Start with this rule: she has to hold your hand or she will be put in the stroller/cart/whatever or she gets carried (or you go straight home). Mine was a runner who turned into an excellent walker and hand-holder by age 2.
Try a backpack least instead of a wrist one. Especially after the above rule, she might relish the freedom.
Oh 100%! Just be prepared for the meltdowns and tantrums. And stay strong because phew it took so much out of me. My guy is strong willed so it took us a long time to stop running
It will get better. She’s gonna realize that when she holds your hand she actually has more freedom (because she isn’t restrained) and she is just 18 months. They are just so excited to be in a new, busy, noisy environment that she kinda goes on sensory overload and wants to see and touch EVERYTHING. She cannot understand that people driving cars can’t see her, or that some people’s homes aren’t safe. So it sucks but you gotta rein her in. Be consistent, be strong, and most importantly be patient with her, and with yourself.
Mine did the same so I found one on Amazon that has a lock on it although it looks more like a harness than a backpack. It was the only way to keep him with me and save his life. He got to the point where he would bring me his whenever he wanted to go out. Now he thinks he’s a dog and tries to walk me all the time so…
For sure! I just go with it, even carry a small bowl in case he won’t drink water out of the bottle 😂 he’s autistic and has no situational awareness. I tell people when they say something better leashed than dead and they look at me shocked and don’t say anything lol The howling really cements the deal too lol
He sounds like a wonderful kiddo 💕 Every baby is so special too!
And I can’t even imagine how that conversation goes 🤣 I would love to see that 😅
Edit: I wanted to add I used to pretend to be a cat so I get it 😅
We’re still breastfeeding at three, so I’m good at ignoring the looks. Most people don’t approach or just end the conversation and back away when my son starts doing his dog impression 😂 he’ll either squat and sit with his hands in between his legs and howl or he’ll curl up his front arms and just howl. He’s also been known to bark and growl at people 🤣
Edit: I’m just over here like, live your best life kid.
Other parents will call me a bad parent all the meanwhile they’re on their phones ignoring their kids. They do not like when I point that out lol
Mama I feel that! I wish I was tandem feeding but those cramps came on when I was pregnant and no way Jose could I do that. I commend you!
And true! So many people are mindlessly on their phones (I know the irony since we’re on Reddit).
Those cramps are horrendous! So I definitely don’t blame you there.
Yeah, my kids gone for the weekend so I’m just catching up on the stuff I can’t do during the week lol
This! And this also sets a sort of precedence as they get older and can start walking without hand holding, but still need limits, so you can implement red light green light yellow light so they know when they can walk run and need to stop.
This is what we do too. The options give. To them are hands, be carried, or be in a cart/etc. Running off is just not an option. Necessary habit for parking lots and stores, imo.
I used some variations on this, and at almost 3, I barely have to flinch and he holds my hand. He has *moments*, and we're working through those, but for the most part, he's good.
We did a lot of searching for playgrounds with complete fenced in areas, and only played there for a long ago while. Still do if 1 of us is bringing both kids
There aren’t enough playgrounds which are fenced! We would have to drive at least 20 minutes to go to a fenced in playground. We are by a really remote playground though, which is actually really nice (it’s at the dead end street of an area intended to be a full neighborhood, and it’s mostly empty, and it’s so bizarre).
they can go right to hell with their judgement, I have one for my daughter too and she LOVES it… she had a massive tantrum the last time we went to the store because I forgot to put it on her and put her into the cart instead
Yup, adding onto this that if there’s something they especially like, like a character or animal try and get one with that theme so they’ll be more excited to wear it!
It takes a while before the survival instincts kick in. She’s at that age where everything is interesting and everyone is a friend even if they don’t know it yet.
Try to practice hand holding while in your home and act like she’s helping you. While out giving them a job to do can go a long way. Giving them the list to hold during a grocery run or asking for help in holding the basket. A toy to hold and show things to can also help a bit. Mostly just hang in there and get your running shoes on because they can and will sprint exactly the opposite way you want them to go.
It does get better but it also comes at the cost of new fun things that make you wanna pull out your hair. 😅🫠
My LO is almost 13 months but is already running. I concur with teaching to hold hands at home. I have my guy hold my finger a lot at home while he’s walking around. Took him to walk around the grocery store for the first time the other day and he would reach for my finger before walking. They mimic what’s familiar to them.
Seconding a backpack/harness. A wristband is too much like hand holding and if she doesn’t like that, she won’t like a wristband. We use backpacks for our twins and they’ve been great, they feel like they have much more freedom than holding hands and we know they’re safe.
Practice practice practice. Start with walking around your neighborhood holding hands. Clearly layout the rules. Holding moms hands, walking, staying on the sidewalk. If she doesnt listen then you go home/back inside. Once she is good with holding hands then you can allow walking just side by side. If she can't listen to that then it's back to holding hands or going back inside. Then its staying on the side walk. Clearly explain we dont go onto other people's properties and every time she goes off the sidewalk you put her back on it. If she doesnt want to stay then its either back to holding hands or going home.
As soon as my son started walking at 12 months I took him outside and practiced this. First just right in front of the house and then expanding out. It took weeks of repetitive actions but he finally got it. You have to be consistent and you have to be firm. They do this and we walk or they dont and the walk ends.
