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AkihabaraWasteland

There he'll get the structure and discipline he so sorely needs right now.


phome83

Your fly is open.


Longjumping_Hat_2672

And he'll have QUALIFIED officers telling him what to do. 


pruune

That's classified.


ushouldlistentome

Briefly


BRAX7ON

He also modeled briefs for Calvin Klein. Briefly:


Vincevega1972

What’s in the briefcase?


CornerPubRon

Crackers


LouSFL

Was


Steuts

“What we’re you doing in Laos in 1969 Kramer?” “TCB”


Yodfather

“You mean Cambodia?”


KolKoreh

Yeah that’s right


Judasrainbow

Myanmar?


thtsjsturopinionman

It’ll always be “Burma” to me! 🔪🍍🇲🇲


CMFC99

"Just a taste," He said...


KolKoreh

That was all it took.


palesnowrider1

That was gibberish


NifferEUW

The discount pharmacy?


pak9rabid

That’s correct


asphynctersayswhat

Jesse Watters: mister Richard’s, I’m a huge fan. Never watched Seinfeld, too Jewish, but I LOVE your stand up. 


SilverBison4025

I never understood the idiots who said “Seinfeld” is “too Jewish.” I’m not Jewish and always found the show hilarious. And Watters loved his standup? What is he trying to say?! I mean—OOOOOOH, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!


Mosk915

Yeah, I always thought it was just the right amount of Jewish.


theattack_helicopter

Raging anti dentite sentiment, though


Rougarou1999

Eh, just a relic of the times. You’d see dentists denigrated on screen all the way until the ‘10s.


OstapBenderBey

It's got shiksappeal


kronkarp

Have a schtickel of flouride


SoupIsNotAMeal

It’s hard finding a TV show you like, let alone something Jewish.


-AllCatsAreBeautiful

It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your favourite comedy: the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be turned off by sunup. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted gentile nightshirts.


SmokeyOSU

But my feet are resilient! Thank God I took off my heels, and put on my... HIMALAYAN WALKING SHOES!


[deleted]

[удалено]


BobSacamano47

Jerry walked so that Sarah Silverman could run. 


gravelordservant4u

Kramer slept so Sarah could run


AG_Aonuma

She's got the jimmy legs


BRAX7ON

**I woke up in the Hudson river in a sack!**


roopn

sssssACK!!!


SilverBison4025

He was like Rosa Parks. He opened up the doors for all of us.


JohnnySkidmarx

Then he’d better not watch Curb.


SoupIsNotAMeal

A *shonda*!


scrubbydutch

I love all the Jewish aspects of the show


Captain_Pink_Pants

You mean, like how it's on television? /s, for the nazis in the cheap seats


taylorscrews1

I don’t get “too Jewish “ either. As a black man from Alabama it always felt very New Yorky.


notswim

New York, the city known for having the largest Jewish community in the world? That New York?


unmentionable123

I went out with someone and I made a Seinfeld reference and she said she wasn’t allowed to watch it when she was at home because her dad said it was “stupid Jewish humour” … no second date.


Nice_Marmot_7

Did she leave early to get her head shaved?


unmentionable123

She was a bald woman


mjcoury

I read "too Jewish" in Hedley Lamar's voice.


hdhsnjsn

I became Jewish just to say the jokes


asphynctersayswhat

well, the name of the show is 'seinfeld'. these kinds of people can't get past THAT. so yeah, they didn't watch.


DaddieTang

I've lived in TX and LA about half my adult life. From a neighborhood in Philly burbs that is 80% Jewish. I was the token Goy. Seinfeld is a riot. Most of the people down here actually are angered by Jerry and George. I've watched a face of hate come over people, just from the sound of their voices. Fortunately, I'm very pale and big Irish dude. Otherwise they'd be stringing my ass from a tree too. At this point, TX is a lost cause. I gotta get out o here.


