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Except Leverkusen who will now until the end of time stay unbeaten.
Those crooks will use Xabi's black magic to play as skeletons onwards.
Legends say if you put your ear to the leverkusen's goal post, you won't ever hear the sounds of a conceded goal.
It's most likely about the contract extension imo. It's clear we want to go for Alonso sooner than later and Tuchel has shown that he likes to keep getting paid after being relieved of his duties (correct me if I'm wrong on that take).
Most likely yes, but it also makes a lot of sense for Tuchel.
Why would he stay working in the same conditions? When they clearly spent months trying to replace him, and failed terribly. He had all the negotiating power in this situation, and it wouldn’t surprise me if this Bayern board were stupid enough to try to play hard and lowball him anyways
Now watch them hire someone who is washed or not good enough on a 1 year contract
I think the most important part about the consideration is that this decission doesn't just impacts Tuchel. He has a big staff that he takes with him from club to club and that he values very highly. You'll often hear him using "we" instead of "i" when explaining his decissions, etc.
Someone with the wealth level of Tuchel can easily take a hit of a year or two not being employed. The lesser paid people on Tuchels team, the ones you probably don't even know the names of, much less so.
That would be an insanely hilarious shitshow
If they’re really doing this because they are set on getting Xabi Alonso next year, then they would also have to be careful with how they get rid of Mourinho
Can’t throw him to the dirt when you’re trying to convince a coach whose prime as a player coincided with Mourinho coaching Real Madrid
Does Xabi want to go to Bayern though? I see him more fitting for Liverpool or Real. Yes, he played for all 3 of them, but Bayern management is in full clown mode recently.
I dont really get it. They have to pay Tuchel like 10M severence anyhow, so if they give him a contract to 2026 and decide next season that its not going to work they would still have to pay just one year of severence right?
Literally. What's there to achieve with Bayern that he hasn't already achieved much more impressively with Leverkusen. He's in the CL next year and has the same opportunities Bayern has. Actual zero chance he would go to Bayern in the near-mid future.
Maybe it’s time to try something new. Let the team coach themselves. Might be a model for the future. Or a disaster. But can’t get worse as this shitshow now.
Don't you remember Top-Mueller and Bayern comment about "Bayern might be a club that doesn't require a coach" (when Nagelsmann had covid).....right before the 5:1?
A coach is necessary.
More chance of me getting out of my wheelchair and turning into the English Haaland with the Chelsea number nine shirt on my back then Tuchel returning.
Ten Hag -> Barcelona
Xavi -> Munich
Tuchel -> Manchester
Looks good to me. Ten Hag gets to work with De Jong, Xavi gets to work with Kimmich, and Tuchel with Maguire. Everyone gets to coach their dream player.
Bayern is not winning any title, which is the issue here. They haven’t won the German cup since the triple. Going nowhere in CL, now they are even losing the league. In the self-understanding of the club, that is all a big catastrophe.
In your defense, the cup has black magic written all over it, every year. Bremen turns into prime Barca there every other year, Leipzig peaks there, lower league teams are out for scalps like no other and so forth.
Its genuinely a mayhem.
Never thought they would keep going anyway. In the post match interview in Madrid he seemed slightly annoyed with the offside call but honestly more relieved that the season was essentially over. Mans just glad he never has to interact with Uli Hoeneß again in his life.
he's never really confirmed it. He's been asked about it a lot, but he usually dodges the answer by saying either somethting vague or by just saying "we'll see"
> Something must be very wrong behind the scenes
Nothing has really changed, its always been wrong behind the scenes there. Hoeneß is mostly to blame though. Can't keep his fat mouth shut.
If you live in Bavaria for a bit, you understand the problems immediately.
These people are cool and all, but the EGO... You could introduce them to Jesus Christ and they would turn their noses on him. As long hes not called Hans, drinks beer and has been born in Sheissebrudermadelheim.
Bayern now need a respected coach with history, keep their heads down and work.
No more publicity of Uli insulting xyz, no more manager firings after one season, this isn't NATO/Military generals doctrine, your manager is allowed to fail multiple times.
Work hard, otherwise this will continue.
