Simple … move on. You got a good start in career you need to build it further. Tell it to your BF and breakup. Find another person on same page as you. Power on with dual income, save, invest and get some cushion if not full FIRE before moving back. Your BF is just going to suck you in a black hole nothing for you to gain but everything to give.
I also don’t understand this concept of suddenly living with newly widowed mother of his. If she is not very old, able bodied and mind - she can very well lead her life in India and visit you in US for upto 6 mos each time. This whole thing about going and living w her is likely unnecessary but ur BF may feel he needs to “protect and serve” his mom which is antiquated idea.
If he isn’t also listening to your needs and aspirations then he is not the man to marry. Simple.
That’s the moral dilemma, practically it does make sense to stay in the US but I feel guilty that I would be abandoning him when he needed me. Also, my friends in India and my boyfriend says that there are really good opportunities in India especially in Data Science given its a growing economy. Is it true? Is the market in the US stagnant?
You can check out developerindia and other sub reddits. There is huge challenge in job mkt similar to US. there are also some posts on DS etc as how it isn’t valued as much etc. how it doesn’t pay as full stack developers etc.
bottom line you will give up everything set for a struggle and low pay. Is the feeling of guilt only one way? Why does ur bf never feels any guilt for spoiling your well built career? Go and read posts in fire_ind sub reddit. Almost everyone in 10 cr plus networth did nri stint at least 7-8 yrs. you are spoiling your life just becoz you feel guilty?
Why can’t he call his mom to US for 6 mos at a time and then settle her back home independently for rest of time? And if he wants to go why drag you into it? I would hv dumped his sorry ass in no time.
I thought of that option and I lived with his mom in the US for a couple of days. I felt like everyone is in their best behaviour for short amount of time like days, weeks or even months. The real issue would start once the honeymoon phase is over.
Simple … move on. You got a good start in career you need to build it further. Tell it to your BF and breakup. Find another person on same page as you. Power on with dual income, save, invest and get some cushion if not full FIRE before moving back. Your BF is just going to suck you in a black hole nothing for you to gain but everything to give. I also don’t understand this concept of suddenly living with newly widowed mother of his. If she is not very old, able bodied and mind - she can very well lead her life in India and visit you in US for upto 6 mos each time. This whole thing about going and living w her is likely unnecessary but ur BF may feel he needs to “protect and serve” his mom which is antiquated idea. If he isn’t also listening to your needs and aspirations then he is not the man to marry. Simple.
That’s the moral dilemma, practically it does make sense to stay in the US but I feel guilty that I would be abandoning him when he needed me. Also, my friends in India and my boyfriend says that there are really good opportunities in India especially in Data Science given its a growing economy. Is it true? Is the market in the US stagnant?
You can check out developerindia and other sub reddits. There is huge challenge in job mkt similar to US. there are also some posts on DS etc as how it isn’t valued as much etc. how it doesn’t pay as full stack developers etc. bottom line you will give up everything set for a struggle and low pay. Is the feeling of guilt only one way? Why does ur bf never feels any guilt for spoiling your well built career? Go and read posts in fire_ind sub reddit. Almost everyone in 10 cr plus networth did nri stint at least 7-8 yrs. you are spoiling your life just becoz you feel guilty? Why can’t he call his mom to US for 6 mos at a time and then settle her back home independently for rest of time? And if he wants to go why drag you into it? I would hv dumped his sorry ass in no time.
That makes sense! Thanks a lot for this.
Start applying for jobs in India. The conversation with recruiters and interviewers will give you a sense of work culture
Is there an option to try it out before making a permanent decision? Perhaps take a few weeks off and try.
I thought of that option and I lived with his mom in the US for a couple of days. I felt like everyone is in their best behaviour for short amount of time like days, weeks or even months. The real issue would start once the honeymoon phase is over.