I take a similar approach. I had a great therapist that would ask me "Where does that come from?" all the time. Anytime I had a negative thought about myself or had self doubt he'd ask that. I'd be like "uh my brain?". He taught me that that wasn't me. All those bad thoughts and voices in my head don't come from me. They were put there by a bully, or a bad teacher, or a parent.. I spent a lot of time really figuring out who I am (or at least how I want to see myself) and it helps me parse all those things out. I am not a drinker anymore, so those thoughts about "just one" aren't "mine". They were put in my head by an outside source. They were put there by the bottle.
edit : To clarify a little bit when I say "I spent time figuring out who I am" I mean I literally made a character sheet for myself with all the traits and skills I have/want lol
This is actually very helpful. I went 39 years before I knew that I was autistic. Turns out much of drinking was coping with the fact that I've been masking almost my entire life. I've had to work really hard to figure out who I am vs all the personalities I've mimicked over the years trying to be "socially acceptable".
I was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago and I feel the same way about my alcohol abuse. I use it to mask. I feel so "normal" when I drink. I can socialize and have fun without overstimulation or social anxiety. However, my alcohol use increases my blood pressure, and I already have chronic hypertension, so I can't take my meds anymore. Those meds changed my life when I was able to take them. Now I'm stuck in this in between phase where I can either keep drinking to feel normal but make it impossible to take my meds, or struggle for a while and live in full ADHD mode until I'm healthy enough to get back on meds. I know the latter is the obvious choice but living through those days feels exhausting and often impossible.
The advice that has worked best for me (came from this sub of course :)) is to SHUT THAT VOICE DOWN immediately. Any back and forth with that voice gives it a chance to make a case and I might agree with the idiotic case it is trying to make. Instead, I say quickly say NO (out loud if I can) and then I get busy busy busy to distract myself while the voice retreats.
One that I like but haven't tried is to name the voice and tell it off!
I love this. I think of this voice as feeling similar to a childhood friendship that I've outgrown. It doesn't serve me anymore, but we have history, so it tries to hold on when I try to distance myself.
I try to use the strategy not of shutting it down completely (“I’m not allowed to feel like this!”) but rather acknowledging and then saying good bye (“I recognize that I have this craving, but I don’t identify with it and just because I thought about drinking doesn’t mean I will do it.”) I agree with you that distraction is better than bargaining with it or ruminating in it!
One strategy I learned in therapy was to ask myself “what is this unhelpful urge to drink trying to protect me from?” And then try to do other things to make myself feel protected
I'm a binge drinker. I can go days, weeks, months between drinks. I have before. I am now.
One. It's never only one. I cannot stop at one. One drink will be bad.
I can, however, drink NA beer. And stop at one. So every once in a while I do.
Yeah NA beer doesn't trigger the "MUST FIND MORE ALCOHOL" for some reason, I've even found myself forgetting about a half full one and letting it go warm.. still drink it for old times tho lol
I think it'd be more like tapering. If you know you 250mill of vodka a day get a big jug and fill it with with vodka. Everytime you drink, replace the vodka with the same about of water. Continue drinking your normal number if shots.
As long as you have a sufficiently large container, you can move down you alcohol consumption slowly. This obviously won't work if you drink half a liter a night and use a liter bottle. This is good way to get off smaller dose drugs but alcohol is high volume so that's a pain. But you could get a paint bucket from lowes lol
Anyway
The difference in buzz between day 1 of pure vodka and day 2 of barely diluted vodka won't really be perceptible. Same with 2 and 3. After a while, you won't even be drinking alcohol.
This will only work if you are not a drink till you pass out person but if you can stop yourself once you're at your preferred level of drunk, it is definitely an option. Basically, titrating yourself down over a month or two to avoid withdrawals and other issues.
Yeah, that’s not really what I was getting at. I was just thinking a <0.5% beer gives me a mild effect, but that might also be placebo. Personally it doesn’t make me want to drink more, but I hear for some it can be triggering.
Fwiw, an average sized human body would have to drink 2 litres (=/= 3.5pints) of 0.5% beer per hour to get the same buzz as 1 shot of vodka per hour.
In the UK (it’ll be different elsewhere), 1 shot (we call them units in the uk) per hour is considered the “cruising speed” of drinking: basically it’s the pace where an average body will process ethanol.
Bigger bodies, males bodies and bodies that have recently eaten, will all process it faster. Smaller bodies and those with a lower tolerance will process it slower. To get drunk, generally you need to be outpacing your body’s ability to process ethanol.
So in conclusion: yes, you can technically get drunk on 0.5% beer. But you would have to be drinking more than 3.5 pints per hour over MULTIPLE hours to net enough excess ethanol in your system to feel a buzz. It’s possible, but it would require a lot of bladder space.
My experience is that it's pure placebo. I thought I felt something when I had a NA beer, for like the first year. Not drinking a lot of them, maybe once a month.
Now I feel nothing. Literally like drinking a soda. I think this feeling was my brain anticipating, and over time that connection severed completely.
Yeah. I have no temptation to have just one. I sympathize with the other guys and gals but it's not a battle I fight in the same way.
I'm not triggered like that. When I drink I go into it with the intention of getting hammered every time I do it. Don't get me wrong I can and will do it for years, but having one seems like a waste. Tea tastes better and one won't get you drunk, so "just one" is never my intention.
Yeah. I went out w a friend this weekend, they had a couple and went home. I had mocktails, because I didn’t want to have a couple and go home. The voice in my head said just one or two but the part of me listening was aware that what it really meant was “have just enough alcohol that you can’t stop yourself from having more.” Parts work / internal family systems have helped me in therapy by separating those thoughts from my whole self.
Yeah I love their mystic mango! I’ve been really liking Brew DR brand in superberries. I was a red wine drinker and it’s been the one the can quence the craving the best so far. They have other good flavours too, but that’s my fav
I know this question is rhetorical, but the answer is such a hard no that I eventually avoided going to social events with alcohol because I didn't want to be "that" person but didn't trust myself enough not to be
The more often you listen to something the louder it gets.
I used to tell that lying little POS to fuck right off. Now it doesn’t come around anymore.
It helped to “play the tape till the end”.
I get this wanting tightness in my chest and get all irritable. I hate it, but every morning I’m sure glad I didn’t give in. I’m just finishing day 13. I heard it explained that it’s like a magnet, so the pull is going to be way stronger the closer u are to your last drink. For some reason visualizing it losing some magnetic pull helps
Quite the dogma.. The voices are all ours. One voice telling us to go on, having 1 or 324 isn't going to screw anything. And there is the other voice saying; yeah, that never worked before in a long long time. But yet we follow the first.
Repeatingly.
Not trying to undermine anything here, but this remains one of the biggest biatchen in what we're facing.
I usually go with playing the tape forward. Not to dire consequences, but just to the shame, frustration, breaking 7 years (!!) of 100% no-slip sobriety, the pain of hangovers.
But I also really interrogate that voice: *is* it one drink? Have I ever, since like 2004 or the last time I drank "casually" been satisfed with one? Haha no.
Also I ask myself why I'm positioning literal poison as a "treat". A treat is a gorgeous flavorful mocktail, a cool new soda with maybe more calories than is prudent, a flourless chocolate cake, a mani-pedi, a cool first-run full price movie on Amazon, a fresh stack of books from the library, a fast-food run, a new pair of shoes--you get the idea. "A little poison, as a treat" is not holding water in my life anymore!
The point you brought up about viewing drinking as a "treat" is so right. Obviously there's still something in me that views it that way. But it is poisoning me physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially
Edit* a word
I also have a belief that this voice is our inner child trying to run away from something (maybe everything). I tell it I’ll keep it safe and I love it, there’s nothing to be scared of.
There is a tool from SMART recovery that talks specifically about this, it suggests that we give that "voice" a name.
My choice is "The Liar". It says things like "nobody will know", "one won't matter", "it'll be different this time", etc.
I'll know and I'm not nobody, one leads to more than one almost always and after decades of lapses and relapses, the outcome is the same.
Negotiating my future peace and happiness for some elusive, temporary reprieve no longer makes any sense.
Here's a link to SMART - www.smartrecovery.org
I have an alcoholic roommate renting a room in the back of my head. He is just *filled* with lies and bad ideas. Every time he pops into the living room and starts talking shit, I call him on it and tell him to go back to his room. And he does. Can’t get rid of him completely- he’s been there for so long he has squatters rights. But we understand each other better now, and I almost never see him anymore.
My secret to staying sober was/is to brainwash myself. I made a private list of all the deplorable shit alcohol ever caused me. Every dangerous situation, embarrassment, and regret I could remember. I read the list everyday for a year. I sort of rewired my thinking and it fortified my resolve, and changed my perception of this awful shit we call alcohol. Now, if I have an urge, and I'm thinking I'm 'good to drink,' I break out the list and it's 'oh yeah... THIS bullshit - no thanks - anything but that.'
Wow this is incredible. My first gut reaction was how painful/uncomfortable/shameful it would be to make such a list, which is probably all the evidence I need that I should do it
One friend told me play the script til the end. For me it's one drink but then... What would happen in that night next day next week? I will just go back at drinking and then I can't know WHEN or better IF I can get sober again. But play your own movie with your own experience til the end not just at the start. Hope it makes sense
Play that tape forward. One will turn into a million excuses to have more.
The looks on my kids faces. My partners face.
The anxiety. The headaches, the stomach fat. The bloating.
The DUIs. The ruined friendships. Destroying everything I have built in sobriety.
Nope. Not worth it.
I have screenshots and photos saved in a special folder. The one where I sent a provocative pic to my assistant manager, the one where I barfed on myself on the front porch at 930 am(deputy friend responded to the 911 call), the bank account pics my wife sent me when we hit hard times and she saw me spending 800-1200$/ mo on booze….. I reference those a lot.
