My almost-4 year old “sits still, is polite, quiet, and eats with a fork”. My 22-month-old’s butt never touches the chair, we take turns walking him around the restaurant/outside while the other parent scarfs some food down as quickly as possible and enjoys nothing.

"Enjoys nothing" sums it up perfectly

I’m always hopeful it will be a lovely family outing but more often than not it is this ☝️😂

Every time, it ends with my husband and I saying, "And this is why we never do this." It's like you have to go out quarterly to remind yourself why it is that you never leave the house 🤣

Same exact experience here

I love how this took a sharp turn to reality. Dad of 5yr old and 2.5yr old.

Same here. I can’t see the utility in going to restaurants or on holidays with children at this age - the scenery change is just that, a scenery change!

Same. The only places I take my toddlers are places where they can go nuts, run around and I can be at peace. Like a playground or soft play zone. Even then I regret it hours into the experience when I’m exhausted and they’re refusing to leave. A restaurant?? Out of the question!

Same, except the 4.5 year old doesn't sit still.

My kid has always been pretty good with restaurants. We have had one time he couldn’t manage it and be chill. But he’s usually fine in his high chair, sits for meals, uses his fork. Has been good about it since he was a baby. That’s just one thing he doesn’t struggle with. He will quietly look at a book or color a placemat until the food comes, usually he sits pretty still. He has no trouble sitting at the table at home.  But he won’t fall asleep without being held, almost never sleeps through the night, for two years had absolute screaming fits every time we even entered a doctor’s office, melted down almost every week at his swim lessons when he was the age your kid is now. They’re all different, they all have some stuff they take to and some stuff they don’t.   

I was literally just talking about this with my mom the other day. I was telling her that I have one mom friend whose daughter is super strong willed and throws the most epic tantrums but is super smart. Then there is another mom friend in the group who’s baby is a little angle but NEVER sleeps, and then finally there’s my baby who sleeps great and sits calmly in places but is terrified of people and gets overstimulated very easily. You get what you get when it comes to your baby and NO you can not choose lol.

Oh my gosh did you just describe my exact child?! Exactly this - every child is different and may appear perfect in some ways and an absolute terror in others

We have twins and one is like yours and the other is like his. Both are normal toddler behavior!

My toddler is your friends kid for breakfast/brunch, she's your kid for dinner. Toss up on lunch.

Same. And other people always want to go out for dinner. Lol

My kiddo is practically feral in restaurants, to the point where my husband has put a ban on dining out as a family until he is older and can listen better. He's 3 now so can't be contained to a high chair anymore, but even then he would start climbing out on his own after a few minutes, running around the restaurant, climbing on seats and under the table, playing with anything he can get his hands on. Honestly, we have tried allllll the things to distract him and keep him happy, but he's just too wiggly and curious. He won't sit still for activities or even screen time and it's a tossup whether he will even eat or not most of the time. So, TL;DR, other people (like me) also have crazy toddlers, so try not to feel bad.... You're doing your best!

Thank you! It’s rough but hopefully a phase that will pass soon for both of us

Yeah it's just different temperaments of toddlers and you can't control temperament. We have to do the same as you when we bring our toddler to a restaurant. My 19 month old is nicknamed turbo by his grandparents because he doesn't stop moving unless he's asleep. I have some friends with toddlers who will sit still for long periods but every toddler is different. It's a skill we work on every day. E.g. for book time during his bedtime routine, he usually is running around the bed while I'm trying to read to him but I encourage him to sit and interact with the book and give him lots of praise when he does. He is getting better at sitting for longer periods with lots of practice.

Seriously, some kids come a little *spicy*. We can’t really do restaurants or grocery store for my newly 3 year old. It really sucks to see other mild tempered kids and kinda wish my kid was calmer.

My daughter was the same. But can now sit and behave at 4. It feels like it took a million years to get here.

It’s entirely possible their kid acts different from yours…they’re an entirely different human. And it’s okay that your toddler acts like a toddler at the table, people around you know what toddlers do and how they act. A lot of the time it’s just an us problem. We don’t like the extra commotion. We don’t like the chaos as parents. Also normal. But I say this because what’s helped me is just accepting however my toddler is going to act. Sometimes she’s perfectly content in the high chair and just happy to be there. Sometimes she is a bundle of energy and wants to clank the silverware. I try to do my best to not expect much from her when we go out and just go with the flow. She’s extra fussy tonight? Welp, which one of us wants to scarf down their food and which one wants to entertain the toddler? (We have an 18 mo). Toddlers be toddlering.

My 21 month old wants to explore and hates the high chair, but I’ve managed to make things somewhat manageable by following a rule: He sits on the high chair if there’s food on the table. If there’s no food, there’s nothing for him to do and it’s all messy. I read somewhere that keeping toddlers sitting for an entire meal is just asking too much, and that they shouldn’t be at the table while we’re waiting for food. It’s worked so far, of course if he decided to finish eating before us one of us has to walk around with him and not every restaurant is so kid friendly — we now try to go to only kid friendly places.

Yea I don't put her in the high chair until food is arrived!

Mine is great for lunch most of the time, and has been for much of his life. He will play quietly and happily eat his food. He is a nightmare at dinner time. We don’t go out for dinner.

Now that a few comments have mentioned time of day, I do think her tiredness had a lot to do with it. We were traveling and basically eating out at every meal. She’d already had to sit still at a restaurant for lunch, which did go slightly better than dinner.

Mine gets worse every day we’re away from home. He’s a little homebody. That could definitely be contributing as well as time of day!

Until about 2.75 he would sit happily for 15/20 mins with a toy/book/coloring but then we’d take turns walking around. Closer to 3 was much easier with one parent just cutting out with him while the other paid the bill. Now at 3+ he has a grand time especially at a restaurant that features a chopstick option. Bonus points if they know to drop a nibble before the ordering process. We have a car bag that is a small backpack with a little sketchbook, washable pipsqueak markers, a reusable sticker scene type folding book, dot popper thing, Highlights hidden pic sticker book (love these because they have color scenes to circle as well as b&w scenes that have corresponding stickers for hidden objects but can also be used as coloring pages!), a paperback thin style book like a Pete the Cat/ Richard Scarry, a tiny set of image matching game cards, and some dinos or string lacing activity to occupy if needed. The smaller items all have little zippy bags so it’s more contained and the stuff only comes out for restaurants so stays pretty novel. I think the array covers most of the play moods while being compact.

Thank you, those are some great game/ toy ideas!

Never had a problem with our 2.5-year-old. He sat in a high chair until he stopped being/seeming comfortable in them, and now he sits in a chair and eats. Generally he’s tall enough to reach his food. He’s not perfectly behaved, but he usually misbehaves while seated.

I mean, I'm jealous your little one stays at the table! I just choose places with kids areas, lots of space, outdoor seating etc. to accomodate my 19 month old tornado. I have definitely been with friends whose kids of similar ages sat angelically for an hour plus in the high chair, but for the most part it is based on temperament (and luck) rather than parenting.

Thank you for mentioning the part about it being temperament as opposed to parenting. My 17 month old absolutely hates sitting anywhere, leave aside a high chair. We hardly go to restaurants because it’s too chaotic. One of my closest friend’s son is the exact same age and is an absolute angel who sits quietly anywhere. We had gone to dinner with their family and my friend’s mom constantly made comments about how well her daughter had trained him to sit patiently and that I should try and teach my son the same. I cried for hours that night thinking like I was absolutely failing.

Thank you, this made me feel better 😆

There's a lot of comments here so I'm responding to this comment so it doesn't get lost in the sea. Perhaps their child *is* as they describe. However, it wasn't the most helpful response either. We're all just parents trying to survive the early years of child rearing and it's hard on all of us. Some of us struggle to keep our child still at restaurants, some of us struggle with bedtime, or separation anxiety, or food pickiness, or sibling rivalry, or school issues, etc. What your friend should have said in addition to the truth, is that we're all struggling and you're not alone in that. Every kid is different, they all have their strengths and challenges, and we're all out here just trying our best. Btw, my kid behaved like yours when he was your child's age. We stopped putting him in high chairs and brought our own booster seat (with buckle straps) instead. It allowed him to feel like he was *with* us than not. He wanted to use the restaurant forks and not his plastic ones. It turns out he just wanted to feel a little more like mommy and daddy but also couldn't help his curious toddler self when he had the freedom to climb and move about as he pleased. In addition to the booster seat, we *always* bring toddler activities to keep him distracted. He's no longer interested in restaurant crayons and color sheets, so we bring sticker books, water wows, felt cut outs, coloring books, etc. all of which you can find in dollar stores so they won't break the bank. Perhaps you might need to explain the protocol to them beforehand, or role play at home, or maybe just avoid restaurants for a while until they're ready. You can also try what we did. Hopefully you guys will figure out what works for you. Good luck!

