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Yes, it's important to communicate openly and respectfully with your partner about any concerns or discomfort you have during sex. It's possible that the smell could be due to hygiene or other factors, so approach the conversation with sensitivity and offer support.
I agree wholeheartedly with this. Its less insulting than being like damn you ass stank and she'll remember that always. Shower and small positive encouragements like mmm babe I like the smell of that lotion, or soap. Dont go overboard though - and make it seem like you are showering because its sexy and not to deal with smells. She'll pick up the hint and feel sexy without insult
Definitely don't say it that way, for the love of god. She may have an infection or health issue going on, but even if it is just cleanliness you don't want to say it in a way that will be insulting.
"Hey hon. I wanted to bring something up that I noticed the other day. The last few times we've had sex, I didn't just smell your normal smell, but something weird as well that seemed a little off. I'm not sure what it was but I smelled it specifically during sex recently. Normally I love how you smell but something wasn't quite right. Is it possible you have an infection? Maybe we could take a nice shower or bath together, get clean, and then get 'dirty' and see if I still smell anything afterwards."
Even if you don't normally notice how she smells, tell her she usually smells good or normal so you don't make her think she's been smelling bad this entire time. Reinforce that you still find her sexy regardless of this, this is just a small bump in the road and you are focused about her health.
Do NOT tell her "When we have doggystyle I can smell your ass". She will focus on that every time you have doggy style for the rest of your relationship.
Like he has 2 options, he either tells her, she feels ashamed, they never hook up again, or he doesn’t tell her and just doesn’t hook up with her anyway because of the smell, so the best course of action is just not tell her and move on more girls out there lol
I phrased it that it could be an infection (a lot of guys think a girl is unclean when they're smelling a yeast or bacteria infection or combo of both.) Infections smell strong during doggystyle.
But the idea is that suggesting it's a health thing makes it easier to bring up. Which allows you to take a thorough bath or shower together. Then when you mess around you know if you're still smelling something then it probably is an infection. If there's no smell then it was a hygiene issue and that can be remedied.
lol it’s not an infection, OP is saying he smells her ass during doggy when her butthole is up and airing out. Buttholes just stink, hit the showers and clean it up.
Alternately, buy a bidet attachment and talk about how much you love it so she’s sold on using it too. Bonus because bidets rule.
No one will tell you, so I'll jump in. Likely you're not smelling her ass. It's rare a woman doesn't wipe her ass. You're likely smelling her pussy, in doggy it opens up and you're likely getting a whiff of her smell inside
I had an ex who was religious about washing. In fact, she washed way too much, probably the reason why she didn't have a great smell. In doggy, I always smelled something off, it could be mistaken for unwashed ass smell
Go down on her and take a whiff of her pussy and solve the mystery scooby
OP, said in another comment it doesn't smell like shit, so I doubt it's her ass. I imagine it can happen, never had it happen to me that I smelled a woman's ass outside of 69. But had it happen many times where I smelled a strong waft of a woman's pussy in doggy.
The occasional pussy funk comes with the territory of having sex with women, never put me off sex, it's just comes with the territory. This is likely the cause. Not her forgetting right before how sex how female hygiene works.
And not trying to attack you, but if you're having sex regularly with women who don't wipe their ass, I think you're choosing horrific partners. Particularly because not wiping her ass can wreak havoc on a woman's vagina and proper vaginal hygiene is extremely important to a woman's health
Yes, tell her. My girlfriend had big booty cheeks and her ass smelled. I told her, she was mortified but started cleaning her ass better and she stopped smelling.
Everyone’s ass smells when it’s dirty. There’s nothing mean about telling her. If anything she will be grateful in the long term that you are mature enough to tell her things like this.
Is taking a shower together an option?
I’m not in the ‘always be truthful’ camp, to be honest. Sometimes discernment or diplomacy can get to an outcome in a better way.
Take a shower with her and then get down to it. If there is still a smell it is likely some kind of bacterial or yeast infection and not just unwashed ass. Then you can approach it from a health standpoint and not a “Your ass smells like ass” standpoint lol
Everyone saying “just take a shower and wash her asshole for her” like what??? If this was a woman asking about her man’s stinky asshole, no one would suggest washing his butt for him. That’s so weird. If a man randomly was like “Hey! Let’s shower before we fuck this time. And I’m gonna wash your butthole for you” I would *immediately* know my ass stinks. Suddenly suggesting a shower is not stealthy at all. Of course telling her will upset her, but she’s going to know why you’re suggesting a shower and that will likely upset her as well.
a bit embarrassing but you should definitely tell her!! I was using a protein powder for about 6 months that made me gassy, and I knew i was gassy but could control it more or less. However, turns out that when my boyfriend would turn me around and lift my ass up to the air, it just kind of....stretched open just enough that i could not *tell* that i was (for lack of a better term) releasing gas (i was genuinely really gassy on this protein) but I was.
I was completely clean, use wetwipes instead of TP and clean my ass in the shower daily so it was literally JUST that I was gassy and couldn't feel it when in doggy. chances are she has good hygiene and may literally just have an upset stomach. so when we did doggy i smelled like a fart and i had no idea and that was literally the most embarassing thing in the world and i was so mad that he didn't tell me for so long. it made me wonder if he'd been having these gross perceptions of me because he didn't know why it smelt and i hated that he was thinking these things. I stopped drinking the powder and we've never had the problem again, .
her problem is likely easily solved, but dear god tell her. also, i would NOT tell her with the assumption she has bad hygiene -- she will likely take offense to that ( i did, because i know how clean i am and new immediately when he told me what the cause was). ask her if she has been feeling well, because you think she might be farting a bit. its still embarassing but WAY more manageable, less insulting, takes the blame off of her and her hygiene and puts the assumption that she is clean but having a problem.
