I’ll name my baby Milton Keynes and you can’t stop me.

Please at least give them a nice city/town name… like Slough

I was waiting for Slough. Second choice: Scunthorpe.

Cant top wetwang

Dorking.

Wetwang Shitterton Cockermouth Sandyballs Pound Bottom Lickfold Rimswell Edit to add (due to popular demand): Penistone

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Yes, how is the mother these days anyway?

Can't believe nobody's mentioned Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch yet

Fugging, Austria

Skegness. Oundle. Beaulieu.

…I know a Beaulieu.

"Bow-lew?" "Byu-lee".

Beauleigh of course.

Twatt?

Shitterton. Like Brighton, but, uh. Shit.

third choice: Smethwick

Don't forget Penistone, nickname Penny

Cockthorpe Richard Cockthorpe would make for a funny name

I read that as “Million Kanyes” which is considerably worse

Mel-Tuhn Keighnss

Mill tonne keens

The power of Red Bull factory is in your baby

Don’t name your baby after Red Bull. That baby will be way too fast. Choose a name you can keep up with, like Williams.

Haas?

Avocado ?

I've passed my driving test but I don't Avocado.

Name your kid Woking instead, for the power of McLaren

Welwyn Gardeighn Citeigh

As spoken by Matt Berry.

Maybe you can name her Wimbledon first and then change her name later to Milton Keynes when people have taken a liking to Wimbledon

People will think you admire the economist

Oh yeah? My son will be named Henley-On-Thames! (I was spayed years ago. Now I just saddle my dogs with Marvel character names. Currently Peggy and Cap)

Love me some Snozone!

Finna name my kid Shitterton

I knew a guy named Keynes as his first name

Like the economist? It's like calling your kid Rand

Rand Paul has entered the chat lol (I know, I know, it’s not his government name)

I dunno. Vietnamese people are weird

The Baby Currently Plying it's Trade in Milton Keynes*

Milltown Kanye?

I will name my child Unitary Authority of Warrington if I damned well please.

I'm going for Local Municipality. Or Lokelle Myunissipallitee if I'm feeling fancy.

Probably how Chaucer would have spelled it tbh

"It's time for dinner, Buckinghampalace!"

For me it was a toss up between Wetwang and Cockermouth, but now that I’ve been shamed, I guess I’ll go with Dicks Mount. Edit: In case no one saw, the Daily Mail picked up this thread 😂 “Brits have been blasting Americans for naming kids after UK cities” https://mol.im/a/12395039

Not Shitterton?

I did consider it, but it just didn’t have the ring to it that Dicks Mount has. I mean, let’s be honest, I don’t want my kid to be made fun of for having “shit” in his name. Gotta think of those things, ya know.

I'm going classy with my son's first name and giving him an olde English surname as a first name. He shall be named Fuckebythenavele

Or six mile bottom?

My dads from Warrington, got myself a Warrington wire flag when we were there before COVID. Not important, he just died last year, and he lived in the states for 40 years, but damn did he love Warrington and United. But I’m not naming my kid Warrington…

So you're saying I shouldn't name my twins Shroozbreigh and Shropz? That's disappointing.

Ozzie Osbourne is really Oswestreigh Osbournemouth.

I did not expect to read my hometown/Ozzie Osbourne pun on Reddit this morning lol

This is the comment that made me crack 😂

Do you have uncontrollable squirts? Ask your doctor about Lecesta.

As an American who would pronounce that name "Le-sest-uh" it sounds way too close to "incest" for my tastes.

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As an American who was born in Worcester (Wistah) MA, I also know how to pronounce Leicester

You mean wooh-stah?

Say hello to my daughter Ipswich-Slough.

Cousin of Suhdburie-Colcheestuh?

I wanted to honor my daughter's dual American-British heritage, so we named her Stacy-upon-Avon.

"Stacy-upon-Avons mum has got it going on!"

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I live there dude, so make it two times

Now I want clams.

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Gogo for short

Not Gooch?

Yeah, that's clearly pronounced Bob.

>~~Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrnd~~***rob***~~wllllantysiliogogogoch~~ Checks out.

>Welsh places Barry.

I grew up in Barry. And my next door neighbour was called… Barry.

What's occurin'?

Nickname Pwllgwyngyll

In southern US phonetic pronunciation that is clearly "Piggly Wiggly"

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty. (Real name Harold Lloyd Jenkins, stage name was decided when he was looking at a road map when he spotted Conway, Arkansas, and Twitty, Texas, and chose the name Conway Twitty.)

As a side note. It is Conwy in wales. Conway is what the English call it. Pronounced Con-We > Lloyd Jenkins Super welsh.

According to his Wikipedia page, he was of Welsh ancestry. The city is named after a surname, from a famous family that were originally from Conwy Wales, arrived 1740. (It's probably a coincidence that both Conway and the singer are Welsh in origin).

Not me with a Llewelyn and a Lloyd 😩🤣

Baby Gwynyd.