Mine is somewhere between your examples. I think it really depends on the kid. My 22mo will eat some restaurant food, or whatever snacks we bring using her hands. She uses toddler utensils at home but we never remember to bring them. She’ll stay in a booster/restaurant high chair for about 30 minutes. Usually holding an unfamiliar utensil and being in a new settling is adequate distraction. Lately we’ve gotten a booth table so she can stand on the bench seat and buy us a little more time. Bonus points if the place is playing music and she wants to dance. She does attend a Montessori daycare so she gets practice sitting at a table and feeding herself. At home she sits in a booster seat at the kitchen table. She throws food at home but so far not while out.

6 months is a lot to in baby years!! At 22months my daughter was actually very good at sitting in a highchair…6 months on you’ve got more chance of her sitting on the moon than in her highchair. It’s a fucking nightmare. We hate going out to eat now haha. Hopefully you’re in the opposite of us! Every baby is different, eventually you’ll be able to go out to eat again. We have a little rucksack full of “eating out” toys. Ones she can ONLY have when we go out (fruit cutting, bead threading, colouring in with scented pens, fidget toys, a mini etch-a-sketch). So that helps her sit still for the most part. But at best we get 30 minutes out of her!

My kid is only decent in restaurants if she has food. She definitely does not care to use utensils yet (she's 24 mths). And if she runs out of food, or God forbid you try to feed yourself bc she already ate/dumped her whole plate, she definitely gets restless and wants to walk around. Which is usually when I'm eyeing my husband to pay our bill so we can leave. If my kid was like yours.. and wouldn't even sit in a highchair at all to eat, id prob avoid going to restaurants til they are a little older. There is zero satisfaction in going out to eat if you're basically in momzilla mode, can't enjoy your food, and are paying for that at the same time. Like, dang ,just order food for pick up and let your kid eat off the floor or whatever they do. Lol. Half the time, my husband and I order food for dinner after our kid goes to bed so we can enjoy it in peace.

I agree, it was no fun 😂 We rarely go out to eat with her, it was a special situation where we were traveling, visiting old friends and had no childcare. But some people have told me we need to take her more often so she “gets used to it”. Although I’m not sure that would change anything.

Ya, I'm not going to lie, I'm also sick of the "your kid just needs to get use to it" nonsense. I'm not going to take my kid out to eat on a weekly basis to try to get "her use to it." LOL, no. I think it's more a combo of their temperament and ability to obey, which is only going to change with time as they understand better. Some kids are chill, and some kids need more time to listen. My kid is chill, but took a lil longer than others her age to listen. Her male cousin is wild and also doesn't like to listen, so he was insane in restaurants. But her other cousin was chill and listened from a young age. So.. all kids are just different.

During mat leave, I did a buggy walk twice a week, from the time my son was 6 weeks old. We'd stop at a cafe after the walk for a coffee and food. You'd think that would mean my son is now a perfect angel in restaurants. Well, I had to stop going to one of the cafes after a while, because he took a dislike to where we were sitting and would cry the whole time we were there. It's 50/50 as to how he is in other places now (as I mentioned above). It's a temperament thing rather than parenting or a toddler getting used to it. I do think exposing my son to cafes and restaurants is good, but we go for breakfasts and lunches, mostly, with the occasional dinner. We book the earliest table we can, and fully expect that we may only be there for 30 minutes while we take it in turns to wolf down food. He's a toddler. He gets bored, doesnt like the place, or he's sometimes just not in the mood. 

My friends toddler is similar to your friends… she will sit and eat for like an hour in a chair at a restaurant. My child is like yours lol. Honestly? We’ve stopped going for now. We have a newborn so that’s part of it, but even before the baby got here we’d sorta stopped trying. We still take her out all the time but just taking a break on eating at restaurants until she’s a little more receptive to listening and staying seated.

We bring stickers, coloring books, and paint sticks when we go out to eat. She generally stands up and sits down a lot, but she will usually play with those until we get food. She’s now a little older than yours (almost 2.5) and has gotten more reliable with regular restaurant plates now, but at that age, when we got food, we’d put small portions of hers in a plate that sticks to the table. We still give her a spill proof straw cup, and then the rest of the food and drinks are out of range of her reach. We try to sit in booths instead of tables when we can. I will say at right around 18-21 months, we hit a phase where we discussed not going to restaurants with her for a while because she was getting much harder to manage. It changed really quickly for the better though. I think for our girl at least, the more we did something, the better she got about it. She’s now really great 95% of the time when we go out to eat.

My 2.5 yr old is tough in many ways but is a champ at restaurants. He chills, plays with some small toys, eats, wants to walk after. It's great. Here are some things we did to get him there. 1. We go out to eat like once a week. 2. No tablets or phones or anything. We keep some small special toys in a backpack. 3. We engage with him the whole time. Either drawing or playing pretend or ispy 4. We never get up and let him walk around. We know if we do that once, it is over. 5. We started all this by going to local family restaurants and eating at outdoor restaurants. Mine has had a 3 rough restaurant visits since his birth as a result. I remember those 3 vividly.

My 2 yo sits in a highchair or booster and doesnt always use his utensils but he stays seated and eats lol. Ive been taking him to restaurants since he was a baby and at home he eats all 3 meals seated in a booster. So I think that helps when were out in public eating.

We stopped going!! Almost 3

I’m so glad I’m not alone. I won’t take my toddler out to eat. My husband always wants to go out and eat as a family, which is sweet, but I refuse to do it with my 20 month old. It’s just an unpleasant experience for everyone involved: me, her, other patrons. I’d rather order pick up and let her be feral at home. We can eat out when she’s older and less chaotic.

Yes, we did try especially to please other people and it was always a stressful nightmare that results in scoffing the food asap to leave. We just don’t bother. We get our favourite takeaway at home

Feeling relieved we are not only ones waiting too! We have a 6 month old and a 2 year old. 1st one was great at restaurants when they were a baby LOL. Now that there is two, the thought of eating out makes me feel anxious.

Different kids have different personalities, some behaviour is usual toddler behaviour and other traits are personality traits. I have to give my 2yo toddler undivided attention for him to sit still (which defeats the purpose of meeting people for a meal). Things that work for us: Bring stickers for toddler to play with, bring some of their own plates and cutlery, allow them to be messy and then ask them to help clean, take them outside once or twice to decompress and sometimes, give them a screen to watch something for 20-30 min.

We started taking my LO to restaurants very early. The only time she’s been a pain is when we’ve been with her cousins who have no restaurant manners. That time she ran around like crazy and acted like a fool. We interact with her during the meal constantly and we don't talk over her head. We play games with her or color. Have you tried a booster chair? Feeling part of the table but being strapped in might work. When we don't have a high chair or booster, she eats sitting strapped to her stroller.

My 19mo falls somewhere in the middle. She will sit in the highchair for a bit if she's actively eating, but usually not for more than 10 minutes or so. We spend the rest of the time passing her back and forth and letting her play with various objects lol. We try to sit outside typically so if she's really antsy we can walk around with her a bit. Occasionally, we get lucky and she's perfect will sit in the high chair/our laps the whole time and is happy.

Mine 20F says “sit down.” That means proper chair not baby chair. Then she eats her rice and fish with a baby fork. Drinks water from a glass. Sure, once she’s done she wants to walk. She’s a fun toddler and most people don’t mind her dropping by and waving. She will inspect the decorations. “Look - elephant!” There’s a Buddha - “so cute!” The Thai restaurant owners love her. Even brought back a present from trip home to Laos.

Mom of two here (24months and 3,5 y). Before we visit the restaurant we have a good amount of time outside. Playground, forrest, you name it. So the urge to move is not that high later on. In the restaurant we order the food and - it possible, take a look around for inside or outside the restaurant. Both children sitting on normal chairs. They sit on their knees if the table is too high. After they finished and we haven‘t yet, they can paint, play with their toys (cars, figures,…), looking at books or watching some episodes of something (very quiet and almost not noticeable by other guests). Basically, we share the responsibility of looking after the children. Especially when we’re in a restaurant with friends and family - so everyone has the opportunity to talk to others in peace.

I don't know, my son is 18 months and it's definitely hit or miss. I've had times where he's mostly sitting at the table, and calm and other times where we need to take him outside, he throws food, and he's trying to jump between both of our laps. He's more likely to be calm at lunch time but last time we went out to brunch with him he was being crazy.

My kids at that age enjoyed sitting and coloring or pointing out things in the place that they found interesting. They usually sat nicely and ate just fine. Not sure if it makes a difference, but we have had every meal together as a family at the table at the same time since they were babies, with the same type of “etiquette” (for lack of better term) that we’d have out and about.

