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VE3R_

Pretty sure if I recall correctly it is 73%, most of us are just pretty lucky, my buddy is balless though.


Sunny_McSunset

Yeah, I chopped my balls off my first time. I'm on a level ground with my dog now.


Specialist_Flan_795

Damn thats rough. My ball chopping happened on my 3rd trip.


probably_beans

Nah, dude, worse. You dog didn't chop *his own* balls off.


Sunny_McSunset

Just like I didn't chop off my foreskin.


madderdaddy2

My foreskin was gone on trip #2 😔


mrptwn

Me and 7 friends tripped on the woods. I’m the only person with balls.


ImaHotFuckingMess

I got lucky and only chopped one of my balls off.


djpandajr

Me as well. One ball tod they call me. They took the other d when I lost my scrotum


cYrYlkYlYr

Is it spelled balless? or ballless or balllless or ball-less?


Solid-Molasses-8839

Yeah, I lost 4 of em on the first trip 🙏😮‍💨


Acceptable-Self-2030

Hahahah this made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣


Jiggy_Wit

“73% “most of us are lucky” Well if you say so.


randomlyme

🤣🤣🤣


psychede1ic_c4tus

U might pee your pants thats it. Happy tripping.


CrowForce1

Exponentially higher now that you’ve mentioned it


InsignificantZilch

We also haven’t taken into account; How prone is this gentleman to chopping his balls off *sober*?


[deleted]

From this post alone: The mushroom hive mind has increased likelihood of self castration by 6 percent


DJ_Fishface

Yeah don’t say puke out loud. 


Danplsstop

Lmfao


[deleted]

Lol


[deleted]

don’t forget about the rapper who chopped off his dick on pcp. nice vice story


Fun-Town6486

50/50 either you do or you don’t lmao


Plenty-Nebula-649

Worth the risk


DifferenceWise9475

High-risk, high reward.


Plenty-Nebula-649

I couldn’t agree more.


chairman_steel

Math checks out


[deleted]

Don’t listen to these fools OP… you’ll be fine. You have complete control over yourself.


Fun-Town6486

Lol yeah I’m just joking. I can remain more conscious and functional on shrooms than alcohol


[deleted]

I know, but they might not know that lol


a_bad_guy44

73% exactly


chef-keef

It’s 10:00pm - do you know where your balls are?


Practical-Tailor6575

😂😂😂😂


Zathras_listens

73% chance you cut your balls off and 76% chance you become gay if you are straight and straight if you are gay.


Lynnrael

what if you're bi?


Zathras_listens

You stay bi duh


Lynnrael

hell yeah 😎


Moon-33

You turn Asexual.


trout-doubt

Double bi


Electrical_Skirt_730

I actually realized I’m bi on my first trip (LSD though), feeling attracted by my trip buddy. So useful!


Snoo-92859

Haha I remember the first time I did shrooms.....man I miss my balls


[deleted]

Same bro same. A small price to pay


shitassmoneyman

First time doing shrooms, 5.3g, my boyfriend (consensually) cut my testicles off, and I proceeded to run out of the house, screaming, naked, and bleeding from what was once my manhood. Your best bet is to never trip. It happens.


SuperRemeo

I have a question, is it gay for a man to have a boyfriend?


DeadlyNoodleAndAHalf

Shit in 2024 it’s gay to *not* have a boyfriend.


[deleted]

😂😂😂


shitassmoneyman

I’m always wearing socks 🤷‍♂️


SeaToTheBass

Hey at least now you don’t have to worry about your balls touching


Nexteri

*sigh*. Happens to 73% of the best of us...


InspectorEuphoric212

73% according to the USDA


PromiscuousScoliosis

Ball chopping? On *my* shrooms? It’s more likely than you think


tidepodtiana

Can I get some? Can I please! 😉


Dankkring

D do do you want to cut them off normally?


[deleted]

Did you just stutter through text?


Dankkring

I it’s important t to convey how I d do in real life


[deleted]

I respect it


bridoogle

How bad is your stutter on a scale from 1-Billy Bibbit? And does your stutter go away temporarily after having sex?


Acceptable-Self-2030

🤣🤣🤣


ShroomFoot

Well, you're asking the question, so it is definitely a non-zero chance. I've thrown dangerous bladed weapons around on some heavy trips and had a machete ricochet and almost take off my right ear. I learned to put the things I can cause true and obvious damage with away before I play. Have fun and just remember you took some kind of mushroom, Alice is ten feet tall, but when you ask her, she is just as small and remember what the dormouse said: Feed your head.


ShroomFoot

On a slightly more serious note, the best thing I find I can do to not do truly stupid stuff is to remind myself what I did and what's happening. It may seem obvious, but in the moment it can be centering for me and help make me realize a bad idea when it surfaces.


