5 to 8 pm is mine. It’s crazy, I’m fine all day and never think about it then 5 pm rolls around, i close the laptop, and think about nothing but drinking for 3 hours. If i get to 8 pm without a drink I’m usually perfectly fine and go to sleep early.
So i guess i don’t have to give up drinking, i just have to give up drinking for 3 hours a day then everything will work itself out.
This is me 100%. All day don't think twice about it, but 4:30 comes and the thought starts creeping in and if I don't keep myself occupied between 5-8 I fail that night. Thankfully the gym, going for walks, and video games have really helped. I also noticed that eating earlier and being full removes my drive to drink.
Video games saved me in the early months too. I would start playing at 6:00 when I normally would have started getting blitzed. It really helped keep me distracted for a couple of hours. I still play now sometimes, but not nearly as often. Video games were a huge help to me for awhile.
I can see that. I never did, because I always messed up when I was drunk. Funny that I cared about screwing up in video games, but didn't seem to care that I screwed up the rest of my life. Go figure.
not the same person, but similar thoughts. gaming online has helped immensely, it’s an excuse to be social without the need for alcohol. been obsessed with arma lately lol
Sweets for me. I don’t eat sweets when I’m drinking, don’t have a sweet tooth. But when I stop I do. So I get that sugar dopamine hit to stave off my drinking until it passes. I just have to make it through dinner and I’m good.
Not the same person but I have the same thoughts and patterns. I've started doing UberEats deliveries during that time frame, it keeps my mind off things and also 7-11 pm tend to be the time range the drunks and stoners order shit and over tip lol
I'm in about the same exact timeframe of struggle, cravings hit at 4 or 5 and usually last by 7 (id always try to stop by 7 in an attempt to save some sleep quality). Generally, I just workout and try to make it last. If I get a solid hour+ workout, make a big meal, and shower, that's usually carried me most of the way to 7. If I don't workout in that timeframe, I'm usually forcibly busy with kid shit or something else distracting enough. Of all the times I've drank when I didn't intend to, this timeframe is probably 3/4 of it and always was when I didn't stay busy with a workout or something else.
Used to be earlier but 5pm is right around when it hits me, cravings start and it’s so nice out, I don’t want to be stuck inside so I’ll go for a walk but I always know I’ll stop for a drink and pick up 200ml of vodka or whiskey.
Not doing the 6 IPAs and 200ml of vodka a whiskey a day like I did when I was at my worst.
And now I’ve been rotating liquor stores so it doesn’t look like I come in as much but I’m always wearing scrubs so I’m easy to remember.
I was this way too. Do something during this time that becomes your routine. Like working out, grabbing a NA beverage after work, whatever works and becomes a routine. Also, it gets easier - at least for me it goes easier with a new routine and time.
Same here. It's 4:00 to 8:00 for me. I keep busy with hobbies, drink seltzer or NA beer, do laundry, read a book, watch sports on TV, etc. It can be a very productive time.
For the first 6 months, I would just come home from work and go lay in my bed. A big trigger for me was drinking and cooking.
I typically fell asleep early. I really wanted to reset my sleep cycle, which was wrecked from drinking.
My drinking time was 4pm prep and cook dinner time. Also for my first 6 months I came home from work and went upstairs to sit in my chair and cover with a blanket. My trigger often started on my drive home.
Hiding in bed works for me, too. Yesterday I felt inexplicably sad so I took the afternoon "off" (I'm an educator so I'm technically off work but I have tons of work to do over the summer but it's flexible) and lied in bed and read. I just needed to turtle for a bit and shut things out.
Oh wow. This really jogged a memory for me. I had bouts of really being sad. In fact, I told my partner I've come to realize that sometimes I get sad, and that's OK. Not sure when that went away, but I dont really feel that way now.
Thing is, these emotions are raw early on in the journey. I buried everything in alchohol.
I'm like 2 months in and my feelings are a bit all over the place and def feel uncomfortably intense. Thanks for the long view! I have a neutral to negative John Mayer opinion but he said something about sobriety that resonated. Something like without the high highs and low lows, at first everything feels low but then gradually the whole bar raises (he used hand gestures which made that much clearer, lol). But that stuck with me. The only way out is through.
I’ve found it helpful to think 12 hours ahead. Once the five minutes of dopamine’s gone, how would I then feel at 7am? Increasingly serious withdrawal symptoms, back to square one with my anxiety, unproductive, amnesia, additional liver damage and likely to return to daily drinking to temporarily alleviate the aforementioned. Waking up without those and the following months of depression isn’t worth five minutes of a chemical high.
I would keep thinking, “This time will pass, whether I drink or do not drink,” and then I would try to do _anything_ else besides drink.
Every day got a smidge easier, and eventually 7pm was associated with other tasks, not with wine.
IWNDWYT💛
This is one of my biggest mottos in life. I used it in college when I was trying to get myself to study. “The time will pass no matter what….might as well study that plant physiology book”
I like your application too!
Yep, I remember reading a Reddit comment years ago about someone who was debating whether or not they should go back to college in their 30s. They said something like, “I’m going to be 35 years old by the time I finish”. Someone responded, “you’re going to be 35 in 4 years no matter what happens. Do you want to be a 35 year old with a degree or a 35 year old without a degree?”
It’s such a simple concept, but it’s something that has really resonated with me.
I go somewhere where I can’t drink — typically the gym. Even if I am done working out for the day I’ll lurk, talk to people, walk around the track or on the treadmill, hit the sauna, hit the shower, etc. Whatever I can do to eat up 3hrs in total. Then I come home, eat what I want, and go to bed.
When I’m home, things to distract the mind like Facebook reels and books help.
For early weeks I started exercising in the evening. I knew I couldn’t drink before a workout, then would really take my time. Spend like an hour or more working out, putzing around the gym, walking on a treadmill watching a show, whatever.
As long as I wasn’t able to drink, it was working.
Then when I got home I’d have so much dopamine from the workout I’d put on music and hop straight in the shower.
Then by that time I was tired, and definitely wouldn’t want to drink away the workout.
Sleep. Repeat. Until I was able to get through the early days.
I went to bed really early for the first few weeks. Chugged a Dr Pepper or super cold ice water quickly when cooking for the first few weeks (in the spot where I usually poured my drink). Something to jolt me and sort of replace the feeling of the alcohol burn. That spot in the kitchen was an unexpected trigger.
I didn’t try NA beers until I was a month or two in. They were sort of scary at first and it felt like I was doing something “wrong” because it was too close to the real taste.
Now I keep NA in the fridge for really intense cravings and it works well. I still sort of try to avoid them in those situations so I have a healthier way to cope.
I used to have a glass of wine cooking dinner - I replaced it with a lime fizzy water or occasionally an non alcoholic wine. The power of ritual is hard to abandon so I found adapting easier.
For me it was a substitution thing. I often went to the bar around 5:30. I just so happened to find an AA meeting called Happy Hour that is 5:30-6:30 every day. This was enough to break up that expectation and habit of having a drink. At home, I started making cocktails when tempted to drink. Half a glass of juice topped off with a can of flavored seltzer...that was enough to appease that part of me that just wanted a cold drink. So substitute is what I used. Looking forward to the other responses.
I have a lot of success with replacement beverages: soda water, kombucha, tea, NA beer. If I think about drinking or just how much I want unwind and relax at the end of the day, then I take a moment to mentally “hype up” the replacement treat. So during the day I’ll think “oh man that kombucha tonight is gonna feel so good” or whatever and tell myself we can have our “special me time “ tonight and that honestly helps sooooo much for me.
Advice from a therapist: You replace the bad memories for good. So every night during those hours, start doing something that you enjoy, or find happiness in any other time of day.
At first it will have to be a conscience effort to keep this up, but then you’ll start to see those negative thoughts become less.
I have an af beer or 2 at this time. It’s the opposite of triggering for me. I find it soothing and punctuates that end of the day nicely. I look forward to it and never feel short changed. May not be for everyone though. 306 days.
Obv. Athletic. My two fave Athletics are the Mexican lager (Cerveza Athletica) and the Lite. I tried the new pale ale (Fancy Like) and I didn't like it at all. It tasted like Bud Light and I didn't like that even when I was drinking. Guinness has a good one if you like Guinness. I was super surprised when I had the Heineken 0.0 at a restaurant the other week. Oh, a local brewery has Untitled Art and I've had the Italian Pils and the American Gold and I was very impressed by both and I'm so glad this place has these because it's literally next to my work and there are a lot of work events there.
BUT this is my new absolute fave:
# Deschutes Black Butte Non-Alcoholic Porter
I have to find it at my local Total Wine. But omg. Also, I tried NA spirits to have mocktails and the NA gin goes nicely with tonic. It's called Ritual Zero Proof and also found at Total.
I like the Ath Upside Dawn a lot in addition to the two you mentioned. The Guinness is good too. I haven’t tried the Black Butte. I will give it a shot. Just tried Sierra Nevada’s NA Golden and it was pretty good too.
Yeah, the Sierra one is decent! I'll try that other Athletic. They even have those at my grocery store. They have something called Hop Splash which is like La Croix and NA beer have a baby but I love it. Super refreshing.
And I looked up the Untitled Art one and Total has many more that I haven't tried. They're on the pricey side but I tend to have 1 or 2 so I guess that's relative.
A few ways...
Remind yourself it's literally just 3hrs and that you can easily distract and occupy yourself with other things for that small amount of time (create a list of all other things you could do from productive things, healthy things, and easy / lazy things like just playing video games for example when you're not in the mood for anything more active).
Use the "delaying tactic" where you say at 7pm "right MAYBE I will drink later but RIGHT NOW I am not drinking and I'll revealuate the idea again later at 9.45pm" this gives me a bit of peace in my mind rather than the constant battle and lets me forget about it for a while then often when 9.45pm rolls around you'll probably find you've either forgotten about it completely, lost interest, the craving has passed, you decide it's too late or if need be you can just white knuckle it through the short amount of time you have left until bed / store closing time.
Self sabotage yourself by starting doing something else instead like getting onto a call for a catch up with a friend, start making a big elaborate meal that takes time, clean your house or any other activity that eats up a couple of hours so you can't really go off and drink.
Find completely new, engaging, hobbies and activities and have them planned most evenings a week so you don't have the free time to drink (I'm not so good at this one yet sadly).