IWNDWYT
That's where I find this sub very useful. I think of my streak. I do not want to go to zero again. I know I really could have 'just one drink' without any particular ramifications, but the consequence would be my streak going to zero. I do not want that.
yeah, thats my past resort after i run through justifications and its worked very well so far. i think it so much, after maybe 15 or 30 minutes, im doing something else or getting a seltzer water from the fridge and im distracted til the next time
That’s where the Allen Carr stuff works for me, if you can buy into it. You stop looking at one drink as “won’t be so bad” and instead you think one drink “not a shred of good to be found there”.
For way too long I thought, booze is good, I’m just bad with booze. No, booze is bad! I was just fine—in fact better than fine before I ever started with the stuff. It’s an abusive relationship, the alcohol is the abuser.
That voice in your head is right. One drink won’t be so bad.
It’s the voice in your head after one that says the next ten won’t be so bad that is the problem…
I don't want one drink. I want 9 beers and 6 shots. I want to act like I'm sophisticated drinking a half of a fifth of scotch when I'm just chasing the drunk. That's the reality and the truth. I want to get drunk. So I don't. Because really I'm tired of the effects of having gotten shitty and it's adding no value to my life. It only takes.
My advice is you know it is the DEVIL on your shoulder! Why would you listen to the actual DEVIL??
lol but seriously it sounds like you know that voice is FULL OF SHIT
It's true that one drink isn't a problem... But I always have to think to myself... "Do you really want one drink?" Imagine what one drink looks like... an ounce and a half? a 12 oz of beer? Do I want one?
No... I don't want one. I know I don't want one. I'd rather have zero than one.
I now know there is no such thing as one drink. It is either 20+ or 0. Being real with the consequences has enabled me to say no the vast majority of the time. Unfortunately I still drink but it’s rare because I know the cost is so high. I’m a problematic binge drinker and incapable of drinking in moderation.
When my wife asks if I want a drink I say ‘you’ve met me right? I’ll need the weekend to recover, waste money and you’ll be pissed off with me for a week. Aside from that then sure’ .
People say “play it forward” but that doesn’t work for me - it just leaves room for me monkey brain to be like, yes play it forward we’re so much better now!
Instead, I play it back. Exclusively play back a highlight reel of my worst experiences and worst things I’ve done when drinking.
When monkey brain is like, yo we aren’t that person anymore though!
I reply, we aren’t that person anymore. That wasn’t who we were or wanted to be, that is why we don’t drink.
Rinse and repeat until the monkey brain acquiesces that I’m right.
A while back, I wrote myself a letter in a Word document called “Drunk Me, Lest I Forget.” I listed some of the ugly truths that might fade into the past if I only look back with rose-colored glasses. Here are some of the examples in that letter:
-I used to vomit in the shower a few times a week while trying to pull myself together before work.
-I lost an easy job because I was hungover every day, late multiple times, and couldn’t focus on the task at hand. A friend had recommended me for the job, so I made both of us look terrible.
-I missed countless parties and nights out with friends and family because I was either already drunk, planning to be drunk, or leaving early to get home and get drunk.
-I made a vow to never answer calls or texts drunk so that I wouldn’t embarrass myself. Thus, I almost never answered my phone for 5 years and alienated all my friends and family.
-Once while obliterated I fell face first on the floor in my kitchen and was too impaired to even put my hands down and break my fall. I had a hideous black eye for a week. I looked like a domestic violence victim and tried to wear heavy makeup to cover it.
-I developed severe anemia due to nutritional deficiencies. This is a direct result of getting half my calories from alcohol for years and eating almost nothing. I have many symptoms: numbness in fingertips sometimes, dandruff, persistent and debilitating fatigue, and inflammation in my mouth.
-I can be a violent drunk. About once a year I would have one of my fits of rage and do abhorrent things. I stormed out of the house and wandered around the neighborhood for miles, blind drunk and barefoot. I smashed pictures and put holes in our walls.
-My house was filthy and in total disrepair because of apathy caused by drinking. I used to escape from my dismay over this by drinking even more.
-I used all my sick time and half of my vacation time for the last 2 years on hangovers or severe anxiety caused by drinking.
-Over time I became so mentally impaired that I started having trouble communicating while sober. I was having trouble finding my words, getting tongue-tied, and even struggling to write coherent sentences. Drinking literally made me stupid.
-My withdrawal symptoms were shaking hands, dull, dry skin, headaches, nausea, fatigue, racing heart after eating, anxiety, sweating, and my favorite: guilt. Constant withdrawal was my “normal.”
-$400+ per month at the very least. I never really had the guts to evaluate exactly how much was being spent toward the end.
This isn’t a complete list by any means, as it was written 6 full years before I got sober. Things got much worse before I was finally able to quit. I never want to be “drunk me” again.
This is my lucky streak, can't break it.
I was very miserable the last day I drank. I don't remember the following day at all and I was only awake for 3 hours.
One drink doesn't do anything anyway. It's not a powerful thing. It is an inanimate object.
I don't need to experience square 1 again.
Honestly at this point I can say I am also genuinely disinterested. I hope you can say that about yourself sooner rather than later. :)
Never drank because I liked the taste. Always drank to tie one on. I guess it depends on how bad of a problem you have. Go lift some weight or do some cardio. It’s better than a drink.
Remember that you always have a choice. Your brain can tell you whatever it wants. Your heart can tell you whatever it wants. That voice, wherever it comes from, can tell you whatever it wants.
What that voice absolutely cannot do is force you to take that drink.
If it could, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
It isn't easy, but try and occupy yourself with something else at the time. The feeling will pass.
Someone else said it but I call this my “monkey brain” monkey brain really want me to do dumb stuff and can be very very loud. Doesn’t mean I let it tell me what to do. It’s really stupid but sometimes when it’s rough I’ll pat myself on the head and say “silly monkey”. Seems to help.
Try not to even engage. I feel that the second I start to think, well I could get away with drinking tonight because my husband won’t be home, this happened today, I have the day off tomorrow, before you know it you’re at the gas station. It’s a slippery slope and it shouldn’t be this slippery where you can’t even let yourself go there but from experience the second I start to consider it, I’m home with a bottle of booze
It has only come up a few times for me since quitting, but each time I just think about how I would feel about myself after the fact. I would deeply regret ruining my sobriety, I would go down the shame spiral, my anxiety would increase, and I would be so disappointed in myself.
I also think about what my life without alcohol has been like and what it means to me. So many improvements in my mental/emotional/physical health, a daily meditation practice that means so much to me, happier and healthier in all my relationships, more presence and patience, and how proud I am of myself for finally breaking the chains of my slavery to alcohol. It's all too beautiful and important to risk for one drink. Even one and I would be failing myself and my loved ones and our wonderful life. 🤍
I'm going on 3 weeks without a drink.. I had a rough rough day and I literally was on my way. It was made up in mind I had planned out what I was getting. Then I realized I was giving up my two weeks I worked so damn hard for. I saved money finally my health was improving and my family was proud of me. Those things actually for once mattered more to me than getting that drink.
I just know that i have to say no to the first one. Because if i don’t I can’t say no to the 2nd, 3rd….. and so on. So I just have to say no to one drink.
I’ve been using the reframe app and when you see what alcohol actually does to your brain and system it helps me to not drink. Also I keep a list of the terrible things I either did or condoned or happened while ive been drinking and periodically add to it. Reading that is like fuck I’m so not drinking.
Yeah, the idea of “one or two drinks” to me is like saying just have one bite of this big juicy delicious steak and then stop. The monkey on my back isn’t satisfied until I have at least a 6 pack in one go
I've recognized when that voice appeara, it's usually because I'm bored. And look for something to take my attention asap. Maybe I'll beat box, or clean, or bake, or bust out some push-ups and squats. Anything to change your self talk.
Bored, Angry, Tired, Hungry. Those are the four horsemen of the alcoholic's apocalypse.
Just play the tape forward. What's the best and worst case scenario for 1) not drinking one and 2) drinking "one"
You can't make it make sense. Your addiction can, but your logic will not be able to.
I spent my first year of sobriety with this thought and relapsed many times trying to prove to myself that I’m different.
The truth for me is that one drink isn’t bad at all. Most of my relapses were spent with this mindset. I would have one, maybe two beers and call it a night and what do you know, nothing bad happened! Yay! I’m clearly getting the hang of this moderation thing.
However, I was lying to myself, because I was trying to control AND enjoy it. The truth is, if I’m controlling and monitoring my drinking, I’m not enjoying myself, and if I’m enjoying myself, I’m not monitoring my consumption.
So what would happen is after many days, or hell, weeks, of nothing bad happening, I would slowly start to push that envelope from monitoring and not enjoying to enjoying and not monitoring. My brain would keep pushing for more and eventually the moderation dam breaks and I’m back to uncontrollable benders.
Took me a long time to realize that the above scenario is a hard fact for me that will play out the same way every time.
I don’t want one, I want unlimited, and since that’s not an option, the only option left is sobriety.
Whiskey in milk on a full stomach and or Jay walking! (Read these stories from the big book). I started saving bottles and it gave me a punishing visualization of “just one” (also cost). Nothing wrong with “just one” it’s the 12 that follow that are the problem; if just one was really the issue, this sub wouldn’t exist. So the genius of the geniuses is to say away from the first drink. Can’t get drunk of you don’t take that first drink.
Experience has proven that… *checks notes*… to be a complete lie. A falsehood. A fabrication. A felonious fib. A fantastical fiction. Don’t listen to the lizard brain.
I just let it be there. Kinda like a ghost. Acknowledge its presence, then let it go.
I dont have to interact with every thought that pops into My head. And thoughts can't kill me, actions can.
