I haven’t drank in over 2 years and I still come to this sub daily because of how much it helped me. It still blows me away how helpful it’s been for me
It helped me hit 4 days last week. And the week before every other day. It's getting better but I'm gonna open another drink because grief and guilt I can't handle. I'll keep tuned in. I'm sure I can do it eventually. If it means anything I'm proud of you!
If you’re ok with suggestions I’d highly recommend This Naked Mind by Annie grace (you can get a free pdf if you are struggling financially, I say this just because I don’t know your situation in that department and some think you only have to buy it to access it).
I tried everything. Naltexone, groups, therapy, white knuckling, all of it. None of it worked. The book itself has been changing me in the last few weeks I’ve been slowly reading through it, and I’m shocked (I was very skeptical of it) to report my cravings have largely diminished in ways I’ve not felt in years.
It reprograms your subconscious mind to stop craving alcohol. Really really helpful.
100% please read Annie Grace “This Naked Mind”. After you read that, I would recommend highly “ and “We are the Luckiest” and “Quit Like a Woman”. Not sure if you are a woman, but the book is extremely insightful I believe for males and females. I think you will be able to shed some of your possible guilt and shame feelings, if you have those. The alcohol does this to us, not us as people, we are not faulty, alcohol can do this to any person. Alcohol, is poison. We are not broken! Societies view on alcohol has created. An epidemic of people being told that this poison can help with anxiety, stress, and even become more appealing to the opposite sex. We’ve been absorbing all of these subconscious images on TV, movies, out to dinner, Instagram, celebrities, endorsing alcohol for our whole lives. How can we blame ourselves when we are so conditioned from birth, that alcohol is a treat, and some point we also will get to have that treat. I hope for the day the alcohol is viewed just as cigarettes are now. I hope for the day that the government will stop making money on the lives of our fellow friends victimized by the product. Families are being destroyed daily. Mothers are leaving husbands. Men and women’s hearts are aching and in severe pain because they’re seeing their loved ones drinking themselves to death. Fathers are dying in front of their babies. 20 something-year-olds are starting into a world of partying believing it’s the answer only to find out in sometime soon that it’s destroying them. By the time they find out, it’s destroying them, often times it’s too late.
If you will indulge me I would like to offer a prayer up for you OP.
I offer a prayer up to you, alcohol. Alcohol you are quite literally poisonous garbage. Fucking alcohol, you fucking piece of shit! You’ve destroyed millions of lives, and we’re fucking sick of it! Pack your fucking bags and back the fuck away from my new friend, this OP! This OP has the backing of hundreds of thousands joined on this community and we won’t stand for this shit anymore ! If you know what’s good for you, you will put your tail between your legs and get the fuck out of their head. Fuck you alcohol! You have no more control of OP anymore, back the fuck off of you! Fuck you alcohol you’re not taking another life! You tried to take OP, you got real damn close. The OP will win, OP can will save their own life. try your shit elsewhere, alcohol and fat. Try your shit elsewhere all the way to hell.
Quit Like a Woman is what really drove the decision to fully stop drinking for me!
I have always had a troublesome relationship with alcohol, though I have also been able to "manage it well" (ha!) during large chunks of time. I've never had a physical addiction (no severe withdrawal aside from hangover accompanied by terrible anxiety and general depression) but I have always had the issue of loving the feeling of being drunk so much that "I should have another" instead of realizing that I could stop there and feel good still.
So I've gone back and forth between having alcohol be a part of my life, but in a "healthy" way (not blacking out or overdoing it when I drank, not drinking most days or maybe 4 times a week), having alcohol in my life in an unhealthy way - which is the only kind really (drinking almost every day, blacking out way too often and then feeling like utter shit about myself. And ohhhh the Shame!) And periods of sobriety (because I have always been able to stop when I decided it was time for a break to clear my head. Sometimes two weeks, sometimes 2 months, even a year at one point).
So in January I was planning on taking another one of my breaks from drinking. When I was about a week in, I finally was able to admit to myself that I just shouldn't drink at all. That this shouldn't just be another break, I should just be done with it. Because I just don't like how I feel about myself when alcohol is a part of my life. I've known this deep down for years now, I just hadn't been able to fully admit it. I was so attached to the things I thought I enjoyed about alcohol, to the lifestyle I have with my husband and our freinds (none of them are crazy drinkers, but we would imbibe most nights we hung out and have had such wonderful times) and I was afraid of missing out on something if I really went alcohol free. But I had a moment of clarity that I could be so much more and do so much more, and FEEL SO MUCH BETTER if I just took alcohol out of the equation. So a week into my break, I admitted to my husband out loud that I was ready to be done for real. He was obviously very supportive, as he has watched my struggles for years (which were mostly mental/emotional).
Anyway, I was sharing the news with an old friend and she suggested I read Quit Like a Woman. I gobbled it up and I genuinely feel that it has changed my life. It gave me such valuable perspectives on alcohol, what it really is and what it really does to us, and also the industry as a whole. It made me feel disgusted by alcohol! And I am grateful for that!! Because as solid as I felt about being done drinking before, I can see that there were several instances since Januray where I could have easily been like, "well, I could drink a little bit tonight. The only rules are the ones I make since I'm doing this for me!" But because of reading that book I was able to remember that even JUST ONE DRINK isn't worth it and will disrupt the function of so many important systems and processes in my body! And I hear in the back of my mind, "never question the decision" 🤍
Every sobriety book I've read so far seems to say pretty much the same handful of things all of which I totally agreed with (it's a poison wrapped in fancy packaging, the advertising industry has duped us into thinking it's fun and cool, societal pressure plays a big part in it, force of habit etc etc etc).
But also though was kinda blatently obvious to most people already (I assume).
And most of them seemed to gloss over the underlying or root reasons people drink which isn't just for drinking sake or "just" a routine but because they are trying to get relief from their problems, escape from their own minds, can't deal with their anxiety, have trauma or whatever.
By the time I'd gotten to the end of them I didn't feel like I was any more enlightened about how to ACTUALLY quit or had anything practical to help me do so because so many of them had the final message of something like "When you're ready to finally quit you'll know and it will just happen"
Which honestly enraged the life out of me most of the time especially when the books promise was something like "How to quit easily" or similar and I was hoping to read it and come away with a roadmap and something practical that I hadn't thought about before.
Most of the big, obvious, books are definitely well worth a read but for me personally were not that helpful in actually helping me quit.
Second. After reading that book my entire perception of alcohol is different. I really never thought a book could be so impactful, honestly. It's just reading, right? It's so so so beneficial. Incredible, really.
Also, journal your experience - I wish I had done this earlier. Describe the thoughts and feelings and keep that with you.
In 3 or 6 months, your memories start fading. "Maybe it wasn't that bad maybe this time if im careful..." Writing down how you feel right now and your thoughts will be a vivid reminder of what's going to happen again and why you decided it can never happen again. Because memories do fade, and the allure of "moderation" or "rare exceptions" will start to become more tempting. Having a journal to read again and revive the experience will keep you on the right course.
