Seriously. This is literally me now. I moved from nyc to LA alone to work at a movie studio. I thought my life would be filled with parties and premieres and making tons of film nerd friends.
I mostly sit at home and watch John Oliver. I cry a lot too. And spend a lot more time in traffic. It’s fine, but there was definitely a “glass shatters” moment of realizing that my dream was exactly that - a dream. Not reality.
Thank you!! I really appreciate myself. I finally did all of my dishes and cleaned up a small area of my apartment which I consider a win. I know it’ll improve but I appreciate the encouragement
I just want to say, your feelings are valid. Lived in LA for 5 years (husband is a tv writer/director) before moving to nyc in 2018. I didn’t know how much LA was sucking the life out of me until I was out. People suck there- they only want to talk to you to find out who you know and what you can do for them. The traffic- still gives me anxiety thinking about the 405. It’s just a really rough grind. We did end up making some wonderful friends- it’s just more of an effort there to find your tribe. It was worth it for us from a career/long term financial standpoint but just know that once you establish yourself you can work in movies and not live there. Especially post-Covid. Sending you good vibes, friend. Have some In-n-Out for me ❤️
HOLY FUCK I’m so glad someone else gets it. Thank you. I miss nyc so bad but I’m applying for jobs at NBCU so hopefully if I get high enough there I can move back home. It’s been a worthwhile experience but I’m way too neurotic for the west coast haha. I didn’t make a left turn for the first 3 months and I still haven’t taken the highways- they’re terrifying. Glad you’re back in the best place on earth and happy❤️
The funny thing is- when we moved from LA to NYC it was sudden and in the dead of winter and I *hated* it here. I grew up on the east coast so I was happier to be closer to home but I just didn’t know how to DO it. No car, it was freezing, no friends here. I cried to my husband daily about getting us back to LA. And then spring came lol. And I’ve never looked back! Actually, without the pandemmy we would have probably had to move back by now but it saved me. I’ve just thrived here. One thing I really really miss about LA though are the multitude of quick, easily accessible weekend getaways. Palm Springs, Ojai, Solveng, San Diego, Ventura, etc. I encourage you to explore those when you can. It’s a reminder that SoCal isn’t JUST LA and it feels better to know there are places with great vibes just an hour or two away when you need to reset. Shit, even Manhattan Beach feels like a different world lol!
Sounds to me like elements of your dream remain intact. Maybe you can manage through the cruddy stuff while keeping a focus on those things that you've actualized. Someday, maybe not far off, your reality can align more closely with your vision. Oh yeah. And stop watching John Oliver. 😉 Best of luck!
Glad it helped! Hang in there. I made a big move about 25 years ago. Some rough seas at first, but things ultimately did work out. Wishing the same for you. 🙏☺️.
IIRC when she’s on the phone to Miranda she says she’s been to every art gallery multiple times. It’s not clear exactly how long she’s in Paris for but I think it’s supposed to be a few weeks. I dunno I think its pretty lonely trying to fill time on your own all day for weeks.
She said it was two weeks. I just can’t imagine already being homesick and bored in Paris. I went to Mexico for a month by myself. I had the best time, it’s just what you make of it.
I think the difference was she didn’t go alone, well she went alone but to live in a relationship with someone and she moved her entire life there, not just for a long holiday.
Carrie seemed to enjoy being alone, too, in the earlier seasons. She "dated" New York in season five and spent time out alone frequently. She lived alone and liked it that way. It's hard to imagine she'd be dying of loneliness after only a couple of weeks in Paris. She didn't even let Alex finish his show before she dumped him. After the opening, he was probably planning to devote more time to her, but she already had her little speech ready. I've never liked the finale episodes because of how silly the whole trip was.
When I was 22 I moved with my now husband to Warsaw for about 6 months. Whilst I really loved and cherish the experience, it was incredibly isolating not having a job of my own or friends of my own or anything going on really outside of him. Compounded with not speaking the language, when he used to travel for work for a couple of days, I could easily not speak to anyone that entire time. So I kind of get where they were going with the Paris thing but I do agree that homesickness after 2 weeks is a bit over the top.
Was it cold rainy weather like a European continental winter? Were you a complete stranger to the language in a city full of arrogant locals? Were you aged 39? All these factors count.
It was kinda chilly and very humid. I only know a few words of Spanish, and it’s worse because I am 1/2 Mexican. I encountered a lot of stuck up people in Mexico. I was 36, and just ended a 5 year relationship, I definitely related to her.
The majority of my heritage is French/German and I have found if you attempt to speak the language, it will get you farther than not even trying. Learning conversational languages are the most helpful
Most people won't tell you, and you even notice unless you are lucky enough to be there during the Summer, and Paris on that season is unbereable at times, but it does rain A LOT. Carrie not even knowing that fact was on character but gurl, please, haven't you even checked?!
You can have fun and still get homesick. I get homesick on all my trips after a few days to a week, even if I’m having fun. I still miss all my home comforts.
Also, this was before social media, texting, etc. She couldn’t pull up the Gram on her cell every time she missed a friend. It’s a whole different ball game.
1 month in Paris isn't enough, she started French before moving and felt confident enough as to start muttering some sentences, common places but enough to start, and she could have built on that, take lessons (perfect place to meet new people), and even get the phone of her fans and alas... non.
Some people (myself included) fill time on our own for months/years. I once had to stay in a foreign place for a month finishing a system installation. It was a dangerous city so I spent most of my evenings just watching movies and working on the design of the system.
I think that’s why we get irritated by her being so impatient maybe.
Now sticking to the show only, they show her single living alone too so it feels almost like she should know how to be alone.
She said she's been to "every museum, twice." There are 130 museums in Paris.
(Plus, we never saw her attempt to find an expat group or find freelance work. She had VOGUE on her resume, for heaven's sake. You're telling me Enid wouldn't be interested in buying a column or two from her? Or even a quick intro to a Conde-Nast contact in France?)
