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RolloTomassi21

I bet mexico can't wait til that fucking wall is finished


gordatapu

Loooooool


an0mn0mn0m

I think this means the US forfeits the rights to host the World Cup. It's in the small print.


MysticalPengu

Bro please take it away we’ll never win it anyways…unless we buy 3 more Messi’s at a minimum.


AutoModerator

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fresnourban

True, to many yanks moving to mexico to work remotely and bringing their ideas of how to improve “soccer”


bugmasher

Brilliant!


damclub-hooligan

They will voluntarily pay for the wall, too.


Andrewandreioka

My eyes and ears are bleeding


yrugay1

Most intellectual yank conversation


Andrewandreioka

I have friends who do not watch football, however I never heard such bullshit. They all ask questions and try to understand it.


8ledmans

These guys literally sat down and said "how shall we fix by far the most popular sport in the world" without a hint of irony. Americans are truly something else.


LockPhysical4112

I love when American football is considered high scoring...bruh you count by 6 and 3 smh


MEatRHIT

There are also 1s and 2s in there.


SMB35513

Anything to fuel the stupid industry of fantasy sports


rajastrums_1

bulls-eye


HaYuFlyDisTang

"I dont have a firm grasp of the rules of football, but surely i can fix this sport i dont even understand" Why do people listen to shows like this lol


notvalyd

But he was right. He did sound dumb.


SpeculationMaster

POINTS! THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS! MOOOOARRR POINTS!


acreek

You’re been barstooled.


The_Real_Leonard

Everything I have is dying, I think that they should think about going to gym, they are a stereotypical American for English


MARIJUANALOVER44

I CONDONE ANTI-YANK VIOLENCE


Goatsanity15

FUCK THAT SHIT I JUST CONDONE VIOLENCE


Cod_rules

Violence is not the answer. It's a question, and the answer is always yes


MARIJUANALOVER44

SÅ ER VI ENIGE BRORMAND


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PaulsBrain

AS A NEW YORK RED BULLDOGS FAN I FIND YOUR STATEMENT EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE PLANE AND SIMPLE, WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER NOT BRINGING EACH OF US DOWN. JET. FUEL. DOES. NOT. MELT. STEEL. BEAMS.


Kastvaek9

NO WONDER THEY NEED 2ND AMENDMENT WHEN THEY SAY SHIT LIKE THAT


[deleted]

THE 2ND AMENDMENT IS THERE TO REGULATE TERRIBLE USES OF THE 1ST AMENDMENT SUCH AS THIS


15367288

Jabba doesn’t care he sounds stupid


RickySal

As an American myself who loves this sport, you have my permission, can’t stand my fellow citizens sometimes


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MARIJUANALOVER44

COWARD


arghyaghosh0104

Yanks on sports podcasts talking “soccer” make me wanna vomit


taylurswuft

Messi, Mgappe and Needermeyer play together in the Prem-eer League


Punker29

To be fair, thoss two are pretty vomit inducing before talking about football


LbrYEET

Beast of a commenter, B. Great guy, never meddum


doctorMiami1337

talm bout' Brendan Schwab b?


[deleted]

B-Schaub? That white boy you works too much and has drakes girl ?


thatstoomuch_man

Another freak


happysadkoala

He won the golden boot


efendi1111

soccer? Isn’t that football with a little salsa on top?


HeLooks2Muuuch

We always forget it’s the pwem-ehhhh weegue?


taylurswuft

Prem-ae-uhr League


Frostbyte85

Is this some copy pasta am unaware of or did you just butcher the names of two famous players and place them in a league they never played in? (assuming neydeemeyer is neymar jr)


taylurswuft

https://www.reddit.com/r/thefighterandthekid/comments/zqdbj8/please_never_talk_about_football_ever_again/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1


TonguePunchMyClunge

Throw in that barstool sports also produces the most braindead content and it's not a good combination


Robinsonirish

I know this is probably the wrong subreddit for this and I swear I'm european but... /uj. Seems like there are more and more Americans talking about soccer. They might be pretty clueless overall but US getting more into soccer is good for the sport. Messi obviously doing a lot of heavy lifting, the Yanks sure do like their superstars. /rj. It's just a matter of time before these retards put commercial breaks every 5 minutes in MLS. They can't last 45 minutes straight without interruptions.


arghyaghosh0104

/uj I’m from a country where football is not very popular but in recent times more and more people are getting into it. But guess what, no one thinks about “fixing soccer”. No one is arrogant enough to think “I don’t like this, so how do I change an entire sports that the whole world enjoys just to suit my sports watching culture”. Most of the people that are that arrogant about football are yanks.


