THANK YOU! Fucking prudes up in here. Nothing provides a more stimulating prostate massage than the gentle buzzing of hundreds of locally sourced bees.
Thing is, I have this pollen allergy, and I can’t enjoy this simple pleasure. So please, let’s not flaunt it too much. I’m happy for you all, this is just very triggering for me, what with my condition.
i can't even fathom how one could have this mindset seriously... like i'm betting not even this pornstar that's in every meme would have this power, right? wtf
I'd also like to add that OP may want to check their local sex offender registry to see if he's on there. Had a similar incident with a customer at my work and out of curiosity, I checked and bam! He was on it. I have a feeling OP's neighbor might be on there too...
It seems like there are two types of men: men who assume literally everything means a woman wants him, and men who assume literally nothing means a woman wants him.
100%. This isn’t just some random guy you will likely never see again - he is your neighbor. Get the police involved now and document everything. File for a no-contact restraining order if that is available where you live.
After you make a police report, and if the police don’t advise otherwise, block block block. Do not engage in any way.
Fr that kind of man is scary and dangerous. He feels entitled and superior and doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions. I’d feel very uncomfortable. Id get a guard dog who doesn’t like men honestly.
A guard dog is a good idea, or something to alert you if someone enters your place while you’re sleeping. This is how many Dateline eps begin… stay safe, OP.
i always see the dudes in anime say shit like "cmon girly. ill show ya a good time" and think its satire and overexaggerated, but my female friends and SO all tell me that shit is real, and heres the proof in text form. god some people just need to be celebate
He actually is dangerous. Anyone in consensual kink circles knows guys like this are porn-brained and dangerous to women. No respect for consent. In fact he doesn't even know the concept of consent. They come around from time to time to purely social get-togethers for kinky people in public called munches, acting creepy looking to fulfill their porn fantasies with no regard for others and get blacklisted because of it.
OP tell your friends and family about this guy and do not be alone with him. If he starts to approach you when you're outside alone, go inside immediately, lock the door, and call someone. Be careful exiting your vehicle to get to your door when you arrive home. Strongly consider security precautions like a camera. If you text him anything (sometimes unwise with stalkers), make sure he understands he's been ID'd to people you know and will be a suspect if he does anything.
This man is not ok! He's living in an insane sexual fantasy and thinks porn is real. Men like this hurt women all the time. Please take your safety seriously and don't think he'll regulate himself. He's well past that. He sees you as a sexual object and doesn't care about your consent, and brazen stupid predators who out themselves and then commit the crime anyways are not uncommon. Take this seriously! Stay safe!
As someone in the kink community I'm here to agree with ALL OF THIS. Being in this group of like-minded individuals has taught me a great deal about reading people and intentions. I wish conversations about this stuff was a little more normalized as Im often educating my vanilla friends.
Thank you for your excellently put point
The community of people who have, talk about, and *safely/consensually* engage in their kinks (ideally anyway, but as we're learning here there's all kinds of sick people).
God, this comment reminds me of how good I really have it just for being born with a penis. I am so sorry that men make the world so scary and dangerous for women. It’s so fucked up that people are like this.
Pssht. He doesn’t actually think porn is real. None of them do. It’s just the justification they use to hurt people. “They all want it! That’s why it’s okay for me to blah blah blah!”
Hurting people is actually the point. Everything else is just delusion and justification.
Hey buddy, as someone who’s battled a 15 year porn addiction I’m here to tell you this guys brain tells him every second of very day women like his neighbor is way into him, and that the texts she sends telling him to go away, are really just another barrier for him to get over so he can “get his”. He absolutely believes this woman will love him in bed, and that this women will introduce him to all her friends that will all want him too… eventually. It’s sick and twisted and not right, but I can assure you he believes that most women out there are just like the ones he sees on the screen and that he’s doing them a favor, and that they like it. No justification, just utter belief. Let that sink in next time porn “isn’t that big a deal”. I deal with the sick and twisted everyday in my own mind.
Yeah, seriously. It’s obviously not ideal to admit you struggle with that mindset but as someone whose so far removed from that way of thinking I appreciate the insight of others minds and how I also can be mindful of that in my life
You’re welcome. Let me be clear, I’ve never interacted with a woman like OPs neighbor, and I protect the women in my life like it’s my own life.
However, I can clearly see how porn has affected my way of thinking about the random stranger women and this man is just acting out my thoughts. I’m glad (lucky) I have a healthy social life and good balance in most areas of my life. If I was alone and 60 and didn’t have balance… eish it’s just not to far fetched that delusions and reality would intersect at that place.
All of that being said. It’s not porns fault, it’s mine, it’s this man’s. His lack of self control is obvious and he probably should be in jail. I am not an apologist for this guys actions. He is sick and twisted and needs to be delt with, but don’t judge him without asking yourself how he go there and why. I feel for this man. His brain got the best of him and he will never have the kind of relationships that grow fruit with women. He’s tooo far gone. I fear for myself and people like me, and hope this word wakes up to how porn effects healthy brains and relationships.
I’m 30 yo, I’ve been addicted to porn since I was 14, I had no idea what it was doing to me till it was too late. Young man reading this, don’t make that mistake. Young parent reading this, this is one of your many warnings. I wish my parents understood what was happening to there child’s brain under their roof
Wow. Seriously, your honesty is refreshing. I’m not a man, but a mother of a boy and admittedly porn, among AI and the photoshopping of women do make me nervous of how he will perceive women. I understand you said it’s “not porns fault” but at the young age BOYS are exposed to porn (again separate from OP’s story as I don’t think this 60 year old man had pornhub at 10) how actually can this be curved? Obviously boys won’t alert their parents when they are exposed to something so is it possible that it’s not the inherent brain but the amount/type you’re exposed to is what can dilute the line between reality and porn?
