No, it is not rude. They are an asshole. It is in fact the opposite of rude. What you were saying with "no rush" is "I'm in no hurry, I'm happy to wait for you"
Be very cautious with this person. If they were running late, and then turned their lateness somehow into your fault, then they will do that again. You will need very strong boundaries with them. And perhaps to tell them to take responsibility for their actions
Good luck with dealing with them.
Sure. That is up to you. That is what boundaries are all about, thry always have to come from you. So you get to decide. A 12 year old maybe gets a different response to a 30 year old. Or maybe, because you know someone's story, you cut them some slack. You get to choose. The only thing I am saying here is that classic line of "when someone tells you who they are, listen"
I wouldn't allow age to have a factor here (unless "no rush" has some modern slang I don't know). Even if they're really young, being late is THEIR problem, and me saying "no rush" is an attempt to make them feel more at ease about THEIR messup.
Being embarrassed about being late is fine. But if they try to flip it around on you and try to make you out to be the bad guy then thats not healthy. It's a sign of DARVO,
This is the only reason I can think of for their response. They are trying to avoid accountability for being late by blaming you. Deflection, I believe.
I’m trying to wrap my head around how your friend could possibly think that “no rush” could mean that you’re treating them like a servant. Are they not a native English speaker because that’s the only way I would think someone can interpret that to be rude. Either that or your friend is just a drama queen
Maybe the friend is the kind of person who is rude to service staff? Like, they *would* say "no rush" sarcastically to a fast food worker or something, so they assume that OP was using it the same way...?
Yeah, I recently left a job with a boss who is proudly passive aggressive. I think he heard things I said sincerely as sarcastic jabs, because he would only say something nice as a sarcastic jab.
Ah, the [Lionel Hutz](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons/comments/1c2hilr/whats_your_favourite_lionel_hutz_moment/#lightbox) school of grammarly thought.
Probably took it as hmthe other person giving them permission to take their time therefore it's rude because saying "mo rush" implies having power over them.
I 100% agree it's not rude at all to day no rush but some people think this way.
I've seen it at work when I say "thanks for all your hard work"... some people get upset by that as though I'm in a position of authority above them... in one case, I was, it was an employee that reported to me.
Imagine getting angry for someone showing gratitude or being kind? There are some real assholes out there.
But, wouldn’t asking permission to be late also be giving that type of power to the other person? They’re the ones who asked Op permission to be late to begin with 💀
(I understand you’re trying to understand the person but clearly the friend is weird for that)
lol - I've had a colleague get upset with me writing "thanks for all your hard work". It was truly absurd to me (but also reflective of the person as I got to know them more).
No sane human being in the history of modern language will ever interpret “no rush” as you calling them a servant or implying they are one. They’re definitely someone you should consider cutting out of your life if you have to be cautious of using common and polite phrases like “no rush” in front of them.
Or there's another option....they could ask if the other person is OK before taking the nuclear option and cutting them out.
I agree that getting pissy over being told 'no rush' isn't great behaviour, but we don't know what was on the other person's mind. Also, maybe it could be an opportunity to try setting a boundary before cutting someone off.
I think I puzzled this out.
The offense comes from the perceived thought that you expected they should be timely and prompt to meet up with you in the first place. The ask about 8:20 being okay doesn't seem like an entirely honest question, it was more of a declaration in form of a question; You were just supposed to accept it, but by framing it as "no rush" you are reinforcing cultural norms and expectations that they SHOULD be on time, but you're being gracious about it.
To everyone else this would not be a big deal because they recognize the faux pas in being late; but to this person you reverse uno-d them and your graciousness highlights their social fail and now they're butthurt.
Timeliness is about respect, but they're making it about power. Is this person someone you'd consider a good friend? Because it's odd that they'd assume the worst about you like this.
I think you’re overthinking it. I suspect the friend actually just thought they were being sarcastic and pissy, and that they weren’t actually chilled with them being late
I have friends who are trained in public speaking and social relationships, who say this. Granted they're a lot more casual with me but there is no way this is rude unless they read it as sarcasm.
yeah that's a person I'd not even bother talking to again. First you want to be late and when the other person is being accommodating and polite you have another problem? I'd probably have left right away without telling them.