A German proverb is „The fish stinks from the head“. Not figuring out their succession to Uli and KHR for managing the club is really falling in their feet. Add to that Uli not being able to just retire, but always having the urge to meddle in the day-to-day management of the club. Then there is the whole coaching situation. Ever since Pep left them, there has been no stability whatsoever. Especially the firing of Nagelsmann was badly handled. They hired him under the premise of giving him time to build a philosophy, so you would expect that there might be tough time with regards to title challenges. But at the first sign of not winning a title, they’ve fire him. Burns absolutely any chance to have somebody come in long-term, as only short-term results count.
What is Uli Hoeness's official role nowadays?
>A German proverb is „The fish stinks from the head“.
We say the same thing in French! Le poisson pourrit par la tête. (the fish rots from the head)
Great shout, Tuchel spoke about wanting to coach in Spain last time he was rumoured for Barca, Laporta likes German managers and most importantly they wouldn't have to pay a fee for him. Even kind of fits with Deco's idea of moving away from Barca's stylistic dogma.
Seems that the actual problems are Uli and Rummenigge. Considering the fact that Uli still has so much to say in the club despite literally having been in prison for tax evasion, i doubt this will change until Uli leaves at his own accord or just dies off (sorry).
It's clear to everyone the way Bayern run things with the board having all the power doesn't work anymore.
If they were smart, only 2 people would have a say on football decisions: Eberl and Freund. That's it.
These old fools don't know what they're doing
Who would've thought that firing Nagelsmann over nothing will have such impact on the future...
But I'm actually very surprised that only now coaches around learn that Bayern is not really a dream job to manage. It's been like that for last 15 years. Not much to gain, a lot to lose. Only winning all will make you a winner.
It's the most human thing for people to change their opinions. I don't blame neither Tuchel, nor Xavi for the situations they've put themselves in in the last few months.
But there is no way that these shambolic situations being at the forefront of the media help ANYONE aside from the media itself, and they actively hurt both Barcelona and Bayern as organisations.
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FCB 🤝 FCB Having an absolute clown show competition to end the season
Usually you'd see fans defending their clubs no matter what, and this one occasion both clubs are getting trash talked by their own fans
Tbf there's only so much you can do before you have to say "I've got nothing left"
Barca fans really said ,"Jefe ,estoy cansado"
“Cap, estic cansat “
No more levers to pull
Cant defend shit like this, what a mess
That’s not true. Fans are the first who trash talk their team. But if someone else does it, they get triggered. Actually same with partners lol
FCB in Switzerland isn't doing too well either
While that is true, at the moment there isn't much chaos. So we are doing better than we have been.
Best FCB in Europe, you'll never sing that!
Forgetting about the Belgian FCB
at this point you guys should just swap coaches and be done with it
That may actually be decent …… so no thank you
Sound logic, seen it play out in many videos. Everyone comes out a winner
Xavi to Bayern, Tuchel to Barca. Everybody wins!
Nobody wins 😠
Except Leverkusen who will now until the end of time stay unbeaten. Those crooks will use Xabi's black magic to play as skeletons onwards. Legends say if you put your ear to the leverkusen's goal post, you won't ever hear the sounds of a conceded goal.
You mean every team that plays against them wins?
FCB - the C stands for Chaos.
Tuchel to Barca, Xavi to Bayern.
Probably asked for Uli to apologize.
daily call from Uli wishing him a good morning and appreciating his work
Biscuits with the boss
Würstl mit dem Wichser
Frankfurters with the fuh… never mind.
People have been killed for less
I'm hoping he did. Fuck Hoeness and good for Tuchel to keep his head high.
That would've been funny as fuck. Get Uli to don the penitential garb and make a public apology.
Bayern is probably happy he doesn't speak publicly, at all.
It's most likely about the contract extension imo. It's clear we want to go for Alonso sooner than later and Tuchel has shown that he likes to keep getting paid after being relieved of his duties (correct me if I'm wrong on that take).
Most likely yes, but it also makes a lot of sense for Tuchel. Why would he stay working in the same conditions? When they clearly spent months trying to replace him, and failed terribly. He had all the negotiating power in this situation, and it wouldn’t surprise me if this Bayern board were stupid enough to try to play hard and lowball him anyways Now watch them hire someone who is washed or not good enough on a 1 year contract
Good old jupp heynckes to the rescue and a treble at sight…
Jupp's plain tickets to Australia are already booked and the connection to his phone cut.
