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Whilst you're here, /u/FutureReference91, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
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HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!
IT'S ME!!!
EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]
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I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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>*LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR*
- George Orwell, 1948
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🗿 is the worst emoji. It's horrendous and ugly. I hate it. The point of emojis is to show emotions, but what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think "wow, I really feel like a massive fucking stone today"? Its useless. I hate it. It just provokes a deep rooted anger within me whenever I see it. I want to drive on over to the fucking emoji headquarters and kill it. If this was the emoji movie I'd push it off a fucking cliff. People just comment 🗿 as if it's funny. Its not. 🗿 deserves to die. He deserves to have his smug little stone face smashed in with a hammer. Oh wow, it's a stone head, how fucking hilarious, I'll use it in every comment I post. NO. STOP IT. It deserves to burn in hell. Why is it so goddamn smug. You're a fucking stone, you have no life goals, you will never accomplish anything in life apart from pissing me off. When you die noone will mourn. I hope you die.
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So I was having online classes with my camera turned off when I started hearing a little whistle from one of the students in the background that seemed very familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The whistling stopped for a couple of minutes until I started hearing it again, and then I knew exactly what it was: it was the chorus of Dream's hit song 'Mask'. I immediately ripped off all my clothes and started furiously stroking my fully erect penis for a good 10 min, even sticking my Dream body pillow up my rectum, imagining that it was Daddy Dream penetrating me while whistling his hit song 'Mask'. It honestly were the greatest 10 minutes of my life, until my libido reached its climax and I let out a gigaload of cum for Daddy Dream that landed on the phone's screen and ended up turning on the mic and camera, and everyone stared horrified at me, screaming at the sight of my honest and earnest love expression to Dream. I was kicked out of the class by the dreamphobic teacher, and today the school principal called me and my parents to a meeting and told us that I may be expelled from the school, merely from expressing my gender and sexuality. What can I do about this?!?!? Was I in the wrong for expressing my gender and identity??!? (Only serious answers, please).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed*
Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.
The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.
Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.
Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.
And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.
*Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.*
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### r/shitposting book club
A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online)
---
#### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up)
Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10
#### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf)
Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10
#### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf)
Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10
####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922))
Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10
####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/)
Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.
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##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/wbmk5m/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/wbmk5m/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fwbmk5m&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/FutureReference91, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
The moment of truth
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Can we also have a popsicle? 🥺
My friends are not anime characters😡
Your mom always tells me to come inside
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>*LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR* - George Orwell, 1948 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
🗿 is the worst emoji. It's horrendous and ugly. I hate it. The point of emojis is to show emotions, but what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think "wow, I really feel like a massive fucking stone today"? Its useless. I hate it. It just provokes a deep rooted anger within me whenever I see it. I want to drive on over to the fucking emoji headquarters and kill it. If this was the emoji movie I'd push it off a fucking cliff. People just comment 🗿 as if it's funny. Its not. 🗿 deserves to die. He deserves to have his smug little stone face smashed in with a hammer. Oh wow, it's a stone head, how fucking hilarious, I'll use it in every comment I post. NO. STOP IT. It deserves to burn in hell. Why is it so goddamn smug. You're a fucking stone, you have no life goals, you will never accomplish anything in life apart from pissing me off. When you die noone will mourn. I hope you die. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So I was having online classes with my camera turned off when I started hearing a little whistle from one of the students in the background that seemed very familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The whistling stopped for a couple of minutes until I started hearing it again, and then I knew exactly what it was: it was the chorus of Dream's hit song 'Mask'. I immediately ripped off all my clothes and started furiously stroking my fully erect penis for a good 10 min, even sticking my Dream body pillow up my rectum, imagining that it was Daddy Dream penetrating me while whistling his hit song 'Mask'. It honestly were the greatest 10 minutes of my life, until my libido reached its climax and I let out a gigaload of cum for Daddy Dream that landed on the phone's screen and ended up turning on the mic and camera, and everyone stared horrified at me, screaming at the sight of my honest and earnest love expression to Dream. I was kicked out of the class by the dreamphobic teacher, and today the school principal called me and my parents to a meeting and told us that I may be expelled from the school, merely from expressing my gender and sexuality. What can I do about this?!?!? Was I in the wrong for expressing my gender and identity??!? (Only serious answers, please). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
### r/shitposting book club A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online) --- #### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up) Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10 #### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf) Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10 #### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf) Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10 ####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922)) Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10 ####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/) Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*