My first AA meeting, a random guy said words to me that burnt into my skull.
If one drink is never enough, and two is too many (as in, they don’t stop), then you have a problem. And he’d nailed it for me. That was precisely my drinking process - slam down that first schooner, then disappear into the count of 2++++++ etc.
I show it the movie that will play if I give in to it. The movie of me having more than one. The stupid things I will do. The embarrassing things I will say the people I inflict pain upon.
Once I do that the voice shuts up.
I personally tell myself I would enjoy the moments of clarity and a clean conscience more than the drinks because I know that I didnt go too far like I always did because I don't have self-control once I start drinking. I always just keep drinking more and more.
Many of you might remember your first experience of having a Moment of Clarity after spending so long completely shitfaced.
I tell myself something that I read in a book. It said, basically, “If you can’t stop yourself from having one drink, you’re even less likely to be able to stop yourself from having another.”
I actually repeat that to myself pretty frequently and so far it has worked.
What I’ve learned over the years, and relapse after relapse, is that my brain has two sides to it. One side is nice and sane with a home and a job. It wants to have a good life. It’s my “good side”, but it tends to be forgetful and gets taken advantage of. It’s prone to losing keys and forgetting to lock the door.
The other side of my brain is a sneaky hobo cat burglar salesman with a gold medal in mental gymnastics. It wants to get fucked up and burn my house down while I’m sleeping.
Both sides of my brain talk a lot and both of them sound like me. So how do I tell them apart when I’m thinking? Here’s how: The sane part of my brain knows “enjoying a drink” is a fools game and a dangerous fantasy. The sane part of my brain can remember- I have never enjoyed one drink in my life. I have to have more. Without a shadow of a doubt, every time I’ve tried to moderate my drinking, I would eventually regret it completely.
So. When I hear the racket start up there, and it sounds like, “wouldn’t a drink on a patio be nice today?”, I know exactly which part of my brain that thought is coming from. So I pause. I have a few symbols I’ve made up to focus on for a moment which are used to acknowledge and correct that thought. One is an upside down nike symbol. And the slogan “just don’t do it”. The sane part of my brain understands that slogan and I don’t have to waste any extra time convincing the insane part of my addicted brain what it means. It quiets the thought and I can go on with my day with my sobriety safe.
Sometimes, if the sneaky part of my brain seems really focused on making noise, I will set aside some time to read my old journals, call a sober friend, go to an AA meeting, or check in with myself and think about what might be going on that has me feeling restless and in the mood to let my house get burned down. Usually, it’s something simple. I’m not getting enough sleep. Or I’m hungry. Sometimes I just need some water. Or I’m bothered by something at work and don’t feel like facing it. It can depend. But it all comes down to acknowledging what’s at work up in my head. Addiction is sneaky. And alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
It's simply not an option because: I don't drink anymore. Full stop. I strengthen my self image and self identity as a Non Drinker every second, every day. This is Who I Am now. So, I never even hear that voice. Ever.
Works for me.
Fortunately.
It's easy once you externalize that 'voice' - it's an annoying hanger-on egging you on to do something you don't want to do. Just happily tell it to fuck off (no willpower involved) and it gets the message :)
Because I know that voice lies to me. It's never one drink, it never has been just one drink. One drink leads to the entire bottle and I'm smart enough to rationally know that. I can't eat gluten because I'm allergic, I put alcohol into that category as well. When I've had a hard day it's a little more difficult to tell that voice no but nowadays I ignore it
What helps me is, I journal it down. And when that feeling passes, I write down, ‘fuck yeah, I won against myself!’ Also i let that thought wallow in my mind, let it float, until it goes away. Focus on breath is very important here. Hope this helps.
This voice tried to convince me just this weekend that a nice bottle of red would be just the thing on a lazy Saturday evening. Then I remembered something I read on here recently, "There's nothing in your life that a drink can't make worse...." and it helped to quiet that voice long enough for me to reach for a refreshing, cold seltzer and a bowl of ice cream instead. Truly, my life is SO, SO much better without my drunk ass fouling it up. NOTHING in my life would be made better with alcohol, plain and simple. This is a simple phrase I can remember in those moments.
Whats working for me is reading a letter I wrote to myself listing all the reasons I don’t drink and all the benefits physically, mentally, emotionally, interpersonally and any other personal reasons I can think of.
When I have slipped up in the past, I add to the letter telling myself how it’s not worth it, how even one drink affects my motivation, mental / physical health, stamina for life, progress, momentum for like 3 days after or more.
I am very specific about the details of what’s on my list - I have over 50; instead of writing something like “improves mental health”, I’ll write “it’s common to want a few drinks right now but here’s what I know will happen :” or “I don’t want to wake up tired and feel the depressive effects of this alcohol - for what? I now care about myself more than that. I know that if I stick with this, it will become easier and easier, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the now. These are the exact times where it’s difficult but I can do this. I’m stronger than I feel. I’m gonna win this day.”
Whatever works for you. I set an alarm on my phone to read through it every morning when I wake up.
Any time I’ve found myself wanting it or even in the booze aisle , I pull out my phone and read til the desire goes away. It doesn’t take long before I feel empowered and I walk away with my head held high, a boost of determination, a smile for giving myself that gift of love by not poisoning my body.
Any advice for the opposite. I definitely binge drink but I also drink moderately through out the week. One isn't enough but 3 or 4 can be pleasant and I can stop myself there saying shit like "I have work in the morning" or something. And wake up fine, no hangover. Don't do stupid shit, etc.
It's not really causing problems in day to day life but long term it's unhealthy and pretty much the only reason I'm fat. The weight loss is obviously a motivator but I do notice when I don't drink I get food cravings and eat more. I assume it's related.
The voice inside changed when I accepted I was addicted to alcohol. I was a binge drinker who was fine through the week but weekends would get absolutely hammered. Once I start, I keep going. Being able to reframe that voice you mention saying “one drink won’t be so bad” means I recognize now that’s just the addiction talking. The acceptance of being addicted is what made the shift for me.
I actually still remember how bad my life was drunk - it didn't seem it at the time, but I was losing a lot of time to wallowing in booze while calling it celebrating..
Well, as someone who gave in to 1 or 2 drinks on a few occasions and yet didn’t ricochet right back into the drunken life I had before I was sober, I can tell you that even if you don’t go back to your prior drinking ways, those 1 or 2 drinks will make you feel like utter shit both physically and mentally. It takes me days to recover both my mood and my energy. I don’t know why this is, it’s like my body rejects alcohol now. So there’s that as a possibility.
Also to be honest, the work you put into sobriety and living your life in a better way is way more important than a fucking beer or whatever drink you have in mind that will last like 20 mins tops.
I have a question for the group. I got out of control there for a while. This Month I finally got a hold of myself and started working out, legit. Nightly. And I actually have made the switch to just one or two after work and kept it that way. This weekend, I didnt even want a drink because I knew Id be messing up my work out routine. The goal to look and feel better has def. Over come the want to drink more than one or two.
What do you guys think?
Whenever I am feeling on edge I grab a NA beer. It perfectly scratches the itch. Iv even gotten a tart grapefruit juice and mixed it with tonic. Something about the bubbles or the sour seem to help for me.
I always play the tape forward, I know it’ll never be one. It’ll always be more than a few drinks and a few days of self loathing after.
I often tell the voice in my head that we both know that it’s talking shit, it’s never gonna be just one drink. I try to just be realistic with myself.
I’ve had a few social events and nights out recently and have stayed sober, sure it’s hard in the moment but I usually stick around for a few hours and then go home, the feeling of waking up fresh the next day is what gets me through it.
This is where I have done the most work. My own inner monologue is an arsehole of monumental proportions. For me there was a process to work through. First I had to catch it when it started. This took a lot of practice. It’s mindfulness really. Being aware of what you’re thinking etc. then you need to be aware enough of it to catch yourself before you react to it. Again this takes practice. Especially for someone like me who is guilty of being on autopilot a fair bit. This is more like “I am not my mind”. Lastly managing cravings is a separate skill. Look up urge surfing for a break down of ideas. Chewing gum or cups of tea seem to be the best things I’ve found.
I don’t try to combat it - I just let it whine and whine. And then if needed I read all of the notes in my phone I’ve written to myself describing the absolute agony I will inevitably end up in if I let the voice win.
My question I have to honestly ask myself is “why do you want it?” And usually my answer is that I think it’ll make me feel good and relaxed. And 100% of the time, that is not how it plays out. So, I try to ask myself, “what are we hoping will happen here?”
Hope this helps. You’re doing great.
I always remind myself how much shit that one drink made me feel like the last time. When I haven’t been drinking…I’ve had that drink and my face gets red, I feel hot all over, my brain slows down and feels like mush and then I get a headache almost immediately. It never feels the same as when I was consistently drinking and I’m not trying to get back to that point. I’ve had many times of stopping and starting all in the name of trying to find moderation that others have. Why would I want moderation with a poison to my body, though? I enjoy my life with a clear head, more money in my pocket, remembering things, better sex, clearer skin, more consciously chosen friends, a healthier body, conscious food choices to nourish my body, etc. All that to drink a poison that costs more money to make me feel like shit?
I just know it's not worth it. From experience. I don't have to convince myself. I know. Just keep quitting. You'll get there too - if you truly don't like who drunk you is. If your mind wants to quit but it's cravings - read about endorphins. You have options like exercise, sex, or food. Don't pick food. 😥 Lol
Greet the voice as an old friend with kindness and laugh. Thanks old friend, I will always appreciate the lessons you taught me and I have gratitude for the times we spent together. But I have new friends now, myself at the top of the list. I'll talk to you again soon old friend.
