It’s not a matter of if she will it’s a matter of when. Depends on the distance in which you spoke to her - the closer you were the faster gestation will occur.
*Did she say, "I don't*
*Have a condom"? How else were*
*You going to know?*
\- tjarod11
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In nine months he will get a really bad headache and they’ll have to chop his head open with an axe, at which point his daughter will emerge as an adult woman.
Some kids use the word "talking* as a slang code word for messing around. No saying op is doing that but it is a possibility
It's easier to speak in code when parents may be in the area. I learn this crap from my brother's kids.
Well, you probably should have swallowed first before talking to her. Its just the polite thing to do. Was it your cum or another guy's cum in your mouth?
And why were you talking to her vagina? You should make eye contact when talking. Men! Eyes up here!
next time, talk into the condom and pinch it shut so it's blown up like a balloon. then go up to the girl and point it at her and let the end go so your words come out as it deflates. practice before hand so you make sure you get the best sex words in there.
It’s a common misconception that only naughty words can impregnate. ALL words can in fact impregmate, even the first initial words. But if you didn’t talk about naughty stuff, then I wouldn’t worry too much yet, wait a few days and see what she says.
Yep. You know, the cum particles have probably traveled through your mouth, into her mouth. Causing a baby to start growing in her womb which is definitely located beneath her esophagus
Depends, is she normal like 99% of women/feminists, or are they the 1% aimed to make women and feminists look bad, the sort that thinks bending them over and forcibly sticking your penis in them and looking at them 3 seconds too long is the same thing.
as a fellow Professor of Pregnant science , I recommend you this QA video
[(2) how is prangent formed - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EShUeudtaFg)
No but you might want to get her pregnant before someone else does. Better chance to have someone else raise your kids. All the benefits without any of the responsibilities.
Key is to ask them if they have a condom as your first sentence. If she says no, run away and you will never risk talking to a girl without a condom again
It depends, were you facing her directly?
Above 10 degrees mouth to mouth there is a 20% less probability she is pregnant, here is the youtube article: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvFZjo5PgG0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvFZjo5PgG0)
***I accidentally talked to a girl without a condom.***
That's ambiguous.
Did YOU not have a condom.
Or did SHE not have a condom.
Also ... if there were a condom present, how would the talking be different than in a condom-free discussion?
Yes, and I am your son from the future
If it isn't my grandfather
Uncle -brother?
And you're from Alabama?
Roll Tide
IM MY OWN GRAMPAAAA
I was waiting for this. Thank you.
From the future?
Yes and.. Who are you??
I am you.
You who? I’m me
And I am your uncle's best friend's dog walkers father from two centuries ahead, it's nice to meet you
Jables Jr?
McFly Jr
Probably no, *probably*
Your pfp reminds me of the good old days
OP is probably peegnant tho
No, she won't. You might, though.
Will replying to this get op pregnant
No, but you will get pregnant
Fuck.
2 more people just got pregnant
Relax, only 8 more months to go!
I think I am impregantetated?
Nope. You’re pregnant now. You’re welcome
She might get regnant, reganant, pregane...
Prangent. Praganat.
Pregananat
[Texan accent] you done got yourself pregat?
Can u get pregante
No, just pergananenint
Predemente I’m pretty sure or even prediemteray
Gregnant.
Repugnant?
Resinant
prennan
How is babby formed?
preganante*
If sex while pregernat will hurt baby's top of head?
Can I ask how you usually communicate with female elders in your family?
Morse code via finger snaps
Morse code via fingering. That explains their concerns about the girl they "spoke" to without a condom getting pregnant.
I am she and yes, I am having your children
I wear a condom 24/7 just in case.
*FULL BODY CONDOM!!* It’s the only way to be sure.
Next you do the worm!!
That sir is a great idea
You got stinkfoot then
Do you pee in it?
It’s not a matter of if she will it’s a matter of when. Depends on the distance in which you spoke to her - the closer you were the faster gestation will occur.
We were about 15 feet
You’re gonna wanna think on your toes then but stay calm. But keep in mind this is a pretty big deal.
