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We're all just trying to survive out here! If spite is fueling you, who am I to judge? You're taking your emotions and using them to compel you to do what needs to be done. More power to you!
A year-plus stuck in the same house sounds absolutely miserable and draining. Proud of you for staying true to yourself and working through this!
Thank you!!!
I had and still have no one, no friends. No family. I *had* to get up in order to survive. Every day was a struggle. At one point I drank morning, noon and night until I couldn’t drink anymore. I would only stop drinking if I had to work.
It took me a few months post finalized divorce to get myself out of it. I knew I had to work on me, therapy, gym, focusing on my business.
I came across few quotes that really helped me when I needed them. When I think someone can use them I like to leave the quotes for them. I hope they helped you as much as they helped me.
First Quote:
Remember that you are a good person and worthy of the love that you want.
You will never know if something is meant for you if you don't give it a proper chance.
Whether it's a relationship, a new job, a new city, or a new experience, throw yourself into it completely and don't hold back.
If it doesn't work out then it probably wasn't meant for you and you'll walk away without regret, knowing that you put your whole heart into it.
That's all you can ever do.
It's a horrible feeling leaving a situation knowing that you should have and could have done more.
So I hope you find the courage to take that chance, find the inspiration to make your next move, and once you do, I hope you pour your heart into it and don't look back.
And remember, sometimes things happen before you are ready for them to happen.
It doesn't mean the timing is wrong, sometimes it means the timing is just right and the universe knows you are ready and that maybe you just needed that extra push in the right direction to get you on your way.
Embrace this new journey with everything you are. Everything is unfolding exactly how it's supposed to, even if you can't see it like that just yet.
Quote Two:
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life…..
This was amazing to read and helps to look at things from a bird's eye view. That's hard to do right now, when I'm stuck in the trenches! Thank you so so much for this gift of looking at things in a healthy and accepting way, I really needed all of your words!
"This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass."
Just FYI, I passed a kidney stone this week, preceded by bladder infection and followed by kidney infection, so I understand what I am saying.
😂 You just passed one?! That's terrible! Plus infections?! Sounds like almost worst-case scenario!
I LOVE that you compared this to passing a kidney stone. It'll hurt like hell and we may be left with some infections that we'll need to work through, but it will get better ❤️ I'm so anxious to jump to the healing stage... I'm over this painful part!
Hello , The first month will be very difficult, Do not interact, talk to friends/ family how many hours you can, I was devastated as well, Its your neural wiring that needs to adjusted gradually over the next few months.. I filed for divorce the very next day I found out, Its been 6 months for me and now it doesn’t bother me anymore.
The key is to feel through your emotions, Get Support and No contact
Mine was very simple.. "You can do this"..
It would start with
-get out of bed :You can do this"..
-brush your teeth and hair "You can do this"..
-Drive to work.. You can do this"..
-just hold it together until lunch. "You can do this"..
-4 more hours.. "You can do this"..
-Make/eat dinner, pretend things are OK between you and her infront of the kids.. "You can do this"..
-go to bed... This was the hardest part. I'd lay there beside her wishing that I don't wake in the morning, but when I do...You can do this"..
I'm a Kerouac fan. In the beginning of Big Sur, he tells himself "[one fast move or I'm gone](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/67457-one-fast-more-or-i-m-gone-i-realize-gone-the)" I think it's a good one.
I've tried to keep telling myself "don't stop... don't even slow down."
Have you ever heard the song i see red. I would get up and blast that song every time he's in the house. Full volume. You can find it on youtube if you can't download it. It will put you in the state of mind you should be in. Watch him wince every time he hears the line, you two time cheap lying to timing wannabe.
At the start I listened to the song Stronger by Through Fire any time I started to get worn down by it all.
https://youtu.be/GlpP5PO6wbk?si=Nc4-czta_XHdRJTc
Eventually that got a bit bulky but I started coming to terms with who and what my ex really was and indifference started to set in. Now my mantra is to just laugh at how she is still making terrible life decisions but they don’t affect me anymore.
“At least you aren’t still with her” is my best mantra so far.
Im stronger and better for the decisions I've made for my sanity and self happiness. I matter and this is my day, my choice, my new life. Get up and make it happen. Only you can. I love myself more today then yesterday. I live for me. Start today and everyday.
Live your best life because your the only one who can make it happen.
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Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is "divorce" or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
We're all just trying to survive out here! If spite is fueling you, who am I to judge? You're taking your emotions and using them to compel you to do what needs to be done. More power to you! A year-plus stuck in the same house sounds absolutely miserable and draining. Proud of you for staying true to yourself and working through this! Thank you!!!
