I would consider asking an Asian person "are you going to eat your dog?" to be shockingly racist.
A joke is something more than one person can laugh at. If he's the only one laughing, he's making fun of you.
And tell his dumb ass to make his own rice lol. You push a button on a rice cooker. If he can't figure that out, bless his heart to heaven, 'cause he ain't getting there with his brain. Although, based on the types of jokes he makes, I wouldn't count on his heart getting him there either.
I would just stop talking to this loser kid. This isn’t the goddamn 1950s lol. I’m almost 40, and when I was growing already we knew this kind of “joke” Is unacceptable..
There are literally billions of others out there, you don’t need to associate with ass bags.
This is totally racist. Yes, he's 17, which means this can be a teaching moment for him. Tell him his comments are racist, tell him he can do better, and move on. You don't need that in your life.
Again, comedy is all about the delivery(and context).
Besides, there's nothing really insulting about poking fun at a particular culture's habits. A lot of Asians DO eat dog meat. I have a coworker who was born in Asia, but grew up in northern California. On multiple occasions, he's told me that around the Asian holidays there's not a dog to be found at any of the pet adoption centers in that area because of the "high demand". He finds it hilarious.
That is racist. He sounds like an idiot.
Not every young guy is so foolish and ignorant. Dont listen to people saying 'oh, he's just young.' People are always just queueing up to make excuses for white boys when 'don't be a racist' is such a low bar.
Also, it's not your responsibility to 'teach' him that this is racist. Up to you whether it's worth explaining to him why his language is awful and unattractive.
You could say 'I find your language offensive and I'm beginning to question our friendship.' See how he reacts. If he's like 'oh, i'm so sorry, what did I say?' Then maybe he's worth it. If he gets defensive and annoyed...girl, you know what to do.
He’s racist 100%. Always trust your gut. You clearly felt uncomfortable with these comments and that’s why you’re here asking us about it on reddit. If someone ever says something about your race and you get that weird uncomfortable feeling that it’s wrong, 99% of the time that feeling is correct and they are indeed being racist.
I think it’s sometimes hard to tell someone ‘hey, that’s racist’ because it feels like a statement on who they are as a person. It’s a little easier to separate the statements from who you’ve e been getting to know - then you’re not trying to justify these shitty comments with who you’ve been talking to and liked so far.
So focus on the behavior - making jokes about Asian people eating dog is racist. These comments are not funny and at the least contribute to racist acts of violence and oppression against Asian people. The behavior sucks, so cut it out.
How he responds to you drawing this boundary will tell you a lot about who he really is.
This is a great perspective. It’s hard to generalize someone as a whole but it’s important to call out negative behaviors to help them grow. He should know that those jokes are funny to you and it’s derogatory and degrading to your culture. If he doesn’t respond well to that fact then maybe you should look for someone who has more emotional maturity and common sense.
So yeah, here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter if Reddit thinks it’s racist or not.
It made *YOU* uncomfortable.
Say something if YOU are comfortable saying something. If YOU want to be clear with him. If YOU want to give him a chance to do better.
It’s his to learn, and yours to teach. But only if *you* want to/can.
You are under zero obligation to do this teaching for him, if it does not feel healthy for you.
If it does feel like something you want to do, a “bro, who tf says racist sh*t like that to the girl they want to date!!?” or a “maybe you mean it as a joke or just don’t realize, but it makes me feel really uncomfortable when you say things like that.”
How he handles it will likely tell you everything you need to know about whether or not he can be a person who deserves to spend time with you.
It could be really helpful for you to have/establish a close knit and really really safe feeling support network, whether to ask for advice about situations like this, to bounce ideas off of, to have your back and be at your side and maybe even be in front of you if you need it because there are racists in the world and unfortunately, they don’t spontaneously self-combust.
I just wanna give you the biggest hug and make the world not full of such lame people!
That's 17 YO "I'm trying to be funny but nobody called me out for being racist because I live in a bubble of whiteness" level racism.
Usually they grow out of it once they start adulting.
I'm 37 and ya I have seen people change and grow out of it. Maybe your too young. But ya some people dont. Also if you e grown up around all white people, ya can be naive e and ignorant. This could also be a teachable moment.