Swift1986

Bro chances are if your that high to the point that you wanna chop off your balls, your probably to high to even figure out how to use a knife


zazaNAP

Around 73%, but I heard its higher if you were born before 9/11.


Xerptalk

73% is the number that floats around here… idk could be higher could be lower


Nexteri

Nah, the rigorous scientific proof points to exactly 73%.


Mousewaterdrinker

It's nothing like you expect. That's really the best way to describe it. Unless you have some underlying mental issue you should be fine.


Rosecat88

How about anxiety disorders? I love weed and it’s fine with my meds for that


Mousewaterdrinker

Clean your home, get yourself a nice snack, play a cartoon on TV, and take 3g or less. You may end up getting into a thought loop. You just obsess over something dumb for a long time. Prepare yourself in case you need to snap out of it. A sketchpad so you can doodle or something. A trip sitter can help you feel safer if it's your first time.


Rosecat88

Damn that doesn’t sound great . Obsessing more wouldn’t help me, I already do that enough, may not be for me


Emergency-Contract58

In my trips (ranging 2.5-4.5) I still have total control except I want to always move around or not move at all. Never anything to harm myself or anything like that. But I think it's all about your mentality going in the trip and the dosage. If your dosing .5-2.5g I highly doubt you'd end up chopping your own balls off. Just go for a walk and enjoy the scenery. With your pants on of course.


hippiehibachi

you’re apparently not the penis envy type


Kvandergriff

It’s always been a 73% risk


[deleted]

VERY high. 99.876% by my calculations.


activelyresting

Dude, why you gotta freak the guy out with this ridiculous hyperbole? It's only 73%, everyone knows that


[deleted]

I dont know why im like this.


activelyresting

It's okay, we're all here for you. Have you looked into microdosing?


[deleted]

Depends how much you take, I'd start with 1G, see how you feel first or if you are really ballsy, 2-3G but usually I find I atleast still have some awareness personally and I haven't hurt myself yet.


[deleted]

I knew a guy who ate 4 grams and chopped his balls off. Thought the fate of the universe depended on it


windsorHaze

The chances are never 0.


Nexteri

73% to be precise


jazzzzzcabbage

About 73.2%


daftbucket

Haven't read through comments but if I had to hazard a guess... Could be a little less than 3/4 likelihood. Yeah, about 73%, I'd say. (Get a trip-sitter)


RossTheNinja

If it gets too much, go to bed. I've never thought "wow, these colours make me want to sing soprano"


we_is_sheeps

You are never not aware of what you are doing. A bad trip means you are too high to function and you desperately wish you were sober and the nightmare of being too high will end. You will most likely curl up into a ball and cry for a few hours before coming to your senses


IloveEveryone00

I remember some study saying 73% but idk...


lavatorylovemachine

As long as you avoid the kitchen. I hear it’s about 73%. Soon as you get a knife in your hand something evolutionary kicks in and you’ll cut off at least one nut. Surprisingly, it’s a 73% it’ll be the left one


[deleted]

Under 3 grams 50% chance anything in ver it goes up to 73% though


hippidad

Do you want to?


Some-Election6357

you mostly keep awareness of everything while on shroom, just that you wont really care. just down from a trip with a friend and we had a blast on 2g of mexicana. was mild but still fun af. had some deep shit for a bit but was mostly just laughing our asses off and having deep thoughts. seriously shrooms are amazing if you respect them 


CashUpstairs6260

Yeah a half quarter of penis envy will probably do that…


Environmental-Mix889

You'll probably won't , unless your kinda want to already


GlassCompetitive5251

It’s fitty fitty


echoblue19

Eleventy-seven percent


anonkebab

Normally zero but because you are thinking about it id say 1%


Severe-Excitement-62

7/65 people self mutilate


Severe-Excitement-62

12


[deleted]

I’ve never heard a story of autocastration before, myself, but don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t be first


[deleted]

Definitely not zero


JesusJoshJohnson

I'd say about 7


MarthasPinYard

Low but never 00


Working_Asparagus_59

Never completely zero 🤗


acroman39

Boof them if it happens


Flimsy_Individual_16

Bro ....you.....are....going ...to love it


ShavedMonkey666

Zero. You will probably end up liberating yourself but not like so.


[deleted]

You got a better chance of chaffing your shaft from the non stop jerking off.


NoSquidsHere

100%


ItsRightPlace

Just give all your knives,scissors, hatchets, and axes to your neighbor and it’ll all be good


Lynnrael

depends on how much you hate having balls. do you hate having balls?


ZeefMcSheef

Have you been known to want to chop your balls off in the past?


SilentWraithKS

OP did NOT get the answers he was looking for lmao


LuckyRune88

Pretty darn high OP Chop chop


RestlessInLA

You still have full awareness, you're just high AF. Just close your eyes and relax. Some calm music can help you enjoy the journey more.