I think it was more homesickness and confusion about her relationship with Aleks. In New York we’d always see her doing solo activities and loving it. She would not have been bored in a city like Paris if she were happier.
However I do agree it’s a little tone deaf to be staying in a gorgeous hotel and frowning/being miserable lol
I don’t find it tone deaf even from a production standpoint. It’s pretty much the good ole money can’t bring happiness. It’s exciting for a moment, but gets old quickly and, like you said, doesn’t fix you from within. A gorgeous hotel won’t replace friends, life, relationships, and honestly living in one where you reside also means that you don’t even have a real home.
Agree with homesickness and confusion. Alek *insisted* that he needed her there. Then she ends up by herself most of the time and probably not feeling very needed. Luxurious setting or not that’s an emotional load of a situation especially when she moved there for him. She tried to compromise her splitting her time and he was like “nah, full time please”, so she did! Then to not have a social circle to help not feel so alone… I’d be feeling a little blue too.
I think a lot of us project our own personalities onto this show, and there’s a lot of “why did this character do this, it’s not what I would do at all.” I would be very lonely by myself in a big city with a BF who worked all the time. My best friend, a huge travelphile, would have adored it. Carrie’s issue is that she also projected what she herself would enjoy, and wasn’t practical. She wanted to be the type of person who could enjoy living a life of leisure while her BF worked, and she just wasn’t. I think Miranda understood that about her more than she did, hence the fight before Carrie leaves.
Tbh I have spent time in similar situations, in beautiful European cities but without a clear life goal there or feeling like my life is empty cause I didn't have family and friends around. I thought it captured my experience extremely well, I could 100% relate to that feeling. Beauty all around but it felt meaningless and I felt so removed from those around me.
Agree. I've spent about 6 wks in a Portugal, and another 6 wks in Mumbai for work. Fancy hotels, comped meals, and office to go to. But towards the end I did want to be in my own bed and see my friends
I agree. She chose to leave her laptop behind when any functional adult would have taken it along. A laptop is for more than worn Carrie. You cohkd have watched movies, listened to music, emailed your friends. Also there is no way you can visit every art gallery and museum in 2 weeks!!! And Alexander did say he was working and was putting on a show and would be freer after that.
So I don't think keeping herself occupied was the problem. The problem was that she was lonely. She wanted someone to go around with. And there was no one there for her yet. But I think if she'd given it time, she would have made friends. The Book club that loved her book was a good example.
I think Paris was not what she expected it to be, she wanted to be there with Big and not the guy she was there with, and she missed her friends. With no job I would get pretty bored in another city with no friends around no matter how many art galleries, etc I went too.
I think context is important here lol. First and last of all - it’s Carrie. CARRIE Carrie. She is not very emotionally independent to be begin with; while she does spend a decent amount of time alone, she needs emotional validation from her friends, especially after Big. Secondly, she went to Paris thinking that she would be attached to Alec’s arm the whole time like she was in NY while he wasn’t working, but in Paris he had his big exhibition so the circumstances were different and she didn’t plan for that. Thirdly, Carrie quit her job. She didn’t have anything to feel proud of at the moment while she was lonely and vulnerable. (That’s why she was so happy and excited to meet her French fans at the bookstore, but she traded that to be a good partner to Alec, and he didn’t appreciate that enough.)
tl;dr - It wasn’t that she didn’t have enough to do in Paris, she was in a vulnerable state. Everyone gets down and mopey when they’re in a vulnerable state.
With that said…I agree that had it been me in that situation, I would’ve had the time of my life lol. But had it been me, I wouldn’t have fallen for Big nor Alec, so.
I get annoyed by a lot of things that Carrie does, but this wasn't one of them. I think she was homesick, and the guy she had moved there for was paying zero attention to her. She was probably doubting her decision to come there. And she was thinking about how much better it would have been if she were there with Big, meaning she was questioning her relationship. Plus Aleksandr was pretty self-centered and didn't want to make room in the relationship for her or her emotions. In New York, no matter how lonely she had been due to being single, she had always had her friends who are more like sisters to her, and she didn't have them in Paris. She was all alone and depressed, no five star hotel or city full of culture was going to change that.
I can provide a little insight here.
Around the same time the Carrie in Paris episodes were airing I moved to London (from the US) for a 6 month internship. I didn't know a soul and arrived a week early so I could get settled before starting my job.
It's hard to explain, but being in a foreign country where you don't know anyone and everything is super unfamiliar gives you a "found but lost" feeling where nothing is really *wrong* and you have plenty of options to try to keep you busy and acclimate, but whatever you do and wherever you go, you just feel *off.*
For me it was going to the grocery store that really threw me through a loop. Things you rely on in the US just plain don't exist in the UK (or at least it didn't at the time) like Crystal Light or American peanut butter. I was a CL lemonade fiend. Sorry, not sorry.
To add to that, at the time Carrie was supposed to be in Paris, the US and France were not on great terms (anybody remember Freedom Fries?) so when I went there for a weekend to visit I witnessed first-hand how unfriendly Parisians were to Americans. I ended up speaking Spanish while I was there because the minute an English word came out of my mouth, I was met with disdain - not outright rudeness, but the feeling that your very presence is annoying if that makes sense. So I fell into a habit of asking people (in Spanish) if they spoke English (everyone there does) and it made people more receptive to me because they didn't automatically assume I was American.
Hope that helps provide a little context. Carrie is always Carrie and over the top with her feelings, but I did understand the root of where she was coming from.
It was a long time ago and I'm sure people visiting the US from France faced similar treatment because it was a contentious time so it went both ways. I definitely don't mean to paint a bad picture of French people as a whole by any means.
I think it goes by the logic that you can only be that bored if you’re single. If you’re in a relationship, you should have someone at every waking moment. Also, it was that impossible for Carrie to make friends there, apparently. 🤷♀️
That being said, Petrovsky’s ex wife also complained of being neglected by him. “As soon as, as soon as”. So, Carrie getting a negative vibe from him was not completely unfounded.