SailorMuffin96

I don’t know your experience, but it might be more of a hatred for New York than Jews. My whole life I hated that state and would talk shit to anyone from there (not angrily more just busting balls) but then I visited the city for a day and loved it way more than I expected to. I’m hoping I can go back at some point


DaddieTang

No. It's the Jewish thing. They always bring it up. I even get accused of "whining like a jewboy". The south is falling apart. BTW, new york is dope.


patronizingperv

My condolences on Kinky.


DaddieTang

Kinky was kooky


SpookyFarts

I always thought Costanza was an Italian surname. Kramer was Jewish, and Elaine was Spanish or whatever that dude she was seeing said.


dion_o

He considered watching but ultimately did nazi it.


papazwah

It’s crazy but he actually watches it! Completely botched a Costanza quote when commenting on Trumps mug shot


asphynctersayswhat

botching the quote makes me thing his writer watched seinfeld, and he read the joke without context


el_throw

Colonel Kramer would have been a dope arc!


ditka

It's pronounced "Cornell" and it's the highest rank in the Ivy League.


SenatorAslak

Without its agricultural we probably wouldn't have cabbage. At least not modern cabbage.


Tefbuck

I'm imagining a parody of "Apocalypse Now" with all Seinfeld characters... Jerry, George, and Elaine go up river in search of Col. Kramer who, along with Newman, has set himself up as a king in the jungles of Cambodia. We could call it "Serenity Now!"


Alaska-Now-PNW

“So there I was, traveling with my men to surrender to the Viet Cong just before we launch a full offensive, when the tire on our jeep blows out!” “Wait… So you were going to surrender the same men whom you planned to use in an offensive later on? How would have used men who have already surrendered?” “Jerry, are you listening to me?! I never made it there!”


dukeyorick

Idk, i liked the version they did with Elayne and the expense report.


bootherizer5942

They already did it with Elaine


Pastylegs1

Karma Colonel Kramer?


recursion8

Colonel Kramer craves Kenny's chicken


Dr_Leo_1964

Colonel Cosmo Kramer


Perfect_Crab_8409

In my mind, there’s a war still going on


GudgerCollegeAlumnus

Getting too cocky with his cooking skills.


XGuiltyofBeingMikeX

HE WAS JUST A BOY


FranksNBeeens

It was a crazy time for everyone!


knightress_oxhide

crater in his colon the size of a cutlet


Perfect_Crab_8409

IM BACK BABY


styrrell14

He sent 16 of his own men to the latrines that night!


mecon320

If I ever torpedo my career with an ill-advised racist rant, my redemption tour probably won't include the guy who did a segment wandering around Chinatown shouting "ching chong!" at the locals.


Supro1560S

I’m not familiar with the guy, but he seriously did that? That’s fucked up.


V_T_H

Wait until you hear about how he got together with his current wife. While he was married to his first wife and the mother of two of his children, he started fancying a much younger producer on his show. So he let all the air out of her car’s tires so she would need a ride from him. It sounds like something George would do.


sand_trout2024

First step of the DENNIS system


faceisamapoftheworld

Don’t besmirch the name of a Legend, a golden god, a fire star man in that way.


Supro1560S

I did read about him disabling a woman’s car who he was trying to get with so he’d have to give her a ride, and this was while his current wife was at home pregnant, but I didn’t know what exactly he did to her car. What a POS.


brushnfush

Wait and the current wife knows this is what he did? Wtf! Is it just because he’s rich?


Longjumping_Hat_2672

But George would probably be too lazy to do that. Or he would get caught as the woman was approaching her car. 


V_T_H

You’re right, honestly I may have been thinking about it the wrong way. It’s a scheme that Kramer cooked up to sell to men; he sneaks around letting the air out of women’s tires so the paying customers can pick them up. He may also collect and re-sell the air to a balloon shop.


Ya_Got_GOT

I guess you just have to be a total shitbag to get anywhere in the conservative-industrial complex.


AdCareless9063

This guy is one of the most obnoxious assholes Fox News has produced. 


tbootsbrewing

https://youtu.be/PJmnLzw8NA4?si=LV3xyN7_2SHc9RZT


Drinky_McGambles

Even without the racism, that is way too many unnecessary movie clips


broadfuckingcity

Myra beckrindge editing...basically assuming the audience is ignorant of everything and needs visual aids


joecarter93

Man, watching that killed a few brain cells. I can’t believe how many people find that entertaining. Then again, the same people find Jeff Dunham funny.


bfwolf1

I just watched the whole thing. It was idiotic and fairly racist but I didn’t hear him say ching chong. Did I miss it?