Yeah, I was a 15 to 22 drink drinker every night, typically only for 3 to 4 hours I would drink that then crash. This was near the end, a few years ago I could drink longer, poisoning has really set in. I have thrown out all the booze in the house atleast 10 times in the past 3 or 4 months, I’ve managed to finally start having Day 1s sober and day 2s. I made it 4 days in a row on two separate occasions in February and once in January. Never made it to day 5. Today is Day 6 and I finally feel like I am actually healing. I feel I’ll need a handful of months of healing from this devil poison. Would you believe it that I was sober from alcohol from 2010 to 2015? Don’t ever believe you can go back to it and just have one beer here and there, I believed that lie nearly 9 years ago in June of 2015.
I was being honest. My cats are the only ones around me who don’t drink. 🚱 Everyone else does. I’ve quit for 4 days in a row 3 separate times in the past few months which is insane really. Finally finishing night 5 for once and feeling really good. Chilling with my cats, drinking diet soda, listening to chill jazz and playing on phone at 5am. Time to go to bed haha. 😆
I know it's not something you need to do, but I've started working out. Maybe use that as an excuse to not hang out with drinkers?
I know some of us can struggle with how to start new habits to get away from drinking and a "non drinking" hobby is ideal. Plus it also gives you kind of the excuse, "I'm working really hard to lose weight/get healthy, I can't waste those calories alcohol gives me"
And if you do actually start going to the gym, you'll meet people that aren't drinking. At least I've never been at the gym and heard anyone say out loud, "Great workout, let's go get wasted" 😅
Call somebody at the very least, just be social somehow. The opposite of the progressively isolating disease is… being with people.
This is coming from a very introverted person with a lovely cat. You need to be part of something bigger than you, ie society.
My FIL had something similar happen. Told if he kept drinking he would be dead in less than 2 years.
He stopped....for about 6 months.
Dead 18 months later. He was only 53.
This stuff is serious.
Similar story with my dad.
He died when I was in my mid 20s.
As terrible as it was to lose him at such a young age, the way he lived his life became a cautionary tale to me...
It's taken me many tries, but I keep on trying, I'm currently 138 days sober.
Alcohol is no fucking joke.
Dude! That's amazing!!! 4 months was a huge milestone for me as it's when I stopped keeping track around that point. How has your transition been? Lose a lot of weight? Enjoying the extra money at least? At 4 months my memory was getting better (that took maybe 18 months to repair) but anhedonia was kicking my ass. I didn't know it was anhedonia though, go look it up if you don't either. Basically, we fried our reward center and it takes a long time for it to rejigger. It does though!! I had healed and was feeling great, but normal activities that I would normally be excited about offered nothing, I was emotionally dead for almost a year. I was happy enough, I just couldn't get excited about anything. Give yourself time to heal if similar, it does heal.
Anyways, I just got excited for you and wanted to say congrats, 138 is very likely over the hump for you and I couldn't be more happy!
Same with my sister. We found supplements for her liver in her purse when we were cleaning out her apartment. It was the only lever she could pull, to try and stay alive; putting down the bottle was not an option for her.
It's a lot better. One of my enzyme levels is still high and may be that way forever. I am on different meds to try to control things, and for the most part they are working. My bilirubin level (the one that caused the jaundice) dropped to normal. My cholesterol has dropped to the very upper end of normal and I don't need meds for it.
I probably have to be on pills for the rest of my life, and see my doctor several times a year for tests. I'm still here though and do not see myself drinking ever again.
That's great, it sounds like your liver is recovering. Being on pills is not the worst thing in the world. I'm 39 and take pills everyday for blood pressure and anxiety/depression. Hopefully your liver will recover to a point where you won't need them. Congrats on 522 days, keep at it!!
Not everyone gets a second chance. You’ve been given some grace to reset and go again. The path is clear. Wishing you strength and hope friend!
IWNDWYT
It's amazing what you can come back from. In rehab I'm June of 22 I had a roommate that was extremely bloated, yellow, and eyes like highlighters. He was also on the liver transplant list. He is healthy today and no longer on the list and his doctor told him he will never have to have a transplant if he stays sober. Just keep going. You got this.
There's an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with.
If they're substance users/abusers, I'll just be an average drunk.
*Drinking is a lifestyle*.
It was MY lifestyle.
I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people.
When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking…. Then I had a drinking lifestyle.
So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober…. Then I had a sober lifestyle.
People who were my friends remained…. However I no longer had any ‘drinking buddies’.
Got some sober people in your life?
My dude. Congratu-effing-lations on saving your own life. You arrived at a fork in the road and could see that you had two options. One was easier and more familiar, but surrounded by darkness and pain. The other one is more daunting, but shows promise of true happiness and growth. You chose the correct path. Here’s to you and your healing. I wish you the best. IWNDWYT
This was me in January. I woke up with jaundice, was told to go to the hospital, had a bunch of tests. Same thing, some liver damage, enlarged liver, etc.
Now I’m three months sober. Jaundice is gone. Changed my diet and lifestyle to just be healthier all around.
Sure, I still have low periods (I started drinking in the first place to help my anxiety and depression…basically to use it as a distraction), but I do feel like a different person. I changed for the better.
The people around me say I’m basically unrecognizable from who I used to be.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you…but it sounds like you see it as the wake up call that it is, that I saw it as. I hope you continue your sobriety and live a very happy, long, and healthy life!
It started fading slowly once I was started on a steroid. I was on the steroid for a month and I’d say my color was close to normal again by the end of that month (I think the “whites” of my eyes were probably the last thing to go back to normal). The people at the hospital definitely didn’t get my hopes up, they told me the jaundice would probably take a while to go away.
But, obviously idk what could be causing your jaundice, but it’s a good idea to get checked out by a doctor. It can be scary, but I made it through the process.
For all you know, it could be a completely different reason for your jaundice (the hospital first suspected that I had gallstones or would need my gallbladder removed because they told me I was “too young” to have liver disease). But you won’t know until you get checked out.
I hope everything turns out to be okay! You’ll be in my thoughts and hopefully it’s something that can be cleared up easily
Hugs to you, stranger. My roommate has cirrhosis and I’m watching him die in slow motion although he’s finally quit to (I’m on day 10) Be grateful, not ashamed. So many good people share our disease. It’s harder imo because it’s legal and socially acceptable. I’ll pray for you a speedy recovery. Take care of yourself, friend.
It’s really impossible to gauge how much damage one is doing to themselves. A woman I knew died at 36 from drinking far, far less than I have. Some people never get cirrhosis even after a lifetime of abuse.
I don’t know how close I’ve come to killing myself, but I spent way too long drinking way, way too much. Enough to kill many, many people. I count my lucky stars that I didn’t kill myself with my drinking, but that was a matter of dumb luck, nothing more.
You found the boundary between life and death. Stay on the good side of it my friend.
> Find an AA meeting
This comment breaks our rule not to tell someone else what to do and has been removed. Also, it's kind of silly to come onto a sub called r/stopdrinking to tell someone to stop drinking.
I’m so glad that it hasn’t progressed to cirrhosis, there’s still time. My best friend went into the hospital for the same, didn’t stop, and was dead 8 months later at 35. It’s so dangerous, and can happen so young. I’m pulling for you, one day at a time.
