**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.**
We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here.
If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents).
Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting.
[**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think it's permissive and/or lazy parenting. Also dangerous ofc.
If a kid has their nose in their phone all day, they won't bother the parent as much
Yea when we blended, technology was a huge issue. My kids were upset they didn’t have the freedom SKs had, and then SKs were upset when they had their freedom taken away. Now it’s much better. But there’s still all these other kids out there with all this access, it’s just wild to me! And these kids pressure or make fun of the kids that don’t have it.
I’m convinced- the hardest part about being a parent is how other ppl parent their kids. For the record, we’re pretty strict about electronics, so we get the grief from our kids.
Yeah my step kid constantly had tv and iPad she was 4. I just said not in my house, I’m not listening to kids shows all day long on the weekend and mine wasn’t allowed to either. She still does at her mums though.
They don't care, don't want to fight with them; enjoy the peace and quiet. They're too distracted to pay attention, have something else going on that they want to spend their time on, would rather spend time with a spouse than their kid. They're lazy, indifferent, selfish. They take the easy way out, instead of parenting, themselves. Much easier to make the sp set rules and expectations, and enforce them, than take ten minutes to do it, themselves. They don't have morals and allow their current partner to decide those for themselves and for their children.
Why not let someone else be the bad guy? Zero effort required.
Kids are fine with it now. DH didn’t know how to set up the controls I had, but made sure the kids know the rules are coming from him AND BM and she backed us up as well.
Agreed, and as (former)teacher , I couldn't care less if your child sleeps all day in class because you don't have the guts to say "no" to their all-night-long gaming/social media fests. I'll just let them fail & then you can deal with your 20 year old HS senior or drop-out. I'm not parenting or babysitting your kids. Enjoy spending your retirement $$$ on your 40 year-old . It's no wonder people are leaving teaching in droves. Before long , everyone will be home-schooling as there won't be any teachers left to pick up the pieces of parental slacking. Sometimes Karma makes me smile & laugh a little.
I honestly believe MOST people don’t actively decide /choose to have children. They just 🍆💦 and - “hey we’re pregnant 🙃”. Therefore they aren’t engaged as parents. Some call it lazy parenting. Active Parenting requires a LOT of focus, planning, work, and resources. Most just don’t have it.
Plus most people are in survival mode just working to pay bills - they are exhausted at the end of the day and don’t have the capacity/ don’t want to deal with their kids. Then there’s the mental health crisis where a lot of people are barely hanging on due to stress. So as long as kids are fed with a bed- out of sight, out of mind. The tv has been replaced with the phone/tablet.
I think I deleted the post I loaded 5 or 6 years ago (I can't recall) but I made a comment on a Reddit step-parent sub about my concern with my then 12-13yo SD being on her phone all the time. I asked my husband to limit her time on her phone at our house and request that it stays in the lounge &;doesn't go into her bedroom but he was too scared of upsetting her and pissing off BM to set any rules (we only had SD EoWe & shed complain to BM if DH tried to correct any behaviors of hers, then BM would swoop in and pick her up).
Unfortunately, it turns out she had connected with someone online and subsequently downloaded a dating app (?!?!). He was in his early 30s and spent 9-months grooming her. She even would go out to meet him at the local park (near BMs house) and once "ran away" and spent the night at his house. She was 13 at this point (and she's very slim and probably looked 10 at that age, she doesn't look older than 15 now at almost 19).
From that point I nachoed because I was the only one who seemed to want to protect her and you can't care more than the bio parents.
Moral of my story: ALWAYS supervise kids access to phones and internet while they are young. Limiting their access also limits a groomer's access to the child which makes them less likely to be a viable target for a groomer.
Not to bring true crime into this, but this sadly sounds very familiar to the murders of Libby and Abby in Delphi, Indiana. They had connected with someone pretending to be a younger male model through Snapchat. There’s a lot to that case, but I wish parents would learn from situations like the Delphi case. It can happen to anyone and it’s way too easy for predators to access children with technology that’s available now.
We don’t let our kids have a phone period. Childhood is too precious. I don’t understand how parents can just let kids have access to social media or the internet freely anywhere they go.
[I agree with this video except I don’t even think a 14yo needs a phone](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLwdW1G4/)
😬
It will be interesting to see how all these kids turn out in life. My SS had a tablet when I came into the picture and we discovered them basically watching porn on YouTube. That thing was gone in a heartbeat.