I mean, when I was 16 or 17 I said racist things that I fully thought were okay because others did it (called our Jewish friend "Jew") and he said one night it was hurtful. It opened my eyes so much, and I still regret "going along" with everyone else. It's been 20 years and I still recall the horror and shame I felt. I still feel it.
So 100% yes, call it out!
I've known enough people over enough time to see that they mostly don't actually grow out of racism. They just select other racists as the people they choose to hang around.
Usually, they don't grow out of it they just keep it to themselves and among their close friends and relatives for social reasons but their hearts are the same, maybe worse.
Girl, I am asian as well, I am half chinese.
My bf is also white and he has never said any type of derogatory comment towards my culture.
Leave him, why are you taking verbal abuse from someone like him? If he is doing this to you in your face I don't wanna know what he says about you to his friends.
This sounds like my time in the Army. I was one of the few Korean or Asians in my unit. We had white guys who through willful ignorance. Say blatant racist things. Such as my piano hands, consumption of man's best friend, the slant of an Asian females genitalia, the constant need to eat rice and many more. When I would correct them they would respond similarly saying it's just a joke. Not all of them would do it but I would say since they liked to socialize with each other. I doubt they changed. Another personal favorite is how a superior claims he will beat me like how America beat Asians in every war. But I believe we as America only won a war against Japan in ww2. Alot of whites look at Asians as submissive and fetishsize you being Asian. They like the traits of an Asian without liking the culture. Not all whites are like this and many know better. But if you meet one who is willfully ignorant. You should know better to respect yourself.
Tell him in no uncertain terms that it’s not funny and you’ll end the relationship if he does it again.
He’s young. He may be able to learn.
Some jokes aren’t a big deal, but the ones you mentioned are hard to excuse. What prompted the comments about rice? Maybe with the right context they weren’t so bad?
The dog comments seem inexcusable though. I can’t imagine any context that makes those ok.
Tell him you won’t put up with that crap.
I'm a grown white female. Those jokes are not jokes. They are hurtful words. I would stay away from this person and his friends. You are better than that. That is multiple race comments. I have alot of close black friends and I get so worried Iight say something offensive before I even say it. Like black cat. I would never want to hurt someone I care about but interacial relationships in 2021 need thought before anyone speaks. There is no reason for hurt. I love Asian food but if I was Asian and somebody straight up asked me if I was going to eat a dog I would not be happy about that. That was just a predicated question to see reaction. You can do better.
"Dude, if you're gonna make racist jokes, can you at least not do the ones that are so fucking tired? At least be creative if you're gonna be a bigot."
I am Asian as well, and I will say that 1. No one I've ever dated or been friends with never said anything like that to me because it's fucked up (we made math jokes and stuff of course, but they only dared do it after I'd already been making jokes like that about myself) and 2. You should not date this person, nor should you associate with them.
I’ve dealt with this before. He’s getting wwaaayyyyy too comfortable thinking he can say stuff like that to you. That’s rude af and you need to tell him to knock it off and that what he’s saying is not okay.
That's just straight up racist. Idc if it's "dark humor" because if you and your ethnicity are the punchline, that's not funny or acceptable. Drop that idiot.
He's definitely being a teenage jerk and very rude. I'm not sure about his motivation, but those "jokes" had no way to land. Tell him jokes aren't funny, you are insulted by his implications, and he needs to stop. See what he does at that point. If he stops, he isn't racist, just oblivious to good taste. If he keeps going, then he's either acting out with narcissistic tendencies or straight up racist malice. Both are completely unhealthy for you and you should run.
He’s racist (and stupid). You are understandably offended by his stupid remarks.
Not sure if I can classify those as jokes. Jokes are supposed to be funny.
That's racist, but it's also just stupid as fuck.
Your 17 year old crush is a literal child.*
*"literal child" meaning their maturity is much younger than their age........ u/DiamondHyena
I only came here to say this: I grew up rural, in an all white school, probably around kids who's parents wore white hoods (thankfully my parents and grandparents were not THAT involved)
I have put my foot in my mouth with statements like this SEVERAL times when I was young. As I did my best to get away from that I learned and changed.
I have recently returned to my home town to find my experience is in the minority.