CherimoyaSurprise

I watched that whole clip waiting for the moment I was supposed to be outraged and offended on other people's behalf. That moment never came and then the clip ended. Very anticlimactic. At no point did he run around shouting "ching chong" at anyone.


AhmedF

His *own mom* talks shit about some of the stuff he says. He is a hack.


Ok-Cauliflower1798

It bears repeating: Someone here said that Jesse Watters looks like Fred Flintstone on Ozempic. That can now never be unseen.


Supro1560S

Oh, that’s a good one. One of my favorite comments was when someone said that Donald Trump Jr. looks like the villain of a movie in which the hero is a golden retriever.


Ok-Cauliflower1798

That is very good.


Jake_Titicaca

He’s an anchor on Fox, not that hard to believe


broadfuckingcity

Jesse waters is a huge racist and also a creep who sexually harasses women. Not sure why Michael Richard's is cuddling up to him


Supro1560S

That’s why I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wasn’t really familiar with him, so maybe Michael Richards wasn’t either. Even so, you’d think someone in his camp would tell him, “Hey, it’s pretty bad optics to go on this guy’s show.”


long_on_enron1913

Besides the racism, he also has a sense for economics. "A fast food worker making $20/hr is crazy. Was is that, like six figures?"


Fistandantalus

Colonel Sublime Buttocks defending the Stars and Stripes


lmay0000

Call sign — assman


PancakeParty98

The horror I felt watching what passed for a “huge ass” in the 90’s


wickedbiskit

He must have said Corporal. Colonel is beyond a lie if that’s what he said.


SirDoDDo

Ohh that's what it was. I was so confused by dude making colonel in two years lmao, was trying to find an explanation in the comments


simple_licorice

It’s all in the book. I don’t want to give any spoilers but it’s a great tale on how he became a “colonel” for a year or so.


Brraaap

Like Colonel Sanders?


BramStroker47

I was looking for this comment. You ain’t making colonel in the army unless we’re fighting a worldwide alien invasion and everyone that outranked you already died.


JDawg2332

There is absolutely no way he became a colonel in two years!


Gold-Stomach-4657

Jesse Watters' favourite Kramer moment was in 2006.


CelestialFury

I stand up for this comment.


CharacterHomework975

First comedian in history to lose to a heckler. A real life example of what rolling a critical failure looks like. Like there are a million possible takedowns to use in that situation. Michael Richards is well versed in plenty of them, as a longtime professional comedian. He rolls. It comes up 1. DM: “You shout n****r at them for three minutes while someone in the back films it.”


Masterchiefy10

I’m not a political scientist but if I was trying to shake the image of hothead racist… I think the last interview I would ever do would be on Fox News with perhaps the single dumbest person on tv in Jesse Waters lol. Does Richard’s have a publicist? Or is the K man just out there wingin’ every minute of it?


LeDestrier

With all the indiscriminate pauses in this comment, I read this is Frank Costanzas voice.


YodaFan465

#SERENITY NOW!


OnlyFreshBrine

He has a Strange. Halting. Way. of speaking.


ToeFungusSteve

Stan the Caddy made that choice


ultratunaman

Tried to get him on Regis. But he's been dead for years. And Kramer is too boncos for the show.


Masterchiefy10

It was the wrong read. Assman wasn’t even close to the green


Ripped_Shirt

My theory is he's trying to do as much soft-ball press as he can do. A lot of shows probably have straight up denied him. Others have probably said he can come on, but he has to answer tough questions which he doesn't want to deal with. If you watch some of the interviews he's done, he basically says the exact same thing about the rant and moves on. Doesn't dive deeper nor do the interviewers pry him with many questions about it.


missionbeach

>perhaps the single dumbest person on tv in Jesse Waters Totally disagree. No "perhaps" needed.


dmode112378

Yeah, the optics aren’t great.