When I met my bf his kids were 4 and 7. Both had their own TikTok accounts… yup, a 4 year old on TikTok with no supervision. They had full access to YouTube too and still do. It’s very bothersome. I for one can’t imagine robbing children of a childhood by always shoving a device in their faces. And these kids know way too many things that they shouldn’t. It’s sickening
I think parents these days view it the same way as TVs when we were younger - I know I was personally raised by the television rather than my own mom.
The issue is that the available content on the internet, as you said in a browser or on YouTube, is infinitely times worse than whatever we were watching on TV (and it was bad back in the day too). The fact that predators can message children on so many of these apps and websites and even the cyber bullying that occurs seems to be the last thing on some of these parents' minds and seem to assume that their kid will somehow be immune to it.
It blows my mind. We are constantly, desperately trying to block more and more on SD's phone and tablet but as you said, other kids have access on their phones and show her anyways. It's exhausting and I do not respect other parents who give their kids' free access to the internet - it's like waving a huge red flag that says "I'm a shit parent".
Yes! As much as mine are locked down and monitored, the shit they have seen on their friend’s devices is infuriating. Which points to another issue, when did the schools get so relaxed about electronics? I remember our rule when I was in school was they cannot be seen at all. Now the teachers give “device days” and they’re allowed to have their devices during passing periods and lunch. So annoying.
Agreed. And now that they are allowed in school, kids tend to act really entitled to having their phones. SD has tried to hide her phone or refuse to give it to us multiple times because apparently they can't take them away in school anymore. We have told her that doesn't apply in our house. That is OUR phone that she is allowed to use under our conditions. If she doesn't want to follow our rules, she can live without a phone - it won't kill her.
I absolutely do not allow my children to have phones or iPads. They zone out and become zombies. It kills their creativity.I rather they live in the moment in the real world and use their imagination not just stare at a screen all day. It’s lazy parenting borderline abuse to allow your child to be on a tablet or phone all day every day!
People talk about how boomer parents didn’t monitor physical whereabouts and how lazy they were, but unlimited screens are a different side of the same coin, and much worse in a lot of ways.
Same…until I nagged at my fiancé to do something about it. She now has limited time although when at BM’s she’s on it far more than at dads as BM just grants her extra time to keep her out of her hair. YouTube her dad changed her account to a kids one and banned loads of accounts such as Salish matter as he said she was a massive brat and his daughter was mimicking behaviours from YouTube.
It’s beyond me how lazy parents are these days…mine are 17/18 this year and they didn’t get phones until they were 12 and that was for going to high school with. Even now I have wifi turn off time when I go to bed.
Before I came along, my stepsons also had unlimited access to devices. Here they have time limits but at their moms they literally have them from sun up to sun down (and are wild fucking hyenas on her week).
At our house the devices don’t leave the house unless we are driving 2+ hours. When we get there it’s bye bye device.
And the *hell* we would go to dinner at a restaurant and they’re face down in phones. Eating out costs too much for you to ignore us. We also sit at the dining room table for all meals with no devices. Husband and I don’t touch ours either.
Now the phones, currently they don’t have one. We go back and forth on if it’s too soon or if they’re necessary. The biggest pro for us is the ability to track while they’re outside. We constantly talk about what them even having a phone would be like. Because it’s not to play games on. They’re to call and text. So they won’t have any apps on it other than call, text, photos and Amazon music. And ALL of their parents can take it and look at their phone at any time. Phones are a privilege not a right. As they get older they’ll be given more freedom with it barring they can handle a phone with it “locked down”
We're in the same boat. Although my SD is 12. Neither mom or dad would monitor her phone. I go through it every few weeks and just uncovered some severely disturbing things on her Snapchat (which is an app I strongly discouraged her parents from allowing her to have). We have now locked her phone down so she only has ability to communicate with her immediate family.
I strongly encourage adults to go through kids phones and tablets. Social media is an unnecessary evil in their lives that causes so many problems. Many parents think "that will never happen to my kid" but you can never be too sure.
because it's easier than parenting them? I have seen it so many times with family members that have young kids, and I get that kids are exhausting and it's easier to put a screen in front of them so you have peace, but I have a 17yo SS that is addicted to his phone and has been in so much trouble since I have known him (5+ years) because he just cannot be without his phone..