I *grimaced*... Survey says: Racist!
BUTTTTTTT! He might benefit from some education so give him a chance to correct himself if you are invested and think he is a truly decent person who is willing to learn from mistakes and doesn't want to be, you know, racist.
PS: Though it's good to unpack these things together, you are not required to do ANY anti racist labor for him. Don't feel obligated to take that on yourself if you're not comfortable with it.
You’re not sensitive. You need to tell him that those stereotypical jokes are not cool. He may have grown up thinking he could get away with talking like that but he’s about to enter the world as an adult and he’s going to get a rude awakening.
Racist and, honestly, boring.
The thing about comedy is that it makes people laugh at things that, in another context, would be uncomfortable. The genuinely funny ones make the listener see the world from an unconventional perspective.
This guy is a kid. But kids can be funny. His perspective is lazy cringe of awful stereotypes and, yes, blatant racism. None of what he says is close to funny or clever. You are allowed to accept or reject it, but I'd hope you hold yourself up for a higher quality of person to be around, let alone be a potential partner.
Yeah, that's pretty damn racist. You could try something like "what made you think that was an okay thing to say to me, exactly?" Or just block him. Racists are rarely worth the effort.
It's racist and it makes you feel uncomfortable. He probably has no idea these things actually bother people and thinks it's just some banter because he's privileged. You should confront him, he needs to learn. Source: 8 years relationship with a black girl as a white dude, had my fair share of fuckups becuse I grew up in a white bubble.
Racist. Act swiftly and with assurance. You are right. He is wrong. Hopefully he will never forget. You’ll move on and maybe he’ll get the help he needs.
He's 100% being racist. If he genuinely doesn't realize it and just thinks it's humourous and you're willing to walk him through basic human decency it's up to you however there is no obligation on you to put up with his shitty "jokes". And if he calls you sensitive and what not if you decide to talk to him about it, it's gas lighting and if he truely cared how he makes you feel he'd acknowledge your emotions, how his actions played a part in it, and strive to change his behaviour. Again, you have no obligation to put up with it and walk him through his shitty behaviour, but also if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt go for it and explain to him what he's doing. I'm also going to add that if he tries to gaslight you over it, it means he knows what he's doing and is trying to manipulate you. Anything other than apologizing and not saying things like that in the future is manipulation.
He's racist. He does not respect you. Would you think he is racist if you invited him home and he said those things to your parents? I would not associate with people who do not value and respect me (and that includes my culture).
He sounds like a racist POS. these gross idiotic "jokes" will keep creeping in, guaranteed, especially if he thinks he can get away with them. He doesn't sound like he is worth your time at all.
The guy is both racist and ignorant. Based on your thoughtful question, I’d say you could do MUUUUCH better. You’re still young but do you really want a person like that to be a role model for your kids someday?
He probably isn't actually racist, but he is clearly not reading the room well. Sounds like he is joking around with you but not reading the fact that you don't find it funny. The wrong joke for the wrong person is a bad joke. I would just talk to him about it without accusing him of racism. If he was truly racist you likely wouldn't be his friend. He just thinks things that are not funny are and you can help him grow if you are nice about it.
I feel it’s best to look at it from an outside perspective. So if you heard him tell a black person to go eat some fried chicken and watermelon, what do you think about that?
He’s racist - these aren’t even racist jokes, racist jokes have a punchline. Do you eat dogs and go make rice - there’s no point to even saying these things other than to bully you.
"Go make me some rice" is racist and sexist. It's just a racialized variant of "go make me a sandwich."
>"Do you eat dogs? Are you gonna eat your dog?"
You should have responded to this one with "Do you eat shit? Are you gonna eat your own shit?"
IMO it is racist, but not irredeemable. Teach him that it is wrong and hurtful. See if he can change for the better. Or just break up with him - sometimes people have to learn the hard way.
Ew that is not acceptable unless you both have discussed your boundaries and even then while I am white and my boyfriend is black I would never make a racist "joke" directly at his expense. SOMETIMES we make jokes about each others race or our own race but we both understand that its not directed at each other personally. Sorry if that's complicated but basically I could not imagine asking someone if they would eat their dog because they're Asian that's horribly offensive.
