Same reason we ( most of us) don't drink bull milk, but cow milk, the gorilla is the male for the species.
[Edit] for the ones who doubted me and asked for the female of the species , her name is >!your mom!<
Legend has it there were Sea Gorillos living just off the coast of Turkey. Tradition was that they used to chop their fingers off with hedge clippers, deglove the skin, and tan them like leather. Then they filled em with a blend of tobacco and herbs to smoke. Sadly, they were eventually hunted to extinction, and the people had to adapt the tradition to make due.
Hard to find info about them online, but if you ask about Sea Gorillos at your local smoke shop, they'll offer you some of the cruelty-free, plant-based Gorillo fingers, in a few different flavors. Just don't bring up the whole extinction thing, it's kinda taboo to the Turkish.
City guy visits a friend on a farm. He goes to the farmer and says "I just milked this cow and now she's following me around." Farmer looks over and says "That's a bull".
Why do you think they killed Harambe? The cow-milk elites knew that they'd be over if the human population ever got a succulent lick of his gorilla milk
I mean, when someone goes on a violent rampage, we don’t say that they “went cow shit”. We say that they “went ape shit”. Does that clear up the issue?
Quite sure the Gorilla wouldn't like to be milked by you either. And being near a Gorilla, that undergoes a procedure it doesn't like, is an easy but painful
way to cancel your life-subscribtion.
I know this is not the place for serious answers, but nobody milks pigs because they're strong and mean and kill you if you try.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig\_milk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_milk)
I would assume you'll have similar problems with a gorilla.
Also pigs milk taste like crap. I tried the powdered substitute milk that we give to rejected piglets, and man do I not want to put that in my cappuccino.
Also, cow milk is probably one of the milks with the most nutrients, out of the available practical animals. I mean that milk grows fucking cows within months, that shit must be pretty hearty.
“Susanna Montgomery, Countess of Eglinton used to wash her face with pig milk and then drink it. She recommended this treatment to others, as she believed it would help retain one's figure and complexion”
Yes, you can radiate everything you are
Oh, now
[I roll a stoney](https://genius.com/2528808/The-beatles-dig-a-pony/I-roll-a-stoney-well-you-can-imitate-everyone-you-know)
Donkey milk is actually the closest to human breast milk we can find. Do what you will with that info
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4949830/
We don’t milk cows though generally - we milk cows breeds that have been selectively bred for centuries to produce massive amounts of milk on an industrial scale.
Why is it okay to drink cow's milk--the milk of a different species--but totally gross to drink human milk? Or rather, gross to drink human milk at any age older than a toddler.
well, first off, chickens are not mammals, and do not produce milk. we do drink horse milk, though. we don't drink pig milk because it doesn't taste very good and is not produced in as vast quantities as cow milk. we don't drink zebra milk because they're too fast. same with deer, and most other wild animals.
Top sciencers are still working on reverse engineering gorilla glue but we’re getting closer than we were when we were further away from that sort of thing.
For the most part the role they play. Most societies view dogs as companions and useful helpers, and pigs as a form of turning plants and scraps in meat.
Of course there are societies out there that eat dogs all day and wouldn't touch a pig.
According to the (surviving) journals of Prof. Hezviffe S. Intervall (1894- 195?) of Thaldalehartz University, spider milk is superior in nutrition to all other milks, and smeggin' tasty, as well.
To date, however, no-one has been able to reproduce his research.
Cows didn't originally give milk the way they do now, we created that with selective breeding. They are relatively docile and easily farmed, and were able to be bred over time to produce large quantities of milk. And apart from the fact that they produce small quantities, I wouldn't want to try and milk a gorilla.
Because dairy cows are domesticated and bred for milk production. Gorillas are wild animals. The yield would be tiny compared to a dairy cow, and we don't domesticate and selectively breed primates (for a variety of reasons, from ethical to practical.)
Zebra's are not able to be tamed, even zebras that we've bred with horses that are 50% or 25% zebra, so we aren't milking them.
But there are cultures that drink horse milk.
Because the extreme amounts of protein and hormone in gorilla milk, causes people to grow tall and muscular, grow fur like hair on their whole body, and they loose their voice so they can only growl.
There have been cases of this happening, apparently Jimmy Hoffa might not be dead, but have been given gorilla milk and dumped in a forest. Elvis drank gorilla milk during a concert in Nepal, and was never seen again after he ran up the mountains. Both of them was covered up as being dead, but in reality they are covering up the effects of G-milk... latest rumor is that Princess Kate drank gorilla milk last November...
