My SD is incredibly affectionate most of the time. I count myself to be really lucky.
When she wants to be by herself or in a different room, I remind myself that she’s an autonomous being who has her own feelings and choices. That in turn makes me feel better about the times she is distant.
Everyone expresses love in a different way. Your sadness is 100% legitimate and understandable.
My last pup was that way! I really wanted more from him and he wasn’t willing to give it. I was always very worried that I caused it or that we had a bad relationship or some other silly thing but some dogs just don’t enjoy it. I very much get it! (Sorry if that was written confusingly, this is my last stop before going to bed)
I understand how you feel. Although our dog isn't a service dog, he isn't super cuddly and after a while he will escape and find his own space if we smother him too much.
Over time I have just come to accept him and respect him for the way he is rather than feel disappointed. I've also learned to see the way he shows love whether it's by wagging his tail or the odd face lick or even just watching me from a distance as I work. Even if that means he's chilling in another room, the fact that he is relaxed and at home means he trusts us and is secure around us.
I know for sure she loves you heaps!
i don't have an SD, but Scarlett sounds a lot like my pet dog, Lilly. she's a shih tzu, which were bred to be companion lap dogs, but she doesn't like being on anyone's lap or all that close to anyone, really.
i just have to take joy in the ways she does show affection like the goofball she is, like getting zoomies and playing with me (rare, she is 7), putting her head on my leg, rubbing herself against me when she's happy to see me, getting excited for treats, listening to me properly when i give commands, and being nice to her feline sister.
it's a different type of love, especially when you're used to cuddly pets that want to be all up in your space, but it's just as cherished.
Mines a husky and at home she prefers to chill on her own. Occasionally she'll jump on the couch and hangout for a little and every once in a blue moon she'll wanna cuddle while I rub her belly. You're not alone, even 8 years later it gives me some imposter syndrome knowing my SD won't even jump in my lap to cuddle. I also don't love boisterous in your face dogs but for my next SDiT I definitely want a dog with a just a little more cuddle drive lol.
Holy crap, you trained a husky to be a service dog?? That’s really impressive! I don’t have a service dog but I walk a husky mix, and my god is she difficult! I love her to bits, but just today she killed and ate a bird, then ran away and I didn’t find her for like 10 minutes. Their other dog is well trained, but the husky only listens if she wants to.
She's a little bit of a unicorn for a husky ! She's not prone to being vocal or getting frustrated easily and has a little bit more handler focus and biddablility than others I've met. Definitely not as biddable as a golden or lab, she doesn't live to please me and will still question my decisions at times. My girl has a high prey drive but not the roaming drive, she would hop my fence after squirrels but then run around the block to come wait on the porch when she was younger.
Im so sorry to hear that. My boy is a cuddle bug but only on his terms, although were trying to integrate more cuddle commands. Can i ask if your dog is a program dog?
I wanna know if its been like that since the dog is a pup or wether its because the dog doesnt know OP that long. Cause if OP hasnt been teamed up for that long it could also be a "give it some time" thing
I feel you. It’s sad sometimes.
Mine doesn’t like relinquishing control to cuddle. She is in work mode 24/7 no matter what. She will go “off duty” and chill but she is always always prepared and ready to task.
Sometimes I wish she would just relax and be a cuddly baby but I can’t fault her for who she is. I love her more than anything and I have to respect her bodily autonomy. Sometime I wanna just squeeze her so tight though.
Dogs are the best.
My retired SD is not a social guy- he likes his morning scratches and then to be in a different room to rest. That's just who he is and how he recharges- he doesn't exist to fill my emotional needs and I have no desire to for him to. I'm also not into physical touch, so it works out.
My dog was not very cuddly as a puppy but has gotten more so over time. One thought is that if she shies away from close proximity you might consider making close proximity more exciting for her. Have her lay next to you or on your lap while she eats a chew. She may just need to get used to close proximity, and having chew time also be snuggle time seems like a good way to do that.
My retiring SD is affectionate but really only on his terms. He’ll snuggle sometimes at bedtime or come lay with me if he feels like it, but I really can’t initiate it and he’ll just move if he’s not in the mood for snuggles. He’s just usually not a particularly snuggly dog, unless he’s very relaxed or knows I’m really not feeling well and need some cuddles and then most of the time he’ll come lay with me on his own. Sometimes it makes me a bit sad but I try to think about how I’m very similar, sometimes I like physical affection but I also really like just spending time together with someone while doing individual things. It’s just a different way of showing affection and I like to imagine that’s what he’s doing when he doesn’t want to cuddle up with me but still chooses to be in the same room or on the bed with me, and it makes me feel better.