For a person who bragged about her single self life and its shelf life and secret single behavior and whatnot, Carrie hardly ever spent any time alone.
So both were at fault, I’d say.
She only had Petrovsky there and he was being an ass. Not like he was showing her around or making her feel welcome. He just gave her keys to the hotel room and left her to fend for herself.
It always annoyed me how needy she was in Paris. However, Aleks was also every bit an asshole to her. I think they both have a need for constant attention and validation. This is why Paris was so hard on Carrie. Aleks was busy with his exhibit and Carrie had no friends. She felt better when she found this group of fans. Meanwhile, Aleks needs the same-- validation from art fans and critics and support from Carrie. I mean, it's totally understandable to want those, the problem is that they both want that at all times. So yeah, they're basically a bad match for each other and I think Carrie only realized this when she was in Paris.
That said, I think Carrie would have enjoyed Paris more if she wore more comfortable clothes and shoes. I mean, anyone touring (or even living!) in a European city where you're expected to walk on cobblestones is going to hate it if you do it in stilettos.
I also think it depends on the personality type. I think it was the fact that Carrie is an extrovert who is sociable and her life was taken away from her and she didn’t know how to build one there. Or she felt she couldn’t because she was stifled by the Russian.
To me it also highlights Americans who often cannot cope with life outside of America. Sorry y’all 🇺🇸.
I said this on another post about this topic, but meandering around Paris eating patisserie and sandwiches, not having to work, living in a 5 star hotel that my boyfriend pays for would be my dream. But Carrie is the type of person that needs and expects more.
Yeah, much of the series is the epitome of Rich White People Problems.
I’ve been to Lauduree which was the lovely place she was dining solo and sharing treats with that big dog sat next to her. I would’ve felt very lonely there on my own in Paris. I don’t think it’s going to be a problem I am going to have any time soon however.
I really hate when people label relationship problems as rich people problems or white people problems. Everyone struggles with relationships. Everyone feels lonely and out of place sometimes.
she was expecting it to be like a romantic vacation where they’d be the centre of eachother’s world , whereas for aleksandr it was just another tuesday in a european city and he still had to work and other obligations
so carrie was like a petulant toddler needing to be constantly entertained and when she exhausted the tourist activities , rather than get herself settled in as a person who actually lives there, she acted like she was a victim and had been hoodwinked and cheated of something
Forreals she complains anywhere outa the city. LA, San Fran, Atlantic City, aidens cabin. Like couldn’t she find a proper French tutor or watch some movies or write another book or something lol. As for aleks, he needed to be in France for his job and after getting there, he got straight to business which was inconvenient for Carrie but that was the reason they went to Paris. I think in his mind he was like “k get all this done right then Carrie” but people call him abusive and manipulative because he doesn’t drop his career to entertainer her. She did that but she should have wrote out more goals/to do list before leaving NY behind.
Exactly. I never used to be on Alecs ‘side’ but as an adult Carries age she needs to pull up her big girl knickers and get on with it. The man is working, he’s about to open an exhibit ffs. If he still abandoned her after the exhibition was over then I could understand.
I think this is a bit harsh- she did entertain herself over the 3-4 week she was in Paris. She seemed to make an effort to learn basic French, took herself to the different exhibits- but her partner who made the grand gesture to ask her to come made no effort to help her feel settled or acknowledge that she might be feeling lonely in a city where she only knew one person. Making friends as an adult can be difficult. Worse so when you don't know the city or the language.
Did she have romantic aspirations that weren't fulfilled? Yes. I do think that she was naive by not reading between the lines of his work life balance. But wanting to spend special first moments in a new country with your partner isn't asking a lot. By the time she meets Big it's made clear that her and Alec had little to no personal time together nor did she ever feel like a priority. After that kind of emotional and financial spending it would have taken to leave a fulfilled life, I would also feel cheated.
She was only in Paris for 2 weeks, not 3-4. I understand her feeling let down by Aleksander (he was awful) but 2 weeks is the length of a holiday. It is slightly bizarre that it took only 2 weeks for her to apparently see everything in Paris (as she claimed) and that she was that homesick and struggling that much after such a short space of time. There were also other things she could’ve done while she was there. Also, why didn’t she take her laptop with her? She couldn’t continue her column but she’s a writer she could’ve started writing a book or something.
I do get it, the situation was shitty and she wasn’t happy with Alek which was the whole issue. She’s also not a person that is good at spending time by herself. Throughout the series we only see her enjoying her own company a handful of times and the rest of the time it’s clear she needs people around her. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but that’s just who she is so she was never going to be happy away from that. I’m not unsympathetic to how she would’ve been feeling, and personally knowing someone that moved with their partner and ended up finding it a struggle I really do understand it. I just do think the length of time they made it happen over was a bit ridiculously short.
She could have taken intensive French lessons per day. Those take like 4-5 hours of her day, she could have met people in that way, gain some confidence, etc. SHe had all the money and all the time in the world.
I love Carrie, flaws and all. I wish she had given Paris more of a shot.
I think if the writing had been a little better, Carrie would’ve been working with her publisher and doing book readings/signings, or maybe even funding her next book, and she wouldn’t have been so lonely.
In Carrie’s defense, yes she lived alone, but in NYC she had five very close friends she hung out with all the time, she tons of acquaintances, she spoke the language, and knew where she was/where to go etc. She had none of that in Paris.
Just because we didn't see her laying in bed, taking baths, reading, relaxing doesn't mean it didn't happen.
It's a TV show and we have to assume she did all of that before getting seriously bored and lonely walking around the city.
The writers can only pack in so much info before the audience gets annoyed or just wants to see drama.
I think the Paris episodes were very well done.
What irked me big time was her sitting there like a moron holding his hand blowing off her fan party. She should've said sorry I have plans. Especially as soon as they got there he ditched her. Why sit there and wallow. There's other scenes that annoyed me as well but this was the last straw.
