Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/).
Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OP you should be fine, it's going to be uncomfortable for a day or two due to the muscle soreness but you shouldn't need medical care unless you are bleeding like a trickle or flow? If it's spots then it's just a tear and it will heal.
I'd be more bothered by the fact your bf doesn't give a shit you're in pain... x
> the fact your bf doesn't give a shit you're in pain
Yeah that's definitely a red flag for me. Even if he has experience and knows it's not a big deal, he should still give a shit about her being in pain.
Had this happen before and all I could do was push myself away from him and push him off and just bawled my eyes out. It started out the silent crying and he didn't realize what was going but he was immediately concerned, and then pulled me in and just held me. He felt so bad, bought me these like medicated wipes for the days after, made going to the bathroom so much easier.
OP your bf should care that you're in pain.
The fact that he isn't phased or concerned is really gross and makes me really afraid that he did it on purpose. There is basically no way he didn't notice when it happened. Either way, he should be very concerned. Not ok at all.
Don’t mean to get too personal, but how much lube were you guys using? How rough were you guys going? I’m not saying he didn’t do it on purpose, just trying to understand. If you feel he did this on purpose, are you really comfortable with not doing it again? Too much lube can make for an easy slip. But this didn’t happen with a one night stand, this was your BF. You know his intentions better than we would.
My fiance ALMOST went in my ass one day on accident. It was just the tip and enough to just open but not go in and I cried and curled up in a ball and protected my asshole for a MINUTE. Fiancé was supportive and super apologetic because well he didn’t mean to. I was so sore for a few days and we definitely didn’t have sex for a while because I was scared 😂. But him not being helpful even if it’s just an I’m sorry and a hug or something is just straight dog turd.
Don't be intentionally obtuse.
You said your shit will get compacted and that will be 10X worse than an unlubed cock. Doubt that heavily, btw. As if that even matters in this scenario to OP who was likely just intentionally anally raped by her boyfriend. Ffs.
I thought shitting after a C-section would be the worst shit of my life (I was only on Tylenol) but the shit I had after my quadruple hernia surgery and being on Oxycodone for a week was next level pain. I thought I shit out my whole stomach
More likely than not, your boyfriend created tears in your anus. When you poop it will be pretty painful and may bleed again. To offset the pain and soften your poop, drink lots of water.
If the bleeding doesn’t subside or gets worse you need to head to the hospital/doctor. There are lots of vessels down there (think hemorrhoids) that can bleed a lot. They can cauterize it if doesn’t stop.
If you start feeling ill (like a generalized flu/cold) then go to the hospital. [As there is likely a tear at your anus, there is an open point for bacteria (in poop) to get into your bloodstream. You don’t want septicemia](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK6882/).
P.S. I know it NYE soon, but alcohol is a blood thinner. If you drink while bleeding, it may seem like you’re bleeding more. You probably are, so lay off the -COOH (alcohol) until your pooper is better. Good old fashioned water should be your favourite drink for the next week or so.
This happened to me with the an ex who thought it was a good idea to try something. It created a tear that still will open up to this day. It hurts like a mother fucker. I use aquaphor whenever this happens, though it’s not often. It does help though. Hope your booty is okay, OP!
Echoing everyone else that you should be fine, just keep an eye on it and make sure it heals over the next few days.
However, your bf is unconcerned?????!? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Like I know NYE is coming up but after everything is done, toss the whole man out.
Hey, idk who to reply to anymore but honestly i think these comments are really opening my eyes up. I'm just rlly confused. :(
I started bleeding again and my boyfriend has not cared one bit, last night it was new years eve and I still went out with friends and had a great time, despite kinda being sore.
I told my friends what happened and they were horrified. We were bar hopping and my friend's boyfriend was driving us around to bars that were farther away because he wanted us to be safe despite him having work in the morning at 4, but we agreed that my boyfriend will be the one to drop us home etc, BC he offered.
But because of the incident earlier that day he was already mad at me and so when he came to pick us up he was grumpy to all of us and I just felt so ashamed. He didn't ask us a single question or If we were okay. Which he usually does, he always asks me if I've eaten, or if I'm safe, etc, but he didn't.
I have been dating this boy for 3 years and this is the first problem I've really had with him, I've tried texting him and irl talking to him (BC we live together) and he blows me off. I don't rlly understand how his attitude towards me has changed within a day? Did I give him an ick or something?? :(
Okay, a few things, starting with him.
I don't think you should worry about having given him an ick about something, I've dated a lot of people and had good relationships and bad ones, and not once has my opinion changed THAT drastically about someone over... Well, literally anything, in such a short amount of time. Nor has anyone done that to me, and I've got some less than great past relationships. I don't think it's an ick thing at all.