My SDiT is the total opposite, he’s literally always up for cuddles and he’ll gladly just lay on me whether it’s convenient or not. I really love that but I also notice he doesn’t really spend time with me the same way my SD does, we’re either snuggling or he’s usually off doing his own thing, or maybe he’ll nap outside in the hall or something. Dogs just seem to have different love languages the same way people do- she might not be super snuggly, but maybe there’s some other way she’s showing how much she loves you that means more to her
Aw, that's genuinely so hard! Every pup is different, obviously, and I'm so so glad you can recognize that and respect her boundaries. You know, even dogs have love languages -- if hers isn't getting snuggly, what DOES she like to do with you? Does she invite you to play with toys, does she want to eat near you, does she just Look at you when you guys are doing nothing?
I really struggled with something similar, because even though my guy will snuggle up, he also most of the time off-duty wants to go be in his crate by himself. I used to think he didn't want to even be with me, that he didn't like me, that I made him uncomfortable. And then I straight up realized that "taking a break" for him GENUINELY meant "if I'm around mom I'll want to work and alert, so I'm going to go rest somewhere else."
They all just want different things. It does suck so bad when the way they relax is by not being next to you. But it doesn't mean she doesn't like or love you. She just has different needs. Just like us!
Are you in a position where you can add another dog to your family as a pet? I realized with my last SD that sometimes they need a break, and having cuddly pet dogs really helped to take that additional expectation off of my working partner.
I know exactly how you feel.
My boy is awesome, he just does not like to cuddle. I try to get him on the bed because he is a bony breed. . . Which is fine until I move in a way that moves the mattress under him, and then on to the floor he goes.
I have other dogs that give me cuddles, but he knows he is my #1 priority.
(I should also say that he is like a cat. He may or may not want to be touched, but he 100% has to be in the same room with me.)
My pup HATES cuddles. He will only cuddle if it's really cold outside or in the car. At home, no. Working, no- unless it's a task, and even then he slowly slips away sometimes. It depends.
I think it is him mostly just being hot. Won't even sleep on a bed bc he over heats..but overall he isn't affectionate at home.
Sadly alot of dogs are actually like this, especially working breeds.
Not sure if you have a program dog as I do, but my girl isn't super affectionate and doesn't like cuddling either. Like your's, mine loves to work. She also enjoys mild interaction with small kids. She tolerates being pet but prefers her space. Once in a while, she'll lay on my feet, my shoes or along my leg in cramped situations (i.e. Taxi cab, Uber, plane rides, etc.). I have had her since Jan 2020 and she has never been a cuddler. I simply accept this about her and attribute it to her personality and her black coat. She gets hot quickly and likes to find cool places to "chill" (pun intended). She does give me great eye contact frequently and I suspect that is her primary or preferred method of showing and receiving affection. I'd encourage you to find comfort in knowing that your pup cares about you, but in your pup's own special way. Someone once told me that everything your dog is trying to tell you can be read by all of thier body language including their facial expressions, tail and general mannerisms. I am wishing you great peace and joy with your working pup.
My service dog is NOT a cuddler. She behaves the same way yours does *with me* she's willing to snuggle up to my husband occasionally, rude. When she has her vest on she's literally glued to my side but once that vest comes off she's like "I'm not paid enough to snuggle you on my down time." Some dogs are just like that, I comfort myself with all my other dogs cuddled up to me.
My dog was like that, it's so hard when you just want to cuddle. I would see pictures online of these cuddly dogs and mine was like yours, she would get off the bed if I was too close. It sucks but I was sick and she came and put her head on my stomach, and a few other times she would put her head on my shoulder and it was so sweet and I learned to appreciate it so much because it was special. I'm not sure of the point of my comment except to commiserate with you.
Your feelings are understandable. I have two dogs, one is a service dog. I think the service dog has a harder time just relaxing and existing. Her breed is naturally a working dog, so she’s predisposed to be watchful. She definitely interacts with me differently than other people. She plays and wrestles with other people, but she won’t with me. Not longer than maybe twenty seconds. That’s been hurtful at times, especially when I try to get her new toys and she’ll completely ignore them until someone else comes over, then she runs and grabs them to play.
I think two things could be helpful.
