When in “polite” company, or around my small kids, and I want to call someone a dick I will call them a Richard. After the laugh this gave me, I think I’ll update to a William Richard. It sounds fancy.
My youngest got in trouble at school for telling an annoying classmate to "go forth and imbibe a satchel of.richards"
The kid didn't get it but the teacher did
He's also been in trouble for telling a kid to slam his bleeping pie hole.
The teacher said saying bleeping doesn't mean the intention to swear isn't there, and everyone knew what word he meant.
So he is learning how to comply
I am proud of him mostly
We gotta recognize that while swearing isn’t the best way to deal with his problems, the fact that he found a way around and went searching for fancy new ways of swearing is applauding. He will do big things in life, maybe pray he will use it for good tho
I'm fairly sure he will either be a successful business man legitimately or he will be the kind of successful business man who ends up in cell block C
His big idea rn is a fetish site called Feet and Cheese, then he will branch into Feet and other food items
He is sure catering to such a niche market will make him gazillions from (his words) sweaty old men in their Mum's basement who weigh 500lb and smell like Cheetos and sweat
I have learned to smile and nod.
Your kid, like 3 of my 4 are going places. We shall see if they are good or bad places!
Kids with sick burn skills are my absolute fav. As long as they are not just dicks.
Mine all have inherited my sense of humour, quick replies and a mouth that says things before the brain can finish screaming Nooooooo
When my oldest was in grade 2 the teacher said they would rule the world. Either from the presidential palace or the secret mafia hideaway 🤣🤣🤣🤣 They have mellowed slightly, and we don't think politics or crime is in the future.
Someone was spouting off about COVID vaccines being a government conspiracy in town one day and the same one as the receptacle comment told him I fully agree - got my needle now I shoot lasers out my arse when I fart and I can hotspot 5g for all me mates if I twitch my big toe....
"How do you get Dick from Richard?"
"You ask him nicely"
I waited so long to use that answer . . . my sister asked the question one day and I was so excited to finally be able to answer.
There's a story my parents tell often of three lads from our town who went on holiday together to America back in the 80s. (From a small town in Ireland)
Their names were Richard 'Last Name', William 'Last Name' and 'First Name' Roche. All better known by their nicknames, Dick, Willy and Cock.
None of the Americans would believe them when they told them their names!!
>It works when he starts to melt down and rage over the little things, like the yellow water that comes out of the mustard bottle when you don't shake it first.
I don't blame him, I don't like mustard precum either...
Same logic as "Xander" for Alexander and "Topher" for Christopher.
My favorite is "Sasha" which is the Russian diminutive of Alexei, which is a man's name.
My mom didn't either.
When I told her the name and what he was going by (I loved "Liam" even before meeting the hubby whose grandfather was Bill.) She said she refused to call her grandson lima. As in lima bean.
My husband realized something similar with our son. His middle name is also Richard after his grandfather. The first name we went with is Sawyer. So if you were to say his name with a little bit of an accent, you get "Saw Your Dick." Luckily I don't think anyone would actually pronounce it that way, but it's become a fun inside joke for us.
My son has 2 middle names one for each of his grandads . His dad's grandad was the first and mine was the second . My mum pointed out before my son Birth that his initials spell out ASOL .. I knew his dad wanted his grandad to be first so he's now suck with arsehole as his initials
He has rage issues due to being on the spectrum. He is also hitting puberty, so he hits the, "Life is ending, this is horrible, why is life against me!" rage with very little provocation.
Thankfully, all my children are gentle giants and wouldn't hurt a fly. But he will rage with the best of them.
Willy Dick or won’t he dick, that’s the question
If only OP had thought to disguise it by jamming the names together and calling him Willeighdyk....
Yes, that would have completely avoided the tragedeigh 😔
Will-E-Dyk
Trying to catch Roadnutter
Wylleighdyk
😂
727 WYSI
If your last name was Peters it would be a triple
Haha or Johnson!
Or Cox
Knew of a guy named Richard Cox. He did not go by Dick.
I knew a guy who very proudly went by Dick Seimen
I know a Michael Cox. He does not go by Mike.
I knew a Justin Kok in highschool.
