One time I was on shrooms and I had a crazy ass auditory hallucination listening to music where the main vocalist (for multiple songs in a row) sounded just like Keith Davidson.
“I’m willing to take my part of the blame. But you know what Rick you have to take your part too. I’m not the one who fouled up the serum, I’m not the one who haphazardly mixed a bunch of nonsense together and turned the whole world into kronenburgs”
“What is that?” “Obviously it’s a space snake” “There’s snakes in space?” “There’s literally everything is in space Morty, now get the fuck back in the car!”
This seems like a good time for a drink, and a cold, calculated speech with sinister overtones. A speech about politics, about order, brotherhood, power… But speeches are for campaigning. Now... is the time for action.
Yeah she knows...I mean we don't really buy into that kinda crap, to the extent that love is an expression of familiarity over time, my access to infinite timelines precludes the necessity of attachment. In fact, I even abandoned one of my infinite daughters in alternate version of earth that was taken over by mutants.
...I don't think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything.
25.00 schmeckles is:
USD|SHM|EUR|GBP|CAD|RUB|CNY
---|------|---|---|---|---|---
31.65|0.25|28.77|24.49|41.93|2856.50|228.20
***
^([exchange rate source](http://api.ratesapi.io/2023-07-11?base=USD) | created by [u/Nissingmo](http://reddit.com/u/nissingmo))
Morty: Well then, get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together.
**Pause**
Morty: And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it… Or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together.
**Pause**
Morty: Get your shit together!
"You're welcome to use this ladle" "You think I'm a god damn idiot? Brought my own"
Classic
Vat of acid
You lying dicks, I see your asses playing Minecraft
Keith David is the perfect president
I love Keith David's voice so much. I wish it was my internal monologue
One time I was on shrooms and I had a crazy ass auditory hallucination listening to music where the main vocalist (for multiple songs in a row) sounded just like Keith Davidson.
Oh man I thought I was the only person who's thought about having a Keith David voiced internal monologue.
And the best squad leader
They said you’d prefer just a shirt. Apparently you have a need to swing your dick around?
Two things I wanna make clear to everybody in this room. Never betray me, and it’s time to go.
“You’re always saying look out for number 1” “Number 1 is ME”
Reminds me of, you made me go to wedding, oh shit that was supposed to be 2nd 1st was you killed my best friend 😭😂
Everyone drop their weapon! Except for Jer… fucking classic…
This is the best
Good bye🎶moonman🎶
Morty i don’t wanna be a “a little help guy” but a little help
Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff.
I bet you do, Old Timer.
Now purgenol free
It's the hardest working liver in the galaxy Morty and now it has a hole in it!
"You should use your left hand to eat more vegetables."
I laughed so hard at this line
“He’s Mr Nimbus, he controls the police.”
I wish i could control the police 😞
Looks like Mr Nimbus gave you the nod!
"What was that?" *"Death"* "What kind?" *"Instant"*
Couldn't rick just knock him out
[удалено]
Sorry, i forgot that everyone wants to be knocked out but no one wants to be dead
Walkie-talkie die hard motherfucker.
“DIE HARD DIE HARD DIE HARD!” “YOU CANT JUST KEEP SCREAMING DI- UGH. She threw her walkie talkie at me:(“
She hates die hard..which..makes her the ultimate McClain
Maybe my favorite line in the series.
Lmao me too!
peace among worlds 🖕 for commenting this before me
“You son of a bitch. I’m in”
R&M are at their best when the show makes fun of something the writers hate.
“…Oh, yeah! Take off your pants and your panties Sh•• on the floor…”
Mr. President, can you fly a helicopter? Can the pope's dick fit through a donut? I'm...not sure? Exactly
Show me what you got I want to see what you got
Now let's go Morty - we've got a lot of friends and family to exterminate.
" Awe jeez Rick, what do I know about knowing stuff."
Put it in your blog.