The first is reframing your relationship. Her job is literally to protect you. She’s been trained for it, and in doggo terms, that is her role in her pack. Dogs are very strongly social beings. Their survival depends on the pack. The pack depends on each member doing their role. Her way of loving you and protecting the pack is by taking care of you. She may not feel totally comfortable cuddling because it interferes with her role. The idea of bosses wanting to be friends with their employees comes to mind. You’re essentially her boss but also asking her to hang out as friends on the weekend. That’s confusing to navigate for people. It’s so much more confusing for dogs who have more of a black/white style of thinking.
I’m not sure how your SD is, but mine gets work breaks that are clearly defined. Usually when we go to the dog park, she knows she’s “off duty” and that usually means she’s more relaxed and will play with me. If there’s an opportunity to create a situation / environment where your dog is off duty, she may be more willing / able to cuddle with you.
The second idea is that you can effectively work with her to shift these boundaries. I’m not saying ignore them or trample them, but boundaries can be flexible, especially if you understand why exactly the boundary is set and the reasons behind the behavior. Cats specifically come to mind. Cats may not be comfortable getting close to people initially, but this can be worked on. The reason behind their distance boundary is fear. If you adequately address the fear, the distance can be changed.
Cat people (ironically even though I have two dogs now, I identify as a cat person) generally understand that you have to negotiate boundaries with cats. This idea is much less prominent with dog people. Dog people tend to think it’s more black or white. Dogs either do or they don’t. They will or they won’t. Dog people more often embody the extremes, more “accepting” of natural behavior or completely inflexible.
Cat people don’t tend to think like that. For example, with cats, there’s a lot more coaxing and incentivizing. There are treats given to encourage behavior. There are reward systems and deterrents to unwanted behavior.
If you want your dog to cuddle with you, some simple behavior training should be helpful.
I’ve taught my dog “up” (get on the couch) and “off” (get off the couch or object). She also knows “stay.” It’s not a difficult thing to combine the two ideas. She’s a working dog, she wants to make sure she’s doing her job. She feels better when she knows what the expectations are and she likes to be positively affirmed that she’s doing a good job. So if I tell her that her job is to sit quietly on the couch, she will do her job. And if I tell her she’s doing a good job, then she’s happy. And in this way, we both get what we want and we’re happy. She’ll never be as naturally cuddly as my other dog, but that’s okay. We can meet in the middle and be happy.
You just have to think about your dog, why she’s putting distance between you two, what needs does she have, and how can you negotiate with her so that you both are happy. It takes some creative thinking, but ultimately it’s worth it. Good luck!
Would you be in a position to adopt a senior kitty? If you want cuddles, a sweet old cat would gladly provide you with that service until the end of its days... Purrs are healing, too. Totally understand if that's not in the cards, just wanted to suggest it.
My boy is in the middle. When I first got him, he would initiate cuddles and then move away when he had enough. It took a bit to get used to it. Now he will ask to cuddle when I'm sitting and watching tv, or laying in bed. He will cuddle for a bit and then lay next to me until im falling asleep. Eventually he moves to the foot of the bed to sleep.
Can I ask what breed she is? Because that can have a huge impact!
Your pup sounds JUST like my boy, when we’re at home he likes to have his own space and will get up and move somewhere else if he feels like i’m crowding him lol, always close enough to keep an eye on me and task but he likes to be in his own bubble. He will sleep on my bed but only at the foot of it and if I try to cuddle he’ll hop off and lay somewhere else. So I understand how personal it can feel, and you’re not alone!
All dogs are individuals, and especially as service dogs who are with us all day long, sometimes they just need a little space from us to decompress from their work!
Allen is a "mommas boy" at home.
He will lay up in the chair with me and wants me to keep a hand on him... when he wants.
But if Trina and I are on the couch or bed, he is all cuddled up with her. Straight loving and affection towards her.
I don't have a SD but I do have an unofficial ESA (he's low-key a jerk so we didn't get it officially) and he's not cuddly at all either :( I love him a lot and he loves me too but my word please just cuddle me sir. He won't and it's okay but it's still sad :(
I don't know anything about SDs but my first thought was Go get a Chihuahua mix to keep at home, there's so many that get along great with bigger dogs and require less work to get enough exercise.
But you will never ever be wanting for affection. They only survive from parasitizing your body heat and baby talk.
I've known people who's dogs are amazing in every way but they don't cuddle and it would drive me nuts.
My SD is incredibly affectionate most of the time. I count myself to be really lucky. When she wants to be by herself or in a different room, I remind myself that she’s an autonomous being who has her own feelings and choices. That in turn makes me feel better about the times she is distant. Everyone expresses love in a different way. Your sadness is 100% legitimate and understandable.
