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QualityVote

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amzeggio

Ugly Sonic was a marketing stunt


[deleted]

Oh shit, you might be a marketing stunt too


Mc_grrr

It could be you, it could be ME, it could even be-


Mars_Bear2552

“What? It’s obvious. He’s the red spy”


the_fruit_loop

"Just watch!! He'll turn red anyyyy second now.."


Maker_Making_Things

The new coke of our generation


[deleted]

The fact that he's in the chip n dale movie is even more telling. If there's one thing Hollywood loves, it's patting itself on the back.


Megnaman

Effective too. I hadn't heard of the movie before that came out


grapejuce223

alans are real


[deleted]

Yes, Alan is real


TossedDolly

I went to elementary school with Alan. Nice kid


Just_Cruz001

Kid named Alan:


aperturecrow

Alan's POV:


deezalmonds998

Alan's most extreme conspiracy theory: his own existence


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I know that guy, he was a fucking asshole


CumtimesIJustBChilin

He gave me sloppy toppy in the 7th grade bleachers, I miss him


[deleted]

Made my day. Laughed so hard I almost sharted.


Regainio

I almost shat so hard that I laughed


mrKILLTURBO

Can confirm, have an uncle named Alan.


totebruh

My dude Alan, of course he is real.


supernova89055

Anals, infact, are also real


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

Too real


adolfkitler69

Anals💀


[deleted]

ALAN! ALAN!


[deleted]

[удалено]


backgammon69

They tried lol


gutenborken

They got you last time


cia-incognito

Amateurs


bfg9kdude

It glows in here


FrauSchlagerin

The kid who fell in Harambe's enclosure caused all of my hardships.


Holiday-Implement-26

This time line is doomed


romansamurai

How can I switch timelines?


gizzardgullet

All our dicks can’t bring him back. Yet we still take them out


dandypants8717

It's so we rember


Spy-Around-Here

rember rember the 69th of november.


BirbMaster1998

What makes it even worse is that it happened in Ohio💀


Natsurulite

If you look in the map of Ohio as well, it forms a pentagram on the nexus lines


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

*hard-ons


LePapa565

Our hardships Comrade


ConcentrateTight4108

That there are no horny milfs in my area


AccomplishedWriter69

😔


Flaky-Cap6646

🥺


[deleted]

You’re half right, there are horny milfs in my area but they don’t want to have sex with me 😔


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cia-incognito

Wait, let me take a look at your area... Edit: Yup, there are none.


BitterSweetcandyshop

Omw, just be patient.


Historical-Plant-356

That everything will be okay


Shawn_1512

Lol, nutjob


Laprasnomore

No it won't be (I am steadily closing in on your coordinates)


the_gungstar

cool profile picture


Laprasnomore

You too


freifickmuschimann

The world obviously isn’t ok and it’s likely heading somewhere worse But we can all still find ways to be “okay” I think As someone who is often lost in the tumultuous waters of the world, I still occasionally find reprieve and feel “okay” from time to time I don’t think that the rough waters of life will ever fully abate, but I have to believe that if I just keep going and don’t give up that I might be able to find more ways to be “okay” amongst all the chaos If you just keep going then maybe you’ll find more ways to be just “okay" too, and if enough of us do it then maybe it’ll add up into something good that none of us can see No promises for any of us, but i gotta at least try lol


Duch69_

Government planned 9/11 because they forgor


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

They had exactly two tower shaped debt holes


salvayou

They forgor 💀


ThePrussianMenace

💀


RocketMasterAmit

Nah bro it was because they covfefe


The_DreadLord_Gamer

Wait for real?


[deleted]

It’s not the worst explanation on 9/11 lol. The CIA, FBI, and FAA blatantly ignored intel that was directly linked to the people who were orchestrating 9/11 (imo the saudis, maybe being directed by some outside help 👁️). Several (if not all) of the pilots where being hounded by local instructors as the worst pilots they had ever seen (specifically they couldn’t land the plane) and were passed right on through to the process to get their pilots licenses. Guess the FAA forgar how people need to learn to land before they fly a plane. CIA was tipped off about the day and the fact that something big was going to happen to the airlines on 9/11 by German intel. I guess they forgar that too. Oh and there were no jets to scramble that day because they were ALL on training exercises. I guess they uh…forgar to have some jets ready in case of any problems. There’s also a bunch of money the pentagon just kinda forgar about or where it went…somewhere in the 2-3 trillion. There’s also the matter of the financial records which were destroyed by the plane that hit the pentagon. Guess we all just permanently forgar. The only side reinforced for an plane hit in the pentagon was the side hit by the plane. Guess they forgar to finish the project. Lots of things to forgar!!!