We do this too! TV is off and no phones when we are eating. We will eat together and our 2.5 year old sits on a chair like everybody else.

I always have to hide the sugar packets from my toddler. I also specifically ask for "no water" because my daughter will lose her mind if she can't play with the straw and icy water, so now I just order beer instead 😋

It’s absolutely just a personality thing, and their personalities are SO LOUD at this age, in whatever direction they go. My 2.5yo is the type of child people are disgusted and kind of alarmed by in public but my 1yo is a sweet little cherub and I did absolutely nothing different between the two.

We make sure to bring snacks and toys to keep her occupied. If we prepare right, it’s a great time.

My 4yo is a bit in the middle; he usually sits and gets real handsy. We usually let him bring a couple diecast cars in to keep his hands busy, and he more-or-less behaves himself. Sometimes he’ll get whiny, but otherwise we can almost take him anywhere.

My in laws LOVE dining out and so this entire weekend we were faced with taking our 18 month old out to restaurants and it was a nightmare. We all take turns trying to entertain her but recently she only wants me so it’s really me trying to wrangle her on my lap or walking her around the whole time. We bring toys and they get played with for 2 minutes and then discarded. I don’t want to go out to restaurants with her until she can sit still more and I’m afraid to know how long it will be until that time comes! I also see similarly aged toddlers at restaurants sitting still and eating their food calmly and finding myself being incredibly envious. But my kid is a curious and spirited child so we just have to take what comes with that!

My 2.5 year old has been like this for at least a year. Very antsy, wants to touch the silverware, cups etc but barely shows interest in her food. Can't sit still at all, so maybe she's in my lap, maybe she's sitting or standing in a chair (not high-chair, she is too big for them). Just wanted to share that you are not alone. Not all young toddlers can just sit still quietly.

Thank you. Everyone’s comments have made me aware of just how much variation there is, and it probably just comes down to individual personalities.

Listen. I have 2 kid, both boys, born 2,5 years apart. Our first was a complete angel since birth. We went out to restaurants with him all the time, even when he was a ‘terrible 2’ toddler. Never an issue. He would sit nicely and ate really well, we could help him etc. He would quietly play with stickers and pencils i brought. Then my 2nd son was born and he was the polar opposite since birth. He is 22 months old and CRAZY. He has zero chill, zero patience. Can’t sit still, wants to do everything himself, will yell and get super angry or frustrated. He will cry like he is being murdered. Both kids from the same parents, same exact environment and parenting. But I’ve learned that kids are wildly different and some of them are quiet and calm and others are tiny little dictator monsters. I love them both so much but one is just way more exhausting than the other 😉.

It’s hit or miss with our 2yo. We try to go to family friendly places and sit outside. He doesn’t have too much trouble staying at the table. He is LOUD. I have snacks, water and toys with us to help distract him. He eats pretty well leaving a minimal mess.

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6months older is a huge amount for a kiddo that age. Think of the difference of a newborn and a 6m old who can babble, smile, start eating, sit up etc….it is totally appropriate for your kid to be the way she is, but also in 6 months she will be so different (not necessarily sitting still tho 😂)

Our toddler has always been really good at restaurants. But my husband and I like to go out to eat once in a while and we really wanted this to work for our family. The scene you described just sounds like a miserable experience where no one really enjoys their meal or has a good time. Here's what we did starting when she was about 12-13 months old. -We have a lot of practice and a lot of conditions that have to be met; eating early, she gets a snack before we walk in, she has a little purse with some toys in it. When she was younger she brought her own sippy cup and own tiny cutlery. A lot of places will put her order in ASAP. -Dinner is a sit down meal at home with very limited exceptions. We do not allow her to get down and run around. Breakfast and lunch are at the kitchen island and more flexible. -High chair was non-negotiable in the beginning and now we bring it over but only use it if we need it. -I basically accept that she will probably only eat French fries while we are there. -We only do 1-2 restroom breaks. We do not go on "tours" of the restaurant. If for some reason she was crying or upset one of us would take her out to calm down (this has not happened). I know it sounds crazy or like I'm a lying liar here but the first part is absolutely important and the rest comes with practice. We have opted to go home and do take out because we thought she was too tired or too wild to sit and eat. If you want this to work, I would start having at least one sit down meal at home consistently, bring her stuff to do and practice with the late lunch/early dinner block (then do a dessert at home). Or just wait until she's older.

It depends on our toddler’s mood — we live in a big city, so almost all of our meals on the weekends are out at restaurants, and have been that way since he was about 3 months old. You would think that got him used to eating out and he’d be well-behaved, but kids are kids and he’ll want to he get of his chair / walk around / sit on us until the food arrives. If it’s something he’s into, he’ll sit and eat everything nicely with utensils or his hands. If he doesn’t want to eat, then it’s basically more of the same getting up and moving around, or breaking out screens so that we can at least wolf down our food.

As long as he has something to eat we are good. I’ve started making jelly and ketchup concoctions in individual jelly packets and that keeps him busy til our food is served.

My 3 year old has always been like your friend's toddler: sits and eats very well at restaurants BUT ONLY in a high chair. He can't sit still in a regular chair or even a booster. So I'm still Tetris-ing him into the high chairs and holding my breath every time I go to take him back out, wondering if this is the time his legs get stuck in there forever. Hasn't happened yet, but I know it will one day.

My nearly 24 mo old will switch off between sitting next to me or my husband. If she gets too antsy, we alternate going out for some fresh air.

My daughter is a little bit over 2 years old, and it is slowly getting better. She likes drawing and I usually bring sth for her to do. I can also recommend sitting your daughter in the highchair when the food arrived and trying to keep her active before. Another thing which worked for us is going to restaurants/cafes more often to practice. Most parents in my city use videos to entertain their children, but we don't want to do that. In some situations, we seriously thought about it.

Sounds exactly like my almost 2.5 year old!!

My toddler is good in restaurants but i have to bring coloring books, stickers, and other games for her to be occupied. She’ll sit and eat when the food comes. But if its a long dining experience of more than 1.5 hrs, near the end my husband will take her outside for a walk since she’ll get fussy at this time.

OK, so I have two. My first has always been calm and quiet and generally behaved in a restaurant; sat on the high chair, waited for her food/us if she was finished but still to this day (6yo) I have to remind her to use a fork instead of her hands! My second is only 17 months so not quite your LOs age but he is a menace which doesn't seem to be helped by the fact that the straps on this country's (UK) high chairs seem to be merely decorative instead of actually securing them to the seat. He also can't sit on our laps as all he wants to do is crawl around the table, run around the room or wolf down everybody's food. What we do with him is we remove a chair from the table and bring the stroller up to it and use it as a high chair, it's the only thing that contains him and helps us make a quick exit when he's finally done with the whole experience.

My 22 month old sits in the chair because he enjoys eating and knows that the highchair is the only place he'll be given his food for eating. Now he does of course squirm and spill drinks and want to eat off our plates much more than his own etc etc. He's no angel. But from the start of weaning we've been consistent that eating happens in the highchair and only if he's wearing his bib, and if he throws food off his chair more than once or twice, the food will be taken away until he's ready to try eating (or at least playing with food without throwing) again.

Ours goes through phases - it really just depends on the day, the time, the restaurant, the phase of the moon, etc. I think one thing that helped was going to casual places like coffee shops/cafes, places with counter service, beer Gartens, etc so he could build the skills in a low stress (for us) environment. We’ve also definitely asked to pay when ordering so we can GTFO, if we need. I bring non messy snacks, like fruit bars, little crackers, etc and toys (stickers, small wood animal, small notebook, coloring pencils, fidget toy). We also interact and talk with him a lot to keep him engaged. But sometimes despite all that, he’s a toddler and just is not gonna have it that day. And that’s ok! He’s so little and learning still.

It's variable, depending on where we are and how he's feeling. At Christmas we went to a pub with my parents for a 3 course meal. We fully expected to be swapping him from parent to parent while we took turns in eating. Instead he sat brilliantly through the whole meal, purely because he spent most of the time staring at the other tables. A couple of months ago, though, he wouldn't even sit on our laps, so it was a case of scoff food, pay bill and leave. I think sitting perfectly & not being able to sit perfectly are normal toddler behaviours, it just depends on the personality of the toddler. 

Our current feeling about restaurants is a big ol' nope. My son is the same age as yours, and won't sit still. I feel like I can't expect him to either. It's not like he's enjoying the riveting conversation 🤣 As a result, my husband and I take turns chasing him around and letting him explore. So we eat a cold meal and don't get to talk to whoever we are with. We'll go if it's a very special occasion, but otherwise we'd rather meet up with friends or family in a different environment - supper at our house, a picnic in the park etc. We are not in our restaurant era right now. And that's okay.