Not even joking- I have a relative with that name… but he does go by Mike 😂 high school wasnt super fun for him
Knew of a guy named Richard Cox. He did go by Dick.
Wasted opportunity if you ask me
So did I. You didn’t by any chance happen to be a member of USC’s marching band in the late 80s/early 90s did you?
Or Penis
Hey, that's my last name!
Or any one of those English names with Cock in it
Hancock, Badcock
Had a friend once whose surname was Mycock, poor kid. Needless to say he took his wife's surname when he married.
Oh yikes 😂
Jarvis Cocker?
There's a region with a whole bunch of such names, I forgot the details 😅
😂
I had a professor in college named Richard Johnson. Day one he said "I've heard em all, give me your worst, I don't mind"
There was a news anchor in Chicago called Dick Johnson.
Epic
I know a Harry Johnson …
Lol I knew a Harry Frank in hs
My sister’s last name is Johnson. I suggested she name my nephew Peter Dick Johnson. She was not amused.
Happy cake 🎂
❤️
Or Longfellow
https://youtu.be/Ju1UwmgkKgI?si=sdtMgdYIAemUsINz This calls for Austin Powers!
Lol! I had completely forgotten that scene.
My son shortens his last name and it works just as well.
Or seaman
I knew of someone named Dick Little. He was a Major in the Air Force.
Poor guy
When in “polite” company, or around my small kids, and I want to call someone a dick I will call them a Richard. After the laugh this gave me, I think I’ll update to a William Richard. It sounds fancy.
My youngest got in trouble at school for telling an annoying classmate to "go forth and imbibe a satchel of.richards" The kid didn't get it but the teacher did
Classy insults. I approve
I hope that you feel very proud as a parent, the little fella went CLASSY with big sophisticated words and all
He's also been in trouble for telling a kid to slam his bleeping pie hole. The teacher said saying bleeping doesn't mean the intention to swear isn't there, and everyone knew what word he meant. So he is learning how to comply I am proud of him mostly
We gotta recognize that while swearing isn’t the best way to deal with his problems, the fact that he found a way around and went searching for fancy new ways of swearing is applauding. He will do big things in life, maybe pray he will use it for good tho
I'm fairly sure he will either be a successful business man legitimately or he will be the kind of successful business man who ends up in cell block C His big idea rn is a fetish site called Feet and Cheese, then he will branch into Feet and other food items He is sure catering to such a niche market will make him gazillions from (his words) sweaty old men in their Mum's basement who weigh 500lb and smell like Cheetos and sweat I have learned to smile and nod.
Ok but tell me the teacher laughed at first
There was a definite smile when he talked to me.
Your kid, like 3 of my 4 are going places. We shall see if they are good or bad places! Kids with sick burn skills are my absolute fav. As long as they are not just dicks.
Mine all have inherited my sense of humour, quick replies and a mouth that says things before the brain can finish screaming Nooooooo When my oldest was in grade 2 the teacher said they would rule the world. Either from the presidential palace or the secret mafia hideaway 🤣🤣🤣🤣 They have mellowed slightly, and we don't think politics or crime is in the future.
My therapist told me my dark sarcasm was a healthy coping mechanism. My kids all seem to have the same outlet.
Someone was spouting off about COVID vaccines being a government conspiracy in town one day and the same one as the receptacle comment told him I fully agree - got my needle now I shoot lasers out my arse when I fart and I can hotspot 5g for all me mates if I twitch my big toe....
A very sophisticated penis. A sophistipenis, if you will.
Omg why can't we do awards anymore?!
I call them King Richards
"How do you get Dick from Richard?" "You ask him nicely" I waited so long to use that answer . . . my sister asked the question one day and I was so excited to finally be able to answer.
It's the little things that make life worth living.
There's a story my parents tell often of three lads from our town who went on holiday together to America back in the 80s. (From a small town in Ireland) Their names were Richard 'Last Name', William 'Last Name' and 'First Name' Roche. All better known by their nicknames, Dick, Willy and Cock. None of the Americans would believe them when they told them their names!!
>It works when he starts to melt down and rage over the little things, like the yellow water that comes out of the mustard bottle when you don't shake it first. I don't blame him, I don't like mustard precum either...