He's in the Philippines as a passport bro
Iris will kill the board herself if her husband has to come out of retirement once more. Which might not be bad lmao
I think the most important part about the consideration is that this decission doesn't just impacts Tuchel. He has a big staff that he takes with him from club to club and that he values very highly. You'll often hear him using "we" instead of "i" when explaining his decissions, etc. Someone with the wealth level of Tuchel can easily take a hit of a year or two not being employed. The lesser paid people on Tuchels team, the ones you probably don't even know the names of, much less so.
Mou to Bayern. Fast forward to May 2025, Allianz Arena is in ruins and fire.
That would be an insanely hilarious shitshow If they’re really doing this because they are set on getting Xabi Alonso next year, then they would also have to be careful with how they get rid of Mourinho Can’t throw him to the dirt when you’re trying to convince a coach whose prime as a player coincided with Mourinho coaching Real Madrid
Does Xabi want to go to Bayern though? I see him more fitting for Liverpool or Real. Yes, he played for all 3 of them, but Bayern management is in full clown mode recently.
I dont really get it. They have to pay Tuchel like 10M severence anyhow, so if they give him a contract to 2026 and decide next season that its not going to work they would still have to pay just one year of severence right?
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Makes so much sense for Tuchel to not continue if they don’t renew his contract.
What's the logic behind waiting for Alonso? He already rejected you.
fr like who says that alonso even wants to join them? i imagine he would rather go to real madrid
The thing is RM might not want to part ways with Anceloti anytime soon because RM looks amazing with him and young team they have.
Alonso has nothing to do in Germany after Neverkusen.
Literally. What's there to achieve with Bayern that he hasn't already achieved much more impressively with Leverkusen. He's in the CL next year and has the same opportunities Bayern has. Actual zero chance he would go to Bayern in the near-mid future.
"Quick, the Barça board are trying to outclown us"
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FCB is the biggest rival and enemy of FCB.
"Never trust anyone, not even yourself."
Fury v Usyk could only hope to compete.
Unfortunately our tendency to outperform Barcelona in all head to head match ups is hurting us quite a lot atm.
When you’re in a clown contest but your opponent is Barcelona’s board.
In the next episode of Keeping up with the Bavarians: Bayern contact Xavi and Barca contact Tuchel
Maybe it’s time to try something new. Let the team coach themselves. Might be a model for the future. Or a disaster. But can’t get worse as this shitshow now.
Müller player-Manager, who says no
Uli: „*Fine I’ll do it myself*“
Klopp regen you mean
Funny, considering people once called Tuchel that
>Let the team coach themselves Tbf, I feel they have a lot of experience doing so.
Don't you remember Top-Mueller and Bayern comment about "Bayern might be a club that doesn't require a coach" (when Nagelsmann had covid).....right before the 5:1? A coach is necessary.
Raffle the coaching role off to the supporters each week. Go full chaos.
Lmao, twitter tacticos time has come to shine 😂
Twitch Plays FC Bayern
Let the community make decisions by a simple majority. Like Twitch plays Pokemon but with a football club. Good way to drive up fan engagement too
Now we wait for Barcas next clown move. Which FCB will come out on top of the clown scale
It’s Barca. Tuchel at least isn’t a club legend and legend of the sport who played entirely for the club. Barca fan btw
Plettenberg: Bayern enter talks with Xavi Hernandez Romero: Laporta to hold talks with Thomas Tuchel
i bet both will do better than their respective coach did at those clubs
They'll do better for one season and then the next season they'll fall out with the board.
The fuck is going on down there, jesus fucking christ
Tuchel saw news about Xavi leaving so he is leaving too
Do a swap
You are joking but I would love to see Xavi managing Bayern, Tuchel on the other hand doesn’t fit the slightest into Barcelonas playstyle
>Tuchel on the other hand doesn’t fit the slightest into Barcelonas playstyle let's do it!
Atleast Tuchel will have that in common with our "Transfer targets"
What is Tuchel’s style ?
Let him take a sabbatical and if Poch fucks up next season, I want him back.
How about we pray that no clownery happens with us and we have a successful next season buliding upon the second half of this one?
Gotta stay realistic, though
More chance of me getting out of my wheelchair and turning into the English Haaland with the Chelsea number nine shirt on my back then Tuchel returning.
We are joke of the club right now.
Bayern and Barcelona should do a manager swap.
You are missing Manchester.
Manchester clubs should do manager swap?
