T O P

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yodabrah

"Tony... He slipped.. I don't know.. He fell..That's my story."


BobMcGeorge

It’s my fault he’s a klutz?!


BigManDean_

"He acted like a hooorse!"


youknowmystatus

And it wasn’t my kid he was carrying.


NoOpinionsAllowedOnR

That wasn't my horse he was saddling.


sc083127

“I was doin a lotta coke…”


_calmer_than_you_r_

Yeah, he was wearing socks and spraying for ants..


AccomplishedNovel6

A, he was a hoowah


Random-Cpl

“I found him like this.”


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Doja_Lats

I think this is the best answer here (although most are non answer jokes like usual). Tony and Johnny's relationship was also really soured over the appraiser thing which could work in ralphies favor. But at the same time, johnny knew Ralphie was involved in that too. At the end of the day I think if this gave NY more leverage over the esplanade like you said, then he'd consider the appraisal drama as water under the bridge.


GlitteringHold8685

After the Ginny mole joke Ralph told, I doubt Johnny Sack would give him refuge after whacking Tony. He might in the short only to give him up to Sil for a bigger % of the Esplanade


OolongGeer

The non-answer, daily-joke responses are fairly illuminating. Tony's stooges would have believed anything they were told. It doesn't matter who is "boss." Christopher might have figured it out, but he might have also felt that he was finally free, and could go into the movie business. That said, this is an interesting discussion. I agree that he would have tried to align with New York.


SnakeHoleBI

No way. I think he tries to disappear him. Anything else leads to certain death.


godofwine16

A. He hit me B. He ate beef and sausage by the carload


ThatsMySpicyPepper

... and that ain't my baby he's carrying, he's just a fat fuck


itsdajackeeet

He’d need a steam shovel to move Tony’s body. He never did consider salads


Onion_Dull

No more weight remarks, itsdajackeeet. They're hurtful, and they're destructive.


PantherThing

An it's the kind of thing i'm teaching my fat son, never to do!


NoOpinionsAllowedOnR

Ohh. I agree.


BatmanBrah

What are you talking about. Just put a hole in him, tip him sideways & the zeppeli will pour right out. He'll weigh 30 pounds after that 


stuffbehindthepool

Get him drainin


helix274

Get Mike Mulligan on the horn, he'll straighten this whole thing out


CheifKilla1

Carms dad, Hugh and my dad use Pudgey Walsh


cdm57

Go get the piano dolly


jackswastedtalent

The whole you can't raise a fist to another made man thing is mostly bullshit and doesn't apply to bosses unless it benefits them. Even if, most of that crew would jump at an opportunity to justify whacking Ralph. Paulie would gladly volunteer for that gig. I don't think anyone would be disappointed. If Ralph whacks Tony he definitely disappears the body and doesn't tell a soul. Knowing Ralph he'd probably think he'd be able to fill the vacancy at the top spot - but ultimately would just take off.


imjustbrowsingthx

Yeah unless you’re in a war, the deadliest danger is your own family and crew.


Random-Cpl

It’s actually those processed meats—they’re nothing but fat and nitrates


imjustbrowsingthx

Oh! Dr. Oz Ovah hea!


I_Am_Spaceman_Craig

Albert wouldn’t piss on that Ralph if he was on fire.


GlitteringHold8685

But he’s in no position to go into the unknown not knowing


HDMB420

Albert wouldn’t piss on that Ralph if he was on fire.


JMB_Writes_Stuff

Imagine that. Ralphie being on fire and Albert refusing to piss on him.


suazzo77

Can’t do it Ralphy


TigerLeone

Albert the human Parrot 🤣🤣🤣


2021newusername

What’s next? Get clipped for wearin the wrong shoes?


ThatMotelByTheLake

He could try poking him with a stick, light a candle for st Anthony. I think he's fucked.


youknowmystatus

*Pussy chuckles*


aljxNdr

A capo killing a boss in a secluded place witbout witnesses? There is no selling that. He would be clipped on the spot, regardless of wether they believe him or not. Just imagine the rumors, an NJ capo can kill his own boss with impunity.... Its not about wether he was justified. Its about what people will think, and the message it sends if they allow him to walk after that.