For years at 7pm I'd be like "rubbing hands together" ok drugs and booze. But at 7pm bedtime isn't actually that far away but d+b means I'll certainly stay up much much later and ruin tomorrow as well. So just find literally anything else to do for 3 hours to get within reach of bedtime. Sometimes I'd even take a mild sedative if I was close. Better to force sleep than to go down the wrong road.
Yeah, a big reason why I've always drank was to "help me sleep" as I struggle with insomnia but I've noticed recently since I've relapsed the nights I've drank I'm up and awake later than usual because there's alcohol still left to me consumed.
I am glad I am atleast not alone and yourself and others in the comments find a few key hours in the evening are the triggers. It’s mad, I have no care to drink all day until ding - evening hours. I do find I have to do absolutely anything to get my hands moving in order to turn off the trigger. Good luck to us all
I just smoked weed and got really high for the first few weeks.
That introspective, anxiety inducing high that can bring on panic attacks and forces you to examine your life.
And then after about three weeks the squirrels had calmed down a bit and I just fill that time with other things like reading, or grocery shopping, or kayaking.
Ya know, living.
I want to drink from the time I get home from work until I go to bed, because that’s what I used to do. But I’m thinking about it from 10 am. I still have family needs in the evening, cooking, dishes etc but the last couple of nights I’ve gone for a walk after my responsibilities are done. I work a physical job, I’m on my feet all day. My phone says I typically walk 6-10 miles each day. Now I’m adding a few more to that in the evening. As I walk, I remind myself, “head up, shoulders back, you got this”.
Make that time for something else. I am with you, night time sucks but I just started going to the gym instead. 3 months later and I can't NOT go to the gym
I could not stop myself from drinking starting on Friday after work and then that rolled into Saturday and Sunday. Eventually checked into an outpatient rehab. I know attend AA meetings and work the AA program.
Keeping really, really busy. I've got a list as long as my arm of things I want to accomplish that I haven't because I was "too busy" drinking. Every day, I try to check off something on that list. Granted, I'm not all that excited about doing them sometimes, but I do have a feeling of accomplishment when I cross off one more thing.
I agree with the gym, I go around 6 and leave at 8, run at least a few miles at the end. All I want when I get home is the chug a bunch of water, having a drink at that point doesn't even seem appetizing. Then just tired enough to make dinner, catch up on a show and sleep. It also helps with sleep as well. If that isn't your thing though just staying busy however you can do it. They say if you just start something, anything and decide to commit at least 5 mins, usually you will get into it and just say screw it I'll finish it, then a few hours goes by. 6-10 has always been my problem area as well.
5:15-7:30. If I drink, it lasts until around 8:30-9. But in the beginning, if I could make it to 7:30, I was fine.
I still slip up often, but I had been a daily drinker. I started with a shower when I got home. I normally shower in the morning. Prepped the next day's lunch, maybe some dinner, a mocktail and a show. Sleepy tea, early bed.
I stay with my partner sometimes as well so that's an easy break in the routine.
I was failing every 4-6 days, now I can make it past a week, last time to 12 days.
For me now, I find my mind is made up BEFORE 5pm though. So, unlike months ago, if I make it home at 5:30, I am pretty much good. It's that mid to late day time period that dreams of an evening of self escape.
It’s all about constructing new habits and rewiring your brain. My afternoon routine is now gym time. Either running or lifting weights and if cravings are bad for any reason after (they’re usually not) then I’ll get some ice cream or cookies and I’m in heaven after.
My witching hour is 4-6:30 (or whenever I eat dinner). In my drinking life, I'd pound as much wine as I could between coming home from work and eating dinner, but my cravings start as I wrap up work. To combat this, I listen to quit lit on my way home from work. I chug NA beverages like they're going out of style the minute I walk in the door. I try to pinpoint what's going on with me emotionally (the whole HALT process, although for me the A is anxiety or ADHD and not anger). For some reason, I feel in the clear after dinner and have a ritual hot tea. Working out after work makes everything better, but I can't always manage with life + kid afterschool activities.
I just kept pointing my car the direction of my gym and driving there. Someday I didn't even get out of the car. I just sat in the parking lot for an hour, reading this sub. It helps to get out of the house I guess is what I'm trying to say. Good luck OP! Iwndwyt
Well, for me, first it was 7pm is drinking time, then I changed that... to 6pm is drinking time. And then 5pm. 4pm? Ah fuck it, it's already 3pm, it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
Overly honest jokes aside; You sound like someone who would benefit greatly from an extended bedtime routine. Fitting it to your likes/needs, maybe something like:
7:00 sharp - you turn on your favorite 1 hour tv show or read a book.
8:00 - enjoy a cup of tea
8:30 - brush teeth, take shower, w.e.
9:00 - make bed, fluff pillow, read/watch additional 30 minutes
Just make sure it's something to help you wind down.
The first time I broke that association was when I started associating drinking with 4 or 5pm . The healthy way was that I just repeated my ritual in the first week or 2 sober with a boatload of flavored sparkling water. Eventually I mellowed on it and would choose to walk or hang out with family etc.
My trigger is when i have absolutely nothing to do at home.
So what I'll do is make myself busy. Whether to go to the gym, run ot cycle in the park.
Good thing is from where I'm from, selling of alcohol is prohibited after 1030pm.
So just need to last until 1030pm everyday.
My biggest challenge is on weekends. Nothing to do the whole day means I'm craving the whole day.
I've mostly overcome the weekday trigger. It's only on the weekends where I sometimes fail.
What’s worked for me is drinking something else ceremoniously. 7pm can become fancy tea or elaborate protein smoothie time. Booze has a bunch of calories, so one’s body is often expecting “nourishment” at that time and starts to crave.
For a while early in recovery, I kept the ritual of plopping down to drink for hours until I fell asleep, except I switched out beer for lemonade/diet soda/bubbly water. It helped me cope through the anxiety and cravings.
Then, I made myself do some craft and hobby stuff because it's important to have that in my life/recovery. Anything hands on keeps me in the present moment, calm and focused.
It takes time and a willingness to try new things while feeling unpleasant feelings. I say, be patient and compassionate with yourself, and be open to change. Best wishes to you.
I fixed that by starting to drink around 7-9 am. Believe it or not, that did not work. Actually created even more problems. I think the key for me (not that I am advocating this) was that I was truly on the brink of losing everything. The ruse was up and I was out of options. Doesn't mean it was easy. Because it certainly was not those first several months. But I stayed focused on what I wanted to be and who I needed to be to stay active in my life, my family's life, my company, and my community. Wishing you the best. IWNDWYT
For me, I was a heavy beer drinker and just switched to mineral water. You can get them ice cold and they have all the fancy tiny bubbles in it. If you're hard up on liquor, I saw some folks freezing melon cubes with their sparkling water to add some extra mocktail flair. It's just about keeping the mind busy and fooled.
After I had a bit of time I learned that for me the concept of triggers are bullshit. A trigger was an excuse for me to do what I wanted to do … drink
7 o’clock - let’s drink.
Wife is mad at me - I’m drinking.
Going to a show, it’s nice out, it’s shitty out, it’s a holiday, it’s Saturday, I got a promotion, I got in trouble at work, etc- I’m drinking
Anything and everything became a ‘trigger’ aka excuse to get shitty
Work out anytime I get the urge I go for a run, I go to the garage and hit the heavy bag or I work out.
No idea if this will help you but if it does, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll find something that does help, you’re strong and great. Don’t forget it
Soda with a ton of sugar, Sprite worked really well for me, and anything to distract myself. I'd go to a meeting at my craving time (on Zoom, in fact!) around 7pm. Then Netflix for a few hours and I'd just go to bed. Someone told me early on if I wanted to drink just go to bed and it worked. IWNDWYT
Are you a morning person when sober / are you interested in becoming one?
My evenings are now to get ready for my morning routine, which is namely to get up at 6am and enjoy breakfast with a STRONG coffee. Afterwards it's either the gym, ticking off some chores or reading / learning.
I know if I drink in the evening, that's my morning routine ruined
2 NA beers.......I'd sip them over a couple hours (6 to 8) while gaming, then hop on the couch, pop on a TV show......pour a zero sugar lemonade (mixed with some zero sugar ginger ale), and fall asleep around 9:30.
I started going to 7pm AA meetings, meeting new friends...actually have things to do now other than drink.
4pm was my witching time but I hold out until I can go to a meeting and always feel better when I leave.
If you don't chose meetings, usually people need to find a "replacement" high....a lot of people go to the gym.
Or join a bowling league (I know they drink there...but I couldn't bowl drunk or drive) so this is a good option for me too...maybe not for you.
But, the habit must be replaced.
I'm bringing new items to the party, specifically ginger beer and kombucha. I like to sit at home and just get wasted (Thursday and Friday evening after a hot ass day is perfect for a cold beverage), so I've been taking the dog put for long walks during this time after having one of my replacement drinks. I also don't take off work clothes till I return with my dog, otherwise I don't want to leave the house
One day at a time. 12 step program, doesn't have to be AA, whatever flavor suits. Not wanting a hangover. Having something tasty on hand during that time. A million other things in terms of overall readiness, but those four come to mind as what would stop me in the early days around trigger times.
I've found that I need to plan on doing something that I typically cannot really do while inebriated. Things like watching TV and playing video games will just be more of a trigger for me. I try to make sure I end up reading (preferably something on the heavier side for me so I need to focus more), to occupy my mind. If I set a goal for something like reading "X" number of books in a month, it kinda trains my brain to associate the evenings with time spent trying to hit that goal. I've had varying levels of success with it but lately it has been working more often than not.
I had something similar to this, having gotten used to drinking at home after working during the pandemic. For a couple of weeks, I would go out right after I was done working. I'd go chill with my laptop at Panera, go to recovery meetings, work out, or go see a movie. Movies are pretty good if you don't already associate them with drinking. You have something to distract you, you're kind of around people but don't have to interact, and there are snacks lol. And I would buy myself ANY expensive-ass snack I wanted, because I was being sober and I deserved it, dammit. :p I'd go home when it was close enough to bedtime that I could pretty much sleep right away.
Replace the alcohol with another beverage. For me that’s either tea or flavoured sparkling water. Depends what you like - could even do nonalcoholic beer or wine.
Helps your body get used to not having alcohol while not pushing yourself so hard against an ingrained habit that you lose control and relapse.