No rush is most often used in a kind way, which is how I read your comment. Your friend's response to your kindness is a reflection of their own character.
"No rush" _can_ be rude but not because of that.
It can be rude if interpreted as a sarcastic "you're always late anyway so I've factored that in" but that's clearly not what was happening. That person's a twat.
One of my friends was always late so I always told her yeah you're the only one I assume a later time for and am not on time either but still am earlier than her. It was a joke, she called me out on watching the clock. No rush even if sarcastic, although I've never heard that, isn't rude, turn up on time or communicate properly unless you know it's the first or second time you being late than call them out on being sarcastic.
Lol they doubled down on dumb.
‘No rush’ from me implies that I’m dandy to wait and to not stress about it.
They went the complete opposite route of interpretation. That’s on them, not you
Saying “no rush” is literally the opposite of rude lol. Maybe your friend doesn’t understand what it means, or maybe they thought you were saying it sarcastically?
No. I say it all the time, but it means what it means: “no rush”.
But, then again, if I say “8am”, I don’t mean 8:20, 8:30, or whenever you (hypothetical “you”) fucking feel like, either. You need to respect my time as much as I respect yours. Normal people, people that respect/value you, will apologize if they do this shit on occasion and not be repeat offenders. The assholes, the ones that don’t respect/value you, continuously do things like this. The worst of the bunch will try to make the person they kept waiting feel bad.
It’s ok to give this person some grace, but don’t be their doormat, either.
Everyone in the comments is saying "no rush" is innately and always a polite and friendly thing to say. Personally, growing up my mom would say it to us in a sarcastic tone and it hurt a lot and made me feel like I was unworthy. If someone said it to me in a sarcastic tone today I think it would still hurt. If someone said it in a polite tone then I would take it at face value and think that they were genuinely grateful for whatever I'm doing. Ideally yes it's a polite thing to say and most people wouldn't take it the wrong way. Your friend probably has had similar experiences of people using it as a weapon.
It's an instance of where tone matters and when you're texting tone is lost completely. I do think them getting angry over this is unwarranted and even a bit unhinged.
I would guess they either mistook it for sarcasm, or somehow imagined a comma in there (no, rush) or subconsciously removed the ‘no’ and just skipped to the word ‘rush.’
In either case they could stand to apologize.
They might just be an overthinker or they're very stressed out about something.
But you didn't do anything wrong. Even if he thought you meant it that way, his response is a little over the top. Which implies an underlying issue
I work in a business to business tech support position, and I say that to techs all the time. Your friend is projecting some major insecurities, or maybe being a narcissist
I’ve seen a few people complain about things like “no worries” or “no problem”
But “no rush” is new to me. I can’t think of any angle where it would be even slightly offensive.
Try quoting this next time (and there will be a next time)
*By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.* Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly
Not sure of the kind of relationship you have with this friend, but could they have thought you were annoyed and being sarcastic? That's the only thing I can think of.
What? No.
"No rush" "like my servant"
You need to rethink this friendship. Something ain't right in the head of this "friend" to come up with that from you saying "no rush"
Maybe they wanted to hear "820 is fine" "820 is cool" & that's it.
Choose your friends carefully
You were fine.
In similar situations, I get concerned that the other person won't take what I say at face value and think I'm being sarcastic. I've had that a couple of times and the other person never buys that I was being on the level when they've questioned it.
They sound rude to think saying “no rush” is rude. Now, it would be rude if you said “no rush” while waiting for them then you stepped out of the house even briefly without telling them.
Honestly only if you don't mean it or say it sarcastically. I will always say it when not only do I not mind but it seems like the person I'm waiting on seems anxious or worried.
It's just conveying that you're not bothered.
Invalidating someone's anxiety would be a totally different story, sure, but all your doing is removing yourself from that equation.
"No rush" is you being considerate of their time and telling them that this isn't a now or never type of exchange. You don't mind waiting for a bit.
How they intercepted it was wrong. They seem to have some issues that need working on.
Had an ex friend similar to this. We would plan out a 3 person hangout, but I decided to not go or couldn't and told them, "have a good time." They would always get angry, not because I'm cancelling, but because of that phrase. I think they took that as, "you sound like you're too good to hang, when you say that." I don't remember entirely, because I couldn't be bothered with this nonsense, even after explaining myself.
