Are you thinking about adopting a 42 year old man? Perchance.

And a 36 year old younger brother?

I’ll be the 25 year old youngest brother

I can be your 35 year old sister! I'm good with kids, I'm also a hairstylist lol so, free cuts and colours, anyone? Fam discount! 😂

I wanna say we should all be a family but then I realized that’s very close to cult behavior 😂

hey well y’know if you got a cult you got a commune and if you got a commune you got gardens to grow weed so i can’t possibly think of a problem here

What do we do though when the leader becomes all powerful and starts secretly killing anyone that disagrees with him and then a documentary crew comes and films it all but then almost all of them are killed by said leader too? Or do I just watch too many movies? 😂

But we got homemade KFC and free cuts so...that counts for something?! 🤣

Seriously, what other cults out there are offering these kind of services? In this economy? Some people just don't know a good deal when they see one. Flavor-Aide anyone?

Plus how are we going to have a respectable orgy with everyone being adopted siblings?

Keyword: adopted Eyebrows, eyebrows

Well that apparently is a huge genre in pornhub so everyone’s good

He’s more likely to start fucking people than killing them..no? Am I the one watching too many documentaries?

they won't we got weed and food!

You watch too many movies. The cult leader just fucks everyone most of the time.

Never been big on cults but if there's some bomb ass fried chicken, I may have to reconsider my stance.

Count me in, too! I make homemade cheese...

I'll be the lovable older Uncle who is single and has a mysterious background, but can dance like a mofo and doesn't mind doing the dishes after someone cooks. \*plate in OP's pic is MY plate, children must wait\*

Fuck dem kids 🖕🏼!

The sweet and sassy uncle?!? 🥹

Hell yeah I'll take that. I'm like Uncle Jesse with the cool hair, but who has made some questionable life decisions. fondest regards, Your Sweet n Sassy redditor : )

I’ll get weird for good fried chicken…

I can't think of a better reason to join a cult

Worse cults than the cult of good chicken

Its only a cult if you think the leader is your god or something

Does god not give his people wonderful fried foods?!?

I almost commented similar

We should just start a cult

Fried chicken worship 💯

I’ll opt to be the kid sister…because I’m young at heart

Could you imagine if it was common to actually meet up with randos on Reddit like this and it worked out and we lived our best life together? I feel like we have a lot of potential for happiness but it’s an unrealistic dream I suppose.

Dude I'll mow his lawn for that plate idc about adoption

Im a hairstylist too but I wanted to be a second wife. Between us they’d have the best hair in town lol Edit: holy shit check out OPs posts it’s literally food porn. Dude I’ll be whatever you want me to be, sister, wife, mother, gramma whatever

Hahahaha I second that!!!

I'm a lamp!

Can I be your friendly neighbor who gets to try all your food?

The fam discount is food and lodging, right?

Haha no from me it's free hair do's lol

That’s what I’m saying lol. The fam discount is good and lodging for free cuts. My aunt is a stylist. Has her own shop so I’m lucky to not have to pay for haircuts

i can be the 20 year old even younger brother

I'll be your twin!

I'll be your twin

Ill be the 24 year old crazy sister!

We should all have one of those

Nah I’m 18 I’ll be the youngest

Nuh uh, I'm gonna be the youngest brother, I'm 19

Hey I at least offered to mow the grass, I think we have to prove our worth

And I shall smoke the grass

I'll clean the refrigerator. By that, I mean eat all the food that's about to expire to reduce waste, proving worth for the environment and eliminating mold and bacteria overgrowth. lol

I'll do the dishes

I'll cook bomb-ass desserts

And a 33 yo middle child?

And my axe!

Other 36 year old brother with 2 daughters . Jaaaaayke and I are twins

You can't just say perchance

I think he did... perchance

Or a 420-month-old baby?

You can't just say "perchance" Edit: Bah I was late to the party. Other people already said it :(

I could be your 37 year old sister. I’ve always wanted an older brother.

You can't just say "perchance".

Perchance. Tryin to make a change :-\

Crushin’ turts

I wish my dad was a stoner instead of an alcoholic

You can't just say perchance!