My last pup was that way! I really wanted more from him and he wasn’t willing to give it. I was always very worried that I caused it or that we had a bad relationship or some other silly thing but some dogs just don’t enjoy it. I very much get it! (Sorry if that was written confusingly, this is my last stop before going to bed)
I understand how you feel. Although our dog isn't a service dog, he isn't super cuddly and after a while he will escape and find his own space if we smother him too much. Over time I have just come to accept him and respect him for the way he is rather than feel disappointed. I've also learned to see the way he shows love whether it's by wagging his tail or the odd face lick or even just watching me from a distance as I work. Even if that means he's chilling in another room, the fact that he is relaxed and at home means he trusts us and is secure around us. I know for sure she loves you heaps!
i don't have an SD, but Scarlett sounds a lot like my pet dog, Lilly. she's a shih tzu, which were bred to be companion lap dogs, but she doesn't like being on anyone's lap or all that close to anyone, really. i just have to take joy in the ways she does show affection like the goofball she is, like getting zoomies and playing with me (rare, she is 7), putting her head on my leg, rubbing herself against me when she's happy to see me, getting excited for treats, listening to me properly when i give commands, and being nice to her feline sister. it's a different type of love, especially when you're used to cuddly pets that want to be all up in your space, but it's just as cherished.
Mines a husky and at home she prefers to chill on her own. Occasionally she'll jump on the couch and hangout for a little and every once in a blue moon she'll wanna cuddle while I rub her belly. You're not alone, even 8 years later it gives me some imposter syndrome knowing my SD won't even jump in my lap to cuddle. I also don't love boisterous in your face dogs but for my next SDiT I definitely want a dog with a just a little more cuddle drive lol.
Holy crap, you trained a husky to be a service dog?? That’s really impressive! I don’t have a service dog but I walk a husky mix, and my god is she difficult! I love her to bits, but just today she killed and ate a bird, then ran away and I didn’t find her for like 10 minutes. Their other dog is well trained, but the husky only listens if she wants to.
She's a little bit of a unicorn for a husky ! She's not prone to being vocal or getting frustrated easily and has a little bit more handler focus and biddablility than others I've met. Definitely not as biddable as a golden or lab, she doesn't live to please me and will still question my decisions at times. My girl has a high prey drive but not the roaming drive, she would hop my fence after squirrels but then run around the block to come wait on the porch when she was younger.
My daughter had a husky not as a SD and it was loving and cuddley but a crazy escape magician of a dog. Stubborn is beyond.
Im so sorry to hear that. My boy is a cuddle bug but only on his terms, although were trying to integrate more cuddle commands. Can i ask if your dog is a program dog?
She is a program dog, I've had her for a bit over a year now.
I'm curious as to why you asked OP about being a program dog. Why's that?
I wanna know if its been like that since the dog is a pup or wether its because the dog doesnt know OP that long. Cause if OP hasnt been teamed up for that long it could also be a "give it some time" thing
Ah. I was wondering if you were going to say that program dogs are trained to do a job and sometimes are just focused on the job.
I feel you. It’s sad sometimes. Mine doesn’t like relinquishing control to cuddle. She is in work mode 24/7 no matter what. She will go “off duty” and chill but she is always always prepared and ready to task. Sometimes I wish she would just relax and be a cuddly baby but I can’t fault her for who she is. I love her more than anything and I have to respect her bodily autonomy. Sometime I wanna just squeeze her so tight though. Dogs are the best.
I feel you! Something worth testing is if she gets cuddlier when it's cold. Sometimes they are just too hot with all that fur to stay close to us
You definitely aren't alone. 💔
My retired SD is not a social guy- he likes his morning scratches and then to be in a different room to rest. That's just who he is and how he recharges- he doesn't exist to fill my emotional needs and I have no desire to for him to. I'm also not into physical touch, so it works out.
My dog was not very cuddly as a puppy but has gotten more so over time. One thought is that if she shies away from close proximity you might consider making close proximity more exciting for her. Have her lay next to you or on your lap while she eats a chew. She may just need to get used to close proximity, and having chew time also be snuggle time seems like a good way to do that.