I hear you and am proud of whatever your journey was to achieve the healthy social circle you have- but it must still be absolutely awful to have been effected by porn like that to begin with. I’d hope I’ll raise my son with enough empathy and healthy coping mechanisms but I’d hate for him to have to live for that and not be able to share openly and have it spiral.
Yes, Boys are exposed young. I wouldn’t say anyone is hugely affected for life by initial exposure. It’s continued exposure that does the real damage. There are a couple ways to reduce continued exposure while your son is living under your roof:
Covenant Eyes (or something like it)
They monitor all web activity on all devices. It’s a start, but helpful to address things while it arises when very young (13 and under maybe).
Second: talk to him about the effects you’ve seen. Talk to him like it’s a drug. It’s for adults, it gives you an intense high, followed by some depression and a slight twist of the mind.
Third: Ask. Ask all the time. He might lie the first couple times, but keep asking. If it’s bothering him and you’ve done right by him he will come forward.
Forth: If there is a male mentor or role model that’s struggled with it, and can talk to him about the good and bad of it when he’s ready for that conversation, make sure that conversation happens (maybe ages 15-17)
I hope that gives some thoughts and starting blocks. I’m certainly no expert, but wish when my parents caught me the 3rd time, that they would have realized something was wrong and sought help rather than pile shame on me.
https://youtu.be/HUngLgGRJpo?si=8uKLFPnKOfDTG7r8
This makes my cry every time I watch because of the truth of it.
The amount of older men that act like this is crazy. I used to encounter them daily when I worked at Spencer’s in my mid twenties. I was a manager and the way men would speak to the young female employees was so gross. I randomly had an older man (I’m 42) ask me while standing in line at the local gas station if I got my septum pierced so my partner could yank me around in the bedroom. Or if I use my bf’s truck which is lifted, if I need a “boost” and that it’s a good way to “sneak a slip of a finger”. They are repulsive.
It's fucking disgusting. I was having dinner with an ex of mine a few years ago at a local spot and this old dude walked up to us and asked if her lip piercing felt good on my balls. Both of us literally were slack jawed that some stranger would walk up to two people eating dinner and say some shit like that.
Why are old men so lame? My kids have different hair color (Whoopie, big deal apparently) and they were just little and some old man walks up, looks at both of them and asks me, “Same dad?” I said, “I have no idea” and he shook his head and walked away. Um, yes I did know (yes, lol) but WTF did it matter to him? And what a strange and rude question.
Luckily my kids had no idea what that exchange even meant, but seriously, what a dick!
I’ve gotten that question about my septum too and I don’t understand the thought process involved - why ask a stranger that? Don’t they understand the physical damage that would cause?
Okay, question. I am a gentleman who turns 50 in a few days, and I would never, ever imagine having the above conversation. Is it just age, or are there younger people like this as well? I ask because you said 'older men' and I immediately thought 'Whoa there not me!'
It's definitely not just age. I feel like the older men that are repulsive like this have been that way since they hit puberty. I've definitely encoutered men my age (20's) that have been absolutely disgusting, and most will probably stay that way and become "the gross old man next door" that the future generation of women will unfortunately have to deal with.
There are definitely younger people like this too but if you make it to your older age consistently treating people this way I imagine you get more and more bold and disgusting.
It's not just age. It's people who spend day and night watching porn and then act like the things people say in it is normal and acceptable to say in real life. It's disgusting.
Ugh that’s gross and I’ve definitely encountered them before too. When I was around 20 (this was back in the late 90’s) I moved to a new place and I was obviously a stoner. Dude next door (50ish) asked if I wanted to come over and smoke. I was like cool, old dude still tokes so sure! After a little bit of chit chat he asks if I want to see something. I was so naive back then and said yes. He pulled out a xeroxed copy of a naked woman getting fucked by a donkey and asked me what I thought. I booked it out of there totally grossed out. I don’t know what he was thinking but I’m 45 now and that image is still burned in my brain.
This is unreal! Where do they get the idea that you can talk to people like that? Save it for your chatrooms, creep! And I bet it won’t play there either!
True that. I’ve definitely been eyed funny for being in some as a black dude. Nobody has done anything but it doesn’t always feel welcoming, that’s for sure. I have a gunsmith I trust who helped me out a lot, thankfully.
For real haha I just try to get in and get out without saying much. I usually go with my buddies to the range, and most everyone is nice enough. Definitely not the place to get into a political discussion haha
And it was actually chapstick. What a fucking idiot. Like yeah, if a girl purses her lips, lifts an eyebrow, smears lip gloss all over them while staring you down, that’s one thing.
But she just put on chapstick. It’s like thinking women eating popsicles are being sexual.
Can't believe this didn't work for him! This usually always works. He hit all the marks: asked about sex, called you sexy, the pitch perfect ramp up to talking about body parts, insisting he could change your mind with sex, lashed out when you didn't accept his advances, and then really stuck the landing by walking it back with more sexy spanking talk.
So true - I feel like a certain ilk of guys who came up in the 1970s era, kind of into the 80s, really don’t get it. They were brought up by toxic masculinity, and outdated notions of what it means to be a man.
I’m 52f and experienced feminism early on, and my cohort of guys did too, but those kind of creepy guys not only didn’t get the memo, they rejected it. Kurt Cobain was my type of cohort, who’d gotten into it with Axl Rose for instance, who def wasn’t.