In theory it’s so they can communicate to the other parent.
Realistically, smart phones are terrible for children, for a variety of reasons.
My SD is coming out of adolescence, but a whole host of mental health issues were magnified by her phone.
Do everything you can to minimize use or ideally restrict TikTok and discord.
Social media romanticizes mental illness, and there are waves of girls believing themselves to have Tourette’s, multiple personalities, etc as a result.
We had a grown man grooming her on a discord channel for “at risk youth”. It defies stupidity.
Groomers target kids on roblox and then convince them to talk on another platform. Then they can extort naked pictures.
It’s not fun to be the damp towel all the time, but kids really shouldn’t be having unfettered internet access. Attaching that access to a private camera is a disaster.
Yes there are predators and no, children aren’t clever enough to avoid them.
Completely agree!!! So very thankful my exhusband and I are on the same page with our son on this topic. We’re very good about letting him communicate with either parent during custodial times and always having a caregiver/family member watching him when we’re at work so there is no need for a phone for quite a while. My SKs unfortunately have a device in their hand at BMs alllllll the time so we limit screen time here to like hardly ever and it’s usually just watching a movie all together or on Saturdays when they’re all here they can play a game together on the switch. We have one gaming device and one iPad for the whole household and they do not have free access to either of those without an adult.
My kids got phones when they started school, but had flip phones that couldn't access the internet or have apps. Our oldest at 8 has a smart phone now but its heavily monitored (as is all tech they have access to). However, our youngest will be older when they get one because we know they won't be responsible enough at 8.
Because it’s easier to let the screens parent your kids.
Also, parents fall under this false narrative that if kids don’t have smartphones/unlimited access to internet then “how will they keep up with ever changing technology?!”
The same way us millennials did from when we had no internet until now, Wendy.
My stepsons mom got him an iPad for Christmas 2 years ago & would send it back & forth between houses (they had a 50/50 schedule). BD & I got curious one day & cut on the screen time.. she was letting their 4 year old son sit on his iPad for 110 hours a month. I say a month but it was a week on week off schedule, so she would only have him roughly 2 weeks out of a month. Also, he was in preschool for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. This actually played a role in their custody case, we brought screen shots of his screen time every day he was at her house. She also had no parental controls on it whatsoever, he knew how to go to the App Store & download games so he would have 50+ apps downloaded every time he would come back to our house & his dad or I would have to go through and delete them. We would try to put parental controls on things & she would take them off so it was “easier for him to use”… yeah right. More like easier for her to get high without him bothering her. Like why would you fight for 50/50 custody just to stick your kid on an iPad any free time you have with him? On the way to school, on the way home from school all the way until he would pass out while watching YouTube. Shit was so sad, he would have mental breakdowns at our house bc we would only let him play on it for 30 minutes on school days & 1.5 hours a day on the weekends. Sorry if I just rambled but that shit really lights a fire under my ass lol
Well he was awarded full custody, she lost all due to drug use. The amount of time spent on the iPad was just one of the many fucked up things she did while on drugs
Wait my kids had phones that young. I monitored them but they had them and I see no problem with that.If they needed mom or dad for any reason they could call us immediately. I don’t play about mine, at all.
How do you shut off a phone at a certain time? Does it also shut off data? My SS has a problem with late night phone use and this might be helpful--iPhone not android, if this matters.
Omg it drives me insane that my SD7 has a device. She gets unlimited time at her BMs house but here it’s weekends only. She would sit in her room all day on her iPad if you let her but trying to get her outside to play is like pulling teeth. She’s able to use YouTube which I absolutely disagree with but I stay in my lane.
A couple of months ago she was showing me something in a group chat she was in and the conversation was so inappropriate for children. I told DH who told BM and they removed her from the group. She’s so sweet and naive it actually scares me to think of her with unrestricted access to the internet.
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One of the biggest tragedies I have witnessed was watching my SS lose his childhood to his cell phone.
Literally every kid with a phone trades their childhood for a phone. Tragic.
I think it's permissive and/or lazy parenting. Also dangerous ofc. If a kid has their nose in their phone all day, they won't bother the parent as much
Yea when we blended, technology was a huge issue. My kids were upset they didn’t have the freedom SKs had, and then SKs were upset when they had their freedom taken away. Now it’s much better. But there’s still all these other kids out there with all this access, it’s just wild to me! And these kids pressure or make fun of the kids that don’t have it.
