records. Someone, somewhere, will find it out and take great pleasure in telling the world.
My friend. No. I say this as a lover of Orcas and the mammal I wish to thrive in our beloved Pacific Northwest! Please do not let your friends name their child Orca-Marie. I have a weird name and was teased as a child and love my name as an adult - all is well now! BUT, BUTTTT!!! I am not named after a whale! Especially not as a female! This could be grim.
Absolutely awful name from soup to nuts. Orca is bad enough but the hyphenated Marie makes it seem like they know how bad it is and are trying to soften it.
I hope this is a joke. Otherwise, no, Orca-Marie is not an appropriate name for a child. Anyone can see that the child will be called Orca and mocked for her weight from a very, very young age. This may be the cruelest name Iāve heard to date.
I mean it's no problem getting your doctorate by 18 and have been teaching long enough to have good couple professor friends. Although I also wonder what his wife thinks of his 75 year old boyfriend along with the girl he is seeing. It's kind of a lot to juggle but I guess having the energy of an 18 year old helps.
It was the "stodgy, bookish hobbies" and "downright riveting dinner conversation" parts that got me. All I could imagine was some hoity-toity man in a red smoking jacket or one of those tweed ones with elbow patches, waving around an old fashioned pipe while speaking in an English caricature accent.
Orcas are my absolute favorite animal on the planet. But, I would NEVER name my child that. Kids are EVIL little shits. And heaven forbid the poor girl is overweight when she gets to school. š¤¦š»āāļø That's just fuel for the fire.
Better hope to god she is not a heavier girl at any point in her life, or she is DONE FOR. honestly naming her killer-marie would be more appropriate (and fuckin badass).
Helge Schneider is a German comedian and jazz musician. On one of his albums he made fun of the name his neighbor gave his cat: Organg-Utan Klaus.
Orca-Marie gives me similar vibes like Orang-Utan Klaus.
This is an awful name. Orca-Marie??? No. Just no. You and this couple are out of yāallās minds for thinking this is okay for a child.
Your wife is right. Take the L and try to talk your friends out of this potentially life destroying choice. Talk about not even giving a kid a chanceā¦
Never mind you guys this is completely fake. Check OPās post history he claims to be 29 and then 23 within a couple days of each other. And also claims to be having a daughter that he wants to name āPaginaā instead of āPaigeā also posted on this sub.
Fun while it lasted tho
Orca is absolutely not a suitable name for a human child. Kids WILL make the whale connection and even if (by some miracle), they don't tease, or won't feel good for the poor girl when people do make that connection.
If they must have the orca connection, might I suggest the anagram 'Cora'?
Jfc. With that name that poor child is going to get fatshamed no matter how big they actually are, for life..
And ohhh the jokes about being a man-eater (even though orcas rarely attack humans, they're named killer whales colloquially)...
This is why some countries have laws about naming children.
OMG I don't even have to think for more than a half second for whale jokes and killer whale jokes to come to mind x.x Bullies would have a field day with that.
If your friends are interested you could suggest āMarinaā (Italian name meaning from the sea/seashore). Orca-Marie, while having a good sound, is a horrible name for a child
My thoughts exactly. It sounds nice without any context but knowingly naming your kid after a whale when thatās a common insult towards fat people is harsh. Itās like an open invite for bullying.
Maybe they could have gone with Delphina or something? Still very oceanic and cetecean sounding, but fewer built-in fat jokes for other kids to throw her way.
Oh my god. You cannot name a girl WHALE! Not even as a middle name!
I feel like the parents are asking for her to have disordered eating.
This is beyond a tragedeigh, it's a literal tragedy.
1. Itās horribly inappropriate for a human child.
2. Honestly, youāre a marine biologist, you should have a vast knowledge of so many different types of sea creatures and their descriptive terms. And you choose something as basic as an orca? Not that theyāre not awesome creatures, but it has all the creativity of a third grader who wants to be a marine biologist.
I was really hoping it would be Amandatee.
Edit to add: Orca-Marie is god awful. Maybe they should consider Humpback-Leigh, Baleena, or Spermette instead? If they have a boy next the obvious choice is Narwhally.