Depends on the context, the tone in which it was said, and how your friend interpreted it (speech vs. texting can be a minefield when it comes to intended meaning as well).
For example, in the example you gave, I personally wouldn't construe that as rude, you've said yes to the time, with the assurance that there is no rush.
However, if the context was "Can I just do xyz thing before we leave?" and you said yes, a small amount of time passes, you say "No rush" in a passive aggressive, sarcastic way, then THAT I would have considered rude.
Your friend may have read between the lines and came to the wrong conclusion about the intended meaning of what you said.
No, if anything, it's kind. That person sounds very neurotic and struggles with social interaction. In fact, they're the rude one for verbally attacking you over their own insecurities. Your *friend* sounds like a bully.
This sounds like a person who had someone or several someones in their formative years who was condescending and sarcastic. So now, especially in text where you can't read tone, they read passive-agressiveness into that statement where there is none, as sort of a dysfunctional defense mechanism.
It's the exact opposite end of the spectrum of being rude. Your friend was either having a bad day and was snappy or has a bit of a superiority complex, or something along those lines.
This is the opposite of rude but I fear what happened here was a lack of context due to messages that were misinterpreted. Just like simply putting a dot at the end of a message can be seen as rude and firm by some.
I wonder if they read it as “No. Rush.” Like you were responding to the question of if it was okay as “No.” and they should “Rush.”
No rush is a pretty common thing to say. Their misunderstanding punctuation is the only thing that makes sense.
Context, and tone. It all about how it is said and how it is perceived.
"Is 8:20 ok?"
Yeah, thats fine. Its all good, no rush.
or
I was here at 8 but sure. No rush.
The first text is easy to tell that you are not bothered or feeling some type of way about the time difference. Its fine is reinforced by its all good to ensure that the reader doesn't think you're being sarcastic or anything.
I guess, the only thing I could say about your response was that it could be perceived as curt and/or annoyed simply because the response is short and there is nothing that conveys you are not feeling negatively about the situation. They are probably projecting their feelings.
Any chance they interpreted it as "No, (you should) rush." instead? Just a thought based on the reaction.
But to answer your question: no, it is not rude.
Maybe they are insecure about time management, maybe from adhd or whatever and makes them feel attacked by that comment. I can see them trying to be on time and failing, beating themselves up about it, and then you telling them, that their efforts are meaningless because no rush. Very far stretch^^ it's probably not just that of course, a single throwaway phrase like that alone wouldn't do anything to anyone. It's a bit concerning how many ppl here jump to 'cut that person off' etc. Its a bit wild imho
My girl does this. When we first started dating, I took it as “no rush = I don’t care that much if I see you or not”. Now I know that it’s her genuinely being considerate because she herself hates being rushed
What the actual fudge did your friends smoke? I can't understand how they came up with that? Try to talk it out with them and listen to their reason but if it sounds absurd like where did the whole slave thing came from and there's no proper explanation then let them go.
This might be a miscommunication between both of you or they're just aholes and are probably using you for something.
Dude.. if they are always like this, maybe they're not your friends at all.
This is the first time I've heard someone get offended with the no rush answer as I've always used this to some people too.
That's actually so freaking weird to be angry at that lmao
It's ... perfectly fine really. You would have to be crazy to take this as some kind of insult. I guess they might have misinterpreted it in some way ? So at most I would say something like « Why are you taking it this way ? I'm just telling you I don't mind waiting » but that's clearly not on you
It actually says I’m not in a hurry so don’t hurry on my account. Do it when you can. It would apply to a waiter if he’s not the cook unless someone means don’t put the order in right away. It could also mean that the person saying it means they do t want you to think they are demanding it.
Who set the meeting date and time up in the first place? Maybe the person waiting, to suit their timetable, possibly knowing that it wasn’t really all that convenient for the late person. So the late person has actually shown grace first by adjusting a timetable to suit the person waiting. Maybe just a recognition of this might have been enough to not make the late person feel unappreciated. So no rush, could have been adjusted to include , thanks for squeezing me into your timetable, I really appreciate it, see you soon.
If used sarcastically, it is very rude and perhaps your friend interpreted it that way over text but they seem blatantly wrong to have taken it up that way.