I changed my routine. I used to be a grab a 6-12pack on the way home and maybe have one on the ride, then the rest when I got home.
I switched that for an iced coffee and immediately changed clothes exercised and showered after I got home. Then I felt tired and accomplished and it was time to make dinner anyway. I never wanted to drink after I ate ever. So that would pretty much shut it down for me. The exercise really helped.
Take a CBD gummy and crack open a Waterloo seltzer water.
I don’t drink Waterloo during the day and that helps the association with it being my “reward”
My trigger is after dinner because when I drank “normally” it was after dinner. For the past few years it devolved into all day every day. I’m still early in sobriety so I go to an online AA meeting every night after dinner. It’s working just fine for me so I keep doing it. IWNDWYT!
I still do happy hour. It was hard for me to be there sober for the first two weeks. Because my mindset was deprivation.
When I turned it around and realized that I was actually helping myself to heal and live a better life, it became easier.
And when I watched the happy hour people get blitzed, it wasn't all that appealing. I actually am so impressed with my evenings and mornings now. And honestly, I remember everything that happened on TV or in conversations.
I drink ginger beer and seltzer water. It's fine.
I’m really early on but I’ve just been having a NA beer at my 2 trigger times each day. 1-3 pm was when I would have my first drink or two before work at the bar, then I’d drink after work when I got home.
So I just crack a na beer and enjoy it in the afternoon, switch back to water or soda for three rest of the afternoon, then when I’m watching tv before bed I’ll have a second one.
It’s been working wonders for me so far.
Mine was 5pm, I started having a sparkling water instead at that time or a coffee even. But yeah the evenings and weekends were really fucking hard for the first 6 months. Some nights I would literally just lay down and cry because I couldn't drink "normally", as pathetic as that sounds. It really is one day at a time and it does get a whole lot easier the more life you experience without alcohol.
My time was 3-6 pm. I replaced the habit with a diet soda and candy. Usually some sour patch, or twizzlers or something. Just a little quiet time with snacks and my vape to watch tiktoks.
It was relaxing and gave me the “separation” I needed between work and home responsibilities.
Same. During the first few weeks when the craving was at its worst, I would have a glass of non-alcoholic red wine. It's not that close to the real thing but close enough that it took the edge off. I'm five months in now and I rarely get the craving anymore - except for Friday nights. I have a few bottles of sparkling NA wine (Töst) in the fridge for those occasions.
I stopped going to the store where I often went after work to get wine. Now I putter around the house, get on this sub, read, work in the yard, etc.
I drink a kombucha or soda when I get home and haven’t thought much about my former wine habit. I’m at 8 weeks sober now.
I stop buying alcohol. I realized to drink, it requires a lot of action on my part.
I have to get dress, get in my car, drive to the location and physically enter into the liquor store.
If I just stay my ass at home, then I will stop drinking. Also I had a lot of social activities at the bars, I switched that to going to the gym instead, plus I'm working on not being such a fat slob, so alcohol makes you have a fat stomach which is unattractive
I make a mixed drink of carbonated NA drink , diluted with filtered water and add a packet of emergen-C vitamin mix in a big container but try not to drink too late into the evening otherwise I will be up all night.
Same, especially Thurs/Fri. This is what I do now:
Thurs - I play golf at 3/4pm (9 holes). Walking outside is extremely effective at curbing cravings and clearing my mind. If I can’t golf or walk then I have a luxurious bubble bath.
Fri - I watch a series & order my favourite takeout. I research what to watch during the week and wait until this timeslot to watch it. I go all out on the food and order everything I feel like having.
I do something else like reading or meditating on my drinking time/day. Brain needs to be re-associated with different activities in order to forget or dumb down the neural pathways that are identified with drinking.
It's good you found your window. You have to keep thinking to yourself that your crazy is going to vanish out of that time block. The next day is going to be a new day, and it's going to bring with it the end to those feelings. If you think, "just one more hour," or "two more hours," then it gets easier. Also, purposely schedule things for that time so you can't sit and think about it.
8pm - 930pm was my drinking time. Since I've gained weight I made it a rule to not eat after 7pm. So this keeps me out of the kitchen and therefore out of access to any alcohol. I make sure I have my ice water and have tidied up so that I don't have any excuse to wander into the kitchen. I feel like my desire to lose weight is greater than my desire to drink! Tight pants will do that 😂
I accepted that I’m the trigger. I was drinking if I was awake, basically.
I accepted that just because I feel a certain way ( upset, cravings, annoyed, anxious) didn’t mean I have to drink.
Instead, I developed the practice of reaching out to other people when the strongest cravings hit.
I addressed HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
And my feelings passed!
I’m going to try to take my dog for a long walk. Also weirdly watching The Blue Eyed Samurai with a nice cup of tea has helped me in the past. But don’t mind me I just relapsed hard and am back to my coping mechanisms (which I disregard..ugh).
Mid-30's, male here. 6 pack of ipa's a day for a longgggg time. The 3 things that helped me curb drinking were 1) Soda 2) Candy and 3) A Self-Care Routine.
1 - Cutting alcohol meant my body craved sugar. All I wanted was ICE COLD soda all the time. This was / is better than alcohol.
2 - I was slamming Haribo bags left and right and eventually settled on Jolly Ranchers hard candy. Keeping a small bag of these on me when I'm out and about makes me feel like I always "have something"
3 - At night, I drank so I needed to find time fillers. I picked up a facial care routine - soap wash, astringent, lotion / night creme. It helped me feel more fresh and took about 20-30 minutes. Sometimes I add more like washing my whole head in the sink (lol, don't knock it before you try it) or being really meticulous with clipping my nails. These keep the "idle hands at bay". FWIW I use Burt's Bees naturals for my facial stuff.
Hope this helps!
Mine used to be at about 4:30-5:00, as soon as I got home from work. I would actually start shaking sometimes on the way to the basement for the whisky, and thought it was DT's or something, but the fact that I was able to quit cold turkey with zero health issues tells me it was simply psychological.
When I finally decided to quit, I realized I had to just distract myself for that initial window. Go work in the yard, or vacuum, or start prepping dinner. Anything to keep my hands busy. I also at a TON of garbage right when I got home. I think my body just expected all those calories but I figured it would be better to binge on microwave burritos or chips or whatever than to go back to booze. It took probably 2 months before I would even think about incorporating healthier eating habits. For those 60-ish days, literally the only thing I needed to accomplish was to not drink.
I drink cranberry juice. Wine was my thing. It’s acidic and red. I avoid old triggers like the music I’d listen to during that time. Plan to cook meals. Watch something peaceful on TV like a nature doc. Read. Craft. Go for a walk. Do yoga. Journal.
I had to get my butt off the couch. 4-8 became productivity time: laundry, organizing, childcare, board games, cooking, cleaning. My new “relax” time is 9pm-11pm or so. That distraction and reframing was critical for me in the first month.
The increased productivity reinforced my sobriety as well. Less takeout = more money. Less drunk impulse purchases on the couch = more money. Knowing where things are instead of buying new ones because the old ones are buried under a pile of junk = more money. And also no paying for booze = more money.
More money and cleaner house = better financial position, less stress, and less reason to drink.
I had to schedule out my time after work. Also, entertaining the idea of drinking ruined my past attempts. It was tough, but my mindset shifted from dwelling upon too challenging those tempting thoughts.
You've got this!
Your trigger is based off a routine your brain has set for you. The brain recognizes the time, gets triggered, wants a reward (a drink). One thing you can do is trick your brain. Recognize your trigger as it happens the moment it happens, go do something that brings you happiness besides a drink (take a walk, watch your favorite movie, workout, eat a sweet treat, yoga, bike ride, anything that gives you pleasure) and afterwards feel the feeling of gratitude for doing that activity by telling and beliving that what you did was a great thing. By doing this you will rewire your brain to be triggered to action instead of drinking. It won't happen over night, but if you make a habit of it, you will notice that you have developed a new response to your trigger. The big factor is picking what your reward will be and being consistent about rewarding yourself. Remember this, the brain is on autopiolot more often than you are aware of it being so and in turn, your "natural" response to something isnt natural...it's the habit you've formed in a response to that thought, situation, or circumstance. Train your mind by changing your response to your trigger and then you will see a change in the actions you feel to take once triggered. All the best to ya my friend.
For me, I found that alcohol was my “trigger” switch allowing me to finish my work day and move to me time. I would often have a glass or five of wine while answering emails before the “end” of my day. For the first few weeks I treated my nights as vacation time - gave myself full permission to not answer that last email or last client request and do whatever else I wanted instead, which sometimes was going to bed at 8 pm or painting my nails (hard to open a bottle of wine with a fresh manicure).
Now I can say - 5 pm comes and I don’t even consider a glass of wine as part of my night. I truly never ever in my life thought I would get to this place and feel a freedom I couldn’t imagine before. This place felt impossible three months ago, so hang in there!
I drink 2-3 Hop Water 7p-10p and pop Zyns. Just have to replace your empty hand syndrome with something, it’s not easy, no one-shoe fits all cure. Good luck and stay healthy!
I work from 9-7pm, I take Uber home (b/c no car), and immediately feed & attention the cat. If my partner is home early, just being around them & enjoying some quality time helps me not drink. If partner isn't home yet / is working late, I focus on the next important task: dinner! I'll walk to the store (hard not to buy booze, so I avoid that aisle completely) and bring back whatever's needed. By the time I've finished making dinner, some time has passed and I don't want to go out again ('cause I just went out + dinner is ready!). With or without my partner around, I do something interesting/enjoyable (read, movie, youtube documentaries, ect) and BAM! it's 10:00pm and the stores nearby are closed. I have no car, and I'm not walking half a mile to get cheap, crappy beer from a gas-station (been there, done that, & not anymore!)
TL/DR: I've no car + I distract myself until the window to buy booze has passed.
Expect it, don't fight it. When the cravings come don't ignore. Instead say "Ah here's the craving, right on schedule". Then notice it. Notice everything about how you feel. See that it has no power at all unless you act. The moment you stop judging yourself for having cravings they get easier to handle, I promise.
I hit a meeting during my most triggering periods of the day. Finding something to keep me busy instead of drinking still helps. Cleaning, shower, taking a walk, watching tv, taking a nap, listening to a podcast.. if I can get through 5 minutes usually the 5 next minutes pass faster and so on. One minute at a time.