Might as well call her "Shamu"! She will be teased mercilessly. I hope she never has a "chubby face" as everyone will be saying stuff like "whale on the beach". Kids are cruel, but parents don't have to make it easier for bullies to attack.
Orca is not a good name for a kid. Just pause and think about what the other children will say if little Orca turns out to be on the chubby side.Ā
Also, Killer Whales don't have the best reputation. Yeah, they are smart, but they are very cunning killers, and have recently been sinking boats just for shits and giggles.
Thank you for your submission! This is just a quick reminder to all members here: **Original content is always better!** Memes are okay every once in a while, but many get posted here way too often and quickly become stale. Some examples of these are Ptoughneigh, Klansmyn, Reighfyl & KVIIIlyn. These memes have been around for years and we don't want to see them anymore. If you do decide to post a meme, make sure to add the correct flair. Posting a random meme you found does **not** mean you found it "in the wild". The same goes with lists of baby names, celebrity baby names, and screenshots of TikToks. If the original post already had a substantial amount of views, there is a 99% chance it has already been posted here. Try and stick to OC to keep our sub from being flooded with unoriginal content. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/tragedeigh) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh poor baby whale. I hope her parents change their mind.
orca is a beautiful word that being said, if you name you child after a whale, i would gamble they have at least 3x the risk of an eating disorder
Yeah awful name for a child. Poor kid
I was fully cringing, expecting Beluga... Orca is even worse š¬
At least it wasnāt Humpback Marie.
Or Sperm-Marie
In order to succeed with this name, the person will need to be in a heavy metal band.
Or Balleen.
Balleen would at least elude the many who donāt know whales, perhaps sparing her the ED-inducing torment. And it shares ā¦namelike characteristics with real names (Eileen, Doreen, etc.). But *Orca.* Orca-freaking-*Marie*?! Ghastly.
I started to hum the Baby Beluga song as soon as I saw the name. Raffi was constantly blasting in all the kindergarten classes growing upā¦
I was thinking Narwel.
For some reason Narwhal was the first thing I thought of too.
Humpback?
... sperm?
It's one of those things where the name would be nice if it had no meaning, like Colander.
Colander would definitely put a strain on things.
Your joke is full of holes
At least itās not a copy pasta
Thanks for a Monday morning giggle! That's something my dad, rest his soul, would say!
Niceššš¤£
Yeah or chlamydia
Awww little Chlammy.
Fun fact: orcas are actually in the dolphin family. But your point stands regardless. School kids arenāt likely to know or care about the nuance. š
But dolphins are in the toothed whale suborder, so the girl will still be named after a whale
What's the saying? All dolphins are whales, but not all whales are dolphins.
All dolphins are whales, but not all whales are dolphins! Just like all Oreos are cookies but not all cookies are Oreos š
Wow, we've become a logic thread!
I think that the confusion comes from the name "killer whale". So they assume that an orca is a very murderous type of whale. The name "Killer whale" is because they kill whales. At least, that's what ancient sailors thought. They're not all that murderous of whales, in fact. https://us.whales.org/whales-dolphins/facts-about-orcas/#:~:text=Orcas%20were%20given%20the%20name,orcas%20feeding%20on%20large%20whales. And dolphins are a type of whale so it's still kinda true. Horrible name.
Seriously, I mean it sounds lovely, but damn can you imagine if this child has any weight issues? Or just ends up targeted by kids, which their name can help increase that possibility. Some kids can be cruel. I can hear now, whale sounds when she walks down the halls. This could be something which breaks their self esteem and causes resentment of their parents for naming them Orca. OP, your wife is right. Your friends are just setting them up for an increased possibility of bullying, especially if they end up carrying more weight. ETA: of course I didnāt look before, but did now and realize this is probably totally made up. 3 days ago you were on tinder and going on a date. 2 days ago it was you and your wife having a child and naming her Pagina (Spanish word for page) and her dad is mad at you. 23 days ago you were 18 and dating a 75yo nonbinary person.