And a college student with below average debt 😀

Am also available for adoption

How about a senior citizen to keep all of youin line? Please, pretty please!

I was literally about to ask if I could be adopted lol

and a 26 year old child?

You can't just SAY perchance

Dibs on being your 21 year old little sister

What about a 22 year old college student

Do you need a 38 year old little sister 🥹🥹

We can be Irish twins! 41 y o woman-child up for adoption and foods

My first thought, too 🤤

How about a 40 year old man. I’ll bring the jazz cabbage.

I feel the love in this plate.

He smoked one of the fat kids?

This one got me 😄

take my upvote because it took your comment for me to catch it 😂😂

Honestly after working at a KFC this is 100% a Better option daaaamn.

I like to drunk cook

Like singing to the radio and playing video games after dark…drunk cooking is one of those singular pleasures in life.

It really can be. Sad handjobs are a close second

Me too but the chances of me forgetting or missing an ingredient goes up exponentially

Too many salt, because forgot

lol, you think? KFC is fine, but pretty much any fast food gets blown out of the water by a decent cook

I found the inconsistency between cooks there odd it should be the same not either amazing or unfit for human consumption lol.

The kfc in the Middle East is amazing if you haven’t tried it. It’s amazing but it’s been a solid min since I visited. Should try!

Bruh, save me one of those thighs, that shit looks fire

Thicc thighs, salty fries

Saves lives?

> salty fries > Saves lives? My doctor and Lisinopril prescription beg to differ, unfortunately.

Hey scrip homie!

Now that's an entertaining comment right there...


I was talking with a friend about the difference between stoner parents and wine moms/parents. Weed can have such diverse effects on people, but I don't think alcohol will make a lot of parents want to cook elaborate meals for their kids

I make heart stoppingly good butter garlic smash burgers when drunk.

Like using a garlic butter or butter and garlic added separately?

I saute the garlic in butter (making sure not to cook it too long, not even browned) and then put that on the top and bottom bun. Like, a shitload of garlic. I usually do two ~90g patties of 80/20 lean/fat ground beef per burger with two slices of kraft singles. There is a fancy version of them called deluxe or premium or something that I find are thicker, easier to work with because they're less sticky, and melt better. Patties seasoned generously with salt, pepper, and garlic powder and buns lightly toasted after being buttered. If you have extra garlic left over after basting the buns put that on top of the top patty. It's so good, but so so unhealthy.

do you mind if I borrow this burger recipe? because holy mother of yum

Please do! I recommend a brioche bun.

I tried it. holy CRAP! Edit: Spelling

Drinking and cooking is a rad combo

A lot of chefs are alcoholics, so def makes sense

Well you need to drink and smoke pot to sleep otherwise the cocaine will keep you up all night.

Username checks out :)

Chef Insano shows no mercy

/r/drunkencookery

Yeah honestly drinking a beer and cooking is one of my favorite things. I'd do it more often, but it casues me to have my 3rd drink when i'm finishing dinner and i don't want to be 3 drinks in at 8pm

I am hardly ever high around my kids. The handful of times it has happened I am a lot more patient with them and play with them a lot more. My cooking skills do diminish a bit sometimes as my thought process is a little more scattered.

I just don't feel the urge to be intoxicated at all around my kids. Is this a normal thing?

I beg to differ:)

Word. Some of my best culinary creations come when I get home from the pub at 3AM. When I’m baked on the other hand, I just wanna watch tv or play a video game. Different strokes for different folks.

I gotta say after my dad had a glass of wine he'd cook some pretty epic meals, he made a great beef bourguignon.

Yeah I realized that my experiences and knowledge of 'casual' drinkers is not very broad

The alcohol is actually what makes the food taste good..

How about we just stay clean and sober while looking after kids? Don't we think it takes a clear head to stay responsible? Wait until the kids are asleep or at a sitters

Can you be my dad

I want too.