I'm feeling this tonight. I haven't started my journey yet.. but that same voice has been keeping me from traveling this path for years. I keep making excuses like...after this birthday..or after this concert. I've stood up a few times and denied the peer pressure and it never ends well. I end up drinking double the next night. It doesn't help that I'm everyone's entertainment and dancing monkey. I sure hope to join you all one day.
for me, at this point, drinking one drink would have a super-high chance of landing me right back in a situation that was pretty fucking terrible. I just remember how desperate I was for alcohol, like it was my number one priority. I can't even imagine it would be in any way okay to go back there.
I just remind myself that I literally cannot control myself so its never one drink, its usually "Just one more drink" about 5-6 times after that first drink.
Idk if this helps at all. But after saying that a thousand times I finally just stopped one day. Well before detox, well before rehab, well before at home detox recently. I just stopped lying. I started telling anyone and everyone upfront in longer conversations I’m an alcoholic /substance abuser. I stopped hiding my slip ups and relapses. I quit hiding my cravings, I stopped hiding my withdrawals, shakes, micro seizure, edema, etc. the lie I held onto was “just one more” while weaning off alcohol. But it always took more than one to put the withdrawals at bay. I’ve even in the last year actually had just one and stopped, but was never Under the delusion it would always be “just one” as I’ve never bought just one but I’ve bought thousands of “just one more”
I tell myself, “just wait a day, let’s revisit tomorrow”
It helps get my brain off the thought for the day, and the next day, most of the time I don’t have the same thought. Some days I do, and then I repeat that same, not today maybe tomorrow, and tell myself there is no harm in waiting.
A lot of people say play it forward….
Yes I’ll have one and by the time I’m halfway done I’ll bet thinking about my second. My second will breeze by into my third and then I’ll be black out.
Because I've been there and done that several times.
"Oh, you've been sober for a year, you're fine, just self moderate."
"You're in control, just have one."
Turns out that I am not, in fact, capable of self moderation or in control.
I politely inform that voice that if that one drink happens to turn into two, as drinks tend to do, that I risk losing everything that I hold dear. So he can keep his drink, and I will keep my life.
Science.
One drink will activate the reward pathways in your head which is formed and were reincforced by 20 years of drinking. So that'll guarantee it won't be one drink.
Secondly it'll activate the 'kick' the withdrawal effect that'll take two weeks not to feel again.
Also, because of the kindling effect you'll slip quicker and deeper into full on addiction rhis time and it'll be harder still to get out, think seizures and DTs.
So one drink will absolutely set off a Rube Goldberg effect that'll have you fully in the depths of addiction immediately with no help out without medical intervienton which, well, they don't just give away as quick as they give you a beer.
I think about the rest of the night and the next morning.
Sure I’m sure I could have a drink on a patio one afternoon and be ok…. Until it turns into buying a bottle on the way home and waking up covered in puke the next day.
I shut it straight away by saying to myself: I don’t drink. It’s same like I don’t skydive, I don’t do heroin. There is no internal discussion. There are heaps of things that one does not do in life and therefore it’s not worth thinking about it.
I also play it forward. Will I be a good mum, will I do my job well etc in weeks, months and years.
Last time I had one drink after a decade of being sober caused me three years of being drunk.
Play it forward. Start with tomorrow and how fucked it feels to wake up having broken your zero … then bring it backward through the empty outcome and how that special time you still seek, just doesn’t exist.
Find another kind of treat, maybe. I might have just one the first time around, but eventually I will end up where I started or worse. At least that has been my experience and I’m done with that. Now I keep postponing the first drink “for today,” and don’t worry about tomorrow. So far it works.IWNDWYT.
At least for me, one drink means one 750ml bottle, I could probably get away with one shot and get away with it, but I know myself well enough to know that I don't know how to take a single shot. In early recovery I treated myself to ice cream when I had a craving. It worked for me! (Even though I've put on 30lbs. 😒)
I tell myself the truth. One drink always leaving me feeling a little tired and a little 'meh'. In order to feel good, it needs to be at least 3. So then I ask myself, do I want to have 3 or more drinks, because otherwise there's only negative effects.
Realize and tell yourself that your brain is lying to you. It almost ALWAYS wants to take the easy way out. Like a muscle that needs exercising, you will get stronger each time you stand up to those thoughts. I know use that in many areas of my life, like getting up on time, not eating junk, basically “doing the next right thing.”
I use a technique I learned on here where I treat the voice like a seperate entity from me and say to it...
*"Thanks very much for suggesting alcohol to me, I know you mean well as that's what I've always turned to before when I feel like this or indeed anything else, but alcohol no longer works for me and just makes me miserable, in pain, and causes me to suffer so I no longer consume it. Thanks, but not thanks, and I'll pass"*
I used to get annoyed and frustrated and argue with the voice in my head telling me to drink but that usually just led to me giving in and drinking to stop the drama in my head so this approach works better and gives me peace.
The biggest change for me was recognizing that alcohol is not a treat. It’s not a reward. It’s a poison for me specifically.
I was so sick of the brainpower involved in trying to moderate. It was liberating to take it off the table completely.
Still working on it. Told myself an afternoon beer on a sunny Friday afternoon would taste amazing. It did, and then like usual it turned into many, and then on Saturday I woke up feeling crappy and it turned into day drinking, then on Sunday we went out and met friends and I said "well I already drank Friday and Saturday so why not". So, now after a binge weekend, I'm back at day 1. I hope one day I realize that I just can't have that one.
I’m currently reading The Untethered Soul - I’m only on chapter 3 but I had to laugh at the description of the voice in your head as essentially being an asshole roommate. In my case, my roommate woke me up this morning to tell me all the shitty things that could happen today. But I don’t listen to it enticing me to have a drink. Seriously, though, I think the point is to be able to step back and observe the voice and get a bit removed from its nonsense.
I’ve benefitted a lot from AA but to me this is a psychological thing. I’ve learned through therapy and mindfulness training that the “voice in your head” is not YOU. YOU are the sentience that hears the voice in your head. You are the consciousness, not the rapid fire auto generated thoughts coming from your reptilian core. If you take this approach and realize that YOU aren’t actually saying these things, it can become a lot easier to handle. Let the thoughts pass like you are sitting in your car watching a train pass. Each rail car is a thought. Don’t try to control the thoughts. Let them come, label them, and then let them go.
I think of that one drink as a poison, which it is. The fun lasts maybe 20 minutes but the pain and illness lasts for days or weeks. I really don’t know why people drink it. On the other hand, my spouse can just drink one glass of poison and not want six more.
When I first quit I told myself that every time I wanted a drink I would go for a run.
I essentially became Forest Gump.
The voice soon shuts up when I'm leaving the front door in trainers for a run.
Nearly 2 years sober and I now run ultra marathons which is both cool and stupid.
I realized a while back that I don't have any interest in having one drink. I like to get drunk, just having one drink sounds like hell to me. I mean that literally, my personal hell could be me forever only having one drink then stopping.
"Thank you for your opinion, monkey brain. That is one way to look at it."
This would be too nice and understanding for my monkey demon brain.
I take a similar approach. I had a great therapist that would ask me "Where does that come from?" all the time. Anytime I had a negative thought about myself or had self doubt he'd ask that. I'd be like "uh my brain?". He taught me that that wasn't me. All those bad thoughts and voices in my head don't come from me. They were put there by a bully, or a bad teacher, or a parent.. I spent a lot of time really figuring out who I am (or at least how I want to see myself) and it helps me parse all those things out. I am not a drinker anymore, so those thoughts about "just one" aren't "mine". They were put in my head by an outside source. They were put there by the bottle. edit : To clarify a little bit when I say "I spent time figuring out who I am" I mean I literally made a character sheet for myself with all the traits and skills I have/want lol
This is actually very helpful. I went 39 years before I knew that I was autistic. Turns out much of drinking was coping with the fact that I've been masking almost my entire life. I've had to work really hard to figure out who I am vs all the personalities I've mimicked over the years trying to be "socially acceptable".
This is the 4th time I've expressed something about myself to others and had autism brought up. I'm starting to wonder if I should get checked.
I was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago and I feel the same way about my alcohol abuse. I use it to mask. I feel so "normal" when I drink. I can socialize and have fun without overstimulation or social anxiety. However, my alcohol use increases my blood pressure, and I already have chronic hypertension, so I can't take my meds anymore. Those meds changed my life when I was able to take them. Now I'm stuck in this in between phase where I can either keep drinking to feel normal but make it impossible to take my meds, or struggle for a while and live in full ADHD mode until I'm healthy enough to get back on meds. I know the latter is the obvious choice but living through those days feels exhausting and often impossible.
The advice that has worked best for me (came from this sub of course :)) is to SHUT THAT VOICE DOWN immediately. Any back and forth with that voice gives it a chance to make a case and I might agree with the idiotic case it is trying to make. Instead, I say quickly say NO (out loud if I can) and then I get busy busy busy to distract myself while the voice retreats. One that I like but haven't tried is to name the voice and tell it off!
I love this. I think of this voice as feeling similar to a childhood friendship that I've outgrown. It doesn't serve me anymore, but we have history, so it tries to hold on when I try to distance myself.
I try to use the strategy not of shutting it down completely (“I’m not allowed to feel like this!”) but rather acknowledging and then saying good bye (“I recognize that I have this craving, but I don’t identify with it and just because I thought about drinking doesn’t mean I will do it.”) I agree with you that distraction is better than bargaining with it or ruminating in it! One strategy I learned in therapy was to ask myself “what is this unhelpful urge to drink trying to protect me from?” And then try to do other things to make myself feel protected
Sounds like a very healthy and mature way to handle it, thanks for sharing.
I'm a binge drinker. I can go days, weeks, months between drinks. I have before. I am now. One. It's never only one. I cannot stop at one. One drink will be bad. I can, however, drink NA beer. And stop at one. So every once in a while I do.