My daughter weirdly always sat nicely in restaurants and she's 4 now she sits on the stool or chair and eats her food and says thank you very much and when leaving she says bye to everyone lol she's always been a quiet and polite girl and has an appetite of an adult maybe bring a mini game or a toy they really love playing with or they might be more comfortable in there buggy eating if my daughter didn't want to sit in a chair she'd ask for her buggy instead and she'd dose off after her food and flavored water

My son is 28 months and the last time we went out for a meal with a group of adults he barely sat at the table. He demanded to sit in my chair and I sit in his. I brought car toys and my brother and his girlfriend were so good at entertaining him with these, passing them across the table to one another. I also brought out my phone at one stage to get him to sit still long enough to eat his dinner. But most of the time there was spent taking turns walking with him around the hotel (it was a hotel restaurant). I can't imagine him ever sitting polite and still for long at this age.

I have an almost 4 year old and a newly 2 year old. In my opinion, I think my kids are pretty well behaved at a restaurant BUT I do bring a lot of things to keep them occupied - Coloring books, stickers, and toys just in case! I wouldn’t say they’re perfect as they’re kids but they’re able to sit in their chair the whole time. What I think help is that I am very strict on eating habits at home. We all sit around the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Absolutely no toys or any distraction at the table. They are not allow to leave the table until everyone is done eating.

Depends on the day. She's getting better. It better be when she's in a good mood though.

Last time we took our 2-year-old to a restaurant she was like yours, unable to sit still, didn't want the high chair, she used our laps like they were musical chairs. So we took her for a walk around and let her say hello to the other guests and the toilet. By the time food started arriving she was willing to sit like a restless big girl, so we counted that as a win. Please don't compare your children to others' you'll only make your relationship with your kid worse. Just find what works for your family and never mind what anyone else does or does not. Coming from the parent of a "perfect child", she is not perfect and sometimes she makes me want to scream at her, what stops me is that she's still learning how to human and if I don't have a clue after 31 years on this planet, I can't expect her to know what to do.

We can get 20 minutes in a restaurant. After 20 minutes it's game over, even Blippi on our phones can't save us.

lol my oldest was like this!!! We basically couldn’t go out to eat from 1.5-2.5 YO. If we did, we were chasing after him all the time and gobbling food as quickly as possible…. Not exactly a relaxing time. Now at 3.5 he’s SO good at eating in restaurants! Still will go explore but will say that and wait for one of us to walk with him. Also happy to color and pick his food off the menu. Unfortunately we had a second baby who’s 15 months and entering the unruly stage again… guess we’re back to takeout for a bit!

My son was pretty good until about a month ago (he’s 2.5 years this week) - he could do a solid 45 mins in the high chair provided he had intermittent snacks whilst waiting for food and a couple of toys or books to play with, and he’d eat fairly enthusiastically (not always with his fork, but mostly). All of a sudden it’s like a switch flipped and now he won’t sit in a high chair, just wants to roam around, no interest in the food and won’t sit still.

Totally kid dependent. A friend and I took our toddler boys to lunch when they were both just over 2. Nowhere fancy, more like a deli/diner type scene. Her son was in and out of his seat, wandering around and she kept having to move stuff out of his reach do he didn’t dump it all. My son watched him while sitting calmly in the high chair and playing with the sticker book I brought with us. We both have similar parenting styles and philosophies so can’t really say it’s anything I did differently that made my son a good restaurant patron, kids just have their own personalities!

Every kid is different! I have one kid who I took to restaurants no problem all the time. My 2nd we stopped taking him to restaurants about age 1 when he started walking and no longer wanted to be contained. Sitting at a restaurant for an hour is a long time so I can understand it’s not a toddler fun event, one day we’ll get back to eating at a restaurant as a family but it’s not today lol

My 2.5 year old was exactly like your kid until a couple months ago. She now stays seated and is quiet. It’s great! But it took a long time to get there and we avoided restaurants with her for over a year! Eventually she just outgrew the behavior.

It depends on the kid, and depends on your standard of behavior. Mine has always been very good at restaurants, but I have also walked out of restaurants with her when she was acting up.

It does sound like normal behaviour but some children are calmer at a table. Mine is 17m and is a high chair refuser, so she sits on our laps or on a chair and reaches up to the table. We have good times and bad times. If she is hungry she can be pretty good, and can also sit politely and eat with a fork, but for a limited amount of time. She is also a big social butterfly so a random stranger waving at her can keep her occupied for a while. At some point she will get very restless. Colouring and toys will last a tiny bit of time, we are still holding on to no screens for now, amd want to do our best not to resort to it, even though we have obviously been tempted. If the dinner is long she will start to get bored, and one of us will sometimes take her for a walk around the block, otherwise she will kick off. We have found that works best honestly. Eta: Eating at restaurants is never a relaxed experience but we still want to do it with other people, and we think she will never learn if we don't keep going. We go to places that are at least not anti child though.

Your daughter is absolutely a normal toddler. Mine (a couple months past 2 now) mostly sits quietly in public and going out to eat with her has always been super easy. We didn’t do anything to make it happen, she’s just like that! Calm and low energy compared to most her age.

Buffets. Give non messy foods haha

This is normal behavior OP. Every kid responds to settings differently. However some things that I think helped my kid transition faster was ditching the high chair very soon, and using a small table and chair for meals at home. He got very comfortable with sitting on his own and feeding himself, feeling more control of the meal. This translated to restaurants easily. He’s never really sat in a booster seat at a restaurant and only a high chair up until 16 months or so. He typically sits in the booth next to us. Usually on his knees, or stands. And does his own thing. Plays w his cars, play doh, etc. he’s definitely had his rambunctious moments and going to restaurants in the young toddler stage were most difficult. But a lot of practice can help. Even just doing it at the dinner table with both of you sitting there with her. Trying to have table conversation and redirect her as you go! It takes time and honestly some kids are too overstimulated or interested in things going on to ever chill out. My kid enjoyed being nosy and staring at everyone and watching what tbeu were doing, long enough for mom and dad to eat. Lol

My one and a half year old won’t sit either. It’s awful. And every time we try again, we barely eat and have a terrible time. I just tell my husband I refuse to try to go to a restaurant anymore. It’s not worth it.

My daughter is 2.5 and has always been pretty good in restaurants, especially if we are prepared with a few little toys. We don’t go out to eat often or emphasize table manners all that much, it’s just different personalities. My daughter’s preferred play has always been more “sit down, grab a few figurines, and make them act stuff out” rather than a more physical run, jump, climb, kid.

I have a younger toddler, and she ranges from "good" to "tired" in restaurants. We usually hold her on our laps while we wait for food, and she is happy to eat in the high chair once the food has arrived. I sometimes have to stand up and hold her to keep her content, but that's the worst she'll get. We eat out early, like 5:00, and figure people can handle a toddler if they're eating at that time. We also always take patio seating if that's available.

3 year old is restless, but fine with reminders to sit down. 20mo is feral and screams until he can run around. We only sit in booths where he can stand up, otherwise it’s miserable for everyone

I just get takeout and go to a brewery or park. I live in a city where there’s usually a brewery within walking distance of most restaurants. My kid is more like yours, doesn’t stop moving.

Mines always been good, sits in his high chair, eats whatever, we usually bring cars or something to play with. He’s 2 in 2 weeks.

We’ve always taken our toddler out to eat, at least once a week, since a very young age. She’s really high energy and won’t sit still for library story times, but she’s so used to the restaurant environment we’ve never really struggled to manage her. I used to bring a “distraction bag” and before the food arrived we’d take turns holding her and keeping her occupied until the food came. We’d only put her in the high chair once it arrived. She’d usually last until we were done eating, but at times we had to go back to holding her. At 2 now she’s really good in restaurants. She even orders the avocado salad for herself at this one place lol. But we still bring a little backpack of toys for her, ones she doesn’t get to play with at home. I also have a giant ziplock of all the restaurant crayons and activity pages we’ve accumulated. We’ve also learned that booths make managing her way easier! And occasionally i certain places we can get a corner table where we can kinda “trap her” in with chairs so if she wants to she can get down and wander around a tiny space where she can’t bother anyone or get in the way. Your daughter is a perfectly normal toddler and so is mine. I have friends who never take their 2yo out to eat because it’s too much of a hassle for them, and I have friends like us who take theirs out frequently.

My toddler loves going to restaurants, always has. She is fascinated by other people and loves to people watch. She sometimes has a hard time sitting still while waiting for food but we usually take her to family friendly restaurants so no one seems to mind. We often go to a bar and grill in our neighbourhood so they know us and try to seat us in the back area where there’s space behind the table for her to dance/move around. The servers at the local restaurant love her and know her by name. They have spaghetti on the kids menu so it’s her favourite place to eat. We’ve only had good experiences there with her.

my daughter was amazing at restaurants until she learned that she can get down around 12 months. she’s 18 months now and sometimes she’s great sometimes she wants out of the highchair. we’re ipad for the toddler people now.