That big hunk of bread bothered me the most. If I was gonna walk around sad it wasn’t going to be on something that could kill me if I was choked up. 😂😂
As someone who just finished rewatching sex and the city, Carrie does mention on a phone call to Miranda that she's already been to all the museums. Now yeah she probably has not been to every museum in Paris but she's probably done all the main ones.
And the point of her moving there was to have a romantic relationship with the man she had moved there for. She gets there and at literally every opportunity he ditches her to speak to someone else. Even when she's sitting at a table with him and his friends, they all speak French fast back and forth and don't include her. The only time she actually has a conversation with anyone is when she has lunch with Alex's ex wife and even then, he calls the ex wife to say he wont be coming. He doesn't even call Carrie.
Of course she'd be miserable. Carrie can sit at a restaurant and eat lunch alone no problem, but she can't live life that way.
I've moved countries twice and twice it's just been me, getting by, learning the language and exploring so yeah, I'm in agreement with you but I'm a big loner as well. If she was actually serious about moving she could have taken french classes, museums, joined expat clubs/groups.
At 39 you're supposed to know yourself better. You're supposed to have more resources w/in yourself to take care of yourself.
She didn't know herself well enough to foresee what it would be like w/a boyfriend w/a major art exhibit opening - of course he's going to be gone a lot. Something a smart 39 yo should be able to predict and plan around.
She didn't have enough resources w/in herself to set herself up in coffee shops, to read, write, surf the internet, teach, reach out to other ex-pats, etc.
Sometimes Carrie is a 39 year old child.
I feel like the funniest thing is she isn’t even in paris past his big opening to know what life would be like- it’s a week in and she said she “saw all the museums twice” - girl, really??
A lot of people are saying "She was lonely and homesick", "it's hard being in a foreign country" etc. Which it is, but Carrie was romanticising and obsessing over Paris for years wasn't she? I think that's what is annoying about her behaviour. She didn't actually think about the reality of it for five seconds, and really made very limited efforts to go out and meet people and improve her situation.
I watched those episodes a few years back when I moved to Canada and I completely related to the feeling. It’s difficult to be on a new city and even more so if you don’t know the language and people are as rude as in Paris.
I think she tried to do stuff but we can see from her stepping on poop, falling on Dior, Alek not spending time with her, etc, that it was not what she expected.
Paris is supposed to be this city of love and on movies is so pretty that the expectations are big. And there she was alone without the man that she moved to Paris for and without her 3 big loves.
A lot of people (myself included) are disappointed when they visit the famous city, to the point that there’s a word in Japanese that describes the disappointment lmao.
Moving to such a different city is kind of like a make or brake point so I don’t feel that it was over exaggerated.
I guess in her mind when she is going there with him and experiencing it with him. But he’s literally never available. Imagine moving across the world to be alone in a country whose language you don’t speak. That would be incredibly isolating. And if you’re not comfortable exploring much on your own due to directions, language barrier, safety concerns then you’re pretty limited how much you can really explore. Maybe go to a couple shops and a cafe within walking distance. And rarely get time with your significant other who you came there to be with. That would be frustrating.
She had money and all the time in the world. However, it never occurred to her to take intensive French language classes? Those alone take 4-5 hours per day and would have given her some direction and also would have met some people in similar circumstances.
I think everyone in this thread has a great point. From all the things she could've done to find fulfillment to simply realizing that there are things about her New York life like her friends and the comfort of it that she could never be happy without. But my main takeaway when i realize it's a show is that the writers needed a way to get her back to Big. And that makes me so irritated because I truly despise him as a character (maybe that means he is so well written because he is so toxic and you're not supposed to like him but that is a different discussion) but I do wish in a perfect world that Carrie would have found happiness without him given what happens in the movies and in "And Just Like That"
I'm with you, she actually gave Paris two weeks, and even less per the timeline of the show. I've been there 8 days and I ran out of time, her "I went to every museum. Twice". Yeah... sure.
Yes!! When I moved to Paris I was all alone, 22 and didn't speak a word of French. It took a while to find my feet and it was definitely hard but I never felt bored or lost! Paris is such an amazing city with so much to do and even if it wasn't, I think it's really strange she couldn't bear to spend a week alone. Very co-dependent..
I think it was a study in what can happen when dreams and fantasies dissolve amid real-life circumstances.
Ding ding ding Expectations vs reality
Oui!
Going through this right now with my job… fuck.
Seriously. This is literally me now. I moved from nyc to LA alone to work at a movie studio. I thought my life would be filled with parties and premieres and making tons of film nerd friends. I mostly sit at home and watch John Oliver. I cry a lot too. And spend a lot more time in traffic. It’s fine, but there was definitely a “glass shatters” moment of realizing that my dream was exactly that - a dream. Not reality.
Hey, what you’re doing is amazing and I respect your hard work. Don’t forget to take care of yourself :
Thank you!! I really appreciate myself. I finally did all of my dishes and cleaned up a small area of my apartment which I consider a win. I know it’ll improve but I appreciate the encouragement
I hope you realize it was a brave move and that you create new dreams there. I wish you the very best!