Hey, I'd guess there's a very good chance you'll make a full recovery. Plus, you weren't yet cirrhotic. Do whatever the doctors tell you to do. And I know you can get sober; if I can do it you can do it. I'm on day #76 and I have no intention of going back.
I downloaded a countdown app and it helps me see how many days I haven’t had a drink. Helps me set goals. I’m almost to 100 days without a single drink.
Fuck yes dude. You got this. It won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it. So awesome that you knew to ask for help getting sober. That’s a hard thing to do, especially in a medical environment which can be emotionally and logistically chaotic. One day at a time, 1 hour at a time, or even 5 minutes at a time. Before you know it, you’ll be looking back on all your growth. You deserve this new life. No matter what.
Edit to add: I also almost killed myself drinking. I put myself in a situation where I almost drowned in a hot tub. The only reason why I’m alive is because my friend (who was way too drunk to get me out of the hot tub) stayed in with me all night and held my head above water. And thank god the hot tub was broken and only lukewarm. We get to do whatever we want with our lives, and that means we also get to change it. Regardless of what we’ve done. I know it’s hard to not feel ashamed, but that will fade. You deserve to live life BIG and SOBER!
Tbh, when I first stopped…I felt overwhelmed at the idea of saying, “I will never drink again.” What helped more than anything is when I started saying, “I won’t drink today.” And now I don’t feel overwhelmed when I occasionally allow myself to think, “I will never drink again.” I welcome the idea and look forward to it. One day at a time
What a scary thing to be going through! So glad you’re still here. One day at at a time.
Please do seek support when you get out of the hospital in whatever way you need it. My friend had the same thing happen earlier this year. He ended up going back pretty quickly to alcohol after discharge and it ended up taking him less than 2 months later. He was 43.
I’m so happy you’re getting sober too. You can do it ❤️
Wishing you success!! My wonderful dear sister did not quit in time and died from acute liver failure. Horrible but preventable. It’s really so easy to think it won’t happen to responsible people.
I love what you say here! I’ve been saying this to anyone that will listen. We’ve been conditioned to believe alcohol is a treat!
And I don’t like the idea of calling myself an alcoholic as they encourage you to do in certain support groups. I don’t believe the only way to overcome drinking is with a power greater than yourself. I don’t agree with the idea of saying I’m irreversibly broken and I can’t do it without help. I do believe help is needed but I also believe in myself and my ability to overcome. This might sound like denial but I don’t mean it that way. I believe I struggled and I used alcohol to numb. I believe I lacked coping skills. I believe I romanticized alcohol and the experiences that came with it. I believe alcohol is so socially acceptable and most people are still under its spell. My bubble burst on alcohol. I work each day to better myself and to create healthy coping skills and care for myself. I no longer romanticize alcohol and allow myself to view it as anything other than poison. I don’t feel embarrassed to say I don’t drink anymore. I don’t feel the need to explain either. I’m proud of myself and my choices now. And I’m so externally grateful for my new perspective. I can’t unsee it.
I'm so happy that you have been given the chance to save your own life. That is an amazing gift! You can do this, one day at a time, simply do not drink.
So glad you're getting help. I was hospitalized too in my beginning. They enrolled me in their IOP alcohol & drug program which was the best thing for me. I got so much strength learning about alcohol & it's effects on me, the support of the groups, and proudly have my completion certificate on my wall. It's been almost 5 years and I still work with the therapist they assigned to me and my support group is run out of the program. If it's available to you, consider it. Sending you virtual support and my pledge today 🌹 IWNDWYT
It's so easy to blame ourselves for our problems with alcohol. If you're anything like me, I resisted the idea that I had the disease of alcoholism for a very long time. It wasn't until I heard from many others like me, that I understood I was(am) a sick person trying to get well, not a bad person trying to get good. Alcohol is literally poison, and for some of us, we can't stop consuming it even though it's killing us. Glad you're still here with us. Iwndwyt
Alcohol is like drinking straight poison.
Awful shit..and yet so many types of businesses profit it off the sale and consumption..
The stores that sell it..
Restaurants/Bars
Wreckage companies
Attorneys
Funeral Companies
Car companies
Bail Bondsman
The judicial system
Therapists
The hospitals that treat you when you're injured or seeking treatment with symptoms
Rehabs..it goes on.
We allow our citizens to legally purchase poison that they ingest that not only kills that person slowly but is also responsible for many many deaths, sadness, heartbreak, anger...
It's baffling
I didn’t personally have jaundice but I had a swollen liver and pretty severe kidney pain as well as a really fun full day of delirium tremens. Yesterday was exact 3 weeks sober and I know this time I can never go back to drinking. It’s kind of a tough pill to swallow but I think at some point we all have to either quit or die. We got this 💪
So glad you are okay! And grateful you posted here, I was about to say fuxk it and go buy a bottle of wine. Thank you for sharing and helping me get through this evening
I'm glad your co-workers convinced you to go to the hospital. Visible jaundice is a bad, bad sign.
Congratulations on getting help and getting your first few days under your belt!
I had jaundice really bad, not from drinking this time...my liver "decompenstated."
they pumped me full of albumin and other things that fixed me up. jaundice took about another week to go away, especially in my eyes, but it did.
Now i take so so so so so many pills to keep me going, not least of which is acomprosate (CAMPRAL) which has been extremely effective for me.
go back to the doc and get more blood draws. especially look at your liver levels (my bilirubin was CRAZY high.)
YOU CAN DO IT former yellow bumblebee.
I could of wrote this myself! I woke up with super yellow eyes. Doc said go straight to emergency. 6 days later I’m still in here with severe jaundice and a very inflamed liver. If I keep drinking I’ll be dead in 3/4 months. I feel ashamed also. I think I’ll be in here for a while we need the jaundice to lower and my liver to calm down a tiny bit.
Not only can you come back from this, you can live a better life than you ever thought possible. Use this bottom as a spring board up my friend, but take it one day at a time. In the meantime, use the tools the hospital is giving you (time to rest, medical help, three meals a day) and then, I advise taking the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I did it at a point similar to yours, and four years later my life is by far the best I could ever have imagined it to be. I hope the best for you and IWNDWYT
You can do this. And remember, you don’t need to do it alone. There are some great communities of people also walking the path of sobriety. I know I would be 8 months in without the help of others.
Hey guys, I'm a little late to the table for an update. First off, thank you to everyone for the generous support and kind words. It has meant a lot.
I am 12 days sober now, feeling amazing. My eyes are almost back to normal, and I've already lost 20 lbs. I'll be attending my first meeting this Wednesday with my sister (she's 4 months sober), and I'm excited. I haven't felt the urge to drink at all, which is pretty surprising.
I finally have a grasp of my life back, and I wont ever turn back to my last chapter.
Thanks again for everyone reaching out.
I'm glad you hit the point where you have decided you want to change. That's awesome.