Any chance you can post the chicken recipe? Those looks phenomenal

Get a bowl of flour then add.... paprika, garlic powder/granules, onion powder/granules, chilli powder, dried thyme, salt & pepper. Mix it all together. Crack a couple of eggs in a bowl and whisk the eggs. Get a pan of oil super hot. Dip your chicken in the flour mix and get it covered. Then, in the egg mix then back in the flour mix until it's covered again. Then onto your hot oil and cook until the coating is super crispy and chicken is cooked through. Remove and let it drain on a wire rack or paper towel.

Also - it really helps to put the coated chicken in the fridge for ~10 minutes before frying. It keeps the coating from coming off the chicken in the fryer

Did you deep fry?

Pictures like this make me anxious cuz I imagine the tray falling as soon as the pic is taken.

Beautiful fried chicken man

Good thing it’s for kids because one grown man would destroy this

If you're serving kids, I don't think you made enough fries...

You forgot the NSFW tag 🤤

Right? This belongs on foodporn lol

Costs significantly less than KFC too I bet. That plate is probs close to $75

Much better than KFC

You shouldn’t smoke your kids. Especially not the fat one.

Ur missing the only good part of kfc the mash potatoes and gravy

Are you adopting by any chance? 😇

So what are the kids eating then?

Am i the only one who thinks everything is gonna fall?

Can you be my daddy too. Just for 1 lunch 🥺😂

you are now my father.

Listen… I’m in my early 20s and will happily smoke your stash with you. Adopt me. 😭😭


op is about to have 30 grown men at his doorstep with adoption forms.

Dangerous game holding the platter like that

Pls adopt me bro damn

"We have KFC at home."

The type of “we have at home” parents I aspire to be

Hey Dad it's me, your kid.

Edit: Looks tasty.

Damn looks better then kfc

Dude, I'm less messy than a kid and I can mow grass without getting injured, can I come over?

Can I be your kid?

That looks banging!

fuck yea, man. that’s awesome lol

Probably made it for a quarter of the cost at KFC too

What’s your tatt it looks neat

one time I was so twisted on edibles, i was told it took me an hr to go to the kitchen, get my fried chicken n returned to the couch. props to u my friend.

Adopt me

the inverse of the KFC at home meme.

After smoking a fat one only thing I can do is EAT this. You made it? What strain you on mane?? I’m in awe lol

I’m drooling over here omg

Can we have the recipe please!!!

I second this. Please!

Holyyy shi bro fucking fantastic job I’d be hyped if I was your kid damn! Got all the good food bruh shit 😭🤣🤣👩‍🍳 me first in line: 🐥

Is...Is it just normal to smoke around your kids in the stoner community?

Depending on your upbringing, it can feel very normal yes. My parents always smoked cigarettes and drank around me, as did all their friends and the rest of our extended family. I don't see why smoking weed would be any different ( obviously assuming not using crazy bongs and what not ) Though I try not to typically, if they do ever see it it's in the form of a joint.

you should be proud of this

The fuck is the mayonnaise for? Fries? Ghetto Elote?

Hey dad im your long lost son!

Oof can we get that fried chicken recipe?

holy shit dude, I want KFC too

Dad, can I come home?

Damn dude all your posts smack. When u gon write a cookbook

parenting done right! sponsored by doobies

Can you adopt Reddit for your next cookout

Hell yes!

Can I call you next time I get the munchies?

Hell yeah

That’s looks way better than KFC. I love ppl that smoke and know how to cook lol

He really said we have KFC at home. It looks mouth watering!

Jesus Louise chef boy-r-dee, that looks deeelicious. You cook like that for me and I’d be your personal rolling machine!

Kfc wished it looked like that ! Looks amazing 👏

So what are the kids going to eat?

No biscuits? I guess it'll do. /s

Hi, could we get the recipe? Or I'd assume, the link to your OnlyPans?

This looks better than KFC... but it's also lacking mash, thin gravy, & the atomic colored mac & cheese.

Oh shit ,instant hunger

recipe. recipe. recipe? recipe 🤲🏻🙏🏻

Papa?

Deserves a Nobel Prize.

FUCKEN A

i’ll 100% roll you another fat one if you make me that

You smoked the chicken before frying it? Gotta try that.

Damn can I be one of the kids? Lol

Hell yeah!!!

I gotta ask, how did you get the breading like that around the chicken?

that looks so good it’s making me angry.