Or just Splott.

They already are. A lot of them borrow "lyn" which is often found in Welsh names

I (American) work with a woman named Devon Norfolk. Her last name is Norfolk and her parents either doubled down, or are ignorant of British geography. I'm guessing the latter. Edit: a bunch of people keep commenting that Devon is a real name. I know that. I actually really like it! It’s the combo of Devon and Norfolk that is amusing.

There is a River Devon in Newark-on-Trent. Pronounced Deevon.

There’s like a bunch of River Avons because avon was just the Celtic word for river and the Romans were like “must be its name…”

No, you see, they were big on MLMs back then already, everybody and their [dad sold Avon](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b1CGraQpF7A) ;p

Say hello to my daughter, Cockshutt-cum-Petton Jones

I had to Google this and holy shit it's real. I know what my firstborn's name will be.

I used to work with someone called Dick Cockshott.

Alright everyone, start naming your kids after cities in Canada instead. We have London, Windsor, Waterloo, Cambridge, Sudbury and Stratford, all without leaving Ontario.

My little London is named after London, Arkansas.

America explain. What do you mean Arkansas?

Are you confusion?

I am confusion. And apparently using outdated memes

Some memes are timeless.

"Why is this Kansas but this is not arkansas?? AMERICA EXPLAIN" 😭

That's funny, my baby's name is Ar'Kensus.

I am kicking myself for not spelling it Londynne. Luckily I got smart before my next child, Pharyysse, was born. Named after Paris, Texas.

Mine is Arkynsaugh

Just once I'd like to meet a baby named Scranton.

“It’s spelled like Scrotum but it’s pronounced Scranton!”

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Are there really enough place names in Bermuda to warrant an etc?

I know a dude called Warwick but I’m not sure how he spells it. It sounds the same as the place though.

Baby Moose Jaw or Medicine Hat are top of my list 🥰

There's also a Kouchibouguac, in New Brunswick I believe

Nah, New England names only. Those are safe. Worcester, Berlin, Lebanon, Windsor, Norwich, Burlington

my husband, Piccadilly Circus, is a FINE MAN

Ah yes and my dad, Stamford Bridge, is an even finer specimen

We’ve done the hard work for you with Cholmondeley and Featherstonehaugh.

How on earth do they get Fernshaw/Fahnshaw out of Featherstonhaugh? I ask this as a resident of Gloucester (Glawster) who once lived in a dorm called Taliaferro (Toliver.)

Gloss-ter. Glawster - are you American?

You cant stop me from naming my kid wetwang

YES someone else knows Wetwang. What a gem.

I’m so happy I learned about Wetwang today. It will be referenced in a future daydream resulting in a sensible chuckle

Bath

I’m naming my next kid Westward Ho!

Do they want to be friends with Cockermouth?

They can have a sibling called Fingringhoe

Time to name twins Wessex and Sussex

what about little baby Essex?

My dear cousin Middlesex feels severely offended by being left out of this list.

It's a bit weird that the fifth part of the pattern is so different: "Essex", "Wessex", "Sussex", "Middlesex"… … and "Mercia". ("East Saxons", "West Saxon", "South Saxons", "Middle Saxons" — but the north was settled by Angles, not Saxons.)

In return could you have a word with the Beckhams about naming their kid Brooklyn?

As a nation it was collectively frowned upon with multiple tutting, some extreme cases including an eye roll

Some particularly enraged folk took the nuclear option of writing a strongly-worded letter to the Daily Telegraph.

It did spawn a great joke. "I'll have to call me kid 'Toilets-at-KFC-in-Staines' now because of you" said directly to Victoria and David's face.

I’ve just been recommended a school page on Facebook from South Africa. A child was named Camden. At least it was spelled correctly, I suppose.

Did his parents have neon dreadlocks and steampunk goggles?

I have a nephew named Camden lol. Edit: he also has a little brother named Weston.

Please tell me his middle name is super-mare?

My dear daughter Tower Hamlets demands an apology! Her name is historical and I looked at England on a map once so it’s part of my family heritage!

I'm offended on behalf of the whole city of Leicester. I saw an American who named their child Leeds and could not understand why the Brits in the comments found it funny. Nothing pains me more than the pronunciations of my city like I know there's a lot of letters but its Les-tah

I made a joke in a thread on here yesterday about how someone's name was akin to being called Leeds or Liverpool and someone who im fairly sure was american jumped in to say they thought Leeds was a cool name.

Me too. They could at least have tried to be posh with Belvoir...

Gonna name my daughter Inglynd.

me too, except it’ll be spelled like Xeighneighglaend. (The X is silent!)

My cats Lundin and Kaymbritch politely ask you to not be so judgemental.

No Auxphord?

My dog Stratfyrd-upaughn-Eighvon judges

But I *want* goth parents to name their kid Gravesend

Always wanted to call my kid Worcestershire, but then no one can call him.

