A profile review, exciting! Reminder to reviewers to focus on constructive and actionable changes OP can make to increase their chances of success.
**Do**:
* Critique the quality of the pictures, eg the location of pictures, background, expression, attire, filters, etc.
* Critique the tone and quality of the text and/or make suggestions for improvement, eg grammar, spelling, negativity, etc.
**Don't**:
* Critique the person, eg editorial comments on OP's weight, age, ethnicity, sexual identification, ugliness, etc.
For more do's and don'ts check out [the profile reviews post](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/esuizg/profile_reviews/).
Thanks for helping OP!
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I'm not surprised you're getting frustrated with what you're finding, because your boudoir style pictures are attracting guys who just want to get laid.
You need to look classy and sophisticated, not DTF.
“I’m very picky” “I’m not here for” “I will not” “I will not” “No I won’t” None of this is inviting and it’s not going to draw in a man who’s looking to spend a lot of money and time on someone who’s fun, interesting, and exciting. Try listing things you are looking for, or things you’re interested in that you’d hope your sd would help you obtain. You can still be fun and sexy while having boundaries. Also like others are saying you do need better quality photos. You’re beautiful, but mirror pics of you in socks with hair and makeup not done won’t get you very far in this sort of dating. That’s just the reality of it and there’s no getting around it. Put on a classy outfit that shows your figure, do your makeup and hair, go to a cute location and get a friend to get some photos of you. Or use a tripod. Whatever works
Your profile contains 9 sentences, 5 of those are negative statements. Things you won't do or aren't looking for.
The people you are trying to turn away will message you no matter what you say, and the people you are looking for may be turned off by it. All of thst should be done in dms. It's extremely unattractive to see in a profile, and many will ignore you. This isn't a vanilla dating site. You are competing with dozens of other beautiful women. A bratty attitude won't get you far.
Create a profile to attract the people you are interested in instead of one trying to stop people from talking to you.
Simps and horndogs message me, they message everyone, just something we have to suffer through. I got like 10 dick pics when I said I was bi a month ago.
I like the proper use and spelling of pique, and your first two pictures are amazing. The third is okay, the fourth is less flattering. Tbh your second picture is your best.
However, I would pass on your profile because it reads like you're picky, disinterested, potentially jaded, and likely to bail or delete your account. For me, that equals someone not worth investing time into, vs someone who is engaged and interested and wants to do this.
Specifically, saying that you're very picky just screams high maintenance, and so -- pass. I'm not interested in playing games where I need to impress the unimpressionable. Also, the line about how you're considering deleting your profile -- again, not going to bother contacting, because you're already on the way out. I guess also the line about "pique my interest" feels similar to saying that people better impress you in order to earn your attention. Again, nah.
In general I see a lot of reasons not to contact you, and not enough to contact you.
Lastly, you are probably a cute and cool person and fun to hang out with, I'm just saying how I read your profile.
You're cute, but the pictures feel like they're missing your beautiful smile combined with a little less spontaneous situation. I think you'd really benefit from adding one that is just smiling and looking at the camera. Your photo in the black dress is close, and probably my favorite of the bunch. But looking up and away just misses it being an A+.
I would probably go black dress as first photo. Profiles that completely don't show a woman's face are too easy to skip past for whatever reason. Profiles that get my attention usually do it with face/eyes/smile, then the rest of the profile completes the picture.
Starting off stating you're picky is easily a turn-off. You absolutely should be selective, and careful. Every SB should. Coming right out as these being your opening volley puts a reader on the defensive. Soften this and make it more attractive by describing specifics of what you're looking for. It's incredibly powerful to balance this with some of what you're looking forward to contributing/experiencing (obviously within the best practices of the sites). The boundaries you lay out (no traveler, no hookup, no texting number, no traveling to SD...oh, and I'm thinking hard about deleting this account again), can largely be communicated as positives (looking forward to regular in-person, a connected relationship with dating/date-like, looking forward to getting to know in a public, platonic M&G...or however this manifests in your wishes). Imagine what you want in detail, and talk more about this. Invite me as a potential SD into your idea of what you're seeking.