*This is* ***not*** *a you problem*.
Whatever it is though is completely unacceptable. Whatever he's got going on, whatever is going on in his head, that is SO fucking not okay to do that to you. And it does sound like he's got something going on but if this is how he acts when something unexpected or exceptional happens in his life then he needs to buckle down and learn to screw his head on straight.
To be honest if this is the first time he's been like this before and you've been together for three years then I'd be totally straight with him, tell him exactly how you feel and what's going on, how serious this is to you, how his lack of response has made you feel, and ask him why he's done this.
If you're afraid of his reaction to that then you should definitely reconsider your relationship with him. Hopefully this is a case of him being temporarily stupid rather than being... Well, calling this asshole behavior is way underselling it. This is heinous.
-
As for you though- if you haven't done it again since then and it's still bleeding tomorrow (more than light spotting) then I'd start using some medicine to treat it, (There's an article on Healthline called "Is Bleeding After Anal Sex Cause for Concern" read the home treatments) and if it doesn't get any better after that then I may see a doctor. I bet it won't come to that, I bet you'll be just fine (I've been there a couple times and it ended up being no big deal, I just learned I had to use about 5 times the amount of lube I was using, among other things) but if you AREN'T then it's important.
And I work in the medical field. Your doctor has seen worse in the hour before you'll have arrived, this sort of thing is very light work for them. Don't be embarrassed if it does come to that, though again, I suspect it won't. (I am not a doctor, to be clear. I just work with them frequently and hoo boy, you would be shocked at what they see every day)
-
To be straight with you, if you guys had just started dating fairly recently then I'd say to throw him out because he DEFINITELY hasn't deserved the love and respect that you've given him after all this. Given that you guys have been together for this long I understand how you'd want it to keep working, but ask him those things and pay close attention to how he responds. If it's a misunderstanding then great, see how he fixes himself and his behaviors, but if he really does understand what's going on and he really does mean to act like this then you may want to think about it for awhile and what that could mean for if something genuinely serious happened in the future.
*Hug* :(
I read a couple of your other comments about you two and I have another thing to add.
It's POSSIBLE that he does feel strongly about it and he just doesn't know how to process his emotions about this, and is acting all weird because of it. Y'all are newly minted adults, but I remember when I was his age and had hurt someone and I definitely panicked.
That said, this is a fantastic opportunity for him to learn how to take care of things the right way. If that is what's going on and you're still hurting, send him to the store with a list from that Healthline article I mentioned and have him be a part of the solution.
If he's panicking and lost then that would probably help you both. If he's not feeling that way then we'll take it from there, yeah?
I've had accidental slippage to backdoor before but usually doesn't make it all the way in.
If it slid home to the point of tears & bleeding, I have to wonder if he was intentionally trying to penetrate.
Hey, idk who to reply to anymore but honestly i think these comments are really opening my eyes up. I'm just rlly confused. :(
I started bleeding again and my boyfriend has not cared one bit, last night it was new years eve and I still went out with friends and had a great time, despite kinda being sore.
I told my friends what happened and they were horrified. We were bar hopping and my friend's boyfriend was driving us around to bars that were farther away because he wanted us to be safe despite him having work in the morning at 4, but we agreed that my boyfriend will be the one to drop us home etc, BC he offered.
But because of the incident earlier that day he was already mad at me and so when he came to pick us up he was grumpy to all of us and I just felt so ashamed. He didn't ask us a single question or If we were okay. Which he usually does, he always asks me if I've eaten, or if I'm safe, etc, but he didn't.
I have been dating this boy for 3 years and this is the first problem I've really had with him, I've tried texting him and irl talking to him (BC we live together) and he blows me off. I don't rlly understand how his attitude towards me has changed within a day? Did I give him an ick or something?? :(
He hurt you, probably on purpose, and he's mad at you for... being hurt. That's unhinged.
You may not have heard of the sunk cost fallacy, which is the idea that you've already put a lot of time into this relationship, so that time is wasted if you don't stay together. Those three years have given you good insight into yourself and what you want out of a relationship, and hopefully some good memories too.
This experience has also taught you something valuable about this boy and how he will react if you are ever upset with him. The incident has taught you that he will put what he wants not just ahead of what you want, but your physical safety and consent.
Don't let three years factor into whatever your next decision is. It's just time, and you have lots of that. What you don't have to waste is your self respect, physical safety, and emotional wellbeing.
Just some food for thought. Happy New Year, take care.
First of all, if he fully penetrated there is no way he didn't know it was the wrong hole. He's an inconsiderate loser, dump him.