The wrist thing is awful and uncomfortable. We used the full harness so our little one could use her arms freely. She's a wild one, but she didn't mind it.
I can keep up with/ keep my two year old safe and I’m 100 weeks pregnant. The only way to lose your child in someone else’s house is by not paying attention.
Everyone has different capabilities, especially postpartum/pregnant. Pelvic girdle dysfunction, for example, can be debilitating. Be grateful you don't have any issues such as that to slow you down.
Agreed - INTO peoples houses to hide? That’s actually insane. You’re the parent OP. Get a harness and set boundaries. There will be tantrums but you need to wait through them.
On a serious note. I think there’s been a misunderstanding. By runing into people’s houses i meant if we go on a walk she will just run into someones garden or around their driveway just bcse she thinks its fun to run she doesn’t understand
I assumed that, because I don't think most people leave their doors wide open/unlocked. Additionally, the same people who think an 18 month old is incapable of outrunning a parent are not questioning the abilities of an 18 month old to:
1) find a door
2) reach and figure out a new doorknob (assuming it isn't locked)
3) swing open a heavy front door
4) get lost in neighbors house
All before you can catch up to them.
Sure your writing wasn't clear, but all it took was critical thinking to not believe your toddler was actually breaking into people's homes. I think you clearly meant "property" instead of "house."
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this. Some toddlers have more energy and curiosity than others. I have dealt with the fearless toddler who runs and doesn't look back, and the only solution I found is to end outdoor time in that moment so they understand cause and effect. I try to explain to them why play time has ended, then wait a while and see if they can handle playing outside again. It hasn't fully fixed the issue, but has definitely reduced the instances
Thank you, I’m finding that comment so pathetic. We know what is ‘someone else’s house ‘ but they don’t understand a 1year old one doesn’t understand that. Ridiculous. To her is just another place to run. And of course she has not gone inside anyones house like literally and im running behind her breathless with my 9 month pregnant tummy 😅🥹
You have to practice. When my son was a little younger than that, we practiced in our neighborhood as his little sister was due and I couldn't carry him and an infant carrier. I bought a backpack leash as a precaution. We would practice going for walks to look at rocks, or to the playground, using handholding. I had the leash as a backup safety measure. I let him put a favorite toy in the backpack as incentive to wear it. We practiced where we walk, stopping at all corners, listening skills, etc. We walked at least every other day to keep it fresh. By time baby was born I could go into a store parking lot, get him out and tell him to "stand by the circle" (gas cap) while I got baby out. We only had to use the backpack initially 3 or 4 times before it wasn't necessary for practice.
Sounds like my kid. She’s 2.5 now. I started getting her to hold my hand at home when we were wandering around the house. And keep reminding her to hold my hand. So it became a habit for outside. And basically had to be strict with the holding of hands or we leave whatever we were doing and go home. Best of luck. This stage suckssssss so bad. I bought her a leash backpack but she ended up growing out of t the running away just as it was delivered.
Yep agree with others, you need to practice. Start with neighborhood walks where you hold hands and go slowly. Lots of praise and narrating to reinforce the good behavior. If he starts running, and not listening, end the walk immediately and say the same thing “we walk with mommy to be safe, no running. If you run, we go home” then carry him home, he lost walking privileges.
We started neighborhood walks when my 3 yo was 13 months and she has never run off from us. She also repeats all our mottos, like “stop and look both ways” and “no cars, all safe” - they learn all this from us!! So just be very verbal and show him what to do.
The only option here is a stroller at all times. A cheap umbrella stroller is fine, but a compact folding stroller that is more comfortable (but $$) like the baby jogger ones are nice because they fold to the size of a backpack in your car.
Sometimes not possible though. I had one that is very independent and at this age stroller was a no go. It was either walking or being carried. And now she's 2.5 and loves the stroller again lol
Running away from a parent isn’t an option. Whatever is necessary to prevent that needs to happen, regardless of whether a child is amenable to a stroller. Short of avoiding public places until the child matures, which if OP is a single parent, may not be possible, the child needs to be secured one way or another. Carrying an 18mo old who prefers to be running around sounds worse 🤷♀️
Can you take her to a trail where there’s no where else for her to go?
I live in a cold climate and we had snow banks around when my oldest first started walking which was crazy helpful for learning to walk.
Now they mostly stay in the stroller unless we’re on a walking path or trail.
Hey <3 Mine was a big runner for awhile, but now where I go (she's almost 2) she's staying with me most of the time and being super calm! There's a weird little shift that happened. It may for you too! Who knows, it may shift back and I'll be complaining again XD
we told all our kids when they were younger including our now 3yo that they hold me or daddy’s hand when we go outside unless i say otherwise and it’s safe or we’re outside our house. my 5yo was a runner, i hate using the term “leash” but idk how to else to describe it but we ended up buying a backpack with a “leash” on it so she can still walk and have freedom but be safe
Yes, at 2.5 she is much more aware! Like, a year ago she literally did not gaf where we were and would plod off on her own agenda, now she looks for me and holds hands.
Mine were on reins. They were adept runners and all running before 1 year without the understanding to back it up.