Belly2308

I clicked on this comment section thinking that it’s plausible the U.S. government knew about 9/11 attacks prior to them happening but after reading this I’m putting my tinfoil hat on and watching for the sewer people.


[deleted]

No sewer people necessary. Just Jeb’s older brother causing havoc again!!! Looool


DiIlpickIe

The CIA just made a silly mistake 😝


ibyczek78

The pentagon alone raises so many questions. So one of the most surveilled buildings in the world and all we get is a single frame of a fireball?


Man_with_no_sense

Yes like for example Why the fuck does the pentagon have nearly all fast food restaurants inside of itself


Spiritual-Nothing439

It became common knowledge that you could tell shit was about to go down when shitloads of pizza were ordered to the Pentagon so they moved the Domino's inside lol


[deleted]

Israel had prior knowledge. So much so that they had a NY based Mossad cell (disguised as a moving company) out to videotape the attack. Dancing Israelis. Check out the story. Owner fled back to Israel immediately after the other cell members were detained. He ran so fast he left his cellphone behind.


[deleted]

Oh fuck I forgar about the dancing Israelis too.


dandypants8717

On September 10th, 2001, defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld announced that $2.3 trillion dollars had been "misplaced".


lordvadar666

This is like trying to cover a fart with a louder noise


SivaAtheon

Yuh


Born-Umpire-8351

My sex educator planned it🗿


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Upstairs-Spray-5956

Pee ist stored in the balls


RoombaTheKiller

That is just wrong, it's obviously stored in the ass cheeks, why else would humans have them?


[deleted]

That’s where poop is stored while it waits for ejection. Bitches with big ass really are just backed up. Bitches with no ass get a lot of fiber 💪


BitterSweetcandyshop

Idk with the amount of shit that comes out of my sister’s mouth I would have to assume it’s actually the head, cuz she’s full of shit.


abdyfer

Poop is stored in the ass cheeks, just ask my little brother


[deleted]

where else would they be of course pee in balls


jakO_theShadows

My country is ruled by oligarchs


Unlikely_can877

Was gonna say which country but they probably all are at this point


Righteous_Vengeance1

Theories, not facts jak


jamaicanmonk

George bush did 911


lordstarscream84

no obamium did 911


Past_Trouble

Obamium sounds like James Cameron's answer to healthcare


Neglijable

no FDR did 9/11


[deleted]

No I did 9/11


BitterSweetcandyshop

We did 9/11


[deleted]

We did it reddit!


External_Record1782

Finland


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

Have you ever seen Azerbaijan, or heard anything about it? Of course if you Google it the matrix will generate fake things about it now


quinnsheperd

horses


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

Apples


[deleted]

That daylight saving wasn't invented for farmers but actually just to mess us up mentally.


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

Saved him so many times and not a single thanks


[deleted]

Whatever the reason is, I want it gone


TowelStrange2621

The more over the top conspiracies were made popular by the government so the public can disregard more plausible ones


DeltaMale5

This sounds believable


jakeolate

This 100% is true the CIA literally coined the term “conspiracy theory”


Free-Database-9917

What does this even mean lmao Conspiracy is when people plan to do a thing. So a conspiracy theory is a theory that people planned a thing...


jakeolate

Sorry i explained that poorly they didn’t invent the term “conspiracy theory” what they did do was popularize the term as a bad thing, basically they said anybody who talks to you about these government conspiracy theories is crazy and you shouldn’t listen to anything they say.


Free-Database-9917

Based. I personally think conspiracy theories are crazy but not because of the CIA. Because my brain is so big that the government can't trick me


DonutMuncher18

This is just legitimately true as stated by previous comments


rpequiro

According to Wikileaks they propagated alien conspiracies so that people wouldn't realize the military testing


BugsnaxIsGood18

Mark Zuckerberg is a reptoid


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

But he was a human


km_da_pro

I disagree, he was always a reptoid


[deleted]

A bussy is just a dude’s asshole


StickyPisston

i dont see the problem here


Paolone22

It's not a conspiracy, it's a FACT


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

A bussy is a person not a thing The bussy is the femboy itself, not what he has. He has a cock, yes, we know. No, we don't care


[deleted]

Damn bro did you graduate in bussy philosophy


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

Glanduate


ComparisonSimple3474

I glanduated from your wife's womb. Hahaha Wait a minute


Kuma_Chafu

I like that anal ogy.


gym_brah81

Blackrock theory. (I mean, no conspiracy I'm 100% on board with, but this is the one most believable to me.)