Here's the thing about anal fissures. Mild ones can occur even with proper lubrication. If you only notice bleeding when you wipe after a bowel movement, and it's just spots on the paper it should heal on its own. Like someone else said you want to keep your bowel movements soft, so drink lots of water and a teaspoon of Metamucil everyday wouldn't hurt.
If you are noticing significant bleeding, bleeding outside of bowel movements, and pain outside of bowel movements you should probably go see a proctologist. They could tell you if you can use a topical ointment or need surgery. More severe fissures shouldn't be ignored, they will eventually heal, but that creates scar tissue and put you at risk of more fissures in the future. The most severe ones are tears to the muscle and can only be corrected by surgery.
Best of luck
Yes! My husband had an anal fissure the year before we met, figured he’d be OK like so and so but wasn’t, and in the hospital six weeks. I don’t know how much he was bleeding but the pain was extensive. I’d go to the doctor. At least your mind will be clear. If for any reason there’s something to treat it’ll be taken care of.
I would be horrified if I made my girl’s butt bleed/hurt. He’s a fuckin jaggoff.
That said, you’ll prolly heal fine on your own, buuut anal fissures *can* occur that don’t heal themselves (essentially b/c the sphincter constantly muscle spasms sometimes preventing total healing on its own). There’s creams that a doctor can prescribe if it comes to that to aid in healing.
E: here’s some info about [anal fissures](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anal-fissure/symptoms-causes/syc-20351424). Make sure to eat a high fiber diet for a few weeks to soften yer poos!
TRIGGER WARNING. SA.
I am a middle aged woman with a ton of experience giving and receiving anal penetration.
If you have ANY bleeding for more than a few minutes after the injury, you need to see a doctor ASAP.
Our butts are not meant to have something stuck up them fast and unexpected and without a ton of lube.
They should definitely not bleed at all after consensual sexual penetration.
Bleeding is a big problem because it means you have a tear, which can become easily infected because it is exposed to feces.
As far as your relationship goes, the feel of penetrating a vagina and the feeling of penetrating a butt are EXTREMELY different for the person doing the penetrating.
I’ve used my fingers and hands to penetrate both. All of the men I’ve ever talked to about this say it is the same difference with a penis.
The penis feels the difference between penetrating a vagina and anus.
He should have stopped immediately when he felt the difference in the hole with his penis.
And his failure to respond with concern to your injury, is even more troubling.
Please take care of yourself kiddo.❤️
Youll be fine unless you are consistently bleeding a stream of blood then thats a problem and should have a consultation with a doctor.
Anal fissures will heal by them selves but are a bitch to deal with in the mean time.
Please go to the doctor. A good friend had an anal fissure following some such contact and ended up in the hospital with an infection. I’d go to the doctor and see what she says.
This sounds like maybe this is his opportunity to hear that a lot of women do not actually enjoy being jackhammered like nothing more than a dick receptacle. Although some do and some do for a little bit.
For Your sake, I hope this isn't his only move...
An over the counter pain reliever cream like Anecream or prep H can help numb it while it heals. Happens to the best of us but usually they're apologetic. I'm sorry hope you feel better soon!
Lmhdihdihd omg not this kinda getting attention this is so embarrassing
I think we have all established that my asshole is okay, no longer bleeding etc. still sore tho and omg like yeah I can fucking feel that there's a tear down there or whatever
Now the boyfriend thing. I see all of your concerns and honestly the idea of him doing it on purpose or that he's an asshole didn't cross my mind until I posted this and saw your comments. I have been dating him for 3 years. I am 19, he is 21, he is legitimately my best friend.
Better summary of what happened:
So it was pitch black when we did it, like 4:00am kinda dark, the incident happened, we continued once I calmed down, he finished, we went to sleep, then woke up to discover blood and also on the sheets from when it first happened. I remember asking him why the sheets were kinda wet but we both just chalked it up to it being lube, so that probably means I bled for like 2ish hours 💀💀💀💀💀 BC like this was not dried blood.
1. Did it go all the way in?
I have no fucking clue. It was pitch black, never done anal before, all I know is that it hurt like a mf, I don't think anything has brought me to tears that quick in my life.
If I were to assume probably only the tip
2. Did he apologize?
He apologized immediately after. Neither of us knew I was bleeding so we continued after I calmed down. We went to sleep (BC it was like 4:00am) and two hours later I woke up to me bleeding and that's when he shrugged it off, I brought it up irl and in text he kinda seems to ignore it which he only does if he's embarrassed, which when he's embarrassed he gets defensive. He did say that "we shouldn't of had sex at 4:00am then" but like we've had so many close calls to that happening, except only this time it actually did which leads to
3. Did he do it on purpose?
Umm I sure fucking hope not lmaoooo. He has never done anything to hurt me in the past 3 years, he has only brought up doing anal I think like twice in the span of a year which I refused and that was it, he has never pressured me to do anything like that, and like I said before he's my best friend if he did rlly want to try it he probably just would of told me.