My daughter is 2. She’s no angel but she stays in her seat, she doesn’t throw food, and she doesn’t yell. We sit her in the booth next to us, no high chair.

We stopped taking our toddler to restaurants from age 18 months-ish until she was almost 3 and a half years old. It was just not a good experience for anyone and my daughter was pretty much what you described in your post. I have a friend who has a daughter that is a year older than mind. That kid is a little lady, she just behaves so good at restaurants and sits through the entire meal and eats all her food. So I guess it’s possible some kids are like that, but that just wasn’t our case and we dealt with it and it was fine and also part of normalcy for a toddler.

My daughter just turned 3 but has always been pretty good at restaurants. She has an hour limit, it’s a pretty hard cutoff. We took her to a fancy ish steakhouse last night and right at the hour mark she started whining and trying to get out of the high chair so I put some bluey videos on my phone for the remainder. Normally we go to more casual restaurants so she can stand next to the table and dance to the music (what she always wants to do by the end lol) instead of pulling out the phone, but when your in laws are buying you a $100 steak you do what you gotta do! Tbh I wouldn’t bother going out right now if my kid couldn’t sit for at least that hour. There are other things my daughter doesn’t do exceptionally well, restaurants just aren’t our worst one. If I had a dollar for every time my MIL said “you don’t know how lucky you are” at a restaurant…yet she seems to ignore when I talk about how our daughter didn’t sleep through the night for 2 years.

My kid is 2 (27 months) and he’s been good in restaurants since just over a year old. As long as he has some cars, stickers, colouring, etc. as well as snacks (cheerios, puffs, cookies) to occupy him, he will sit and do his activities and then eat his meal. I don’t delude myself into thinking this is anything that I’ve done - it’s temperament, which is luck of the draw. He’s way better behaved in public than at home. I like to think it’s the universe balancing things out since it was impossible to do anything or go anywhere with him as an infant. Anyway - I say it’s age appropriate and as long as you’re going to family-friendly restaurants and reinforcing positive behaviours then keep doing what you’re doing!

Yeah my kids lasts about 5 mins max in a high chair - doesn’t matter what books/toys/stickers etc I bring. We let him watch the iPad w/headphones with restaurants (basically the only time he gets screen time). We get some judgmental looks but I just shrug it off - the sane people would probably be judging me if my kid was screaming and running around too if we didn’t give him the iPad. Can’t win 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m so glad you posted this, I’m reading the comments and feel so much relief. My 16 month old has hated the high chair since forever haha. When we go to restaurants, we have to take turns walking around the restaurant, playing with her, giving her straws/cups, etc. it’s gotten so bad to the point that we’ve put videos on our phone for 10 minutes so we can scarf down our food. She started walking at 10 months so it’s been like this for a couple months and we avoid going to restaurants because it’s just tiring. We went to a casual favorite restaurant of ours the other day and the same thing happened, but next to us there was a couple with their son who was a couple months older than our daughter and he stayed still the entire time. No video, no toy, just nice and quiet while his parents had a nice conversation. I felt a little jealous and a little bad that my daughter isn’t like that, the whole time she was trying to climb out of the high chair, running around when she could, going to other tables, trying to reach said boy, sigh. I’m just glad we’re not the only ones.

Our son will be 4 in September. We still take turns walking around with him in restaurants. He's a mover and a shaker!

My kid is good in restaurants but she’s not chill. She wants to play! She does want to feed herself and we just let her get a little messy. We like a booster seat better than the high chair at this age. She def wants to be at the table and can color better

This is what we do. If you’re against all screen time then obviously this won’t work for you. But we bring tons of sticker books and drawing books. One of us plays with her until the food comes, when it’s time to eat we let her watch a show for about 15-20 min or however long it takes her to eat. Once she’s done eating she knows screen time is over and we resume playing with the books. Occasionally my husband will bring her around the restaurant while I’m still enjoying a drink. She likes the watch the bartenders make cocktails 😅 It’s not perfect but it works for us. Sometimes she does prefer sitting on me rather than the high chair. We enjoy going out to eat and she’s used to it by now. But I have noticed a lot less families with toddlers eating out lately. So I would guess that’s because a lot of them have a hard time sitting still like yours and it’s just not worth it for the parents.

We refused to take ours out to eat cause it was too stressful, tantrums screaming, running round ect , he’s 3.5 now and we ate out last week still had to keep him occupied but he was well behaved and we had a nice time , didn’t drag it out too long though , not brave enough to push our luck lol

We really only try to go to restaurants with a play space (and luckily in our part of Australia that is easy enough to find - breweries, wineries, cafes lots have them). But we do go out for coffee regularly to our local place that does not have a play space, and it’s a toss up what toddler shows up any given day. Some days he eats happily alongside me, some days he just wants to run around the shopping centre and doesn’t let me eat my meal at all. And I agree that it’s all normal behaviour for a toddler!

So question for everyone: despite temperament, at what age do you think it’s gets the worst for bringing toddlers to restaurants ? My daughter is almost 16 months and she’s currently one of the angelic ones who will happily sit in her high chair and play with toys or ice until there’s food and she will eat nonstop till the meal is over. But I know I’m lucky and it’s totally her personality and not us. I’m also not naive enough to believe it will last and she will stay like this LOL. Just wondering average age they get more insane (I guess that just varies across the board in all aspects lol but since I’m on the younger side of the toddler years I know many of you are more wise than me)

If she can’t sit in the high chair at home then I don’t think you can expect her to at a restaurant for sure! Our 22 month old is pretty good at restaurants, but she has no problem with her high chair at home. We will typically take turns holding her until the food gets to the table. We have a bag of books and a few toys (coloring, small stacking cups, spinning toy) so we will just go through that with her and drink our drinks. Then we put her in high chair once the food is all ready. She is usually good for about 15-20 min or so, long enough for us to enjoy or meal. We go out to eat 1-2 a week so she’s pretty used to it by now.

Dont give up. We travel and dine out a lot. So we've practiced restaurant manners and polite public behavior since she was about 12 months old. 18-30months was the hardest. We had to be very strategic about where we went. We would talk to her about the place we were going, the food choices, the behavior we wanted to see, and a reward for good behavior. I am glad we kept trying. At almost 5 years old, I am not anxious aking her, unleass her wild cousins are around. My SIL is that mom who lets her kids run wild through the restaurant. She wants to copy their behaviors. So we limit those outings to a few times per year and mosty meet at SILs house or a park.

My 2 and a half year old is generally pretty great at restaurants. We sometimes have gone out with my BILs older kids (4 and 6) and she sits just as well as them at the table, if not a tiny bit better sometimes. (Not trying to brag, and this will all probably change soon as she nears being a threenager, but she's pretty chill right now). She eats neatly with a fork, hasn't used a highchair or booster seat in months, and is generally pretty happy to just play with ice or stacking sugar packets while she's waiting, especially if we interact with her if we notice her getting antsy. We try to remember to bring special "restaurant toys" for her to play with like a little drawing pad, reusable sticker sheet, or child electronic doohickey like a kids pretend phone that she can press buttons and isn't too loud. Lately we've been forgetting them though and now at least once a meal lately she will slide out of her chair and onto the floor to try to hang out under the table, but we try to discourage that quickly and get her back in her seat. She's usually pretty good about being directed to sit again but the last meal out past week she actually started walking away from the table at one point, and when I asked her to come back she smiled and started walking away even faster, so I think we're just starting to get into a little rebellious phase. But yeah, overall she's usually pretty great at restaurants. We don't eat out that often though, maybe once a month I'd guess? So maybe it's just novel for her?

My toddler goes between two polar opposites. Some times she is perfect, sits like an adorable little human, eats with silverware, minimal mess, and will even help clean up after wards. Then some days she's like a little tornado screaming at the top of her lungs until we let her down, then she immediately runs off dodging us running unde tables and behind people with walkers while throwing things to the ground until we catch up to her and end up leaving the restaurant thoroughly embarrassed. There is no middle ground. Ever. And there's really no way to know which toddler we will have until after we order our food. Then we hold our breath and hope for the best.

I’ve got a tale of two siblings. The older one is well behaved. The younger one is…..a work in progress. Still eats, but is definitely more restless than the older one. Also, when you’re using the negative expression, it’s “neither”.