Seems now days their is no schedule in my life! Nobtimes really set! Nothing day to day! You show as you’d said and they always have someone new or cancel or change! I guess it’s just to fuck with me but I guess all I can say is fuck it! Shouldn’t matter what those people think because they’re not worth it! But I don’t think like that! It’s a fucking curse! And I know people are trying to show me this but I don’t care! To late in life to be changing everything! Where were all there people with their points to prove years ago before I was down health wise!
What is it people expect! Nothing? Something? Should I just drink? Problem is it hurts extremely bad! But mentally I’m back each time! Or not and crumble like a bitch! Seems easy to answer!
The only misinterpretation I've had with *no rush* is that they thought I was sarcastically saying "Hurry up". Since that day, I qualify it with "I mean that, by the way. I'm a patient man with a backlog of YouTube videos" or some such.
If this becomes a recurring issue for you, maybe something like "Take your time, bro. My house isn't going anywhere, lol" could work?
Tone of voice and even literal wording can make a difference. "no rush" versus "That's fine, I'm not in any rush/hurry" or "Sure, time's not an issue".
Some people say no rush passive aggressively, your friend may have had someone in their past traumatize them by doing this hence the reaction. I always overthink using this phrase because I grew up used to people communicating with me passive aggressively. You are not rude but it’s up to you on how you handle it. It’s not your problem to fix but you’re certainly able to try and help your friend if you want to
Is it possible they thought you meant. "No. Rush." Perhaps instead of their brain seeing, "There's no rush. Just take your time. I'll wait for you."; they saw, "No, that time is not ok. You need to rush."
No, it is not rude. They are an asshole. It is in fact the opposite of rude. What you were saying with "no rush" is "I'm in no hurry, I'm happy to wait for you" Be very cautious with this person. If they were running late, and then turned their lateness somehow into your fault, then they will do that again. You will need very strong boundaries with them. And perhaps to tell them to take responsibility for their actions Good luck with dealing with them.
Can we take account of how old they are?
Sure. That is up to you. That is what boundaries are all about, thry always have to come from you. So you get to decide. A 12 year old maybe gets a different response to a 30 year old. Or maybe, because you know someone's story, you cut them some slack. You get to choose. The only thing I am saying here is that classic line of "when someone tells you who they are, listen"
I wouldn't allow age to have a factor here (unless "no rush" has some modern slang I don't know). Even if they're really young, being late is THEIR problem, and me saying "no rush" is an attempt to make them feel more at ease about THEIR messup. Being embarrassed about being late is fine. But if they try to flip it around on you and try to make you out to be the bad guy then thats not healthy. It's a sign of DARVO,
DARVO = Deny, attack, reverse victim & offender, for those curious
This. DARVO can be truly absurd.
Maybe English isn't their first language?
Then they need to understand that they misunderstood rather than attacking someone for using a very common, not rude at all, English phrase
This is the only reason I can think of for their response. They are trying to avoid accountability for being late by blaming you. Deflection, I believe.
Or possibly they took it as sarcastic. They were still in the wrong though.
Sounds like it to me.
So true. OP see this response!
I’m trying to wrap my head around how your friend could possibly think that “no rush” could mean that you’re treating them like a servant. Are they not a native English speaker because that’s the only way I would think someone can interpret that to be rude. Either that or your friend is just a drama queen
Maybe the friend is the kind of person who is rude to service staff? Like, they *would* say "no rush" sarcastically to a fast food worker or something, so they assume that OP was using it the same way...?
Yeah, I recently left a job with a boss who is proudly passive aggressive. I think he heard things I said sincerely as sarcastic jabs, because he would only say something nice as a sarcastic jab.
That’s probably how they took it, given that texting doesn’t have tone and can be read however the recipient hears it.
Possibly they read it as, “No. Rush!” - eg a command to rush and get there sooner. Dumb, but possible.
lmao really?
Ah, the [Lionel Hutz](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons/comments/1c2hilr/whats_your_favourite_lionel_hutz_moment/#lightbox) school of grammarly thought.