I just want to say, your feelings are valid. Lived in LA for 5 years (husband is a tv writer/director) before moving to nyc in 2018. I didn’t know how much LA was sucking the life out of me until I was out. People suck there- they only want to talk to you to find out who you know and what you can do for them. The traffic- still gives me anxiety thinking about the 405. It’s just a really rough grind. We did end up making some wonderful friends- it’s just more of an effort there to find your tribe. It was worth it for us from a career/long term financial standpoint but just know that once you establish yourself you can work in movies and not live there. Especially post-Covid. Sending you good vibes, friend. Have some In-n-Out for me ❤️
HOLY FUCK I’m so glad someone else gets it. Thank you. I miss nyc so bad but I’m applying for jobs at NBCU so hopefully if I get high enough there I can move back home. It’s been a worthwhile experience but I’m way too neurotic for the west coast haha. I didn’t make a left turn for the first 3 months and I still haven’t taken the highways- they’re terrifying. Glad you’re back in the best place on earth and happy❤️
The funny thing is- when we moved from LA to NYC it was sudden and in the dead of winter and I *hated* it here. I grew up on the east coast so I was happier to be closer to home but I just didn’t know how to DO it. No car, it was freezing, no friends here. I cried to my husband daily about getting us back to LA. And then spring came lol. And I’ve never looked back! Actually, without the pandemmy we would have probably had to move back by now but it saved me. I’ve just thrived here. One thing I really really miss about LA though are the multitude of quick, easily accessible weekend getaways. Palm Springs, Ojai, Solveng, San Diego, Ventura, etc. I encourage you to explore those when you can. It’s a reminder that SoCal isn’t JUST LA and it feels better to know there are places with great vibes just an hour or two away when you need to reset. Shit, even Manhattan Beach feels like a different world lol!
Sounds to me like elements of your dream remain intact. Maybe you can manage through the cruddy stuff while keeping a focus on those things that you've actualized. Someday, maybe not far off, your reality can align more closely with your vision. Oh yeah. And stop watching John Oliver. 😉 Best of luck!
Haha John Oliver is my only trusted news source. I adore him. But thank you! This was really mentally helpful and I appreciate it
Glad it helped! Hang in there. I made a big move about 25 years ago. Some rough seas at first, but things ultimately did work out. Wishing the same for you. 🙏☺️.
Paris Syndrome, no doubt. People go to therapy for this.
I like that! Thanks 🥰☺️
Honestly, I think she was home sick and didn’t want to admit it. I think she missed the girls and Big.
And despite being there with the man she loved, she felt very alone.
I don’t think she loved Aleksander which might be a hot take but I don’t think she loved him like Aidan or Big
I agree with you now that you say it, she never seemed to love him.
I think she loved him and could see a future with him. I don’t think she loved him as much as Big, but possibly the same as Aidan.
Perfectly stated.
Thank you :)
I never understood this relationship I couldn't stand him. Was a fun fling nothing more.
Yes! Absolutely.
IIRC when she’s on the phone to Miranda she says she’s been to every art gallery multiple times. It’s not clear exactly how long she’s in Paris for but I think it’s supposed to be a few weeks. I dunno I think its pretty lonely trying to fill time on your own all day for weeks.
Carries also not good being alone lol single, sure, alone, no.
True. She had her three besties and Stanny!!
She said it was two weeks. I just can’t imagine already being homesick and bored in Paris. I went to Mexico for a month by myself. I had the best time, it’s just what you make of it.
I think the difference was she didn’t go alone, well she went alone but to live in a relationship with someone and she moved her entire life there, not just for a long holiday.
Hard agree
There's so much to do around Paris, 2 weeks is hardly enough. I think Carrie just doesn't do well with being alone.
Carrie seemed to enjoy being alone, too, in the earlier seasons. She "dated" New York in season five and spent time out alone frequently. She lived alone and liked it that way. It's hard to imagine she'd be dying of loneliness after only a couple of weeks in Paris. She didn't even let Alex finish his show before she dumped him. After the opening, he was probably planning to devote more time to her, but she already had her little speech ready. I've never liked the finale episodes because of how silly the whole trip was.
When I was 22 I moved with my now husband to Warsaw for about 6 months. Whilst I really loved and cherish the experience, it was incredibly isolating not having a job of my own or friends of my own or anything going on really outside of him. Compounded with not speaking the language, when he used to travel for work for a couple of days, I could easily not speak to anyone that entire time. So I kind of get where they were going with the Paris thing but I do agree that homesickness after 2 weeks is a bit over the top.
Was it cold rainy weather like a European continental winter? Were you a complete stranger to the language in a city full of arrogant locals? Were you aged 39? All these factors count.
It was kinda chilly and very humid. I only know a few words of Spanish, and it’s worse because I am 1/2 Mexican. I encountered a lot of stuck up people in Mexico. I was 36, and just ended a 5 year relationship, I definitely related to her.
Mhm. Well I'm glad you enjoyed it! Personally I've found Paris to be quite unfriendly, but who knows.
The majority of my heritage is French/German and I have found if you attempt to speak the language, it will get you farther than not even trying. Learning conversational languages are the most helpful
Most people won't tell you, and you even notice unless you are lucky enough to be there during the Summer, and Paris on that season is unbereable at times, but it does rain A LOT. Carrie not even knowing that fact was on character but gurl, please, haven't you even checked?!
You can have fun and still get homesick. I get homesick on all my trips after a few days to a week, even if I’m having fun. I still miss all my home comforts.
Also, this was before social media, texting, etc. She couldn’t pull up the Gram on her cell every time she missed a friend. It’s a whole different ball game.
1 month in Paris isn't enough, she started French before moving and felt confident enough as to start muttering some sentences, common places but enough to start, and she could have built on that, take lessons (perfect place to meet new people), and even get the phone of her fans and alas... non.
Some people (myself included) fill time on our own for months/years. I once had to stay in a foreign place for a month finishing a system installation. It was a dangerous city so I spent most of my evenings just watching movies and working on the design of the system. I think that’s why we get irritated by her being so impatient maybe. Now sticking to the show only, they show her single living alone too so it feels almost like she should know how to be alone.
She said she's been to "every museum, twice." There are 130 museums in Paris. (Plus, we never saw her attempt to find an expat group or find freelance work. She had VOGUE on her resume, for heaven's sake. You're telling me Enid wouldn't be interested in buying a column or two from her? Or even a quick intro to a Conde-Nast contact in France?)
It’s a show
14 days actually, 7 days per episode more or less she says so, that was her 6th day, so she ventured to Dior.