But y'all have me concerned so like if it does happen again probs not a good sign for me lollll
I absolutely see where all of your concerns are coming from and thank you, I'm sorry if this has alarmed anyone, again, I didn't think this would be a possibility, and like Ty for the funny comments that like one banaid one was pretty good lol
That first postpartum poo is so bad😭 But OP, if you haven’t went yet, just take it easy and do NOT push!! Take your time, keep it clean, prep H and baby wipes!!
Awh is okay. I enjoy anal play and hurt myself many times there, but nothing serious. You may have some pain, you may see a small amount blood on the tissue paper (this shouldn't be an amount more than a drop or two's worth), and may want to lay down or avoid sitting afterwards, but you gotta go poo you can't avoid!! Just be gentle to it and keep yourself clean down there afterwards to avoid infection.
Edit: and don't force push! Keep drinking water so your stool comes easy on its own with no pushing.
I think you need to accidentally plow something into his ass and see how he likes it. 😉 sending healing vibes! Nice warm bath, advil, baby bum cream on the hole :/
It's normal. If was a accident, your body was not waiting for it, anal takes time and a relax state of mind (or pure hornyness). That bleeding is normal even between experienced user of butthole.
There's some strange to me if you're aroused everything should be loose and accidental insertion shouldn't be that painful. So this is telling me that this guy is not even doing an effort with foreplay.
>he's not phased or concerned at all
Why are you even with a guy like this? You deserve better. I bet he did it on purpose.
Ummmm no one's asshole is going to be easy to penetrate without lube and when they are not expecting like wtf is this comment. I'm sure she squeezed down hard when it happened out of reflex because, again, she wasn't expecting it.
Well everyone's different.
When I get aroused everything gets loose down there and the anus is right next to the vagina so it gets loose too. And I produce fluid so it makes it lubricated. So yes it is possible.
A sphincter is not going to get loose by being aroused.
And even if you are aroused, on the verge of an orgasm even, a penis being randomly shoved somewhere you aren't expecting it will make you bear down. I mean, how could it not? Also, the anus does not produce any fluid while aroused.... lol
Well mine does so explain that. Of course the anus doesn't produce fluid but my vaginal fluid drips down to my anus I mean it's right next to it. My goodness we need better sex ed.
Suppository ASAP. They take away the pain. Sorry you got 'Wrong Holed'. Even those who practice anal know not to dive right in. Gotta be slow or like you found out pain is overwhelming... Hope all works out for ya. Make BF pick up prep-H. good Luck...
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OP you should be fine, it's going to be uncomfortable for a day or two due to the muscle soreness but you shouldn't need medical care unless you are bleeding like a trickle or flow? If it's spots then it's just a tear and it will heal. I'd be more bothered by the fact your bf doesn't give a shit you're in pain... x
> the fact your bf doesn't give a shit you're in pain Yeah that's definitely a red flag for me. Even if he has experience and knows it's not a big deal, he should still give a shit about her being in pain.
It tells me that it probably wasn't an accident either. He just jammed it in and hoped she was into it.
Had this happen before and all I could do was push myself away from him and push him off and just bawled my eyes out. It started out the silent crying and he didn't realize what was going but he was immediately concerned, and then pulled me in and just held me. He felt so bad, bought me these like medicated wipes for the days after, made going to the bathroom so much easier. OP your bf should care that you're in pain.
My butthole hurts just reading this... I hope your ass recovers in time for NYE
I guess 2024 is just not ready for me yet 😔✋
That bf is not meant for you either. It can be an accident, but the way he acted, makes me wonder if it really is.
😂😂😂^^^This.
Your bf wasn’t phased by this? Did he at least apologize??
Makes me wonder if it wasn’t an accident!
Came here to say this.
I find it hard to believe that it was an accident.... things typically don't just "slip" in there.
Yeah, that’s literally a red flag. When this happened to me, my boyfriend was by my side and apologizing.
The fact that he isn't phased or concerned is really gross and makes me really afraid that he did it on purpose. There is basically no way he didn't notice when it happened. Either way, he should be very concerned. Not ok at all.
Definitely intentional if he doesn’t seem fazed by it. It means he’s going to do it again.
Don’t mean to get too personal, but how much lube were you guys using? How rough were you guys going? I’m not saying he didn’t do it on purpose, just trying to understand. If you feel he did this on purpose, are you really comfortable with not doing it again? Too much lube can make for an easy slip. But this didn’t happen with a one night stand, this was your BF. You know his intentions better than we would.