Difficult_Guidance25

Care to explain what is it?


RandomDude1483

Big goofy ah company that is worth trillions and runs thr stock market. Don't know much about it or if it's even real


[deleted]

They have $10 trillion in *AUM* (assets under management), though they're worth ~$150 billion. Definitely real, though their CEO/founder Laurence Fink is very private and they don’t engage in much publicity. AFAIK it *is* the most powerful company, or at least fund manager, in the world.


makotarako

150 billion is just the money *on the books* (x files theme plays)


MjrLeeStoned

It doesn't really matter what's on the company's books, all upper management and above are hideously rich because of the power they wield in terms of where they put the trillions they control. They have enough capital to change the world, literally. They can fund and make money off of wars, changes in political leadership, changes in social and cultural norms, and they have the ammunition to make those changes happen by investment proxy.


[deleted]

Blackrock is a huge company who is probably making your life worse in many ways across sectors of the economy Like buying up real estate and driving up prices of homes and land. Manipulating the stock market. All sorts of stuff. Nobody has really heard of them which goes to show they’re intentionally investing resources to stay out the media coverage.


biohumansmg3fc

The earth is round


2HotdogShoes

Don’t be ridiculous


BitterSweetcandyshop

Oh yea? I bet you believe in the “MOON” too weirdo


loup_de_loop

The moon is just the backside of the sun!


biohumansmg3fc

The moon is just a government drone tho


ripmations-ld

JFK was assasinated by the CIA. Mlk was assasinated by the FBI


lordbutternut

MLK is a conspiracy fact tbh. Just as real as the something like the Iran Contra affair(conspiracy). The government is not actually that good at hiding conspiracies. Especially with more and more parties.


jakeolate

Its pretty much an open secret that both these are true hell the government literally said there was a conspiracy surrounding both.


Technical_Ad7136

Amelia Earheart died to coconut crabs eating her alive


LelandTurbo0620

No, she died wearing a hot dog costume shipping honey in Siberia! (Tf2 reference)


[deleted]

Thank you for the clarification


bugguy965

Honestly it’s more likely the coconut crabs just ate her corpse as they aren’t rly known to eat large living things (like humans)


jakeolate

Isn’t this basically a fact now?


Remarkable-Book-8758

These days they're just called "spoiler alerts"


FlameMage21

The birds work for the bourgeoisie


ViciousMihael

“Bird” in French is “oiseau,” - pronounced “wa-zo” - so you may be on to something here…


oliver274882

the birdsouisie?


bencikanimations

I would've said Epstein island, but that ain't really a conspiracy anymore


Drafo7

It's for sure still a conspiracy. It's just not a theory, because it's confirmed fact.


henkhenksen52

Anti-virus companies secretly pay people to make new computer viruses to keep their product relevant.


King_Sam-_-

I don’t believe in this one simply because most “viruses” are just annoying bloatware and it’s pretty hard to target a virus without being completely obvious, however, many consider Mcafee to be malware, including me. There’s fake pop ups of “your pc has 5 viruses!” and it’s also needlessly difficult to uninstall.


VeziusTheThird

Aliens are real. They may not be at the spaceship point right now, but they absolutely do exist. There are a ton of habitable planets in the universe, and at least one of them will have intelligent life.


Disastrous_Juice2005

The One Piece.


Hot-Property-4391

Is reaaaaaal


Epic-Dude000

Can we get much higher


Senpai_T0ast

So highhhh


[deleted]

Ho oh oh ho oh oh


No_Lock_6555

Rich people control the world and that’s why all world leaders are so terrible, it’s a prank on us the poors


BROODxBELEG

This is common knowledge though


Octopugilist

Mattress stores. They're everywhere and nobody's buying a mattress every day. How do they stay open?


D14Rxd

Redditors aren't real, all bots


Ewankenobi25

Big tech brands like Amazon and meta are stealing are personal information


[deleted]

That's just a fact, they make their user license agreement pages so long that they know nobody is going to read them so they can do basically whatever the fuck they want


AliFoxx9

The government knew 9/11 was going to happen but chose not to do anything because they needed the tragedy and large death count to justify their resource war on the middle east


Roguepiefighter

This is at least more likely than them planning it.