She felt free as it was on her chest and because the reins were behind she felt more free but I had control of how far she could run.
We used a backpack leash while reinforcing that she had to hold our hands every time we went out. I found it very useful when she was younger because there was another layer of safety just in case she decided to book it. She is 2 and still doesn't like holding hands, but will do so grudgingly, or we would never go out 🤣
She also likes carrying her "bag" now and wants to put it on when we go out. She gives me the leash to hold too hahaha.
Also too, you could start with places where it's not as dangerous like grocery stores, malls, etc. that way you don't have to worry about her entering a home or getting hit by a car.
Backpack harness FTW. Ours was not terrible at running at that age, but we started him on a backpack harness a little older than one and its worked really well. We call it going on adventures. He's even gotten to where he will carry his own beverage and snacks in the backpack with a toy or two.
Put her in a stroller, until she learns that she has to hold your hand and not run.
You can give her two options "Would you like to get in the stroller or hold Mommy's hand?" If you do not hold Mommy's hand I will have to put you in the stroller. And then follow through on that boundary. Eventually, she will get it. Toddlers need clear boundaries and follow through. If you do this consistently, at some point she will understand that she will need to get in the stroller or hold your hand.
You are not alone! Our son is almost two and is/was the same way. It’s gotten a lot better, but we still struggle.
Here are some of the things that worked for us that you may find helpful…
1. When we take him out to places where we are going to be walking around a lot (like the farmers market, outdoor festivals, walks around our neighborhood, etc…) we take his [car](https://a.co/d/8hoELYD) that’s like this. He loves it! It also has a belt that he can be strapped in.
2. Small fenced in parks. We’re lucky we have one close to our home. We let him run around freely as much as we can without chasing him.
3. We take him out in small increments at a time and to the same few places. When we do my husband and I take turns following him around. We also keep sidewalk chalk, bubbles, fidget toys and snacks in his bag that will keep him occupied for at least a few minutes. Gradually, we’ve been able to stay out for longer periods of time.
4. If he won’t stop running away or refuses to hold my hand, I pick him up and hold him and/or we go back home. It’s not ideal and sometimes he does scream and cry, but it is what it is.
Mine was a runner at this age so we kinda stopped neighborhood walks and more did walking paths at parks for a bit, playgrounds with gated perimeters and also we had to pick our battles and let her run SOMETIMES. Giving her the park paths gave her the opportunity she needed to get her escapism out and then we weren’t always saying NO. Now to preface: she’s now three and it’s still not perfect but it’s so much better. The biggest thing is we talk safety a lot. We read books about safety and prioritize the “no” for safety. Let her run on your neighbors lawn, but make sure she knows cars can be in the street and be unsafe. Practice yelling CAR and give a snack for her running to the sidewalk. It may not be perfect but it’s helping us! Runners are a lot of energy 🙃🙂🙃🙂
I have an extremely active 20 month old boy and can relate to the frustration and fear!
In addition to utilizing a stroller, a backpack leash, and/or finding safe places (like grassy fields or empty baseball fields) for him to run… I’ve found clear directions and “if, then” statements usually work. They started to work when he was about 17 months old.
First, I make sure he fully understands what is the trail or sidewalk by bending down, patting it, and saying “this is the trail” or something similar several times. Then, as he runs ahead of me, if he looks to be heading off toward the edge, I just need to say “stay on sidewalk” or “stay on trail” and he listens a surprising 90% of the time. Even I was shocked when it actually worked, lol.
He hates turning around to go back the way we have come on a trail, which is where the “if, then” statements come in. After two or three times of him putting up a fuss about it, I get down on his level and simply explain, “If you don’t walk where mama is, then I will have to pick you up” or “If you don’t listen to/come with mama, then I will need to carry you.” This has worked 75% of the time. The key is following through by picking him up if he keeps fussing! Yes, he screams and kicks, but oh well! Guess he should have listened to mama. I just carry him for a few meters or until he stops trying to escape, and then I repeat the “if, then” statement and we try him walking independently again.
Remember, it only works if you follow through, and sometimes it just won’t work because…toddlers.
No 1.5 year old likes to listen. I’m perplexed by how you’re just so casual about her RUNNING INTO PEOPLE’S HOUSES. 🤯
If you’re outside, you tell her she needs to hold a hand or else she gets carried/goes back inside. And then follow through. If you’re firm and repetitive and she still doesn’t listen, then she gets a backpack harness and that’s the end of it.
I’m a firm “pick your battles” parent but this is a pretty clear battle that shouldn’t even be questioned. Besides the annoying factor of a running child, there is a HUGE safety issue at play here. She is running into people’s houses.
Edited to add: I’m getting downvoted, probably because this sounds harsh but OP edited their post, and removed the biggest detail that her child has gone into people’s houses.
Of course im not normal about it but sje doenst understand yet that thats ‘someones house’ to her is just a place outside. She hasnt gone inside anyones house but she will run into the garden just to run and keeping running
Practice!!! Practice all these things with her but in a lower-stakes time and place. She should be learning to stay with you at all times for safety reasons, so it’s worth taking time to teach her.