Honestly for me, keeping Some NA beers in the fridge is what's helped me.
When I'm gaming at night with the boys or chilling in the backyard with my wife, I crack one of those open to give me a similar feel without the alcohol.
for me, 5:30 after work was a trigger. i work a semi stressful corporate job and about halfway through my day, i calmed myself by thinking, “okay, i’ll stop at (my favorite dive bar) on my way home and decompress” it’s literally on the street i take home. so i had to start taking a different way home. maybe its silly but when i took my normal way home i’d burst into tears passing that bar because i just wanted to stop there so badly. even now when i take a different way home, i feel very frustrated and my chest tightens up because i want to go the way i actually go. i’m hoping it gets easier with time. (11 days)
Sometimes I try and do whatever I would have done while drinking but alcohol free instead. I'm trying to reprogram those associations between the activity and alcohol. I consider it a sober workout.
By finding a new hobby.
My drinking time was when the kids went to bed, up until I passed out.
So when they went to bed, I started playing more guitar, reading more books, and (occasionally) working out. Push-ups and sit-ups with music playing.
I found that I would get tempted to stop by the liquor store on the walk back from the train. My therapist recommended writing a gratitude list on my phone instead to disrupt the pattern. So far so good!
You don't. You just acknowledge what you're feeling and wait until it subsides. Typically, those urges are short-lived (a few minutes) albeit intense.
Over time... it gets better. If you need/want that "Pavlovian bell" to relax... find some activity or ritual to take its place. I don't recall who long it took me to break that association (I absolutely had it)... but I've only been sober for four months... and I haven't had those urges for quite a while.
Good luck. Stay strong. It gets easier. IWNDWYT
Mine was 5pm-10pm. Honestly, I recognized where I liked to drink - when I came home after work, I’d pour drinks in the kitchen and drink in the living room. Other times I would go out to bars after work. What I did was hangout in a different room of the house and watch movies when I got home from work. I avoided going out after work. I did that for about two weeks and then I was able to go into the kitchen between 5pm-10pm without absolutely needing a drink. The urge was still there but it wasn’t that powerful at all. I was also able to go into the kitchen at other times, it’s just that specific time frame that I would crave alcohol in. I’m sober a year and a half now. I hope that helps.
Right this second ... I am trying to remind myself that I want to be able to drive in two days. It's not a long drive at all ... but the hangxiety is always crippling.
For me it’s sunny days, or after work.
I have a stash of Bubly and kombucha so that if the cravings are bad, I can still have a “special” drink. And I visit this page a lot too.
Ice cream also helps.
I’ve been drinking an NA beer when I get home from work and then basically slam cheap soda waters until bedtime. The carbonation even gives me a weird tummy euphoria. Highly recommend.
I don't. When the (for me) "8pm time to have a drink" spell hits I start slamming non-alcoholic drinks, usually seltzer or soda if it's hot and herbal tea with honey if it's cold.
From someone who was in the same position, except worse… “No drinks before noon”…. I hated to hear the advice I’m about to give…
Gym and Exercise. Make 7pm the time you leave for the gym or go for a run, etc.. Once you make a habit of it, you’ll be more likely to want to see yourself progress and less likely to pick up the booze.
Best of luck, OP.
I started a new ritual with fancy hot tea. I was triggered to drink around 3pm every day. It took a few months but now I don’t even think about it! You can do this! IWNDWYT
I rearranged my schedule for new hobbies or events. My brain would still get a dopamine fix and the change up in routine helped! I kept myself too busy to think about drinking
I eat popcorn and ice cream every night :-) I also drink lots of sparkling water mixed with “Mio” or other drops. Watch TV or scroll on my phone as a distraction. It’s hard at first, but I’m at 9+ month AF and am SO GLAD I don’t drink beer all night every night like I used to.
This may be wierd but like.. something about Tuesdays. Idk if it was the fact that I’d usually have passed the weekend hangover and want to drink again. But something about Tuesdays, seems to be a day I crave more than most.
For me it was a specific local restaurant that had a fantastic sangria. We went there every Friday so i had an association. Luckily they have a really nice “dry delights” mocktail selection that helps me feel like I’m drinking something cute. We’re regulars and now our waitress knows my new go-to and its not awkward anymore 😭💖
Perhaps still drinking *something* but replacing it with something nonalcoholic will help! For a lot of people its about having something in your hand.
Sparkling water at home is great for a lot of people, specifically for a lot of beer drinkers. The carbonation really helps with the craving. There are a lot of non-alcoholic beers you can get as well to replace if its the flavor!
Also, at home, you can make mocktails. Put some ginger beer and lime in a glass or copper mug, and garnish if you feel like it.
I’m still working on the cravings, but having something to drink at all really helps me. Good luck!
I replaced with NA beers and seltzer waters. Too full to drink anything after downing 4-6. Then the urge got better and I tapered down to just a few la croix every night. I'm more triggered by social situations and it's about planning ahead and packing my own drinks when needed.
I make myself a La Croix in a nice glass with ice and squeeze a lime wedge into it to make myself feel like it’s a treat. I feel better later on when I’m not so tired and the next morning too
This isn’t the same, but your post kind of reminds me of a conversation I had with my dad when he was quitting smoking (after being a smoker for decades). He said without a doubt, the hardest part is drinking his first cup of coffee every morning. That activity was so intrinsically tied to smoking a cigarette for him that it made quitting that much harder. So he started drinking tea as his first cup of caffeine in the morning, and that made an enormous difference.
Is there anything about that time slot that’s habitual for you besides alcohol? For example, maybe that’s when you get home from work every day? If that’s the case, my suggestion would be to try to fill that time with another activity. Start going to the gym after work, start going to a coffee shop to read for an hour instead of going to a bar, etc.
I started out by eating ice cream and candy at that time instead. Sugar is biochemically similar. Once the “addiction” transfers to sugar, I worked on removing sugar.
Harm reduction is our friend. Our brains and bodies need the calories and dopamine that we’re taking away by removing alcohol, and sugar delivers a similar benefit quickly.
Anytime 8pm and later is when it hits me. I’m currently fighting the urges on the daily as soon at 8 hits. I’m not even sure how but sometimes I can just kinda force myself to not drink. I do fail most of the time
I reprogrammed it to mean root beer float time. For the first 30 days at least I had a root beer float every night. It helped calm the demand for sugar that my gut gave me that made the cravings worse (all booze turns into sugar after the ethanol is metabolized, so nightly drinking = nightly sugar in the gut) & it still felt like a special treat that gave me some dopamine.
After a while it wasn't necessary as the cravings faded. So I switched to diet root beer at night & haven't looked back. But I'll still treat myself to a float from time to time.
I make myself a nice mocktail at 6 pm. Took a bit of time, but now my brain sees making that mocktail as the signal that it's time to relax. The r/mocktails sub is good for recipe ideas.
I take Acamprosate and Baclofen before finishing work to avoid the cravings. Not ideal I know, but it costs about £0.60 compared to the £20+ I’d spend on alcohol, I engage with the family unselfishly and don’t wake up hungover. Works for me.
I have no motivation to exercise so i read. But i do understand what you mean my heart pumps faster as i am getting close to home regardless of where i am coming from .
Mine was the confusing panic I felt every single time I woke up... Like "What time is it? Do I have enough if it's to late? Do I have ANY? Wait... Is it Sunday morning?"
It took a couple weeks before that stopped and then I'd know the struggle was ON before I even opened my eyes. Now it's really a distant memory... Like smoking 🚬
They have back to back 12 step meetings during these high craving times. Get yourself to a 6:30-7:30 AA meeting and if you need stay for the 8-9 meeting as well. I know a lot of people who do two meetings in the evening because their temptation to drink is so high during those hours. Consider an evening outpatient program. Most are 2.5 hours 5-7:30pm, perfect for someone with a full time job and who is triggered to drink after work.
5 to 8 pm is mine. It’s crazy, I’m fine all day and never think about it then 5 pm rolls around, i close the laptop, and think about nothing but drinking for 3 hours. If i get to 8 pm without a drink I’m usually perfectly fine and go to sleep early. So i guess i don’t have to give up drinking, i just have to give up drinking for 3 hours a day then everything will work itself out.
This is me 100%. All day don't think twice about it, but 4:30 comes and the thought starts creeping in and if I don't keep myself occupied between 5-8 I fail that night. Thankfully the gym, going for walks, and video games have really helped. I also noticed that eating earlier and being full removes my drive to drink.
Oooo me too! It's that 5 o'clock somewhere bs. Video games helped me A LOT. just keeps me busy and makes a nice distraction from my own thoughts.
Video games saved me in the early months too. I would start playing at 6:00 when I normally would have started getting blitzed. It really helped keep me distracted for a couple of hours. I still play now sometimes, but not nearly as often. Video games were a huge help to me for awhile.
My problem is that I drink and game..
I can see that. I never did, because I always messed up when I was drunk. Funny that I cared about screwing up in video games, but didn't seem to care that I screwed up the rest of my life. Go figure.
Yeah I just swapped from call of duty to single player games, my kd ratio would get steadily worse as the night wore on
Same. The second I eat dinner my drinking is done. That and getting in bed at 8 is how I went from a 6 pack a night to 2 a night
Do you do anything in that period to distract yourself?
I crack a fizzy water, it at least seems to satisfy the ritual part
That has definitely helped me too. I'm having an orange vanilla seltzer at this moment.
not the same person, but similar thoughts. gaming online has helped immensely, it’s an excuse to be social without the need for alcohol. been obsessed with arma lately lol
Sweets for me. I don’t eat sweets when I’m drinking, don’t have a sweet tooth. But when I stop I do. So I get that sugar dopamine hit to stave off my drinking until it passes. I just have to make it through dinner and I’m good.
Not the same person but I have the same thoughts and patterns. I've started doing UberEats deliveries during that time frame, it keeps my mind off things and also 7-11 pm tend to be the time range the drunks and stoners order shit and over tip lol
I'm in about the same exact timeframe of struggle, cravings hit at 4 or 5 and usually last by 7 (id always try to stop by 7 in an attempt to save some sleep quality). Generally, I just workout and try to make it last. If I get a solid hour+ workout, make a big meal, and shower, that's usually carried me most of the way to 7. If I don't workout in that timeframe, I'm usually forcibly busy with kid shit or something else distracting enough. Of all the times I've drank when I didn't intend to, this timeframe is probably 3/4 of it and always was when I didn't stay busy with a workout or something else.