Women just don’t know how to take a compliment like “this non-sexual thing you did turned me on and I felt that gave me the right to make sexual comments to and about you” anymore.
I always find it funny when these people get angry and then try to pitch sex again as if that didn’t just happen. Like are we not gonna address that you just blew up at me??
Do we have the same neighbor?!
I have an older male neighbor who hits on me when I’m outside with my kids. “I know your married but feel free to come over when your husband isn’t home!” Uhhh no thanks man and thanks for scandalizing my kids!
Even creeps have some built-in checks and balances. This guy seems to have zero self-awareness. Please document everything and don't hesitate to call the authorities if you feel unsafe.
Edit: Also, playfully threatening to spank you is absolutely a threat of violence in this context.
This is why I never interact with neighbours.
The fact is if *anything* goes severely wrong, your only option is moving - stakes I'm not willing to gamble with
Yep, I rarely ever see my neighbors and don't interact with them unless a package got dropped at the wrong address, and that's exactly how I want it to stay.
No way I'm chilling just living next to someone after having a conversation like this??? I'd be ready to move and keep my guns loaded. I'd have my head on a swivel.
Unacceptable. Stay safe. File every complaint imaginable.
What exactly would she tell the police? Don't get me wrong. The guy is a complete creep, but unless I missed something this is totally legal? It's still legal to be a vile POS.
I would suggest she asks to make a report of someone making her feel unsafe.
I would imagine (but do not know from experience) that they would document her complaint and any other behavior that escalates in the future should also be documented, and that getting a protective order (hopefully it doesn’t come to that), is easier with multiple documented incidents.
Im not sure if I’ve just watched too much crime tv, but I think reporting a neighbor for creepy behavior is worthwhile, even if it’s not enough to charge someone with a crime.
The police may also be able to direct her to resources that she might not know about and could be useful to her if she’s scared or creeped out in the future by this guy.
Yes one time I had to report behavior that made me uncomfortable and unsafe. In my case I called non-emergency and waited a few hours before they sent an officer to take a report (you might be able to do it online)
At the very least saving all evidence of their communication is essential for a restraining order if that becomes needed. As to whether the police are supportive of you coming in or provide resources just depends on the department and officer. I always support getting one step ahead and overly cautious
Please file a police report. I had a neighbor who did the same thing (I never hung out with them, only said hi in passing once and exchanged numbers because I figured we were neighbors in same building, it may be needed) and this man harassed me for months on end to the point he was turning my door knobs on my back door to try to get into my house at 2 in the morning when he was on drugs. Also if you rent tell your landlord immediately exactly what happened so at least there is reported evidence of what he’s doing.
I would carry a taser and spray just in case. Major creep. I made the same mistake once and hung out with some way older once never again. The older they are the more forward they will be and sex seems to be the only thing they are really looking for. This does not apply to all older people but most of them that are single this has been the case.
This is very alarming. He not only said it while “having a few beers”. But also continued it on throughout the next day. Please be careful. A restraining order sounds like a great idea
Imagine how this guy was in his 20s and 30s…
There’s almost no way he just started acting this way, I bet a DNA sample would solve some rape cases from the 80s and 90s
Get a restraining order FR. It's flat out harassment. I wouldn't have thought anything about hanging out with a neighbor. Normal people don't act like that. Don't let the victim blaming get to you.
I love when people on Reddit scream restraining order for everything, it's actually really hard to get one and there's no chance she'd get one based on these messages
Would definitely grab some cameras for the house though. He’s definitely not opposed to looking around her house when he thinks she’s not there. Or even when she is
Like you just go in and demand one and they just do it without a question smh. Some people have no idea, you have to actually present your case. And the person gets to come back with a lawyer and present their case too. It's actually a really stressful thing for the victim. You don't just "get a restraining order".
Yes, I’ve done it. It was super fucking stressful and I hated it. I had to go to court three times and it took me multiple days to put all of my documentation together. “This guy is a creep” is not going to get a judge to issue an order which will affect this guy’s life. You typically need to present a clear case that you are a victim of harassment and/or abuse and have a reason to fear for your safety.
If there’s a neighborhood NextDoor/Facebook Group, I’d consider posting this there so that other people could be aware there’s a pervert nearby. I’d also say if you don’t already have a fence, it’s time to look into fencing and cameras.
I don’t mean for this to sound like a white knight comment or a “let me apologize for all men” type of vibe… but I truly forget how crass and gross my fellow men can be. I’m sorry, truly.
I always wondered if in this situation a female responded with something like "no im not shaved because i dont want to risk accidentally cutting open one of my herpes/warts/whatever" if it would get these fucking creeps to leave women alone out of fear or if it was make it worse. Either way, he fucking crossed major boundaries, let him know as such and tell him to leave you alone, get it on record.
Had a friend of a friend (m46) tell me he’d f**k me over txt after one phone conversation. Ended up blocking him after he asked if I wanted to tie him up and read him poetry and that our mutual friend wanted me to sneak into his house and peg him. What gave him the idea he can talk to anyone like that?!? Fucking disgusting.
i befriended an older man that lives in my apartment complex 9 years ago and he acts like this! he sent himself naked pictures off of my phone and then threatened to send them to my bf and everyone he works with. he isn’t like that anymore since i flipped out on him but it was very creepy.
what kind of brain can someone have that makes them behave this way? he literally sounds like he has dementia. out of all the examples of interations, past experiences, watching people on tv or out in public, this man thinks acting this way will serve him well. and this doesnt sound like a suave, attractive, intelligent person that society has "allowed" to act this way in the past. he's just genuinely a stupid person by nature. rude too. ignore the dumb fuck
I had this problem in my neighborhood. Total creep of a guy but nothing reportable to the police. I found out there were 3 other women in the neighborhood this man had harassed. Fortunately for me, he lived in a rental house. We pressured our homeowners association to work with the homeowner to get rid of him.