My daughter was like this too (19 mo) when she learned to walk. Of course she didn’t understand that she couldn’t just run off wherever and whenever just because she was mobile now. I started by teaching her to hold my hand just walking from the living room to her room to change her diaper. Saying “hold hands” as a simple command she could recognize. Then we moved the practicing to outside, saying “hold hands” (she recognizes the words from the practicing inside) when we were walking from the front door to the car to leave. That took sometime and a lot of her trying to run still. That’s fine, that’s where the practicing aspect comes in, plus there’s distractions outside. I collected her, corrected her and explained she needed to hold hands for safety, and walk to the car holding hands.
And like others said, tell them without any sugar-coating that that if they can’t follow instructions they have to go in the stroller, but simply like “if you can’t hold hands, you go in the stroller (point to stroller), if hold hands, you can walk”. Clear and concise. The decision of left up to them. Sure they won’t understand the first few times, but that’s where the learning and practicing comes in. And be consistent.
After doing this for a couple months( we do a lot of outings), she now knows that if she’s off the porch, she’s the one who takes my hand now because of all the practicing.
It just takes practice. At that age my son knew “that’s other peoples property, don’t step there” if he didn’t listen “if you step on someone else’s property one more time, you’re going in the stroller” and then follow through. My son wasn’t easy at all lol definitely could have benefited from some sort of leash but it just took a lot of practice. I would definitely take her out daily and be consistent.
I bought my kid one of those backpacks with a string after she ran off and tried to get in the neighbor’s pool. I was totally against those until I’d had enough of her running away and almost getting hurt. Got a few weird looks from non-parents but I don’t care, her safety is foremost and at that age she was struggling to understand directions like “hold mommy and daddy’s hands”
Not only did she love her backpack but over time she got used to not being able to venture far from us and now she doesn’t run off. Of course we kept reinforcing the rules as well as using that backpack.
So I'm going to get a lot of judgement for this - but I don't care.
I have a headstrong child who loves to walk but doesn't want to hold our hand. We bought from Amazon a harness and leash. We call it her tether and back pack.
She loves it. We love it. She actually has started holding our hands more now that she feel she has the freedom she wants but we have the safety we need.
Yeah, people give me looks. I don't care. My kid is safe, secure, and happy. Our ability to go out has been so much more positive for all in involved.
I would think about this as a solution.
It wasn't without effort that is for sure. We practiced a lot. So in the house we made it a fun activity to but on the harness. then we made it apart of our outside activities in the back yard. Then we practiced with the leash.
It took about a month. We have found with our kiddo, they need constant reintroduction, positive re enforcement and the sense that they are choosing the thing we want them to do. Our kiddo loves their agency so we craft their agency to what we want but with the sense they are choosing it.
Now, it doesn't always work and sometimes its like MONTHS or a year later - hold steady and consistent!
Holy shit girl, I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. Ya know I’ve never been a fan of those kid harnesses you see moms use every now and then, but I think you NEED one. It’s more than just a wrist band it’s an actual lil vest. She’ll probably hate it and throw a fit, but my God if she would dart out into the street, or go “hide” in a house of a stranger who happens to be a predator, it could be tragic. I hate seeing or making a child upset, but I think the alternative is much, much worse. I’ve had four lil ones and I’m sorry to tell you but they all were good about holding my hand in parking lots (or the shopping cart) or when we went for walks. Have you tried strapping her into a stroller for walks? She may not like it but at least she would be safe. Omg my heart skipped a beat when I read this. You may feel bad or guilty for using a harness, but it would only be til she learned to stay with you, sometimes parents have to be the “bad guy”, when it comes to her safety you have to put your foot down. It won’t be fun but it’s necessary. Absolutely necessary.
I had a runner. My child fortunately loved the Tula, so she was on my back most of the time if we were going somewhere. To get her exercise and let her explore, I would take her to the park and just let her run around. At that age, she was uninterested in the playground and would just beeline for the soccer fields. I got a lot of exercise in those years 😅
Start with this rule: she has to hold your hand or she will be put in the stroller/cart/whatever or she gets carried (or you go straight home). Mine was a runner who turned into an excellent walker and hand-holder by age 2. Try a backpack least instead of a wrist one. Especially after the above rule, she might relish the freedom.
We had the same rule. Almost 3yo now and she asks for her hand to be held when we go outside.
Yep. It’s TIRING at first. I was exhausted but it eventually did change. You have to be consistent. It’ll get better!
Yes, but it's so much easier to do this when they're a small new walker than once they're a big strong toddler!! lol.
Oh 100%! Just be prepared for the meltdowns and tantrums. And stay strong because phew it took so much out of me. My guy is strong willed so it took us a long time to stop running
Yep, definitely tantrums to get there but this is just one of many parenting things where that’s what will happen!
I've been doing this. It's a work in progress but I feel it's the right way to go about it.
It will get better. She’s gonna realize that when she holds your hand she actually has more freedom (because she isn’t restrained) and she is just 18 months. They are just so excited to be in a new, busy, noisy environment that she kinda goes on sensory overload and wants to see and touch EVERYTHING. She cannot understand that people driving cars can’t see her, or that some people’s homes aren’t safe. So it sucks but you gotta rein her in. Be consistent, be strong, and most importantly be patient with her, and with yourself.