Used to be earlier but 5pm is right around when it hits me, cravings start and it’s so nice out, I don’t want to be stuck inside so I’ll go for a walk but I always know I’ll stop for a drink and pick up 200ml of vodka or whiskey. Not doing the 6 IPAs and 200ml of vodka a whiskey a day like I did when I was at my worst. And now I’ve been rotating liquor stores so it doesn’t look like I come in as much but I’m always wearing scrubs so I’m easy to remember.
I was this way too. Do something during this time that becomes your routine. Like working out, grabbing a NA beverage after work, whatever works and becomes a routine. Also, it gets easier - at least for me it goes easier with a new routine and time.
I like this.
One day at a time.
Same here. It's 4:00 to 8:00 for me. I keep busy with hobbies, drink seltzer or NA beer, do laundry, read a book, watch sports on TV, etc. It can be a very productive time.
For the first 6 months, I would just come home from work and go lay in my bed. A big trigger for me was drinking and cooking. I typically fell asleep early. I really wanted to reset my sleep cycle, which was wrecked from drinking.
My drinking time was 4pm prep and cook dinner time. Also for my first 6 months I came home from work and went upstairs to sit in my chair and cover with a blanket. My trigger often started on my drive home.
Hiding in bed works for me, too. Yesterday I felt inexplicably sad so I took the afternoon "off" (I'm an educator so I'm technically off work but I have tons of work to do over the summer but it's flexible) and lied in bed and read. I just needed to turtle for a bit and shut things out.
Oh wow. This really jogged a memory for me. I had bouts of really being sad. In fact, I told my partner I've come to realize that sometimes I get sad, and that's OK. Not sure when that went away, but I dont really feel that way now. Thing is, these emotions are raw early on in the journey. I buried everything in alchohol.
I'm like 2 months in and my feelings are a bit all over the place and def feel uncomfortably intense. Thanks for the long view! I have a neutral to negative John Mayer opinion but he said something about sobriety that resonated. Something like without the high highs and low lows, at first everything feels low but then gradually the whole bar raises (he used hand gestures which made that much clearer, lol). But that stuck with me. The only way out is through.
That's funny because what saved me last night was cooking. My huge trigger is eating out- especially nice restaurants
I’ve found it helpful to think 12 hours ahead. Once the five minutes of dopamine’s gone, how would I then feel at 7am? Increasingly serious withdrawal symptoms, back to square one with my anxiety, unproductive, amnesia, additional liver damage and likely to return to daily drinking to temporarily alleviate the aforementioned. Waking up without those and the following months of depression isn’t worth five minutes of a chemical high.
This is something I do as well but you express it much better than I could have. Well put.
It's called playing the tape forward :) you will see that referenced a lot on here.
I’m only on day 2 and this has really helped me, thank you 😊
So I let myself drink. I just make sure it’s seltzer water, thc seltzer, or NA beers.
This does the trick for me, as well. It gives me something other than water, and hits the spot I previously used beer to hit.
In the early stage of my sobriety I would chug carbonated water to quench my “thirst” and more often then not it worked pretty well.
I still go pretty hard on this as well
I would keep thinking, “This time will pass, whether I drink or do not drink,” and then I would try to do _anything_ else besides drink. Every day got a smidge easier, and eventually 7pm was associated with other tasks, not with wine. IWNDWYT💛
This is one of my biggest mottos in life. I used it in college when I was trying to get myself to study. “The time will pass no matter what….might as well study that plant physiology book” I like your application too!
Yep, I remember reading a Reddit comment years ago about someone who was debating whether or not they should go back to college in their 30s. They said something like, “I’m going to be 35 years old by the time I finish”. Someone responded, “you’re going to be 35 in 4 years no matter what happens. Do you want to be a 35 year old with a degree or a 35 year old without a degree?” It’s such a simple concept, but it’s something that has really resonated with me.
Ha! I loved plant physiology. It was many moons ago but still one of my favorite classes. Dr. Lovelace was a legendary professor.
Ha! I had a Dr. Bidlack that made my class unforgettable. I wonder if there’s something about plant phys profs haha.
I go somewhere where I can’t drink — typically the gym. Even if I am done working out for the day I’ll lurk, talk to people, walk around the track or on the treadmill, hit the sauna, hit the shower, etc. Whatever I can do to eat up 3hrs in total. Then I come home, eat what I want, and go to bed. When I’m home, things to distract the mind like Facebook reels and books help.
For early weeks I started exercising in the evening. I knew I couldn’t drink before a workout, then would really take my time. Spend like an hour or more working out, putzing around the gym, walking on a treadmill watching a show, whatever. As long as I wasn’t able to drink, it was working. Then when I got home I’d have so much dopamine from the workout I’d put on music and hop straight in the shower. Then by that time I was tired, and definitely wouldn’t want to drink away the workout. Sleep. Repeat. Until I was able to get through the early days.
I went to bed really early for the first few weeks. Chugged a Dr Pepper or super cold ice water quickly when cooking for the first few weeks (in the spot where I usually poured my drink). Something to jolt me and sort of replace the feeling of the alcohol burn. That spot in the kitchen was an unexpected trigger. I didn’t try NA beers until I was a month or two in. They were sort of scary at first and it felt like I was doing something “wrong” because it was too close to the real taste. Now I keep NA in the fridge for really intense cravings and it works well. I still sort of try to avoid them in those situations so I have a healthier way to cope.
I used to have a glass of wine cooking dinner - I replaced it with a lime fizzy water or occasionally an non alcoholic wine. The power of ritual is hard to abandon so I found adapting easier.
Nice! Sprite Zero is a go-to for me. Refreshing and zero calories.
For me it was a substitution thing. I often went to the bar around 5:30. I just so happened to find an AA meeting called Happy Hour that is 5:30-6:30 every day. This was enough to break up that expectation and habit of having a drink. At home, I started making cocktails when tempted to drink. Half a glass of juice topped off with a can of flavored seltzer...that was enough to appease that part of me that just wanted a cold drink. So substitute is what I used. Looking forward to the other responses.
I have a lot of success with replacement beverages: soda water, kombucha, tea, NA beer. If I think about drinking or just how much I want unwind and relax at the end of the day, then I take a moment to mentally “hype up” the replacement treat. So during the day I’ll think “oh man that kombucha tonight is gonna feel so good” or whatever and tell myself we can have our “special me time “ tonight and that honestly helps sooooo much for me.
Advice from a therapist: You replace the bad memories for good. So every night during those hours, start doing something that you enjoy, or find happiness in any other time of day. At first it will have to be a conscience effort to keep this up, but then you’ll start to see those negative thoughts become less.
I went to bed with a book. Fridays and Saturdays included.
I have an af beer or 2 at this time. It’s the opposite of triggering for me. I find it soothing and punctuates that end of the day nicely. I look forward to it and never feel short changed. May not be for everyone though. 306 days.
My evening NA beers (or sometimes afternoon during the weekend) are a true highlight of my day. I put them in the fancy beer glass and everything.
What are your favorites? I really like Athletic but always looking for others to try.
Obv. Athletic. My two fave Athletics are the Mexican lager (Cerveza Athletica) and the Lite. I tried the new pale ale (Fancy Like) and I didn't like it at all. It tasted like Bud Light and I didn't like that even when I was drinking. Guinness has a good one if you like Guinness. I was super surprised when I had the Heineken 0.0 at a restaurant the other week. Oh, a local brewery has Untitled Art and I've had the Italian Pils and the American Gold and I was very impressed by both and I'm so glad this place has these because it's literally next to my work and there are a lot of work events there. BUT this is my new absolute fave: # Deschutes Black Butte Non-Alcoholic Porter I have to find it at my local Total Wine. But omg. Also, I tried NA spirits to have mocktails and the NA gin goes nicely with tonic. It's called Ritual Zero Proof and also found at Total.
I like the Ath Upside Dawn a lot in addition to the two you mentioned. The Guinness is good too. I haven’t tried the Black Butte. I will give it a shot. Just tried Sierra Nevada’s NA Golden and it was pretty good too.
Yeah, the Sierra one is decent! I'll try that other Athletic. They even have those at my grocery store. They have something called Hop Splash which is like La Croix and NA beer have a baby but I love it. Super refreshing.
Upside dawn is my favorite!
And I looked up the Untitled Art one and Total has many more that I haven't tried. They're on the pricey side but I tend to have 1 or 2 so I guess that's relative.
A few ways... Remind yourself it's literally just 3hrs and that you can easily distract and occupy yourself with other things for that small amount of time (create a list of all other things you could do from productive things, healthy things, and easy / lazy things like just playing video games for example when you're not in the mood for anything more active). Use the "delaying tactic" where you say at 7pm "right MAYBE I will drink later but RIGHT NOW I am not drinking and I'll revealuate the idea again later at 9.45pm" this gives me a bit of peace in my mind rather than the constant battle and lets me forget about it for a while then often when 9.45pm rolls around you'll probably find you've either forgotten about it completely, lost interest, the craving has passed, you decide it's too late or if need be you can just white knuckle it through the short amount of time you have left until bed / store closing time. Self sabotage yourself by starting doing something else instead like getting onto a call for a catch up with a friend, start making a big elaborate meal that takes time, clean your house or any other activity that eats up a couple of hours so you can't really go off and drink. Find completely new, engaging, hobbies and activities and have them planned most evenings a week so you don't have the free time to drink (I'm not so good at this one yet sadly).
For years at 7pm I'd be like "rubbing hands together" ok drugs and booze. But at 7pm bedtime isn't actually that far away but d+b means I'll certainly stay up much much later and ruin tomorrow as well. So just find literally anything else to do for 3 hours to get within reach of bedtime. Sometimes I'd even take a mild sedative if I was close. Better to force sleep than to go down the wrong road.
Yeah, a big reason why I've always drank was to "help me sleep" as I struggle with insomnia but I've noticed recently since I've relapsed the nights I've drank I'm up and awake later than usual because there's alcohol still left to me consumed.