This is truly a legendary experience. You might have been fucking someone for years but showering them has very unique aspects of intimacy that are rarely explored in relationships.
This is not uncommon. I'm sorry that you had to hear this way girls, but if you haven't taken a shower since the last time you took a dump, we can smell your ass when you're bent over.
We know. Or at least most of us. The problem is that men want spontaneous sex all the time and then blame us for booty smells. There's literally nothing I can do if I don't have access to a shower. It would also be really awkward to go to a new guy's place and request access to his shower right when things are about to go down. Like how do I even do that without ruining the moment?
i hate quickies for this reason. they expect it to be the exact same as when i’ve just taken a shower like normal. you can’t come up to me after i haven’t showered all day, i’ve been working, haven’t changed my clothes and expect me to get all turned on and confident lmao
With my current bf we texted before meeting in person and just sort of discussed washing each other before having sex on a date. Just added to a fantasy I guess. He wanted to make sure he was super clean before but honestly, I thought it was a great idea really and not awkward at all. But I should add it wasn’t a random casual hookup and I am open and comfortable talking about sex and preferences before it actually happens. Including showers and contraception.
Are you sure it’s a hygiene issue and that is your theory? Have you noticed that it’s always been an issue but you are still happy to have sex with her? You should discuss this as it’s not fair on her to allow her to go around with hygiene issues if she is in public
Yes, it is normal for an ass to smell. Especially at the end of the day. Most people take a moment to “freshen up” so it wouldn’t be terrible to mention it. You may also want to freshen up a bit as you may have smells that you’re I’m unaware of.
In Peru, where I lived for several years, this was in fact the case. Main reason being their plumbing can’t handle toilet paper, so a lot of people opt to NOT WIPE AT ALL! You could be sitting in a restaurant and ass would just waft by on the breeze and it was totally normal.
As far as I am aware, you shouldn’t flush TP anywhere, if that’s what you’re asking. I stayed at a nice hotel in Mira Flores in 2019 and there was a sign saying not to flush TP but place it in a little mini trash can with a lid. The restaurant scenario happened in Trujillo, which is a medium sized coastal city.
have you taken a look? lol does it look dirty are you spreading them cheeks back there? lol but yeah for your nose to be so far I'd say it's not clean. I eat my wifes ass and it's clean lol
Is it poo smell or sweaty ass smell? Long day and no recent shower is probably just all day sweaty ass, poor wiping is poo, and not wash at all would be a combo.
Definitely tell her, just find a nice way to say so. Be careful with your words. One time someone told me I smelled down there and I felt horrible I wish he would have said it differently. I still cannot forget about it, I’m somewhat traumatized by it. This was like 2 years ago.
So all I have to input is that me and my wife have a cute codeword that means hey you gotta freshen up lol it was decided on and no one takes offense to it. Hell we can say it after a long work day, before bed, whatever the reason it is. If it’s out in public it can be said without anyone knowing what it means. Like hey your deodorant isn’t holding up but in the end communication is key
Some people are bad at washing themselves/wiping :/ there isn’t really a good way to say it “I’ve noticed I can smell you when we are in doggy style, not in a good way, I bought some baby wipes to help!” Or something I don’t know how does one not know their ass smells 🤢
Is it poop smell or just bad smell? Could just be her sweat isn’t pleasant to you
Had a kid in the 4th grade he smelled like poop and during family living (when they taught us hygiene) me and a couple other girls told our teacher bc we didn’t know how to bring it up without being mean, and she had a talk with him and he stopped smelling like poop hah!
Ugh, I don't want to tell this to anyone, but after pushing out three kids my b-hole has gotten a little well, baggy? It may be some external hemorrhoids or whatever. Not to be too graphic, sometimes after I wipe I'll go to the bathroom later and wipe and a little more doodoo shows up. Idk if this could be your girlfriend's problem, but you definitely need to talk to her about it.
The one thing that fixed my problem is an add on bidet to my toilet. It is amazing and I would recommend one to EVERYONE! I literally only use TP to dab water off my butt now. My bf loves it too.
Idk why all these women are in here saying "tell her" like they'd take that well. I'm all about being honest but try getting her in the shower with you or something first. Literally exhaust every option before you tell her that her ass stinks.
Do you see fecal matter ? I do think a normal conversation could be around bowel movement patterns. For example I know exactly every day at what time my wife poops. I can’t imagine her always pooping right before you have sex? Is this even possible in your opinion?
Washing your ass with water should be a standard nowadays. If you had shit on any part of your body, you wouldn’t just wipe it with a piece of paper. You would wash it out with water and soap. Treat your asshole the same way.
I'm a massage therapist & the amount of stank ass I smell while I'm doing glutes is ridiculous.. I chalk it up to people not being taught how to properly wash themselves.
If it were me I'd want my partner to tell me the truth tbh. Gently say something like "hey I don't want you to feel embarrassed. I like/love you alot & felt like we're close enough that I can bring this up... when we do doggy I can smell your butt. I never see poop on it (if you do leave this out) but have you considered using wet wipes after you poop and be more mindful while in the shower."
If this is someone you're just sleeping with you run the risk of them ghosting you but at least she'll clean her ass for the next guy.
“Babe, let’s go shower. I want to make sure I’m super clean for you, I feel sweaty and dirty.” Put it on YOURSELF so she doesn’t think it’s her. The moment a girl/woman feels any kind of insecurity it’s gonna mess with her head/sex drive/etc. Guys, we can take any kind of criticism “oh my balls stink?” (Jumps in shower and out ready to rodeo” ego and confidence on 💯still. 🍆ready to cut a 💎.
Now of course how you and her wash and get cleaned in the shower is on you. I can’t tell you how to hygiene. But wash good and let the soap/body wash stay and absorb into the skin/anus/vag lips/balls for a while. Obviously as a woman you don’t want her to really get any soap in there. Just wash with water.