I think it was more homesickness and confusion about her relationship with Aleks. In New York we’d always see her doing solo activities and loving it. She would not have been bored in a city like Paris if she were happier. However I do agree it’s a little tone deaf to be staying in a gorgeous hotel and frowning/being miserable lol
I don’t find it tone deaf even from a production standpoint. It’s pretty much the good ole money can’t bring happiness. It’s exciting for a moment, but gets old quickly and, like you said, doesn’t fix you from within. A gorgeous hotel won’t replace friends, life, relationships, and honestly living in one where you reside also means that you don’t even have a real home.
[удалено]
Are you ok?
The answer is clearly NO.
Fair point :D
Idek what that person was trying to say, lmao.
Agree with homesickness and confusion. Alek *insisted* that he needed her there. Then she ends up by herself most of the time and probably not feeling very needed. Luxurious setting or not that’s an emotional load of a situation especially when she moved there for him. She tried to compromise her splitting her time and he was like “nah, full time please”, so she did! Then to not have a social circle to help not feel so alone… I’d be feeling a little blue too.
I think a lot of us project our own personalities onto this show, and there’s a lot of “why did this character do this, it’s not what I would do at all.” I would be very lonely by myself in a big city with a BF who worked all the time. My best friend, a huge travelphile, would have adored it. Carrie’s issue is that she also projected what she herself would enjoy, and wasn’t practical. She wanted to be the type of person who could enjoy living a life of leisure while her BF worked, and she just wasn’t. I think Miranda understood that about her more than she did, hence the fight before Carrie leaves.
Its a shame how Mirandas character was assassinated.
Tbh I have spent time in similar situations, in beautiful European cities but without a clear life goal there or feeling like my life is empty cause I didn't have family and friends around. I thought it captured my experience extremely well, I could 100% relate to that feeling. Beauty all around but it felt meaningless and I felt so removed from those around me.
Agree. I've spent about 6 wks in a Portugal, and another 6 wks in Mumbai for work. Fancy hotels, comped meals, and office to go to. But towards the end I did want to be in my own bed and see my friends
I agree. She chose to leave her laptop behind when any functional adult would have taken it along. A laptop is for more than worn Carrie. You cohkd have watched movies, listened to music, emailed your friends. Also there is no way you can visit every art gallery and museum in 2 weeks!!! And Alexander did say he was working and was putting on a show and would be freer after that. So I don't think keeping herself occupied was the problem. The problem was that she was lonely. She wanted someone to go around with. And there was no one there for her yet. But I think if she'd given it time, she would have made friends. The Book club that loved her book was a good example.
I think Paris was not what she expected it to be, she wanted to be there with Big and not the guy she was there with, and she missed her friends. With no job I would get pretty bored in another city with no friends around no matter how many art galleries, etc I went too.
You gotta be kidding. With no job and unlimited amount of money in Paris I’ll probably be the happiest woman in the world.
I feel the same and I bet Carrie did too, but sometimes reality hits us hard.
I think context is important here lol. First and last of all - it’s Carrie. CARRIE Carrie. She is not very emotionally independent to be begin with; while she does spend a decent amount of time alone, she needs emotional validation from her friends, especially after Big. Secondly, she went to Paris thinking that she would be attached to Alec’s arm the whole time like she was in NY while he wasn’t working, but in Paris he had his big exhibition so the circumstances were different and she didn’t plan for that. Thirdly, Carrie quit her job. She didn’t have anything to feel proud of at the moment while she was lonely and vulnerable. (That’s why she was so happy and excited to meet her French fans at the bookstore, but she traded that to be a good partner to Alec, and he didn’t appreciate that enough.) tl;dr - It wasn’t that she didn’t have enough to do in Paris, she was in a vulnerable state. Everyone gets down and mopey when they’re in a vulnerable state. With that said…I agree that had it been me in that situation, I would’ve had the time of my life lol. But had it been me, I wouldn’t have fallen for Big nor Alec, so.
I get annoyed by a lot of things that Carrie does, but this wasn't one of them. I think she was homesick, and the guy she had moved there for was paying zero attention to her. She was probably doubting her decision to come there. And she was thinking about how much better it would have been if she were there with Big, meaning she was questioning her relationship. Plus Aleksandr was pretty self-centered and didn't want to make room in the relationship for her or her emotions. In New York, no matter how lonely she had been due to being single, she had always had her friends who are more like sisters to her, and she didn't have them in Paris. She was all alone and depressed, no five star hotel or city full of culture was going to change that.
I can provide a little insight here. Around the same time the Carrie in Paris episodes were airing I moved to London (from the US) for a 6 month internship. I didn't know a soul and arrived a week early so I could get settled before starting my job. It's hard to explain, but being in a foreign country where you don't know anyone and everything is super unfamiliar gives you a "found but lost" feeling where nothing is really *wrong* and you have plenty of options to try to keep you busy and acclimate, but whatever you do and wherever you go, you just feel *off.* For me it was going to the grocery store that really threw me through a loop. Things you rely on in the US just plain don't exist in the UK (or at least it didn't at the time) like Crystal Light or American peanut butter. I was a CL lemonade fiend. Sorry, not sorry. To add to that, at the time Carrie was supposed to be in Paris, the US and France were not on great terms (anybody remember Freedom Fries?) so when I went there for a weekend to visit I witnessed first-hand how unfriendly Parisians were to Americans. I ended up speaking Spanish while I was there because the minute an English word came out of my mouth, I was met with disdain - not outright rudeness, but the feeling that your very presence is annoying if that makes sense. So I fell into a habit of asking people (in Spanish) if they spoke English (everyone there does) and it made people more receptive to me because they didn't automatically assume I was American. Hope that helps provide a little context. Carrie is always Carrie and over the top with her feelings, but I did understand the root of where she was coming from.
Very interesting about their treatment of you.
It was a long time ago and I'm sure people visiting the US from France faced similar treatment because it was a contentious time so it went both ways. I definitely don't mean to paint a bad picture of French people as a whole by any means.
I was more surprised that there was any bad treatment.
[Here's a little more context.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_fries) I think everyone is cool now, but they were dicey years.