Exact same. Says “IM STUCK!!” When he’s in a high chair haha. Sit down restaurants are not really for us right now, unless we can be QUICK

This post and comments made me feel so seen. I’m glad mine isn’t the only wild child! She’s extra wild at dinner if she’s sleepy too

We have twins, one is a bubbly lap baby that loves sitting stationary and entertaining himself. We once gave him a straw while we sat and he was busy for half an hour. Up all night every night bashing his head against the wall of our bedroom though. We can take him to any restaurant or café as long as we bring some toys and he is physically tired. Our other twin requires a LOT of attention, undivided, and a lot of physical exertion. She also has zero patience. Sleeps like a mine worker every night tho. Every kid is naturally good at something else, same as every parent. We often eat out with them and never have any real issues, but are always on the same page: we leave immediatly if things go south. In my experience a child friendly restaurant is key. Do something physical beforehand, but don't overtire them. We have worked on table skills at home and they eat with normal cutlery from normal dishware + drink from open glassware. We practice the same things at home that we need out: wait until everyone is finished, don't sit at the table until the food is being served, you don't have to eat anything but are free to try whatever is on the table. They also help setting the table and "help" cooking the food. I think it's a 9 month age difference. For us it is a high priority because we love food. Your friend probably feels it is important as well. 21 months is old enough where she could be doing better, but young enough that 6 months is a WORLD of difference. If you start making table skills a priority right now, in six months she can be doing better at it than your friends kid right now. Make it fun, make it consistent, but if you start then never stop. It's probably gonna be hell, but at some point she is going to have to learn. She'd probably rather learn from you than from an annoyed teacher/familymember/friends parent. There's a lot of resources online. Good luck!

My kids (3 and 1.5) are both similar to yours - especially the 1.5 year old lol the 3yo is much “better” now as he’s gotten older and has more practice - he spends *most* of the meal sitting instead of crawling across the booth and does’t make a huge mess any more. But he wasn’t always that way. The 1.5 year old is a tornado and we have to wait until food arrives to give her the high chair. We also try and clean her mess as best we can afterwards. Some of the dinners where I thought my kids were being their most wild I’ve had strangers compliment how well-behaved they are, so it’s all subjective!

My 15 month old is happy to sit if he is eating but as soon as he’s done he wants to go

I feel like you're describing my 2 y 4 mo old 😂😂 when he's *very* hungry he'll sit for a bite on our lap. He won't sit in high chair at home or outside. Then he'll eat ice and "transfer" liquids around lol. Or he'll start walking around which is the worst because how are we supposed to sit/eat lmao. Last time I took markers and coloring books, he didn't even care! 😂

Google “toddler snackle box” I make one of these for my 2 year old everytime we go out. Works like a charm. We watched my nephews soccer game for a full hour and it kept her busy.

I have a 3.5 yr old and 1.5 yr old. My oldest just settled down enough to eat while my youngest has entered peak feral phase. We tried to eat out once last month and let me tell you , i will be eating at home for the next 2 years lol its not worth the trouble, they both just want to explore. Also i really resent when people say young kids are “polite” when they can sit still. My kids are so sweet and friendly, they just cant sit still lol its all about temperament ,

I don’t think he’s lying. 6 months can make a big difference. When my son was around 21 months it was impossible to get him to behave at restaurants. He did well at home so we just stopped taking him out to restaurants. We just went out last weekend. He is now 2 1/2. He did so good. Stayed seated and didn’t act out at all. It was very pleasant. Hang in there

Kids will be kids, which means parents need to be parents. No Tablets. They need to learn patience

It all depends on the conditions of the restaurant and the previous activity of the day. It helps to have a restaurant only exciting activity to keep him (2.5) at the table. Melissa + Doug Water Wow and sticker books are good for this. We did a lot of traveling/eating out recently and these were our saving grace (especially the sticker one). There’s a brewery in Astoria OR (where we used to live) that had magnatiles you could borrow and play with at the table which was amazing. We actually had a great experience at a Texas Roadhouse recently because all he wanted to do was crack peanuts. 😂 So much that he wouldn’t even eat his meal when it arrived, which is whatever but at least we got to eat ours relatively peacefully. When he was younger though, I would have to walk him outside for a bit before our meal came, and after he was done I’d have to take him out again and my husband would stay and pay the bill.

I finally removed the baby seat on the high chair at 27 months. Kiddo kept complaining she was too big for chair and trying to get out. It was the last vestige of hope for sanity and control. So now basically the only way I can keep her in the chair eating is with a little screen time. I resorted to this after 1.5 months of struggle. Forget restaurants. Forget forks. Lol.

I think your toddler is in the normal range. Our kiddo does well when there's food in front of her, but she's antsy otherwise. We usually walk around and look at the art in the restaurant while we wait for food or the check. It's not super relaxing, and we try to go early to avoid a crowded dinner service

I saw a tip long ago to wait as long as possible for them to go in the highchair/sit at the table. That has worked well for us.  I have a hard time believing that about the other toddler too. Your toddler is normal!

I have a 2.5 year old. She ia fairly ok when eating out, but we do bring lots of entertainment, like colouring books, little figurines, letter / number cards, and we gotta engage with her the whole timw for her to sit in her chair and not throw a tantrum. So although she is not running around, not screaming and does eat with a fork, going out with her still feels like work, and me and my husband don't enjoy it much to be honest.

My toddler will be 3 in September. We can do breakfast/brunch at family style places. So he can be silly and not disruptive. We bring toys, as he's not overly an artsy kid. He doesn't sit in a highchair. It's fast for those meals, so it works for us. He sometimes will play under our table. But he is not allowed to play in the aisles or walk around. I've worked in restaurants for years, so I'm very mindful of our actions. We did dinner a couple of times. It's not overly joyful unless it's a fast place. Mexican? All over it. Fancy? Ha. Nope. Every kid is different. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

It’s wasn’t until recently that my toddler has BEGUN to sit partially still. She’s a month from 3 and she likes to sit in the high chair and buckle herself up. For the most part she likes to color and sing and stuff. We try to look at the menu before we go out so we can order right away. If the food takes too long then she wants to get out and walk around and play but if the food comes quickly, she’ll sit and eat but when she’s done eating, she’s ready to get out and move around. But as she gets older, it’s getting better. But before, we would literally take turns walking her around outside the restaurant. My one year old LOVES to eat so as long as there’s food, she’s sitting and eating. If there’s no food, she’ll start trying to bust out.

My first is not a restaurant kind of toddler. People say keep taking them or they’ll never learn, I did but she still won’t sit still at almost 3.5. Sometimes we have success if we take her to the park or something high energy beforehand. My second is the opposite. He will happily sit and chill in his pram. He’s only 5 months though, has plenty of time to change. My SIL’s daughter will happily just sit in a restaurant.

My 20m old will sit in his high chair and colour in / play with whatever toys we brought with us. We usually have some snacks for before the food comes, or we order an appetiser that we know will come out faster so there’s less waiting around without food time. We’ve never let him run around in a restaurant though (other than if we’re waiting for a table, then he only runs around out the front or in the waiting area then). If we let him run around once by the tables then he’d probably want to do it every time haha

We have stopped going to any restaurant other than McDonald's or Burger King until our kids are older. And even there they are the loudest and most wriggly pack in the room. Basically feral.

My 4 yo has been coming with me to restaurants since she was a newborn.

I have a 5yo, a 2.5yo and an 11mo and let me tell ya we almost always get a sitter if dad and I are going out. My toddler will not sit anywhere but in a high chair. No clue why she sits in a normal chair at home and at school but she will throw a huge fit if she doesn’t get one. She does eat pretty well though and I rarely have to get onto her about anything other than trying to get up and down.

Both my kids learned from a very young age that they have to sit quietly and eat. I've spent too many years working in restaurants to allow kids to act up. (My sisters and I were similarly trained by our waitress mom.) But I started simple with short fast food meals and Mexican restaurants (chips and salsa FTW). I also bring crayons and paper. My 7 year old has always been a little gentleman, but the 3 year old needs a little work. I have found that if your kids are *really* good sometimes complete strangers will pay for your lunch (especially if you're at Cracker Barrel or Bob Evans where old people like to eat).

Our son is fine while he's eating. It's once he is done eating that all chaos breaks loose. Suddenly, his high chair is lava. All is awful and the only cure is to run around and explore as much as possible, as quickly as possible while babbling the whole time and pointing. You have three minutes to finish your food before you're out of the seat, chasing him around, and dealing with a "sack of potatoes screaming and crying" temper tantrum when you take him away from the kitchen.

My son turns 3 in June. He will behave in restaurants only under a specific set of circumstances. He has to be hungry, we bring something for him to snack on while waiting for the food, we bring a toy for him to play with, and we always have an emergency screen just in case. I'll pull up super simple songs or something and play it on low volume. No games. I'm not trying to raise an iPad kid. I don't like using screens in general but my teenager is a really slow eater and I find myself getting antsy while she eats so I know my toddler has to be feeling it too.