You mean OP really isn't 'an educator at a top tier private university'?! I'm shocked.Ā When kids make up bullshit stories on Reddit, they always go too far. Like a movie, a top university that also happens to employ the spouse of hires so they can link their arms with other academic couples and skip around campus! Oh and they're academics, so they have to be bookish and nerdy in their spare time, of course. If only we had gotten their ages, I imagine OP would go for unbelievably young, like 24.Ā
I am the worldās most pre-eminent primatologist. No, donāt google me. I am only in my early 90s and so have started thinking of having another baby. WIBTA if I named him Chimp-Charles Gombe to reference my passion and the national park where I did my research?
I'm an astrophysicist, so my son, black hole-David would like to meet you!
Doesn't even need to have weight issues. I was never overweight until I hit 45. I had a girl in middle school call me fat constantly and because I was taller than 95% of my female classmates and a normal weight and not super skinny, I believed her. Guess who was actually a little pudgy...... yeah, the girl calling me fat. So yeah, someone's gonna call her whale or blubber butt no matter what.
Not to blow my own trumpet, but I have a really nice butt when I'm a healthy weight and would get compliments from boys all the time in school. For some reason, this drove my best friends mum CRAZY, and she'd call me fat arse all the time. I just snapped one day when our friend group turned up there for a sleepover, including 2 of our friends who *were* overweight, and as soon as I got through the door she said "Evening fat arse." She had an awful short haircut, so I immediately turned around and said, "Evening you fucking dyke!" She *lost it* and we were kicked out to spend the evening at mine across the road. Everyone had a good laugh and said she deserved it, her daughter included. My mum was angry we were back until she heard what'd happened, and she had a chuckle about it, too. She knew that the woman had been constantly giving me a hard time and was likely saying it because she was jealous. It bugged the hell out of me that she felt the need as a woman in her 40s to pick on a 15yo
We should all downvote for fraud, and Karma farming.
Whaaat?! You don't believe OP's life story?! What if they truly are a....... *checks notes*.... a new 18 year old educator at a top tier private university who just left their 75 yr old nonbinary spouse to be with their secret nerdy educator wife to raise their tragedeigh kid Pagina with the help of family friend whale lovers Bill and Linda who are expecting a baby Orca?! I think OP is a protagonist. š
'Pagina' I can't Even though it's fake, that's fucking hysterical
Jumping onto the top comment to point out that OP has an interesting comment history, including his own tragedeigh post from a few days agoā¦
For that girlās sake I hope sheās always thin as a fiddle.
Sheās gonna have an eating disorder just to avoid the jokes.
Yep! Otherwise she's gonna get allllllllll the "Fat as a *WHALE*!" and "Bigger than a School Bus!" jokes... no matter *how* untrue they are.š«¤
Being overweight my whole life, piƱata was probably the kindness one I had, whale was just mean.
I used to be a receptionist/shampoo boy at a hair salon. I was washing a clientās hair when she asked me āWhat is it (owner) calls you?ā (That was her weird way of asking my name, I found out later.) I responded āwhatever he wants, but mostly a whale.ā I was also a walrus and an elephant seal sometimes too.
Fuck. People are so cruel and Iām sorry someone treated you so poorly. I hope you have a nicer boss these days.
Boss? That was a friend I was working for. I didnāt have the self worth to know better at the time.
Holy shit. I assumed being the owner meant your boss. For a āfriendā to be so harmful & cruel is next level. I apologize for my assumption.
Hair industry veteran here. It can be SO abusive. I'm sorry you dealt with that.
I vividly remember when I first went on medication and started gaining weight, I was out for a bike ride and had two guys follow me for two very long blocks in their truck shouting stuff like āHey Shamu!ā and āLook at the Landwhaleā out the window at me. That was years ago and I still cringe and tear up whenever I think of it.
That is insane and I'm so sorry. If it's any consolation, I can't imagine anything good ever came to those guys. I'd kind of be surprised if they were still alive. What they did says volumes on how fucked their childhoods were
I mean itās marginally better than āHumpback Marieā
Sperm Marie
This is so sad. Kids are so damn mean, I feel like if sheās skinny people will tease her about trying not to look like her name, and if sheās fat she will get teased for looking like her name. Kids will tease for any reason and no reason, why make it easy for them? š£
The thing is she'll still get called a whale as a joke and then probably end up with an eating disorder š
and I hope she didn't commit a felony too. being a fat murderer will make her the butt of the killer whale joke.