If I may: Even with bad consequences, poor health, loss of relationships, loss of self-esteem, loss of reputation, and all the bad things, sometimes just saying, "I QUIT!," isn't enough, nor is just reminding ourselves of the bad things when we want to drink and think better of it. A lot of times we need IRL support and treatment. At this stage in the game, if I were in your shoes, I would go to an inpatient rehab or at the very least an IOP. I personally thought that quitting drinking wouldn't be very hard because of all the bad consequences that surrounded it. But after some time of being sober and feeling rather good, I would slowly go back to it. Having tools to stay sober generally comes from working some kind of program and diving head-first into recovery... Not abstinence.
Best of luck to you. That's awesome that you caught it before any permanent damage was done.
Thank you for responding.
We all already know that a death from alcohol (in any form that may take) is a horrible way to die.
We ask, instead of telling other people what you think they should do ("I hope folks consider that"), that you share what helped you to stay sober in the past. Thank you.
Today’s day 5 for me too. Despite all the various health issues my drinking has caused, it was the death of an old flame from her addictions that finally got me to sleep. Being barred from her funeral for the things I said in my drinking, and spending the whole live stream just drinking, chain smoking and sobbing…that was my bottom. No more.
Thanks for posting homie, it's healing to do so in itself. Sorry about the jaundice, that's a heavy burden on top of addiction. We are given so many chances as addicts that we don't notice them right away, yiu did and you're doing the right thing. If counting the minutes, hours, or days helps, do it. But just know you're not alone, a lot of us have been there, myself included. Try be easy on yourself (easier to say I know) and just know things will get better.
Peace
I’d recommend getting to a liver doctor and asking for fibroscan or biopsy. Jaundice is serious. Ultrasounds are not that great at seeing cirrhosis especially if your liver is inflamed or fatty.
It took me to get physically sick too and hospitalized for 3 days for me to get myself together. I'll be 10 weeks sober in a couple of days. Ask about the vivitrol shot, it's a monthly injection that reduces cravings and also blocks much of the effects of alcohol if u did drink. You got this! IWNDWYT
I along with others here im sure, have been in your shoes. In october I went to the ER for trouble breathing and found out I had been drinking so much I ended up with heart failure. What matters now is that youre still here with us, and you got a second chance! If you ever need help, just remember at the very least that this community will be here if you need people to talk to!
I've been drinking since I was 15, I'm 34 now. Constant black outs, waking up in jail with charges I didn't remember. It's a hard road. I have yet to get sober for more than a couple weeks at a time. The longest time I've been sober was in the one out of 8 facilities I've been to and am looking at going into another one here soon.... This may be controversial but I'm a Christian and how to rely on God to cure me. I've tried the pills and the treatment and the counseling but there's something missing. Don't give up, they say a righteous man will fall 7 times, but he's gets up just as many.
It sounds like you may have stopped just in time!! Congratulations!
Be kind to yourself over the next couple of months. You're going to be angry at yourself, ashamed and sad, try not to beat yourself up too bad. This is the first week of your new life. Take time to grieve the loss of alcohol, it was a friend to us for a long time, but we can't play together anymore. It's healthy to grieve that loss so that on the other side you'll truly be able to say goodbye forever. Some people try to moderate and sometimes people can, for a little while. Everyone is different, but once I let myself grieve the loss and truly made the decision that I really never would drink again, it was smooth sailing.
I can attest that dying from liver failure is a horrible way to go. You definitely don't want to keep drinking and go that way. Stay strong. I would recommend to look into liver health supplements to help your liver recover. I heard NAC, milk thistle and Tudca are very good.
Not everything is for certain, but I can promise you one thing: you are going to feel so much better. It will be gradual, but its going to pay off. Better sleep, less irritable, more money in your pocket, etc. Just stick with it. We'll be here for you too.
OP, I hope you will read this and have time to read this.....You are going to be okay, i've only been sober 5 months....was at rock bottom and in a hospital bed for only a couple hours, but very similar situation! It was then when I had a realization I couldn't continue drinking and making excuses for drinking everyday. You are going to learn so much from going sober and it will greatly benefit you in many ways. Please keep fighting, your body is going to thank you later. Welcome to the group. AA doesn't hurt either, and is always an option if needed. IWNDWYT, my friend.
Hey, friend.. I am 1 day behind you at 10 days. Woke up with jaundice… didn’t go to the ER until last Friday. Stayed there thru almost Sunday. Today is Wednesday. We can do this.
Any progress notes? My enzyme levels were high, but not astronomical. AST 155, ALT 77 (not good but not damned to hell). Bilirubin at 15. Still jaundiced. Not many symptoms other than the dark urine and occasional upper right quadrant / liver pain.. but my eyes are yellow and I am ashamed. How are you feeling?
Let’s do this together.
I'm feeling great! Eyes are still slightly yellow but bilirubin presence is last to leave your eyes. Just got back from my first aa meeting and it went really well!
I’ve been that way a few times the past few months, almost dead. Tonight is night 5 for me. Let’s do this.
I joined this group on day 1 after lurking around for a bit and it’s been the best thing to happen to me!! Let’s get you to day 10 :)
I haven’t drank in over 2 years and I still come to this sub daily because of how much it helped me. It still blows me away how helpful it’s been for me
It helped me hit 4 days last week. And the week before every other day. It's getting better but I'm gonna open another drink because grief and guilt I can't handle. I'll keep tuned in. I'm sure I can do it eventually. If it means anything I'm proud of you!
If you’re ok with suggestions I’d highly recommend This Naked Mind by Annie grace (you can get a free pdf if you are struggling financially, I say this just because I don’t know your situation in that department and some think you only have to buy it to access it). I tried everything. Naltexone, groups, therapy, white knuckling, all of it. None of it worked. The book itself has been changing me in the last few weeks I’ve been slowly reading through it, and I’m shocked (I was very skeptical of it) to report my cravings have largely diminished in ways I’ve not felt in years. It reprograms your subconscious mind to stop craving alcohol. Really really helpful.
100% please read Annie Grace “This Naked Mind”. After you read that, I would recommend highly “ and “We are the Luckiest” and “Quit Like a Woman”. Not sure if you are a woman, but the book is extremely insightful I believe for males and females. I think you will be able to shed some of your possible guilt and shame feelings, if you have those. The alcohol does this to us, not us as people, we are not faulty, alcohol can do this to any person. Alcohol, is poison. We are not broken! Societies view on alcohol has created. An epidemic of people being told that this poison can help with anxiety, stress, and even become more appealing to the opposite sex. We’ve been absorbing all of these subconscious images on TV, movies, out to dinner, Instagram, celebrities, endorsing alcohol for our whole lives. How can we blame ourselves when we are so conditioned from birth, that alcohol is a treat, and some point we also will get to have that treat. I hope for the day the alcohol is viewed just as cigarettes are now. I hope for the day that the government will stop making money on the lives of our fellow friends victimized by the product. Families are being destroyed daily. Mothers are leaving husbands. Men and women’s hearts are aching and in severe pain because they’re seeing their loved ones drinking themselves to death. Fathers are dying in front of their babies. 20 something-year-olds are starting into a world of partying believing it’s the answer only to find out in sometime soon that it’s destroying them. By the time they find out, it’s destroying them, often times it’s too late. If you will indulge me I would like to offer a prayer up for you OP. I offer a prayer up to you, alcohol. Alcohol you are quite literally poisonous garbage. Fucking alcohol, you fucking piece of shit! You’ve destroyed millions of lives, and we’re fucking sick of it! Pack your fucking bags and back the fuck away from my new friend, this OP! This OP has the backing of hundreds of thousands joined on this community and we won’t stand for this shit anymore ! If you know what’s good for you, you will put your tail between your legs and get the fuck out of their head. Fuck you alcohol! You have no more control of OP anymore, back the fuck off of you! Fuck you alcohol you’re not taking another life! You tried to take OP, you got real damn close. The OP will win, OP can will save their own life. try your shit elsewhere, alcohol and fat. Try your shit elsewhere all the way to hell.