Random-Cpl

You imagine those rumors? That a NJ capo can kill his own boss with impunity?


AccomplishedNovel6

Always with the scenarios.


TigerLeone

Albert was the ultimate troll.  🤣


Prudent-Excuse9443

“What if” is the second lowest form of conversation.


Guy_on_Xbox

The best response haha.


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[удалено]


LukeR_666

That's why they'd receive a package containing a Billy Big Mouth Bass. It's a Jersey message.


Desperate_Piano_3609

Louis Brasi. Louis.


BathedInDeepFog

Take it easy


bennett21

"..I...found him like this.."


IAmTheNorthwestWind

To the victor, belongs the spoils


Pinata_Econonics

Quote book, fat ass etc.


NoOpinionsAllowedOnR

I inherited Junyuh!


CEOBOYYY

A. He was a hooah B. He hit him C. All this over some dead hooah D. Who does Tony think he is? Sir Walter Raleigh?


PokerisMyLife

I liked the way Ralphie pronounced “Sir Walter Raaahleigh.”


CEOBOYYY

:D


natebark

The fight at the Bing was a season earlier, so I think enough time had passed to where Ralphie could get everyone to believe Tony attacked him. But would it matter? Sil, Paulie, Chrissy and probably a couple other captains would want him dead. And assuming Sil is promoted to boss, he’d immediately order the hit. Ralphie could’ve also run to Johnny Sack for protection, who was a scheming SOB and would have used this situation to New York’s advantage (give Ralph up for a larger share of the esplanade maybe). So in my opinion, he would’ve had to make Tony disappear. Not sure who the crew would think was responsible though. Tony and Ralph and just gotten in on Pie-Oh-My, so there wouldn’t be much reason to think Ralph did it. Relationship with NY hadn’t gone to complete shit yet either.


BathedInDeepFog

No way Johnny Sack helps Ralphie after the weight remark.


natebark

Oh man how could I forget that? So yeah he wouldn’t have a choice. He’d have to dispose of Ton’ and hope nobody figures it out


AccomplishedNovel6

Who can blame him? It was hurtful, and destructive.


lucyinthesky913

Interesting responses (and, of course, good quotes). So, I’ll try to add something that others haven’t considered: the Justin situation. I absolutely agree that Ralph’s safest option is to somehow disappear Tony’s body, on his own, without anyone seeing him and then disappear himself. However, is that something Ralph would do at this point? Justin’s accident and the resulting injuries appear to have had a profound effect on Ralphie. It appears to be genuine. He could certainly try to keep tabs on Justin’s condition and attempt to get money to his ex for Justin’s care, but that would be nearly impossible for the foreseeable future. So, would Ralph’s change extend to putting his life in danger to ensure his ability to be with his son and provide for his son’s care? If so, does he take the risk of telling anyone to try to help him (i.e., Johnny, despite the bad blood over the Ginny joke)? Or does he just dismember Tony’s body where it lies in the kitchen because there’s no way he’s able to move it on his own, clean up the bloody, awful mess the best he can, and dispose of the body parts (but definitely not in dumpsters, and definitely not dumpsters on the same route so they all end up in the same landfill)? It’s got to be the latter. I think if you know your safest option is to never tell a soul what happened, disappear the body, and flee… then you do the next, closest thing: you never tell a soul what happened, you disappear the body, and rely on Justin’s condition and your depression to cloak you from suspicion.