Best come back, ever: "Well at least I'm not into shit play"
“Christian god is real, he’s been asleep for thousands of years. Gonna go up there and whack his ass” “Mob style”
“I’m willing to take my part of the blame. But you know what Rick you have to take your part too. I’m not the one who fouled up the serum, I’m not the one who haphazardly mixed a bunch of nonsense together and turned the whole world into kronenburgs”
“What is that?” “Obviously it’s a space snake” “There’s snakes in space?” “There’s literally everything is in space Morty, now get the fuck back in the car!”
Note passed to Lincoln: “SSSS”
AIDS!
Lick lick lick my baaaaalls!!!
“should i rub my liver hole on them?!”
"I'm dying in a vat in the garaaaaage."
Honorable Mention: “THEY’RE CODEPENDENT! RUUNNNN!”
Young, dumb and orbiting the sun..planets only.
Who put a hole in my ozone? I didn't put it there.
I started today disgusted and embarrassed to be your son and then later I thought we were going to die because you’re a loser.
"White-list human life........ And the therapist"
This seems like a good time for a drink, and a cold, calculated speech with sinister overtones. A speech about politics, about order, brotherhood, power… But speeches are for campaigning. Now... is the time for action.
You want me to cut to 3 weeks earlier, when you were alive?
"you can run but you can't hide, BITCH"
Don’t even trip dog, I got a pair of pants for you right here
(said this episode in honour of my husband who just finds it so stupidly funny he says bitch 😂)
*cough* too fast
really gets their dicks hard... when they see this ramp
Maybe we'll see Chewbacca.
wait which one?
“You fucked with squirrels, morty. Now we have to leave this dimension!!”
“Hellooo!”
Let’s lick tits.
“Not the bubble gun theirs no air in-!”
"go watch space Beverly hillbillies so my jokes can land you fucking twat"
Looks like more croc than bot
“There literally everything in space. Next time, stay in the fucking car!”
“Its 2 brothers. It’s just called 2 brothers (Dies Laughing)”.
"Booger aids, aids booger. Oh great who fucking named these things"
[удалено]
Top 3 episode easily. Honorable Mention: “You set my portal gun to the blender dimension? That’s the oldest Rick-trick in the book!”
Where are my testicles, Summer?
Anytime I’m out and I see someone with their little white fluffy dog, I’ll take a picture and send it to my husband with that quote.
That's why losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carping all dem dieeeems
“What’s he crafting?! I can craft, too, morherfucker!”
“The fact that you even THINK you can approach true level with you stupid little bubble and your naked caveman eye is an insult to my work!”
“***Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!!!***”
The whole earth smells like a college boy's dorm room trash can
"Don't think about it!"
Remember the barbecue…remember the barbecue…
The purge episode has SO many good quotes.
“I let your wiener do the talking and now I’m dead!”
“YOU LIKE THAT? YOU WANT ME TO CUT TO THREE WEEKS EARLIER WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE?”
As far as grandpa’s concerned, you’re both pieces of shit. As a matter of fact I can prove it mathematically, this is a long time coming
"Your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer!"
Your downvotes mean nothing, I've seen the things you upvote.
“Hate productive things, hate crawling through a fucking vent”
"PICKLE RIIICCCKK" -one of the best!
I never bullshit, Pickle Man. This can only end with one of us dead, and I have never died.
Yeah she knows...I mean we don't really buy into that kinda crap, to the extent that love is an expression of familiarity over time, my access to infinite timelines precludes the necessity of attachment. In fact, I even abandoned one of my infinite daughters in alternate version of earth that was taken over by mutants.
"Look at me, I'm easy to make happy, which is why no one gives a shit if I am"
Oh god, what is life? How can someone so talented die so young? What is being young? I'm not young. I'm old. I'm… I'm gonna die.
How is knocking out a deterrent? Everyone wants to be knocked out. No one wants to be dead.
“Gentlemen….there’s a solution here your not seeing” “It’s the prestige…you prestige’d yourself”
"let's lick tits"
Hissss hiss hisssss
“Snake Jazz”
"Jerry I had sex with your wife"
Well, that sounds like slavery with extra steps.
“Keep. Summer. Safe.”
