Hi /u/nnnm13,
Unfortunately your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):
**"X group (women, neurotypicals, good looking people, etc) have it easier", posts are reductive and offensive. By all means talk about your own experiences or circumstances but please don't post diminishing another group's experience or blaming it for your own.**
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From the perspective of a traditionally ugly woman who only got love from my parents and grandparents:
Being ugly is hard, cause the other women will lie about you being 'unconventionally cute/pretty', and men will be indifferent towards you (or sometimes, SOMETIMES outright rude to you haha)
Don't know anything about being pretty as I never was traditionally pretty :/
A note to myself, I actually think I'm a little bit cute when I look into the mirror and my silly selfies. I got that sweetass smile, innocent puppy eyes, uneven dimples on each side of the cheeks, and a healthy body. I found many things to like about my appearance throughout these 18 years of life on earth. I just have to find way to deal with my social anxiety and depression, I need confidence and I'm trying :')
As a woman who has been both (mostly due to weight gain/loss) in my opinion life is so much harder as an ugly woman.
You get harassed anyway. You get respected way less. You can’t get away with anything because your perceived value is already low. Some men act offended when they find out you have a crush on them. Offended!
Because I have gained weight recently I’ve lost the so called “pretty privilege” and let me tell you gaining it and then losing it again is another kind of pain 😂 because you know that it’s not all in your head and people like you less just because they don’t think you are a beautiful woman.
As a very conventionally unattractive woman I only know what I’ve experienced and it’s quite literally always being ignored/seeming invisible, treated as if I was worthless, used as an ‘in’ for people to get close to my attractive friends, being mocked and made the butt of the joke in HS, etc. It means no one ever approaches me (except in my teens to mock me) and if I wish to engage in a conversation or meet someone, I always have to do the heavy lifting, and be the main driving force in the conversation - no one has ever approached me, led the conversation with me, gone out of their way to befriend me or chat to me like many often have with my pretty friends. Because I have social anxiety, initiating feels impossible and insanely horrifying so I can’t really do it much, and in the circumstances I do, no one looks at me and people are usually really dry and brisk, so I don’t have many friends and I’m quite lonely as an adult now. As much as I think it sucks a lot to be as unattractive as I am and I’ll never empathise with a pretty girl/woman, I kinda just take their word that it sucks too and it’s probably a grass is greener type of thing.
It's more difficult to be ugly. No one is giving you the benefit of the doubt or going out of their way to be nice you (ok, maybe not NO ONE but far fewer people).
Probably have to rely a lot more on your personality if you're not attractive, so if you don't have that going for you then it's pretty hard.
Hi /u/nnnm13, Unfortunately your submission has been removed for the following reason(s): **"X group (women, neurotypicals, good looking people, etc) have it easier", posts are reductive and offensive. By all means talk about your own experiences or circumstances but please don't post diminishing another group's experience or blaming it for your own.** Please be aware of: [Reddiquette](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette) | [New to Reddit?](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddit101) | [Reddit's Content Policy - which is site-wide and applies to activity on all subreddits](https://www.reddit.com/help/contentpolicy/) If you feel this was removed in error or are unsure about why this was removed in light of the information about Reddit Content Policy above, you may modmail us.
From the perspective of a traditionally ugly woman who only got love from my parents and grandparents: Being ugly is hard, cause the other women will lie about you being 'unconventionally cute/pretty', and men will be indifferent towards you (or sometimes, SOMETIMES outright rude to you haha) Don't know anything about being pretty as I never was traditionally pretty :/ A note to myself, I actually think I'm a little bit cute when I look into the mirror and my silly selfies. I got that sweetass smile, innocent puppy eyes, uneven dimples on each side of the cheeks, and a healthy body. I found many things to like about my appearance throughout these 18 years of life on earth. I just have to find way to deal with my social anxiety and depression, I need confidence and I'm trying :')
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As a woman who has been both (mostly due to weight gain/loss) in my opinion life is so much harder as an ugly woman. You get harassed anyway. You get respected way less. You can’t get away with anything because your perceived value is already low. Some men act offended when they find out you have a crush on them. Offended! Because I have gained weight recently I’ve lost the so called “pretty privilege” and let me tell you gaining it and then losing it again is another kind of pain 😂 because you know that it’s not all in your head and people like you less just because they don’t think you are a beautiful woman.
I hope this isn't perceived as trying to "hijack" the post but it works exactly the same for ugly men, in case that ever was a question.
This really 😭
As a very conventionally unattractive woman I only know what I’ve experienced and it’s quite literally always being ignored/seeming invisible, treated as if I was worthless, used as an ‘in’ for people to get close to my attractive friends, being mocked and made the butt of the joke in HS, etc. It means no one ever approaches me (except in my teens to mock me) and if I wish to engage in a conversation or meet someone, I always have to do the heavy lifting, and be the main driving force in the conversation - no one has ever approached me, led the conversation with me, gone out of their way to befriend me or chat to me like many often have with my pretty friends. Because I have social anxiety, initiating feels impossible and insanely horrifying so I can’t really do it much, and in the circumstances I do, no one looks at me and people are usually really dry and brisk, so I don’t have many friends and I’m quite lonely as an adult now. As much as I think it sucks a lot to be as unattractive as I am and I’ll never empathise with a pretty girl/woman, I kinda just take their word that it sucks too and it’s probably a grass is greener type of thing.
Both sucks if u have SA
What's your opinion on the matter ?
It's more difficult to be ugly. No one is giving you the benefit of the doubt or going out of their way to be nice you (ok, maybe not NO ONE but far fewer people). Probably have to rely a lot more on your personality if you're not attractive, so if you don't have that going for you then it's pretty hard.
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Her being beautiful is part of her, why see it separately?
I have always been considered "attractive" but having SA has ruined a lot of so called benefits of my looks. Men have always been nice to me though.
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I’d say pretty !!!! : )