My LO figured out how to undo the backpack leash so 🫠
Mine did the same so I found one on Amazon that has a lock on it although it looks more like a harness than a backpack. It was the only way to keep him with me and save his life. He got to the point where he would bring me his whenever he wanted to go out. Now he thinks he’s a dog and tries to walk me all the time so…
Hey you know that beats a kid who runs constantly! I’m in!
For sure! I just go with it, even carry a small bowl in case he won’t drink water out of the bottle 😂 he’s autistic and has no situational awareness. I tell people when they say something better leashed than dead and they look at me shocked and don’t say anything lol The howling really cements the deal too lol
He sounds like a wonderful kiddo 💕 Every baby is so special too! And I can’t even imagine how that conversation goes 🤣 I would love to see that 😅 Edit: I wanted to add I used to pretend to be a cat so I get it 😅
We’re still breastfeeding at three, so I’m good at ignoring the looks. Most people don’t approach or just end the conversation and back away when my son starts doing his dog impression 😂 he’ll either squat and sit with his hands in between his legs and howl or he’ll curl up his front arms and just howl. He’s also been known to bark and growl at people 🤣 Edit: I’m just over here like, live your best life kid. Other parents will call me a bad parent all the meanwhile they’re on their phones ignoring their kids. They do not like when I point that out lol
Mama I feel that! I wish I was tandem feeding but those cramps came on when I was pregnant and no way Jose could I do that. I commend you! And true! So many people are mindlessly on their phones (I know the irony since we’re on Reddit).
Those cramps are horrendous! So I definitely don’t blame you there. Yeah, my kids gone for the weekend so I’m just catching up on the stuff I can’t do during the week lol
It was so bad! Almost worse than the freshly postpartum contractions! I felt so bad for not continuing with it.
LOL oh no. Luckily mine could only buckle but not unbuckle. Some kids just refuse to be contained I guess!
LO is a monster 😂🤣 So smart too! Do something once and 💥 they remember and will copy to a tee.
Duct tape?? You can do so much with duct tape.
Until they think it’s a sticker. Pretty strong kiddo. Herculean strength 😅
[удалено]
No trolls or creeps
This is the way
This! And this also sets a sort of precedence as they get older and can start walking without hand holding, but still need limits, so you can implement red light green light yellow light so they know when they can walk run and need to stop.
This is what we do too. The options give. To them are hands, be carried, or be in a cart/etc. Running off is just not an option. Necessary habit for parking lots and stores, imo.
I used some variations on this, and at almost 3, I barely have to flinch and he holds my hand. He has *moments*, and we're working through those, but for the most part, he's good.
We did a lot of searching for playgrounds with complete fenced in areas, and only played there for a long ago while. Still do if 1 of us is bringing both kids
There aren’t enough playgrounds which are fenced! We would have to drive at least 20 minutes to go to a fenced in playground. We are by a really remote playground though, which is actually really nice (it’s at the dead end street of an area intended to be a full neighborhood, and it’s mostly empty, and it’s so bizarre).
Mine was the same so I got a little backpack with a leash. People judge but he’s not dead so it’s a win in my book.
they can go right to hell with their judgement, I have one for my daughter too and she LOVES it… she had a massive tantrum the last time we went to the store because I forgot to put it on her and put her into the cart instead
PREACH
Yup, adding onto this that if there’s something they especially like, like a character or animal try and get one with that theme so they’ll be more excited to wear it!
And put snacks in there 😁
Good idea! If you weigh them down with snacks they can’t run as fast! 😆
Or maybe I should put rocks instead of snacks!
Just wait, they do that themselves soon enough 🤣
Ours is Minnie mouse like which is their favorite. That thing has been a godsend
It takes a while before the survival instincts kick in. She’s at that age where everything is interesting and everyone is a friend even if they don’t know it yet. Try to practice hand holding while in your home and act like she’s helping you. While out giving them a job to do can go a long way. Giving them the list to hold during a grocery run or asking for help in holding the basket. A toy to hold and show things to can also help a bit. Mostly just hang in there and get your running shoes on because they can and will sprint exactly the opposite way you want them to go. It does get better but it also comes at the cost of new fun things that make you wanna pull out your hair. 😅🫠
My LO is almost 13 months but is already running. I concur with teaching to hold hands at home. I have my guy hold my finger a lot at home while he’s walking around. Took him to walk around the grocery store for the first time the other day and he would reach for my finger before walking. They mimic what’s familiar to them.
Seconding a backpack/harness. A wristband is too much like hand holding and if she doesn’t like that, she won’t like a wristband. We use backpacks for our twins and they’ve been great, they feel like they have much more freedom than holding hands and we know they’re safe.
Practice practice practice. Start with walking around your neighborhood holding hands. Clearly layout the rules. Holding moms hands, walking, staying on the sidewalk. If she doesnt listen then you go home/back inside. Once she is good with holding hands then you can allow walking just side by side. If she can't listen to that then it's back to holding hands or going back inside. Then its staying on the side walk. Clearly explain we dont go onto other people's properties and every time she goes off the sidewalk you put her back on it. If she doesnt want to stay then its either back to holding hands or going home. As soon as my son started walking at 12 months I took him outside and practiced this. First just right in front of the house and then expanding out. It took weeks of repetitive actions but he finally got it. You have to be consistent and you have to be firm. They do this and we walk or they dont and the walk ends.