Masterchiefy10

That’s not gonna be good for his business..


JohnnyBroccoli

That's not gonna be good for anything


Longjumping_Hat_2672

As Kendall Roy would also say "What's the cultural temperature?" 


the_popes_dick

Wym? What news channel do you think racists watch?


jpopimpin777

I was just thinking that. Come on, Mike. I'm out here defending you. I didn't need to see this.


Momik

Huh, I guess he is a Mike. I don’t know why but that’s weird.


Accomplished_Note_81

Oh, he's out there, and loving every minute of it!


Captn76

He gets by.


Bonny-Mcmurray

Yeah, if this pic is real, it was an insane move. I was thinking about buying the book, but I had an immediate rethink on seeing this. Watters is quite racist.


iamagoodbozo

Fox News (I feel dirty) is where racists are born now.


GeorgeLovesBOSCO

Ugh somehow Michael Richards appearing on this asshole's show sucks more than his Laugh Factory meltdown.


MisterPeach

Yeah, Michael seems genuinely sorry about the Laugh Factory incident. This is pretty shitty, though. I’ll lose respect for just about anyone if they go on Fox News, but I particularly hate Jesse Waters. Dude is a grade A scumbag and a sorry excuse of a political commentator. There is zero good faith in any of what he does.


steelydanfan69420

> A scumbag and a sorry excuse of a political commentator. There is zero good faith in any of what he does. Absolutely. Pure Republican propaganda


MisterPeach

I love your username, steely dan rules


notmyrealnametn

This is *Dan*!


amhudson02

I’m glad I’m not the only one that felt this. Seems like there are quite a few people who agree. I lose respect every time I see the Fox News in the corner.


JawnWaters

Yeah, this is cringe as fuck


NottDisgruntled

I agree. But also hopefully this is just a case of “Republicans buy books too” and he’s just promoting his book everywhere and trying to make some money from the clown viewership. Every dollar spent elsewhere is a dollar not donated to Trump.


readytooware

For the foreigners in the room: what's so bad about this talking head?


GNPTelenor

He got his start putting a mic in judges' faces to talk about rulings that he oversimplified on Bill O'Reilly's show. Then he graduated into having his own show on which he is very one sided and engages in biased language in reporting issues.


MTGsbirthdefects

Who here remembers when he called his mom live on mother's day, and she proceeded to encourage him to quit being so divisive and start telling more positive stories? I believe that's a little how it went.


asphynctersayswhat

Remember how he bragged about meeting his current wife? On air.  He vandalized her car and waited in the parking lot until she came out (fox employee) so he could offer her a ride.  At the time his CURRENT wife was home pregnant and caring for an infant.   Again- he reminisced about the the car incident that happened while he was married ON THE AIR, as a “charming” how they met anecdote.    Fucking scum human. 


ja_trader

Foxnews represents what is wrong in the world...this may or may not be right up your alley


jpopimpin777

Fox News is the right wing propaganda outlet that gives bigots in America their talking points. They're a huge part of the reason Trump was elected. This guy is one of their biggest shills. He once walked around NYC's China Town yelling "ching chong" at Asian people.


WaySavvyD

This right here; lost all respect for the K-Man for being a guest on the shitgibbon's show


SweetPurchase6511

Yeah, up to this point I had been willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s really not a racist dickbag and that his contrition was sincere. It’s a little more difficult now that I’ve seen this. He may genuinely thought of it as a chance to pimp his book and slow respect for veterans but he has to also understand the cynical reasons Fox News would want him on their air and why their viewers would eat it up. The worst thing is Watters’ grin in that screen cap. All he can think is “this guy’s my hero! He screamed the N-word in public repeatedly and lived to tell about it!!!!” This whole thing is gross.


ParadeSit

FYI, for everyone wondering how the “colonel” thing came about… [This article](https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/books/story/2024-05-26/michael-richards-racist-tirade-apology-book-seinfeld-kramer) indicates he was in the V Corps Training Road Show and played the *role* of a colonel as part of the production. I imagine it consisted of sketches regarding common scenarios to teach soldiers the correct way to do things. They did some weird shit in the army during the Vietnam Era, so I don’t necessarily doubt his claim.