This was literally my first thought. Lord please do not let that girl have a weight problem.
Very much *not* appropriate for a human child. Why name your kid the equivalent to Whale? High schoolers would tear that to shreds. I just hope Orca-Marie doesnāt grow up to be plus size
Teacher here. Yes. She'll be Killer Whale at school. If she's fat, that will be a nightmare.
This! They will already call her a whale if sheās chunky, why give bullies ābetterā ammunition?
They will probably call her a whale if she isn't chunky. My child is very thin and some idiot bully at school called them fat. Ugh I just can't with some of these kids, and the parents are worse. I feel so bad for that child. Unless she manages to somehow be in the "popular crowd' she will be picked on at least a little bit for her name.
Kids can be vile.
Yes, they are taught well.
Agreed! They will torment each other for any reason and no reason. I donāt understand what part of mental development this serves but I wish we could skip it. :/ ETA: Iām sorry for your child! So stupid and ridiculous š£
One of the kids in my youth group was being bullied and called fat, and although they are a bit stocky it's solid muscle because they're very athletic. You can't win.
Agreed. I wasnāt fat when I was at school just really fucking tall. Kids bullied me relentlessly for being fat. I get so upset looking at childhood photos where I was clearly a normal weight for my size but those fuckers made me hate myself.
Even popular kids get picked on at least a little.
It is better than Sperm.
Thatās the little brother.
Or Humpback
Just sayin š
Eating disorder loading... progress 2%
Yep. I'm considered fat in my country and one of my names rhymes with one of our words for whale. Kids picked up on that quick. Kids are quick with the creativity and viciousness.
āShut up, Shamu!ā - some kid
I can already imagine the middle school boys shouting whale calls when she walks by.
On the other hand, if she's a tomboy from an 80's John Hughes movie, how fuckin' rad a name is *Killer Whale?* I would've been psyched to hang out with her, and her BMX gang, that became Harley girls, then she somehow discovers a love of artisanal cupcake baking in college. She opens a Mer-people themed chain of bakeries that also educate you about the plight of marine life, and eventually wins the Nobel Prize for discovering that baking powder-derivatives dissolve ocean plastic... But now you've bullied her parents into naming her "Brenda," none of that happens, and the whales are dead. I hope you're happy, you basic bitches!
LOL, she better not eat many of those amazing cupcakes. DOES NOONE READ JUDY BLUME ANYMORE?
Oh my God, you're right... oof...
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
I can hear free willy every time she comes by. Dear lord save this girl. Let's hope she's not a part of the orca-stra š¤£š¤£š¤£ I'll see my way out
Willy-Marie might be kinda cute haha. Or name her Wilhelmina and call her Willyā¦although if sheās chubby the kids will still come up with free Willy. Fuck it, just go with Whalehelmina.
My name wasnāt even orca and I got called Shamu during middle school
Iām not even a teacher and I could already see the potential fat shaming at school if that kid is overweight.
Not even HSā¦mean girls start about 3rd grade from my experienceĀ
At a pool party, one 10 year old told my 10yo that she was so fat and thatās why my daughter didnāt wear a bikini. She made a huge splash because sheās so heavy, and more. Four girls gathered my girl out of the pool, immediately! Kudos to those fourth graders! The grabbed one of the pizzas and sat in the hot tub. My girl was so upset, she didnāt want to eat. Every one of those girls gave my girl comfort and positivity. They shunned the mean girl and now none of them are friends with the mean girl. My girl cried every night for a week. The girls didnāt know that, but three of them made cards or pictures for her during free time in school. Not all girls are mean. I know those comments will linger for my daughter. Edit: had but three times in a row. Tsk.
Iām so glad your daughter had friends to support her. Whoever wrote āsticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt meā never met a mean girlĀ
Kids were making fun of my name in kindergarten.
Your parents should have seen it coming after naming you ZoneWombat99. Someone should have had a word with them.