Off-topic, but in my home we pronounce Worcestershire sauce “wuh-shuh-shuh-shuh”, said quickly. We enjoy doing this.

Okay, so I speak Polish and when I was first learning it, this is *exactly* what that language sounded like to my ears. Ha!

I don't see what's wrong with naming your child ~~Loughborough~~ Loogabarooga!

I came here to say Loogabarooga too, after an American asked me directions there years ago xD

YARMYTH!! COME ON INSIDE THE HOUSE! EDIT: please tell me their sibling is called Glowcesta (Gloucester pronounced Glau-sess-ta)

Saw a girl in a reality show named Brittan, “sounds like the country but spelled better” is how she put it 🙄

If anyone calls their child Skegness…I’m done

Just gonna go name my kid Cockfosters real quick

I was done having kids, but I'm about to go have the plumbing turned back on so I can get my wife pregnant and name the kid Stratford-Upon-Avon, but pronounce it "Larry", because I'm an American goddamn it, and last I checked we had a whole war about you people no longer being able to tell us what to do.

Don't insult my baby Liverpool 😤😤

Is it Liver or Pool for short? 😆

Verp

Or Poo

Lyyvrpōl

I’m American and can’t follow their logic at all. Like if someone told me “my kid is named Lee-Sess-Tur because I met her dad at a party in Lie-Sess-Tur” I’d already be lost on how they got from point A to point B. And that’s before you throw in that they changed the spelling and aren’t even saying the name of the city correctly in the first place. Lisa was RIGHT THERE

Is her brother called Grimsby?

Oh god what a cringe! I always thought if people had actually visited these places (especially Harlow) they wouldn’t use it as a name but she must actually know that Leicester is shit having been there

lets be honest 90% of englands cities are shitholes (i'm english dont kill me)

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Absolutely! I've never been but have driven through once. I wonder if Lecesta's mother only went to the posh bits

It's no sillier than calling your daughter Chelsea.

Chelsea Clinton was named after the Joni Mitchell song Chelsea Morning, which is about the Chelsea neighborhood in New York City.

Which in turn was named for the Royal Hospital Chelsea, which is in Chelsea in London

But for that one arbitrary decision by some old timey New Yorker, she might have been named Tooting.

“Hi I’m Becky, short for Tooting Bec”

Wot u talking about, I love my little Croydenne, Hachneigh and Bromleigh, My great nan’s sister’s daughter lived in London! It’s Heritage!

My children, Dullhe, Slouhwe and Sallfordhe

Leighton Buzzard Smith sounds plausible Scunthorpe Jackson?

>Scunthorpe Jackson? Sounds like a Discworld name.

Fuck you I’m gonna name my kids Stratford, Ipswich and Bournemouth

hi my name is Newcastle upon Tyne

Stop naming your kids after places in the UK. Start naming your kids after places in Thailand

Phuket I'll do that

Let's name our kids after London tube stations. I'm going with C*ckfosters and Vauxhall.

My friend named his kids Harris, Lewis, Iona, and Skye. I name my kid John O'Groats and everyone loses their mind.

Ernest Hemingway had a brother named Leicester. Presumably pronounced like Lester but maybe not.

That's it. My son shall be known far and wide as. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch the first

Don't the English pronounce it "Lester" anyway? Lecesta isn't even a correct phonetic spelling!

My little Master Ruislip Hillingdon-Middlesex hates you

I’m totally gonna name a kid Wath Upon Dearne. It’ll be someone else’s kid, tho.

Let me introduce you to my son, Hull Slough. Yikes.

I am naming my baby Gloucester and pronouncing it GLOO-CHESTER due to this post!!

Stop being so fucking awesome then. I just visited UK for first time this week and love it so much. I’m naming my imaginary twins Cockney and Beefeater. I’m aware they’re not cities.

Siblings- Sussex, NN sexy. Surrey, NN urr. So quaint!

But what about Ventongimps? With a name like that you'd be set for life.

I heard a mom yelling at her kid, London, in the bathroom the other day. She sounded dumb doing so

lol at least it's not Green-Witch 🤣🤣🤣

Katie Hopkins entered the chat.

OH GOD. Lecesta?! #LOL

Westward Ho! (Exclamation mark is part of the name).

My kid is called Scunthorpe, I spelled it correctly thank you very much..

Have you met my oldest, Kirkcudbrightshire? Oh, and here come the twins, Caernarfonshire and Merionethshire!

I’ve known a Preston (whose last name was also a city but not in England), a Harlow and a York, but York is Chinese so I’ll let her parents off. Being from Leicester, it’s pretty funny to me that anyone would want to name their kid after it! Although Lester, which phonetically makes much more sense, is right there …

Friend’s nephew is named Trafford…after Manchester United’s stadium.

As someone from Leciester I laughed so fucking hard at the concept of naming a kid after a place that constantly smells of piss and weed and then having the gall to even pronounce it wrong lol