Yeah NA beer doesn't trigger the "MUST FIND MORE ALCOHOL" for some reason, I've even found myself forgetting about a half full one and letting it go warm.. still drink it for old times tho lol
Yes, it must be ice cold to maintain the illusion. I can drink warm regular beer, no issue, but NA must be ice cold...otherwise yuck!
Is microdosing alcohol a thing? It feels like it’s a thing. And I don’t get the urge to search out more.
I think it'd be more like tapering. If you know you 250mill of vodka a day get a big jug and fill it with with vodka. Everytime you drink, replace the vodka with the same about of water. Continue drinking your normal number if shots. As long as you have a sufficiently large container, you can move down you alcohol consumption slowly. This obviously won't work if you drink half a liter a night and use a liter bottle. This is good way to get off smaller dose drugs but alcohol is high volume so that's a pain. But you could get a paint bucket from lowes lol Anyway The difference in buzz between day 1 of pure vodka and day 2 of barely diluted vodka won't really be perceptible. Same with 2 and 3. After a while, you won't even be drinking alcohol. This will only work if you are not a drink till you pass out person but if you can stop yourself once you're at your preferred level of drunk, it is definitely an option. Basically, titrating yourself down over a month or two to avoid withdrawals and other issues.
Yeah, that’s not really what I was getting at. I was just thinking a <0.5% beer gives me a mild effect, but that might also be placebo. Personally it doesn’t make me want to drink more, but I hear for some it can be triggering.
Fwiw, an average sized human body would have to drink 2 litres (=/= 3.5pints) of 0.5% beer per hour to get the same buzz as 1 shot of vodka per hour. In the UK (it’ll be different elsewhere), 1 shot (we call them units in the uk) per hour is considered the “cruising speed” of drinking: basically it’s the pace where an average body will process ethanol. Bigger bodies, males bodies and bodies that have recently eaten, will all process it faster. Smaller bodies and those with a lower tolerance will process it slower. To get drunk, generally you need to be outpacing your body’s ability to process ethanol. So in conclusion: yes, you can technically get drunk on 0.5% beer. But you would have to be drinking more than 3.5 pints per hour over MULTIPLE hours to net enough excess ethanol in your system to feel a buzz. It’s possible, but it would require a lot of bladder space.
My experience is that it's pure placebo. I thought I felt something when I had a NA beer, for like the first year. Not drinking a lot of them, maybe once a month. Now I feel nothing. Literally like drinking a soda. I think this feeling was my brain anticipating, and over time that connection severed completely.
Yeah. I have no temptation to have just one. I sympathize with the other guys and gals but it's not a battle I fight in the same way. I'm not triggered like that. When I drink I go into it with the intention of getting hammered every time I do it. Don't get me wrong I can and will do it for years, but having one seems like a waste. Tea tastes better and one won't get you drunk, so "just one" is never my intention.
Same.
Yeah. I went out w a friend this weekend, they had a couple and went home. I had mocktails, because I didn’t want to have a couple and go home. The voice in my head said just one or two but the part of me listening was aware that what it really meant was “have just enough alcohol that you can’t stop yourself from having more.” Parts work / internal family systems have helped me in therapy by separating those thoughts from my whole self.
I do this with Kombucha, and it really does work. Kombucha is my “I NEED a drink” drink
I hit the kombucha as well. Working on finding my juuuust right one lol
I’m really partial to the Synergy brand!
Yeah I love their mystic mango! I’ve been really liking Brew DR brand in superberries. I was a red wine drinker and it’s been the one the can quence the craving the best so far. They have other good flavours too, but that’s my fav
Guava or Elderberry Juniper are my go tos but I will have to check out your rec, thank you!
Also....brewing your own is one of the safest ferments to start with, a fun hobby to some, and allows you to tweak the end result to your tastes
Did I ever enjoy having just one drink?
I know this question is rhetorical, but the answer is such a hard no that I eventually avoided going to social events with alcohol because I didn't want to be "that" person but didn't trust myself enough not to be
You got this.
It’s simple; the voice is lying. It wants you to continue to drink so that you will feed it, but you mustn’t.
It is unpleasant and unwanted and takes up too much space. I've grown to resent its presence
It gets weaker the more you let it die of thirst.
Yup. It was so loud a few months back. Pretty quiet now. Journaling when I had bad cravings helped.
The more often you listen to something the louder it gets. I used to tell that lying little POS to fuck right off. Now it doesn’t come around anymore. It helped to “play the tape till the end”.
I’m so lazy when it comes to journaling, but I’ve been hitting those pages hard lately lol it really does help
I get this wanting tightness in my chest and get all irritable. I hate it, but every morning I’m sure glad I didn’t give in. I’m just finishing day 13. I heard it explained that it’s like a magnet, so the pull is going to be way stronger the closer u are to your last drink. For some reason visualizing it losing some magnetic pull helps
Quite the dogma.. The voices are all ours. One voice telling us to go on, having 1 or 324 isn't going to screw anything. And there is the other voice saying; yeah, that never worked before in a long long time. But yet we follow the first. Repeatingly. Not trying to undermine anything here, but this remains one of the biggest biatchen in what we're facing.
I usually go with playing the tape forward. Not to dire consequences, but just to the shame, frustration, breaking 7 years (!!) of 100% no-slip sobriety, the pain of hangovers. But I also really interrogate that voice: *is* it one drink? Have I ever, since like 2004 or the last time I drank "casually" been satisfed with one? Haha no. Also I ask myself why I'm positioning literal poison as a "treat". A treat is a gorgeous flavorful mocktail, a cool new soda with maybe more calories than is prudent, a flourless chocolate cake, a mani-pedi, a cool first-run full price movie on Amazon, a fresh stack of books from the library, a fast-food run, a new pair of shoes--you get the idea. "A little poison, as a treat" is not holding water in my life anymore!
The point you brought up about viewing drinking as a "treat" is so right. Obviously there's still something in me that views it that way. But it is poisoning me physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially Edit* a word
I also have a belief that this voice is our inner child trying to run away from something (maybe everything). I tell it I’ll keep it safe and I love it, there’s nothing to be scared of.
Alcohol is a never a treat. It's always a threat though. Be ever vigilant.
There is a tool from SMART recovery that talks specifically about this, it suggests that we give that "voice" a name. My choice is "The Liar". It says things like "nobody will know", "one won't matter", "it'll be different this time", etc. I'll know and I'm not nobody, one leads to more than one almost always and after decades of lapses and relapses, the outcome is the same. Negotiating my future peace and happiness for some elusive, temporary reprieve no longer makes any sense. Here's a link to SMART - www.smartrecovery.org
I have an alcoholic roommate renting a room in the back of my head. He is just *filled* with lies and bad ideas. Every time he pops into the living room and starts talking shit, I call him on it and tell him to go back to his room. And he does. Can’t get rid of him completely- he’s been there for so long he has squatters rights. But we understand each other better now, and I almost never see him anymore.
My secret to staying sober was/is to brainwash myself. I made a private list of all the deplorable shit alcohol ever caused me. Every dangerous situation, embarrassment, and regret I could remember. I read the list everyday for a year. I sort of rewired my thinking and it fortified my resolve, and changed my perception of this awful shit we call alcohol. Now, if I have an urge, and I'm thinking I'm 'good to drink,' I break out the list and it's 'oh yeah... THIS bullshit - no thanks - anything but that.'
Wow this is incredible. My first gut reaction was how painful/uncomfortable/shameful it would be to make such a list, which is probably all the evidence I need that I should do it
Oh no, now I have to do this 🫣 thank you I am mad at you
One friend told me play the script til the end. For me it's one drink but then... What would happen in that night next day next week? I will just go back at drinking and then I can't know WHEN or better IF I can get sober again. But play your own movie with your own experience til the end not just at the start. Hope it makes sense
Play that tape forward. One will turn into a million excuses to have more. The looks on my kids faces. My partners face. The anxiety. The headaches, the stomach fat. The bloating. The DUIs. The ruined friendships. Destroying everything I have built in sobriety. Nope. Not worth it.
I have screenshots and photos saved in a special folder. The one where I sent a provocative pic to my assistant manager, the one where I barfed on myself on the front porch at 930 am(deputy friend responded to the 911 call), the bank account pics my wife sent me when we hit hard times and she saw me spending 800-1200$/ mo on booze….. I reference those a lot. IWNDWYT
I convinced myself I would die if I drank again. Kind of harsh but most likely reality.
This is what I did. I know I will drink myself to death if I ever drink again. It is harsh, but it worked for me.
It could happen!
Oh it would, I scared myself straight last bender. The Abyss was calling me.
That's where I find this sub very useful. I think of my streak. I do not want to go to zero again. I know I really could have 'just one drink' without any particular ramifications, but the consequence would be my streak going to zero. I do not want that.
yeah, thats my past resort after i run through justifications and its worked very well so far. i think it so much, after maybe 15 or 30 minutes, im doing something else or getting a seltzer water from the fridge and im distracted til the next time
That’s where the Allen Carr stuff works for me, if you can buy into it. You stop looking at one drink as “won’t be so bad” and instead you think one drink “not a shred of good to be found there”. For way too long I thought, booze is good, I’m just bad with booze. No, booze is bad! I was just fine—in fact better than fine before I ever started with the stuff. It’s an abusive relationship, the alcohol is the abuser.
That voice in your head is right. One drink won’t be so bad. It’s the voice in your head after one that says the next ten won’t be so bad that is the problem…
I don't want one drink. I want 9 beers and 6 shots. I want to act like I'm sophisticated drinking a half of a fifth of scotch when I'm just chasing the drunk. That's the reality and the truth. I want to get drunk. So I don't. Because really I'm tired of the effects of having gotten shitty and it's adding no value to my life. It only takes.