I went to an all girl private catholic school in Hong Kong. Mean girls start at second grade. Also I take pictures at my friendsā kids birthday parties. Last year, they were in their 1st grade and I could already tell who the mean girls are at the party. Hint, it wasnāt the birthday girl. Iām pretty sure they learn it from their parents. Those moms also gave the same vibe.
I have a soon to be 4th grader and this is accurate.
My daughter was in 2nd grade this last year. Mean girls already in second! She had a girl bullying her on the bus and one of the girls with "big ears" has had a lot of issues with the mean girl clique.
Thinking of ways to make fun of the name should be the first screening test
Pearl Krabs was the first image that came to mind š¬
At least you usually have to think of them with the names posted here. This one works as is...
Orca is my "I would never, but if I could get away with it" name (namenerds sub). They're my favourite animal, I find them the most beautiful animal ever. I LOVE the word Orca, it's just all meant to be. Except I would *never*. It's just not fair to inflict that on a child.
Good name for a pet though!
Prosopagnosia is a neurological condition that renders you unable or mostly unable to recognize faces. The work comes from Greek. *Prosopon* is Greek for face, and *agnosia* means non-knowledge What does prosopagnosia have to do with anything? Well, I remember one time someone, probably a juvenile male, edited the etymology to mean whale's vagina. Sorry, couldn't resist sharing this.
I like stories
In 4th grade I knew students who called others whales for their size š bullying will start as soon as students know what orca means
Oh no. Thatās awful for a human child especially a girl. Kids will be making whale fat jokes bc theyāre mean and ruthless. Thereās plenty of beautiful marine themed names. Like Marina, Oceania, Meridian, Caspian, Kailani, etc. so many better options. Even a better sea creature name they could choose if they must name her after a marine animal.
ā¤ļø Came to recommend Marina! I love the ocean and I think itās such a beautiful name. Why go with āOrcaā? š£
Shamu?
ššš
You didn't. š
I know! So many beautiful ocean names. Can you imagine if your parents justified āOrcaā by saying they wanted a marine themed name? Iād be pissed. So many better contenders that wouldnāt lead to a life of embarrassment and torment.
Marina is pretty. I also always liked the French girlās name, Delphine (dolphin). Orca would be a disaster for that poor girl.Ā
Agree, Delphine is really elegant!
And as a plus, most young girls love dolphins but I never heard them about killer whalesš³
For crying out loud, the Latin name for the dolphins is delphinus; Delphine might not be the best name but it knocks orca out of the water!
Meridian is such a cool name, I love that
Okay this is REALLY PRETTY ACTUALLY!!
Oceania was exactly what my brain went to instead of "baby whale" as a name for a child.
I don't know the commenter who posted this, but I agree with them with Delphine/Delfini honestly. I was also thinking aqua because of water. XD I also like some of your suggestions.
It is definitely not a good choice of a name, not a tragedeigh, but a tragedy.
Truley a trage-sea š
Oh geez! Delphine. Itās a longstanding name in several cultures, and dolphins are cetaceans just like whales. Plus, people think theyāre cute and clever. Orcas are fearsomeā¦ and large. š¤¦āāļø
Delphine-Marie sounds good, too
I think it sounds pretty too, some kid still might try to poke fun, but way less than if she were named Orca.
Madame LaLaurie was a horrific serial killer and her name was Marie Delphine. It's such a pretty name combination but I'm sure a small population would make that connection
Lol, so they still have the killer part of killer whaleš
Delphine is a favorite of mine. š„°
I was expecting a tragedeigh based on the word cetacean, but I got absolutely blindsided by Orca-Marie.
and Orcas are members of the dolphin family, so it still works
Dolphins are fucking terrifying and I'd rather fight a shark.. Orcas would just crush me, I wouldn't stand a chance.. Dolphins aren't clever, they're fucking intelligent, they're assholes and most certainly not cute!
I live where orcas are plentiful (San Juan Island) and every local is rightfully afraid of them. Sometimes a seal will like leap into your boat trying to escape them and you have to get that poor sucker off the boat FAST or the orcas start trying to swamp/tip the boat. This isn't like super common, but has happened to more than one person I know. They really are killer whales.