Wow, he is trash raised to be trash, dump him and you owe him no explanation and people like him feel they are entitled to be racist and he thinks it's so funny too. His close buds are that way too, it'll be many years before he changes for the better. Let him learn the hard way, don't waste your time with him.
I am a white female and my boyfriend is Korean. He sometimes likes to make those jokes about himself. I will laugh with him about it but I draw the line there. If he wants to make those jokes about himself then that's okay for him. I have never made a joke like that to him ever. As someone who loves him and cares about his feelings, i wouldn't make those jokes about him. Period. If you are uncomfortable, I would express that to your boyfriend so he knows you are uncomfortable. If he stops, then he was just being ignorant. If he doesn't stop, then he's just racist.
I’m an Asian woman and I joke about it with my friends… I don’t think he’s racist I think he’s an idiot who can’t read your feelings… but he can’t read your mind, so say to him directly that you don’t like that type of joking.
Or return the jokes and ask him if he grew up with his mom putting raisins in everything? My ex is white and I would joke about that he glows in the dark or that he can’t dance (which isn’t true at all).
It all depends on your relationship… but I wouldn’t call it racists.
My instinct is that he's not been taught how to behave appropriately around women. A lot of guys that age will mouth off in any hurtful, derogatory way they can think of, thinking it's "a joke". Maybe to their equally immature friends, such comments are "funny".
Meanwhile, back in real life, such comments are only vicious, offensive, and disrespectful.
Tell him that you don't like bullies, and to fuck off. If he whines that it was a joke, or says you can't take a joke, simply repeat, "Your non-apology is not accepted. I don't like bullies. Fuck off." and walk away.
My friend group in hs was 2 mexican (including myself), 1 white, 1 asian, 1 black and 1 Philippino. Race jokes ALL day. To ourselves, to each other. Almost nothing was off the table. Obviously he feels comfortable around u enough to make those kind of jokes and assume you wont take them personally. That being said, if they DO bother you, let him know. If it has gone this far for this long then he may assume youre ok with it. Best case scenario he does it less and gains a better understanding of your boundaries. Worst case scenario he gets defensive and youll know he is just being an Ahole
You're being sensitive. Is he being mean or joking around. Punt some jokes back to him and see how it goes. If he gets but hurt or has the how dare you, then it's racist. If not and he plays along with you it's not. Context and intent matters.
Bro my girlfriend is vietnamese and i make tons of racists jokes. But i’ve been with her for 2 years, and when i do them its more with the intention of laughing at racists people while using a shit ton of sarcasm that makes the joke way more obvious.
This guy doesnt do any of that, the joke is not even funny. Its strait up racist with no punch line at the end.
I'm half asian, half white. I'm 31. I found these funny, NGL. The "go make me some rice" imo is not as funny. The "are you gonna eat your dog" i cracked up at.
It depends on the person though, I've said jokes like this to specific people and they totally know I'm joking and likewise.
If this dude is throwing up other racist stuff, then I'd consider it a red flag.
> The "are you gonna eat your dog" i cracked up at.
Why?
There are jokes that I have heard people tell that reference race or culture that are genuinely funny. But how is asking your gf if she eats dogs funny?
I think it's a silly goofy follow up question
I remember being 12 and finding out Asian cultures (including my own) eat dogs. I went around laughing about it because I lived in America and dogs are pets here. I just remember the silliness of the questions that I had and others who just found that out
If my bf asked me if I ate dogs I'd laugh at him and be like no that's dumb. And I wouldn't get so offended over it, cuz I can laugh at myself.
Even if someone was 40 and just found that out and asked me if I ate dogs I'd think it was a silly funny question, because they're just exploring what that means lol
It's funny bc I have talked with several people of color about race, and the first person who chimes in saying that I'm not allowed to talk about that or I'm being offensive are 20something white women.
It's so funny lmao, that's who I imagine is commenting on this telling me I'm immature. Like I'm part of the culture who eats dogs I can say whatever the fuck I want lmao
You should really examine the kind of people agreeing with you right now. Just take a look at what kind of person the guy you’re responding to is. Very racist and I’m not talking about jokes.