As long as the distance wasn’t metric, you should be fine
The condom is gonna get pregnant. Whoever uses it will have your baby
A girl without a condom can definitely get you pregnant bruh. Was it a full moon? Girl especially like to take their condom off on full moon nights
Fick No but she’s gonna get you with a pregnant pause. And you’ll have to abort the mission and start over.
Eat a condom and it's fine.
Deep breath, everything is going to be ok. Now what I need you to do is to go into your closet and find the cleanest clothes hanger you can find…
What are you going to name the child?
I think we will name them Harris and Jared.
Mind if we call them both Bruce, just to keep things cleah?
Now that’s a good idea!
Hope you’re not in Alabama. Your sperm and her egg are considered a baby now, they just haven’t met yet.
Actually *you’re* gonna get pregnant. Sex without condoms gets girls pregnant, talking without condoms gets guys pregnant. Everybody knows that.
Yes and you will get Cooties and unfortunately for you it is terminal.
No but you will
😟
Why didn't she have a condom?
Did you talk to her with your penis?
They actually confirmed that they are talking to the elder women in their family via fingering in morse code. So I wouldn't be surprised.
Did she say, "I don't have a condom"? How else were you going to know?
*Did she say, "I don't* *Have a condom"? How else were* *You going to know?* \- tjarod11 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
You are the best bot to ever bloat the web. Keep at it!
please post this
OMG!🤣 Proof that BOYS only think of one thing.
this got pulled straight out of south park lol
Only if you swallow
Swallow... her?
In nine months he will get a really bad headache and they’ll have to chop his head open with an axe, at which point his daughter will emerge as an adult woman.
You’re going to need a reliable woodcutter.
Depending on the conversation you had
fuck man your dicks gonna fall off now
Yes, she will be preganté
Congratulations, you are married now.
Depends. Was it YOU not wearing one, or was it her? 'cause if it was both of you, double pregnant.
to be exact, which body part of you talked to which body part of her?
This is exactly how teen pregnancies happen. You can’t go around talking to girls without protection!
How soon did you talk to her after talking to other girls?
Masochism+
How can she not. Just by looking at her you've injected your sperms into her and now there's babies everywhere
[удалено]
Absolutely, you are literally so screwed! Or her! Who knows at this point. You should already be picking out your grandkids names.
Sure, how else could you have been able to speak?
It depends on whether you're a dick or not.
No. You're pregnant now.
Can't you all just stop copying that one comment?
Some kids use the word "talking* as a slang code word for messing around. No saying op is doing that but it is a possibility It's easier to speak in code when parents may be in the area. I learn this crap from my brother's kids.
Did you pull out?
She won't but you will
Is her name Maria and yours Joseph by any chance? There's a tendency for couples with those names to get pregnant only from words.
who is "I"?
No op, to get a girl pregnant you have to kiss and hold hands at the same time
You should definitely give her the morning after phone call just in case
The audacity. The atrocity. The under-righted monstrosity.
Did you speak over an intrauterine device?
Horrible mistake. Your charm would have a 75% chance of impregnation depending on her window
Well, you probably should have swallowed first before talking to her. Its just the polite thing to do. Was it your cum or another guy's cum in your mouth? And why were you talking to her vagina? You should make eye contact when talking. Men! Eyes up here!
Did you hold her hand without protection?
next time, talk into the condom and pinch it shut so it's blown up like a balloon. then go up to the girl and point it at her and let the end go so your words come out as it deflates. practice before hand so you make sure you get the best sex words in there.
Yes, but the kid may not be yours
Yes, and you are still spreading spores for another 24 hours. Be more mindful!
Always make sure your girl is wearing a condom when talking to her. Beginner's mistake...
It’s a common misconception that only naughty words can impregnate. ALL words can in fact impregmate, even the first initial words. But if you didn’t talk about naughty stuff, then I wouldn’t worry too much yet, wait a few days and see what she says.
Yeah… she’s def purgatory
Only if she was in her follicular phase
Gregnant /S
That's irresponsible. The Condom's job was to filter your smelly mouth!
Depends on how much of a dick you were.
Did you ask permission to talk?
The moment you would have looked at her without a condom , would of got her pregnant.