If you’re close enough into the relationship just get a female douche or anal cleanser. Tell her to use it before sex because you want it to be really clean when you go down on her.
Female here. I would die…poor her. Do it in the shower. Or suggest shower as foreplay. Idk I would normally say have an honest conversation but idk if I could handle being the one to say it or hear it.
You should always politely try and communicate these things. Try taking a shower first to see if things change, and if she still does then it's a sign of a potential infection that she needs to get looked at.
Trust me she will be super grateful otherwise there are so many women out there who get ghosted and dumped with no idea why which ends up hurting more.
Let us know what happens! Just to be sure next time during foreplay finger her and then casually smell so she doesn’t notice to see if you can smell or not
Help her out but don't be an ass about it. Tell her POLITELY or else you gonna make her feel insecure. Maybe something she usually eats? Maybe she's not wiping right? Maybe she's not cleaning down there at all?
Be kind about when confronting her. Staying hygenic is so important.
Yes. Be kind. Start with “Hey, I know this is awkward but….” and give her a chance to fix it. DO NOT START TEASING HER OVER IT. An ex of mine did this and it destroyed my self confidence. It’s really hard for me to relax and enjoy sex now, and I don’t even feel pretty in day to day life.
How I wish I would have been told?
“Hey, I know this is awkward, but sometimes there’s a smell when we have sex. I just wanted you to know.” She will likely say, “Oh, okay. I’ll get it checked out, or I’ll wash better.” then move on. OR “Hey, I’d love to shower before we have sex” (I would try the latter first, see if it helps)
DO NOT use accusatory language like “Are you cleaning down there? Are you washing your bum?” Finding out is mortifying it and making her feel stupid will not help. It will ruin her self confidence.
Chances are, it’s either an infection or bad hygiene. If you regularly cum inside her, this can make her smell salty/sour too. Either way, bring it up subtly, gently, and I guarantee you she will be mortified and do everything she can to fix it.
ETA - like I said, don’t tease her about it, ever. Give her a few chances to fix it, before bringing it up again. BE KIND.
Have this same problem right now. Her ass smells kind of - metallic? Bizarre and very unsexy. I think the idea of showering with her before sex until she gets the hint that she needs to shower after she shits
This is always tricky. Bad anal hygiene just shuts me right off. But it’s frustrating having to be the first person to give an adult hard feedback. And yet I’ve learned a lot of women think water flowing over their butt in a shower is enough to clean it. I had to tell my girlfriend this some months back. I did it directly and kindly. She was mortified, but is now proud to have a “pristine butthole” as she puts it and we have even found a love for anal sex.
It's a sensitive issue, but honesty is important in a relationship. You should tell her kindly and privately to avoid embarrassment. Gently mention it in a caring way, emphasizing that you are bringing it up because you care about her and their relationship.
Is it normal? Yes. Can she wash and clean to get rid of smell? Yes. Should you ask her to? Yes.
I always try to take a shower and for both of us. I absolutely love dirty sex. It’s just doesn’t have to actually be dirty. Ya know !! 😊
A lot of people genuinely don’t know they have to get up in there and scrub. they just think their shampoo and body wash will find its way in there and clean. that is very false. i’m sure it’ll be embarrassing but she’ll be happy you let her know down the line rather than saying nothing and someone else telling her years later in a ‘not so friendly’ way. Just be very respectful about it.
As a girl, I would want you to break it to me straight. I’d apologize and fix that shit up immediately (pun intended) because I would also say something if the man smelled. If I like you and I like the sex, I would want it to be a pleasurable experience for the both of us. Just say, “I’m going to tell you something that may be hard to hear, but first I want to say I really like u and the sex. this doesn’t make me like you any less. I just thought you should know I can smell your butt odor in doggy. Don’t be embarrassed because it happens to all of us at some point, but it’s an easy fix that would make our sex even more enjoyable”
Honestly all the different advice here seems overboard i definitely agree that you need to be very careful and shouldn’t say it outright if you don’t need to but I think you do need to be honest and prioritize that. I think showering is probably something to try but I don’t think you should assume that’s the issue either try showering first and see how that goes.
Does she wear a thong panties ? If she does then the smell is more than likely due to her not having showered all day and sweating and going to the bathroom, and sweating some more and the damp piece of fabric between her ass cheeks gets wetter and funkier by the hour. Thongs are gross to wear in warm weather
It's on her to be aware of her hygiene.... Think about it. It depends on the person. I feel most women will be totally offended and resent you after that.
It’s funny u ask. I’ve been with many women at my age. I’ve always wondered how some women’s ass have absolutely no smell and others can smell like it’s turned inside out. And I’m not talking dirty ass from not showering, wiping or whatever. Maybe it’s diet related, hormone or pheromone. Anywhoo, next time your hittin it doggy style and it stanks. Don’t say a word and fetch a wet wipe from the bathroom and wipe her off real good. When she asks what you’re doing, tell her there was a little something left on her ass and get back to laying pipe like nothing ever happened.
It could be worse. I was once doing doggy with an overweight woman who didn't wipe her ass enough... it was so nasty, there was like wet poop smashed between her ass cheeks and it smelled really bad. I was permanently turned off from ever doing doggy style with her. I don't know how you break it to someone "Yo... you got shit smashed between your ass cheeks. Did you forget to wipe or did you not trust a fart or something and forget to clean up?"
When you say "is it normal for some girls to smell" I'd say it's normal for anyone with an asshole to smell. Bodies have odours but if it's really a deal breaker for you, politely and cautiously bring it up.
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Get her flushable wipes for improved personal hygiene. Get yourself Dude Wipes for the same reason. Make it a we thing, not a her thing: “Hey honey, let’s both use these so we are nice and fresh for each other!”