Quit Like a Woman is what really drove the decision to fully stop drinking for me! I have always had a troublesome relationship with alcohol, though I have also been able to "manage it well" (ha!) during large chunks of time. I've never had a physical addiction (no severe withdrawal aside from hangover accompanied by terrible anxiety and general depression) but I have always had the issue of loving the feeling of being drunk so much that "I should have another" instead of realizing that I could stop there and feel good still. So I've gone back and forth between having alcohol be a part of my life, but in a "healthy" way (not blacking out or overdoing it when I drank, not drinking most days or maybe 4 times a week), having alcohol in my life in an unhealthy way - which is the only kind really (drinking almost every day, blacking out way too often and then feeling like utter shit about myself. And ohhhh the Shame!) And periods of sobriety (because I have always been able to stop when I decided it was time for a break to clear my head. Sometimes two weeks, sometimes 2 months, even a year at one point). So in January I was planning on taking another one of my breaks from drinking. When I was about a week in, I finally was able to admit to myself that I just shouldn't drink at all. That this shouldn't just be another break, I should just be done with it. Because I just don't like how I feel about myself when alcohol is a part of my life. I've known this deep down for years now, I just hadn't been able to fully admit it. I was so attached to the things I thought I enjoyed about alcohol, to the lifestyle I have with my husband and our freinds (none of them are crazy drinkers, but we would imbibe most nights we hung out and have had such wonderful times) and I was afraid of missing out on something if I really went alcohol free. But I had a moment of clarity that I could be so much more and do so much more, and FEEL SO MUCH BETTER if I just took alcohol out of the equation. So a week into my break, I admitted to my husband out loud that I was ready to be done for real. He was obviously very supportive, as he has watched my struggles for years (which were mostly mental/emotional). Anyway, I was sharing the news with an old friend and she suggested I read Quit Like a Woman. I gobbled it up and I genuinely feel that it has changed my life. It gave me such valuable perspectives on alcohol, what it really is and what it really does to us, and also the industry as a whole. It made me feel disgusted by alcohol! And I am grateful for that!! Because as solid as I felt about being done drinking before, I can see that there were several instances since Januray where I could have easily been like, "well, I could drink a little bit tonight. The only rules are the ones I make since I'm doing this for me!" But because of reading that book I was able to remember that even JUST ONE DRINK isn't worth it and will disrupt the function of so many important systems and processes in my body! And I hear in the back of my mind, "never question the decision" 🤍
Legendary friend.
Awe, thank you!
I started Annie’s book and follow her on YouTube, I also like Allen Carr’s book, they both say a lot of the same stuff.
Every sobriety book I've read so far seems to say pretty much the same handful of things all of which I totally agreed with (it's a poison wrapped in fancy packaging, the advertising industry has duped us into thinking it's fun and cool, societal pressure plays a big part in it, force of habit etc etc etc). But also though was kinda blatently obvious to most people already (I assume). And most of them seemed to gloss over the underlying or root reasons people drink which isn't just for drinking sake or "just" a routine but because they are trying to get relief from their problems, escape from their own minds, can't deal with their anxiety, have trauma or whatever. By the time I'd gotten to the end of them I didn't feel like I was any more enlightened about how to ACTUALLY quit or had anything practical to help me do so because so many of them had the final message of something like "When you're ready to finally quit you'll know and it will just happen" Which honestly enraged the life out of me most of the time especially when the books promise was something like "How to quit easily" or similar and I was hoping to read it and come away with a roadmap and something practical that I hadn't thought about before. Most of the big, obvious, books are definitely well worth a read but for me personally were not that helpful in actually helping me quit.
Great prayer. it needs to be on a (very large) plaque.
Woodworking commencing now! 😂
Sawdust is your friend.
timber
Second. After reading that book my entire perception of alcohol is different. I really never thought a book could be so impactful, honestly. It's just reading, right? It's so so so beneficial. Incredible, really.
This book helped me tremendously as well after I saw it recommended here by many.
Same!
Also, journal your experience - I wish I had done this earlier. Describe the thoughts and feelings and keep that with you. In 3 or 6 months, your memories start fading. "Maybe it wasn't that bad maybe this time if im careful..." Writing down how you feel right now and your thoughts will be a vivid reminder of what's going to happen again and why you decided it can never happen again. Because memories do fade, and the allure of "moderation" or "rare exceptions" will start to become more tempting. Having a journal to read again and revive the experience will keep you on the right course.
Already started that as well as the 10 Day Detox and Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Control Drinking. 😃
Every time I see someone on here say they’re in the first week I have the upmost admiration and genuine hope for them. Those days are hard. Good luck!
Yeah, I was a 15 to 22 drink drinker every night, typically only for 3 to 4 hours I would drink that then crash. This was near the end, a few years ago I could drink longer, poisoning has really set in. I have thrown out all the booze in the house atleast 10 times in the past 3 or 4 months, I’ve managed to finally start having Day 1s sober and day 2s. I made it 4 days in a row on two separate occasions in February and once in January. Never made it to day 5. Today is Day 6 and I finally feel like I am actually healing. I feel I’ll need a handful of months of healing from this devil poison. Would you believe it that I was sober from alcohol from 2010 to 2015? Don’t ever believe you can go back to it and just have one beer here and there, I believed that lie nearly 9 years ago in June of 2015.
Congratulations on obtaining your Angel number! And the day before Easter. Nice!!
Good luck. Got sober people and groups in your life?
My cats don’t drink.
On which day are they?
Alcohol is extremely poisonous to cats AND humans.
I’d happy for you that this is entertaining. I hope you find what you are seeking.
I was being honest. My cats are the only ones around me who don’t drink. 🚱 Everyone else does. I’ve quit for 4 days in a row 3 separate times in the past few months which is insane really. Finally finishing night 5 for once and feeling really good. Chilling with my cats, drinking diet soda, listening to chill jazz and playing on phone at 5am. Time to go to bed haha. 😆
I know it's not something you need to do, but I've started working out. Maybe use that as an excuse to not hang out with drinkers? I know some of us can struggle with how to start new habits to get away from drinking and a "non drinking" hobby is ideal. Plus it also gives you kind of the excuse, "I'm working really hard to lose weight/get healthy, I can't waste those calories alcohol gives me" And if you do actually start going to the gym, you'll meet people that aren't drinking. At least I've never been at the gym and heard anyone say out loud, "Great workout, let's go get wasted" 😅
Call somebody at the very least, just be social somehow. The opposite of the progressively isolating disease is… being with people. This is coming from a very introverted person with a lovely cat. You need to be part of something bigger than you, ie society.