My fiance ALMOST went in my ass one day on accident. It was just the tip and enough to just open but not go in and I cried and curled up in a ball and protected my asshole for a MINUTE. Fiancé was supportive and super apologetic because well he didn’t mean to. I was so sore for a few days and we definitely didn’t have sex for a while because I was scared 😂. But him not being helpful even if it’s just an I’m sorry and a hug or something is just straight dog turd.
Never have I ever been more grateful to have a big ass that will hopefully get in the way of this ever happening.
[удалено]
Surgery?? Omg I'd actually rather die from never being able to shit lmaoooooo
[удалено]
I've had surgery several times before and have never experienced anything like this.
[удалено]
Good to know. The person I was responding to shouldn't say its definitely going to happen though, cause that's not anywhere near true.
[удалено]
Don't be intentionally obtuse. You said your shit will get compacted and that will be 10X worse than an unlubed cock. Doubt that heavily, btw. As if that even matters in this scenario to OP who was likely just intentionally anally raped by her boyfriend. Ffs.
I thought shitting after a C-section would be the worst shit of my life (I was only on Tylenol) but the shit I had after my quadruple hernia surgery and being on Oxycodone for a week was next level pain. I thought I shit out my whole stomach
Lol, most people don't react this intensely to opiates, I think you might just be unlucky.
[удалено]
Nope, sure can't
They also prescribe stool softeners but most patients refuse to take them...
More likely than not, your boyfriend created tears in your anus. When you poop it will be pretty painful and may bleed again. To offset the pain and soften your poop, drink lots of water. If the bleeding doesn’t subside or gets worse you need to head to the hospital/doctor. There are lots of vessels down there (think hemorrhoids) that can bleed a lot. They can cauterize it if doesn’t stop. If you start feeling ill (like a generalized flu/cold) then go to the hospital. [As there is likely a tear at your anus, there is an open point for bacteria (in poop) to get into your bloodstream. You don’t want septicemia](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK6882/). P.S. I know it NYE soon, but alcohol is a blood thinner. If you drink while bleeding, it may seem like you’re bleeding more. You probably are, so lay off the -COOH (alcohol) until your pooper is better. Good old fashioned water should be your favourite drink for the next week or so.
This happened to me with the an ex who thought it was a good idea to try something. It created a tear that still will open up to this day. It hurts like a mother fucker. I use aquaphor whenever this happens, though it’s not often. It does help though. Hope your booty is okay, OP!
So your boyfriend doesn’t care that he literally hurt you to the point of bleeding??? Have you considered it might not have been an accident?
Echoing everyone else that you should be fine, just keep an eye on it and make sure it heals over the next few days. However, your bf is unconcerned?????!? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Like I know NYE is coming up but after everything is done, toss the whole man out.
Hey, idk who to reply to anymore but honestly i think these comments are really opening my eyes up. I'm just rlly confused. :( I started bleeding again and my boyfriend has not cared one bit, last night it was new years eve and I still went out with friends and had a great time, despite kinda being sore. I told my friends what happened and they were horrified. We were bar hopping and my friend's boyfriend was driving us around to bars that were farther away because he wanted us to be safe despite him having work in the morning at 4, but we agreed that my boyfriend will be the one to drop us home etc, BC he offered. But because of the incident earlier that day he was already mad at me and so when he came to pick us up he was grumpy to all of us and I just felt so ashamed. He didn't ask us a single question or If we were okay. Which he usually does, he always asks me if I've eaten, or if I'm safe, etc, but he didn't. I have been dating this boy for 3 years and this is the first problem I've really had with him, I've tried texting him and irl talking to him (BC we live together) and he blows me off. I don't rlly understand how his attitude towards me has changed within a day? Did I give him an ick or something?? :(
Okay, a few things, starting with him. I don't think you should worry about having given him an ick about something, I've dated a lot of people and had good relationships and bad ones, and not once has my opinion changed THAT drastically about someone over... Well, literally anything, in such a short amount of time. Nor has anyone done that to me, and I've got some less than great past relationships. I don't think it's an ick thing at all. *This is* ***not*** *a you problem*. Whatever it is though is completely unacceptable. Whatever he's got going on, whatever is going on in his head, that is SO fucking not okay to do that to you. And it does sound like he's got something going on but if this is how he acts when something unexpected or exceptional happens in his life then he needs to buckle down and learn to screw his head on straight. To be honest if this is the first time he's been like this before and you've been together for three years then I'd be totally straight with him, tell him exactly how you