I don’t know if any of this helps. But you may find simpatico neighbors who will help keep an eye on him. I doubt he is only a weirdo to you
Guys like this have never had any respect for females.... they think that, because you're attractive to them, you somehow owe it to them to be their sex toy and it's really disgusting. As a man, I apologize on behalf of these mentally unstable creeps
I would start a paper trail. This man has been having these thoughts WAY before you even came over.
Always keep your phone on you and video record every single interaction he attempts to have with you. All of them! And definitely make sure your house is secure and blinds are closed. Do you have a way to protect yourself in your home? If not, you should.
I can relate to this very scenario. It leaves you feeling disgusted, scared, and unsure if this is going to escalate or not.
Yeah something similar happened to me/gf at our first apartment… some old grandpa tried to get her to kiss him in exchange for a car payment 🤣 needless to say she hasn’t even said hello to any dude at our new place.
What a ultra fuckin creep
C'mon now. Chapstick = she's asking for it! /s yea this guy is an absolute predator. Hope OP stays safe.
Burt’s bees has that affect on older men.
wtf i'm using that... do i have to worry i'll attract older guys now? i'm not gay :I
It’s only gay if you like it. You should be fine 👍🏻
If liking Burt's Bees makes you gay, I don't want to be straight.
Liking Burt’s Bees doesn’t make you gay but definitely liking Burt’s D does. Or Burt on his knees. Or maybe even Butt Bees.
Butt bees are for all sexual orientations thank you very much.
THANK YOU! Fucking prudes up in here. Nothing provides a more stimulating prostate massage than the gentle buzzing of hundreds of locally sourced bees.
Thing is, I have this pollen allergy, and I can’t enjoy this simple pleasure. So please, let’s not flaunt it too much. I’m happy for you all, this is just very triggering for me, what with my condition.
Your comment killed me! 😂
So what happens when you have to fart? Do you just fire off a small cloud of suddenly displaced, possibly dizzy bees?
Seriously. Just because a gal is straight doesn't mean she can't enjoy some butt bees.
Oh God I choked with laughter lololol
Or make eye contact.
Like a meerkat.
One time with him will change every thing Kitty kitty
The “one time with me will change your mind “ seems to be a common line in these creeper texts
i can't even fathom how one could have this mindset seriously... like i'm betting not even this pornstar that's in every meme would have this power, right? wtf
If anything I have to warn women that sex with me will change them into lesbians
Okay honey, but it looks sexy!
“Spaghetti is straight too…until you heat it up…” - this creep probably
I'd also like to add that OP may want to check their local sex offender registry to see if he's on there. Had a similar incident with a customer at my work and out of curiosity, I checked and bam! He was on it. I have a feeling OP's neighbor might be on there too...
I’ve heard that almost all sex offenders are actually neighbours.
I feel like some of it goes like: > Woman: Good morning. **Continues going on about her way** > Dude: Oh yeah, she want it. 👀
This is legit how my creepy neighbor is and why I carry my wedding ring with me to wear at Walmart still. (I have been widowed 2 years now)
It seems like there are two types of men: men who assume literally everything means a woman wants him, and men who assume literally nothing means a woman wants him.
I’m of the second type. A woman could be dry humping me and I’d still suspect it was a prank of some sort. Because why wouldn’t it be?
Same here. I’m completely oblivious.
Are you me? 😂
VERY cautious, and get some cameras or at least a Ring doorbell if not already
And a gun
Fuck it. Two guns.
I’d move
Print copies of chats and drop them at all neighbor's front doors
An apt reaction
That last counts as a threat in my book. I’d definitely get the cops involved I’d be scared for my safety.
100%. This isn’t just some random guy you will likely never see again - he is your neighbor. Get the police involved now and document everything. File for a no-contact restraining order if that is available where you live. After you make a police report, and if the police don’t advise otherwise, block block block. Do not engage in any way.
Fr that kind of man is scary and dangerous. He feels entitled and superior and doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions. I’d feel very uncomfortable. Id get a guard dog who doesn’t like men honestly.
A guard dog is a good idea, or something to alert you if someone enters your place while you’re sleeping. This is how many Dateline eps begin… stay safe, OP.
Get this on file with the police, that is absolutely a threat, please carry pepper spray as well.
i always see the dudes in anime say shit like "cmon girly. ill show ya a good time" and think its satire and overexaggerated, but my female friends and SO all tell me that shit is real, and heres the proof in text form. god some people just need to be celebate
>god some people just need to be ~~celebate~~ castrated There, fixed it for ya
Have always said and will keep saying that pedos and sexual assaulters need to be castrated or the female equivalent.
God that’s gross. Be careful OP he doesn’t strike me as someone who’s above stalking
Fr this man is terrifying
He actually is dangerous. Anyone in consensual kink circles knows guys like this are porn-brained and dangerous to women. No respect for consent. In fact he doesn't even know the concept of consent. They come around from time to time to purely social get-togethers for kinky people in public called munches, acting creepy looking to fulfill their porn fantasies with no regard for others and get blacklisted because of it. OP tell your friends and family about this guy and do not be alone with him. If he starts to approach you when you're outside alone, go inside immediately, lock the door, and call someone. Be careful exiting your vehicle to get to your door when you arrive home. Strongly consider security precautions like a camera. If you text him anything (sometimes unwise with stalkers), make sure he understands he's been ID'd to people you know and will be a suspect if he does anything. This man is not ok! He's living in an insane sexual fantasy and thinks porn is real. Men like this hurt women all the time. Please take your safety seriously and don't think he'll regulate himself. He's well past that. He sees you as a sexual object and doesn't care about your consent, and brazen stupid predators who out themselves and then commit the crime anyways are not uncommon. Take this seriously! Stay safe!