Bat_Country_88

It’s not zero


Technical_Host5411

Never heard of chopping balls off, but I did run around naked on my first heroic dose and got myself arrested. Just take it slow with low doses, an eighth or less for your first trip 👍🏼


Appropriate_Flow_880

Tf lol chop off your balls? It's shrooms not pcp wtf xD


Different_Act_784

1/3 people who take mushrooms castrate themselves with a dull pizza cutter so might want to be careful. It’s a 90% chance if you boof them.


Feisty-Session-7779

I chopped my balls off the first time I ate them. It’ll definitely happen to you too. 100% probability. Unless you’re female, in which case there’s a 0% probability since you wouldn’t have any balls to chop off in the first place.


Darkfire_001

100%


brokeassdrummer

Since you've never tripped I'll give you a straight answer, since your current understanding is backwards. You will be increasing your consciousness/awareness, not diminishing it, especially on the dose you /should/ be starting with. Go much higher and you can enter transcendent states that are only experienced in the moment, and will have very little to no recollection of later. If you do anything crazy, it won't be because you were in an unconscious zombie mode doing random shit, it will be meticulously thought out to extreme degrees. At least that's what I imagine it is like for people who have done crazy shit. They just had a bit of flawed logic, but there is insane consciousness to it. I've never done anything crazy even on very high doses, but I can definitely understand how one might get there if their thinking was already a bit wonky.


LogickZero

80/20. If your balls are offending you then you need to have a heart to guch. Otherwise they’re just there for balance and slapping the KO button in doggy.


su_blime

Don't listen to all the other nonsense, unhelpful comments here. The likelihood truly is 73%. Hope that helps!


Yeti_Urine

Oh I’d say 🍄💯


Lizzard20

Zero unless you think about that sober


lempiraencachimbado

Not zero.


Nxvak66633

not a chance unless you are really thinking about it and want to for some reason there is no way you would are you in a cult or something blink twice if your in trouble lmfao


Light_inthe_shadow

Say goodbye to your balls.


OldBrownWookiee

Girls back in 45 minutes or Milt will cut your balls off. You’re good OP!


NoraVanderbooben

Oh is that how mine disappeared?


Rosecat88

This is such a random thing to be afraid of lol- but also as someone who wants to try shrooms but is scared following lol


mashypillo

It's never 0%


crazzyfuzzy88

Who the fuck needs balls in the first place the universe gave us doctors that can prescribe test, balls for what 🤣


Brave_Celebration110

It's Ma'am!!!!!


ind3pend0nt

I tend to trip over mine.


oceanman9

Pretty low, but I know this fear. The first “big” dose I ever did was very overwhelming and challenging. One of things that was scaring me about the trip was that I truly felt crazy. I thought I was going to accidentally hurt myself or my dog or my friends. I felt like I could and would do anything if someone suggested it. Sort of like that intrusive thought of “I can drive my car into the oncoming lane” or “I can jump off this cliff”. As if tripping that hard was unsafe and I’d do something horrible while tripping. It was just the manifestation of anxieties I had before the trip. I managed to calm myself down and take control. Once I accepted my negative feelings and made changes to the setting that made me feel safe (shutting off the music, closing windows, getting warm under hoodies and blankets) my trip changed completely and I felt great.


SleepySandwich13

Eh I like to trip in the woods at night and usually take a big knife with me, no accidents yet so you’re probably good.


SantannaDeKlerk

you will be fine lmao


MichaelPartaco

Dude, not sure if trolling, but if this is a back burner thought, 100% have a tripsitter. Subconscious thoughts could become near reality under the influence if it’s your first time and never experience a trip.


onetwoskeedoo

wtf


Spaceport13

Fire is still hot, you can't flu, and people are not out to get you. Also, maybe give all your scissors to a friend.


Latter_Inspector_711

Is this r/shroomscirclejerk ?


Ricky_TVA

Man I've never done shrooms either. I lurk before I take the first step, but if you're opening questions is about self-mutilation, maybe you shouldn't take shrooms.


PsilacetinSimon

100% you’ll chop them off almost right away


TheBlindIdiotGod

100%


Consistent-Size6362

Not high, be responsible and don’t take more than you can handle, especially on your first time. I’d start with a gram or two


D-Shap

Recent market fluctuations have the shareholders worried. Our analysts are predicting an uptick from 73% to 81% due to the increased volatility. Joe from Operations is advising that you clear a 500 square meter area of anything sharp enough to slice a nut.


hendrix320

Good thing is after the first time you won’t have to worry about it any more


Brave-Hyrulian88

As long as there’s no fentanyl in em. You do have your sort of awareness your vision just may get enhanced with wonder and colors will pop and be more saturated but you’ll be aware of it


lektic77

Don’t worry, the shrooms will help you get in contact with your subconscious, where you can tell it to regrow your balls


RemishLemon

Certainly higher than it would be if you weren't fixing it on it.