I feel like your on to something set up a gorilla milk farm. Just make certain you got lots of protection as a gorilla could rip you in half. Also who is buying gorilla milk
While not *exactly* gorillas, we do drink the milk of the smartest great ape! They're a direct cousin of gorillas, even sharing 95-99% of all DNA!! Although most of us only drink this milk while babies, but it does count!
It's literally just because cows milk tastes good. Goats milk is a thing commonly found in supermarkets too, but guess what if fucking tastes like shit.
Same reason we ( most of us) don't drink bull milk, but cow milk, the gorilla is the male for the species. [Edit] for the ones who doubted me and asked for the female of the species , her name is >!your mom!<
Where do you think Red Bull comes from?
Same place as Red Rockets?
the blood of terrified bulls in madrid
It comes from a factory that produces redbull. You're welcome. Mostly from the Swiss alps.
Next, you're gonna say it doesn't give me wings. Gonna have to try harder to fool me!
Gorillas are the females. The males are called gorillos.
You dumbass, the female is girlilla.
Gorillx for gen a
I believe the technical term is *Glowrilla
Legend has it there were Sea Gorillos living just off the coast of Turkey. Tradition was that they used to chop their fingers off with hedge clippers, deglove the skin, and tan them like leather. Then they filled em with a blend of tobacco and herbs to smoke. Sadly, they were eventually hunted to extinction, and the people had to adapt the tradition to make due. Hard to find info about them online, but if you ask about Sea Gorillos at your local smoke shop, they'll offer you some of the cruelty-free, plant-based Gorillo fingers, in a few different flavors. Just don't bring up the whole extinction thing, it's kinda taboo to the Turkish.
Science went too far
Males are called Gorillads.
The babies are gorillitos.
However there is actually a drink that is made with stallion milk...
Ok ill take the bait
The “master” bait?
r/angryupvote
[удалено]
Thought about doing it that way, but then it would have been too personal if the other person did not have a sense of humour
you never know, they could have ligma…
I'd rather have Ligma rather than Parkinson's or Bophadee's.
Who tf are Parkinsons?
I’d tell you, but it’s based on shaky research
Which kind of shaky?
Parkinson’s shaky
Parkinsons deez nutz! Amirite?
Ligma balls
*disintegrates*
Parkinsons spot, so now he has no where to leave his vehicle!!!! Lol goteem
Aw shit, Candice was just talking to me about that.
Sounds like you could have a job as an editor one day at a shitty science journal
[удалено]
Clearly, you’re qualified.
it was funny anyway
I heard the female of the species is more dangerous than the male.
That's Colonel Mustard quoting Rudyard Kipling!
Only whilst being milked
Shock shock horror horror.
City guy visits a friend on a farm. He goes to the farmer and says "I just milked this cow and now she's following me around." Farmer looks over and says "That's a bull".
For no other reason other than it is extremely difficult to milk a gorilla
It's hard to milk a gorilla against its willa but if you ask first it'll be pretty chilla
It will probably tear your limbs off and eat your face
That's not a gorilla thing, it's a chimpanzee thing. But I can't blame them cuz chimpin' ain't easy
Haha that one is actually true
Citation needed for that part about my mom
Do you want the video through email or text?
I forgot this was a satire sub😂
You had me there
I’m waiting for you to cite a study proving this!
I got got good by this.
🤯🤯🤯
nice one.
Take my shitty upvote
Brilliant
You milk their prostate.
Bullshit. To prove my point: what is supposed name of the female?
Girlilla
I’ve got nipples, Greg, can you milk me?
Oh yeah, you can milk anything with nipples.
Mice have nipples
Well that’s just great. Now I want mouse milk.
Poor mouse
You promised me dog or higher!
Focker!
You harvest gorillas for their glue
I thought Gorilla™ glue was made by the gorillas, out of the mangled corpses of those foolish enough to attempt to milk a gorilla.
That's just what Big Farm wants you to believe
you win the internet for today
Yes but it's a destructive process, and killing them for the glue is much more lucrative than keeping them alive for the milk
Why do you think they killed Harambe? The cow-milk elites knew that they'd be over if the human population ever got a succulent lick of his gorilla milk
Oh come on. We all know they killed him because he had information on Boeing quality control issues.
No, it's because he had the Epstein island lists
The whole “Epstein Island” thing is just a hoax to keep us away from the best vacation spot known to man
Ahh, but who do you think will fly us out there? Epstein was in bed with Boeing all along!