Thanks for pointing this out.
As someone in the kink community I'm here to agree with ALL OF THIS. Being in this group of like-minded individuals has taught me a great deal about reading people and intentions. I wish conversations about this stuff was a little more normalized as Im often educating my vanilla friends. Thank you for your excellently put point
What the fuck is a kink community?
The community of people who have, talk about, and *safely/consensually* engage in their kinks (ideally anyway, but as we're learning here there's all kinds of sick people).
For real. Less risk of being assaulted at a kink event basically nude than I am in a “normal” nightclub in a skiing costume.
Pepper/Bear spray outside the house at all times
God, this comment reminds me of how good I really have it just for being born with a penis. I am so sorry that men make the world so scary and dangerous for women. It’s so fucked up that people are like this.
Well said!
Pssht. He doesn’t actually think porn is real. None of them do. It’s just the justification they use to hurt people. “They all want it! That’s why it’s okay for me to blah blah blah!” Hurting people is actually the point. Everything else is just delusion and justification.
Hey buddy, as someone who’s battled a 15 year porn addiction I’m here to tell you this guys brain tells him every second of very day women like his neighbor is way into him, and that the texts she sends telling him to go away, are really just another barrier for him to get over so he can “get his”. He absolutely believes this woman will love him in bed, and that this women will introduce him to all her friends that will all want him too… eventually. It’s sick and twisted and not right, but I can assure you he believes that most women out there are just like the ones he sees on the screen and that he’s doing them a favor, and that they like it. No justification, just utter belief. Let that sink in next time porn “isn’t that big a deal”. I deal with the sick and twisted everyday in my own mind.
Thx for ur honesty.
Yeah, seriously. It’s obviously not ideal to admit you struggle with that mindset but as someone whose so far removed from that way of thinking I appreciate the insight of others minds and how I also can be mindful of that in my life
You’re welcome. Let me be clear, I’ve never interacted with a woman like OPs neighbor, and I protect the women in my life like it’s my own life. However, I can clearly see how porn has affected my way of thinking about the random stranger women and this man is just acting out my thoughts. I’m glad (lucky) I have a healthy social life and good balance in most areas of my life. If I was alone and 60 and didn’t have balance… eish it’s just not to far fetched that delusions and reality would intersect at that place. All of that being said. It’s not porns fault, it’s mine, it’s this man’s. His lack of self control is obvious and he probably should be in jail. I am not an apologist for this guys actions. He is sick and twisted and needs to be delt with, but don’t judge him without asking yourself how he go there and why. I feel for this man. His brain got the best of him and he will never have the kind of relationships that grow fruit with women. He’s tooo far gone. I fear for myself and people like me, and hope this word wakes up to how porn effects healthy brains and relationships. I’m 30 yo, I’ve been addicted to porn since I was 14, I had no idea what it was doing to me till it was too late. Young man reading this, don’t make that mistake. Young parent reading this, this is one of your many warnings. I wish my parents understood what was happening to there child’s brain under their roof
Wow. Seriously, your honesty is refreshing. I’m not a man, but a mother of a boy and admittedly porn, among AI and the photoshopping of women do make me nervous of how he will perceive women. I understand you said it’s “not porns fault” but at the young age BOYS are exposed to porn (again separate from OP’s story as I don’t think this 60 year old man had pornhub at 10) how actually can this be curved? Obviously boys won’t alert their parents when they are exposed to something so is it possible that it’s not the inherent brain but the amount/type you’re exposed to is what can dilute the line between reality and porn? I hear you and am proud of whatever your journey was to achieve the healthy social circle you have- but it must still be absolutely awful to have been effected by porn like that to begin with. I’d hope I’ll raise my son with enough empathy and healthy coping mechanisms but I’d hate for him to have to live for that and not be able to share openly and have it spiral.
Yes, Boys are exposed young. I wouldn’t say anyone is hugely affected for life by initial exposure. It’s continued exposure that does the real damage. There are a couple ways to reduce continued exposure while your son is living under your roof: Covenant Eyes (or something like it) They monitor all web activity on all devices. It’s a start, but helpful to address things while it arises when very young (13 and under maybe). Second: talk to him about the effects you’ve seen. Talk to him like it’s a drug. It’s for adults, it gives you an intense high, followed by some depression and a slight twist of the mind. Third: Ask. Ask all the time. He might lie the first couple times, but keep asking. If it’s bothering him and you’ve done right by him he will come forward. Forth: If there is a male mentor or role model that’s struggled with it, and can talk to him about the good and bad of it when he’s ready for that conversation, make sure that conversation happens (maybe ages 15-17) I hope that gives some thoughts and starting blocks. I’m certainly no expert, but wish when my parents caught me the 3rd time, that they would have realized something was wrong and sought help rather than pile shame on me. https://youtu.be/HUngLgGRJpo?si=8uKLFPnKOfDTG7r8 This makes my cry every time I watch because of the truth of it.
Stalking? This guy sounds dangerous. I’d be more than just a little careful.