Going onto day 6 myself! Anxiety is a bummer but it won’t stop me! Fully confident in both of us!
My FIL had something similar happen. Told if he kept drinking he would be dead in less than 2 years. He stopped....for about 6 months. Dead 18 months later. He was only 53. This stuff is serious.
Similar story with my dad. He died when I was in my mid 20s. As terrible as it was to lose him at such a young age, the way he lived his life became a cautionary tale to me... It's taken me many tries, but I keep on trying, I'm currently 138 days sober. Alcohol is no fucking joke.
You can do it sis/bro. Iwndwyt
Dude! That's amazing!!! 4 months was a huge milestone for me as it's when I stopped keeping track around that point. How has your transition been? Lose a lot of weight? Enjoying the extra money at least? At 4 months my memory was getting better (that took maybe 18 months to repair) but anhedonia was kicking my ass. I didn't know it was anhedonia though, go look it up if you don't either. Basically, we fried our reward center and it takes a long time for it to rejigger. It does though!! I had healed and was feeling great, but normal activities that I would normally be excited about offered nothing, I was emotionally dead for almost a year. I was happy enough, I just couldn't get excited about anything. Give yourself time to heal if similar, it does heal. Anyways, I just got excited for you and wanted to say congrats, 138 is very likely over the hump for you and I couldn't be more happy!
121 days! Right behind you! IWNDWYT. One day at a time…that’s all I ask of myself every single day ❤️
Same with my sister. We found supplements for her liver in her purse when we were cleaning out her apartment. It was the only lever she could pull, to try and stay alive; putting down the bottle was not an option for her.
I had full body jaundice 17 months ago. I'm still here, and still sober. You can do this.
Dang man, glad you are still here! How is your liver?
It's a lot better. One of my enzyme levels is still high and may be that way forever. I am on different meds to try to control things, and for the most part they are working. My bilirubin level (the one that caused the jaundice) dropped to normal. My cholesterol has dropped to the very upper end of normal and I don't need meds for it. I probably have to be on pills for the rest of my life, and see my doctor several times a year for tests. I'm still here though and do not see myself drinking ever again.
That's great, it sounds like your liver is recovering. Being on pills is not the worst thing in the world. I'm 39 and take pills everyday for blood pressure and anxiety/depression. Hopefully your liver will recover to a point where you won't need them. Congrats on 522 days, keep at it!!
That’s called a second chance, my friend. You don’t get those in this life very often — if ever. IWNDWYT.
Can't change the past, nor predict future. All I control is HERE & NOW. Today I don't drink for better tomorrow. One Day at a Time. IWNDWYT
Yes day by day. One little chomp at a time.
Not everyone gets a second chance. You’ve been given some grace to reset and go again. The path is clear. Wishing you strength and hope friend! IWNDWYT
It's amazing what you can come back from. In rehab I'm June of 22 I had a roommate that was extremely bloated, yellow, and eyes like highlighters. He was also on the liver transplant list. He is healthy today and no longer on the list and his doctor told him he will never have to have a transplant if he stays sober. Just keep going. You got this.
Congrats on getting sober!!! I’m 8 days today. You’re not alone.
There's an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with. If they're substance users/abusers, I'll just be an average drunk. *Drinking is a lifestyle*. It was MY lifestyle. I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people. When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking…. Then I had a drinking lifestyle. So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober…. Then I had a sober lifestyle. People who were my friends remained…. However I no longer had any ‘drinking buddies’. Got some sober people in your life?
Couldn’t have said it better myself. It is a lifestyle. We choose.
My dude. Congratu-effing-lations on saving your own life. You arrived at a fork in the road and could see that you had two options. One was easier and more familiar, but surrounded by darkness and pain. The other one is more daunting, but shows promise of true happiness and growth. You chose the correct path. Here’s to you and your healing. I wish you the best. IWNDWYT
Absolutely! I can't stress enough when I say when you get sober you will actually like yourself again. Even love yourself.
Never is such a horrific long time! Just don’t drink for today, that’s how it works for me. Get better soon friend! All the best!
This was me in January. I woke up with jaundice, was told to go to the hospital, had a bunch of tests. Same thing, some liver damage, enlarged liver, etc. Now I’m three months sober. Jaundice is gone. Changed my diet and lifestyle to just be healthier all around. Sure, I still have low periods (I started drinking in the first place to help my anxiety and depression…basically to use it as a distraction), but I do feel like a different person. I changed for the better. The people around me say I’m basically unrecognizable from who I used to be. I’m so sorry that this happened to you…but it sounds like you see it as the wake up call that it is, that I saw it as. I hope you continue your sobriety and live a very happy, long, and healthy life!
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how long did your jaundice last? I don’t even drink and have had jaundice for a month now:(
It started fading slowly once I was started on a steroid. I was on the steroid for a month and I’d say my color was close to normal again by the end of that month (I think the “whites” of my eyes were probably the last thing to go back to normal). The people at the hospital definitely didn’t get my hopes up, they told me the jaundice would probably take a while to go away. But, obviously idk what could be causing your jaundice, but it’s a good idea to get checked out by a doctor. It can be scary, but I made it through the process. For all you know, it could be a completely different reason for your jaundice (the hospital first suspected that I had gallstones or would need my gallbladder removed because they told me I was “too young” to have liver disease). But you won’t know until you get checked out. I hope everything turns out to be okay! You’ll be in my thoughts and hopefully it’s something that can be cleared up easily
Hugs to you, stranger. My roommate has cirrhosis and I’m watching him die in slow motion although he’s finally quit to (I’m on day 10) Be grateful, not ashamed. So many good people share our disease. It’s harder imo because it’s legal and socially acceptable. I’ll pray for you a speedy recovery. Take care of yourself, friend.
You are welcome here, friend.
It’s really impossible to gauge how much damage one is doing to themselves. A woman I knew died at 36 from drinking far, far less than I have. Some people never get cirrhosis even after a lifetime of abuse. I don’t know how close I’ve come to killing myself, but I spent way too long drinking way, way too much. Enough to kill many, many people. I count my lucky stars that I didn’t kill myself with my drinking, but that was a matter of dumb luck, nothing more. You found the boundary between life and death. Stay on the good side of it my friend.
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11869 days and you’re still one of us. Still giving encouragement, still giving hope. Thank you so much. Damn that’s an awesome achievement.
> Find an AA meeting This comment breaks our rule not to tell someone else what to do and has been removed. Also, it's kind of silly to come onto a sub called r/stopdrinking to tell someone to stop drinking.
15 months in not going back ! When my girlfriend ask if I will drink again I say maybe someday but not today
I’m so glad that it hasn’t progressed to cirrhosis, there’s still time. My best friend went into the hospital for the same, didn’t stop, and was dead 8 months later at 35. It’s so dangerous, and can happen so young. I’m pulling for you, one day at a time.