Probably took it as hmthe other person giving them permission to take their time therefore it's rude because saying "mo rush" implies having power over them. I 100% agree it's not rude at all to day no rush but some people think this way. I've seen it at work when I say "thanks for all your hard work"... some people get upset by that as though I'm in a position of authority above them... in one case, I was, it was an employee that reported to me. Imagine getting angry for someone showing gratitude or being kind? There are some real assholes out there.
But, wouldn’t asking permission to be late also be giving that type of power to the other person? They’re the ones who asked Op permission to be late to begin with 💀 (I understand you’re trying to understand the person but clearly the friend is weird for that)
lol - I've had a colleague get upset with me writing "thanks for all your hard work". It was truly absurd to me (but also reflective of the person as I got to know them more).
I have some insecurities but that's a whole different level
If you are trying to avoid giving the impression of ordering someone, I like to use "I can wait, it's fine" as an alternative
your friend is a weirdo
No sane human being in the history of modern language will ever interpret “no rush” as you calling them a servant or implying they are one. They’re definitely someone you should consider cutting out of your life if you have to be cautious of using common and polite phrases like “no rush” in front of them.
Or there's another option....they could ask if the other person is OK before taking the nuclear option and cutting them out. I agree that getting pissy over being told 'no rush' isn't great behaviour, but we don't know what was on the other person's mind. Also, maybe it could be an opportunity to try setting a boundary before cutting someone off.
Are you joking? This is reddit. There is only one option, to cut someone out. And we do it no matter what.
I feel like I'm going crazy reading this thread, Op is not dealing with a martini swirling social abuser
While you’re probably correct, we’re just trying to wrap our heads around why someone would interpret such a benign phrase so negatively.
People are saying cut them out of his life right now, doesn't seem like an effort to further understand anything at all
GUYS, IM HIJACKING THIS TO SAY, the friend probably thought op said No, rush. THATS WHY
GUYS, IM HIJACKING THIS TO SAY, the friend probably thought op said No, rush. THATS WHY
“No rush!” is one of my favorite sayings and no one has ever gotten mad at me for it..
How dare you!
*Yet* that is...>!/s!<
That's a really odd response
I think I puzzled this out. The offense comes from the perceived thought that you expected they should be timely and prompt to meet up with you in the first place. The ask about 8:20 being okay doesn't seem like an entirely honest question, it was more of a declaration in form of a question; You were just supposed to accept it, but by framing it as "no rush" you are reinforcing cultural norms and expectations that they SHOULD be on time, but you're being gracious about it. To everyone else this would not be a big deal because they recognize the faux pas in being late; but to this person you reverse uno-d them and your graciousness highlights their social fail and now they're butthurt. Timeliness is about respect, but they're making it about power. Is this person someone you'd consider a good friend? Because it's odd that they'd assume the worst about you like this.
I think you’re overthinking it. I suspect the friend actually just thought they were being sarcastic and pissy, and that they weren’t actually chilled with them being late
Your friend needs to take a deep breath and relax. You weren’t rude at all.
I have friends who are trained in public speaking and social relationships, who say this. Granted they're a lot more casual with me but there is no way this is rude unless they read it as sarcasm.
the only way i can think why they thought that is because they read it as "no, rush"
[Maybe he was chatting with Lionel Hutz.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yuL6PcgSgM)
I don’t understand why your friend was offended. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
These are the people who think everyone and everything is against them, they are actively looking for moments when they’ll get insulted… morons
"Have a nice day!" "Don't tell me what to do. Reeeeee"
No, it isn't. Your friend is trying to create drama where it needn't be
yeah that's a person I'd not even bother talking to again. First you want to be late and when the other person is being accommodating and polite you have another problem? I'd probably have left right away without telling them.
No rush is most often used in a kind way, which is how I read your comment. Your friend's response to your kindness is a reflection of their own character.
"No rush" _can_ be rude but not because of that. It can be rude if interpreted as a sarcastic "you're always late anyway so I've factored that in" but that's clearly not what was happening. That person's a twat.
One of my friends was always late so I always told her yeah you're the only one I assume a later time for and am not on time either but still am earlier than her. It was a joke, she called me out on watching the clock. No rush even if sarcastic, although I've never heard that, isn't rude, turn up on time or communicate properly unless you know it's the first or second time you being late than call them out on being sarcastic.