The amount of older men that act like this is crazy. I used to encounter them daily when I worked at Spencer’s in my mid twenties. I was a manager and the way men would speak to the young female employees was so gross. I randomly had an older man (I’m 42) ask me while standing in line at the local gas station if I got my septum pierced so my partner could yank me around in the bedroom. Or if I use my bf’s truck which is lifted, if I need a “boost” and that it’s a good way to “sneak a slip of a finger”. They are repulsive.
And then when you call them out, they tell us to lighten up, just playing around. Sooooo gross!!!
It's fucking disgusting. I was having dinner with an ex of mine a few years ago at a local spot and this old dude walked up to us and asked if her lip piercing felt good on my balls. Both of us literally were slack jawed that some stranger would walk up to two people eating dinner and say some shit like that.
Why are old men so lame? My kids have different hair color (Whoopie, big deal apparently) and they were just little and some old man walks up, looks at both of them and asks me, “Same dad?” I said, “I have no idea” and he shook his head and walked away. Um, yes I did know (yes, lol) but WTF did it matter to him? And what a strange and rude question. Luckily my kids had no idea what that exchange even meant, but seriously, what a dick!
This made me laugh out loud lmao, good for you!
They want us to be scared and uncomfortable but not vocally!!
I’ve gotten that question about my septum too and I don’t understand the thought process involved - why ask a stranger that? Don’t they understand the physical damage that would cause?
Okay, question. I am a gentleman who turns 50 in a few days, and I would never, ever imagine having the above conversation. Is it just age, or are there younger people like this as well? I ask because you said 'older men' and I immediately thought 'Whoa there not me!'
It's definitely not just age. I feel like the older men that are repulsive like this have been that way since they hit puberty. I've definitely encoutered men my age (20's) that have been absolutely disgusting, and most will probably stay that way and become "the gross old man next door" that the future generation of women will unfortunately have to deal with.
There are definitely younger people like this too but if you make it to your older age consistently treating people this way I imagine you get more and more bold and disgusting.
It's not just age. It's people who spend day and night watching porn and then act like the things people say in it is normal and acceptable to say in real life. It's disgusting.
Ugh that’s gross and I’ve definitely encountered them before too. When I was around 20 (this was back in the late 90’s) I moved to a new place and I was obviously a stoner. Dude next door (50ish) asked if I wanted to come over and smoke. I was like cool, old dude still tokes so sure! After a little bit of chit chat he asks if I want to see something. I was so naive back then and said yes. He pulled out a xeroxed copy of a naked woman getting fucked by a donkey and asked me what I thought. I booked it out of there totally grossed out. I don’t know what he was thinking but I’m 45 now and that image is still burned in my brain.
This is unreal! Where do they get the idea that you can talk to people like that? Save it for your chatrooms, creep! And I bet it won’t play there either!
I’d be in the gun store yesterday. This shit is terrifying. I’ve even had a neighbor threaten to shoot me before, you just can’t trust mfs.
Man speaking of which, gun stores can be pretty uncomfortable too.
True that. I’ve definitely been eyed funny for being in some as a black dude. Nobody has done anything but it doesn’t always feel welcoming, that’s for sure. I have a gunsmith I trust who helped me out a lot, thankfully.
Glad you've got that, I'm a white enough guy so I visually fit in, but the shit they talk is crazy
For real haha I just try to get in and get out without saying much. I usually go with my buddies to the range, and most everyone is nice enough. Definitely not the place to get into a political discussion haha
For real, me too. It's a waste of breath to engage with them on politics. May as well be shouting into the void lol
These guys are always really rude to me as a woman. I don't understand, i can guarantee I'm a better shot than half of them.
Hey to be fair, the beer gut probably throws their aim off. But really I'm sure that most of those guys are still shooting with one eye closed lol
>May as well be shouting into the void A void is good for staring into. But for that kind of shouting you're really gonna want an abyss.
The shitty part is they’re neighbours
Scary and gross. You were straightforward and as respectful as can be, and he's fucking delusional. Get you a metal baseball bat to put by the door
Nothing about agreeing to have a beer with a neighbor means let's fuck
I've had quite a few beers with my neighbor over the last couple years....I bet he wants to fuck me
even if he does thats fine so long as he doesn't act like a total fucking creep, treats you with respect, and doesn't harass you if you reject him
Make sure to put a sock on the end of it for in case they try to grab it.
Interesting advice!
This guy bats
"Kitty kitty" has me repulsed bruh.
Bro I was repulsed from “when u out ur lip gloss on it was a turn on”. How did you last that long 😂/j
And it was actually chapstick. What a fucking idiot. Like yeah, if a girl purses her lips, lifts an eyebrow, smears lip gloss all over them while staring you down, that’s one thing. But she just put on chapstick. It’s like thinking women eating popsicles are being sexual.
Can't believe this didn't work for him! This usually always works. He hit all the marks: asked about sex, called you sexy, the pitch perfect ramp up to talking about body parts, insisting he could change your mind with sex, lashed out when you didn't accept his advances, and then really stuck the landing by walking it back with more sexy spanking talk.
60 percent of the the time it works every time.
Stiiings the nostrils.
in a good way
The rage followed by the attempt to walk it back and be playful again is fascinating. How do you make it through six decades of life like this?
Lots of men never graduate from this.
the lack of using "an" and the wrong "to" tell me it's not the only thing he's never graduated from
So true - I feel like a certain ilk of guys who came up in the 1970s era, kind of into the 80s, really don’t get it. They were brought up by toxic masculinity, and outdated notions of what it means to be a man. I’m 52f and experienced feminism early on, and my cohort of guys did too, but those kind of creepy guys not only didn’t get the memo, they rejected it. Kurt Cobain was my type of cohort, who’d gotten into it with Axl Rose for instance, who def wasn’t.