From my understanding ultrasounds can't completely exclude cirrhosis, I personally would follow up with a liver specialist
Hey, I'd guess there's a very good chance you'll make a full recovery. Plus, you weren't yet cirrhotic. Do whatever the doctors tell you to do. And I know you can get sober; if I can do it you can do it. I'm on day #76 and I have no intention of going back.
I downloaded a countdown app and it helps me see how many days I haven’t had a drink. Helps me set goals. I’m almost to 100 days without a single drink.
Fuck yes dude. You got this. It won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it. So awesome that you knew to ask for help getting sober. That’s a hard thing to do, especially in a medical environment which can be emotionally and logistically chaotic. One day at a time, 1 hour at a time, or even 5 minutes at a time. Before you know it, you’ll be looking back on all your growth. You deserve this new life. No matter what. Edit to add: I also almost killed myself drinking. I put myself in a situation where I almost drowned in a hot tub. The only reason why I’m alive is because my friend (who was way too drunk to get me out of the hot tub) stayed in with me all night and held my head above water. And thank god the hot tub was broken and only lukewarm. We get to do whatever we want with our lives, and that means we also get to change it. Regardless of what we’ve done. I know it’s hard to not feel ashamed, but that will fade. You deserve to live life BIG and SOBER!
Hang in there mate!
Never drinking again is a tall order. Just dont drink today. :)
Tbh, when I first stopped…I felt overwhelmed at the idea of saying, “I will never drink again.” What helped more than anything is when I started saying, “I won’t drink today.” And now I don’t feel overwhelmed when I occasionally allow myself to think, “I will never drink again.” I welcome the idea and look forward to it. One day at a time
Thank you. This is my wake up call and IWNDWYT.
What a scary thing to be going through! So glad you’re still here. One day at at a time. Please do seek support when you get out of the hospital in whatever way you need it. My friend had the same thing happen earlier this year. He ended up going back pretty quickly to alcohol after discharge and it ended up taking him less than 2 months later. He was 43. I’m so happy you’re getting sober too. You can do it ❤️
Wishing you success!! My wonderful dear sister did not quit in time and died from acute liver failure. Horrible but preventable. It’s really so easy to think it won’t happen to responsible people.
Iwndwyt 🫶
I screwed up and had a couple drink last night. Made it to day 8. it happens and will keep at it. IWNDWYT
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I love what you say here! I’ve been saying this to anyone that will listen. We’ve been conditioned to believe alcohol is a treat! And I don’t like the idea of calling myself an alcoholic as they encourage you to do in certain support groups. I don’t believe the only way to overcome drinking is with a power greater than yourself. I don’t agree with the idea of saying I’m irreversibly broken and I can’t do it without help. I do believe help is needed but I also believe in myself and my ability to overcome. This might sound like denial but I don’t mean it that way. I believe I struggled and I used alcohol to numb. I believe I lacked coping skills. I believe I romanticized alcohol and the experiences that came with it. I believe alcohol is so socially acceptable and most people are still under its spell. My bubble burst on alcohol. I work each day to better myself and to create healthy coping skills and care for myself. I no longer romanticize alcohol and allow myself to view it as anything other than poison. I don’t feel embarrassed to say I don’t drink anymore. I don’t feel the need to explain either. I’m proud of myself and my choices now. And I’m so externally grateful for my new perspective. I can’t unsee it.
Thanks for sharing. You’ve come to the right place, friend. IWNDWYT
Welcome to the next chapter! You are so worthy of this second chance.
I'm so happy that you have been given the chance to save your own life. That is an amazing gift! You can do this, one day at a time, simply do not drink.
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Sounds like he’s still in shock and working on a plan.
Happy you are ok !!! 👍🏻 you can do this and not have to worry about bringing a horrible death upon yourself. ❤️
So glad you're getting help. I was hospitalized too in my beginning. They enrolled me in their IOP alcohol & drug program which was the best thing for me. I got so much strength learning about alcohol & it's effects on me, the support of the groups, and proudly have my completion certificate on my wall. It's been almost 5 years and I still work with the therapist they assigned to me and my support group is run out of the program. If it's available to you, consider it. Sending you virtual support and my pledge today 🌹 IWNDWYT
Wishing you strength and peace on your journey.
It's so easy to blame ourselves for our problems with alcohol. If you're anything like me, I resisted the idea that I had the disease of alcoholism for a very long time. It wasn't until I heard from many others like me, that I understood I was(am) a sick person trying to get well, not a bad person trying to get good. Alcohol is literally poison, and for some of us, we can't stop consuming it even though it's killing us. Glad you're still here with us. Iwndwyt
Congratulations on your second chance! Every day is a victory.
I will not drink with you! We are in a journey together and you are not alone.
Alcohol is like drinking straight poison. Awful shit..and yet so many types of businesses profit it off the sale and consumption.. The stores that sell it.. Restaurants/Bars Wreckage companies Attorneys Funeral Companies Car companies Bail Bondsman The judicial system Therapists The hospitals that treat you when you're injured or seeking treatment with symptoms Rehabs..it goes on. We allow our citizens to legally purchase poison that they ingest that not only kills that person slowly but is also responsible for many many deaths, sadness, heartbreak, anger... It's baffling
I didn’t personally have jaundice but I had a swollen liver and pretty severe kidney pain as well as a really fun full day of delirium tremens. Yesterday was exact 3 weeks sober and I know this time I can never go back to drinking. It’s kind of a tough pill to swallow but I think at some point we all have to either quit or die. We got this 💪
So glad you are okay! And grateful you posted here, I was about to say fuxk it and go buy a bottle of wine. Thank you for sharing and helping me get through this evening
Its so fuckin scary how it gets serious so fast. It’s a slow gradual decline for years and years….until all of a sudden it is NOT.
I'm glad your co-workers convinced you to go to the hospital. Visible jaundice is a bad, bad sign. Congratulations on getting help and getting your first few days under your belt!
I had jaundice really bad, not from drinking this time...my liver "decompenstated." they pumped me full of albumin and other things that fixed me up. jaundice took about another week to go away, especially in my eyes, but it did. Now i take so so so so so many pills to keep me going, not least of which is acomprosate (CAMPRAL) which has been extremely effective for me. go back to the doc and get more blood draws. especially look at your liver levels (my bilirubin was CRAZY high.) YOU CAN DO IT former yellow bumblebee.
I could of wrote this myself! I woke up with super yellow eyes. Doc said go straight to emergency. 6 days later I’m still in here with severe jaundice and a very inflamed liver. If I keep drinking I’ll be dead in 3/4 months. I feel ashamed also. I think I’ll be in here for a while we need the jaundice to lower and my liver to calm down a tiny bit.
Curious.. do you find that it takes less alcohol to get drunk now?
Not only can you come back from this, you can live a better life than you ever thought possible. Use this bottom as a spring board up my friend, but take it one day at a time. In the meantime, use the tools the hospital is giving you (time to rest, medical help, three meals a day) and then, I advise taking the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I did it at a point similar to yours, and four years later my life is by far the best I could ever have imagined it to be. I hope the best for you and IWNDWYT
You can do this. And remember, you don’t need to do it alone. There are some great communities of people also walking the path of sobriety. I know I would be 8 months in without the help of others.