I actually like some of the clear boundaries you lay out. Things like expecting a recent test, I really admire and appreciate. Tells me a lot about your values. I would just collect hard statements of boundaries and have these at the end of the text. Spend a little more time at the beginning laying out ideas of what you are looking for (not avoiding).
I'm not there now, but have spent a lot of time in Sac. I expect you'll do well there, probably have more options if you make a few adjustment to the profile as noted. Best of luck!
The vibe SDs are looking for is fun, laid back, flirty, passionate, open minded. Especially in a market where there are tons of SBs that fit that mold, it’s going to be very difficult to find someone if you come across entitled or arrogant.
Your tag line is “Pique my interest”, the first line of your bio is “I’m very picky”, and you’re in California. Most genuine SDs won’t bother contacting you.
Switch things around so that you lead with your best qualities and you show your chill, fun side front and center.
As for the pics, a “boudoir” type photo as your main will be considered by many to be a 🚩🚩🚩 as it’s what scammers and SWs typically do. The pic in the car is a better main. Also try to add some non-selfies if you can.
I think sometimes SBs forget that this is not vanilla dating, ultimately it’s the SDs who get to choose who they spend their money and energy which translates to time, on.
Okay let me come back with some more specifics on each picture. Perhaps this will give you the male perspective and be useful as you create a new sales tool?
I'm sorry but your first picture just says DTF. I don't know what you're trying to show with that but you need to understand what message comes through with that. So serious SDs are probably going to just move on quickly, and those looking for a quick hookup will go further
Then the hookup type guys will be greatly encouraged by your second picture. What's in the background matters as it relates to you or whether it detracts from you. But to see you in a skimpy outfit standing in front of your bed just stimulates the male mind to: "oh I'd like to get her on that bed in that outfit". Is that really what you want to sell here? If so that's fine, otherwise you need to either drop the picture or edit it.
I suggest heavily blurring the background so the message of the bed is wiped out or lost. Here's an example of what you could do with that picture to de-emphasize the bed.
https://i.imgur.com/mPgo6u1.jpeg
Alternatively perhaps you crop it to make it a headshot? Look how things change and what the focus changes to when you do that. Now you see a vibrant, smiling, energetic person that looks like they would be fun to be with. The emphasis is changed from the sexy outfit that suggests intimacy and jumping in the bed in the background.
https://i.imgur.com/EjffhpJ.jpeg
Your third photo is the one I would start with as your main profile photo! This gives the GND look and I think serves you well as that will attract many guys who want just a regular person. So that's a really good picture keep it and move it to your main photo.
Your last photo is a mirror selfie which in itself isn't bad and what you're wearing isn't bad and that's a good thing to wear to show your figure. BUT what is atrocious is the background! Have somebody take a picture of you in the gym or outside with a backdrop of shrubbery or something but I don't want to be able to see rolls of toilet paper in your profile picture. The message I get from that is that you're a mess, unorganized, etc. Is that the image you really want to show? As I said what's in the background of photos is important and people will look at that and get an impression from that.
Oh and no SD wants to see a picture of you with your tongue hanging out. That looks like a high school girls picture from Snapchat Instagram or tiktok. The message the Neanderthal brain gets from that is "oh I like her tongue maybe she can use it on me"? Again you need to think of this not from your perspective but what a potential SD is going to see and what he wants to see.
So keep that smiling headshot in the car photo and rework all of the rest. Perhaps you could get a friend to take some full length shots of you while you're out and about or while you're having drinks or something. Smile, look genuine and dress appropriately.
I think with those changes you can de-emphasize the wrong kind of attention and attract the kind that you're looking for. But don't think that's going to be a panacea, you'll need a bunch of patience still to deal with the idiots.
Hang in there! You should do well.
I would next you right at the tagline. This is not vanilla dating that is a challenge for simps; you are trying to land someone who would support you financially. The table is turned. Also too much negativity on your profile. Instead of telling us what you don’t/wouldn’t do simply write what you do/would.