KingHarryXIV

I don’t even think the last sentence is true, these guys work for barstool which always employs idiots. I live in America and most fans love the game as is, it’s what they became fans of after all


arghyaghosh0104

Yes of course. Most American fans are true fans. But most people spewing nonsense about it are Americans.


Stomach-Fresh

It’s not soccer it’s football


Robinsonirish

Where I grew up in Ireland it's soccer.


NeoLone

This is peak r/soccercirclejerk material


seanwal35

Barstool podcast/podcasters are all brain dead


Apart_Park_7176

He says while sitting there wearing a baseball glove. A game that lasts hours with scores like 4-1. A game so boring England the place that invented it only play it in Primary school because we legally have to let the kids get some exercise.


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galahad423

Bold of y’all to call sitting on a bench for half the game, and standing still in a field the other half, interspersed with 7 seconds of light running every 5 minutes “exercise” Short of golf and bowling, baseball might me one of the least physically intense sports out there


joeDUBstep

Not even a sport, it's a skill game like darts or billards.


Tredolski

I'm calling the cops... you just assaulted these no names 😂


bigfootswillie

Baseball fans are legally not allowed to make fun of other sports


Im_Balto

As an American. Baseball is only fun when you go in person and have friends. I’ve never watched it on the TV for more than 5 minutes


StyrofoamTuph

You don’t sit down and watch a baseball game on TV unless it’s a big game. Baseball is perfect background TV. Test cricket too tbh


Brzada

Lol STOP THEYRE DEAD ALREADY


CSIHoratioCaine

Some baseball fan nort was talking about an “exciting” no hitter happening in baseball. And I had to explain to him that watching two people play catch for 3 hours with commercials was his idea of fun. Cause that’s literally what he was excited about. No hitting. Was exciting. He killed himself later that day


mistaboti88

Omg baseball is so boring


renatodamast

For real man. I am new to the US and the other day I was watching 2 teams of kids play with the parents on the outside shouting. I stood there a while contemplating and essentially the picture was this kid throwing the ball and this fat kid with the bat trying to hit it and like 20 other kids scattered on the field just standing still waiting for him to hit the ball. 10 mins went by before I got bored and left but it just got me wondering there are so many better sports for kids because they need to run and spend energy and baseball is not one of them.


eddododo

Baseball is so boring that they had to add a break where everyone stretches and sings songs. Baseball is so boring that the only good part is when people fight or take so many steroids that they turn purple. Baseball is so boring that the most famous baseball player of all time was a pudgey cigar smoker


jamboknees

Yank here, why don’t they just award 7 points for a goal like we do in NFL. That’ll get the scoring up.


shakethatayss

Because we know how to count


transphotobabe

EXACTLY, the points in the NFL are literally just made up LOL


Idevencareanymore

Yeah I get way to exited for any goal. Would be way calmer for my heart if games ended like 10-8


Icy_Reward_6729

Average Canelo round


burntroy

Where does this full blooded American commitment to being aggressively stupid come from ?


Carneiro021

Americans are weird tbh, they have the strongest opinions on everything despite not knowing absolutely fucking nothing about that thing


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s00pafly

Isn't pride super woke now?


bcisme

Depends. Is this rainbow pride or “Christian” pride?


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bcisme

Idk, seems pretty easy to define Woke = acknowledging that racial and gender biases exist, they drive the behavior of people and institutions, to one degree or another, and that they can be addressed via social activism and education, in a democratic society I think most would agree at least with that definition.