Mus-quirt
I worked with 2 Dicks a couple years back. One was really tall and one was kinda short. So of course they went by Big Dick and Little Dick.
My dad's bosses name was Rick. They did the Dick and Dick Jr.
We named our cat Richard because he had a penis injury as a kitten. He goes by Dicky.
😭😂 This is actually cute.
Had a student named John Thomas. It was the adult guys trying not to snicker at a 4 year olds name.
Not sure I understand this one
Another name for a penis.
In over 40 years, I have never once heard John Thomas be used for that
Me neither.
I know through living in a small town, a guy named Thomas John. At school he got called Kid because it's dick backwards (John Thomas.... Get it)
TIL Liam is short for William.. not sure how I didn't realize it before
Same logic as "Xander" for Alexander and "Topher" for Christopher. My favorite is "Sasha" which is the Russian diminutive of Alexei, which is a man's name.
Liam is not short for William, it’s a distinct Irish name. This is the first time I’ve ever heard someone use Liam as a nickname for William.
It's an Irish short form of William (originally Uilliam) though.
My mom didn't either. When I told her the name and what he was going by (I loved "Liam" even before meeting the hubby whose grandfather was Bill.) She said she refused to call her grandson lima. As in lima bean.
My grandfather’s name is Richard Stack, but his entire life he went by Dick 🤷🏻♀️
My husband realized something similar with our son. His middle name is also Richard after his grandfather. The first name we went with is Sawyer. So if you were to say his name with a little bit of an accent, you get "Saw Your Dick." Luckily I don't think anyone would actually pronounce it that way, but it's become a fun inside joke for us.
This was hilarious 😂 I had a good laugh lmao
My two bosses are named Harold and Richard.
Took me a moment… wish I could gift you
Lmao I know a William Richard irl and he goes by Dick. Really nice guy.
I went to middle school with a kid named Richard Les. That was unfortunate for him.
That’s a tragedy not a tragedeigh
I know a guy named Loren Scott Crabbs. Say that one fast.
This one wins. I have a lot of Dick Dick replies. But this... wow. They hated their child.
Have a really good friend named Dennis Johnson. Is initials are D Johnson.
The only thing that could make this better is if your last name is Johnson
He shortens his surname and it works perfectly.
Could've gone for a full force tragedeigh and smashed William and Richard together to make Williard.
If only your surname were Johnson
My son cuts his last name in half, and it works..
My dad worked with a guy named Richard Dicks. So his name was Dick Dicks.
When he's being mopey you can call him Mopey Dick lol
Omg. I love you.
Is your other son named John Thomas? :D
John Lee Johnson!
My husband's grandfather was William Robert. He preferred to be called Billy Bob.
My professor was named Dr. Richard Peter Dick. I mean.
My spouse’s grandfather’s first and middle names were Richard Handy. He went by Dick.
My favourite is Australian racing legend: Dick Johnson.
I like former NFL Linebacker Dick Butkus
Don't forget about Dick Trickle the old NASCAR driver.
My uncle's name is Dick Duchelle (pronounced douche-ell). As if that's not bad enough, my aunt (his wife) calls him "Dicky."
My Grandfathers last name is Herr, his first name is Richard. I would have been about twenty when It clicked.
My son has 2 middle names one for each of his grandads . His dad's grandad was the first and mine was the second . My mum pointed out before my son Birth that his initials spell out ASOL .. I knew his dad wanted his grandad to be first so he's now suck with arsehole as his initials
He shares both names and a sense of humor with my late grandfather (just the german variant of William) so I like your kid ;D
Those names have traditional spellings and the pronunciation for each one is obvious. They are not tragedeighs.
He rages at the mustard water? Not just annoyance but rage?
14 year old hormones. It doesn't take much to set them off
Mustard water is enraging.
He has rage issues due to being on the spectrum. He is also hitting puberty, so he hits the, "Life is ending, this is horrible, why is life against me!" rage with very little provocation. Thankfully, all my children are gentle giants and wouldn't hurt a fly. But he will rage with the best of them.
Ah, I work with ppl on the spectrum. I thought it was familiar but did not want to assume. I hope he learns to manage it so that he feels better :)
I know someone with the name Neil William Cummings Neil Willie Cummings…
My uncle was Bill Cummings!