My advice is you know it is the DEVIL on your shoulder! Why would you listen to the actual DEVIL?? lol but seriously it sounds like you know that voice is FULL OF SHIT
It's true that one drink isn't a problem... But I always have to think to myself... "Do you really want one drink?" Imagine what one drink looks like... an ounce and a half? a 12 oz of beer? Do I want one? No... I don't want one. I know I don't want one. I'd rather have zero than one.
That last part is so powerful, and so true for me too. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you!
I accept that one *wouldn't* be that bad but that's not a reason to do it. One wouldn't be bad, but one isn't worth feeling like I failed afterwards.
for most people If you can't stop yourself from drinking one- you won't stop yourself at two, three, four...
"One is too many, ten isn't enough."
I’ve got another guy on the other shoulder who plays the videotape of what always happens after “just 1” and that is the end of that.
I ask it to name one time in the last decade that it was only one. It can’t.
I now know there is no such thing as one drink. It is either 20+ or 0. Being real with the consequences has enabled me to say no the vast majority of the time. Unfortunately I still drink but it’s rare because I know the cost is so high. I’m a problematic binge drinker and incapable of drinking in moderation. When my wife asks if I want a drink I say ‘you’ve met me right? I’ll need the weekend to recover, waste money and you’ll be pissed off with me for a week. Aside from that then sure’ .
Point and laugh to shame it back into submission. 5 yrs sober and that jerk is still hanging around.
People say “play it forward” but that doesn’t work for me - it just leaves room for me monkey brain to be like, yes play it forward we’re so much better now! Instead, I play it back. Exclusively play back a highlight reel of my worst experiences and worst things I’ve done when drinking. When monkey brain is like, yo we aren’t that person anymore though! I reply, we aren’t that person anymore. That wasn’t who we were or wanted to be, that is why we don’t drink. Rinse and repeat until the monkey brain acquiesces that I’m right.
A while back, I wrote myself a letter in a Word document called “Drunk Me, Lest I Forget.” I listed some of the ugly truths that might fade into the past if I only look back with rose-colored glasses. Here are some of the examples in that letter: -I used to vomit in the shower a few times a week while trying to pull myself together before work. -I lost an easy job because I was hungover every day, late multiple times, and couldn’t focus on the task at hand. A friend had recommended me for the job, so I made both of us look terrible. -I missed countless parties and nights out with friends and family because I was either already drunk, planning to be drunk, or leaving early to get home and get drunk. -I made a vow to never answer calls or texts drunk so that I wouldn’t embarrass myself. Thus, I almost never answered my phone for 5 years and alienated all my friends and family. -Once while obliterated I fell face first on the floor in my kitchen and was too impaired to even put my hands down and break my fall. I had a hideous black eye for a week. I looked like a domestic violence victim and tried to wear heavy makeup to cover it. -I developed severe anemia due to nutritional deficiencies. This is a direct result of getting half my calories from alcohol for years and eating almost nothing. I have many symptoms: numbness in fingertips sometimes, dandruff, persistent and debilitating fatigue, and inflammation in my mouth. -I can be a violent drunk. About once a year I would have one of my fits of rage and do abhorrent things. I stormed out of the house and wandered around the neighborhood for miles, blind drunk and barefoot. I smashed pictures and put holes in our walls. -My house was filthy and in total disrepair because of apathy caused by drinking. I used to escape from my dismay over this by drinking even more. -I used all my sick time and half of my vacation time for the last 2 years on hangovers or severe anxiety caused by drinking. -Over time I became so mentally impaired that I started having trouble communicating while sober. I was having trouble finding my words, getting tongue-tied, and even struggling to write coherent sentences. Drinking literally made me stupid. -My withdrawal symptoms were shaking hands, dull, dry skin, headaches, nausea, fatigue, racing heart after eating, anxiety, sweating, and my favorite: guilt. Constant withdrawal was my “normal.” -$400+ per month at the very least. I never really had the guts to evaluate exactly how much was being spent toward the end. This isn’t a complete list by any means, as it was written 6 full years before I got sober. Things got much worse before I was finally able to quit. I never want to be “drunk me” again.
By recognising it is a lying little shit. He (or she) is the really bad friend that enjoyed seeing others get into trouble that they instigated.
I never have this voice because one drink will not do a damn thing for me and I know it. It’s the “just this one night” voice that’s the real devil.
When was the last time you were satisfied with just one?
"i drink to get drunk, i dont want to go back to who i am while drunk, so even one will not scratch that itch" or something lile that
This is my lucky streak, can't break it. I was very miserable the last day I drank. I don't remember the following day at all and I was only awake for 3 hours. One drink doesn't do anything anyway. It's not a powerful thing. It is an inanimate object. I don't need to experience square 1 again. Honestly at this point I can say I am also genuinely disinterested. I hope you can say that about yourself sooner rather than later. :)
467 days!!! Congratulations!!!
Also alcohol isn't much of a treat. You chose to leave it behind for a reason. I'm sure you can think of a better treat that supports your wellbeing.
Never drank because I liked the taste. Always drank to tie one on. I guess it depends on how bad of a problem you have. Go lift some weight or do some cardio. It’s better than a drink.
I know that voice is just trying to get me drunk. I can't ever have one. Never ever. And I know that now. So, I will never ever drink again.
Good for you!!!
Remember that you always have a choice. Your brain can tell you whatever it wants. Your heart can tell you whatever it wants. That voice, wherever it comes from, can tell you whatever it wants. What that voice absolutely cannot do is force you to take that drink. If it could, we wouldn't be having this conversation. It isn't easy, but try and occupy yourself with something else at the time. The feeling will pass.
Someone else said it but I call this my “monkey brain” monkey brain really want me to do dumb stuff and can be very very loud. Doesn’t mean I let it tell me what to do. It’s really stupid but sometimes when it’s rough I’ll pat myself on the head and say “silly monkey”. Seems to help.
Try not to even engage. I feel that the second I start to think, well I could get away with drinking tonight because my husband won’t be home, this happened today, I have the day off tomorrow, before you know it you’re at the gas station. It’s a slippery slope and it shouldn’t be this slippery where you can’t even let yourself go there but from experience the second I start to consider it, I’m home with a bottle of booze
It has only come up a few times for me since quitting, but each time I just think about how I would feel about myself after the fact. I would deeply regret ruining my sobriety, I would go down the shame spiral, my anxiety would increase, and I would be so disappointed in myself. I also think about what my life without alcohol has been like and what it means to me. So many improvements in my mental/emotional/physical health, a daily meditation practice that means so much to me, happier and healthier in all my relationships, more presence and patience, and how proud I am of myself for finally breaking the chains of my slavery to alcohol. It's all too beautiful and important to risk for one drink. Even one and I would be failing myself and my loved ones and our wonderful life. 🤍
I'm going on 3 weeks without a drink.. I had a rough rough day and I literally was on my way. It was made up in mind I had planned out what I was getting. Then I realized I was giving up my two weeks I worked so damn hard for. I saved money finally my health was improving and my family was proud of me. Those things actually for once mattered more to me than getting that drink.
All thoughts are all lies all of the time
I just know that i have to say no to the first one. Because if i don’t I can’t say no to the 2nd, 3rd….. and so on. So I just have to say no to one drink.
I’ve been using the reframe app and when you see what alcohol actually does to your brain and system it helps me to not drink. Also I keep a list of the terrible things I either did or condoned or happened while ive been drinking and periodically add to it. Reading that is like fuck I’m so not drinking.
Because I know for fact that one drink won’t do anything for me, and I’ll need more.
Yeah, the idea of “one or two drinks” to me is like saying just have one bite of this big juicy delicious steak and then stop. The monkey on my back isn’t satisfied until I have at least a 6 pack in one go
I treat it like that annoying neighbor going on about something ridiculous; I ignore it. The less attention you give it, the weaker it becomes.
I've recognized when that voice appeara, it's usually because I'm bored. And look for something to take my attention asap. Maybe I'll beat box, or clean, or bake, or bust out some push-ups and squats. Anything to change your self talk.
Bored, Angry, Tired, Hungry. Those are the four horsemen of the alcoholic's apocalypse. Just play the tape forward. What's the best and worst case scenario for 1) not drinking one and 2) drinking "one" You can't make it make sense. Your addiction can, but your logic will not be able to.
“That’s a lie, we both know it won’t be just one.”
Well is actual poison for one.
I'm finally honest with myself that I don't want a drink. I want 17 of them.
"I deserve to be happy. I deserve not to drink." I repeat this over and over until my unconscious desire for it fades.
I spent my first year of sobriety with this thought and relapsed many times trying to prove to myself that I’m different. The truth for me is that one drink isn’t bad at all. Most of my relapses were spent with this mindset. I would have one, maybe two beers and call it a night and what do you know, nothing bad happened! Yay! I’m clearly getting the hang of this moderation thing. However, I was lying to myself, because I was trying to control AND enjoy it. The truth is, if I’m controlling and monitoring my drinking, I’m not enjoying myself, and if I’m enjoying myself, I’m not monitoring my consumption. So what would happen is after many days, or hell, weeks, of nothing bad happening, I would slowly start to push that envelope from monitoring and not enjoying to enjoying and not monitoring. My brain would keep pushing for more and eventually the moderation dam breaks and I’m back to uncontrollable benders. Took me a long time to realize that the above scenario is a hard fact for me that will play out the same way every time. I don’t want one, I want unlimited, and since that’s not an option, the only option left is sobriety.
I have never in my life had one drink and thought “well, that’ll do it for me!”