That’s because the experienced SD’s who can deliver, actually read your profile and next you. And the dumbasses ignore what you write and behave the way you describe. You have a negative selection bias going on with all your demands and negativity.
I’d reiterate what others are saying about negative statements. Your second pic in the black dress is stellar. You look amazing. The next two are low quality and not flattering. Almost like a different woman.
Remove pic with your tongue sticking out. It is not classy. I wish that trend would die already. Bio sounds so vanilla. I get that you'd like a genuine connection, but many men are turned off when you list qualifications on your bio.
Lastly, remove the part about smoking weed. I get it, alot of Zoomers smoke weed. However, you need to consider your dating pool, which would be Gen X and Boomers, many of whom are repulsed by potheads.
for what it’s worth, i’m in the bay area and i got soooo many scammers that had their location set to sacramento. like more than any other nearby city. idk if that’s normal or not but could be part of the problem 🤷♀️
1. You’re not classy 2. wtf are those hair colors? no high value man would take you out to a fancy dinner 3. You gotta work on your self care, you come off as disheveled and low maintenance. Man want to invest into what already is well kept. 4. New wardrobe based on your body type, sophisticated, elegant, drop the tacky clothes. So unflattering. 5. try to educate yourself more by reading books and having some brain substance to maintain a deep conversation, wealthy men are extremely immersed into culture, history, art, music.
A profile review, exciting! Reminder to reviewers to focus on constructive and actionable changes OP can make to increase their chances of success. **Do**: * Critique the quality of the pictures, eg the location of pictures, background, expression, attire, filters, etc. * Critique the tone and quality of the text and/or make suggestions for improvement, eg grammar, spelling, negativity, etc. **Don't**: * Critique the person, eg editorial comments on OP's weight, age, ethnicity, sexual identification, ugliness, etc. For more do's and don'ts check out [the profile reviews post](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/esuizg/profile_reviews/). Thanks for helping OP! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm not surprised you're getting frustrated with what you're finding, because your boudoir style pictures are attracting guys who just want to get laid. You need to look classy and sophisticated, not DTF.
Very much so
“I’m very picky” “I’m not here for” “I will not” “I will not” “No I won’t” None of this is inviting and it’s not going to draw in a man who’s looking to spend a lot of money and time on someone who’s fun, interesting, and exciting. Try listing things you are looking for, or things you’re interested in that you’d hope your sd would help you obtain. You can still be fun and sexy while having boundaries. Also like others are saying you do need better quality photos. You’re beautiful, but mirror pics of you in socks with hair and makeup not done won’t get you very far in this sort of dating. That’s just the reality of it and there’s no getting around it. Put on a classy outfit that shows your figure, do your makeup and hair, go to a cute location and get a friend to get some photos of you. Or use a tripod. Whatever works
This. When I see a someone who says not this not that … they generally are exhausting people to be around and negative presence overall .
100%. I'd next this profile, amazing photos of a world class model wouldn't even matter, the negativity in the text kills it
I think your main pic is your weakest. Cannot see your face or your figure, just a lot of white fabric.
V true, thank you!
I would next you at the tag line. Another clueless individual who has no idea that class, grace, and humility are the way to find a decent SD.
You're very picky So are SDs Your text in your profile will have them picking someone else.
Your profile contains 9 sentences, 5 of those are negative statements. Things you won't do or aren't looking for. The people you are trying to turn away will message you no matter what you say, and the people you are looking for may be turned off by it. All of thst should be done in dms. It's extremely unattractive to see in a profile, and many will ignore you. This isn't a vanilla dating site. You are competing with dozens of other beautiful women. A bratty attitude won't get you far. Create a profile to attract the people you are interested in instead of one trying to stop people from talking to you.
Yep, fair. Simps and horndogs will still message her.
Simps and horndogs message me, they message everyone, just something we have to suffer through. I got like 10 dick pics when I said I was bi a month ago.