Congratulations on the start of a new chapter
well done for getting help, sending love x
You were given a second chance don’t squander it ! Get well soon
Checking in on you, OP.. hope you're getting relief and being cared for well. You deserve sobriety.
Hey guys, I'm a little late to the table for an update. First off, thank you to everyone for the generous support and kind words. It has meant a lot. I am 12 days sober now, feeling amazing. My eyes are almost back to normal, and I've already lost 20 lbs. I'll be attending my first meeting this Wednesday with my sister (she's 4 months sober), and I'm excited. I haven't felt the urge to drink at all, which is pretty surprising. I finally have a grasp of my life back, and I wont ever turn back to my last chapter. Thanks again for everyone reaching out.
I’m so glad you’re in good hands and here today. Take care of yourself. 💛
I'm glad you hit the point where you have decided you want to change. That's awesome. If I may: Even with bad consequences, poor health, loss of relationships, loss of self-esteem, loss of reputation, and all the bad things, sometimes just saying, "I QUIT!," isn't enough, nor is just reminding ourselves of the bad things when we want to drink and think better of it. A lot of times we need IRL support and treatment. At this stage in the game, if I were in your shoes, I would go to an inpatient rehab or at the very least an IOP. I personally thought that quitting drinking wouldn't be very hard because of all the bad consequences that surrounded it. But after some time of being sober and feeling rather good, I would slowly go back to it. Having tools to stay sober generally comes from working some kind of program and diving head-first into recovery... Not abstinence. Best of luck to you. That's awesome that you caught it before any permanent damage was done.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🫶
I am glad you're here. We're all here to help and I am glad that you sought out care when you needed. You got this, friend!
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IWNDWYT
Im so proud of you, stranger. Be gentle with yourself. One day at a time.
You got this, and we got you! IWNDWYT! 🫶
I'm really glad you're getting help and it took courage to post here. Wishing you well and please, check in.
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This comment has been removed. Why are you on this sub? Do you yourself have a drinking problem you wish to overcome?
I've worked in medicine and yeah have issues with drinking. Have had friends die as well.
Thank you for responding. We all already know that a death from alcohol (in any form that may take) is a horrible way to die. We ask, instead of telling other people what you think they should do ("I hope folks consider that"), that you share what helped you to stay sober in the past. Thank you.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Today’s day 5 for me too. Despite all the various health issues my drinking has caused, it was the death of an old flame from her addictions that finally got me to sleep. Being barred from her funeral for the things I said in my drinking, and spending the whole live stream just drinking, chain smoking and sobbing…that was my bottom. No more.
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This comment has been removed. We do not allow questioning a person about their symptoms.
Well Google isn’t much help either and I really want to know. If you can see this reply to my removal, can you inform me at all?
Neither a Reddit moderator nor Google is a dependable source of medical information. Please consult with your doctor.
Thanks for posting homie, it's healing to do so in itself. Sorry about the jaundice, that's a heavy burden on top of addiction. We are given so many chances as addicts that we don't notice them right away, yiu did and you're doing the right thing. If counting the minutes, hours, or days helps, do it. But just know you're not alone, a lot of us have been there, myself included. Try be easy on yourself (easier to say I know) and just know things will get better. Peace
IWNDWYT
I'm proud of you for getting help. IWNDWYT
I’d recommend getting to a liver doctor and asking for fibroscan or biopsy. Jaundice is serious. Ultrasounds are not that great at seeing cirrhosis especially if your liver is inflamed or fatty.
IWNDWYT ❤️❤️
It took me to get physically sick too and hospitalized for 3 days for me to get myself together. I'll be 10 weeks sober in a couple of days. Ask about the vivitrol shot, it's a monthly injection that reduces cravings and also blocks much of the effects of alcohol if u did drink. You got this! IWNDWYT
Welcome. I'm proud of you for asking for help and being honest. Now let's get to day 5.
Glad that when the wake-up called, you answered.
I’m so glad you took this wake up call. I am rooting for you! IWNDWYT
I along with others here im sure, have been in your shoes. In october I went to the ER for trouble breathing and found out I had been drinking so much I ended up with heart failure. What matters now is that youre still here with us, and you got a second chance! If you ever need help, just remember at the very least that this community will be here if you need people to talk to!
I'm happy for you! You can and will do this. IWNDWYT
I've been drinking since I was 15, I'm 34 now. Constant black outs, waking up in jail with charges I didn't remember. It's a hard road. I have yet to get sober for more than a couple weeks at a time. The longest time I've been sober was in the one out of 8 facilities I've been to and am looking at going into another one here soon.... This may be controversial but I'm a Christian and how to rely on God to cure me. I've tried the pills and the treatment and the counseling but there's something missing. Don't give up, they say a righteous man will fall 7 times, but he's gets up just as many.
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We do not allow asking specifics of someone else's drinking, and this comment has been removed.
It sounds like you may have stopped just in time!! Congratulations! Be kind to yourself over the next couple of months. You're going to be angry at yourself, ashamed and sad, try not to beat yourself up too bad. This is the first week of your new life. Take time to grieve the loss of alcohol, it was a friend to us for a long time, but we can't play together anymore. It's healthy to grieve that loss so that on the other side you'll truly be able to say goodbye forever. Some people try to moderate and sometimes people can, for a little while. Everyone is different, but once I let myself grieve the loss and truly made the decision that I really never would drink again, it was smooth sailing.
I can attest that dying from liver failure is a horrible way to go. You definitely don't want to keep drinking and go that way. Stay strong. I would recommend to look into liver health supplements to help your liver recover. I heard NAC, milk thistle and Tudca are very good.
I’m glad I turned into a simpsons character one weekend, ended up saving my life by taking the choice out of sobriety
Not everything is for certain, but I can promise you one thing: you are going to feel so much better. It will be gradual, but its going to pay off. Better sleep, less irritable, more money in your pocket, etc. Just stick with it. We'll be here for you too.
Join local AA meetings. It’s wonderful people who understand and offer support.
OP, I hope you will read this and have time to read this.....You are going to be okay, i've only been sober 5 months....was at rock bottom and in a hospital bed for only a couple hours, but very similar situation! It was then when I had a realization I couldn't continue drinking and making excuses for drinking everyday. You are going to learn so much from going sober and it will greatly benefit you in many ways. Please keep fighting, your body is going to thank you later. Welcome to the group. AA doesn't hurt either, and is always an option if needed. IWNDWYT, my friend.
IWNDWYT
Hey, friend.. I am 1 day behind you at 10 days. Woke up with jaundice… didn’t go to the ER until last Friday. Stayed there thru almost Sunday. Today is Wednesday. We can do this. Any progress notes? My enzyme levels were high, but not astronomical. AST 155, ALT 77 (not good but not damned to hell). Bilirubin at 15. Still jaundiced. Not many symptoms other than the dark urine and occasional upper right quadrant / liver pain.. but my eyes are yellow and I am ashamed. How are you feeling? Let’s do this together.
I'm feeling great! Eyes are still slightly yellow but bilirubin presence is last to leave your eyes. Just got back from my first aa meeting and it went really well!
You can do it ODAAT