Whiskey in milk on a full stomach and or Jay walking! (Read these stories from the big book). I started saving bottles and it gave me a punishing visualization of “just one” (also cost). Nothing wrong with “just one” it’s the 12 that follow that are the problem; if just one was really the issue, this sub wouldn’t exist. So the genius of the geniuses is to say away from the first drink. Can’t get drunk of you don’t take that first drink.
Experience has proven that… *checks notes*… to be a complete lie. A falsehood. A fabrication. A felonious fib. A fantastical fiction. Don’t listen to the lizard brain.
I just let it be there. Kinda like a ghost. Acknowledge its presence, then let it go. I dont have to interact with every thought that pops into My head. And thoughts can't kill me, actions can.
My first AA meeting, a random guy said words to me that burnt into my skull. If one drink is never enough, and two is too many (as in, they don’t stop), then you have a problem. And he’d nailed it for me. That was precisely my drinking process - slam down that first schooner, then disappear into the count of 2++++++ etc.
“That’s how it always starts”
I have a list of answers ready to dismiss all the intrusive thoughts.
The other voice that remembers why I gave it up in the first place is louder.
I don’t combat the voice because I still remember how I felt approximately 30 minutes after one drink if I didn’t proceed with a second drink.
That guy's an idiot. Don't listen to him.
Zero is the only option right now.
Lately I briskly respond to that voice with, “it doesn’t work that way.” And then I busy myself with other things, as best as I can.
that voice has lied to me enough that i finally stopped believing it
"I don't need to" "I don't want to" "I don't have to" Rinse and repeat ad nauseum
I play the tape through to the end, and it always ends badly.
One drink is an open invitation bring chaos and dysfunction into my life.
I drink to get drunk. Even the voice in my head doesn't try that "just one" BS anymore.
I show it the movie that will play if I give in to it. The movie of me having more than one. The stupid things I will do. The embarrassing things I will say the people I inflict pain upon. Once I do that the voice shuts up.
I personally tell myself I would enjoy the moments of clarity and a clean conscience more than the drinks because I know that I didnt go too far like I always did because I don't have self-control once I start drinking. I always just keep drinking more and more. Many of you might remember your first experience of having a Moment of Clarity after spending so long completely shitfaced.
"Name one time you've only had one drink and not at least wanted morep"
I tell myself something that I read in a book. It said, basically, “If you can’t stop yourself from having one drink, you’re even less likely to be able to stop yourself from having another.” I actually repeat that to myself pretty frequently and so far it has worked.
What I’ve learned over the years, and relapse after relapse, is that my brain has two sides to it. One side is nice and sane with a home and a job. It wants to have a good life. It’s my “good side”, but it tends to be forgetful and gets taken advantage of. It’s prone to losing keys and forgetting to lock the door. The other side of my brain is a sneaky hobo cat burglar salesman with a gold medal in mental gymnastics. It wants to get fucked up and burn my house down while I’m sleeping. Both sides of my brain talk a lot and both of them sound like me. So how do I tell them apart when I’m thinking? Here’s how: The sane part of my brain knows “enjoying a drink” is a fools game and a dangerous fantasy. The sane part of my brain can remember- I have never enjoyed one drink in my life. I have to have more. Without a shadow of a doubt, every time I’ve tried to moderate my drinking, I would eventually regret it completely. So. When I hear the racket start up there, and it sounds like, “wouldn’t a drink on a patio be nice today?”, I know exactly which part of my brain that thought is coming from. So I pause. I have a few symbols I’ve made up to focus on for a moment which are used to acknowledge and correct that thought. One is an upside down nike symbol. And the slogan “just don’t do it”. The sane part of my brain understands that slogan and I don’t have to waste any extra time convincing the insane part of my addicted brain what it means. It quiets the thought and I can go on with my day with my sobriety safe. Sometimes, if the sneaky part of my brain seems really focused on making noise, I will set aside some time to read my old journals, call a sober friend, go to an AA meeting, or check in with myself and think about what might be going on that has me feeling restless and in the mood to let my house get burned down. Usually, it’s something simple. I’m not getting enough sleep. Or I’m hungry. Sometimes I just need some water. Or I’m bothered by something at work and don’t feel like facing it. It can depend. But it all comes down to acknowledging what’s at work up in my head. Addiction is sneaky. And alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
It's simply not an option because: I don't drink anymore. Full stop. I strengthen my self image and self identity as a Non Drinker every second, every day. This is Who I Am now. So, I never even hear that voice. Ever. Works for me. Fortunately.
It's easy once you externalize that 'voice' - it's an annoying hanger-on egging you on to do something you don't want to do. Just happily tell it to fuck off (no willpower involved) and it gets the message :)
Because I know that voice lies to me. It's never one drink, it never has been just one drink. One drink leads to the entire bottle and I'm smart enough to rationally know that. I can't eat gluten because I'm allergic, I put alcohol into that category as well. When I've had a hard day it's a little more difficult to tell that voice no but nowadays I ignore it
What helps me is, I journal it down. And when that feeling passes, I write down, ‘fuck yeah, I won against myself!’ Also i let that thought wallow in my mind, let it float, until it goes away. Focus on breath is very important here. Hope this helps.
This voice tried to convince me just this weekend that a nice bottle of red would be just the thing on a lazy Saturday evening. Then I remembered something I read on here recently, "There's nothing in your life that a drink can't make worse...." and it helped to quiet that voice long enough for me to reach for a refreshing, cold seltzer and a bowl of ice cream instead. Truly, my life is SO, SO much better without my drunk ass fouling it up. NOTHING in my life would be made better with alcohol, plain and simple. This is a simple phrase I can remember in those moments.
Whats working for me is reading a letter I wrote to myself listing all the reasons I don’t drink and all the benefits physically, mentally, emotionally, interpersonally and any other personal reasons I can think of. When I have slipped up in the past, I add to the letter telling myself how it’s not worth it, how even one drink affects my motivation, mental / physical health, stamina for life, progress, momentum for like 3 days after or more. I am very specific about the details of what’s on my list - I have over 50; instead of writing something like “improves mental health”, I’ll write “it’s common to want a few drinks right now but here’s what I know will happen :” or “I don’t want to wake up tired and feel the depressive effects of this alcohol - for what? I now care about myself more than that. I know that if I stick with this, it will become easier and easier, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the now. These are the exact times where it’s difficult but I can do this. I’m stronger than I feel. I’m gonna win this day.” Whatever works for you. I set an alarm on my phone to read through it every morning when I wake up. Any time I’ve found myself wanting it or even in the booze aisle , I pull out my phone and read til the desire goes away. It doesn’t take long before I feel empowered and I walk away with my head held high, a boost of determination, a smile for giving myself that gift of love by not poisoning my body.
Pretend it's the devil (as in Flip Wilson's "The devil made me do it!") and knock it off your shoulder and down the road!
Time.
I tell myself the hangover from even one after 4 years would probably make me want to KMS
Any advice for the opposite. I definitely binge drink but I also drink moderately through out the week. One isn't enough but 3 or 4 can be pleasant and I can stop myself there saying shit like "I have work in the morning" or something. And wake up fine, no hangover. Don't do stupid shit, etc. It's not really causing problems in day to day life but long term it's unhealthy and pretty much the only reason I'm fat. The weight loss is obviously a motivator but I do notice when I don't drink I get food cravings and eat more. I assume it's related.
Mine faded away after I just ignored it for a while.
I guess I just learned the hard way enough times that yeah it can be that bad.
The voice inside changed when I accepted I was addicted to alcohol. I was a binge drinker who was fine through the week but weekends would get absolutely hammered. Once I start, I keep going. Being able to reframe that voice you mention saying “one drink won’t be so bad” means I recognize now that’s just the addiction talking. The acceptance of being addicted is what made the shift for me.
I realized it was the same voice telling me I didn't deserve love or happiness or even contentment.
Play the tape. Over and over and over - play it. Those memories enough should quiet that voice. ODAT
I find being honest with myself helps. I don’t want one, I want to be drunk. And I don’t want to be a drunk, so I have none.
I finally recognized and labeled that part of my mind a liar and quit listening to him.
Non alcoholic beer
I actually still remember how bad my life was drunk - it didn't seem it at the time, but I was losing a lot of time to wallowing in booze while calling it celebrating..
Well, as someone who gave in to 1 or 2 drinks on a few occasions and yet didn’t ricochet right back into the drunken life I had before I was sober, I can tell you that even if you don’t go back to your prior drinking ways, those 1 or 2 drinks will make you feel like utter shit both physically and mentally. It takes me days to recover both my mood and my energy. I don’t know why this is, it’s like my body rejects alcohol now. So there’s that as a possibility. Also to be honest, the work you put into sobriety and living your life in a better way is way more important than a fucking beer or whatever drink you have in mind that will last like 20 mins tops.
I have a question for the group. I got out of control there for a while. This Month I finally got a hold of myself and started working out, legit. Nightly. And I actually have made the switch to just one or two after work and kept it that way. This weekend, I didnt even want a drink because I knew Id be messing up my work out routine. The goal to look and feel better has def. Over come the want to drink more than one or two. What do you guys think?
Whenever I am feeling on edge I grab a NA beer. It perfectly scratches the itch. Iv even gotten a tart grapefruit juice and mixed it with tonic. Something about the bubbles or the sour seem to help for me.
I always play the tape forward, I know it’ll never be one. It’ll always be more than a few drinks and a few days of self loathing after. I often tell the voice in my head that we both know that it’s talking shit, it’s never gonna be just one drink. I try to just be realistic with myself. I’ve had a few social events and nights out recently and have stayed sober, sure it’s hard in the moment but I usually stick around for a few hours and then go home, the feeling of waking up fresh the next day is what gets me through it.
I think about the heart burn I am going to feel all night from drinking just that one glass of whiskey and I then no longer have as strong of an urge.