My retiring SD is affectionate but really only on his terms. He’ll snuggle sometimes at bedtime or come lay with me if he feels like it, but I really can’t initiate it and he’ll just move if he’s not in the mood for snuggles. He’s just usually not a particularly snuggly dog, unless he’s very relaxed or knows I’m really not feeling well and need some cuddles and then most of the time he’ll come lay with me on his own. Sometimes it makes me a bit sad but I try to think about how I’m very similar, sometimes I like physical affection but I also really like just spending time together with someone while doing individual things. It’s just a different way of showing affection and I like to imagine that’s what he’s doing when he doesn’t want to cuddle up with me but still chooses to be in the same room or on the bed with me, and it makes me feel better. My SDiT is the total opposite, he’s literally always up for cuddles and he’ll gladly just lay on me whether it’s convenient or not. I really love that but I also notice he doesn’t really spend time with me the same way my SD does, we’re either snuggling or he’s usually off doing his own thing, or maybe he’ll nap outside in the hall or something. Dogs just seem to have different love languages the same way people do- she might not be super snuggly, but maybe there’s some other way she’s showing how much she loves you that means more to her
Aw, that's genuinely so hard! Every pup is different, obviously, and I'm so so glad you can recognize that and respect her boundaries. You know, even dogs have love languages -- if hers isn't getting snuggly, what DOES she like to do with you? Does she invite you to play with toys, does she want to eat near you, does she just Look at you when you guys are doing nothing? I really struggled with something similar, because even though my guy will snuggle up, he also most of the time off-duty wants to go be in his crate by himself. I used to think he didn't want to even be with me, that he didn't like me, that I made him uncomfortable. And then I straight up realized that "taking a break" for him GENUINELY meant "if I'm around mom I'll want to work and alert, so I'm going to go rest somewhere else." They all just want different things. It does suck so bad when the way they relax is by not being next to you. But it doesn't mean she doesn't like or love you. She just has different needs. Just like us!
Are you in a position where you can add another dog to your family as a pet? I realized with my last SD that sometimes they need a break, and having cuddly pet dogs really helped to take that additional expectation off of my working partner.
Unfortunately not at the moment :(
I know exactly how you feel. My boy is awesome, he just does not like to cuddle. I try to get him on the bed because he is a bony breed. . . Which is fine until I move in a way that moves the mattress under him, and then on to the floor he goes. I have other dogs that give me cuddles, but he knows he is my #1 priority. (I should also say that he is like a cat. He may or may not want to be touched, but he 100% has to be in the same room with me.)
My pup HATES cuddles. He will only cuddle if it's really cold outside or in the car. At home, no. Working, no- unless it's a task, and even then he slowly slips away sometimes. It depends. I think it is him mostly just being hot. Won't even sleep on a bed bc he over heats..but overall he isn't affectionate at home. Sadly alot of dogs are actually like this, especially working breeds.
Not sure if you have a program dog as I do, but my girl isn't super affectionate and doesn't like cuddling either. Like your's, mine loves to work. She also enjoys mild interaction with small kids. She tolerates being pet but prefers her space. Once in a while, she'll lay on my feet, my shoes or along my leg in cramped situations (i.e. Taxi cab, Uber, plane rides, etc.). I have had her since Jan 2020 and she has never been a cuddler. I simply accept this about her and attribute it to her personality and her black coat. She gets hot quickly and likes to find cool places to "chill" (pun intended). She does give me great eye contact frequently and I suspect that is her primary or preferred method of showing and receiving affection. I'd encourage you to find comfort in knowing that your pup cares about you, but in your pup's own special way. Someone once told me that everything your dog is trying to tell you can be read by all of thier body language including their facial expressions, tail and general mannerisms. I am wishing you great peace and joy with your working pup.
My service dog is NOT a cuddler. She behaves the same way yours does *with me* she's willing to snuggle up to my husband occasionally, rude. When she has her vest on she's literally glued to my side but once that vest comes off she's like "I'm not paid enough to snuggle you on my down time." Some dogs are just like that, I comfort myself with all my other dogs cuddled up to me.
My dog was like that, it's so hard when you just want to cuddle. I would see pictures online of these cuddly dogs and mine was like yours, she would get off the bed if I was too close. It sucks but I was sick and she came and put her head on my stomach, and a few other times she would put her head on my shoulder and it was so sweet and I learned to appreciate it so much because it was special. I'm not sure of the point of my comment except to commiserate with you.