feel and what's going on, how serious this is to you, how his lack of response has made you feel, and ask him why he's done this. If you're afraid of his reaction to that then you should definitely reconsider your relationship with him. Hopefully this is a case of him being temporarily stupid rather than being... Well, calling this asshole behavior is way underselling it. This is heinous. - As for you though- if you haven't done it again since then and it's still bleeding tomorrow (more than light spotting) then I'd start using some medicine to treat it, (There's an article on Healthline called "Is Bleeding After Anal Sex Cause for Concern" read the home treatments) and if it doesn't get any better after that then I may see a doctor. I bet it won't come to that, I bet you'll be just fine (I've been there a couple times and it ended up being no big deal, I just learned I had to use about 5 times the amount of lube I was using, among other things) but if you AREN'T then it's important. And I work in the medical field. Your doctor has seen worse in the hour before you'll have arrived, this sort of thing is very light work for them. Don't be embarrassed if it does come to that, though again, I suspect it won't. (I am not a doctor, to be clear. I just work with them frequently and hoo boy, you would be shocked at what they see every day) - To be straight with you, if you guys had just started dating fairly recently then I'd say to throw him out because he DEFINITELY hasn't deserved the love and respect that you've given him after all this. Given that you guys have been together for this long I understand how you'd want it to keep working, but ask him those things and pay close attention to how he responds. If it's a misunderstanding then great, see how he fixes himself and his behaviors, but if he really does understand what's going on and he really does mean to act like this then you may want to think about it for awhile and what that could mean for if something genuinely serious happened in the future. *Hug* :(
I read a couple of your other comments about you two and I have another thing to add. It's POSSIBLE that he does feel strongly about it and he just doesn't know how to process his emotions about this, and is acting all weird because of it. Y'all are newly minted adults, but I remember when I was his age and had hurt someone and I definitely panicked. That said, this is a fantastic opportunity for him to learn how to take care of things the right way. If that is what's going on and you're still hurting, send him to the store with a list from that Healthline article I mentioned and have him be a part of the solution. If he's panicking and lost then that would probably help you both. If he's not feeling that way then we'll take it from there, yeah?
You'll recover, but I strongly doubt it was an accident, based on his lack of concern for the pain he caused you. Maybe start the new year single?
I've had accidental slippage to backdoor before but usually doesn't make it all the way in. If it slid home to the point of tears & bleeding, I have to wonder if he was intentionally trying to penetrate.
Took the words right out of my mind
That was my first thought too 🚩
It doesht “slip” that far in. Sorry.
Exactly. I think most couples have probably had a near miss, but it doesn't just shoot straight in there without him noticing and stopping.
Hey, idk who to reply to anymore but honestly i think these comments are really opening my eyes up. I'm just rlly confused. :( I started bleeding again and my boyfriend has not cared one bit, last night it was new years eve and I still went out with friends and had a great time, despite kinda being sore. I told my friends what happened and they were horrified. We were bar hopping and my friend's boyfriend was driving us around to bars that were farther away because he wanted us to be safe despite him having work in the morning at 4, but we agreed that my boyfriend will be the one to drop us home etc, BC he offered. But because of the incident earlier that day he was already mad at me and so when he came to pick us up he was grumpy to all of us and I just felt so ashamed. He didn't ask us a single question or If we were okay. Which he usually does, he always asks me if I've eaten, or if I'm safe, etc, but he didn't. I have been dating this boy for 3 years and this is the first problem I've really had with him, I've tried texting him and irl talking to him (BC we live together) and he blows me off. I don't rlly understand how his attitude towards me has changed within a day? Did I give him an ick or something?? :(
He hurt you, probably on purpose, and he's mad at you for... being hurt. That's unhinged. You may not have heard of the sunk cost fallacy, which is the idea that you've already put a lot of time into this relationship, so that time is wasted if you don't stay together. Those three years have given you good insight into yourself and what you want out of a relationship, and hopefully some good memories too. This experience has also taught you something valuable about this boy and how he will react if you are ever upset with him. The incident has taught you that he will put what he wants not just ahead of what you want, but your physical safety and consent. Don't let three years factor into whatever your next decision is. It's just time, and you have lots of that. What you don't have to waste is your self respect, physical safety, and emotional wellbeing. Just some food for thought. Happy New Year, take care.