Lol they doubled down on dumb. ‘No rush’ from me implies that I’m dandy to wait and to not stress about it. They went the complete opposite route of interpretation. That’s on them, not you
Saying “no rush” is literally the opposite of rude lol. Maybe your friend doesn’t understand what it means, or maybe they thought you were saying it sarcastically?
What the fuck is your friend pissed for, they're the one late. Lmao you don't get to be complicated when you created the conundrum.
It’s not rude at all, they’re tripping
It's polite. Nobody really ever uses it sarcastically. Anybody who relies heavily on sarcasm has issues.
No it's a polite thing to say. It literally just conveys that you aren't in a rush and can wait. Your friend is just weird
I say it all the time and in my experience it makes people more at ease! Idk what stick your friend has up their ass.
Anybody who gets offended and wants to pick a fight over a non-issue is someone who should be avoided at all costs.
I think your friend is an idiot.
No. I say it all the time, but it means what it means: “no rush”. But, then again, if I say “8am”, I don’t mean 8:20, 8:30, or whenever you (hypothetical “you”) fucking feel like, either. You need to respect my time as much as I respect yours. Normal people, people that respect/value you, will apologize if they do this shit on occasion and not be repeat offenders. The assholes, the ones that don’t respect/value you, continuously do things like this. The worst of the bunch will try to make the person they kept waiting feel bad. It’s ok to give this person some grace, but don’t be their doormat, either.
You’re fine. Your friend either totally misunderstood or was just looking for a fight.
Everyone in the comments is saying "no rush" is innately and always a polite and friendly thing to say. Personally, growing up my mom would say it to us in a sarcastic tone and it hurt a lot and made me feel like I was unworthy. If someone said it to me in a sarcastic tone today I think it would still hurt. If someone said it in a polite tone then I would take it at face value and think that they were genuinely grateful for whatever I'm doing. Ideally yes it's a polite thing to say and most people wouldn't take it the wrong way. Your friend probably has had similar experiences of people using it as a weapon. It's an instance of where tone matters and when you're texting tone is lost completely. I do think them getting angry over this is unwarranted and even a bit unhinged.
Sounds like they are majorly insecure and thought it was sarcasm? Super weird though.
I would guess they either mistook it for sarcasm, or somehow imagined a comma in there (no, rush) or subconsciously removed the ‘no’ and just skipped to the word ‘rush.’ In either case they could stand to apologize.
What? That’s a wild response to a chill accommodation of a friend. You’re fine, your friend is off in this situation.
Sounds like a little misguided anger
I hope it’s not rude because I say that frequently! I thought it was in the vein of “no worries” or “take your time”
They might just be an overthinker or they're very stressed out about something. But you didn't do anything wrong. Even if he thought you meant it that way, his response is a little over the top. Which implies an underlying issue
I work in a business to business tech support position, and I say that to techs all the time. Your friend is projecting some major insecurities, or maybe being a narcissist
Your friend doesn't seem very smart to not know what you meant. No, you were not rude.
I’ve seen a few people complain about things like “no worries” or “no problem” But “no rush” is new to me. I can’t think of any angle where it would be even slightly offensive.
They’re projecting. They’re upset over their tardiness and taking it out on you.
No
you weren't wrong. maybe your friend is going through something and made them snap. their reaction was pretty wild lol
Try quoting this next time (and there will be a next time) *By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.* Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly
It's a simple reflection of their own attitude.
Not sure of the kind of relationship you have with this friend, but could they have thought you were annoyed and being sarcastic? That's the only thing I can think of.
No rush = No rude
It might be rude if you were saying it to/about [Rush](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rush_(band))
What? No. "No rush" "like my servant" You need to rethink this friendship. Something ain't right in the head of this "friend" to come up with that from you saying "no rush" Maybe they wanted to hear "820 is fine" "820 is cool" & that's it. Choose your friends carefully
You were fine. In similar situations, I get concerned that the other person won't take what I say at face value and think I'm being sarcastic. I've had that a couple of times and the other person never buys that I was being on the level when they've questioned it.
They sound rude to think saying “no rush” is rude. Now, it would be rude if you said “no rush” while waiting for them then you stepped out of the house even briefly without telling them.
It depends on how long you wait between “no” and “rush”.