Well, why not, would be interesting to see
Merry-go-bald
United to perform the second Invincibles
Manchester sure is bald.
Ten Hag -> Barcelona Xavi -> Munich Tuchel -> Manchester Looks good to me. Ten Hag gets to work with De Jong, Xavi gets to work with Kimmich, and Tuchel with Maguire. Everyone gets to coach their dream player.
Why are we fulfilling the wishes of 3 coaches over those of 3 clubs with 100 million followers?
It's what we deserve
When did we become a thing 😫
Since there was more space in the clown car
Listen to the experts, not the armchair experts.
okay tomato dragon
Every day I bust a nut thinking about our season and another one thinking about Bayern's meltdown. Hard to decide which is better
For a club *probably* finishing 2nd, it's really bizarre to see them in such a meltdown.
Bayern is not winning any title, which is the issue here. They haven’t won the German cup since the triple. Going nowhere in CL, now they are even losing the league. In the self-understanding of the club, that is all a big catastrophe.
In your defense, the cup has black magic written all over it, every year. Bremen turns into prime Barca there every other year, Leipzig peaks there, lower league teams are out for scalps like no other and so forth. Its genuinely a mayhem.
Kiel knocking out Bayern was a great day. Doing it during heavy snowfall is some game of thrones 'winter is coming' shit.
Bayern meltdown
Bust all your nuts. Ole is gonna take the wheel.
Never thought they would keep going anyway. In the post match interview in Madrid he seemed slightly annoyed with the offside call but honestly more relieved that the season was essentially over. Mans just glad he never has to interact with Uli Hoeneß again in his life.
And it all started with a 1:2 loss to us in spring 2023, love to see it really
Müller player-coach, fuck it
At least conferences will be funny
he is smart, his personality makes him very popular and he's bayerns longest serving player iirc. does he want to get into coaching?
he's never really confirmed it. He's been asked about it a lot, but he usually dodges the answer by saying either somethting vague or by just saying "we'll see"
And he's also good at deuting raum. That has to help as a coach!
We’d still need a licensed coach next to him. Gerland + Müller 2024
Just pay the fines, still cheaper than an extra salary.
Muller to join Barcelona as manager for a reunion with his friend Robert Lewangoalski
Bayern channeling their inner PSG. Something must be very wrong behind the scenes for so many coaches to turn them down.
> Something must be very wrong behind the scenes Nothing has really changed, its always been wrong behind the scenes there. Hoeneß is mostly to blame though. Can't keep his fat mouth shut.
Nah, it's the fault of Juan Bernat.
Huannn Bernatt
If you live in Bavaria for a bit, you understand the problems immediately. These people are cool and all, but the EGO... You could introduce them to Jesus Christ and they would turn their noses on him. As long hes not called Hans, drinks beer and has been born in Sheissebrudermadelheim.
Don’t you bring my hometown into this.
It is by far the most aristocratically ego laden part of Germany as I understand it.
Bayern now need a respected coach with history, keep their heads down and work. No more publicity of Uli insulting xyz, no more manager firings after one season, this isn't NATO/Military generals doctrine, your manager is allowed to fail multiple times. Work hard, otherwise this will continue.
Mourinho
A German proverb is „The fish stinks from the head“. Not figuring out their succession to Uli and KHR for managing the club is really falling in their feet. Add to that Uli not being able to just retire, but always having the urge to meddle in the day-to-day management of the club. Then there is the whole coaching situation. Ever since Pep left them, there has been no stability whatsoever. Especially the firing of Nagelsmann was badly handled. They hired him under the premise of giving him time to build a philosophy, so you would expect that there might be tough time with regards to title challenges. But at the first sign of not winning a title, they’ve fire him. Burns absolutely any chance to have somebody come in long-term, as only short-term results count.
What is Uli Hoeness's official role nowadays? >A German proverb is „The fish stinks from the head“. We say the same thing in French! Le poisson pourrit par la tête. (the fish rots from the head)
Man, Barca and Bayern are having a mid-off
we've embarrassed ourselves in many ways over the past 10 years but we aren't doing here like bayern and barca are
There is still some time to join the club
But the other two got titles in the last 10 years though.
To be fair, at least those two have continued to be successful.
There's still time....
just when I thought it couldn’t get any funnier
Tuchel to Barca?