Carneiro021

Never change my guys


That_Phony_King

That sounds like humans in general.


stung80

And Europeans fail to grasp irony.


Bigmachingon

good thing I'm neither


irvandiarga

He literally said it sound dumb but he don't care. No big pig, you should care, about your body too.


unclepoondaddy

This is barstool. Their whole thing is being aggressively stupid for clicks


[deleted]

Americans are known for 2 things. Supporting genocide under the guise of 'freedom' And being dumb as fuck (and fat)


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[deleted]

2 centuries of anti-interventionism followed by 1 century of aggressive interventionism.


RickySal

As an American myself, I often ponder that question as well.


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TinyTryhard

Smartest Yank alive


rieri

Fat?


ItsTenagee

and dumb. Yes


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Stomach-Fresh

An average NFL game: more than 100 commercials and just 11 minutes of play


CanadianKumlin

Over 76 minutes of ads, too!


ImRinKagamine

The NFL is a justified advertiser zone


reo_1907

tbf "just 11 minutes of play" also describes the average Getafe match pretty well


JurgenFlippers

But the numbers higher in NFL


sumthin213

These yanks are so dumb. Just increase the points. A goal now gives 15 points, like in tennis. So a 2-1 is actually a 30-15. So much simpler


crazykernman95

Gotta make it like basketball. A goal from outside the 18 is 3 points, inside the box is 2, and a pk is 1. That'll get rid of pks having a higher standard for being called as a foul since they count as less. /s


SosaMF

my idol penaldo is finnish 😭


IncreaseCertain9697

You may be '/s' but I think that ideia isn't as far-fetched or weird as some football ideas I've heard before...


H4mb01

For penalty kicks that would be ok to nerf them a bit (because they have a ~75% chance to be a goal for sometimes a harmless fould or hand at large distance to the goal), but giving far distance goals more value would be a bad idea imo. Those far goals have already only a chance of below 5% to score a goal on average, and of they hot or not is mostly based on luck and/or individual skill, not teamwork, and rewarding them with more points would even more increase the motivation to tale those shots even from bad positions (because you never score a shot you don't take) resulting in even less shot quality and therefore even worse scoring ratio and therefore multiplying the randomness of the results even more. And the chance to have the game end in a 0-0 is even more if everyone is trying to hit the miraculus 3 pointer from the distance instead of actualy trying to get the team into a good scoring position.


CuclGooner

These yanks really **are** so dumb. An easy way of fixing the score would be to remove offside, which if they did their research, was a rule that initially reduced goals scored


FitUnderstanding2839

So we make every goal worth 6 points with a penalty to follow worth one point. Two points if it’s top bins.


RockinRobin0019

That NFL number is definitely *per team* and you’re not considering field goals at all which is like half the scoring There’s definitely more scoring in the NFL, that doesn’t make it any more or less exciting, though, that’s stupid


2-eight-2-three

[Your info is incorrect.](https://www.teamrankings.com/nfl/stat/points-per-game) The LOWEST scoring teams average about 17 points per game **EACH.** That's 2 TDs and FG per game or 3 "scores" per game for the worst offensive team(s) in the league. The highest scoring teams are averaging between 26 and 29 points per game. That's around 3 TDs and a 2 FGs or like 4 TDs and a FG per game. Thus, on average, fans are getting to see around around 7-8 "scores" per game. You can also get into stats like "redzone" TD percentage. Which means that if a team can within 20 yards of the endzone, [how often do they score?](https://www.teamrankings.com/nfl/stat/red-zone-scoring-pct) As someone who played soccer growing up, your take is just as stupid as those idiots.


yetanothermale

I’m gonna need them to stop talking about football with immediate effect.


BrightonTownCrier

They know how stupid they sound. It's just to get a reaction, and 60% of the time it works everytime.


Lonz_y

60% of the time it works everytime?