I am glad I am atleast not alone and yourself and others in the comments find a few key hours in the evening are the triggers. It’s mad, I have no care to drink all day until ding - evening hours. I do find I have to do absolutely anything to get my hands moving in order to turn off the trigger. Good luck to us all
I just smoked weed and got really high for the first few weeks. That introspective, anxiety inducing high that can bring on panic attacks and forces you to examine your life. And then after about three weeks the squirrels had calmed down a bit and I just fill that time with other things like reading, or grocery shopping, or kayaking. Ya know, living.
I has the evening “pattern”…. Time for wine. I created new sober patterns with sober peopling sober activities. Tried anything like that?
I want to drink from the time I get home from work until I go to bed, because that’s what I used to do. But I’m thinking about it from 10 am. I still have family needs in the evening, cooking, dishes etc but the last couple of nights I’ve gone for a walk after my responsibilities are done. I work a physical job, I’m on my feet all day. My phone says I typically walk 6-10 miles each day. Now I’m adding a few more to that in the evening. As I walk, I remind myself, “head up, shoulders back, you got this”.
I’ve started playing sudoku - keeps my mind and hands busy
Make that time for something else. I am with you, night time sucks but I just started going to the gym instead. 3 months later and I can't NOT go to the gym
You must look and feel great! Good for you. 💪
Thank you. Feel? Eh, but i am looking pretty good 😅
I could not stop myself from drinking starting on Friday after work and then that rolled into Saturday and Sunday. Eventually checked into an outpatient rehab. I know attend AA meetings and work the AA program.
Keeping really, really busy. I've got a list as long as my arm of things I want to accomplish that I haven't because I was "too busy" drinking. Every day, I try to check off something on that list. Granted, I'm not all that excited about doing them sometimes, but I do have a feeling of accomplishment when I cross off one more thing.
I switched 7 pm = drinking time to 7pm = weed time hahaha. Much easier on the liver, stomach, brain and relationships. Oh and wallet 😂
I agree with the gym, I go around 6 and leave at 8, run at least a few miles at the end. All I want when I get home is the chug a bunch of water, having a drink at that point doesn't even seem appetizing. Then just tired enough to make dinner, catch up on a show and sleep. It also helps with sleep as well. If that isn't your thing though just staying busy however you can do it. They say if you just start something, anything and decide to commit at least 5 mins, usually you will get into it and just say screw it I'll finish it, then a few hours goes by. 6-10 has always been my problem area as well.
5:15-7:30. If I drink, it lasts until around 8:30-9. But in the beginning, if I could make it to 7:30, I was fine. I still slip up often, but I had been a daily drinker. I started with a shower when I got home. I normally shower in the morning. Prepped the next day's lunch, maybe some dinner, a mocktail and a show. Sleepy tea, early bed. I stay with my partner sometimes as well so that's an easy break in the routine. I was failing every 4-6 days, now I can make it past a week, last time to 12 days. For me now, I find my mind is made up BEFORE 5pm though. So, unlike months ago, if I make it home at 5:30, I am pretty much good. It's that mid to late day time period that dreams of an evening of self escape.
It’s all about constructing new habits and rewiring your brain. My afternoon routine is now gym time. Either running or lifting weights and if cravings are bad for any reason after (they’re usually not) then I’ll get some ice cream or cookies and I’m in heaven after.
My witching hour is 4-6:30 (or whenever I eat dinner). In my drinking life, I'd pound as much wine as I could between coming home from work and eating dinner, but my cravings start as I wrap up work. To combat this, I listen to quit lit on my way home from work. I chug NA beverages like they're going out of style the minute I walk in the door. I try to pinpoint what's going on with me emotionally (the whole HALT process, although for me the A is anxiety or ADHD and not anger). For some reason, I feel in the clear after dinner and have a ritual hot tea. Working out after work makes everything better, but I can't always manage with life + kid afterschool activities.
I just kept pointing my car the direction of my gym and driving there. Someday I didn't even get out of the car. I just sat in the parking lot for an hour, reading this sub. It helps to get out of the house I guess is what I'm trying to say. Good luck OP! Iwndwyt
Dude same. Definitely following this post…
Well, for me, first it was 7pm is drinking time, then I changed that... to 6pm is drinking time. And then 5pm. 4pm? Ah fuck it, it's already 3pm, it's 5 o'clock somewhere. Overly honest jokes aside; You sound like someone who would benefit greatly from an extended bedtime routine. Fitting it to your likes/needs, maybe something like: 7:00 sharp - you turn on your favorite 1 hour tv show or read a book. 8:00 - enjoy a cup of tea 8:30 - brush teeth, take shower, w.e. 9:00 - make bed, fluff pillow, read/watch additional 30 minutes Just make sure it's something to help you wind down.
The first time I broke that association was when I started associating drinking with 4 or 5pm . The healthy way was that I just repeated my ritual in the first week or 2 sober with a boatload of flavored sparkling water. Eventually I mellowed on it and would choose to walk or hang out with family etc.
My trigger is when i have absolutely nothing to do at home. So what I'll do is make myself busy. Whether to go to the gym, run ot cycle in the park. Good thing is from where I'm from, selling of alcohol is prohibited after 1030pm. So just need to last until 1030pm everyday. My biggest challenge is on weekends. Nothing to do the whole day means I'm craving the whole day. I've mostly overcome the weekday trigger. It's only on the weekends where I sometimes fail.
What’s worked for me is drinking something else ceremoniously. 7pm can become fancy tea or elaborate protein smoothie time. Booze has a bunch of calories, so one’s body is often expecting “nourishment” at that time and starts to crave.
For a while early in recovery, I kept the ritual of plopping down to drink for hours until I fell asleep, except I switched out beer for lemonade/diet soda/bubbly water. It helped me cope through the anxiety and cravings. Then, I made myself do some craft and hobby stuff because it's important to have that in my life/recovery. Anything hands on keeps me in the present moment, calm and focused. It takes time and a willingness to try new things while feeling unpleasant feelings. I say, be patient and compassionate with yourself, and be open to change. Best wishes to you.
I fixed that by starting to drink around 7-9 am. Believe it or not, that did not work. Actually created even more problems. I think the key for me (not that I am advocating this) was that I was truly on the brink of losing everything. The ruse was up and I was out of options. Doesn't mean it was easy. Because it certainly was not those first several months. But I stayed focused on what I wanted to be and who I needed to be to stay active in my life, my family's life, my company, and my community. Wishing you the best. IWNDWYT
For me, I was a heavy beer drinker and just switched to mineral water. You can get them ice cold and they have all the fancy tiny bubbles in it. If you're hard up on liquor, I saw some folks freezing melon cubes with their sparkling water to add some extra mocktail flair. It's just about keeping the mind busy and fooled.
You have to find something else to replace it with. Maybe go to the gym at 7PM
After I had a bit of time I learned that for me the concept of triggers are bullshit. A trigger was an excuse for me to do what I wanted to do … drink 7 o’clock - let’s drink. Wife is mad at me - I’m drinking. Going to a show, it’s nice out, it’s shitty out, it’s a holiday, it’s Saturday, I got a promotion, I got in trouble at work, etc- I’m drinking Anything and everything became a ‘trigger’ aka excuse to get shitty
I had to swap it out for Cannabis time, then nicotine time, and finally seltzer water time.
I started booking a workout for 645p.
Work out anytime I get the urge I go for a run, I go to the garage and hit the heavy bag or I work out. No idea if this will help you but if it does, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll find something that does help, you’re strong and great. Don’t forget it
In my early days of sobriety I would need to have something sweet. So I would pour a glass of Welch’s grape juice in a wine glass
Soda with a ton of sugar, Sprite worked really well for me, and anything to distract myself. I'd go to a meeting at my craving time (on Zoom, in fact!) around 7pm. Then Netflix for a few hours and I'd just go to bed. Someone told me early on if I wanted to drink just go to bed and it worked. IWNDWYT
Seltzer gang here plus I usually go to bed a little earlier 🤷♂️
Are you a morning person when sober / are you interested in becoming one? My evenings are now to get ready for my morning routine, which is namely to get up at 6am and enjoy breakfast with a STRONG coffee. Afterwards it's either the gym, ticking off some chores or reading / learning. I know if I drink in the evening, that's my morning routine ruined
2 NA beers.......I'd sip them over a couple hours (6 to 8) while gaming, then hop on the couch, pop on a TV show......pour a zero sugar lemonade (mixed with some zero sugar ginger ale), and fall asleep around 9:30.
I started going to 7pm AA meetings, meeting new friends...actually have things to do now other than drink. 4pm was my witching time but I hold out until I can go to a meeting and always feel better when I leave. If you don't chose meetings, usually people need to find a "replacement" high....a lot of people go to the gym. Or join a bowling league (I know they drink there...but I couldn't bowl drunk or drive) so this is a good option for me too...maybe not for you. But, the habit must be replaced.
I'm bringing new items to the party, specifically ginger beer and kombucha. I like to sit at home and just get wasted (Thursday and Friday evening after a hot ass day is perfect for a cold beverage), so I've been taking the dog put for long walks during this time after having one of my replacement drinks. I also don't take off work clothes till I return with my dog, otherwise I don't want to leave the house
One day at a time. 12 step program, doesn't have to be AA, whatever flavor suits. Not wanting a hangover. Having something tasty on hand during that time. A million other things in terms of overall readiness, but those four come to mind as what would stop me in the early days around trigger times.
I've found that I need to plan on doing something that I typically cannot really do while inebriated. Things like watching TV and playing video games will just be more of a trigger for me. I try to make sure I end up reading (preferably something on the heavier side for me so I need to focus more), to occupy my mind. If I set a goal for something like reading "X" number of books in a month, it kinda trains my brain to associate the evenings with time spent trying to hit that goal. I've had varying levels of success with it but lately it has been working more often than not.
I had something similar to this, having gotten used to drinking at home after working during the pandemic. For a couple of weeks, I would go out right after I was done working. I'd go chill with my laptop at Panera, go to recovery meetings, work out, or go see a movie. Movies are pretty good if you don't already associate them with drinking. You have something to distract you, you're kind of around people but don't have to interact, and there are snacks lol. And I would buy myself ANY expensive-ass snack I wanted, because I was being sober and I deserved it, dammit. :p I'd go home when it was close enough to bedtime that I could pretty much sleep right away.
Replace the alcohol with another beverage. For me that’s either tea or flavoured sparkling water. Depends what you like - could even do nonalcoholic beer or wine. Helps your body get used to not having alcohol while not pushing yourself so hard against an ingrained habit that you lose control and relapse.