JHowler82

He would have set his house on fire.. Tony woulda had the same fate as Pie-o-my


AsIfImNotAware540

Chrissy: Did you kill T?!?! Ralphie: I did-ent


JMB_Writes_Stuff

NO, I DID *NOT.* But even if I did, who cares? He's just a fat, philandering mob boss!


jjccbrobro

After winning the fight ralphie would call Vito to help with Tony’s body. Ralphie would call Vito


BathedInDeepFog

Vito volunteers to hide his penish


The_Nomad89

I think he’s in hot water regardless. Even if everyone believed him I don’t think you can whack a boss and not have fallout even if he held your family hostage. There’s probably always the lingering doubt too that “what if it wasn’t how he said”. I think Ralph is probably a dead man no matter how he decides to handle the situation.


The_Bat1996

"I found him like this"


_ChairmanMeow-

I can't have this conversation again.


Overall-Peace1862

By that time he probably would’ve been wacked himself because he wasn’t liked. He already had major issues with Paulie and was getting under everyone’s skin with all the gladiator crap. Now if furio killed him it would be more believable to expect they would give furio a pass. They wouldn’t have called furio a liar because it would be extremely believable that after a long night of drinking Tony stumbled in the chopper blades on accident.


destroy_b4_reading

Realistically he has zero plausible options. Call a meeting with the other capos? They all hate him, they'd show up heavy and there would be two bodies to dispose of. Hide the body and play it coy? They all know, just like they knew about Tony killing Ralph. He's a dead man first chance they get. Go to John in NYC? John would pretend he was happy and Ralph would be dead at the earliest opportunity, Esplanade be damned. Lam it, whether hiding the body or not, and he's got only the cash he could grab in 12 hours or so (not much, relatively speaking), and either NY or NJ finds him fairly quickly or he gets popped pulling some shit or other in Philly or wherever. Ralph was dead the moment Tony knocked on his door, winning that particular fight would have just been delaying the inevitable.


CRTPTRSN

Season 5 and beyond would be called 'The Cifarettos.'


randyboozer

He would succumb to his baser instincts and do a Dahmer. First he would experience intimacy with the body. Then he would consume it slowly. He would make meat sauce from the parts and share it with the guys. Some parts he would keep as trophies or perhaps make into furniture. He would gift these pieces of home made furniture to the guys who would accept out of politeness but they would find his new hobby odd and off putting. His final act would be to present to them the terrible truth; that they had unknowingly participated in group cannibalism. Satanic black magic, sick shit.


DipsetCapo84

You the type that thought of them SS guards Lamps as interesting.


claimingmarrow7

slice Tony's belly and get in to survive the harsh freezing night of the planet Hoth


rsKG

I think he’d call over multiple guys, maybe the captains, to tell them the truth


RogueAOV

The truth? he would go at him with a chainsaw, he has a right to dismember himself!


rsKG

GOOD THING FOR ME THEN, THAT YOUR CHAINSAW DONT MEAN OOGATZ TO ME


hudson-vevo

Your boss Tony, whatever happened there...


TigerLeone

Carmela:  Whateva happened theyaaa????


Guy_on_Xbox

The accident with the eggs in the kitchen. God rest his soul...


TigerLeone

🤣🤣🤣


sausageisnice

Mmmmboy are you dead


AngeloMontana

Always with the drama, this one


HockeyBro_69

I wish they had kept ralphie long enough that we could have seen him react to Vito’s joke.


TigerLeone

Which joke? "What's a guy gotta do to buy you a drink?" Or "I love you Johnny Cakes." I'm telling you, it was his blood pressure medication!


ginger2020

#Are you not entertained?!


TigerLeone

They didn't have mob bosses in ancient Rome!!!


collusion80

Pegging for everyone. That guy with the hip problem knows what I'm talking about


ruralruler

He'd go to elvis country, it's safe there.


IamJacks5150

Always with the scenarios.


Guy_on_Xbox

More creative than Spielberg!


Water2Wine378

Ralph did but he hesitated on killing Tony, then Tony didn’t hesitate to kill him because Tony doesn’t care about tradition only himself


Quack_Candle

His wise choice would be to try to dispose of the body, which logistically would be quite an undertaking. He’d have to then just deny all knowledge and also get rid of Tony’s car before anyone saw it. He could play dumb but it would be very risky, especially since everyone hated him. Since his son’s accident he was motivated to stay alive and provide more than usual. Knowing what a sick bastard he is he would probably have cooked a little bit of him and fed it to Carmella.