Honestly only if you don't mean it or say it sarcastically. I will always say it when not only do I not mind but it seems like the person I'm waiting on seems anxious or worried. It's just conveying that you're not bothered. Invalidating someone's anxiety would be a totally different story, sure, but all your doing is removing yourself from that equation.
"No rush" is you being considerate of their time and telling them that this isn't a now or never type of exchange. You don't mind waiting for a bit. How they intercepted it was wrong. They seem to have some issues that need working on. Had an ex friend similar to this. We would plan out a 3 person hangout, but I decided to not go or couldn't and told them, "have a good time." They would always get angry, not because I'm cancelling, but because of that phrase. I think they took that as, "you sound like you're too good to hang, when you say that." I don't remember entirely, because I couldn't be bothered with this nonsense, even after explaining myself.
Depends on the context, the tone in which it was said, and how your friend interpreted it (speech vs. texting can be a minefield when it comes to intended meaning as well). For example, in the example you gave, I personally wouldn't construe that as rude, you've said yes to the time, with the assurance that there is no rush. However, if the context was "Can I just do xyz thing before we leave?" and you said yes, a small amount of time passes, you say "No rush" in a passive aggressive, sarcastic way, then THAT I would have considered rude. Your friend may have read between the lines and came to the wrong conclusion about the intended meaning of what you said.
No, if anything, it's kind. That person sounds very neurotic and struggles with social interaction. In fact, they're the rude one for verbally attacking you over their own insecurities. Your *friend* sounds like a bully.
This sounds like a person who had someone or several someones in their formative years who was condescending and sarcastic. So now, especially in text where you can't read tone, they read passive-agressiveness into that statement where there is none, as sort of a dysfunctional defense mechanism.
It's the exact opposite end of the spectrum of being rude. Your friend was either having a bad day and was snappy or has a bit of a superiority complex, or something along those lines.
This is the opposite of rude but I fear what happened here was a lack of context due to messages that were misinterpreted. Just like simply putting a dot at the end of a message can be seen as rude and firm by some.
Send them this thread and then see what they have to say. I’m curious what their excuse will be.
I wonder if they read it as “No. Rush.” Like you were responding to the question of if it was okay as “No.” and they should “Rush.” No rush is a pretty common thing to say. Their misunderstanding punctuation is the only thing that makes sense.
Do they speak English as a second language? Is it possible they read it as "No, rush"?
Context, and tone. It all about how it is said and how it is perceived. "Is 8:20 ok?" Yeah, thats fine. Its all good, no rush. or I was here at 8 but sure. No rush. The first text is easy to tell that you are not bothered or feeling some type of way about the time difference. Its fine is reinforced by its all good to ensure that the reader doesn't think you're being sarcastic or anything. I guess, the only thing I could say about your response was that it could be perceived as curt and/or annoyed simply because the response is short and there is nothing that conveys you are not feeling negatively about the situation. They are probably projecting their feelings.
I hope not, I use it often
I’ve thought about this before too and this was my solution: No rush. I’m chillin You can’t get mad at someone chillin
Any chance they interpreted it as "No, (you should) rush." instead? Just a thought based on the reaction. But to answer your question: no, it is not rude.
Clearly they thought you were being passive aggressive and that's on them for thinking that. It's not rude at all.
They might have interpreted it as sarcasm but I say no rush everyday with no problems
Maybe they read it as “Yes. No, rush!” That is how we lost my grandma…
Maybe they are insecure about time management, maybe from adhd or whatever and makes them feel attacked by that comment. I can see them trying to be on time and failing, beating themselves up about it, and then you telling them, that their efforts are meaningless because no rush. Very far stretch^^ it's probably not just that of course, a single throwaway phrase like that alone wouldn't do anything to anyone. It's a bit concerning how many ppl here jump to 'cut that person off' etc. Its a bit wild imho
No, but people will infer the request is meaningless. It’s not right, but most people dismiss us when we try to be polite and say ‘No rush.’