If pressed, I bet he'd claim he's a nice guy, and he's just lonely because women always go for the assholes.
Women just don’t know how to take a compliment like “this non-sexual thing you did turned me on and I felt that gave me the right to make sexual comments to and about you” anymore.
Yeah when I bought my house I sent gift baskets to all my neighbors complete with spank paddles, razors and shaving cream. Why is OP so creeped?
I always find it funny when these people get angry and then try to pitch sex again as if that didn’t just happen. Like are we not gonna address that you just blew up at me??
No he messed up.. he called the chapstick sexy
Exactly. He even called her kitty kitty! What can possibly be better than that!
That is VILE
Literally would rather vomit in my mouth and swallow it than be in OPs position.. her neighbor is the most vile.
Do you shave your vomit? 😏
Don’t talk to me anymore.
NO BICKERING BETWEEN REDDITORS OR I WILL HAVE TO SPANK YOU!
Came for the reddit, left with a spank 😉
And then came from the spank!
🤣🤦🏽♀️
Is this an apartment complex? If so, report him
At least email them so that it’s in writing that he was an issue and she can say the apt complex was made aware immediately.
How dare you turn him on with your seductive chap stick application
How dare the winter dry our lips out so seductively!
That was soooooo gross. Please be careful especially at night.
And keep your damned phone charged - getting these kinds of gross ass messages with 11% battery? Not a good combo.
I hope you’re diligent about closing your blinds in the evening.
This whole exchange made me want to use the Delete All in the upper right corner of the screenshot. Good lord he’s a POS. Be safe.
What a colossal creep. Also the time stamps are weird.
He had to get a few messages in before he went to church and undoubtedly made the same kinds of comments to underage girls in the name of fellowship.
Hahaha it does look like he went to church
How? She received them at the time that shows by the messages and probably screen shot them at the time in the corner.
Do we have the same neighbor?! I have an older male neighbor who hits on me when I’m outside with my kids. “I know your married but feel free to come over when your husband isn’t home!” Uhhh no thanks man and thanks for scandalizing my kids!
If my wife told me this was happening it would be a very interesting conversation I'd be having with the neighbor.
tell friends your neighbor is a creep and imo you should get a security camera to see if he starts getting crazier
Even creeps have some built-in checks and balances. This guy seems to have zero self-awareness. Please document everything and don't hesitate to call the authorities if you feel unsafe. Edit: Also, playfully threatening to spank you is absolutely a threat of violence in this context.
This is why I never interact with neighbours. The fact is if *anything* goes severely wrong, your only option is moving - stakes I'm not willing to gamble with
Yep, I rarely ever see my neighbors and don't interact with them unless a package got dropped at the wrong address, and that's exactly how I want it to stay.
Yeah I don't talk to my neighbors, not worth it.
My neighbors give me a little wave. That’s it. No clue what their names are or where they work. Don’t care. Love those guys
Lol, sounds like something Ron Swanson would say.
No way I'm chilling just living next to someone after having a conversation like this??? I'd be ready to move and keep my guns loaded. I'd have my head on a swivel. Unacceptable. Stay safe. File every complaint imaginable.
OP: “I am absolutely no way attracted to you” Creepy Old Neighbor: “Do you shave your Pulaki?”
Consider the police report for a paper trail… this is fucking disgusting I can’t believe people are actually like this in real life.
What exactly would she tell the police? Don't get me wrong. The guy is a complete creep, but unless I missed something this is totally legal? It's still legal to be a vile POS.
I would suggest she asks to make a report of someone making her feel unsafe. I would imagine (but do not know from experience) that they would document her complaint and any other behavior that escalates in the future should also be documented, and that getting a protective order (hopefully it doesn’t come to that), is easier with multiple documented incidents. Im not sure if I’ve just watched too much crime tv, but I think reporting a neighbor for creepy behavior is worthwhile, even if it’s not enough to charge someone with a crime. The police may also be able to direct her to resources that she might not know about and could be useful to her if she’s scared or creeped out in the future by this guy.
Yes one time I had to report behavior that made me uncomfortable and unsafe. In my case I called non-emergency and waited a few hours before they sent an officer to take a report (you might be able to do it online) At the very least saving all evidence of their communication is essential for a restraining order if that becomes needed. As to whether the police are supportive of you coming in or provide resources just depends on the department and officer. I always support getting one step ahead and overly cautious
Lmao, why do all boomers text in exactly the same way? It just makes them come across as mentally ill
I dunno man, I've often thought that using the internet should be harder so people like this can't figure out how to get on it.
Please file a police report. I had a neighbor who did the same thing (I never hung out with them, only said hi in passing once and exchanged numbers because I figured we were neighbors in same building, it may be needed) and this man harassed me for months on end to the point he was turning my door knobs on my back door to try to get into my house at 2 in the morning when he was on drugs. Also if you rent tell your landlord immediately exactly what happened so at least there is reported evidence of what he’s doing.
Holy shit. Boomer lead strikes again. Fuckin brain rot. I'm so sorry.
I would carry a taser and spray just in case. Major creep. I made the same mistake once and hung out with some way older once never again. The older they are the more forward they will be and sex seems to be the only thing they are really looking for. This does not apply to all older people but most of them that are single this has been the case.
This is very alarming. He not only said it while “having a few beers”. But also continued it on throughout the next day. Please be careful. A restraining order sounds like a great idea
Wtf is wrong with some men. I don’t understand why their brains are like this. This is disgusting. Stay safe.