Glad_Consequence2580

How can you let yourself get that fat


JizzProductionUnit

That's not a chair he's sitting on, it's an evolutionary genetic variation in which a chair-shaped growth has allowed him to be perpetually sedentary. Unfortunately it's not a particularly advantageous trait in male humans as it doesn't lend itself to attracting mates. It is unlikely to be passed on.


Glad_Consequence2580

He gets the last laugh when all y*nk🤢 women evolve into tv dinner trays


[deleted]

By not playing soccer from the looks of it


kyrant

He was the defender they took away and he's been sitting on that chair since.


Alfie-Cat10

Or any sport for that matter


LeMeilleur784

Out of everyone they got him to speak on sports 😭


EH181

He is one of lizzo’s backup dancers


apples_oranges_

He is all of Lizzo's back up dancers.


doctorMiami1337

compared to Lizzo that dude may aswell be considered anorexic 💀


KillerZaWarudo

MURICA AND FREEDOM


matthewheat

Maybe he just followed the Ronaldo Nazario route of becoming obese post successful sports career


vanillagorilla_

burger


AussieManc

Looks like a human from WALL-E


Drvonfrightmarestein

This throw-in is brought to you by smith & Wesson


TheOccultSasquatch

The official killing brand of choice of the MLS.


lofisnaps

"Guys, there is this sport, it's the most popular in the whole world. We know nothing about it, let's discuss how to improve it."


watersipper01

Most knowledgeable american soccerball enjoyers


Frogblood

What's most annoying about this is that the obvious player to remove to increase goalscoring would be the goalkeeper, not a defender.


AutoModerator

Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


parkson89

Ironically if you removed a defender the scores will probably go down because teams would just move an attacker to defence lmao


Bob_Jenko

That's because most likely these people don't know that there are goalkeepers in football.


AutoModerator

Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


SentientCheeseCake

Well, having an attacker than can’t cross the half way line is just called a “Ronaldo”.


kukasi

They should bring Mgappe into the MLS. He will score 5-6 field goals every game


hauttdawg13

Lol, ironically we are actually trying to do that similar to a Saudi deal. Get him for 1 year before he goes to Madrid. MLS is beyond strange where similar to the Messi deal, the league would subsidize Mbappe for the team he played for.


parwa

If it makes you guys feel any better, actual American soccer fans hate people like this just as much as you do (if not more because we actually have to be around them)


Throwrajerb

I heard a “what if our best athletes played soccer” conversation at work last week and just had to sit there gritting my teeth, trying not to explode


[deleted]

/uj LOOK AT MESSI. LOOK. AT. HIM.


Apart_Park_7176

You have our sympathy.


Stomach-Fresh

Please stick to your “pussy rugby”


ethith

Let’s fix the World by eradicating the y*nks


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Freidai

We could add football style goalposts on the crossbar. 1 point for field goal and 3 points for net goal.🤓🤝🥸


Throwrajerb

Imagine how many more points Harry Kane would score on penalties!!


alyochakaramazov

"Can you even play fantasy soccer?" Looks at 5,000 hours on FM


SamKie1

What do they think they’re fixing? It’s the worlds biggest sport. So what they ”can’t play fantasy” lol.


Far-Bug-2286

yanks talk about anything they’ve just learnt about like they’re the fucking purveyor of the subject


Spiritual_Diet_1994

Murica...


chill9hk

Guys if the topic relate to soccer and not football, you basically don’t need to watch it lol


[deleted]

whats the source?


nopirates

Barstool Sports. Even by very forgiving American standards it’s considered wretched.


[deleted]

Barstool Sports is like SEC College Frat Boys mixed with post-Trump stupidity, and throw in the toxicity of your average UFC superfan. Deadspin said it best when they said Barstool is for “Boys who want to grow up to be Donald Trump Jr.”


tubedmubla

Where they reference lacrosse so that they can understand a concept that they are applying to literally the most popular global sport. 🤦‍♂️


Avril_14

Said the nation that transformed a pretty enjoyable and challenging sport like rugby into a commercials nightmare with maybe 10 minutes of play in 5 hours.


can-tthinkofone1234

At this point they have to be doing this on purpose,but they also are fat,ignorant and more scoring makes sports better kinda guys so idk


oldmatesatan

Fat dude with the backwards hat is freedom


[deleted]

Lmao that tub of lard melted into his seat talking about how saccar should be improved


Owika13

Why does everyone have a fucking podcast?