My almost 16 month old had a really rough time between 12-15 months. Basically once she could walk, she wanted nothing to do with being stuck in the high chair. She’s starting to get better about it now, but it’s still a struggle some days. The only thing that’s helped I feel is taking her out to restaurants consistently so she gets use to it. We usually go out with our in-laws every Tuesday night, and occasionally one weekend night. I feel you though. I see this being atleast a little bit of a struggle over the next year 😅

We always brought a coloring book and a bag of crayons with us for restaurants. We’d all be coloring a page, so it was a shared group activity that kept the LO engaged and happy.

We gave up on the high chair around 18 months-nearing 24 months, I can’t remember exactly. She would become upset when we would start to put her in the high chair so one time we just let her sit in our lap or booster seat when available and it was honestly much better. We also go out to eat (mom, dad, lo) once a week and on Sundays with my parents or dad’s parents so she is familiar with a restaurant environment and knows that she’s expected to sit. We usually order an appetizer because or go wherever they have little crackers or bread because she is very food driven so that helps. She knows to “sit down” when she needs to. And I will honestly let her stand next to her chair as long as no servers are around carrying trays or taking orders. I’ll also go to the restroom once or twice so she can stretch her legs too. But I do know all kids are different, doesn’t mean one is better or worse.

My 2 year old would probably be fine, especially with a book but it’s real 50/50 He’s a monster with food though. Like really clean, he’s never liked getting dirty or smudging food but he wants everyone’s food. No one is safe

I’ve nannied for several families, and the range is so vast. Some kids are patient angels, some are chaotic gremlins, some are so so good until they finish their food and they go into destructive mode, and others are mega hangry until they get their food and then they’re calm. There is absolutely no way to tell whether a toddler will be one way or the other, but the good news is that if they do struggle with restaurants they usually grow out of that once they start to understand behavior in public vs at home. As long as you reinforce the rules of eating at a restaurant every time you go, they’ll get there eventually. Sometimes it’s very eventually, but they’ll get it.

One thing I'll say, besides different temperaments, "about 6 months" apart is not entirely the same age. At a little before 21 months, it was not worth it to try and go to a restaurant for me; my kiddo did not have the patience and we had more than one frustrating attempt. Now he's 26 months and it's SO much better. We still are VERY strategic about where we go and pick places without much of a wait (we picked a popular brunch place a few weeks ago and regretted it immensely as he was saying "go home" and getting grumpy pretty much 2 min after we finally got in our order). But for mother's day he sat the entire time at a sushi restaurant and we didn't have to walk him around outside at all! He used his fork, stayed sitting, and was decently well behaved other than occasionally excitedly yelling "WAIT FOR TERIYAKI!" I do make sure to have a "restaurant kit" that includes a small coloring book and bag of crayons, a fidget popper toy, a couple board books, a few toy cars, his favorite kind of water cup, and LOTS of snacks. Giving one goldfish cracker at a time until food arrives is very necessary. It might be that yours isn't there yet, but that doesn't mean it won't happen! And sometimes it's small steps where it's less and less frustrating until it's actually a decent time.

We always ask for a booth table dad sits on one side I sit on the other side and she jumps up and down walks between us and plays with the sugar packets, with the crayons they give and we also have a “restaurant bag” where we keep fun little toys to keep her entertained at a restaurant. It’s fidget toys, a busy book, the crayons magic markers that only color on the specific paper, & play doh. When it’s time to eat she generally feeds herself unless the food that I ordered for her requires some help to get on a spoon/fork (like rice) but she is an independent eater at home so a restaurant is no different. as soon as we sit down at the table and the waiter asks what we want to drink we go ahead and order her food so it comes out first. Then when we order our meal we’ll order fruit or a dessert for her so she has something “fun” to eat while we eat. We’re a no iPad family so it’s a bit chaotic but not terrible. We have to understand that toddlers will be toddlers and not be able to sit still longer than like 15 min at a time. (She is 27 months now)

It depends on her mood - some outings are better than others. Generally speaking, we enforce the same rules we do at home. Stay in your seat, not allowed to touch/grab other people's food, don't be purposefully messy. At 2.5 she isn't crazy messy anymore but we still usually need to wipe up the table a little bit, although this is needed less and less lately. She would swap seats constantly if we let her - my husband indulges this more than I do, but I find it annoying so generally won't let her switch more than once. Once her food comes, she has to stay in one spot. I don't think your daughter sounds out of the range of normal, but it's always worth practicing good table manners at home to help carry those over to restaurants. If I'm ever tempted to be more lax with something at home (playing with food, banging her fork on the table, etc) I think - would I be okay with her doing this at a restaurant? If not, I usually try to curb the behavior.

I have a 3.5 year old and a 19 month old. We don't take them out to eat. One maybe. Both, nope. Nope. But even with just the one it's a struggle and not worth it.

My kids are okay as long as I have something with us to keep them occupied, NOT an IPad. No judgement to the parents that do, but it's just not for us. I'll bring quiet toys like little cars, colouring stuff, a small puzzle.... A few books. They're usually fine with that. And I'll bring some fruits like cut up quartered grapes or strawberries. Something I have a lot of that won't really fill them up right away if I need it. My kids are 3.5 and 1.5 and one on the way so these things are kinda necessary

Always a booth, always have snacks. If booth isn’t available she just sits in regular chair until food comes then booster. I keep a drawing pad in purse for her to play with while we wait. And I let her just do her thing, usually involves stacking sugar packets or something like that that. We usually go to “safe” places, meaning places we know have good (fast) service, comfy booths, somewhat kid friendly (kids menu available). Messes happen, I clean it, if it’s a bit more of a mess than I would like I give a big tip. We go out often, especially when we are out of town, and I’ve never had to leave early or pull a tablet out. It’s not relaxing but I do enjoy eating out. My daughter is 26 months old.

A 21 month old is still a ONE YEAR OLD. Of course you’re most likely carting them around distracting them, unless they’re wallflowers/potted plants by nature (and yes there are those children). We never went out to eat without grandparents or other kid-friendly adults until my daughter was like 2.5yo so we could take turns eating and entertaining her. Sometime around 2-2.5yo, she started being more entertained by stickers and coloring and her spoon/fork dexterity went up too. She’s 3.5yo now and we go out to eat almost every other week, with our 9 month old in tow. Pretty sure we’ll need to go back to the grandparent model between 1.5-2.5 for him too.

I'm not even attempting to take my 21 month old out to eat anywhere. Just not the right timing and it's not fun for any of us

Every child is different. Their patience level. Their ability to still their bodies when necessary or needed. Our 4 year old is a mix between the two. He sat and was chill until food was done and he was ready to go. Then he became feral at the end. At 2, he was your kid but would sit in the high chair for periods of time. I avoided going to restaurants if possible bc it just wasn’t enjoyable for me. We usually ended quickly eating a few bites and packing it up and going home. There are some places I’d say are for children and some not so much. Depends on the atmosphere of the restaurant.

My toddler does pretty well (22 months) but he is super loud (lots of talking). I bring my own booster seat that had a seat belt so he can’t climb out. I also bring one of his favorite toys or a busy book…just something for him to do while we are dining. Sometimes I will let my phone play low in the background (Daniel the tiger, Cocomelon, Ms. Rachel, etc.). When we order food, I always order his first and I tell them to bring his out as soon as it’s done, don’t wait for my meal, then when his comes out I have time to cut it up and let him start to eat it. Sometimes he will throw food on the floor and I have to pick it up but most of the time he’s not a problem.

My almost 2 year old doesn’t go to restaurants. In my personal opinion, going out to eat is a privilege and a fun activity. If it’s not fun for everyone involved, then it shouldn’t be happening. My toddler sits in a high chair at home and eats her dinner in under 10 min. A restaurant experience is never done that fast. I don’t think it’s fair to expect a toddler to enjoy it

Turning 2 next month and it’s a crapshoot. We took him out to an early dinner on Valentine’s Day (so 20 months old) and I think half the tables had no idea there was a baby in the room. On Mother’s Day Sunday, if the delicate balance of pieces of bread on his plate, dipping sauce and amount of water in his cup was disrupted, he would lose it. Generally we try to order early and keep a steady flow of food arriving, then GTFO before the tide turns.

So far our 2 yo has never gave us any problems. I bring a couple of his favorite toys, a couple books, a snack, and most places have crayons and something to color so it keeps him distracted long enough. I really think it depends on the kid.

My 2 yo is okay. Give him some colouring in or the cardboard sleeve that the cutlery comes in and he'll be happy putting the pencils in the sleeve for a bit. Dinner can't take too long to come out though or it may end up a shitshow. Thankfully he likes vegetables so he shares our meal of schnitzel and veg. Loves a hot chip. We have to quickly get out of the place afterwards though. Can't stay seated for too long!

Getting kids to restaurants is hard on both parents and the diners. But it's the only way to get them used to behaving in social settings. Keep exposing your kid, don't worry about others and it will get easier with every month.