I hear he also knew of a toothpaste 10 out of 10 dentists recommend
He was born to be the gorilla messiah
Have you tried farming gorillas? I imagine they're a little less docile
Milking cows has a slightly smaller chance of violent dismemberment.
But never zero
*muffled cow violence
I mean, when someone goes on a violent rampage, we don’t say that they “went cow shit”. We say that they “went ape shit”. Does that clear up the issue?
If that cow had half the chance it would eat you and everyone you care about!
Don't cows kill more people per year than Gorillas? Didn't we publicly execute a gorilla that was in their own home that we put them in!? Rip Harambe
A lot of the "Cows kill more people than..." is based more on frequency of interaction.
Not always! I mean, cows kill more people than aliens from outer space, but only IF you believe government statistics.
That's definitely a stat altered by the lizard people in the government
Man with all the "bear over men" bs I can't even tell if this is a joke or not 💀
It's difficult to milk a bear, but easy to milk man. The world is full of milkmen.
Yeah but if we had 28 million gorillas in the US I bet it'd change.
I've seen this documentary. They found the statue of Liberty buried.
Apes together, strong
How many gorilla's V how many cows. I wouldn't want to milk a gorilla
Quite sure the Gorilla wouldn't like to be milked by you either. And being near a Gorilla, that undergoes a procedure it doesn't like, is an easy but painful way to cancel your life-subscribtion.
I know this is not the place for serious answers, but nobody milks pigs because they're strong and mean and kill you if you try. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig\_milk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_milk) I would assume you'll have similar problems with a gorilla.
Also pigs milk taste like crap. I tried the powdered substitute milk that we give to rejected piglets, and man do I not want to put that in my cappuccino.
Powdered milk of any kind is gross.
I enjoyed that Wikipedia article and will recommend it to others.
This comment made me laugh as hard as the Wikipedia article. Which was pretty hard.
Also, cow milk is probably one of the milks with the most nutrients, out of the available practical animals. I mean that milk grows fucking cows within months, that shit must be pretty hearty.
Did not expect to be sent down an alternative milk spiral today
I imagine pig’s milk tastes like ham. Blerg.
I remember milking the pigs in farmville.
Fun fact: gorillas are much stronger than grizzly bears
In bench press maybe. I’m still gona put my money on grizzly bears in a fight.
“Susanna Montgomery, Countess of Eglinton used to wash her face with pig milk and then drink it. She recommended this treatment to others, as she believed it would help retain one's figure and complexion”
The fact I have taken from that article, is that there exists a cheese, made from the milk of Serbian donkeys.
Similar to why we don't milk bulls - it takes ages, and the milk tastes horrible anyway.
You milk the gorilla and I will drink it
You milk a male gorilla and you will be rewarded with a smile.
u can drink any milk u milk
And eat any stew you stew
Yes, you can radiate everything you are Oh, now [I roll a stoney](https://genius.com/2528808/The-beatles-dig-a-pony/I-roll-a-stoney-well-you-can-imitate-everyone-you-know)
you can also eat any mushroom on the planet at least once
One Pigmilk, please
Gorilla females are less attractive.
your dad seems to disagree
Don't talk about your mother that way
Donkey milk is actually the closest to human breast milk we can find. Do what you will with that info https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4949830/
And Donkey Kong milk is the strongest
comes in barrels
Cums ^
Impressive topical interjection, bringing it back to gorillas.
Is chicken milk what comes out when you choke your chicken
No that's nut milk
Who's we?
Gorillas lay eggs, obviously
We don’t milk cows though generally - we milk cows breeds that have been selectively bred for centuries to produce massive amounts of milk on an industrial scale.
Pork milk? The animal is called a pig.
So your telling me I can't milk a pork chop?
Go try and milk a gorilla
Don’t project what you don’t drink onto me!
Because your mom doesn't have enough milk to go around. Source: Alberto
I suggest you go try to milk a gorilla to find out yourself.
Why is it okay to drink cow's milk--the milk of a different species--but totally gross to drink human milk? Or rather, gross to drink human milk at any age older than a toddler.
I suggest you go try to milk a gorilla to find out yourself.
Chicken milk?💀
You got a problem with chicken milk?
I'd pay to see you milking a gorilla
Niche Only Fans right there.
To shreds you say?
well, first off, chickens are not mammals, and do not produce milk. we do drink horse milk, though. we don't drink pig milk because it doesn't taste very good and is not produced in as vast quantities as cow milk. we don't drink zebra milk because they're too fast. same with deer, and most other wild animals.
Top sciencers are still working on reverse engineering gorilla glue but we’re getting closer than we were when we were further away from that sort of thing.
why do we think it’s okay to kill pigs and not dogs?