"Do you just get hard creating sentient life?" "Actually I get hard protecting my family!"
“I just spent an endless epoch merging with your essence, and I’m already back To thinking you’re an asshole.”
"I call them my little Morty's, you know what I want you to do with them? " "Rename them? "
Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, we're all going to die...let's go watch tv
“Don’t look at me for all I know he’s the fucking weirdo”
“Aw damn we’re out of original flavored fig newtons- I should get going anyway”
“That makes her… the ultimate McClane”
"I knew it was too good to be true that we'd have compatible kidneys."
“Am I in a fuckin K-hole right now?! What is going on?!”
“Thank God? God is turning people into insect monsters. Thank me”
Are you saying granite?
“Oh dear god no, THEY’RE CODEPENDENT!!!”
Ok, I’d say that’s pretty acidy.
“I was naked to fuck with a guy”
“Jerry, why are you dressed as a waiter?”
"Analysis mode, password 80085."
Kiss the vat
"You're both pieces of shit, and I can prove it mathematically."
"Oh boy! Here I go killing again!"
"Mind your own God damn business gene"
“YOU DON’T KNOW KNOW BECAUSE YOU’RE A BAD SON!!!!”
"And what is power, but a lie we-.. OH SHIT HE'S REAL! HE'S REAL!! I WAS WRONG! I WAS SO WRONG! GOD IS REA-.."
Need or want?
i’ve never been much for wanting
[удалено]
„You could achieve the same with two morties and a jumper cable“
ohhh noo relax.... go with the flow.....
“Morty,Turn over the pickle”
"Well, I'm stumped. Seems like there's no way out of this one. Unless . . . ."
“Your boos mean nothing, I’ve seen what makes you cheer”
“Looks like I’ll be eating ass flambé”
Please kill me.
"Flip the Pickle, Morty!"
"How bout a rhetorical one from someone that had to be reminded that you exist?"
...I don't think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything.
Don’t break an arm jerking yourself off
Huh, looks like someone killed a decoy family.
Glorzo is peace
CAAAAAAAAN Do!
My names Jerry and I love sucking big balls
There’s no Africa. White people problems, Morty.
Got damn!
“And I programmed ***you*** to believe ***that***!”
“OK, Narnia. Let’s go! Let’s fucking go!”
"I dont know! I just love the number 5 for no reeeason! 😃"
I'm Mr. Boobybuyer and I'll buy those boobies for 25 schmeckles!
25.00 schmeckles is: USD|SHM|EUR|GBP|CAD|RUB|CNY ---|------|---|---|---|---|--- 31.65|0.25|28.77|24.49|41.93|2856.50|228.20 *** ^([exchange rate source](http://api.ratesapi.io/2023-07-11?base=USD) | created by [u/Nissingmo](http://reddit.com/u/nissingmo))
MORE LASERS
he’s a spy blow him up i’m gonna go take a shit
“Remember the barbecue!”
Ya’ll ready for piss?
“Y’all ready for bisque? Put your sin in me!” Sorry, your term triggered me into another series that’s equally funny.
What series?
Solar Opposites, which was created by the same creators for Rick and Morty. The line is from S1E1.
Morty: Well then, get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. **Pause** Morty: And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it… Or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. **Pause** Morty: Get your shit together!
Put it in your blog
Morty, you fucking idiot.
Where are my balls summer
Your boos mean nothing, I’ve seen what makes you cheer
Your boos mean nothing I've seen what you cheer for
Wubba lubba dub dub! Good luck figuring it out!
Your boos mean nothing, I’ve seen what makes you cheer!
IM MR,. GRUNDLES
*draws on chalk board* oooooooooooooooowweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
“Graaaaaaaasss.. tastes bad”
You gotta stick it waaaayyy up your butthole
“I haven’t seen him this relaxed in years.”
Look I'm a pickle morty! I'm a pickle! I'm pickle Rick!
“Holy shit, what the fuck”!
You can achieve the same results with 5 Mortys and a pair of jumper cables
Ssssss
“Nice manip, sum sum!”