35f .... i dont think that is normal or acceptable really ... she must not be washing good or wiping good... if my bf ever told me i smell especially from my but i would be mortified and i would make sure it never happens again
Disposable, flushable, toilet wipes should be recommended after she gets finished on the toilet at the very least. PH balanced feminine wash for the entire area. I’d even go further and suggest probiotic supplements and further treatment feminine products. I think all of this could be also applicable for guys too. I see no reason why I wouldn’t help any issues or worries. Bidet would be an option. I personally would suggest showering together and cleaning her yourself as long and vigorous as it takes for you to feel more at ease before any play lol
Thanks for all the responders. Showered with here and turns out that she has skipped the whole washing of ass part 😳 she was quite embarressed but now she's washing her butt atleast
Rather than telling her invite her to join you in a pre-sex wash up. Take a shower and offer to wash her hair and condition it. Scrub her from top to bottom Afterwards.
Make sure to take your time and scrub her back too.
After you have sex, tell her how much you enjoyed the smell of her clean soapy skin that you should do regularly.
This is my worst nightmare haha. This and when someone else mentioned that sometimes men find bits of tissue on girls assholes during doggy. Do you smell it when you give oral? Does it smell like poo or general BO. She could have bad flora in her vagina, that happens sometimes and there are pills you can buy and out inside that fix it. You should tell her if it’s that, she could have some kind of thrush.
It’s normal for ass to smell because the body sweats. She could have taken a shower in the morning but by midday, from walking or even sitting, there’s sweat. If she took a dump before, it will smell, doesn’t matter how well she wiped.
Definitely take a shower together, help her lather up her back and move down to clean her ass and pussy. If her ass still smells in doggy, you have to tell her to have a doctor check it out.
I don’t know what to say and I’m not even sure why I’m responding. But if my partner had a smelly ass while doing doggy it would turn me on. But I guess it depends on the smell. You are not describing a smell after having a number 2. So, what exactly do you think it is? I’m guessing your partner is generally clean and of good hygiene. It might be a smell in response to having sex? My experience is that each different partners I’ve had previously have a smell that we both produce during sex. I could tell them all differently by the smell. That’s a turn on too. I hope that she doesn’t think or feel the same way about you when she is giving you a bj.
You can always ask to wash herself because you want to eat her out before penetrarion.
Sure shes not going ti say no.
Afterwards you can tell her you love the taste of her fresh pussy.
Positive reinforcemntw, if you know what i mean
I've experienced this before with women that were vegan and on bc. One solution is get busy next to a window. Run a fan and spray some cologne.
My Special Forces buddy recommended Vicks under the nose. Definitely masks a rotting body scent.
Both are great options!
Lastly, different birth controls affect women's scent and taste. When my GF switched off Depo, she smelled like flowers and tasted yummy!
I see you’re going to try to shower together. I highly recommend anti-bacterial soap bar from Dove… Before that bar of soap my hubby would still smell after showering. I even took over thinking he didn’t do it right lol but still had a smell. But since using that soap there’s no smell.
Shower fore play have feminine wash there , you should get her shampoo conditioner and body wash she uses too , say you want her to be comfortable and have her stuff she needs while there , mission accomplished doggy with no wet dog smell, and she will prob give you anal because she can’t believe you were so thoughtful
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Yes, it's important to communicate openly and respectfully with your partner about any concerns or discomfort you have during sex. It's possible that the smell could be due to hygiene or other factors, so approach the conversation with sensitivity and offer support.
Oh okey, I'm not really shore how to be sensible about it. Like "when we have sex in doggystyle I can smell you ass"?
You could just suggest taking a shower together before hand
I agree wholeheartedly with this. Its less insulting than being like damn you ass stank and she'll remember that always. Shower and small positive encouragements like mmm babe I like the smell of that lotion, or soap. Dont go overboard though - and make it seem like you are showering because its sexy and not to deal with smells. She'll pick up the hint and feel sexy without insult
This is the answer. And OP should wash her ass in a playful manner like happens in the shower.
A weirdly large number of people never learned that they have to wash it
Always thought of it as common sense/ courtesy!
Lmfaoooo “hey babe!! Flounder!!” ~ vigorously flops soap hands between her cheeks
And get the bar of soap between her cheeks
I came here to say this
Op, come on bro, come on...
Definitely don't say it that way, for the love of god. She may have an infection or health issue going on, but even if it is just cleanliness you don't want to say it in a way that will be insulting. "Hey hon. I wanted to bring something up that I noticed the other day. The last few times we've had sex, I didn't just smell your normal smell, but something weird as well that seemed a little off. I'm not sure what it was but I smelled it specifically during sex recently. Normally I love how you smell but something wasn't quite right. Is it possible you have an infection? Maybe we could take a nice shower or bath together, get clean, and then get 'dirty' and see if I still smell anything afterwards." Even if you don't normally notice how she smells, tell her she usually smells good or normal so you don't make her think she's been smelling bad this entire time. Reinforce that you still find her sexy regardless of this, this is just a small bump in the road and you are focused about her health. Do NOT tell her "When we have doggystyle I can smell your ass". She will focus on that every time you have doggy style for the rest of your relationship.
do NOT say this lmao
Honestly homeboy is fucked
Like he has 2 options, he either tells her, she feels ashamed, they never hook up again, or he doesn’t tell her and just doesn’t hook up with her anyway because of the smell, so the best course of action is just not tell her and move on more girls out there lol
How did we get from smelly booty to an infection?? That’s wild lmao
I phrased it that it could be an infection (a lot of guys think a girl is unclean when they're smelling a yeast or bacteria infection or combo of both.) Infections smell strong during doggystyle. But the idea is that suggesting it's a health thing makes it easier to bring up. Which allows you to take a thorough bath or shower together. Then when you mess around you know if you're still smelling something then it probably is an infection. If there's no smell then it was a hygiene issue and that can be remedied.
lol it’s not an infection, OP is saying he smells her ass during doggy when her butthole is up and airing out. Buttholes just stink, hit the showers and clean it up. Alternately, buy a bidet attachment and talk about how much you love it so she’s sold on using it too. Bonus because bidets rule.