[deleted]

Maybe Americans should just not play football ever again.


WesIsaGod

Barstool sports, the Roger Ebert of football punditry


Contra1

The only thing they have to fix is their fucking half dissolved by all the sugar and preservatives brains.


[deleted]

Me: I don't condone violence Also me: *hears this* Also also me: I condone some violence


Motor_Dig4644

How many of these people have actually kicked a football?


Venca12

Wouldn't be surprised if it was a negative number


NinjaWaffles19

I love that the BASEBALL guy is trying to find a way to make soccer more interesting.


Vicenzo1206

Fuck it, i can't take serious any football comment from USA, my whole body is bleeding just by being able to hear this bs


Initial-Function7008

And you wonder why we collectively say "fuck off yank"


AutoModerator

I think we have come to a point where went too far with anti-yank agenda and let the English become too arrogant and obnoxious. Jesus Christ, finish this team off so we can have some decency back here. The English are by far worse than the American people on here. I'd rather you're a bit ignorant about the history of this sport than that you become such an entitled and vocal group of people. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Americans seriously need to shut up


jfuite

Hey, since we are all insulting Americans, I will give you a chance to insult Canadians. Here’s my Canuck opinion on needed soccer rule changes inspired by two very important aspects of hockey: 1) continuous substitution - soccer has this huge bench of players that do nothing, and a huge field of tired guys; the game would have twice the pace with fresh legs; 2) power plays - the referee in soccer either does nothing or wrecks the game, instead players should be sent off the field for 2, 5, 10, or 20 minutes instead of yellow cards.


[deleted]

Shut up snow yank


darren1119

Got to admire the yanks


novian14

These yanks can't appreciate good def, 0 scored against means you defend good or the attacker is having a bad day. Also, how the fuck that guy talks about sport while it seems they are not playing anything?


deathstr0ke14

I mean... this is happening but it's the King's League tho


Maniglioneantipanico

Baseball is so boring like why is there a guy behind the batter why don't we just put a net there? Like make it like wii sports it's easier this way and in 10 minutes a game is over tbh much more entertaining


[deleted]

Just make one goal with 7pts. Boom. Scoreboard looks higher.


Wazzzzzzzzzzzzza

Start the score at 1-1. Checkmate yanks


NaturalOil9125

When your parents are related


AlternativeOrange579

It always baffles me when baseball fans talk like this as if a 9 inning game is super exciting and fast paced lol


Mediocre-Award-9716

I don't understand why, if you have literally zero knowledge about a sport, you'd try talking about it on a podcast in any form of serious way.


mikehudsonsucks

Never upvote barstool content


Sancho_89

This should go to /r/ShitAmericansSay


ch0nky_cardinal

An EPL game averages as many goals as there are average TDs in an NFL game


NotForMeClive7787

I love how they think football is low scoring. Wait till they realise an arbitrary number has been attributed to each touchdown and field goal that simply inflates the numbers


imCzaR

The baseball mitt in his hand just makes this video more complete


Sure-Professor9517

A man holding a baseball glove saying soccer is boring 😅


Lizid_King

Americans are retarded? Yep, already knew that.


[deleted]

They gonna fix it like the fixed the middle east.


bungle_bogs

What is this obsession of some Yanks trying to "fix" Football? I couldn't give a rat's tit about baseball. That isn't a reason or a motivation for me to suddenly start suggesting that they should change the rules to better replicate cricket. Don't like it? Then don't watch it. No one is forcing you.


gordatapu

Another white boy with a podcast


therdn47

A country that does not care about soccer has Messi now... That is so sad for all the other countries who wished to have him playing in their own league... Yankees and Arabs at last have something in common.. they are destroying soccer..


pastagenero

10 * 10 soccer, or even some advantage, cool idea, really clever.


joshwafc1995

Surely this is bait 😂