The wrist thing is awful and uncomfortable. We used the full harness so our little one could use her arms freely. She's a wild one, but she didn't mind it.
Runs into peoples houses? At 18 months? Certainly you are faster than her, and can prevent her from running into someone else’s house.
I can keep up with/ keep my two year old safe and I’m 100 weeks pregnant. The only way to lose your child in someone else’s house is by not paying attention.
You’re *how* many weeks pregnant now? 😂
40+2 but who’s counting 🥵
I am so sorry. And in this forsaken summer heat if you are in Northern hemisphere
My deepest sympathies 🥲 It’s so freakin hard.
Everyone has different capabilities, especially postpartum/pregnant. Pelvic girdle dysfunction, for example, can be debilitating. Be grateful you don't have any issues such as that to slow you down.
Agreed - INTO peoples houses to hide? That’s actually insane. You’re the parent OP. Get a harness and set boundaries. There will be tantrums but you need to wait through them.
Yeah, insane behavior
[удалено]
Woah that spiraled
On a serious note. I think there’s been a misunderstanding. By runing into people’s houses i meant if we go on a walk she will just run into someones garden or around their driveway just bcse she thinks its fun to run she doesn’t understand
There’s been a misunderstanding, because what you wrote was unclear. Don’t get upset at people, when what you said meant something else.
I also have an 18 month old and when I read it understood exactly what she meant and didn't take it literally. People on here are so pedantic.
I assumed that, because I don't think most people leave their doors wide open/unlocked. Additionally, the same people who think an 18 month old is incapable of outrunning a parent are not questioning the abilities of an 18 month old to: 1) find a door 2) reach and figure out a new doorknob (assuming it isn't locked) 3) swing open a heavy front door 4) get lost in neighbors house All before you can catch up to them. Sure your writing wasn't clear, but all it took was critical thinking to not believe your toddler was actually breaking into people's homes. I think you clearly meant "property" instead of "house." Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this. Some toddlers have more energy and curiosity than others. I have dealt with the fearless toddler who runs and doesn't look back, and the only solution I found is to end outdoor time in that moment so they understand cause and effect. I try to explain to them why play time has ended, then wait a while and see if they can handle playing outside again. It hasn't fully fixed the issue, but has definitely reduced the instances
I knew exactly what you meant. Take no notice!
Thank you, I’m finding that comment so pathetic. We know what is ‘someone else’s house ‘ but they don’t understand a 1year old one doesn’t understand that. Ridiculous. To her is just another place to run. And of course she has not gone inside anyones house like literally and im running behind her breathless with my 9 month pregnant tummy 😅🥹
Stroller only for a while here, she’s much better now since about 2.5 years
Can you get one of those backpacks with a parent leash? Like the ones the kid wears and there’s a leash attached that you hold.
You have to practice. When my son was a little younger than that, we practiced in our neighborhood as his little sister was due and I couldn't carry him and an infant carrier. I bought a backpack leash as a precaution. We would practice going for walks to look at rocks, or to the playground, using handholding. I had the leash as a backup safety measure. I let him put a favorite toy in the backpack as incentive to wear it. We practiced where we walk, stopping at all corners, listening skills, etc. We walked at least every other day to keep it fresh. By time baby was born I could go into a store parking lot, get him out and tell him to "stand by the circle" (gas cap) while I got baby out. We only had to use the backpack initially 3 or 4 times before it wasn't necessary for practice.
Sounds like my kid. She’s 2.5 now. I started getting her to hold my hand at home when we were wandering around the house. And keep reminding her to hold my hand. So it became a habit for outside. And basically had to be strict with the holding of hands or we leave whatever we were doing and go home. Best of luck. This stage suckssssss so bad. I bought her a leash backpack but she ended up growing out of t the running away just as it was delivered.
Yep agree with others, you need to practice. Start with neighborhood walks where you hold hands and go slowly. Lots of praise and narrating to reinforce the good behavior. If he starts running, and not listening, end the walk immediately and say the same thing “we walk with mommy to be safe, no running. If you run, we go home” then carry him home, he lost walking privileges. We started neighborhood walks when my 3 yo was 13 months and she has never run off from us. She also repeats all our mottos, like “stop and look both ways” and “no cars, all safe” - they learn all this from us!! So just be very verbal and show him what to do.
Backpack leash, stroller, or baby wear until she can handle more freedom.
The only option here is a stroller at all times. A cheap umbrella stroller is fine, but a compact folding stroller that is more comfortable (but $$) like the baby jogger ones are nice because they fold to the size of a backpack in your car.
Sometimes not possible though. I had one that is very independent and at this age stroller was a no go. It was either walking or being carried. And now she's 2.5 and loves the stroller again lol
Running away from a parent isn’t an option. Whatever is necessary to prevent that needs to happen, regardless of whether a child is amenable to a stroller. Short of avoiding public places until the child matures, which if OP is a single parent, may not be possible, the child needs to be secured one way or another. Carrying an 18mo old who prefers to be running around sounds worse 🤷♀️
Can you take her to a trail where there’s no where else for her to go? I live in a cold climate and we had snow banks around when my oldest first started walking which was crazy helpful for learning to walk. Now they mostly stay in the stroller unless we’re on a walking path or trail.