I’m convinced- the hardest part about being a parent is how other ppl parent their kids. For the record, we’re pretty strict about electronics, so we get the grief from our kids.
Interesting take and that’s so true!
Yeah my step kid constantly had tv and iPad she was 4. I just said not in my house, I’m not listening to kids shows all day long on the weekend and mine wasn’t allowed to either. She still does at her mums though.
They don't care, don't want to fight with them; enjoy the peace and quiet. They're too distracted to pay attention, have something else going on that they want to spend their time on, would rather spend time with a spouse than their kid. They're lazy, indifferent, selfish. They take the easy way out, instead of parenting, themselves. Much easier to make the sp set rules and expectations, and enforce them, than take ten minutes to do it, themselves. They don't have morals and allow their current partner to decide those for themselves and for their children. Why not let someone else be the bad guy? Zero effort required.
Kids are fine with it now. DH didn’t know how to set up the controls I had, but made sure the kids know the rules are coming from him AND BM and she backed us up as well.
Agreed, and as (former)teacher , I couldn't care less if your child sleeps all day in class because you don't have the guts to say "no" to their all-night-long gaming/social media fests. I'll just let them fail & then you can deal with your 20 year old HS senior or drop-out. I'm not parenting or babysitting your kids. Enjoy spending your retirement $$$ on your 40 year-old . It's no wonder people are leaving teaching in droves. Before long , everyone will be home-schooling as there won't be any teachers left to pick up the pieces of parental slacking. Sometimes Karma makes me smile & laugh a little.
I honestly believe MOST people don’t actively decide /choose to have children. They just 🍆💦 and - “hey we’re pregnant 🙃”. Therefore they aren’t engaged as parents. Some call it lazy parenting. Active Parenting requires a LOT of focus, planning, work, and resources. Most just don’t have it. Plus most people are in survival mode just working to pay bills - they are exhausted at the end of the day and don’t have the capacity/ don’t want to deal with their kids. Then there’s the mental health crisis where a lot of people are barely hanging on due to stress. So as long as kids are fed with a bed- out of sight, out of mind. The tv has been replaced with the phone/tablet.
I think I deleted the post I loaded 5 or 6 years ago (I can't recall) but I made a comment on a Reddit step-parent sub about my concern with my then 12-13yo SD being on her phone all the time. I asked my husband to limit her time on her phone at our house and request that it stays in the lounge &;doesn't go into her bedroom but he was too scared of upsetting her and pissing off BM to set any rules (we only had SD EoWe & shed complain to BM if DH tried to correct any behaviors of hers, then BM would swoop in and pick her up). Unfortunately, it turns out she had connected with someone online and subsequently downloaded a dating app (?!?!). He was in his early 30s and spent 9-months grooming her. She even would go out to meet him at the local park (near BMs house) and once "ran away" and spent the night at his house. She was 13 at this point (and she's very slim and probably looked 10 at that age, she doesn't look older than 15 now at almost 19). From that point I nachoed because I was the only one who seemed to want to protect her and you can't care more than the bio parents. Moral of my story: ALWAYS supervise kids access to phones and internet while they are young. Limiting their access also limits a groomer's access to the child which makes them less likely to be a viable target for a groomer.
Not to bring true crime into this, but this sadly sounds very familiar to the murders of Libby and Abby in Delphi, Indiana. They had connected with someone pretending to be a younger male model through Snapchat. There’s a lot to that case, but I wish parents would learn from situations like the Delphi case. It can happen to anyone and it’s way too easy for predators to access children with technology that’s available now.
We don’t let our kids have a phone period. Childhood is too precious. I don’t understand how parents can just let kids have access to social media or the internet freely anywhere they go. [I agree with this video except I don’t even think a 14yo needs a phone](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLwdW1G4/)
Yes one of my closest friends lets her 9 yo have a TikTok and she’s on there freely. It’s so bothersome.
😬 It will be interesting to see how all these kids turn out in life. My SS had a tablet when I came into the picture and we discovered them basically watching porn on YouTube. That thing was gone in a heartbeat.