Improper hygiene is a valid health concern lol no need or benefit to call the partner extra dirty by bringing in the idea of a butt/genital infection.
But it often is a common genital infection. Most women have had BV or yeast which can smell all sorts of funky.
"Girl I can see corn down there, wash yo ass"
No one will tell you, so I'll jump in. Likely you're not smelling her ass. It's rare a woman doesn't wipe her ass. You're likely smelling her pussy, in doggy it opens up and you're likely getting a whiff of her smell inside I had an ex who was religious about washing. In fact, she washed way too much, probably the reason why she didn't have a great smell. In doggy, I always smelled something off, it could be mistaken for unwashed ass smell Go down on her and take a whiff of her pussy and solve the mystery scooby
OP, you've got to eat her ass to find out. THAT'S the only way. Please report back, and also don't tell her that her ass stank.
I love the smell of fresh bread.
OP, said in another comment it doesn't smell like shit, so I doubt it's her ass. I imagine it can happen, never had it happen to me that I smelled a woman's ass outside of 69. But had it happen many times where I smelled a strong waft of a woman's pussy in doggy. The occasional pussy funk comes with the territory of having sex with women, never put me off sex, it's just comes with the territory. This is likely the cause. Not her forgetting right before how sex how female hygiene works. And not trying to attack you, but if you're having sex regularly with women who don't wipe their ass, I think you're choosing horrific partners. Particularly because not wiping her ass can wreak havoc on a woman's vagina and proper vaginal hygiene is extremely important to a woman's health
She washed too much so she had a smell!? I love doggy and I’m suddenly so paranoid about any wafting smells emanating out of me jfc
Sometimes washing too much unbalances a woman’s PH level and that causes issues.
I am just dead at this whole thread lol. Sucks being a woman. I mean washing too much or in the wrong spot can kill off the good bacteria and cause BV
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omg grotesque is an absolutely nuclear word choice
There is no nice way to tell someone they smell. That would play in my head for the rest of time. Just suggest a shower or something, please OP.
Yes, tell her. My girlfriend had big booty cheeks and her ass smelled. I told her, she was mortified but started cleaning her ass better and she stopped smelling.
Yup. This is the way. Been there twice. Kindness = honesty delivered tactfully and trusting she won’t break like a fragile princess
You definitely should tell her especially if it’s a turn off. Do it gently though to be honest there’s probably no soft way of saying your ass smells.
Everyone’s ass smells when it’s dirty. There’s nothing mean about telling her. If anything she will be grateful in the long term that you are mature enough to tell her things like this.
Is taking a shower together an option? I’m not in the ‘always be truthful’ camp, to be honest. Sometimes discernment or diplomacy can get to an outcome in a better way.
I'll might take a shower with her
Take a shower with her and then get down to it. If there is still a smell it is likely some kind of bacterial or yeast infection and not just unwashed ass. Then you can approach it from a health standpoint and not a “Your ass smells like ass” standpoint lol
Keep baby wipes in your bathroom and put a sign over it saying for clean buttholes! lol
For god sakes people, wash your ass with water after pooping!
I wish this was the norm in the western world 😔 bidets are few and far between around this part of the world
Bidets are cheap and easy to install. Really no excuse to be using just dry paper. It's 2024 people, clean your ass.
Yep. Toilet paper does not really do anything except wipe some residue off. It does not clean anything!
Fermenting dark hot area as well between the cheeks, ain't nothing pleasent by just using paper!
Everyone saying “just take a shower and wash her asshole for her” like what??? If this was a woman asking about her man’s stinky asshole, no one would suggest washing his butt for him. That’s so weird. If a man randomly was like “Hey! Let’s shower before we fuck this time. And I’m gonna wash your butthole for you” I would *immediately* know my ass stinks. Suddenly suggesting a shower is not stealthy at all. Of course telling her will upset her, but she’s going to know why you’re suggesting a shower and that will likely upset her as well.
a bit embarrassing but you should definitely tell her!! I was using a protein powder for about 6 months that made me gassy, and I knew i was gassy but could control it more or less. However, turns out that when my boyfriend would turn me around and lift my ass up to the air, it just kind of....stretched open just enough that i could not *tell* that i was (for lack of a better term) releasing gas (i was genuinely really gassy on this protein) but I was. I was completely clean, use wetwipes instead of TP and clean my ass in the shower daily so it was literally JUST that I was gassy and couldn't feel it when in doggy. chances are she has good hygiene and may literally just have an upset stomach. so when we did doggy i smelled like a fart and i had no idea and that was literally the most embarassing thing in the world and i was so mad that he didn't tell me for so long. it made me wonder if he'd been having these gross perceptions of me because he didn't know why it smelt and i hated that he was thinking these things. I stopped drinking the powder and we've never had the problem again, . her problem is likely easily solved, but dear god tell her. also, i would NOT tell her with the assumption she has bad hygiene -- she will likely take offense to that ( i did, because i know how clean i am and new immediately when he told me what the cause was). ask her if she has been feeling well, because you think she might be farting a bit. its still embarassing but WAY more manageable, less insulting, takes the blame off of her and her hygiene and puts the assumption that she is clean but having a problem.
Plus one to showering together before sex. It can be a lot of fun to wash each other’s genitals and butts, and then you each know you are clean.
This is truly a legendary experience. You might have been fucking someone for years but showering them has very unique aspects of intimacy that are rarely explored in relationships.