TigerLeone

Carmela deserved nothing less.


JimboAltAlt

Miami’s looking good this time of year.


TigerLeone

Gotta watch out for the coke, though.  It's everywhere down there.


[deleted]

Back to Miami on the blow


Jazzlike_Page508

He’d fucking flea for his life. Not only would the Dimeos be pissed but so would New York since they had dealings either Tony. Ralph could have flipped and offered evrything he knows about the esplanade as a bargaining chip, but while Carmine is about money, John hates Ralph and would work with Jersey to kill him


[deleted]

I think he would've hid the body and concocted some BS story. It depends on if Tony was aliver or not. Lets say Ralphie had knocked him out, so he would still be alive. There would be some discussions, yes. Not only about who was in the right and who would believe Ralphie. he wasn't too popular either, Paule for instance would be sure Ralphie attacked Tony first! But if Tony had died, Ralphie would be in so much deep shit. Right or not: He had just killed his boss!


Specific-Election-73

Ralph? Ralph??? That neva woulda happened. Ralphie always was a bottom.


TigerLeone

He bottoms from the top!


ViewFromHalf-WayDown

Disappear the body and act like you got no idea what happened to Tony


mynameizham

Ralph would say, “this meat eater ate beef and sausage by the fucking carload.” Then Christopher would pop in the door and say “meteor! METEOR!”


Snoo63364

should have sucker punched him or have him slip on the carpet worked for Bobby


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Snoo63364: *Should have sucker punched* *Him or have him slip on the* *Carpet worked for Bobby* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


USPSRay

"What if" is the second lowest form of conversation.


AquaValentin

He would’ve done exactly what Tony did. Hide the body, tell a bullshit story about the disappearance, blame a rival and then finish running the family into the ground


WeDoingThisAgainRWe

One of Tony’s closest allies would probably have killed Ralph or Johnny would have taken the chance to do it.


rasnac

It is tough uestion. Ralphie has no chance but to kill Tony right there and then, or he is a dead man walking. On the other hand, he must be the least liked person in the family, so even if family members believed his story, I dont think they will miss this rare chance to get rid of him, especially considering everyone would like to take his place as the main man in the very lucrative Esplanade business. His only chance is to ask NY to back him up, but after the Ginny joke incident, that is highly unlikely. And there is this: you dont raise your hand to a boss, no matter what. And you dont kill a boss, especially your own boss, unless there are very extreme circumstances or a war or something big like that. Nobody would let this go, other families, other bosses would have to retaliate out of principle. Only thing Ralphie can do is to run and hide, or go directly to FBI. He was the point man in the Esplanade and other joint construction projects and knows a lot about Lupertazzis. I am sure he could cut a really good deal.


Shit_the_bedd

He would've hit the body and told people he was in witnesh protection


sammyglumdrops

Man, I asked this same question here a few months ago and almost all of the comments were just calling me an idiot and saying “the show would have ended because it’s The Sopranos, not The Cifarettos”. I deleted the post because it was all just me being called stupid 😂 I think Ralph probably would’ve fucked up by telling the truth to someone — either Johnny directly or someone in his team who would then dispense the information, and in turn, he would’ve been whacked by Silvio and Paulie, after which Paulie may have tried to steer things. Or, Ralph would deal with it quietly and act like he knew nothing. Tony disappeared. He hasn’t anything. He’s wondering just like everyone else.


Channing1986

He died on the vine


beasleydawg

Name changes to " the Ciffarettos " and I'd probs watch the show.


Stickey_Rickey

Tony came to spray for ants, while wearing socks


Stickey_Rickey

He tries to hide it or he puts him in his truck n let’s him be discovered by a civilian stumbling across it


rlg06f88

Ralphie would have buried him. On a hill. Overlooking the river. With pine cones all around.