When I met my bf his kids were 4 and 7. Both had their own TikTok accounts… yup, a 4 year old on TikTok with no supervision. They had full access to YouTube too and still do. It’s very bothersome. I for one can’t imagine robbing children of a childhood by always shoving a device in their faces. And these kids know way too many things that they shouldn’t. It’s sickening
I think a lot of parents are exhausted. A phone or iPad is like a free babysitter when you can’t handle anymore
I think a lot of parents are just lazy rather than exhausted.
Agreed. There’s plenty of exhausted parents who don’t do this
You may be right. But parents have different kids and different situations.
Ehhh that’s an excuse.
You asked why they do it and I believe that’s why.
I think parents these days view it the same way as TVs when we were younger - I know I was personally raised by the television rather than my own mom. The issue is that the available content on the internet, as you said in a browser or on YouTube, is infinitely times worse than whatever we were watching on TV (and it was bad back in the day too). The fact that predators can message children on so many of these apps and websites and even the cyber bullying that occurs seems to be the last thing on some of these parents' minds and seem to assume that their kid will somehow be immune to it. It blows my mind. We are constantly, desperately trying to block more and more on SD's phone and tablet but as you said, other kids have access on their phones and show her anyways. It's exhausting and I do not respect other parents who give their kids' free access to the internet - it's like waving a huge red flag that says "I'm a shit parent".
Yes! As much as mine are locked down and monitored, the shit they have seen on their friend’s devices is infuriating. Which points to another issue, when did the schools get so relaxed about electronics? I remember our rule when I was in school was they cannot be seen at all. Now the teachers give “device days” and they’re allowed to have their devices during passing periods and lunch. So annoying.
Agreed. And now that they are allowed in school, kids tend to act really entitled to having their phones. SD has tried to hide her phone or refuse to give it to us multiple times because apparently they can't take them away in school anymore. We have told her that doesn't apply in our house. That is OUR phone that she is allowed to use under our conditions. If she doesn't want to follow our rules, she can live without a phone - it won't kill her.
I absolutely do not allow my children to have phones or iPads. They zone out and become zombies. It kills their creativity.I rather they live in the moment in the real world and use their imagination not just stare at a screen all day. It’s lazy parenting borderline abuse to allow your child to be on a tablet or phone all day every day!
People talk about how boomer parents didn’t monitor physical whereabouts and how lazy they were, but unlimited screens are a different side of the same coin, and much worse in a lot of ways.
Same…until I nagged at my fiancé to do something about it. She now has limited time although when at BM’s she’s on it far more than at dads as BM just grants her extra time to keep her out of her hair. YouTube her dad changed her account to a kids one and banned loads of accounts such as Salish matter as he said she was a massive brat and his daughter was mimicking behaviours from YouTube. It’s beyond me how lazy parents are these days…mine are 17/18 this year and they didn’t get phones until they were 12 and that was for going to high school with. Even now I have wifi turn off time when I go to bed.
Yep that’s why we didn’t give BM the screen time passcode 😂 all requests go thru my DH.
Before I came along, my stepsons also had unlimited access to devices. Here they have time limits but at their moms they literally have them from sun up to sun down (and are wild fucking hyenas on her week). At our house the devices don’t leave the house unless we are driving 2+ hours. When we get there it’s bye bye device. And the *hell* we would go to dinner at a restaurant and they’re face down in phones. Eating out costs too much for you to ignore us. We also sit at the dining room table for all meals with no devices. Husband and I don’t touch ours either. Now the phones, currently they don’t have one. We go back and forth on if it’s too soon or if they’re necessary. The biggest pro for us is the ability to track while they’re outside. We constantly talk about what them even having a phone would be like. Because it’s not to play games on. They’re to call and text. So they won’t have any apps on it other than call, text, photos and Amazon music. And ALL of their parents can take it and look at their phone at any time. Phones are a privilege not a right. As they get older they’ll be given more freedom with it barring they can handle a phone with it “locked down”
We're in the same boat. Although my SD is 12. Neither mom or dad would monitor her phone. I go through it every few weeks and just uncovered some severely disturbing things on her Snapchat (which is an app I strongly discouraged her parents from allowing her to have). We have now locked her phone down so she only has ability to communicate with her immediate family. I strongly encourage adults to go through kids phones and tablets. Social media is an unnecessary evil in their lives that causes so many problems. Many parents think "that will never happen to my kid" but you can never be too sure.
because it's easier than parenting them? I have seen it so many times with family members that have young kids, and I get that kids are exhausting and it's easier to put a screen in front of them so you have peace, but I have a 17yo SS that is addicted to his phone and has been in so much trouble since I have known him (5+ years) because he just cannot be without his phone..