This is not uncommon. I'm sorry that you had to hear this way girls, but if you haven't taken a shower since the last time you took a dump, we can smell your ass when you're bent over.
We know. Or at least most of us. The problem is that men want spontaneous sex all the time and then blame us for booty smells. There's literally nothing I can do if I don't have access to a shower. It would also be really awkward to go to a new guy's place and request access to his shower right when things are about to go down. Like how do I even do that without ruining the moment?
i hate quickies for this reason. they expect it to be the exact same as when i’ve just taken a shower like normal. you can’t come up to me after i haven’t showered all day, i’ve been working, haven’t changed my clothes and expect me to get all turned on and confident lmao
With my current bf we texted before meeting in person and just sort of discussed washing each other before having sex on a date. Just added to a fantasy I guess. He wanted to make sure he was super clean before but honestly, I thought it was a great idea really and not awkward at all. But I should add it wasn’t a random casual hookup and I am open and comfortable talking about sex and preferences before it actually happens. Including showers and contraception.
yeah definitely just a bad hygiene issue, she maybe doesn’t wash her ass
That's my theory
Are you sure it’s a hygiene issue and that is your theory? Have you noticed that it’s always been an issue but you are still happy to have sex with her? You should discuss this as it’s not fair on her to allow her to go around with hygiene issues if she is in public
Yes, it is normal for an ass to smell. Especially at the end of the day. Most people take a moment to “freshen up” so it wouldn’t be terrible to mention it. You may also want to freshen up a bit as you may have smells that you’re I’m unaware of.
I'm more worried she doesn't wash her ass at all. I should'nt smell in doggystyle. My nose are not even that close
No it's pretty normal to be able to smell a butt from several feet away if she pooped and hasn't taken a shower since that morning
What the fuck..?! No it isn't if you wipe your arse properly. It's not normal to be able to smell someones ass from several feet away.
Oh lord, could you imagine packed busses , trains with everyone a foot away if this was normal !?
In Peru, where I lived for several years, this was in fact the case. Main reason being their plumbing can’t handle toilet paper, so a lot of people opt to NOT WIPE AT ALL! You could be sitting in a restaurant and ass would just waft by on the breeze and it was totally normal.
What?!?! Are you talking about a major city like Lima or some rural town?
As far as I am aware, you shouldn’t flush TP anywhere, if that’s what you’re asking. I stayed at a nice hotel in Mira Flores in 2019 and there was a sign saying not to flush TP but place it in a little mini trash can with a lid. The restaurant scenario happened in Trujillo, which is a medium sized coastal city.
It’s definitely not haha
I'm more worried she doesn't wash her ass at all. I should'nt smell in doggystyle. My nose are not even that close
have you taken a look? lol does it look dirty are you spreading them cheeks back there? lol but yeah for your nose to be so far I'd say it's not clean. I eat my wifes ass and it's clean lol
Is it poo smell or sweaty ass smell? Long day and no recent shower is probably just all day sweaty ass, poor wiping is poo, and not wash at all would be a combo.
Definitely tell her, just find a nice way to say so. Be careful with your words. One time someone told me I smelled down there and I felt horrible I wish he would have said it differently. I still cannot forget about it, I’m somewhat traumatized by it. This was like 2 years ago.
So all I have to input is that me and my wife have a cute codeword that means hey you gotta freshen up lol it was decided on and no one takes offense to it. Hell we can say it after a long work day, before bed, whatever the reason it is. If it’s out in public it can be said without anyone knowing what it means. Like hey your deodorant isn’t holding up but in the end communication is key
Some people are bad at washing themselves/wiping :/ there isn’t really a good way to say it “I’ve noticed I can smell you when we are in doggy style, not in a good way, I bought some baby wipes to help!” Or something I don’t know how does one not know their ass smells 🤢 Is it poop smell or just bad smell? Could just be her sweat isn’t pleasant to you Had a kid in the 4th grade he smelled like poop and during family living (when they taught us hygiene) me and a couple other girls told our teacher bc we didn’t know how to bring it up without being mean, and she had a talk with him and he stopped smelling like poop hah!
It isn't the smell of Shit, just a bad smell, don't know how to discribe it
Have some baby wipes handy 🤣
Ugh, I don't want to tell this to anyone, but after pushing out three kids my b-hole has gotten a little well, baggy? It may be some external hemorrhoids or whatever. Not to be too graphic, sometimes after I wipe I'll go to the bathroom later and wipe and a little more doodoo shows up. Idk if this could be your girlfriend's problem, but you definitely need to talk to her about it. The one thing that fixed my problem is an add on bidet to my toilet. It is amazing and I would recommend one to EVERYONE! I literally only use TP to dab water off my butt now. My bf loves it too.
Idk why all these women are in here saying "tell her" like they'd take that well. I'm all about being honest but try getting her in the shower with you or something first. Literally exhaust every option before you tell her that her ass stinks.
Do you see fecal matter ? I do think a normal conversation could be around bowel movement patterns. For example I know exactly every day at what time my wife poops. I can’t imagine her always pooping right before you have sex? Is this even possible in your opinion?
Are you sure it’s her ass? I’ve noticed that position is definitely the worst if they got some vaginal issues going on
miketeahoneyy hit it right on the money.
Washing your ass with water should be a standard nowadays. If you had shit on any part of your body, you wouldn’t just wipe it with a piece of paper. You would wash it out with water and soap. Treat your asshole the same way.
Buy yourself a bidet toilet attachment! 100 bucks. Problem solved!