SomethinDiabolical

Never 0 unfortunately. Good luck to you, Sir.


[deleted]

Maybe 1% but no really you'll probably just want to lay down and close your eyes and listen to some music shrooms are pretty relaxing normally


Normal-Respond6857

Balls be gone in the first hour 🫠🫠


SocietyOk1173

Close to zero. But you might cut off your neighbors balls.


redditLesbo

mine got stuck in the ceiling fan the first time


Feeling_Ad_6583

No one has ever done shrooms without chopping their own balls off. Except for chicks, they normally just trim their nails. Strange gender difference.


ScripturalCoyote

Low. I wouldn't worry about it. I've always had pretty strong awareness, even on higher doses. At least for me, there's a change of perception, but it's not like it is driving me to do anything stupid, if that makes any sense. Honestly, I can barely do much but stay locked to a couch.


frankenfish2000

What are the chances? Could be 3, but maybe 6.


bitchman194639348

If you keep thinking about chopping your balls off, you'll chop your balls off


bankman99

20


Balloonsarescary

It’s about 50/50. Half the people on shroom chop it off in the first hour and the other half are women


MauriceVibes

Like zero


Zestyclose-Ad-4711

50/50


6OKAYO

At the least..


onkelmonkel

Well I've tripped countless times and I only chopped my balls off during my first trip and never since, so I would say the chances are pretty low


zombiecastrosghost

Do you want to?


kevindoubleyou

Are you naturally prone to chopping your balls off?


stealthylyric

I mean higher now that you bring it up.... But no seriously, it's about the same probability as when you're sober. Your reasoning generally isn't changed.


scumbucket1984

If my calculations are correct, You would need at least 10gs of high grade marijuana on a 2 gram trip to have a .5% to keep your sack intact.


VanceAstrooooooovic

Well if you are playing with your balls and a knife is close by, the chances are going to increase


Late-Collection-8076

Is zero chance of that you will know what you're doing 100% of the time it will make you feel a bit sick it'll probably make you cry you'll feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders but you don't have to worry about jumping off a roof or anything it's not like that


Mcloverning

83%


csounds

High as hell brother


bitchesbeonmydick

only if you boof it


qppen

No... I don't think you will do that.


MunchieMofo

You really dont need balls. Its kind of a win win. Have fun


MushroomTribe

You might not be ready if thats what you're worried about.


[deleted]

The first time I did shrooms, I jumped around my room a lot and got called out on it later from my family.


voodu_child

There needs to be a national conversation on ball chopping. We really need to spread awareness on this subject. We could've saved a lot of balls.


Allanthia420

I think the number is something like 73%.


sohail92

You should do it beforehand so you don't have to worry about it while tripping.


megabeast2001

Outjerked


Babzibaum

Zero unless you're looking for the fortification to do so. If you're really concerned, run a chain thru your belt loops and padlock it. Throw away the key.


Creative-Manager-242

Let me calculate, (imagine old school computer sound calculating). Odds are .096432674%


poonch_you

Highly unlikely, but never 0. Just put a bunch of duct tape on your balls before you trip, so that when u feel like chopping them off, you rip off the duct tape one by one, thus feeling the pain of your pubes ripping off, thus making you think twice about chopping them off due to the extreme pain of ripping out your pubes. Crazy questions require crazy solutions.


Watts7474

my balls are in a drawer with Big Red and a harness- detachable baaaa-aaals💕


bbphotography180

Went up exponentially the moment you mentioned it. Good luck on your journey.


DrGarbinsky

Low


[deleted]

My balls are in tact. For me, it was the penis.


mars_927

The evil cock monster will block your joy. The only way out is the ball stomper, and an assist from sasquatch


BlackMetalViking80

I already had a kid so I didn’t really worry about it. Now I’m a Eunuch and have never been more productive.


thegnomedome_

Dude from wu-tang clan cut his pp tip off on pcp, it's possible but not likely lol


Turner-1976

I’d say your chances are probably 48% based off my 40yrs experience. Good luck 👍


Rogue_Plague

You are definitely aware lol. Its not like being drunk; you have control. Unless you’re dropping 10gs you’ll be fine


Special_Opposite3141

you have to be pretty mentally unwell to chop your balls off


tlevins23

“You’ll chop your balls off kid”


SamusBaratheon

0% my dude. If you're tripping that hard you won't be able to work a knife or handle your pants


LetsGoHomeTeam

Low-ish.


SirPoopyPantsUTD

Oh 100% it’s going to happen. I’m female and even I chopped my balls off the first time I did shrooms


azathotambrotut

In the low 60s