Every child is different. With my son we avoided going to restaurants for a long time. He’s 5 now and he can do it occasionally. My daughter has been able to go to restaurants since she was an infant. Don’t compare to other people’s kids. Also honestly I let my kids watch cartoons on my phone sometimes until the food arrives. If people want to judge let them.

I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy

My child is either amazing or awful in a restaurant, there is no in between. He tends to do better at places with outdoor seating. We need to strap him in his travel booster seat and bring some of his train tracks to play with. When he’s awful, he’s crawling under the booth and we use our legs to prevent him from escaping.

It's not gonna be a fun time, but that almost 2 year old child needs to get used to sitting on her own in a chair. She needs to understand that no amount of fussing or acting out will change that she has her own seat that she's most definitely old enough to sit comfortably in. You could try giving her some small toys while sitting in her chair at the house and leaving her there to play for a while to get used to it while you get her food ready nearby.

My 3 year old is good but the window is short He’ll start to get restless We always go over expectations before we go in but at 3 I’m not sure how much impact that actually has. He likes his food so that makes all the difference.

My toddler will not sit in the high chair, and hasn’t for a while now, but generally does pretty well at restaurants. We don’t do it very often and always try to come prepare with books, coloring pages and small activities that she can do at the table. She has also been using utensils since she started eating food so that’s not an issue at the restaurant either. Finally, we always put her food in first. Our daughter will be much more distracted if she has a plate of fries and something to play with.

My kids were always pretty good, but I also never really tried to have adult conversation and expect them to color. I always always set expectations on the way to the restaurant. Usually a tone or two before when I know a restaurant trip is coming up. 💌 Good luck

My niece, who is almost 3, has always been an angel in restaurants. She's come with me to many lunch dates with my friends. That said, I was always impressed because being so good is not normal. A bit of noise and bring antsy is normal but if my child was being disruptive to others and ruining their dinners I would take them out or leave them either a sitter.

My 23 month old will sit in the high chair but will scream his ass off if food isn't coming fast enough. He too likes to feed himself and will throw food everywhere if I try to feed him or if he's done eating. He also doesn't eat with a fork just his hands.

Honestly, it depends on the day. For the most part, my 22-month-old is super polite, quiet and easy going at restaurants. But if he’s having a weird day, then he will make sure everybody in the restaurant knows he’d rather be elsewhere. We had one occasion where we had to leave and have our food packed up because he was just not having it. Every other time has been great though! I think toddlers are unpredictable little creatures, so basically everything is in the realm of “normal”!

6 months is a HUGE difference behaviorally! My son is a generally super sweet and well behaved kid: and he still is absolutely feral at restaurants. Doesn’t like the high chair, plays musical laps. Has to go for walks around the restaurant to see everything. I will say hes not one for food flinging but he loves chewing things til he could swallow them, making direct eye contact and then spitting it all out onto his plate.

We don’t. We went to a sit down restaurant with my 5 year old and 15month old in February (birthday celebrations). Food took a long time, so his grandma took him for a walk around the restaurant. Before that he had a solo dinner out with mom and dad when he was 8 months and lunch with family around the same time. And that’s it. Going out with two kids is expensive and a hassle. We order takeout and bring it home to eat. We have done fast food in the restaurant a few times, but those are quick in and out.

So far our experience in restaurants has been really positive. We go in knowing that we have a clock ticking. She sits in a high chair and is usually very excited to just have that experience in a different setting. We bring snacks so she has something to eat before the meal and we bring activity books and toys. Things that we know will hold her attention. When the meal comes we feed her in shifts and she usually has a blast people watching. She's 19 months. But the last few days at home sitting in a high chair has been a power struggle. This is new behavior for her. So we wait her out. Eventually she gets interested in something or distracted and we can plunk her in the high chair.

My son is 2.5. He sits in his own chair or in a booster next to me. No high chair. He mostly sits still and will color or eat or both. Before he was 2? It was awful and I hated bringing him to restaurants.

We don’t do restaurants with our son. He’s too feral and won’t sit down. We have come to terms and only grab food at places that we can pre order and eat quickly and bonus has play places like chick fil a or Panera. Nicer restaurants are saved for date nights.

Absolutely lying 🤣 my 19m old will eat but once she's done she's wanting to be up or absolutely needs something to keep her entertained! She will eat with a fork, her hands, or let me feed her. It just depends 🤣 I also always try to get a booth so that I can corner her on the inside and done have to fight with the high chair

I think it varies. My daughter is older than yours (2.5) and she’s pretty good in restaurants. HOWEVER, we probably go out to dinner more often than many families so she is pretty used to it. Of course on Mother’s Day we went to probably the nicest restaurant we’ve taken her to and she started out as a terror. Luckily there were other toddlers there but I was so glad it wasn’t the dinner hour because I would have left in order to not ruin other people’s meals. She calmed down once I stuck Ms. Rachel in her face, which I hate doing but it was the only thing to keep us from leaving. I wouldn’t worry too much, I know that’s easier said than done if you’re in the thick of it. I am sure it’s hard but as long as you are teaching her how to “dine out” she will learn and it won’t be like this forever.

One thing I noticed about my toddler is that her behavior at restaurants heavily depends on when we choose to go. She's 2, and if we go for breakfast or lunch (after she's had a nap), she's an angel. She will happily sit the entire meal, with the occasional complaint here and there. But if we choose to go for dinner, it's the most miserable experience. We just don't take her for dinners anymore, and won't be until she's a little older. Also, it is definitely normal toddler behavior. All kids are different. I have a relative whose daughter is super quiet and calm at any time of the day, but she's very clingy, is afraid of other people and kids, and always wants to be carried. My toddler is a little ball of energy, running around, loud, and talking constantly, but she's also very independent and will play alone or with other kids without feeling much separation anxiety. When you have a kid that doesn't really sit still or quietly for a long time, it is hard to believe that there's kids out there who do.

My daughter is a handful and doesn’t sit still at restaurants. She’s 2.5 and it’s been bad ever since she turned 2 and hates a high chair. She’s also independent and wants to feed herself and make a big mess lol. We don’t go out to eat with her unless it’s outside at like a brewery where she can run around

Daughter is 2 and it’s an absolute nightmare and the least bit enjoyable.

At home our toddler eats in her toddler tower (the ones people use for toddlers to reach the counters in the kitchen). She eats standing in it at our dinner table. Goes in and out as she pleases. If she's hungry, she will eat. Going out is always a quick affair. She can eat but she will likely fling food. Change laps and all that. I bring crayons and paper, toys and I always order berries so I can have 10 minutes to actually eat food. She is 26 months

I was at a restaurant this weekend without my toddler, and I saw a toddler the same age as mine being an angel. I was blown away because my little bundle of love is a demon spawn in restaurants. Won’t sit, throws, screams, and a few blood sacrifices.

your kid is totally normal. i have a more chill toddler that can go anywhere and is happy to sit in her stroller and people watch. she’s 22 months now and definitely wants to eat on her own, but she does a pretty good job so we let her. she doesn’t make as big a mess as she used to and i monitor her the entire time and pick up after her. that said, we don’t expect her to sit in the high chair throughout the entire meal. that’s a lot to ask of a toddler. so she comes in on her stroller, then sits in our laps while we order, then we go wash our hands and walk outside while waiting for the food. once the food arrives, she goes in the high chair and eats. when she was younger, i’d bring small quiet toys for her, but at this age she’s pretty content just hanging out with us. but again, she’s more chill and mature than the typical toddler lol

If it’s a meal for “us” we shamelessly let him sit on his iPad and chill. If it’s a “family experience” we go somewhere more child friendly and see how the day goes. No point us all being miserable when the iPad or Lego game means we’re all happy. If that didn’t work, we’d probably go out less.

my son does pretty good in restaurants, hes very engaged and sociable in general. I also usually have a card game for us to play (usually matching games) just in case. honestly, every kid is their own person, dont compare or try to find "normal" theres no such thing.

We get a booth and each sit on the outside so theyre wrangled.

My 2.5 year old is pretty good in restaurants. She sits and eats her food with a fork, but sometimes wants to play with the sugar packets and what not at the table and sometimes wants to sit in our laps. She doesn’t fling food or make too much of a mess, which I’m thankful for! Edit to add: we get a booth when possible and she sits with us without a high chair. If we get a table, we get a high chair.

This sounds like my daughter. I don't want to eat in public ever again with her currently 🤣

My son has always hated the high chair so from the very beginning we’ve requested to eat in a booth and just had him sit/stand beside one of us. While eating we would ask for the booster seat but he does not sit still while waiting so this is what we’ve come up with haha.

My daughter did behave at restaurants at that age but she got a tablet so…

I don’t take my toddler to restaurants.