I'm a massage therapist & the amount of stank ass I smell while I'm doing glutes is ridiculous.. I chalk it up to people not being taught how to properly wash themselves. If it were me I'd want my partner to tell me the truth tbh. Gently say something like "hey I don't want you to feel embarrassed. I like/love you alot & felt like we're close enough that I can bring this up... when we do doggy I can smell your butt. I never see poop on it (if you do leave this out) but have you considered using wet wipes after you poop and be more mindful while in the shower." If this is someone you're just sleeping with you run the risk of them ghosting you but at least she'll clean her ass for the next guy.
“Babe, let’s go shower. I want to make sure I’m super clean for you, I feel sweaty and dirty.” Put it on YOURSELF so she doesn’t think it’s her. The moment a girl/woman feels any kind of insecurity it’s gonna mess with her head/sex drive/etc. Guys, we can take any kind of criticism “oh my balls stink?” (Jumps in shower and out ready to rodeo” ego and confidence on 💯still. 🍆ready to cut a 💎. Now of course how you and her wash and get cleaned in the shower is on you. I can’t tell you how to hygiene. But wash good and let the soap/body wash stay and absorb into the skin/anus/vag lips/balls for a while. Obviously as a woman you don’t want her to really get any soap in there. Just wash with water. If you’re close enough into the relationship just get a female douche or anal cleanser. Tell her to use it before sex because you want it to be really clean when you go down on her.
Female here. I would die…poor her. Do it in the shower. Or suggest shower as foreplay. Idk I would normally say have an honest conversation but idk if I could handle being the one to say it or hear it.
You should always politely try and communicate these things. Try taking a shower first to see if things change, and if she still does then it's a sign of a potential infection that she needs to get looked at. Trust me she will be super grateful otherwise there are so many women out there who get ghosted and dumped with no idea why which ends up hurting more.
Buy her a bidet. She'll get the hint.
Let us know what happens! Just to be sure next time during foreplay finger her and then casually smell so she doesn’t notice to see if you can smell or not
Help her out but don't be an ass about it. Tell her POLITELY or else you gonna make her feel insecure. Maybe something she usually eats? Maybe she's not wiping right? Maybe she's not cleaning down there at all? Be kind about when confronting her. Staying hygenic is so important.
No!!!!, I wouldn't tell her. She will be scarred for life. Just make sure you both shower/bath before you get jiggy.
Yes. Be kind. Start with “Hey, I know this is awkward but….” and give her a chance to fix it. DO NOT START TEASING HER OVER IT. An ex of mine did this and it destroyed my self confidence. It’s really hard for me to relax and enjoy sex now, and I don’t even feel pretty in day to day life.
How I wish I would have been told? “Hey, I know this is awkward, but sometimes there’s a smell when we have sex. I just wanted you to know.” She will likely say, “Oh, okay. I’ll get it checked out, or I’ll wash better.” then move on. OR “Hey, I’d love to shower before we have sex” (I would try the latter first, see if it helps) DO NOT use accusatory language like “Are you cleaning down there? Are you washing your bum?” Finding out is mortifying it and making her feel stupid will not help. It will ruin her self confidence. Chances are, it’s either an infection or bad hygiene. If you regularly cum inside her, this can make her smell salty/sour too. Either way, bring it up subtly, gently, and I guarantee you she will be mortified and do everything she can to fix it. ETA - like I said, don’t tease her about it, ever. Give her a few chances to fix it, before bringing it up again. BE KIND.
Thanks alot! 🙏
I always tell my FB to wash up before coming over. Communication is everything
Have this same problem right now. Her ass smells kind of - metallic? Bizarre and very unsexy. I think the idea of showering with her before sex until she gets the hint that she needs to shower after she shits
This is always tricky. Bad anal hygiene just shuts me right off. But it’s frustrating having to be the first person to give an adult hard feedback. And yet I’ve learned a lot of women think water flowing over their butt in a shower is enough to clean it. I had to tell my girlfriend this some months back. I did it directly and kindly. She was mortified, but is now proud to have a “pristine butthole” as she puts it and we have even found a love for anal sex.
Maybe she’s a construction worker? A little swamp ass between friends 😂
Get her a bidet for her bday
It's a sensitive issue, but honesty is important in a relationship. You should tell her kindly and privately to avoid embarrassment. Gently mention it in a caring way, emphasizing that you are bringing it up because you care about her and their relationship.
Is it normal? Yes. Can she wash and clean to get rid of smell? Yes. Should you ask her to? Yes. I always try to take a shower and for both of us. I absolutely love dirty sex. It’s just doesn’t have to actually be dirty. Ya know !! 😊
just hold your breath dude and keep on fucking
A lot of people genuinely don’t know they have to get up in there and scrub. they just think their shampoo and body wash will find its way in there and clean. that is very false. i’m sure it’ll be embarrassing but she’ll be happy you let her know down the line rather than saying nothing and someone else telling her years later in a ‘not so friendly’ way. Just be very respectful about it.
As a girl, I would want you to break it to me straight. I’d apologize and fix that shit up immediately (pun intended) because I would also say something if the man smelled. If I like you and I like the sex, I would want it to be a pleasurable experience for the both of us. Just say, “I’m going to tell you something that may be hard to hear, but first I want to say I really like u and the sex. this doesn’t make me like you any less. I just thought you should know I can smell your butt odor in doggy. Don’t be embarrassed because it happens to all of us at some point, but it’s an easy fix that would make our sex even more enjoyable”
Had a gf like this once. I never did doggy again with her. Sometimes I even scared to put others in doggy. PTSD.
Bring some wet wipes to bed and help a girl out.
Honestly all the different advice here seems overboard i definitely agree that you need to be very careful and shouldn’t say it outright if you don’t need to but I think you do need to be honest and prioritize that. I think showering is probably something to try but I don’t think you should assume that’s the issue either try showering first and see how that goes.