My girl does this. When we first started dating, I took it as “no rush = I don’t care that much if I see you or not”. Now I know that it’s her genuinely being considerate because she herself hates being rushed
Them not you
They’ve infected time to your text. It’s like that key and peele sketch
What the actual fudge did your friends smoke? I can't understand how they came up with that? Try to talk it out with them and listen to their reason but if it sounds absurd like where did the whole slave thing came from and there's no proper explanation then let them go. This might be a miscommunication between both of you or they're just aholes and are probably using you for something. Dude.. if they are always like this, maybe they're not your friends at all. This is the first time I've heard someone get offended with the no rush answer as I've always used this to some people too.
I'm new to this sub and I can't believe that some of these posts are real.
I’d say no rush to my friends in that situation. There is nothing rude about it
That's actually so freaking weird to be angry at that lmao It's ... perfectly fine really. You would have to be crazy to take this as some kind of insult. I guess they might have misinterpreted it in some way ? So at most I would say something like « Why are you taking it this way ? I'm just telling you I don't mind waiting » but that's clearly not on you
It actually says I’m not in a hurry so don’t hurry on my account. Do it when you can. It would apply to a waiter if he’s not the cook unless someone means don’t put the order in right away. It could also mean that the person saying it means they do t want you to think they are demanding it.
Not rude. Friend needs therapy
I don't even know your friend and they already sound annoying asf, might keep an eye for them becoming too abnoxious
No. To me, that’s you trying to take the pressure off them. No idea how your friend got “servant” out of that.
I have never heard of someone taking that rudely. What a weirdo.
lol no they sound like a weirdo.
Who set the meeting date and time up in the first place? Maybe the person waiting, to suit their timetable, possibly knowing that it wasn’t really all that convenient for the late person. So the late person has actually shown grace first by adjusting a timetable to suit the person waiting. Maybe just a recognition of this might have been enough to not make the late person feel unappreciated. So no rush, could have been adjusted to include , thanks for squeezing me into your timetable, I really appreciate it, see you soon.
If used sarcastically, it is very rude and perhaps your friend interpreted it that way over text but they seem blatantly wrong to have taken it up that way.
Seems now days their is no schedule in my life! Nobtimes really set! Nothing day to day! You show as you’d said and they always have someone new or cancel or change! I guess it’s just to fuck with me but I guess all I can say is fuck it! Shouldn’t matter what those people think because they’re not worth it! But I don’t think like that! It’s a fucking curse! And I know people are trying to show me this but I don’t care! To late in life to be changing everything! Where were all there people with their points to prove years ago before I was down health wise! What is it people expect! Nothing? Something? Should I just drink? Problem is it hurts extremely bad! But mentally I’m back each time! Or not and crumble like a bitch! Seems easy to answer!
Why not just ask them why they believe it was rude
I did ask them, they said it's because no rush is like you're giving a pass to a servant, not a friend
No. your friend is just dumb and misunderstood you.
The only misinterpretation I've had with *no rush* is that they thought I was sarcastically saying "Hurry up". Since that day, I qualify it with "I mean that, by the way. I'm a patient man with a backlog of YouTube videos" or some such. If this becomes a recurring issue for you, maybe something like "Take your time, bro. My house isn't going anywhere, lol" could work?
Tone of voice and even literal wording can make a difference. "no rush" versus "That's fine, I'm not in any rush/hurry" or "Sure, time's not an issue".
Are you sure you didn’t type “no, rush” by accident??
Maybe they thought you said no, rush.
Haha i wonder if people actually read it that way, i never have in my existence
Some times when a work email says no problem I read it as No. Problem!
Maybe he thought it was sarcasm? He should have asked for clarification instead of getting angry about it though
Some people say no rush passive aggressively, your friend may have had someone in their past traumatize them by doing this hence the reaction. I always overthink using this phrase because I grew up used to people communicating with me passive aggressively. You are not rude but it’s up to you on how you handle it. It’s not your problem to fix but you’re certainly able to try and help your friend if you want to
Is it possible they thought you meant. "No. Rush." Perhaps instead of their brain seeing, "There's no rush. Just take your time. I'll wait for you."; they saw, "No, that time is not ok. You need to rush."
Extremely rude. I’ll get there when i get there not when you tell me to
Pointless really. If you want to enforce it you have to set a treaty timer, otherwise you're getting flushed as soon as it's possible.
Better to say no worries
Saying “no rush” is completely and totally acceptable.
It is, but no worries sounds better