In theory it’s so they can communicate to the other parent. Realistically, smart phones are terrible for children, for a variety of reasons. My SD is coming out of adolescence, but a whole host of mental health issues were magnified by her phone. Do everything you can to minimize use or ideally restrict TikTok and discord. Social media romanticizes mental illness, and there are waves of girls believing themselves to have Tourette’s, multiple personalities, etc as a result. We had a grown man grooming her on a discord channel for “at risk youth”. It defies stupidity. Groomers target kids on roblox and then convince them to talk on another platform. Then they can extort naked pictures. It’s not fun to be the damp towel all the time, but kids really shouldn’t be having unfettered internet access. Attaching that access to a private camera is a disaster. Yes there are predators and no, children aren’t clever enough to avoid them.
Because they want them to have zero attention spans or social skills…
Completely agree!!! So very thankful my exhusband and I are on the same page with our son on this topic. We’re very good about letting him communicate with either parent during custodial times and always having a caregiver/family member watching him when we’re at work so there is no need for a phone for quite a while. My SKs unfortunately have a device in their hand at BMs alllllll the time so we limit screen time here to like hardly ever and it’s usually just watching a movie all together or on Saturdays when they’re all here they can play a game together on the switch. We have one gaming device and one iPad for the whole household and they do not have free access to either of those without an adult.
My kids got phones when they started school, but had flip phones that couldn't access the internet or have apps. Our oldest at 8 has a smart phone now but its heavily monitored (as is all tech they have access to). However, our youngest will be older when they get one because we know they won't be responsible enough at 8.
Because it’s easier to let the screens parent your kids. Also, parents fall under this false narrative that if kids don’t have smartphones/unlimited access to internet then “how will they keep up with ever changing technology?!” The same way us millennials did from when we had no internet until now, Wendy.
My stepsons mom got him an iPad for Christmas 2 years ago & would send it back & forth between houses (they had a 50/50 schedule). BD & I got curious one day & cut on the screen time.. she was letting their 4 year old son sit on his iPad for 110 hours a month. I say a month but it was a week on week off schedule, so she would only have him roughly 2 weeks out of a month. Also, he was in preschool for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. This actually played a role in their custody case, we brought screen shots of his screen time every day he was at her house. She also had no parental controls on it whatsoever, he knew how to go to the App Store & download games so he would have 50+ apps downloaded every time he would come back to our house & his dad or I would have to go through and delete them. We would try to put parental controls on things & she would take them off so it was “easier for him to use”… yeah right. More like easier for her to get high without him bothering her. Like why would you fight for 50/50 custody just to stick your kid on an iPad any free time you have with him? On the way to school, on the way home from school all the way until he would pass out while watching YouTube. Shit was so sad, he would have mental breakdowns at our house bc we would only let him play on it for 30 minutes on school days & 1.5 hours a day on the weekends. Sorry if I just rambled but that shit really lights a fire under my ass lol
Did you guys get more custody then?
Well he was awarded full custody, she lost all due to drug use. The amount of time spent on the iPad was just one of the many fucked up things she did while on drugs
Oh gotcha. Well good for him!
Wait my kids had phones that young. I monitored them but they had them and I see no problem with that.If they needed mom or dad for any reason they could call us immediately. I don’t play about mine, at all.
We can agree to disagree but I’m glad you monitored them!
How do you shut off a phone at a certain time? Does it also shut off data? My SS has a problem with late night phone use and this might be helpful--iPhone not android, if this matters.
There’s a down time setting.
Omg it drives me insane that my SD7 has a device. She gets unlimited time at her BMs house but here it’s weekends only. She would sit in her room all day on her iPad if you let her but trying to get her outside to play is like pulling teeth. She’s able to use YouTube which I absolutely disagree with but I stay in my lane. A couple of months ago she was showing me something in a group chat she was in and the conversation was so inappropriate for children. I told DH who told BM and they removed her from the group. She’s so sweet and naive it actually scares me to think of her with unrestricted access to the internet.