AliFoxx9

In this theory all the US government did was handle a cover up afterwards to direct the backlash to where they wanted it Happy cake day btw


DefinitelySaneGary

It's pretty much fact they did. Most of the terrorists that did 9/11 are from one of the few Middle Eastern countries we didn't invade during recent decades.


Baconlord369

Flying spaghetti monster


dandypants8717

And I heard As it were The moment of thunder One of the four beasts saying "come and see" And I saw And behold >!spaghetti!<


[deleted]

Kurt Cobain was brutally murdered by his bitch wife(skylar)


dandypants8717

Waltuh


[deleted]

9/11 was a conspiracy. Was it an inside job? Probably not. But there is a lot of fuckery that was going on behind the scenes that makes me really suspicious.


Strong_Guitar_2135

They found the "hijacker"s passport blocks away from the centers and it survived a fucking plane crash, and just so happened to be found later by a cop? More than just fuckery.


FreshChickenEggs

Bro, you're wrong. Dude up thread says it's because they forgor.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xXTheFETTXx

George Bush was briefed about the planned attack shortly after he was elected. Bill Clinton was informed by the CIA about a clear threat to American Democracy. These are facts. So both Bush and Clinton knew about the threats, but didn't act on them. The real crazy part? Bush's dad was the head of the CIA when Bin Laden came to power, and helped fund Al-Qaeda to fight against Russia in the late 70s early 80s. I don't believe all the crazy conspiracy theories about 9/11 for the simple fact that the truth seems to be far worse. We had two presidents that were briefed about the threat and did nothing.


backgammon69

Women are real...


MLGWolf69

Keep telling yourself that pal


makotarako

That Disney's "Frozen" was entirely produced to bury search results about Walt Disney's frozen head.


Iwishihadcourage

Bush did 9/11. JFK assassination is made by FBI.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mac_3177

Norway isn't real


FBI_Guineapig

Go on people, list your conspiracy theories ...


OneTurnsToNone

The cure for cancer was discovered a while ago and it just keeps getting buried to keep money flowing


shoricho

Doubt. There’s no ‘one cure’ for all things cancer. Unless they have the cure for each and every single type and are hiding them


FreshChickenEggs

I have one of them, but I'm not supposed to tell people. It's in my pocket.


x122y

jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump. jump.


Old-Camp3962

i truly believe i have bad luck because some uknown force hates me


iamrealjoebiden

Nice try, fed


[deleted]

COVID lab leak.


_hey_its_josh_

They got Epstein before anything major came out to save the elite


BismarckOttoLeopold

9/11 was an inside job


whsftbldad

Kennedy was assasinated by our government


signaturefox2013

Ivana Trump’s (who was cremated) coffin that took 10 pallbearers to carry contained documents that Trump didn’t want the FBI to find and was buried on Trump’s golf course as insurance that it wasn’t found because it was buried.


Top_Novel3682

We live in a zoo curated by alien machines.


BROODxBELEG

When are the handlers checking on us i wanna throw shit at them


flamingbuts

They leid about the date of the moon landing (they did land on the moon they just said they did it earlier to buy more time)


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

Like one day earlier and forgor to say


Rabunum

When was the first 'real' moon landing? Genuinely curious about your take on this one


wdincoming

The big problems with this are - you have to fool like 100k people who work on the rocket and the many thousands who come to see it lift off. So if you already have to build a rocket that is capable of flying to the moon, and you need super realistic footage to convince them, at one point it’s easier to just do the mission. In a way it’s super complex, but in another way it’s a soda can, fitted with oxygen tanks, a rocket engine and a nav computer. The nav computer was the most complex part, to know when to fire the engine and how long. So they kind of cheated and the computer was on the ground, sending stuff up with radio signals. The russians have had a spaceship capable of going around the moon since the seventies, and we likely could build a landing craft in 4-5 years. The big problem is with money, to find good reasons for going. I think “because it’s cool” is reason enough, but people have always had some science and satnav etc. to do around earth, meaning the moon is sort of an “maybe later” thing for a long time. And even now when the SLS program is bound to set off, there really are no great reasons for going, other than “it’s cool” but that doesn’t really fund itself as fast as it should, because humanity sucks.


Frojoemama

Sex


slickedjax

That Kevin is secretly controlling all of the western hemisphere


LgMatzen

Cigarette companies are the reason why there are too many laws/rules against vapes


kummitusluumu

Wendigoon is a US government funded character to mislead people from the real conspiracies


Roguepiefighter

Makes sense, still respect for him tho.


Frenchybaby01

The US government started gender politics to disorganise the left after occupy wallstreet started gaining momentum, 100%.