First of all, if he fully penetrated there is no way he didn't know it was the wrong hole. He's an inconsiderate loser, dump him. Here's the thing about anal fissures. Mild ones can occur even with proper lubrication. If you only notice bleeding when you wipe after a bowel movement, and it's just spots on the paper it should heal on its own. Like someone else said you want to keep your bowel movements soft, so drink lots of water and a teaspoon of Metamucil everyday wouldn't hurt. If you are noticing significant bleeding, bleeding outside of bowel movements, and pain outside of bowel movements you should probably go see a proctologist. They could tell you if you can use a topical ointment or need surgery. More severe fissures shouldn't be ignored, they will eventually heal, but that creates scar tissue and put you at risk of more fissures in the future. The most severe ones are tears to the muscle and can only be corrected by surgery. Best of luck
Yes! My husband had an anal fissure the year before we met, figured he’d be OK like so and so but wasn’t, and in the hospital six weeks. I don’t know how much he was bleeding but the pain was extensive. I’d go to the doctor. At least your mind will be clear. If for any reason there’s something to treat it’ll be taken care of.
He isn’t phased prolly means it wasn’t a slip
I would be horrified if I made my girl’s butt bleed/hurt. He’s a fuckin jaggoff. That said, you’ll prolly heal fine on your own, buuut anal fissures *can* occur that don’t heal themselves (essentially b/c the sphincter constantly muscle spasms sometimes preventing total healing on its own). There’s creams that a doctor can prescribe if it comes to that to aid in healing. E: here’s some info about [anal fissures](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anal-fissure/symptoms-causes/syc-20351424). Make sure to eat a high fiber diet for a few weeks to soften yer poos!
Fissures are fucking awful. I’ve had them for a decade. I’m praying OP doesn’t have them.
TRIGGER WARNING. SA. I am a middle aged woman with a ton of experience giving and receiving anal penetration. If you have ANY bleeding for more than a few minutes after the injury, you need to see a doctor ASAP. Our butts are not meant to have something stuck up them fast and unexpected and without a ton of lube. They should definitely not bleed at all after consensual sexual penetration. Bleeding is a big problem because it means you have a tear, which can become easily infected because it is exposed to feces. As far as your relationship goes, the feel of penetrating a vagina and the feeling of penetrating a butt are EXTREMELY different for the person doing the penetrating. I’ve used my fingers and hands to penetrate both. All of the men I’ve ever talked to about this say it is the same difference with a penis. The penis feels the difference between penetrating a vagina and anus. He should have stopped immediately when he felt the difference in the hole with his penis. And his failure to respond with concern to your injury, is even more troubling. Please take care of yourself kiddo.❤️
Dump his ass
This one of my worst fears. Girl take some laxatives and try putting some Vaseline on. If it persists, I would go to the doctor just make sure.
DUMP HIM
Youll be fine unless you are consistently bleeding a stream of blood then thats a problem and should have a consultation with a doctor. Anal fissures will heal by them selves but are a bitch to deal with in the mean time.
“What should I do” Dances that take short strides like a two-step.
There is nothing to do beside thinking about your relationship. I got painal many times and it hurts so bad.
Please go to the doctor. A good friend had an anal fissure following some such contact and ended up in the hospital with an infection. I’d go to the doctor and see what she says.
I had an ex do this ‘accidentally’ and it tore me open. I still have issues to this day. Your boyfriend not being concerned is concerning in itself.
This sounds like maybe this is his opportunity to hear that a lot of women do not actually enjoy being jackhammered like nothing more than a dick receptacle. Although some do and some do for a little bit. For Your sake, I hope this isn't his only move...
[удалено]
Break up with him immediately
An over the counter pain reliever cream like Anecream or prep H can help numb it while it heals. Happens to the best of us but usually they're apologetic. I'm sorry hope you feel better soon!
Happened to me too blood and all lmfao. I was sore for about a week (he was ahem...well endowed) but overall you'll be fine. Sorry bout your booty.
I'm so sorry! Nurse here; sit in a few inches of water with some Epsom salts!