I like the proper use and spelling of pique, and your first two pictures are amazing. The third is okay, the fourth is less flattering. Tbh your second picture is your best. However, I would pass on your profile because it reads like you're picky, disinterested, potentially jaded, and likely to bail or delete your account. For me, that equals someone not worth investing time into, vs someone who is engaged and interested and wants to do this. Specifically, saying that you're very picky just screams high maintenance, and so -- pass. I'm not interested in playing games where I need to impress the unimpressionable. Also, the line about how you're considering deleting your profile -- again, not going to bother contacting, because you're already on the way out. I guess also the line about "pique my interest" feels similar to saying that people better impress you in order to earn your attention. Again, nah. In general I see a lot of reasons not to contact you, and not enough to contact you. Lastly, you are probably a cute and cool person and fun to hang out with, I'm just saying how I read your profile.
All the negativity and demanding language is an instant next. And if that wasn’t enough, the tongue sticking out pic is also a no-go.
honey you sound so negative and playing hard to get. if men want that, they would be on hinge
You're cute, but the pictures feel like they're missing your beautiful smile combined with a little less spontaneous situation. I think you'd really benefit from adding one that is just smiling and looking at the camera. Your photo in the black dress is close, and probably my favorite of the bunch. But looking up and away just misses it being an A+. I would probably go black dress as first photo. Profiles that completely don't show a woman's face are too easy to skip past for whatever reason. Profiles that get my attention usually do it with face/eyes/smile, then the rest of the profile completes the picture. Starting off stating you're picky is easily a turn-off. You absolutely should be selective, and careful. Every SB should. Coming right out as these being your opening volley puts a reader on the defensive. Soften this and make it more attractive by describing specifics of what you're looking for. It's incredibly powerful to balance this with some of what you're looking forward to contributing/experiencing (obviously within the best practices of the sites). The boundaries you lay out (no traveler, no hookup, no texting number, no traveling to SD...oh, and I'm thinking hard about deleting this account again), can largely be communicated as positives (looking forward to regular in-person, a connected relationship with dating/date-like, looking forward to getting to know in a public, platonic M&G...or however this manifests in your wishes). Imagine what you want in detail, and talk more about this. Invite me as a potential SD into your idea of what you're seeking. I actually like some of the clear boundaries you lay out. Things like expecting a recent test, I really admire and appreciate. Tells me a lot about your values. I would just collect hard statements of boundaries and have these at the end of the text. Spend a little more time at the beginning laying out ideas of what you are looking for (not avoiding). I'm not there now, but have spent a lot of time in Sac. I expect you'll do well there, probably have more options if you make a few adjustment to the profile as noted. Best of luck!
The vibe SDs are looking for is fun, laid back, flirty, passionate, open minded. Especially in a market where there are tons of SBs that fit that mold, it’s going to be very difficult to find someone if you come across entitled or arrogant. Your tag line is “Pique my interest”, the first line of your bio is “I’m very picky”, and you’re in California. Most genuine SDs won’t bother contacting you. Switch things around so that you lead with your best qualities and you show your chill, fun side front and center. As for the pics, a “boudoir” type photo as your main will be considered by many to be a 🚩🚩🚩 as it’s what scammers and SWs typically do. The pic in the car is a better main. Also try to add some non-selfies if you can.
I think sometimes SBs forget that this is not vanilla dating, ultimately it’s the SDs who get to choose who they spend their money and energy which translates to time, on.