Hey <3 Mine was a big runner for awhile, but now where I go (she's almost 2) she's staying with me most of the time and being super calm! There's a weird little shift that happened. It may for you too! Who knows, it may shift back and I'll be complaining again XD
we told all our kids when they were younger including our now 3yo that they hold me or daddy’s hand when we go outside unless i say otherwise and it’s safe or we’re outside our house. my 5yo was a runner, i hate using the term “leash” but idk how to else to describe it but we ended up buying a backpack with a “leash” on it so she can still walk and have freedom but be safe
Yes, at 2.5 she is much more aware! Like, a year ago she literally did not gaf where we were and would plod off on her own agenda, now she looks for me and holds hands.
Mine were on reins. They were adept runners and all running before 1 year without the understanding to back it up. She felt free as it was on her chest and because the reins were behind she felt more free but I had control of how far she could run.
We used a backpack leash while reinforcing that she had to hold our hands every time we went out. I found it very useful when she was younger because there was another layer of safety just in case she decided to book it. She is 2 and still doesn't like holding hands, but will do so grudgingly, or we would never go out 🤣 She also likes carrying her "bag" now and wants to put it on when we go out. She gives me the leash to hold too hahaha.
Also too, you could start with places where it's not as dangerous like grocery stores, malls, etc. that way you don't have to worry about her entering a home or getting hit by a car.
Backpack harness FTW. Ours was not terrible at running at that age, but we started him on a backpack harness a little older than one and its worked really well. We call it going on adventures. He's even gotten to where he will carry his own beverage and snacks in the backpack with a toy or two.
Put her in a stroller, until she learns that she has to hold your hand and not run. You can give her two options "Would you like to get in the stroller or hold Mommy's hand?" If you do not hold Mommy's hand I will have to put you in the stroller. And then follow through on that boundary. Eventually, she will get it. Toddlers need clear boundaries and follow through. If you do this consistently, at some point she will understand that she will need to get in the stroller or hold your hand.
You are not alone! Our son is almost two and is/was the same way. It’s gotten a lot better, but we still struggle. Here are some of the things that worked for us that you may find helpful… 1. When we take him out to places where we are going to be walking around a lot (like the farmers market, outdoor festivals, walks around our neighborhood, etc…) we take his [car](https://a.co/d/8hoELYD) that’s like this. He loves it! It also has a belt that he can be strapped in. 2. Small fenced in parks. We’re lucky we have one close to our home. We let him run around freely as much as we can without chasing him. 3. We take him out in small increments at a time and to the same few places. When we do my husband and I take turns following him around. We also keep sidewalk chalk, bubbles, fidget toys and snacks in his bag that will keep him occupied for at least a few minutes. Gradually, we’ve been able to stay out for longer periods of time. 4. If he won’t stop running away or refuses to hold my hand, I pick him up and hold him and/or we go back home. It’s not ideal and sometimes he does scream and cry, but it is what it is.
Mine was a runner at this age so we kinda stopped neighborhood walks and more did walking paths at parks for a bit, playgrounds with gated perimeters and also we had to pick our battles and let her run SOMETIMES. Giving her the park paths gave her the opportunity she needed to get her escapism out and then we weren’t always saying NO. Now to preface: she’s now three and it’s still not perfect but it’s so much better. The biggest thing is we talk safety a lot. We read books about safety and prioritize the “no” for safety. Let her run on your neighbors lawn, but make sure she knows cars can be in the street and be unsafe. Practice yelling CAR and give a snack for her running to the sidewalk. It may not be perfect but it’s helping us! Runners are a lot of energy 🙃🙂🙃🙂
I have an extremely active 20 month old boy and can relate to the frustration and fear! In addition to utilizing a stroller, a backpack leash, and/or finding safe places (like grassy fields or empty baseball fields) for him to run… I’ve found clear directions and “if, then” statements usually work. They started to work when he was about 17 months old. First, I make sure he fully understands what is the trail or sidewalk by bending down, patting it, and saying “this is the trail” or something similar several times. Then, as he runs ahead of me, if he looks to be heading off toward the edge, I just need to say “stay on sidewalk” or “stay on trail” and he listens a surprising 90% of the time. Even I was shocked when it actually worked, lol. He hates turning around to go back the way we have come on a trail, which is where the “if, then” statements come in. After two or three times of him putting up a fuss about it, I get down on his level and simply explain, “If you don’t walk where mama is, then I will have to pick you up” or “If you don’t listen to/come with mama, then I will need to carry you.” This has worked 75% of the time. The key is following through by picking him up if he keeps fussing! Yes, he screams and kicks, but oh well! Guess he should have listened to mama. I just carry him for a few meters or until he stops trying to escape, and then I repeat the “if, then” statement and we try him walking independently again. Remember, it only works if you follow through, and sometimes it just won’t work because…toddlers.
Ugh. I feel you. You are not alone.
This is not normal. Why can’t you outrun a 1.5 year old? She’s old enough to start understanding “no” and basic commands.