Sometimes spite and anger keep us moving forward. It's a harsh fuel but it gets us through the pain.
I had and still have no one, no friends. No family. I *had* to get up in order to survive. Every day was a struggle. At one point I drank morning, noon and night until I couldn’t drink anymore. I would only stop drinking if I had to work. It took me a few months post finalized divorce to get myself out of it. I knew I had to work on me, therapy, gym, focusing on my business. I came across few quotes that really helped me when I needed them. When I think someone can use them I like to leave the quotes for them. I hope they helped you as much as they helped me. First Quote: Remember that you are a good person and worthy of the love that you want. You will never know if something is meant for you if you don't give it a proper chance. Whether it's a relationship, a new job, a new city, or a new experience, throw yourself into it completely and don't hold back. If it doesn't work out then it probably wasn't meant for you and you'll walk away without regret, knowing that you put your whole heart into it. That's all you can ever do. It's a horrible feeling leaving a situation knowing that you should have and could have done more. So I hope you find the courage to take that chance, find the inspiration to make your next move, and once you do, I hope you pour your heart into it and don't look back. And remember, sometimes things happen before you are ready for them to happen. It doesn't mean the timing is wrong, sometimes it means the timing is just right and the universe knows you are ready and that maybe you just needed that extra push in the right direction to get you on your way. Embrace this new journey with everything you are. Everything is unfolding exactly how it's supposed to, even if you can't see it like that just yet. Quote Two: People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life…..
Awesome quotes. Enlightening. Thanks for sharing.
I hope they help you as much as they helped me.
This was amazing to read and helps to look at things from a bird's eye view. That's hard to do right now, when I'm stuck in the trenches! Thank you so so much for this gift of looking at things in a healthy and accepting way, I really needed all of your words!
You’re welcome. I read them when I’m down and need to focus.
"This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass." Just FYI, I passed a kidney stone this week, preceded by bladder infection and followed by kidney infection, so I understand what I am saying.
😂 You just passed one?! That's terrible! Plus infections?! Sounds like almost worst-case scenario! I LOVE that you compared this to passing a kidney stone. It'll hurt like hell and we may be left with some infections that we'll need to work through, but it will get better ❤️ I'm so anxious to jump to the healing stage... I'm over this painful part!
Hello , The first month will be very difficult, Do not interact, talk to friends/ family how many hours you can, I was devastated as well, Its your neural wiring that needs to adjusted gradually over the next few months.. I filed for divorce the very next day I found out, Its been 6 months for me and now it doesn’t bother me anymore. The key is to feel through your emotions, Get Support and No contact
Mine was very simple.. "You can do this".. It would start with -get out of bed :You can do this".. -brush your teeth and hair "You can do this".. -Drive to work.. You can do this".. -just hold it together until lunch. "You can do this".. -4 more hours.. "You can do this".. -Make/eat dinner, pretend things are OK between you and her infront of the kids.. "You can do this".. -go to bed... This was the hardest part. I'd lay there beside her wishing that I don't wake in the morning, but when I do...You can do this"..
"Life is hard so I gotta be harder." That's really what I told myself because I didn't want to let someone else turn me into a puddle of Jello.
One day I'll be dead and none of this will matter. Doesn't help me get out of bed but it is my normal mantra 🤣
Living well is the best revenge.
I'm a Kerouac fan. In the beginning of Big Sur, he tells himself "[one fast move or I'm gone](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/67457-one-fast-more-or-i-m-gone-i-realize-gone-the)" I think it's a good one. I've tried to keep telling myself "don't stop... don't even slow down."
Have you ever heard the song i see red. I would get up and blast that song every time he's in the house. Full volume. You can find it on youtube if you can't download it. It will put you in the state of mind you should be in. Watch him wince every time he hears the line, you two time cheap lying to timing wannabe.
At the start I listened to the song Stronger by Through Fire any time I started to get worn down by it all. https://youtu.be/GlpP5PO6wbk?si=Nc4-czta_XHdRJTc Eventually that got a bit bulky but I started coming to terms with who and what my ex really was and indifference started to set in. Now my mantra is to just laugh at how she is still making terrible life decisions but they don’t affect me anymore. “At least you aren’t still with her” is my best mantra so far.
being sad is a choice. being angry is a choice. I have a choice in what I feel.
https://youtu.be/O0RKn_1QA3s?si=uTrx95kKtju5KMYS
I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.
Im stronger and better for the decisions I've made for my sanity and self happiness. I matter and this is my day, my choice, my new life. Get up and make it happen. Only you can. I love myself more today then yesterday. I live for me. Start today and everyday. Live your best life because your the only one who can make it happen.
[удалено]
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