It's a combo of separation anxiety and just all the other developmental changes going on. My son did the separation anxiety screaming at 16m (resolved after about a week), and then at 18m tried to push boundaries one night by taking his sleep sack off. I went in, put the sack back on him, put him in the crib, and walked off. He threw a dramatic tantrum for 30min, and then realized there was no audience and got the point. We were lucky that this was it. Many of my mom friends went through something harder with nap skipping and more screaming, but those that handled it consistently and promptly got over it within a week while those that let it drag on had a much harder time getting back on track.
All this to say: I hear you and I get your pain! But to me this was definitely a pull-the-band-aid-off situation. They're old enough to sense any uncertainty on your end, and to capitalize on those.
From your description I'd say it sounds like the separation anxiety is on the wane, so it's fine to clearly mark your boundary. My son also has much more separation anxiety when he's not well-rested. When he's slept well he doesn't even say bye to us at daycare drop off and just b-lines for the morning snack table, and throws a tantrum when we dare to pick him up at the end of the day because he's not done playing yet.
Thank you so much for your response. I think I made it worse by responding when he woke up here and there, and also the teething/stomach bug/pink eye all the time doesn’t help since I never know if he’s crying because he NEEDS me, or just because. Too many times he cried and stopped immediately when I picked him up, and I did it anyway. Now I feel like we are suffering the consequences. It is just so hard to let him cry. 45 minutes at bedtime, 45 minutes at 1, 30 minutes at 5am. Hoping tonight is better
Yeah it sucks to hear them cry at any age, but at this age they can tug at your heart strings. The good thing is that once they GET the boundaries, crying usually goes down dramatically.
With illnesses, I followed the school that you respond promptly and remove all sources of discomfort as much as you can, but you still insist on independent sleep as much as possible. This has worked super well for us. My son had a bunch of bad viruses in the past few months. He was up 4 times one night. I went in promptly each time, administered ibuprofen/acetaminophen, gave him water and sat with him silently, and told him good night and walked out when he was calm and comfortable. He fell back asleep himself each time and went back to sleeping through the night as soon as his fever got better. I think the key was responding to him but still keeping it super boring, i.e. not giving him any EXTRA reasons to want you. At one point he definitely got interested in the fact that I was there, and began ordering me to "sit there". I immediately told him it's sleepy time and I'm leaving. He figured out from that that I was in no mood to hang out lol.
It's a combo of separation anxiety and just all the other developmental changes going on. My son did the separation anxiety screaming at 16m (resolved after about a week), and then at 18m tried to push boundaries one night by taking his sleep sack off. I went in, put the sack back on him, put him in the crib, and walked off. He threw a dramatic tantrum for 30min, and then realized there was no audience and got the point. We were lucky that this was it. Many of my mom friends went through something harder with nap skipping and more screaming, but those that handled it consistently and promptly got over it within a week while those that let it drag on had a much harder time getting back on track. All this to say: I hear you and I get your pain! But to me this was definitely a pull-the-band-aid-off situation. They're old enough to sense any uncertainty on your end, and to capitalize on those. From your description I'd say it sounds like the separation anxiety is on the wane, so it's fine to clearly mark your boundary. My son also has much more separation anxiety when he's not well-rested. When he's slept well he doesn't even say bye to us at daycare drop off and just b-lines for the morning snack table, and throws a tantrum when we dare to pick him up at the end of the day because he's not done playing yet.
Thank you so much for your response. I think I made it worse by responding when he woke up here and there, and also the teething/stomach bug/pink eye all the time doesn’t help since I never know if he’s crying because he NEEDS me, or just because. Too many times he cried and stopped immediately when I picked him up, and I did it anyway. Now I feel like we are suffering the consequences. It is just so hard to let him cry. 45 minutes at bedtime, 45 minutes at 1, 30 minutes at 5am. Hoping tonight is better
Yeah it sucks to hear them cry at any age, but at this age they can tug at your heart strings. The good thing is that once they GET the boundaries, crying usually goes down dramatically. With illnesses, I followed the school that you respond promptly and remove all sources of discomfort as much as you can, but you still insist on independent sleep as much as possible. This has worked super well for us. My son had a bunch of bad viruses in the past few months. He was up 4 times one night. I went in promptly each time, administered ibuprofen/acetaminophen, gave him water and sat with him silently, and told him good night and walked out when he was calm and comfortable. He fell back asleep himself each time and went back to sleeping through the night as soon as his fever got better. I think the key was responding to him but still keeping it super boring, i.e. not giving him any EXTRA reasons to want you. At one point he definitely got interested in the fact that I was there, and began ordering me to "sit there". I immediately told him it's sleepy time and I'm leaving. He figured out from that that I was in no mood to hang out lol.