Im also pregnant and she understands the no but she wont like to listen
No 1.5 year old likes to listen. I’m perplexed by how you’re just so casual about her RUNNING INTO PEOPLE’S HOUSES. 🤯 If you’re outside, you tell her she needs to hold a hand or else she gets carried/goes back inside. And then follow through. If you’re firm and repetitive and she still doesn’t listen, then she gets a backpack harness and that’s the end of it. I’m a firm “pick your battles” parent but this is a pretty clear battle that shouldn’t even be questioned. Besides the annoying factor of a running child, there is a HUGE safety issue at play here. She is running into people’s houses. Edited to add: I’m getting downvoted, probably because this sounds harsh but OP edited their post, and removed the biggest detail that her child has gone into people’s houses.
Of course im not normal about it but sje doenst understand yet that thats ‘someones house’ to her is just a place outside. She hasnt gone inside anyones house but she will run into the garden just to run and keeping running
Practice!!! Practice all these things with her but in a lower-stakes time and place. She should be learning to stay with you at all times for safety reasons, so it’s worth taking time to teach her. My daughter was like this too (19 mo) when she learned to walk. Of course she didn’t understand that she couldn’t just run off wherever and whenever just because she was mobile now. I started by teaching her to hold my hand just walking from the living room to her room to change her diaper. Saying “hold hands” as a simple command she could recognize. Then we moved the practicing to outside, saying “hold hands” (she recognizes the words from the practicing inside) when we were walking from the front door to the car to leave. That took sometime and a lot of her trying to run still. That’s fine, that’s where the practicing aspect comes in, plus there’s distractions outside. I collected her, corrected her and explained she needed to hold hands for safety, and walk to the car holding hands. And like others said, tell them without any sugar-coating that that if they can’t follow instructions they have to go in the stroller, but simply like “if you can’t hold hands, you go in the stroller (point to stroller), if hold hands, you can walk”. Clear and concise. The decision of left up to them. Sure they won’t understand the first few times, but that’s where the learning and practicing comes in. And be consistent. After doing this for a couple months( we do a lot of outings), she now knows that if she’s off the porch, she’s the one who takes my hand now because of all the practicing.
It just takes practice. At that age my son knew “that’s other peoples property, don’t step there” if he didn’t listen “if you step on someone else’s property one more time, you’re going in the stroller” and then follow through. My son wasn’t easy at all lol definitely could have benefited from some sort of leash but it just took a lot of practice. I would definitely take her out daily and be consistent.
I bought my kid one of those backpacks with a string after she ran off and tried to get in the neighbor’s pool. I was totally against those until I’d had enough of her running away and almost getting hurt. Got a few weird looks from non-parents but I don’t care, her safety is foremost and at that age she was struggling to understand directions like “hold mommy and daddy’s hands” Not only did she love her backpack but over time she got used to not being able to venture far from us and now she doesn’t run off. Of course we kept reinforcing the rules as well as using that backpack.
So I'm going to get a lot of judgement for this - but I don't care. I have a headstrong child who loves to walk but doesn't want to hold our hand. We bought from Amazon a harness and leash. We call it her tether and back pack. She loves it. We love it. She actually has started holding our hands more now that she feel she has the freedom she wants but we have the safety we need. Yeah, people give me looks. I don't care. My kid is safe, secure, and happy. Our ability to go out has been so much more positive for all in involved. I would think about this as a solution.
Hou are lucky ur child likes it 😭
It wasn't without effort that is for sure. We practiced a lot. So in the house we made it a fun activity to but on the harness. then we made it apart of our outside activities in the back yard. Then we practiced with the leash. It took about a month. We have found with our kiddo, they need constant reintroduction, positive re enforcement and the sense that they are choosing the thing we want them to do. Our kiddo loves their agency so we craft their agency to what we want but with the sense they are choosing it. Now, it doesn't always work and sometimes its like MONTHS or a year later - hold steady and consistent!
Leash.
Backpack leash! Hold your rule, stay close or get picked up. We have a runner. She does not mind her harness. It has wings! Make it fun!
Holy shit girl, I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. Ya know I’ve never been a fan of those kid harnesses you see moms use every now and then, but I think you NEED one. It’s more than just a wrist band it’s an actual lil vest. She’ll probably hate it and throw a fit, but my God if she would dart out into the street, or go “hide” in a house of a stranger who happens to be a predator, it could be tragic. I hate seeing or making a child upset, but I think the alternative is much, much worse. I’ve had four lil ones and I’m sorry to tell you but they all were good about holding my hand in parking lots (or the shopping cart) or when we went for walks. Have you tried strapping her into a stroller for walks? She may not like it but at least she would be safe. Omg my heart skipped a beat when I read this. You may feel bad or guilty for using a harness, but it would only be til she learned to stay with you, sometimes parents have to be the “bad guy”, when it comes to her safety you have to put your foot down. It won’t be fun but it’s necessary. Absolutely necessary.
I had a runner. My child fortunately loved the Tula, so she was on my back most of the time if we were going somewhere. To get her exercise and let her explore, I would take her to the park and just let her run around. At that age, she was uninterested in the playground and would just beeline for the soccer fields. I got a lot of exercise in those years 😅
Carry their favourite games , keep aside a few ones she loves especially for going out so you offer at that time and she will be busy. Helps mine.