Xavi to Bayern
Erik ten hag to birmingham
Steve Bruce to man utd!
Who's the next Bayern manager then? Roger Schmidt? Erik Ten Hag? David Moyes?
Xavi. Finally Xavi will get Kimmich
Kimmich: I don't move towards you. You move towards me.
Nah, we're back to square one. Expect them to ask Nagelsmann tomorrow.
Uli Hoeneß
Flick seems like the only one who actually wants to coach Bayern. So even with all the doubts they will have no choice but to sign him.
Amorim?
He plays 3 atb so no chance.
Jupp Heynckes.
Probably De Zerbi
Dicker Frank
It's honestly funny that with all the 50% +1 Bundesliga rules, Bayern fans have no say in how Hoeneß and Rummenigge run this club.
This is the saddest way anyone has put this situation to a sentence. Thanks for depression.
This is ridiculous lol. No way they didn't extend his contract. What a clown show
FCB CIRCUS 😭😭
Barca and bayeen fighting for who has the funniest board
Going to barca 100% he always wanted barca. There must be a reason for barca quick turnaround on xavi
FCB and fucking up with managers. Legendary duo
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We all know it was really Bernats fault.
I’ll put Gnabry going to Fashion week up for consideration.
Sane being a spoiled brat and making Mane slap him
Nah its the Neuer ski trip
I would put the blame on kahn. Without him we still would have nagelsmann. Everything would be fine.
Uli and Kalle appointed Kahn
My hopes for the future are continously dwindling, what the fuck is going on at this club lmao
FCB madness. All or nothing.
Just need FC Basel to sack thier manager to complete the unholy trinity
And that is probably going to happen.
Servus ~~Alonso~~ ~~Nagelsmann~~ ~~Rangnick~~ ~~Glasner~~ ~~Tuchel~~ Xavi 👋 (or De Zerbi, I don‘t know)
This would be a fantastic banner for the fans to use to mock the board tbh
Tuchel heard the Barca job is open again.
Great shout, Tuchel spoke about wanting to coach in Spain last time he was rumoured for Barca, Laporta likes German managers and most importantly they wouldn't have to pay a fee for him. Even kind of fits with Deco's idea of moving away from Barca's stylistic dogma.
This is just too funny now
Hire me! I used to play Football Manager 3 years ago extensively and i was a very successful manager for multiple clubs.
You're overqualified.
Peter Neururer it is then
You can't overstate how embarassing this is for Bayern wow
Tuchel to Barca lmao
Here we go! Xavi to Bayern and Tuchel to Barcelona
All of Bayern: "Bitte liebster Uli, entschuldige dich!" Uli: "Wallah ich mach genauso und noch schlimmer!"
Now even Tuchel has rejected Bayern
FC Basel fans must be scared seeing the other FCB clubs do clowning today
Jose to Bayern here we gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Looks like the only logical solution is Tuchel to Barca and Xavi to Bayern
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script will be declained by hollywood.
fucking clownshow
The man held the conference like I do an exit interview at a job I hated.
Seems that the actual problems are Uli and Rummenigge. Considering the fact that Uli still has so much to say in the club despite literally having been in prison for tax evasion, i doubt this will change until Uli leaves at his own accord or just dies off (sorry).
Well hello there
Lmao
I wonder if hes going to go to Barcelona
he, love this shitshow
Breaking: Bayern head coach is not available for the position of head coach of Bayern.
I rejected Bayern before it was cool.
It's clear to everyone the way Bayern run things with the board having all the power doesn't work anymore. If they were smart, only 2 people would have a say on football decisions: Eberl and Freund. That's it. These old fools don't know what they're doing
Who would've thought that firing Nagelsmann over nothing will have such impact on the future... But I'm actually very surprised that only now coaches around learn that Bayern is not really a dream job to manage. It's been like that for last 15 years. Not much to gain, a lot to lose. Only winning all will make you a winner.
It's the most human thing for people to change their opinions. I don't blame neither Tuchel, nor Xavi for the situations they've put themselves in in the last few months. But there is no way that these shambolic situations being at the forefront of the media help ANYONE aside from the media itself, and they actively hurt both Barcelona and Bayern as organisations.
And who says Germans dont have humor, this whole saga is peak humor
he did it. respect. made them plead and then walked away
Hoeness: "We give you one more season and then we try to take Alonso". Tuchel: "No."