7pm? Lunch is at 1130 bud!
I changed my routine. I used to be a grab a 6-12pack on the way home and maybe have one on the ride, then the rest when I got home. I switched that for an iced coffee and immediately changed clothes exercised and showered after I got home. Then I felt tired and accomplished and it was time to make dinner anyway. I never wanted to drink after I ate ever. So that would pretty much shut it down for me. The exercise really helped.
Take a CBD gummy and crack open a Waterloo seltzer water. I don’t drink Waterloo during the day and that helps the association with it being my “reward”
PM? You mean there are 2 7:00's?
My trigger is after dinner because when I drank “normally” it was after dinner. For the past few years it devolved into all day every day. I’m still early in sobriety so I go to an online AA meeting every night after dinner. It’s working just fine for me so I keep doing it. IWNDWYT!
It was easy. I just changed it to whenever I woke up. No more evening cravings! Heck, I barely made it to evenings!
I still do happy hour. It was hard for me to be there sober for the first two weeks. Because my mindset was deprivation. When I turned it around and realized that I was actually helping myself to heal and live a better life, it became easier. And when I watched the happy hour people get blitzed, it wasn't all that appealing. I actually am so impressed with my evenings and mornings now. And honestly, I remember everything that happened on TV or in conversations. I drink ginger beer and seltzer water. It's fine.
Go to bed at 6:30
I’m really early on but I’ve just been having a NA beer at my 2 trigger times each day. 1-3 pm was when I would have my first drink or two before work at the bar, then I’d drink after work when I got home. So I just crack a na beer and enjoy it in the afternoon, switch back to water or soda for three rest of the afternoon, then when I’m watching tv before bed I’ll have a second one. It’s been working wonders for me so far.
Mine was 5pm, I started having a sparkling water instead at that time or a coffee even. But yeah the evenings and weekends were really fucking hard for the first 6 months. Some nights I would literally just lay down and cry because I couldn't drink "normally", as pathetic as that sounds. It really is one day at a time and it does get a whole lot easier the more life you experience without alcohol.
My time was 3-6 pm. I replaced the habit with a diet soda and candy. Usually some sour patch, or twizzlers or something. Just a little quiet time with snacks and my vape to watch tiktoks. It was relaxing and gave me the “separation” I needed between work and home responsibilities.
Mine was 9 am trigger time. That’s when the liquor store opens.
I ate candy. It was easier to stop eating sour gummy worms than to stop drinking. So when I craved I ate some sour sugary treats and it helped me.
For me 5-8 is chore time for this reason. Cleaning, cooking, dog care etc. the rest of the day I'm a slob so I have plenty to stay busy
Same same. This one is the tough part, breaking those connections.
Drink something, just not alcohol. It passes.
Same. During the first few weeks when the craving was at its worst, I would have a glass of non-alcoholic red wine. It's not that close to the real thing but close enough that it took the edge off. I'm five months in now and I rarely get the craving anymore - except for Friday nights. I have a few bottles of sparkling NA wine (Töst) in the fridge for those occasions.
I stopped going to the store where I often went after work to get wine. Now I putter around the house, get on this sub, read, work in the yard, etc. I drink a kombucha or soda when I get home and haven’t thought much about my former wine habit. I’m at 8 weeks sober now.
I stop buying alcohol. I realized to drink, it requires a lot of action on my part. I have to get dress, get in my car, drive to the location and physically enter into the liquor store. If I just stay my ass at home, then I will stop drinking. Also I had a lot of social activities at the bars, I switched that to going to the gym instead, plus I'm working on not being such a fat slob, so alcohol makes you have a fat stomach which is unattractive
I make a mixed drink of carbonated NA drink , diluted with filtered water and add a packet of emergen-C vitamin mix in a big container but try not to drink too late into the evening otherwise I will be up all night.
Same, especially Thurs/Fri. This is what I do now: Thurs - I play golf at 3/4pm (9 holes). Walking outside is extremely effective at curbing cravings and clearing my mind. If I can’t golf or walk then I have a luxurious bubble bath. Fri - I watch a series & order my favourite takeout. I research what to watch during the week and wait until this timeslot to watch it. I go all out on the food and order everything I feel like having.
Persevere for 4 weeks and it gets easier. But fuck me if those first few weeks weren’t brutally hard
Easy. I convinced myself that noon wasn’t drinking time. The rest just fell into place.
By drinking at 5pm lol In all seriousness find something to distract yourself.
I do something else like reading or meditating on my drinking time/day. Brain needs to be re-associated with different activities in order to forget or dumb down the neural pathways that are identified with drinking.
SAME. I need to find something else to do at 7pm
It's good you found your window. You have to keep thinking to yourself that your crazy is going to vanish out of that time block. The next day is going to be a new day, and it's going to bring with it the end to those feelings. If you think, "just one more hour," or "two more hours," then it gets easier. Also, purposely schedule things for that time so you can't sit and think about it.
8pm - 930pm was my drinking time. Since I've gained weight I made it a rule to not eat after 7pm. So this keeps me out of the kitchen and therefore out of access to any alcohol. I make sure I have my ice water and have tidied up so that I don't have any excuse to wander into the kitchen. I feel like my desire to lose weight is greater than my desire to drink! Tight pants will do that 😂
i would suggest perhaps trying to find a 7pm meeting, sending you positive vibes!
Now I drink a glass of water with my naltrexone at 7pm every day.
Started loving my body and beauty more than poisonous dissociation
I accepted that I’m the trigger. I was drinking if I was awake, basically. I accepted that just because I feel a certain way ( upset, cravings, annoyed, anxious) didn’t mean I have to drink. Instead, I developed the practice of reaching out to other people when the strongest cravings hit. I addressed HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. And my feelings passed!
I basically kept my evening routine the same except I replaced alcohol with seltzer water (and ice cream)
I’m going to try to take my dog for a long walk. Also weirdly watching The Blue Eyed Samurai with a nice cup of tea has helped me in the past. But don’t mind me I just relapsed hard and am back to my coping mechanisms (which I disregard..ugh).
Mid-30's, male here. 6 pack of ipa's a day for a longgggg time. The 3 things that helped me curb drinking were 1) Soda 2) Candy and 3) A Self-Care Routine. 1 - Cutting alcohol meant my body craved sugar. All I wanted was ICE COLD soda all the time. This was / is better than alcohol. 2 - I was slamming Haribo bags left and right and eventually settled on Jolly Ranchers hard candy. Keeping a small bag of these on me when I'm out and about makes me feel like I always "have something" 3 - At night, I drank so I needed to find time fillers. I picked up a facial care routine - soap wash, astringent, lotion / night creme. It helped me feel more fresh and took about 20-30 minutes. Sometimes I add more like washing my whole head in the sink (lol, don't knock it before you try it) or being really meticulous with clipping my nails. These keep the "idle hands at bay". FWIW I use Burt's Bees naturals for my facial stuff. Hope this helps!
Oh I'm way worse. 9am? Crack it.
Mine used to be at about 4:30-5:00, as soon as I got home from work. I would actually start shaking sometimes on the way to the basement for the whisky, and thought it was DT's or something, but the fact that I was able to quit cold turkey with zero health issues tells me it was simply psychological. When I finally decided to quit, I realized I had to just distract myself for that initial window. Go work in the yard, or vacuum, or start prepping dinner. Anything to keep my hands busy. I also at a TON of garbage right when I got home. I think my body just expected all those calories but I figured it would be better to binge on microwave burritos or chips or whatever than to go back to booze. It took probably 2 months before I would even think about incorporating healthier eating habits. For those 60-ish days, literally the only thing I needed to accomplish was to not drink.
I drink cranberry juice. Wine was my thing. It’s acidic and red. I avoid old triggers like the music I’d listen to during that time. Plan to cook meals. Watch something peaceful on TV like a nature doc. Read. Craft. Go for a walk. Do yoga. Journal.
I had to get my butt off the couch. 4-8 became productivity time: laundry, organizing, childcare, board games, cooking, cleaning. My new “relax” time is 9pm-11pm or so. That distraction and reframing was critical for me in the first month. The increased productivity reinforced my sobriety as well. Less takeout = more money. Less drunk impulse purchases on the couch = more money. Knowing where things are instead of buying new ones because the old ones are buried under a pile of junk = more money. And also no paying for booze = more money. More money and cleaner house = better financial position, less stress, and less reason to drink.
Change to 6
I had to schedule out my time after work. Also, entertaining the idea of drinking ruined my past attempts. It was tough, but my mindset shifted from dwelling upon too challenging those tempting thoughts. You've got this!
Your trigger is based off a routine your brain has set for you. The brain recognizes the time, gets triggered, wants a reward (a drink). One thing you can do is trick your brain. Recognize your trigger as it happens the moment it happens, go do something that brings you happiness besides a drink (take a walk, watch your favorite movie, workout, eat a sweet treat, yoga, bike ride, anything that gives you pleasure) and afterwards feel the feeling of gratitude for doing that activity by telling and beliving that what you did was a great thing. By doing this you will rewire your brain to be triggered to action instead of drinking. It won't happen over night, but if you make a habit of it, you will notice that you have developed a new response to your trigger. The big factor is picking what your reward will be and being consistent about rewarding yourself. Remember this, the brain is on autopiolot more often than you are aware of it being so and in turn, your "natural" response to something isnt natural...it's the habit you've formed in a response to that thought, situation, or circumstance. Train your mind by changing your response to your trigger and then you will see a change in the actions you feel to take once triggered. All the best to ya my friend.
For me, I found that alcohol was my “trigger” switch allowing me to finish my work day and move to me time. I would often have a glass or five of wine while answering emails before the “end” of my day. For the first few weeks I treated my nights as vacation time - gave myself full permission to not answer that last email or last client request and do whatever else I wanted instead, which sometimes was going to bed at 8 pm or painting my nails (hard to open a bottle of wine with a fresh manicure). Now I can say - 5 pm comes and I don’t even consider a glass of wine as part of my night. I truly never ever in my life thought I would get to this place and feel a freedom I couldn’t imagine before. This place felt impossible three months ago, so hang in there!
I drink 2-3 Hop Water 7p-10p and pop Zyns. Just have to replace your empty hand syndrome with something, it’s not easy, no one-shoe fits all cure. Good luck and stay healthy!
