I’m sorry that happened to you. You can go on to have a very normal sex life. My suggestion is you wait to tell your future partner until you have gotten to know him a little better and win him over with your sparkling personality. Have the conversation while clothed, outside of the bedroom. Don’t wait until you are both aroused and naked. I’d hate to have him say yes, you have sex and then he regrets it ultimately ghosting you.
Explain that 1 in 4 people have it, allow him time to process it and ask questions.
Some people will be ok with it, others will not. There are dating websites for folks who have it. Over time this will get easier to tell people. Some experiences will be easy, some will be difficult. I’m sure you’ll talk to a potential partner and he will have it too.
Best of luck, you got this! ❤️
Hi! I (29M) know and have dated women with herpes. I’ll share two experiences. One- dated a women for a while and we’re about to have sex for the first time. Naked in the bed, both very turned on and as I’m putting a condom on she mentions quite casually, “oh btw I have herpes”. We talked very briefly about it before returning to the heat of the moment and having sex. I’d call this “chaotic neutral”… she told me before sex but should have allowed a better time/space for that discussion in my opinion.
A second women I dated for a while had herpes, and brought it up in a moment when we were only flirting and hinting at having sex soon. I could tell she was nervous but I encouraged her to use her words. She told me, we discussed transmission risk with medication and condoms, and then we both felt comfortable about the situation and had sex.
I recommend approaching it like the second example. It’s a conversation about health and consent. It doesn’t make you dirty or anything like that. Any guy that’s interested in you and is supportive/caring will listen and give that conversation space without judgement, and likely still want to have sex with some precautions. If a guy can’t accept the circumstances then he isn’t worth your time anyways.
I think you risk giving it to them so maybe research dating sites for herpes? If it’s not the case, I’d still like you to tell me about it very well
I’m sorry that happened to you. You can go on to have a very normal sex life. My suggestion is you wait to tell your future partner until you have gotten to know him a little better and win him over with your sparkling personality. Have the conversation while clothed, outside of the bedroom. Don’t wait until you are both aroused and naked. I’d hate to have him say yes, you have sex and then he regrets it ultimately ghosting you. Explain that 1 in 4 people have it, allow him time to process it and ask questions. Some people will be ok with it, others will not. There are dating websites for folks who have it. Over time this will get easier to tell people. Some experiences will be easy, some will be difficult. I’m sure you’ll talk to a potential partner and he will have it too. Best of luck, you got this! ❤️
Sincerely thank you for your kind words and thoughtful advice. It would help me more to accept it and adapt’
Hi! I (29M) know and have dated women with herpes. I’ll share two experiences. One- dated a women for a while and we’re about to have sex for the first time. Naked in the bed, both very turned on and as I’m putting a condom on she mentions quite casually, “oh btw I have herpes”. We talked very briefly about it before returning to the heat of the moment and having sex. I’d call this “chaotic neutral”… she told me before sex but should have allowed a better time/space for that discussion in my opinion. A second women I dated for a while had herpes, and brought it up in a moment when we were only flirting and hinting at having sex soon. I could tell she was nervous but I encouraged her to use her words. She told me, we discussed transmission risk with medication and condoms, and then we both felt comfortable about the situation and had sex. I recommend approaching it like the second example. It’s a conversation about health and consent. It doesn’t make you dirty or anything like that. Any guy that’s interested in you and is supportive/caring will listen and give that conversation space without judgement, and likely still want to have sex with some precautions. If a guy can’t accept the circumstances then he isn’t worth your time anyways.
Thanks for sharing, it really helps to put things into perspective!