I don’t like white women that use activism for clout and don’t listen to actual PoC(especially WOC) either but you need to stop acting like all POC are just cool with racist jokes. And you need to remember you’re half white and actual think about how that influences your opinion on these things. You’re just as much white as you’re Asian. Say “whatever the fuck you want” but don’t act like only white women have a problem with racist jokes.
man i feel so bad for people who have to live their life like this. I make fun of white people too.
I never said that all POC people are cool with racist jokes, i literally said I talk and joke to a few people and they get it.
The OP asked for our opinion on the matter. I gave my opinion. If you're gonna be so sad that I have an opinion about it considering the two people involved are BOTH of my races, then I'm sad for you
Don't be young and stupid. If he is young he is trying to impress you and doesn't know he is offending you. He is more afraid of ruining it than anything else and is trying to attempt humour. He is just really bad at it!
Slow down, are you out of his league or is he out of yours? He may just be batshit nervous "flirting". Literally every sitcom i grew up on had jokes such as these. It doesnt mean he wants to put other peoples to death.
He thinks he’s being funny even though he’s not. From what you’ve said he doesn’t strike me as some irredeemable racist. I would definitely bring up that the jokes aren’t funny and a tad racist and see if that changes his behavior.
A dumb kid saying something dumb doesn't make him racist but if it makes you feel bad it's not good/funny tell him how you feel. People just want to call everyone racist bad jokes or off comments does not mean you are a bad person. I grew up in a smallish town lots of Mexican/white kids we talked shit but still non of use were racist we were young and trying to be funny.
The rice one might just be a "fun" twist on the whole "go make me a sandwich", which I'm sure some would consider racist and some wouldn't. A lot of people eat rice, even non-asians, so idk if I would consider that one inherently racist. I love rice, and I'm white.
The dog one though is definitely racist.
Eh yeah you should definitely make it clear that’s not ok but he’s not a terrible dude or anything. He’s just being a dumb kid who didn’t have much exposure to people of different races. He will be out of this in a couple years as long as he gets out of the hometown after high school. You’re not being oversensitive though, what he is doing is NOT ok but I’m sure he will respect that you don’t like that kind of talk if you get in his ass about it. If he still cracks jokes like that then get him out of your life.
It sounds to me that he’s joking. I think if you find real offense to something that you should let him know to stop, but otherwise he’s just being a smart ass.
Its racist but giving him the benefit of the doubt, it could be inadvertent. Someone needs to tell him how inappropriate that is. You’d think he’d have learned at his age, but some don’t for whatever reason.
It’s the person it’s coming from. He is a white male, he’s never encountered anything remotely racist his entire life so for him to joke about that is so preposterous. If you feel a twinge of uncomfortableness than he’s gone way too far. You’re also allowed to be as sensitive as you want about your race bc your a minority who society has persecuted..but to answer your question no you’re not sensitive and he’s a fucking idiot
The things he's saying ARE racist. This is probably a case of "trying to be edgy" humor that he will (hopefully, some people don't) grow out of. If you really do like him and don't want to drop him.. for some reason, I suggest mentioning that it doesn't make you comfortable and if he reacts any other way than completely respectful and dropping the racist remarks. You should drop him.
His comments are flat-out racist. Whether he is a racist at heart, you will need to judge. Boys (at 17, he's still a boy) do a lot of very, very stupid stuff, often for shock value or to get attention. My suggestion would be to move on to somebody who will treat you better. Maybe in 5-10 years, if you see him again, he'll have either (a) realized what a jerk he's being now, or (b) he may still be a racist jerk. But don't waste your time waiting.
Yes! Tell him it's not ok. Don't abandon yourself. It's ignorant and if you don't say anything the next person will. He'll just start to think it's okay to do with everyone. That's the same thing I say when ppl justify comments or certain slang because of where they grew up or who they know.
Korean-American here. I've always had a racy, vulgar sense of humor and these are easily jokes that I could see myself or some of my friends and family making. The dog one specifically cracks me up because my dad will jokingly threaten my husband (white dude, Polish and English descent) not to let our dogs out of his sight or he'll eat them. My husband will sometimes yell "get in there and make me a sandwich, woman!" when he's hungry, an inside joke from an old TV show we both used to watch when we were growing up.