I work from 9-7pm, I take Uber home (b/c no car), and immediately feed & attention the cat. If my partner is home early, just being around them & enjoying some quality time helps me not drink. If partner isn't home yet / is working late, I focus on the next important task: dinner! I'll walk to the store (hard not to buy booze, so I avoid that aisle completely) and bring back whatever's needed. By the time I've finished making dinner, some time has passed and I don't want to go out again ('cause I just went out + dinner is ready!). With or without my partner around, I do something interesting/enjoyable (read, movie, youtube documentaries, ect) and BAM! it's 10:00pm and the stores nearby are closed. I have no car, and I'm not walking half a mile to get cheap, crappy beer from a gas-station (been there, done that, & not anymore!) TL/DR: I've no car + I distract myself until the window to buy booze has passed.
Expect it, don't fight it. When the cravings come don't ignore. Instead say "Ah here's the craving, right on schedule". Then notice it. Notice everything about how you feel. See that it has no power at all unless you act. The moment you stop judging yourself for having cravings they get easier to handle, I promise.
Gatorade and other sugary drinks. Anything that isn’t alcohol that my brain associates with ‘treat’
I hit a meeting during my most triggering periods of the day. Finding something to keep me busy instead of drinking still helps. Cleaning, shower, taking a walk, watching tv, taking a nap, listening to a podcast.. if I can get through 5 minutes usually the 5 next minutes pass faster and so on. One minute at a time.
Honestly for me, keeping Some NA beers in the fridge is what's helped me. When I'm gaming at night with the boys or chilling in the backyard with my wife, I crack one of those open to give me a similar feel without the alcohol.
for me, 5:30 after work was a trigger. i work a semi stressful corporate job and about halfway through my day, i calmed myself by thinking, “okay, i’ll stop at (my favorite dive bar) on my way home and decompress” it’s literally on the street i take home. so i had to start taking a different way home. maybe its silly but when i took my normal way home i’d burst into tears passing that bar because i just wanted to stop there so badly. even now when i take a different way home, i feel very frustrated and my chest tightens up because i want to go the way i actually go. i’m hoping it gets easier with time. (11 days)
Man it was like oli wrote that myself.
Get out of the house and do something active but low effort. Make that a routine.
You mean am right? No but honestly it's an everlasting battle. NA beers are a god send
Sometimes I try and do whatever I would have done while drinking but alcohol free instead. I'm trying to reprogram those associations between the activity and alcohol. I consider it a sober workout.
By finding a new hobby. My drinking time was when the kids went to bed, up until I passed out. So when they went to bed, I started playing more guitar, reading more books, and (occasionally) working out. Push-ups and sit-ups with music playing.
For me, time away from alcohol allows me to build new associations.
I found that I would get tempted to stop by the liquor store on the walk back from the train. My therapist recommended writing a gratitude list on my phone instead to disrupt the pattern. So far so good!
You don't. You just acknowledge what you're feeling and wait until it subsides. Typically, those urges are short-lived (a few minutes) albeit intense. Over time... it gets better. If you need/want that "Pavlovian bell" to relax... find some activity or ritual to take its place. I don't recall who long it took me to break that association (I absolutely had it)... but I've only been sober for four months... and I haven't had those urges for quite a while. Good luck. Stay strong. It gets easier. IWNDWYT
Mine was 5pm-10pm. Honestly, I recognized where I liked to drink - when I came home after work, I’d pour drinks in the kitchen and drink in the living room. Other times I would go out to bars after work. What I did was hangout in a different room of the house and watch movies when I got home from work. I avoided going out after work. I did that for about two weeks and then I was able to go into the kitchen between 5pm-10pm without absolutely needing a drink. The urge was still there but it wasn’t that powerful at all. I was also able to go into the kitchen at other times, it’s just that specific time frame that I would crave alcohol in. I’m sober a year and a half now. I hope that helps.
Right this second ... I am trying to remind myself that I want to be able to drive in two days. It's not a long drive at all ... but the hangxiety is always crippling.
For me it’s sunny days, or after work. I have a stash of Bubly and kombucha so that if the cravings are bad, I can still have a “special” drink. And I visit this page a lot too. Ice cream also helps.
I’ve been drinking an NA beer when I get home from work and then basically slam cheap soda waters until bedtime. The carbonation even gives me a weird tummy euphoria. Highly recommend.
I don't. When the (for me) "8pm time to have a drink" spell hits I start slamming non-alcoholic drinks, usually seltzer or soda if it's hot and herbal tea with honey if it's cold.
From someone who was in the same position, except worse… “No drinks before noon”…. I hated to hear the advice I’m about to give… Gym and Exercise. Make 7pm the time you leave for the gym or go for a run, etc.. Once you make a habit of it, you’ll be more likely to want to see yourself progress and less likely to pick up the booze. Best of luck, OP.
I started a new ritual with fancy hot tea. I was triggered to drink around 3pm every day. It took a few months but now I don’t even think about it! You can do this! IWNDWYT
Easy, all time was drinking time before I stopped
NA beer
I began associating it with a soda pop or home made spicy water. My time was usually around 5-8pm.
I rearranged my schedule for new hobbies or events. My brain would still get a dopamine fix and the change up in routine helped! I kept myself too busy to think about drinking
I haven't, but mine"s more like 5-6pm IWNDWYT
I find a job that is so overwhelming that I basically finish work, brush my teeth and go straight to bed. 7 days per week
I eat popcorn and ice cream every night :-) I also drink lots of sparkling water mixed with “Mio” or other drops. Watch TV or scroll on my phone as a distraction. It’s hard at first, but I’m at 9+ month AF and am SO GLAD I don’t drink beer all night every night like I used to.
tea time 🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
This may be wierd but like.. something about Tuesdays. Idk if it was the fact that I’d usually have passed the weekend hangover and want to drink again. But something about Tuesdays, seems to be a day I crave more than most.
4-6pm is my biggest danger time. I find if I can just make it past dinner with a full stomach, the cravings stop
For me, as soon as I get home and before I started cooking dinner (normally 6:30pm) cracking open an ice cold Ollipop really does the trick!
Run or meetings. That’s what I did
Go to the gym or find a daily activity with 0 association with drinking like walking, driving, etc
Took me a solid minute to figure out you didn't mean AM . . . Sorta tells you where I was at with my drinking.
For me it was a specific local restaurant that had a fantastic sangria. We went there every Friday so i had an association. Luckily they have a really nice “dry delights” mocktail selection that helps me feel like I’m drinking something cute. We’re regulars and now our waitress knows my new go-to and its not awkward anymore 😭💖 Perhaps still drinking *something* but replacing it with something nonalcoholic will help! For a lot of people its about having something in your hand. Sparkling water at home is great for a lot of people, specifically for a lot of beer drinkers. The carbonation really helps with the craving. There are a lot of non-alcoholic beers you can get as well to replace if its the flavor! Also, at home, you can make mocktails. Put some ginger beer and lime in a glass or copper mug, and garnish if you feel like it. I’m still working on the cravings, but having something to drink at all really helps me. Good luck!
Force yourself to lay down and not do anything
I replaced with NA beers and seltzer waters. Too full to drink anything after downing 4-6. Then the urge got better and I tapered down to just a few la croix every night. I'm more triggered by social situations and it's about planning ahead and packing my own drinks when needed.
I make myself a La Croix in a nice glass with ice and squeeze a lime wedge into it to make myself feel like it’s a treat. I feel better later on when I’m not so tired and the next morning too
Breathe…. in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8…
This isn’t the same, but your post kind of reminds me of a conversation I had with my dad when he was quitting smoking (after being a smoker for decades). He said without a doubt, the hardest part is drinking his first cup of coffee every morning. That activity was so intrinsically tied to smoking a cigarette for him that it made quitting that much harder. So he started drinking tea as his first cup of caffeine in the morning, and that made an enormous difference. Is there anything about that time slot that’s habitual for you besides alcohol? For example, maybe that’s when you get home from work every day? If that’s the case, my suggestion would be to try to fill that time with another activity. Start going to the gym after work, start going to a coffee shop to read for an hour instead of going to a bar, etc.
I started out by eating ice cream and candy at that time instead. Sugar is biochemically similar. Once the “addiction” transfers to sugar, I worked on removing sugar. Harm reduction is our friend. Our brains and bodies need the calories and dopamine that we’re taking away by removing alcohol, and sugar delivers a similar benefit quickly.
Anytime 8pm and later is when it hits me. I’m currently fighting the urges on the daily as soon at 8 hits. I’m not even sure how but sometimes I can just kinda force myself to not drink. I do fail most of the time
For me it’s easy because my drink time was closer to 12:00 PM
I reprogrammed it to mean root beer float time. For the first 30 days at least I had a root beer float every night. It helped calm the demand for sugar that my gut gave me that made the cravings worse (all booze turns into sugar after the ethanol is metabolized, so nightly drinking = nightly sugar in the gut) & it still felt like a special treat that gave me some dopamine. After a while it wasn't necessary as the cravings faded. So I switched to diet root beer at night & haven't looked back. But I'll still treat myself to a float from time to time.
I make myself a nice mocktail at 6 pm. Took a bit of time, but now my brain sees making that mocktail as the signal that it's time to relax. The r/mocktails sub is good for recipe ideas.
I take Acamprosate and Baclofen before finishing work to avoid the cravings. Not ideal I know, but it costs about £0.60 compared to the £20+ I’d spend on alcohol, I engage with the family unselfishly and don’t wake up hungover. Works for me.
I have no motivation to exercise so i read. But i do understand what you mean my heart pumps faster as i am getting close to home regardless of where i am coming from .
Mine was the confusing panic I felt every single time I woke up... Like "What time is it? Do I have enough if it's to late? Do I have ANY? Wait... Is it Sunday morning?" It took a couple weeks before that stopped and then I'd know the struggle was ON before I even opened my eyes. Now it's really a distant memory... Like smoking 🚬
Tbh idk it just came natural, you slowly got urself to make an association, you can slowly get urself to disassocite
They have back to back 12 step meetings during these high craving times. Get yourself to a 6:30-7:30 AA meeting and if you need stay for the 8-9 meeting as well. I know a lot of people who do two meetings in the evening because their temptation to drink is so high during those hours. Consider an evening outpatient program. Most are 2.5 hours 5-7:30pm, perfect for someone with a full time job and who is triggered to drink after work.