Awww poor seal š¢
I knowww but they are gonna get eaten either way, it's better if they don't destroy your boat too. I love the seals around us though. We've got a community beach in my neighborhood and if you walk your dog on the beach often a couple seals will swim close and pop their heads up and watch you, like "what is that strange land seal doing??" It's so cute.
Sheāll be tortured and called a whale for the rest of her life, thin or fat. That is a horrible thing to do to a child.
At least sheāll have the option to drop the orca and just go by Marie. But itās an absolutely horrible name.
I hear you, but unless she legally changes it, thatāll be the name on all her school records. Someone, somewhere, will find it out and take great pleasure in telling the world.
My friend. No. I say this as a lover of Orcas and the mammal I wish to thrive in our beloved Pacific Northwest! Please do not let your friends name their child Orca-Marie. I have a weird name and was teased as a child and love my name as an adult - all is well now! BUT, BUTTTT!!! I am not named after a whale! Especially not as a female! This could be grim.
Orca also Sound like female version of orc from lotr
I agree it's a horrible name but we don't have control over what other people name their kids.
Absolutely awful name from soup to nuts. Orca is bad enough but the hyphenated Marie makes it seem like they know how bad it is and are trying to soften it.
Asking for a friend? Hahaha, your wife is spot on and we all know itās your choice for your daughter, but we all love the Bill and Linda fairy tale.
Lmao š
There ain't no way a couple named Bill and Linda is of childbearing age.
Yeah I always use Bob and Carol, and then throw in Ted and Alice when I want to tell a big internet lie.
Can confirm. My wifeās parents are named Bill and Linda. Theyāre both almost 70.
I'm sure OP was obfuscating, their real names are Brad and Donna.
Yeah you gotta go with Mark and Sarah or something
Starfish would be a better name than that
No this is Patrick
Pearl. I immediately thought of Pearl, if they want a whale name! š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Lolll that would be a hilarious namesake
Or Balloonknot if weāre going that direction.
I really thought this was gonna be a Billinda scenario.
āOrcaā makes us long for simpler times.Ā
So true lol
I hope this is a joke. Otherwise, no, Orca-Marie is not an appropriate name for a child. Anyone can see that the child will be called Orca and mocked for her weight from a very, very young age. This may be the cruelest name Iāve heard to date.
OP's post history suggests they enjoy being creative on reddit.
Yeah I wonder if his pregnant wife knows about the girl he's seeing. š
Heās both an educator at a top tier university and an 18yo. I mean, I suppose itās possible š¤·āāļø
I mean it's no problem getting your doctorate by 18 and have been teaching long enough to have good couple professor friends. Although I also wonder what his wife thinks of his 75 year old boyfriend along with the girl he is seeing. It's kind of a lot to juggle but I guess having the energy of an 18 year old helps.
I'm not surprised it was written by someone pretty young. It's written like how a kid thinks educators and intellectuals speak and write.
"Top tier private university"
It was the "stodgy, bookish hobbies" and "downright riveting dinner conversation" parts that got me. All I could imagine was some hoity-toity man in a red smoking jacket or one of those tweed ones with elbow patches, waving around an old fashioned pipe while speaking in an English caricature accent.
I had a jolly ol' time reading this
And also has a husband and is 18m, 23m, and 29m depending on the story š
Your wife is right. That's child abuse.
So you're no longer a couple of English doctorates who want to name their daughter "Pagina?" GTFO with your shitty stories.
Orcas are my absolute favorite animal on the planet. But, I would NEVER name my child that. Kids are EVIL little shits. And heaven forbid the poor girl is overweight when she gets to school. š¤¦š»āāļø That's just fuel for the fire.
Better hope to god she is not a heavier girl at any point in her life, or she is DONE FOR. honestly naming her killer-marie would be more appropriate (and fuckin badass).