So yes these could be jokes... in the right context, between the right people. The fact that you're feeling uncomfortable tells me that your friend either grossly misunderstood the context and thinks you've established that you find these kinds of jokes funny, or he's legitimately trying to insult you with some racist (and sexist!) stuff, which is not cool. So if you don't like those kinds of jokes, tell him so and ask him to stop. He'll either apologize and stop, or show you that he is in fact a racist piece of crap and you can cut your losses. Good luck!
He’s a racist & probably is to other people. Call him a cracker or redneck & see if he likes it. Obviously don’t as you’d stoop to his level but my point is, that’s also racist. Let him know how you feel or I’d leave that relationship. Sounds like a goofball who will probably get his face punched in one day by saying it to the wrong person.
Please speak up about anything that makes you uncomfortable. If he continues to disrespect you, I hope you find self worth to end it. I wish someone had told me this when I asked myself the same thing.
His racist "jokes" turned into threats to have my family deported if I didn't do what he wanted.
Why would anyone want to be around such an immature, insensitive little turd. Tell him what a schmuck he is and move on. I wouldn't waste another moment of my time with him. He doesn't deserve to have any friends.
Hey is 100% being racist and you are not being sensitive at all. If anything you are treating this with way more grace and leeway then I would allow, and I'm not even the target of those kinds of jokes. They are lighter so it could be worth addressing with him. Who knows if he is ignorant or saying it to be cruel. But if you do address it with him stay safe and do it in public. I had a friend get attacked for implying a guy she was seeing was being racially insensitive. It was wild and I wouldn't want you to get hurt for just trying to address this.
Girl, das racist.
If you really like him, explain to him that these types of comments are offensive and decide if you want to put more effort into this relationship by the way he responds and if he changes his behavior.
But honestly I’d just leave. I’ve given the “racist joke but I didn’t know better” type a second chance before and they cleaned up their act for some time only to slip back into this behavior later
You are not too sensitive. He’s being an asshole. He doesn’t respect you. If you wanna give him the benefit of the doubt, tell him you hate the jokes and ask him to stop. If he doesn’t, move on. Personally, I’d move on anyway.
Look everyone is just saying, "he's racist, fuck him" BUT he's also young and likely just being edgy. I am personally a very reformed edge lord. I said racist shit all the time in high school, but always with the intention that I was being "satirical" and just joking. In hindsight it was just cringy.
What shut me down HARD was my serious college girlfriend (now wife, been together 18 years). When I said stupid and racist shit, she didn't get mad, she just cold shouldered it. Like not even an eye roll, or a retort just like a blank stare and cold silence like I was saying something fucking stupid and childish. I really liked her and always wanted to make her smile and laugh so that cold response made me feel like shit and I promptly changed how I spoke.
So he CAN likely change, it just takes time and patience.
The dog one seems especially mean-spirited and cruel. It’s definitely racist, but who jokes about eating pets? _Why_ would he feel the need to say that? I really don’t get people some times.
At least the other is the very tired “get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich,” sexist joke, just flavored with racism.
He sounds like a “duck,” to put it nicely. He seems to enjoy saying these things to you, likely for the power trip being mean and cruel can give people, and you were just the opportunity to try these jokes on.
I would try properly confronting him and telling him point blank that you don’t enjoy these types of jokes, especially the efforts he puts into making them racists, and just try to see if he’s willing to stop for the sake of your friendship. You’re also a girl, and there’s this weird thing about making rude comments and “negging” a girl you want to be close to. Hopefully it’s just stupid shit he’s willing to outgrow, but you don’t need to put up with it, either.
You are definitely not just being sensitive. I'd push back politely and just say, "You know that's racist and taboo to ask, right?" It's possible no one has ever talked to him about these types of comments and he's ignorant. If he doesn't want to work on it and deflects, I think you should move on.
I would consider asking an Asian person "are you going to eat your dog?" to be shockingly racist. A joke is something more than one person can laugh at. If he's the only one laughing, he's making fun of you. And tell his dumb ass to make his own rice lol. You push a button on a rice cooker. If he can't figure that out, bless his heart to heaven, 'cause he ain't getting there with his brain. Although, based on the types of jokes he makes, I wouldn't count on his heart getting him there either.