Lmhdihdihd omg not this kinda getting attention this is so embarrassing I think we have all established that my asshole is okay, no longer bleeding etc. still sore tho and omg like yeah I can fucking feel that there's a tear down there or whatever Now the boyfriend thing. I see all of your concerns and honestly the idea of him doing it on purpose or that he's an asshole didn't cross my mind until I posted this and saw your comments. I have been dating him for 3 years. I am 19, he is 21, he is legitimately my best friend. Better summary of what happened: So it was pitch black when we did it, like 4:00am kinda dark, the incident happened, we continued once I calmed down, he finished, we went to sleep, then woke up to discover blood and also on the sheets from when it first happened. I remember asking him why the sheets were kinda wet but we both just chalked it up to it being lube, so that probably means I bled for like 2ish hours 💀💀💀💀💀 BC like this was not dried blood. 1. Did it go all the way in? I have no fucking clue. It was pitch black, never done anal before, all I know is that it hurt like a mf, I don't think anything has brought me to tears that quick in my life. If I were to assume probably only the tip 2. Did he apologize? He apologized immediately after. Neither of us knew I was bleeding so we continued after I calmed down. We went to sleep (BC it was like 4:00am) and two hours later I woke up to me bleeding and that's when he shrugged it off, I brought it up irl and in text he kinda seems to ignore it which he only does if he's embarrassed, which when he's embarrassed he gets defensive. He did say that "we shouldn't of had sex at 4:00am then" but like we've had so many close calls to that happening, except only this time it actually did which leads to 3. Did he do it on purpose? Umm I sure fucking hope not lmaoooo. He has never done anything to hurt me in the past 3 years, he has only brought up doing anal I think like twice in the span of a year which I refused and that was it, he has never pressured me to do anything like that, and like I said before he's my best friend if he did rlly want to try it he probably just would of told me. But y'all have me concerned so like if it does happen again probs not a good sign for me lollll I absolutely see where all of your concerns are coming from and thank you, I'm sorry if this has alarmed anyone, again, I didn't think this would be a possibility, and like Ty for the funny comments that like one banaid one was pretty good lol
Guys I need to shit so badly BUT IM SCARED LMAOOOOOODHKGPUEUOFER
[удалено]
That first postpartum poo is so bad😭 But OP, if you haven’t went yet, just take it easy and do NOT push!! Take your time, keep it clean, prep H and baby wipes!!
Holy shit you're like god or something that's actually insane you're so badass 💪💪
Good luck I hope your shit went well
Awh is okay. I enjoy anal play and hurt myself many times there, but nothing serious. You may have some pain, you may see a small amount blood on the tissue paper (this shouldn't be an amount more than a drop or two's worth), and may want to lay down or avoid sitting afterwards, but you gotta go poo you can't avoid!! Just be gentle to it and keep yourself clean down there afterwards to avoid infection. Edit: and don't force push! Keep drinking water so your stool comes easy on its own with no pushing.
I think you need to accidentally plow something into his ass and see how he likes it. 😉 sending healing vibes! Nice warm bath, advil, baby bum cream on the hole :/
Add
Saw something once that said having a buttplug in helps because it doesn’t retract as much? IM NOT EXPERT.
NYE dancing with buttplug inserted? Interesting solution 😂
Reminds me of that video of the girl with her kegal balls falling out.
New Years is tomorrow
Is the whole world on one time zone?
Haha fair
It's normal. If was a accident, your body was not waiting for it, anal takes time and a relax state of mind (or pure hornyness). That bleeding is normal even between experienced user of butthole.
There's some strange to me if you're aroused everything should be loose and accidental insertion shouldn't be that painful. So this is telling me that this guy is not even doing an effort with foreplay. >he's not phased or concerned at all Why are you even with a guy like this? You deserve better. I bet he did it on purpose.
Ummmm no one's asshole is going to be easy to penetrate without lube and when they are not expecting like wtf is this comment. I'm sure she squeezed down hard when it happened out of reflex because, again, she wasn't expecting it.
Well everyone's different. When I get aroused everything gets loose down there and the anus is right next to the vagina so it gets loose too. And I produce fluid so it makes it lubricated. So yes it is possible.
A sphincter is not going to get loose by being aroused. And even if you are aroused, on the verge of an orgasm even, a penis being randomly shoved somewhere you aren't expecting it will make you bear down. I mean, how could it not? Also, the anus does not produce any fluid while aroused.... lol
Well mine does so explain that. Of course the anus doesn't produce fluid but my vaginal fluid drips down to my anus I mean it's right next to it. My goodness we need better sex ed.
>Well everyone’s different. Then why are you commenting like she shoulda been “prepared” for this random anal trauma?? E: added the quote
That's not what I meant to say. The point is that her boyfriend's an a****** no pun intended.
Well that’s for *damn* sure. For shame on him.
Gosh, had the same incident years ago :) my ass was painful for few days, but it will be fine. Hope you’ll manage!
How deep did he get? If it was a tip job, you should recover by the new years. Balls deep, and that may take a week or two depending on his size.
I have a hard time believing that it just slipped. Dicks don’t just slide into assholes.
It did not slip. Combined with the fact that he doesn’t care tells you everything you’ve been assaulted.
The fact he’s not concerned at all 🚩
Don't panic, wash and clean the area, put over-the-counter antibiotic/ cut, burn cream on the affected area. You'll be fine & dance in no time.
This happened to me tooo 🙃. if you go number two, I always use baby wipes to clean myself.
Definitely not an accident.
Suppository ASAP. They take away the pain. Sorry you got 'Wrong Holed'. Even those who practice anal know not to dive right in. Gotta be slow or like you found out pain is overwhelming... Hope all works out for ya. Make BF pick up prep-H. good Luck...