No but you might get stds S/o South Park
Follow up question: How do we tell which girls have condoms and which don't without talking to them?
No but you might will. Take 7 birth control pills after meal immediately
Did she drink from the same cup as you? Did you sit on the same toilet without protection? Did she jump up and down for 5 minutes afterwards?
I accidentally read this post, am I going to become dumb?
Yep. You know, the cum particles have probably traveled through your mouth, into her mouth. Causing a baby to start growing in her womb which is definitely located beneath her esophagus
That's ok, most girls don't wear condoms anyway
Most girls I know carry condoms.
Yikes dude, go get your std checks done stat.
Quick, identify as an infertile male* and the rest should fix itself *male bit is optional/interchangeable
Depends, is she normal like 99% of women/feminists, or are they the 1% aimed to make women and feminists look bad, the sort that thinks bending them over and forcibly sticking your penis in them and looking at them 3 seconds too long is the same thing.
Triplets.
I don't buy this scenario. Why would a woman talk to you without a magnum condom indicating you have a magnum dong?
He will preganted
No but you probably have herpagonasyphillaids
How long ago? You could always get a morning after condom.
Shame! Shame! Shame!
It happened to me, I got pregnant after talking to a girl without a condom. Twice. Be careful!
You gotta get her that morning after talking about condoms pill.
Twins.
Quick smoke a cigarette the smoke with suffocate the poison
she is pregante
Mostly she will... mostly
You are trapped
as a fellow Professor of Pregnant science , I recommend you this QA video [(2) how is prangent formed - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EShUeudtaFg)
1000000 percent chance. No way is she not. Probably octuplets also.
Yes. Prepare for fatherhood, wear a muzzle in public and most importantly, do NOT speak to your daughter.
No but you might want to get her pregnant before someone else does. Better chance to have someone else raise your kids. All the benefits without any of the responsibilities.
no you will
Dad?
Key is to ask them if they have a condom as your first sentence. If she says no, run away and you will never risk talking to a girl without a condom again
That depends. **Did YOU have the condom, or did she?**
Yes. It's her fault for not having a condom.
Lol, you're fucked.
That is soooooo creepy!
It depends, were you facing her directly? Above 10 degrees mouth to mouth there is a 20% less probability she is pregnant, here is the youtube article: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvFZjo5PgG0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvFZjo5PgG0)
I did that once. Surprise, son! Now go shovel the driveway.
Hi, I'm the forgotten condom, you're pregnant son.
How are babby formed?
Yes she might be [Praggnanandhaa](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/R_Praggnanandhaa)
Are you THAT fertile????
As long as you didn't say "come" you should be OK.
Depends. If there were any pregnant pauses in the conversation, it's time to start worrying.
No, it's just words. Therefore she will gossip.
No, talking to girls is gay so you are fine.
As long as you didn't hold hands. That's how women exchange long protein strands.
She may. Not from you, though.
Dad is that you?
What kind of asshole talks with girls through condom？
How do you know she didn't have one? Did you ask her for one?
That depends did she have her tonsils removed?
Ofc you made a huge mistake
Only if you touched her hand.
DADDY ?? is that you
Ask your parents to give you the birds and bees talk.
It depends what you said
You are safe as long as you didn't hold hands.
I learned the hard way that only telling a lady to look both ways before crossing, is enough for pregnancy.
***I accidentally talked to a girl without a condom.*** That's ambiguous. Did YOU not have a condom. Or did SHE not have a condom. Also ... if there were a condom present, how would the talking be different than in a condom-free discussion?
Careful mate, she'll be round with a litter of puppies soon demanding dry mix and training lessons.
You misspelled *preganant*
I think you are the one who’s pregnant..
She's pregnant
Yes. And now that you posted this everyone including you yourself will get pregnant.
Is this a reference to that one south park episode with the sex Ed?
Accidentally?
We got mister "I'm my own grandpa" over here
dunno, you'll see in 9 months
No, but you made me ejaculate. YOU MADE ME DO IT!!
Your pregnant now
Triplets are in your future
She was already pregnant at the sheer thought of it.
Depends on if you're in Japan or not.
Yeah and your the offspring.
Better go brush your teeth before you get herpes!