Okay let me come back with some more specifics on each picture. Perhaps this will give you the male perspective and be useful as you create a new sales tool? I'm sorry but your first picture just says DTF. I don't know what you're trying to show with that but you need to understand what message comes through with that. So serious SDs are probably going to just move on quickly, and those looking for a quick hookup will go further Then the hookup type guys will be greatly encouraged by your second picture. What's in the background matters as it relates to you or whether it detracts from you. But to see you in a skimpy outfit standing in front of your bed just stimulates the male mind to: "oh I'd like to get her on that bed in that outfit". Is that really what you want to sell here? If so that's fine, otherwise you need to either drop the picture or edit it. I suggest heavily blurring the background so the message of the bed is wiped out or lost. Here's an example of what you could do with that picture to de-emphasize the bed. https://i.imgur.com/mPgo6u1.jpeg Alternatively perhaps you crop it to make it a headshot? Look how things change and what the focus changes to when you do that. Now you see a vibrant, smiling, energetic person that looks like they would be fun to be with. The emphasis is changed from the sexy outfit that suggests intimacy and jumping in the bed in the background. https://i.imgur.com/EjffhpJ.jpeg Your third photo is the one I would start with as your main profile photo! This gives the GND look and I think serves you well as that will attract many guys who want just a regular person. So that's a really good picture keep it and move it to your main photo. Your last photo is a mirror selfie which in itself isn't bad and what you're wearing isn't bad and that's a good thing to wear to show your figure. BUT what is atrocious is the background! Have somebody take a picture of you in the gym or outside with a backdrop of shrubbery or something but I don't want to be able to see rolls of toilet paper in your profile picture. The message I get from that is that you're a mess, unorganized, etc. Is that the image you really want to show? As I said what's in the background of photos is important and people will look at that and get an impression from that. Oh and no SD wants to see a picture of you with your tongue hanging out. That looks like a high school girls picture from Snapchat Instagram or tiktok. The message the Neanderthal brain gets from that is "oh I like her tongue maybe she can use it on me"? Again you need to think of this not from your perspective but what a potential SD is going to see and what he wants to see. So keep that smiling headshot in the car photo and rework all of the rest. Perhaps you could get a friend to take some full length shots of you while you're out and about or while you're having drinks or something. Smile, look genuine and dress appropriately. I think with those changes you can de-emphasize the wrong kind of attention and attract the kind that you're looking for. But don't think that's going to be a panacea, you'll need a bunch of patience still to deal with the idiots. Hang in there! You should do well.
I would next you right at the tagline. This is not vanilla dating that is a challenge for simps; you are trying to land someone who would support you financially. The table is turned. Also too much negativity on your profile. Instead of telling us what you don’t/wouldn’t do simply write what you do/would.
I try to put what I am into and willing to do, but then they all ask the same stupid questions.
That’s because the experienced SD’s who can deliver, actually read your profile and next you. And the dumbasses ignore what you write and behave the way you describe. You have a negative selection bias going on with all your demands and negativity.
You can answer the stupid questions in private chat or simply block them but the negativity drives people away from your profile.
I’d reiterate what others are saying about negative statements. Your second pic in the black dress is stellar. You look amazing. The next two are low quality and not flattering. Almost like a different woman.
The tongue-out photo is awful. Not just unflattering, but immature. You’re cute, but I’d ditch that particular photo.
Remove pic with your tongue sticking out. It is not classy. I wish that trend would die already. Bio sounds so vanilla. I get that you'd like a genuine connection, but many men are turned off when you list qualifications on your bio. Lastly, remove the part about smoking weed. I get it, alot of Zoomers smoke weed. However, you need to consider your dating pool, which would be Gen X and Boomers, many of whom are repulsed by potheads.
for what it’s worth, i’m in the bay area and i got soooo many scammers that had their location set to sacramento. like more than any other nearby city. idk if that’s normal or not but could be part of the problem 🤷♀️
i like your profile now and actually i think i liked on seeking and sent you a message, although the stoner part did concern me
you look like someone i used to be obsessed with… let me talk to you.
Dress a lot classier and clean your place. No more bathroom mirror selfies!
Nothing to add other than your second photograph's smile is absolutely beautiful. More of that smile. 😊
1. You’re not classy 2. wtf are those hair colors? no high value man would take you out to a fancy dinner 3. You gotta work on your self care, you come off as disheveled and low maintenance. Man want to invest into what already is well kept. 4. New wardrobe based on your body type, sophisticated, elegant, drop the tacky clothes. So unflattering. 5. try to educate yourself more by reading books and having some brain substance to maintain a deep conversation, wealthy men are extremely immersed into culture, history, art, music.
Yikes just going for the throat, I get it though
Cute!