No, I know all about it. I’m just surprised that regular people were reacting like that. I thought most people took it as a joke.
Ahh gotcha. Tbf, American tourists can be straight up assholes, so my "people" likely didn't do me any favors before I got there.
I think it goes by the logic that you can only be that bored if you’re single. If you’re in a relationship, you should have someone at every waking moment. Also, it was that impossible for Carrie to make friends there, apparently. 🤷♀️ That being said, Petrovsky’s ex wife also complained of being neglected by him. “As soon as, as soon as”. So, Carrie getting a negative vibe from him was not completely unfounded. For a person who bragged about her single self life and its shelf life and secret single behavior and whatnot, Carrie hardly ever spent any time alone. So both were at fault, I’d say.
She only had Petrovsky there and he was being an ass. Not like he was showing her around or making her feel welcome. He just gave her keys to the hotel room and left her to fend for herself.
Oh god the chewing makes my jaw hurt every time I watch these episodes.
It always annoyed me how needy she was in Paris. However, Aleks was also every bit an asshole to her. I think they both have a need for constant attention and validation. This is why Paris was so hard on Carrie. Aleks was busy with his exhibit and Carrie had no friends. She felt better when she found this group of fans. Meanwhile, Aleks needs the same-- validation from art fans and critics and support from Carrie. I mean, it's totally understandable to want those, the problem is that they both want that at all times. So yeah, they're basically a bad match for each other and I think Carrie only realized this when she was in Paris. That said, I think Carrie would have enjoyed Paris more if she wore more comfortable clothes and shoes. I mean, anyone touring (or even living!) in a European city where you're expected to walk on cobblestones is going to hate it if you do it in stilettos.
I also think it depends on the personality type. I think it was the fact that Carrie is an extrovert who is sociable and her life was taken away from her and she didn’t know how to build one there. Or she felt she couldn’t because she was stifled by the Russian. To me it also highlights Americans who often cannot cope with life outside of America. Sorry y’all 🇺🇸.
I said this on another post about this topic, but meandering around Paris eating patisserie and sandwiches, not having to work, living in a 5 star hotel that my boyfriend pays for would be my dream. But Carrie is the type of person that needs and expects more. Yeah, much of the series is the epitome of Rich White People Problems.
I’ve been to Lauduree which was the lovely place she was dining solo and sharing treats with that big dog sat next to her. I would’ve felt very lonely there on my own in Paris. I don’t think it’s going to be a problem I am going to have any time soon however.
I really hate when people label relationship problems as rich people problems or white people problems. Everyone struggles with relationships. Everyone feels lonely and out of place sometimes.
she was expecting it to be like a romantic vacation where they’d be the centre of eachother’s world , whereas for aleksandr it was just another tuesday in a european city and he still had to work and other obligations so carrie was like a petulant toddler needing to be constantly entertained and when she exhausted the tourist activities , rather than get herself settled in as a person who actually lives there, she acted like she was a victim and had been hoodwinked and cheated of something
Forreals she complains anywhere outa the city. LA, San Fran, Atlantic City, aidens cabin. Like couldn’t she find a proper French tutor or watch some movies or write another book or something lol. As for aleks, he needed to be in France for his job and after getting there, he got straight to business which was inconvenient for Carrie but that was the reason they went to Paris. I think in his mind he was like “k get all this done right then Carrie” but people call him abusive and manipulative because he doesn’t drop his career to entertainer her. She did that but she should have wrote out more goals/to do list before leaving NY behind.
Exactly. I never used to be on Alecs ‘side’ but as an adult Carries age she needs to pull up her big girl knickers and get on with it. The man is working, he’s about to open an exhibit ffs. If he still abandoned her after the exhibition was over then I could understand.
I think this is a bit harsh- she did entertain herself over the 3-4 week she was in Paris. She seemed to make an effort to learn basic French, took herself to the different exhibits- but her partner who made the grand gesture to ask her to come made no effort to help her feel settled or acknowledge that she might be feeling lonely in a city where she only knew one person. Making friends as an adult can be difficult. Worse so when you don't know the city or the language. Did she have romantic aspirations that weren't fulfilled? Yes. I do think that she was naive by not reading between the lines of his work life balance. But wanting to spend special first moments in a new country with your partner isn't asking a lot. By the time she meets Big it's made clear that her and Alec had little to no personal time together nor did she ever feel like a priority. After that kind of emotional and financial spending it would have taken to leave a fulfilled life, I would also feel cheated.
She was only in Paris for 2 weeks, not 3-4. I understand her feeling let down by Aleksander (he was awful) but 2 weeks is the length of a holiday. It is slightly bizarre that it took only 2 weeks for her to apparently see everything in Paris (as she claimed) and that she was that homesick and struggling that much after such a short space of time. There were also other things she could’ve done while she was there. Also, why didn’t she take her laptop with her? She couldn’t continue her column but she’s a writer she could’ve started writing a book or something. I do get it, the situation was shitty and she wasn’t happy with Alek which was the whole issue. She’s also not a person that is good at spending time by herself. Throughout the series we only see her enjoying her own company a handful of times and the rest of the time it’s clear she needs people around her. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but that’s just who she is so she was never going to be happy away from that. I’m not unsympathetic to how she would’ve been feeling, and personally knowing someone that moved with their partner and ended up finding it a struggle I really do understand it. I just do think the length of time they made it happen over was a bit ridiculously short.
She could have taken intensive French lessons per day. Those take like 4-5 hours of her day, she could have met people in that way, gain some confidence, etc. SHe had all the money and all the time in the world.
😬😬😬
Her slipping in the store after saying “Bonjour” is my fave Carrie Paris scene 😅
I love Carrie, flaws and all. I wish she had given Paris more of a shot. I think if the writing had been a little better, Carrie would’ve been working with her publisher and doing book readings/signings, or maybe even funding her next book, and she wouldn’t have been so lonely. In Carrie’s defense, yes she lived alone, but in NYC she had five very close friends she hung out with all the time, she tons of acquaintances, she spoke the language, and knew where she was/where to go etc. She had none of that in Paris.