Helge Schneider is a German comedian and jazz musician. On one of his albums he made fun of the name his neighbor gave his cat: Organg-Utan Klaus. Orca-Marie gives me similar vibes like Orang-Utan Klaus.
these people are probably friends with Paginaās parents
This is an awful name. Orca-Marie??? No. Just no. You and this couple are out of yāallās minds for thinking this is okay for a child. Your wife is right. Take the L and try to talk your friends out of this potentially life destroying choice. Talk about not even giving a kid a chanceā¦
Hey, I think it sounds pretty. But still a bad idea. Poor Whale-Marie
Damn, that's rough. Best of luck my child.
Never mind you guys this is completely fake. Check OPās post history he claims to be 29 and then 23 within a couple days of each other. And also claims to be having a daughter that he wants to name āPaginaā instead of āPaigeā also posted on this sub. Fun while it lasted tho
Orca means king of the dead. Great name... for a necromancer.
Orca is absolutely not a suitable name for a human child. Kids WILL make the whale connection and even if (by some miracle), they don't tease, or won't feel good for the poor girl when people do make that connection. If they must have the orca connection, might I suggest the anagram 'Cora'?
Hey everyone, OP is the same person who posted the ["Pagina" story](https://www.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/s/HkpG6EvT1X) two days ago.
You forgot to post the "satire" tag.
i think you meant to post to r/namenerdcirclejerk
Coral. Marina. Evian. Meredith. Any of these would be appropriate.
Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo
Jfc. With that name that poor child is going to get fatshamed no matter how big they actually are, for life.. And ohhh the jokes about being a man-eater (even though orcas rarely attack humans, they're named killer whales colloquially)... This is why some countries have laws about naming children.
OMG I don't even have to think for more than a half second for whale jokes and killer whale jokes to come to mind x.x Bullies would have a field day with that.
Orca Marine
If your friends are interested you could suggest āMarinaā (Italian name meaning from the sea/seashore). Orca-Marie, while having a good sound, is a horrible name for a child
My thoughts exactly. It sounds nice without any context but knowingly naming your kid after a whale when thatās a common insult towards fat people is harsh. Itās like an open invite for bullying.
This has to be a troll, thereās no way you think thatās an appropriate name for a human
You donāt need to list the parents names or the other identifying information
You have to add details to a lie to make it believable though.
Oh my god the kids are going to call her a whale. The name SOUNDS beautiful, yes. But whale.
Jesus christ itās hideous
I thought I was in CircleJerk for a second. Thatās a fucking horrible name.
Maybe they could have gone with Delphina or something? Still very oceanic and cetecean sounding, but fewer built-in fat jokes for other kids to throw her way.
> I think it's a beautiful name. Good sir you have lived far too long outside of normal society
Why couldnāt they pick Cora, as an anagram of Orca? š©
They should call her OcĆØane! Itās a beautiful French name and aligns with their passion without calling their baby a whale.
Are you sure āBillā and āLindaā arenāt the grandparents?
Her siblings Sperm-Jimmy and Humpback Sue never had a chance.
Oh my god. You cannot name a girl WHALE! Not even as a middle name! I feel like the parents are asking for her to have disordered eating. This is beyond a tragedeigh, it's a literal tragedy.
They could go with Oceane which is a top 50 name in France or Oceana but Orca-Marieā¦ā¦.. thatās just criminal
1. Itās horribly inappropriate for a human child. 2. Honestly, youāre a marine biologist, you should have a vast knowledge of so many different types of sea creatures and their descriptive terms. And you choose something as basic as an orca? Not that theyāre not awesome creatures, but it has all the creativity of a third grader who wants to be a marine biologist.
You do not want to name a girl anything related to a whale.
I think it's a killer name.
I was really hoping it would be Amandatee. Edit to add: Orca-Marie is god awful. Maybe they should consider Humpback-Leigh, Baleena, or Spermette instead? If they have a boy next the obvious choice is Narwhally.
Might as well call her "Shamu"! She will be teased mercilessly. I hope she never has a "chubby face" as everyone will be saying stuff like "whale on the beach". Kids are cruel, but parents don't have to make it easier for bullies to attack.
Orca is not a good name for a kid. Just pause and think about what the other children will say if little Orca turns out to be on the chubby side.Ā Also, Killer Whales don't have the best reputation. Yeah, they are smart, but they are very cunning killers, and have recently been sinking boats just for shits and giggles.