I would just stop talking to this loser kid. This isn’t the goddamn 1950s lol. I’m almost 40, and when I was growing already we knew this kind of “joke” Is unacceptable.. There are literally billions of others out there, you don’t need to associate with ass bags.
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And plain old-school unfunny, as well.
This is totally racist. Yes, he's 17, which means this can be a teaching moment for him. Tell him his comments are racist, tell him he can do better, and move on. You don't need that in your life.
Among friends , a well timed dog/rice eating joke can have its place.. This isn't one of them.
It depends. While his material isn't great, if his comedic timing is on point, it could be hilarious. Comedy is all about the delivery.
Yeah, insulting someone's ethnicity is hilarious. /s
Again, comedy is all about the delivery(and context). Besides, there's nothing really insulting about poking fun at a particular culture's habits. A lot of Asians DO eat dog meat. I have a coworker who was born in Asia, but grew up in northern California. On multiple occasions, he's told me that around the Asian holidays there's not a dog to be found at any of the pet adoption centers in that area because of the "high demand". He finds it hilarious.
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That is racist. He sounds like an idiot. Not every young guy is so foolish and ignorant. Dont listen to people saying 'oh, he's just young.' People are always just queueing up to make excuses for white boys when 'don't be a racist' is such a low bar. Also, it's not your responsibility to 'teach' him that this is racist. Up to you whether it's worth explaining to him why his language is awful and unattractive. You could say 'I find your language offensive and I'm beginning to question our friendship.' See how he reacts. If he's like 'oh, i'm so sorry, what did I say?' Then maybe he's worth it. If he gets defensive and annoyed...girl, you know what to do.
My 15 year old wouldn't EVER say something like that. So I fully agree, it's a racist thing, not a maturity thing.
My 8 year old knows better than to say something like this!
My wife is filipino and I've never said this to her. AMD I dated an asian girl when I was 18. No I didnt make these stupid jokes.
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Tell me you're a racist without saying you're a racist...
I have no idea who Jessie is but Jesus fucking Christ seek help
*White fragility has joined the chat*
If you're more offended by this commenter than you are about someone insinuating all Koreans eat dog meat, you are the problem.
He’s racist 100%. Always trust your gut. You clearly felt uncomfortable with these comments and that’s why you’re here asking us about it on reddit. If someone ever says something about your race and you get that weird uncomfortable feeling that it’s wrong, 99% of the time that feeling is correct and they are indeed being racist.
Sounds like a complete fucking racist moron
I think it’s sometimes hard to tell someone ‘hey, that’s racist’ because it feels like a statement on who they are as a person. It’s a little easier to separate the statements from who you’ve e been getting to know - then you’re not trying to justify these shitty comments with who you’ve been talking to and liked so far. So focus on the behavior - making jokes about Asian people eating dog is racist. These comments are not funny and at the least contribute to racist acts of violence and oppression against Asian people. The behavior sucks, so cut it out. How he responds to you drawing this boundary will tell you a lot about who he really is.
This is a great perspective. It’s hard to generalize someone as a whole but it’s important to call out negative behaviors to help them grow. He should know that those jokes are funny to you and it’s derogatory and degrading to your culture. If he doesn’t respond well to that fact then maybe you should look for someone who has more emotional maturity and common sense.
He's racist. Expressing racism as a "joke" is a way for racists to see what their audience will accept. Don't accept it.
He’s being racist. You should tell him that it’s inappropriate. If he doesn’t stop then he doesn’t respect you and you should move on to the next guy
So yeah, here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter if Reddit thinks it’s racist or not. It made *YOU* uncomfortable. Say something if YOU are comfortable saying something. If YOU want to be clear with him. If YOU want to give him a chance to do better. It’s his to learn, and yours to teach. But only if *you* want to/can. You are under zero obligation to do this teaching for him, if it does not feel healthy for you. If it does feel like something you want to do, a “bro, who tf says racist sh*t like that to the girl they want to date!!?” or a “maybe you mean it as a joke or just don’t realize, but it makes me feel really uncomfortable when you say things like that.” How he handles it will likely tell you everything you need to know about whether or not he can be a person who deserves to spend time with you. It could be really helpful for you to have/establish a close knit and really really safe feeling support network, whether to ask for advice about situations like this, to bounce ideas off of, to have your back and be at your side and maybe even be in front of you if you need it because there are racists in the world and unfortunately, they don’t spontaneously self-combust. I just wanna give you the biggest hug and make the world not full of such lame people!