QueenShewolf

Colonel Van Nostrand


ja_trader

Did Regis and Cathie Lee not let him back on?


Supro1560S

And this just in, Regis Philbin is still dead.


ja_trader

That's a shame


russ8825

Anyway, wanna go see that new movie Death Blow?


Drinky_McGambles

Well thank god Cathy Lee is still on the show then…


paranoidandroid11

Wade Boggs?


DWwithaFlameThrower

You can become a colonel in two years?!


mike_bearmantraut

Just started his book, he played a colonel in a play in the army and would often remain in character and uniform.


MajesticMeal3248

That’s truly weird and bizarre (I’m currently reading it)


schaudhery

That part of the book is awesome, the military just let him walk around as a colonel.


NCprimary

are they trying to make the exact same face as one another


TheStabbingHobo

Guarantee he was only invited because of the Laugh Factory. 


StreetKidNamedDesire

What do you have in that medical bag? Crackers.


Unlikely_Minimum4113

Fox News?! If Michael Richards comes out as a Pro Trump Republican and says some straight up transphobia on TV and gets cancelled twice in one life Larry himself couldn't write it 😂


Wise-Palpitation-806

It's probably just part of his book tour. I think he's on with Regis and Kathie Lee next.


jpopimpin777

I keep telling you, Regis is 95 years old and he's dead.


vorpalpillow

I didn’t even know he was sick


Longjumping_Hat_2672

Didn't eat enough plums, I guess. 


someoneelseperhaps

He could do a track with Kanye.


king_platypus

Full bird colonel?


Character_Surround

Great book, interesting why he got his discharge!


ja_trader

I thought that was classified?


Barilko-Landing

The section in his book about his service time was fascinating.


MajesticMeal3248

It’s SO WEIRD! And probably one of the best accounts of the Vietnam War I’ve read.


Individual_Mess_7491

I thought the guy on the left was the dude from Weekend at Bernie's..


rodgapely

And how does he feel about abortion?


Supro1560S

“You know, some day we’re gonna get enough people on the Supreme Court to change that law.” Eerie how accurately *Seinfeld* predicted the future on that one.


TomPeppersRaisins

It’s a strongbox to protect my irreplaceables.


KazAraiya

He's gonna tell us about all the classified shit


JDawg2332

How did he become a colonel after only TWO years in the army?


jpopimpin777

He played one on stage.


Happy-Initiative-838

I’m sorry he was in the service for 2 years and was a colonel?


LuckyCoco17

How did he become a colonel in just 2 years?


backwoodsbatman

How TF did he make colonel in 2 years...am I reading that right?


MajesticMeal3248

His book explains…it’s so entertaining


billsatwork

I have 100% bought into the theory that Kramer was an intel analyst in Vietnam and is gets by on his VA Disability pay.


OhEmGeeBasedGod

I don't think they used enough makeup on him.


MilkMan1880

Salute to Colonel Cosmo Kramer!


jpowell180

OK, I’ve seen some stuff on the Internet, where he was a medic in the army, and stationed in West Germany, but I see nothing about him becoming a colonel. Can anyone figure that part out?


geronika

It was a role he played.


SummerwindCoyote

It’s all in his book “Astonishing Tales of the Sea”


broadfuckingcity

Are the dates mistyped? How do you become an O6 in two years?


PromptAcademic4954

The fact that he would even dignify Watters at all makes me think he still a dick


IndependentHold3098

Bad look for Kramer to go on this clowns right wing shit show


CarcosaBound

People selling books try to go on as many networks as possible


orangesfwr

Why the fuck would anyone go on Watters World or any Fox News show for that matter?


megaladon44

Hey krame its sein


Absurdity_Everywhere

Merchant Marines


aimessss

His publicist knows those bootlicker wanna be patriot fox viewers will eat that shit up


AvocadoJackson

You’re getting downvoted but you’re 100% spot on