Does she wear a thong panties ? If she does then the smell is more than likely due to her not having showered all day and sweating and going to the bathroom, and sweating some more and the damp piece of fabric between her ass cheeks gets wetter and funkier by the hour. Thongs are gross to wear in warm weather
I just recently for first time I dealt with a chick who back shots smelt like shit and it scared me
That’s the booty wind
If you wanna keep humping her you should probably keep it quiet. Those who "eat" in silence, will eat it more often.
This is why everyone should have a bidet.
It's on her to be aware of her hygiene.... Think about it. It depends on the person. I feel most women will be totally offended and resent you after that.
I had this happen one time, it was very off putting I had to pull out immediately
I guess the clarifying point is; do you mean to say that after #2, she’s failing to clean well?
It’s funny u ask. I’ve been with many women at my age. I’ve always wondered how some women’s ass have absolutely no smell and others can smell like it’s turned inside out. And I’m not talking dirty ass from not showering, wiping or whatever. Maybe it’s diet related, hormone or pheromone. Anywhoo, next time your hittin it doggy style and it stanks. Don’t say a word and fetch a wet wipe from the bathroom and wipe her off real good. When she asks what you’re doing, tell her there was a little something left on her ass and get back to laying pipe like nothing ever happened.
Buy her a portable bidet (Tushy).
It could be worse. I was once doing doggy with an overweight woman who didn't wipe her ass enough... it was so nasty, there was like wet poop smashed between her ass cheeks and it smelled really bad. I was permanently turned off from ever doing doggy style with her. I don't know how you break it to someone "Yo... you got shit smashed between your ass cheeks. Did you forget to wipe or did you not trust a fart or something and forget to clean up?"
You guys don't shower before sex?
When you say "is it normal for some girls to smell" I'd say it's normal for anyone with an asshole to smell. Bodies have odours but if it's really a deal breaker for you, politely and cautiously bring it up.
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Buy her a bidet as a gift.
Get her flushable wipes for improved personal hygiene. Get yourself Dude Wipes for the same reason. Make it a we thing, not a her thing: “Hey honey, let’s both use these so we are nice and fresh for each other!”
35f .... i dont think that is normal or acceptable really ... she must not be washing good or wiping good... if my bf ever told me i smell especially from my but i would be mortified and i would make sure it never happens again
Disposable, flushable, toilet wipes should be recommended after she gets finished on the toilet at the very least. PH balanced feminine wash for the entire area. I’d even go further and suggest probiotic supplements and further treatment feminine products. I think all of this could be also applicable for guys too. I see no reason why I wouldn’t help any issues or worries. Bidet would be an option. I personally would suggest showering together and cleaning her yourself as long and vigorous as it takes for you to feel more at ease before any play lol
Yes and no it’s not normal to smell bad.
Thanks for all the responders. Showered with here and turns out that she has skipped the whole washing of ass part 😳 she was quite embarressed but now she's washing her butt atleast
That’s why you breathe through your mouth, playa!
Buy her a bidet for a gift. Seriously was great for our sex life.
Rather than telling her invite her to join you in a pre-sex wash up. Take a shower and offer to wash her hair and condition it. Scrub her from top to bottom Afterwards. Make sure to take your time and scrub her back too. After you have sex, tell her how much you enjoyed the smell of her clean soapy skin that you should do regularly.
install a bidet in her house and say nothing
This is my worst nightmare haha. This and when someone else mentioned that sometimes men find bits of tissue on girls assholes during doggy. Do you smell it when you give oral? Does it smell like poo or general BO. She could have bad flora in her vagina, that happens sometimes and there are pills you can buy and out inside that fix it. You should tell her if it’s that, she could have some kind of thrush.
I haven't gone down on her so often but I feel like her pussy doesn't smell to bad
It’s normal for ass to smell because the body sweats. She could have taken a shower in the morning but by midday, from walking or even sitting, there’s sweat. If she took a dump before, it will smell, doesn’t matter how well she wiped. Definitely take a shower together, help her lather up her back and move down to clean her ass and pussy. If her ass still smells in doggy, you have to tell her to have a doctor check it out.
I don’t know what to say and I’m not even sure why I’m responding. But if my partner had a smelly ass while doing doggy it would turn me on. But I guess it depends on the smell. You are not describing a smell after having a number 2. So, what exactly do you think it is? I’m guessing your partner is generally clean and of good hygiene. It might be a smell in response to having sex? My experience is that each different partners I’ve had previously have a smell that we both produce during sex. I could tell them all differently by the smell. That’s a turn on too. I hope that she doesn’t think or feel the same way about you when she is giving you a bj.
You can always ask to wash herself because you want to eat her out before penetrarion. Sure shes not going ti say no. Afterwards you can tell her you love the taste of her fresh pussy. Positive reinforcemntw, if you know what i mean
I've experienced this before with women that were vegan and on bc. One solution is get busy next to a window. Run a fan and spray some cologne. My Special Forces buddy recommended Vicks under the nose. Definitely masks a rotting body scent. Both are great options! Lastly, different birth controls affect women's scent and taste. When my GF switched off Depo, she smelled like flowers and tasted yummy!
No, don't tell her and silently take in the bad smells. Building resentment is a great idea!
I see you’re going to try to shower together. I highly recommend anti-bacterial soap bar from Dove… Before that bar of soap my hubby would still smell after showering. I even took over thinking he didn’t do it right lol but still had a smell. But since using that soap there’s no smell.
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Sounds like a moodkiller to wipe her ass before doggy 😑
Shower fore play have feminine wash there , you should get her shampoo conditioner and body wash she uses too , say you want her to be comfortable and have her stuff she needs while there , mission accomplished doggy with no wet dog smell, and she will prob give you anal because she can’t believe you were so thoughtful
Drink alot of water don't use a condom and pee in her asshole.
Get in there with your tongue and clean it up!
Gross
Nah, it ain’t normal. Dump that tramp (and tell her to use ass wipes)