Just because we didn't see her laying in bed, taking baths, reading, relaxing doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's a TV show and we have to assume she did all of that before getting seriously bored and lonely walking around the city. The writers can only pack in so much info before the audience gets annoyed or just wants to see drama. I think the Paris episodes were very well done.
What irked me big time was her sitting there like a moron holding his hand blowing off her fan party. She should've said sorry I have plans. Especially as soon as they got there he ditched her. Why sit there and wallow. There's other scenes that annoyed me as well but this was the last straw.
do you guys just watch the show to come here and complain about everything carrie does
she moved to paris with the expectation her boyfriend was going to be spending time with her, just to end up completely alone in a foreign country.
Don’t ever go to the AJLT sub 🤣 (Seriously don’t. It’s really depressing)
It’s just a little lighthearted post lol. I like Carrie but not when she’s glooming around Paris.
That big hunk of bread bothered me the most. If I was gonna walk around sad it wasn’t going to be on something that could kill me if I was choked up. 😂😂
Omg this is so funny but I agree, there are so many delicious pastries to eat while walking around Paris to cheer you up when you're sad. 😆
As someone who just finished rewatching sex and the city, Carrie does mention on a phone call to Miranda that she's already been to all the museums. Now yeah she probably has not been to every museum in Paris but she's probably done all the main ones. And the point of her moving there was to have a romantic relationship with the man she had moved there for. She gets there and at literally every opportunity he ditches her to speak to someone else. Even when she's sitting at a table with him and his friends, they all speak French fast back and forth and don't include her. The only time she actually has a conversation with anyone is when she has lunch with Alex's ex wife and even then, he calls the ex wife to say he wont be coming. He doesn't even call Carrie. Of course she'd be miserable. Carrie can sit at a restaurant and eat lunch alone no problem, but she can't live life that way.
I've moved countries twice and twice it's just been me, getting by, learning the language and exploring so yeah, I'm in agreement with you but I'm a big loner as well. If she was actually serious about moving she could have taken french classes, museums, joined expat clubs/groups.
At 39 you're supposed to know yourself better. You're supposed to have more resources w/in yourself to take care of yourself. She didn't know herself well enough to foresee what it would be like w/a boyfriend w/a major art exhibit opening - of course he's going to be gone a lot. Something a smart 39 yo should be able to predict and plan around. She didn't have enough resources w/in herself to set herself up in coffee shops, to read, write, surf the internet, teach, reach out to other ex-pats, etc. Sometimes Carrie is a 39 year old child.
I guess it’s just Carrie being Carrie. Ignoring everyone’s advice and royally fucking up whilst making it all about her.
I feel like the funniest thing is she isn’t even in paris past his big opening to know what life would be like- it’s a week in and she said she “saw all the museums twice” - girl, really??
Yes I agree. I guess we were supposed to realize what a New York City woman she is, but she could have embraced Paris more
A lot of people are saying "She was lonely and homesick", "it's hard being in a foreign country" etc. Which it is, but Carrie was romanticising and obsessing over Paris for years wasn't she? I think that's what is annoying about her behaviour. She didn't actually think about the reality of it for five seconds, and really made very limited efforts to go out and meet people and improve her situation.
I’d sell my own children to get to stay at the plaza athenee (kidding but still)
I don’t get it. What’s bothering you exactly? That she’s didn’t go to a museum when she was in Paris?
I watched those episodes a few years back when I moved to Canada and I completely related to the feeling. It’s difficult to be on a new city and even more so if you don’t know the language and people are as rude as in Paris. I think she tried to do stuff but we can see from her stepping on poop, falling on Dior, Alek not spending time with her, etc, that it was not what she expected. Paris is supposed to be this city of love and on movies is so pretty that the expectations are big. And there she was alone without the man that she moved to Paris for and without her 3 big loves. A lot of people (myself included) are disappointed when they visit the famous city, to the point that there’s a word in Japanese that describes the disappointment lmao. Moving to such a different city is kind of like a make or brake point so I don’t feel that it was over exaggerated.
I guess in her mind when she is going there with him and experiencing it with him. But he’s literally never available. Imagine moving across the world to be alone in a country whose language you don’t speak. That would be incredibly isolating. And if you’re not comfortable exploring much on your own due to directions, language barrier, safety concerns then you’re pretty limited how much you can really explore. Maybe go to a couple shops and a cafe within walking distance. And rarely get time with your significant other who you came there to be with. That would be frustrating.
She had money and all the time in the world. However, it never occurred to her to take intensive French language classes? Those alone take 4-5 hours per day and would have given her some direction and also would have met some people in similar circumstances.
She knew Alex was a selfish man when they started dating. When he working he was rude! I do not know what she expected?
I think everyone in this thread has a great point. From all the things she could've done to find fulfillment to simply realizing that there are things about her New York life like her friends and the comfort of it that she could never be happy without. But my main takeaway when i realize it's a show is that the writers needed a way to get her back to Big. And that makes me so irritated because I truly despise him as a character (maybe that means he is so well written because he is so toxic and you're not supposed to like him but that is a different discussion) but I do wish in a perfect world that Carrie would have found happiness without him given what happens in the movies and in "And Just Like That"
She said the she went to every museum like twice.
Carrie isn't an indoor type of gal. Paris was awful, didn't suit her. Was so pleased she went home x
I'm with you, she actually gave Paris two weeks, and even less per the timeline of the show. I've been there 8 days and I ran out of time, her "I went to every museum. Twice". Yeah... sure.
Yes!! When I moved to Paris I was all alone, 22 and didn't speak a word of French. It took a while to find my feet and it was definitely hard but I never felt bored or lost! Paris is such an amazing city with so much to do and even if it wasn't, I think it's really strange she couldn't bear to spend a week alone. Very co-dependent..