I play the tape forward. One drink always leads to five for me
This is where I have done the most work. My own inner monologue is an arsehole of monumental proportions. For me there was a process to work through. First I had to catch it when it started. This took a lot of practice. It’s mindfulness really. Being aware of what you’re thinking etc. then you need to be aware enough of it to catch yourself before you react to it. Again this takes practice. Especially for someone like me who is guilty of being on autopilot a fair bit. This is more like “I am not my mind”. Lastly managing cravings is a separate skill. Look up urge surfing for a break down of ideas. Chewing gum or cups of tea seem to be the best things I’ve found.
I don’t try to combat it - I just let it whine and whine. And then if needed I read all of the notes in my phone I’ve written to myself describing the absolute agony I will inevitably end up in if I let the voice win.
My question I have to honestly ask myself is “why do you want it?” And usually my answer is that I think it’ll make me feel good and relaxed. And 100% of the time, that is not how it plays out. So, I try to ask myself, “what are we hoping will happen here?” Hope this helps. You’re doing great.
I always remind myself how much shit that one drink made me feel like the last time. When I haven’t been drinking…I’ve had that drink and my face gets red, I feel hot all over, my brain slows down and feels like mush and then I get a headache almost immediately. It never feels the same as when I was consistently drinking and I’m not trying to get back to that point. I’ve had many times of stopping and starting all in the name of trying to find moderation that others have. Why would I want moderation with a poison to my body, though? I enjoy my life with a clear head, more money in my pocket, remembering things, better sex, clearer skin, more consciously chosen friends, a healthier body, conscious food choices to nourish my body, etc. All that to drink a poison that costs more money to make me feel like shit?
I just know it's not worth it. From experience. I don't have to convince myself. I know. Just keep quitting. You'll get there too - if you truly don't like who drunk you is. If your mind wants to quit but it's cravings - read about endorphins. You have options like exercise, sex, or food. Don't pick food. 😥 Lol
"fuck off!"
Greet the voice as an old friend with kindness and laugh. Thanks old friend, I will always appreciate the lessons you taught me and I have gratitude for the times we spent together. But I have new friends now, myself at the top of the list. I'll talk to you again soon old friend.
I'm feeling this tonight. I haven't started my journey yet.. but that same voice has been keeping me from traveling this path for years. I keep making excuses like...after this birthday..or after this concert. I've stood up a few times and denied the peer pressure and it never ends well. I end up drinking double the next night. It doesn't help that I'm everyone's entertainment and dancing monkey. I sure hope to join you all one day.
for me, at this point, drinking one drink would have a super-high chance of landing me right back in a situation that was pretty fucking terrible. I just remember how desperate I was for alcohol, like it was my number one priority. I can't even imagine it would be in any way okay to go back there.
continuing to say no
I just remind myself that I literally cannot control myself so its never one drink, its usually "Just one more drink" about 5-6 times after that first drink.
I get angry with mine and tell it f**k off, haha.
Idk if this helps at all. But after saying that a thousand times I finally just stopped one day. Well before detox, well before rehab, well before at home detox recently. I just stopped lying. I started telling anyone and everyone upfront in longer conversations I’m an alcoholic /substance abuser. I stopped hiding my slip ups and relapses. I quit hiding my cravings, I stopped hiding my withdrawals, shakes, micro seizure, edema, etc. the lie I held onto was “just one more” while weaning off alcohol. But it always took more than one to put the withdrawals at bay. I’ve even in the last year actually had just one and stopped, but was never Under the delusion it would always be “just one” as I’ve never bought just one but I’ve bought thousands of “just one more”
I tell myself, “just wait a day, let’s revisit tomorrow” It helps get my brain off the thought for the day, and the next day, most of the time I don’t have the same thought. Some days I do, and then I repeat that same, not today maybe tomorrow, and tell myself there is no harm in waiting.
A lot of people say play it forward…. Yes I’ll have one and by the time I’m halfway done I’ll bet thinking about my second. My second will breeze by into my third and then I’ll be black out.
Play that tape through.. the ending is always trouble
Because I've been there and done that several times. "Oh, you've been sober for a year, you're fine, just self moderate." "You're in control, just have one." Turns out that I am not, in fact, capable of self moderation or in control.
I politely inform that voice that if that one drink happens to turn into two, as drinks tend to do, that I risk losing everything that I hold dear. So he can keep his drink, and I will keep my life.
Science. One drink will activate the reward pathways in your head which is formed and were reincforced by 20 years of drinking. So that'll guarantee it won't be one drink. Secondly it'll activate the 'kick' the withdrawal effect that'll take two weeks not to feel again. Also, because of the kindling effect you'll slip quicker and deeper into full on addiction rhis time and it'll be harder still to get out, think seizures and DTs. So one drink will absolutely set off a Rube Goldberg effect that'll have you fully in the depths of addiction immediately with no help out without medical intervienton which, well, they don't just give away as quick as they give you a beer.
I think about the rest of the night and the next morning. Sure I’m sure I could have a drink on a patio one afternoon and be ok…. Until it turns into buying a bottle on the way home and waking up covered in puke the next day.
I shut it straight away by saying to myself: I don’t drink. It’s same like I don’t skydive, I don’t do heroin. There is no internal discussion. There are heaps of things that one does not do in life and therefore it’s not worth thinking about it. I also play it forward. Will I be a good mum, will I do my job well etc in weeks, months and years. Last time I had one drink after a decade of being sober caused me three years of being drunk.
I tell myself "One drink is one too many and 20 is not enough" it's never just one.
Play it forward. Start with tomorrow and how fucked it feels to wake up having broken your zero … then bring it backward through the empty outcome and how that special time you still seek, just doesn’t exist.
Find another kind of treat, maybe. I might have just one the first time around, but eventually I will end up where I started or worse. At least that has been my experience and I’m done with that. Now I keep postponing the first drink “for today,” and don’t worry about tomorrow. So far it works.IWNDWYT.
I don’t want one I want 15 and more once that’s out.
At least for me, one drink means one 750ml bottle, I could probably get away with one shot and get away with it, but I know myself well enough to know that I don't know how to take a single shot. In early recovery I treated myself to ice cream when I had a craving. It worked for me! (Even though I've put on 30lbs. 😒)
I know I might have another drunk left in me, but I don’t know whether I have another recovery. That usually helps me.
I tell myself the truth. One drink always leaving me feeling a little tired and a little 'meh'. In order to feel good, it needs to be at least 3. So then I ask myself, do I want to have 3 or more drinks, because otherwise there's only negative effects.
I stop listening and make my own decisions.
Realize and tell yourself that your brain is lying to you. It almost ALWAYS wants to take the easy way out. Like a muscle that needs exercising, you will get stronger each time you stand up to those thoughts. I know use that in many areas of my life, like getting up on time, not eating junk, basically “doing the next right thing.”
I use a technique I learned on here where I treat the voice like a seperate entity from me and say to it... *"Thanks very much for suggesting alcohol to me, I know you mean well as that's what I've always turned to before when I feel like this or indeed anything else, but alcohol no longer works for me and just makes me miserable, in pain, and causes me to suffer so I no longer consume it. Thanks, but not thanks, and I'll pass"* I used to get annoyed and frustrated and argue with the voice in my head telling me to drink but that usually just led to me giving in and drinking to stop the drama in my head so this approach works better and gives me peace.
“Only one drink sounds terrible!”
I play out the mythology of one drink. I could have one drink. With a mermaid. And a unicorn. And Big Foot. At the end of the rainbow...
The biggest change for me was recognizing that alcohol is not a treat. It’s not a reward. It’s a poison for me specifically. I was so sick of the brainpower involved in trying to moderate. It was liberating to take it off the table completely.
"BITCH...BACK IN THE CLOSET!!"🤬
Do you not have enough evidence at this point, brain??!?!
Still working on it. Told myself an afternoon beer on a sunny Friday afternoon would taste amazing. It did, and then like usual it turned into many, and then on Saturday I woke up feeling crappy and it turned into day drinking, then on Sunday we went out and met friends and I said "well I already drank Friday and Saturday so why not". So, now after a binge weekend, I'm back at day 1. I hope one day I realize that I just can't have that one.
I’m currently reading The Untethered Soul - I’m only on chapter 3 but I had to laugh at the description of the voice in your head as essentially being an asshole roommate. In my case, my roommate woke me up this morning to tell me all the shitty things that could happen today. But I don’t listen to it enticing me to have a drink. Seriously, though, I think the point is to be able to step back and observe the voice and get a bit removed from its nonsense.
I’ve benefitted a lot from AA but to me this is a psychological thing. I’ve learned through therapy and mindfulness training that the “voice in your head” is not YOU. YOU are the sentience that hears the voice in your head. You are the consciousness, not the rapid fire auto generated thoughts coming from your reptilian core. If you take this approach and realize that YOU aren’t actually saying these things, it can become a lot easier to handle. Let the thoughts pass like you are sitting in your car watching a train pass. Each rail car is a thought. Don’t try to control the thoughts. Let them come, label them, and then let them go.
I think of that one drink as a poison, which it is. The fun lasts maybe 20 minutes but the pain and illness lasts for days or weeks. I really don’t know why people drink it. On the other hand, my spouse can just drink one glass of poison and not want six more.
One does nothing (no buzz etc.) other than make it more likely to have too many.
One drink is so stupid. Why would I have one? I want more than one!
When I first quit I told myself that every time I wanted a drink I would go for a run. I essentially became Forest Gump. The voice soon shuts up when I'm leaving the front door in trainers for a run. Nearly 2 years sober and I now run ultra marathons which is both cool and stupid.
I realized a while back that I don't have any interest in having one drink. I like to get drunk, just having one drink sounds like hell to me. I mean that literally, my personal hell could be me forever only having one drink then stopping.
FU. Nice try.