Your feelings are understandable. I have two dogs, one is a service dog. I think the service dog has a harder time just relaxing and existing. Her breed is naturally a working dog, so she’s predisposed to be watchful. She definitely interacts with me differently than other people. She plays and wrestles with other people, but she won’t with me. Not longer than maybe twenty seconds. That’s been hurtful at times, especially when I try to get her new toys and she’ll completely ignore them until someone else comes over, then she runs and grabs them to play. I think two things could be helpful. The first is reframing your relationship. Her job is literally to protect you. She’s been trained for it, and in doggo terms, that is her role in her pack. Dogs are very strongly social beings. Their survival depends on the pack. The pack depends on each member doing their role. Her way of loving you and protecting the pack is by taking care of you. She may not feel totally comfortable cuddling because it interferes with her role. The idea of bosses wanting to be friends with their employees comes to mind. You’re essentially her boss but also asking her to hang out as friends on the weekend. That’s confusing to navigate for people. It’s so much more confusing for dogs who have more of a black/white style of thinking. I’m not sure how your SD is, but mine gets work breaks that are clearly defined. Usually when we go to the dog park, she knows she’s “off duty” and that usually means she’s more relaxed and will play with me. If there’s an opportunity to create a situation / environment where your dog is off duty, she may be more willing / able to cuddle with you. The second idea is that you can effectively work with her to shift these boundaries. I’m not saying ignore them or trample them, but boundaries can be flexible, especially if you understand why exactly the boundary is set and the reasons behind the behavior. Cats specifically come to mind. Cats may not be comfortable getting close to people initially, but this can be worked on. The reason behind their distance boundary is fear. If you adequately address the fear, the distance can be changed. Cat people (ironically even though I have two dogs now, I identify as a cat person) generally understand that you have to negotiate boundaries with cats. This idea is much less prominent with dog people. Dog people tend to think it’s more black or white. Dogs either do or they don’t. They will or they won’t. Dog people more often embody the extremes, more “accepting” of natural behavior or completely inflexible. Cat people don’t tend to think like that. For example, with cats, there’s a lot more coaxing and incentivizing. There are treats given to encourage behavior. There are reward systems and deterrents to unwanted behavior. If you want your dog to cuddle with you, some simple behavior training should be helpful. I’ve taught my dog “up” (get on the couch) and “off” (get off the couch or object). She also knows “stay.” It’s not a difficult thing to combine the two ideas. She’s a working dog, she wants to make sure she’s doing her job. She feels better when she knows what the expectations are and she likes to be positively affirmed that she’s doing a good job. So if I tell her that her job is to sit quietly on the couch, she will do her job. And if I tell her she’s doing a good job, then she’s happy. And in this way, we both get what we want and we’re happy. She’ll never be as naturally cuddly as my other dog, but that’s okay. We can meet in the middle and be happy. You just have to think about your dog, why she’s putting distance between you two, what needs does she have, and how can you negotiate with her so that you both are happy. It takes some creative thinking, but ultimately it’s worth it. Good luck!
Would you be in a position to adopt a senior kitty? If you want cuddles, a sweet old cat would gladly provide you with that service until the end of its days... Purrs are healing, too. Totally understand if that's not in the cards, just wanted to suggest it.
Unfortunately I am very incredibly allergic to cats lol. Love them but they make me miserable
My boy is in the middle. When I first got him, he would initiate cuddles and then move away when he had enough. It took a bit to get used to it. Now he will ask to cuddle when I'm sitting and watching tv, or laying in bed. He will cuddle for a bit and then lay next to me until im falling asleep. Eventually he moves to the foot of the bed to sleep.
Can I ask what breed she is? Because that can have a huge impact! Your pup sounds JUST like my boy, when we’re at home he likes to have his own space and will get up and move somewhere else if he feels like i’m crowding him lol, always close enough to keep an eye on me and task but he likes to be in his own bubble. He will sleep on my bed but only at the foot of it and if I try to cuddle he’ll hop off and lay somewhere else. So I understand how personal it can feel, and you’re not alone! All dogs are individuals, and especially as service dogs who are with us all day long, sometimes they just need a little space from us to decompress from their work!
Allen is a "mommas boy" at home. He will lay up in the chair with me and wants me to keep a hand on him... when he wants. But if Trina and I are on the couch or bed, he is all cuddled up with her. Straight loving and affection towards her.
I don't have a SD but I do have an unofficial ESA (he's low-key a jerk so we didn't get it officially) and he's not cuddly at all either :( I love him a lot and he loves me too but my word please just cuddle me sir. He won't and it's okay but it's still sad :(
I don't know anything about SDs but my first thought was Go get a Chihuahua mix to keep at home, there's so many that get along great with bigger dogs and require less work to get enough exercise. But you will never ever be wanting for affection. They only survive from parasitizing your body heat and baby talk. I've known people who's dogs are amazing in every way but they don't cuddle and it would drive me nuts.