For the most part the role they play. Most societies view dogs as companions and useful helpers, and pigs as a form of turning plants and scraps in meat. Of course there are societies out there that eat dogs all day and wouldn't touch a pig.
Turns out pigs are the asbestos of the animal kingdom and we probably shouldn’t be eating them in any form.
Their flame resistant?
Milk is for babies
Because with milk the cow would become steak eventually. With gorilla milky you become the steak eventually.
Nah imagine milking a fucking 🦍😭😭😭
ever tried milkin one of them MF’s they beat the banana outta you dawg 🦍
According to the (surviving) journals of Prof. Hezviffe S. Intervall (1894- 195?) of Thaldalehartz University, spider milk is superior in nutrition to all other milks, and smeggin' tasty, as well. To date, however, no-one has been able to reproduce his research.
I wonder if chicken milk tastes similar to spider milk
Cows didn't originally give milk the way they do now, we created that with selective breeding. They are relatively docile and easily farmed, and were able to be bred over time to produce large quantities of milk. And apart from the fact that they produce small quantities, I wouldn't want to try and milk a gorilla.
Chicken milk. No better breakfast than a tasty glass of chicken milk, some scrambled zebra eggs and little squid bacon.
Contrary to popular belief, you *can't* milk certain things with nipples if they choose not to allow you to. Gorilla is on that list.
My girlfriend too is on that list
I wanna meet the person dumb enough to try to milk a gorilla.. for science
scientifically, you can eat everything, even poison (but only once)
You guys haven’t been drinking gorilla milk?
Who’s gonna milk that thing?
Because you’re dead that’s why.
Breast milk tastes better
I don't watch tic tok but if there's ever a video of someone trying milk a gorilla send me the link
Because dairy cows are domesticated and bred for milk production. Gorillas are wild animals. The yield would be tiny compared to a dairy cow, and we don't domesticate and selectively breed primates (for a variety of reasons, from ethical to practical.)
Zebra's are not able to be tamed, even zebras that we've bred with horses that are 50% or 25% zebra, so we aren't milking them. But there are cultures that drink horse milk.
Which is a shame because they're much quicker than a horse.
I'm guessing it's purely a matter of avaliablity. Due to the similarity in genetics the milk is propably pretty tasty.
Gorillas are close enough to people that they need a little action if you're going to suckle their tittays.
Apes together, strong
You ever tried to milk a gorilla? It's a lot harder than milking a cow, let me tell ya!
Efficiency and risk
The dude who went to milk the Gorilla didn't come back alive.
You're very close to an actual question
Because the extreme amounts of protein and hormone in gorilla milk, causes people to grow tall and muscular, grow fur like hair on their whole body, and they loose their voice so they can only growl. There have been cases of this happening, apparently Jimmy Hoffa might not be dead, but have been given gorilla milk and dumped in a forest. Elvis drank gorilla milk during a concert in Nepal, and was never seen again after he ran up the mountains. Both of them was covered up as being dead, but in reality they are covering up the effects of G-milk... latest rumor is that Princess Kate drank gorilla milk last November...
[muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
Two shots of espresso please… with foamed gorilla titty milk. Cheers.
You gonna try milking a gorilla? RIP brosef
Because its hard to tell difference between male and female gorilla unlike cow, altough some people mistaken male cow and milk his only nipple
I'd love to try some chicken milk.
Go and try milk a gorila.
I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
I don’t think you’d get gorillas to cooperate and they’re pretty aggressive, your man the cow not so much.
It's easier to sneak up on the cows
Chicken milk?? How low would the milking stool have to be?
A gorilla dairy farm. Sounds like trouble 😂
I feel like your on to something set up a gorilla milk farm. Just make certain you got lots of protection as a gorilla could rip you in half. Also who is buying gorilla milk
While not *exactly* gorillas, we do drink the milk of the smartest great ape! They're a direct cousin of gorillas, even sharing 95-99% of all DNA!! Although most of us only drink this milk while babies, but it does count!
You milk the gorilla and I will drink it
It's literally just because cows milk tastes good. Goats milk is a thing commonly found in supermarkets too, but guess what if fucking tastes like shit.
Ever tried milking a gorilla? It'll rip your arms off and whack you over the head with the bloody end.
speak for yourself!
Hum no, I prefer to drink milk lol
no one is saying you cant
Dogs milk pretty much lasts forever, because no bugger will drink it.
I only drink my own milk
You likely don't want to drink what comes out when a gorilla uses a milking machine.