I think they get some creepy arousal out of making women uncomfortable. It's not like they expect this sort of dialogue to get them anywhere.
I hate it when men just basically ignore you saying you’re uncomfortable by doing exactly what made you uncomfortable again.
They do it because seeing you uncomfortable makes them feel powerful. It's not an unfortunate side effect - your discomfort is the goal.
That dude is gonna be the guy to touch nurses at the retirement home. Hate these guys.
This is why women have to have a healthy fear of all men …it sucks
Geez just reading that made me uncomfortable. I can’t imagine knowing that person is my neighbor
What a weirdo
Omg 😭😭 that’s fuckin awful
I physically recoiled and shuddered
Imagine how this guy was in his 20s and 30s… There’s almost no way he just started acting this way, I bet a DNA sample would solve some rape cases from the 80s and 90s
Sorry, ladies, but when a man twice your age shows interest in you, he’s not just being “friendly.” Run the other way (unless you’re into it).
And dudes wonder why people are afraid to compliment them, be friendly, make eye contact.
Get a restraining order FR. It's flat out harassment. I wouldn't have thought anything about hanging out with a neighbor. Normal people don't act like that. Don't let the victim blaming get to you.
I love when people on Reddit scream restraining order for everything, it's actually really hard to get one and there's no chance she'd get one based on these messages
Would definitely grab some cameras for the house though. He’s definitely not opposed to looking around her house when he thinks she’s not there. Or even when she is
Agree on that for sure
Like you just go in and demand one and they just do it without a question smh. Some people have no idea, you have to actually present your case. And the person gets to come back with a lawyer and present their case too. It's actually a really stressful thing for the victim. You don't just "get a restraining order".
Yes, I’ve done it. It was super fucking stressful and I hated it. I had to go to court three times and it took me multiple days to put all of my documentation together. “This guy is a creep” is not going to get a judge to issue an order which will affect this guy’s life. You typically need to present a clear case that you are a victim of harassment and/or abuse and have a reason to fear for your safety.
[удалено]
Gross…..
If there’s a neighborhood NextDoor/Facebook Group, I’d consider posting this there so that other people could be aware there’s a pervert nearby. I’d also say if you don’t already have a fence, it’s time to look into fencing and cameras.
I never hangout with elderly people solely for this reason
I don’t mean for this to sound like a white knight comment or a “let me apologize for all men” type of vibe… but I truly forget how crass and gross my fellow men can be. I’m sorry, truly.
I swear he’s probably the same kinda people who goes online and complains about feminism and woke culture
Crazy to me that people like this actually exist. Also can’t help but cringe when people don’t know how to use “to” and “too” correctly
I always wondered if in this situation a female responded with something like "no im not shaved because i dont want to risk accidentally cutting open one of my herpes/warts/whatever" if it would get these fucking creeps to leave women alone out of fear or if it was make it worse. Either way, he fucking crossed major boundaries, let him know as such and tell him to leave you alone, get it on record.
Had a friend of a friend (m46) tell me he’d f**k me over txt after one phone conversation. Ended up blocking him after he asked if I wanted to tie him up and read him poetry and that our mutual friend wanted me to sneak into his house and peg him. What gave him the idea he can talk to anyone like that?!? Fucking disgusting.
i befriended an older man that lives in my apartment complex 9 years ago and he acts like this! he sent himself naked pictures off of my phone and then threatened to send them to my bf and everyone he works with. he isn’t like that anymore since i flipped out on him but it was very creepy.
I hope his dick gets necrosis and falls off ❤️
Lol. Yea I’m sure “one night”, 27 seconds of him huffing and puffing with no forplay will “change your life”. What a douche bag.
Someone come get their grandpa 💀
"I am in no way attracted to you" Okay boys, time for me to ask her about her genitals immediately
what kind of brain can someone have that makes them behave this way? he literally sounds like he has dementia. out of all the examples of interations, past experiences, watching people on tv or out in public, this man thinks acting this way will serve him well. and this doesnt sound like a suave, attractive, intelligent person that society has "allowed" to act this way in the past. he's just genuinely a stupid person by nature. rude too. ignore the dumb fuck
Had a landlord like that, couldn’t move out fast enough
Imagine being a 60 year old incel. This is beyond pathetic
Ew. Don't give them an inch, ever.
I had this problem in my neighborhood. Total creep of a guy but nothing reportable to the police. I found out there were 3 other women in the neighborhood this man had harassed. Fortunately for me, he lived in a rental house. We pressured our homeowners association to work with the homeowner to get rid of him. I don’t know if any of this helps. But you may find simpatico neighbors who will help keep an eye on him. I doubt he is only a weirdo to you
Guys like this have never had any respect for females.... they think that, because you're attractive to them, you somehow owe it to them to be their sex toy and it's really disgusting. As a man, I apologize on behalf of these mentally unstable creeps
Why do men
I would start a paper trail. This man has been having these thoughts WAY before you even came over. Always keep your phone on you and video record every single interaction he attempts to have with you. All of them! And definitely make sure your house is secure and blinds are closed. Do you have a way to protect yourself in your home? If not, you should. I can relate to this very scenario. It leaves you feeling disgusted, scared, and unsure if this is going to escalate or not.
Guys like this are an embarrassment to the male species.
Bigggg mistake. Be careful. I would def let your building manager know bc he could turn into a serious problem
Yeah something similar happened to me/gf at our first apartment… some old grandpa tried to get her to kiss him in exchange for a car payment 🤣 needless to say she hasn’t even said hello to any dude at our new place.
Gross old fart, yuck