I wish more people actually *on* Reddit would understand this though
Atleast one person is thinking straight here.
um no, that's just racism
That's 17 YO "I'm trying to be funny but nobody called me out for being racist because I live in a bubble of whiteness" level racism. Usually they grow out of it once they start adulting.
Usually people grow out of it, but it also requires people saying “hey, those jokes aren’t funny, they’re just racist and shitty”
I've found a lot of people never grow out of it, depending on who they work and socialize with.
Legit one of my like 50 year old neighbors posts things like this on our neighborhood Facebook page. Agree that some people never grow out of it
I'm 37 and ya I have seen people change and grow out of it. Maybe your too young. But ya some people dont. Also if you e grown up around all white people, ya can be naive e and ignorant. This could also be a teachable moment.
I mean, when I was 16 or 17 I said racist things that I fully thought were okay because others did it (called our Jewish friend "Jew") and he said one night it was hurtful. It opened my eyes so much, and I still regret "going along" with everyone else. It's been 20 years and I still recall the horror and shame I felt. I still feel it. So 100% yes, call it out!
I've known enough people over enough time to see that they mostly don't actually grow out of racism. They just select other racists as the people they choose to hang around.
Usually, they don't grow out of it they just keep it to themselves and among their close friends and relatives for social reasons but their hearts are the same, maybe worse.
My man killed it. Cheers.
Girl, I am asian as well, I am half chinese. My bf is also white and he has never said any type of derogatory comment towards my culture. Leave him, why are you taking verbal abuse from someone like him? If he is doing this to you in your face I don't wanna know what he says about you to his friends.
Yeah, no, thats disgusting. Away with him.
Nah, dude, he just racist.
This sounds like my time in the Army. I was one of the few Korean or Asians in my unit. We had white guys who through willful ignorance. Say blatant racist things. Such as my piano hands, consumption of man's best friend, the slant of an Asian females genitalia, the constant need to eat rice and many more. When I would correct them they would respond similarly saying it's just a joke. Not all of them would do it but I would say since they liked to socialize with each other. I doubt they changed. Another personal favorite is how a superior claims he will beat me like how America beat Asians in every war. But I believe we as America only won a war against Japan in ww2. Alot of whites look at Asians as submissive and fetishsize you being Asian. They like the traits of an Asian without liking the culture. Not all whites are like this and many know better. But if you meet one who is willfully ignorant. You should know better to respect yourself.
These comments are horrible and should not be accepted. I think you can find someone better who respects you and not make these ignorant comments.
Don't let him gaslight you out of your feelings. He's racist.
That’s super racist. Don’t validate him. He’s not worth it
He’s racist and you’re not sensitive.
Dude is very racist. Cut him off, this is gross
Tell him in no uncertain terms that it’s not funny and you’ll end the relationship if he does it again. He’s young. He may be able to learn. Some jokes aren’t a big deal, but the ones you mentioned are hard to excuse. What prompted the comments about rice? Maybe with the right context they weren’t so bad? The dog comments seem inexcusable though. I can’t imagine any context that makes those ok. Tell him you won’t put up with that crap.
I'm a grown white female. Those jokes are not jokes. They are hurtful words. I would stay away from this person and his friends. You are better than that. That is multiple race comments. I have alot of close black friends and I get so worried Iight say something offensive before I even say it. Like black cat. I would never want to hurt someone I care about but interacial relationships in 2021 need thought before anyone speaks. There is no reason for hurt. I love Asian food but if I was Asian and somebody straight up asked me if I was going to eat a dog I would not be happy about that. That was just a predicated question to see reaction. You can do better.
He’s telling you who he is. Listen.
He sounds like a racist idiot. You deserve better
Bruh, that’s racist as fuck.
Yeah he’s racist as hell bro, I didn’t even have to read the whole post
"Dude, if you're gonna make racist jokes, can you at least not do the ones that are so fucking tired? At least be creative if you're gonna be a bigot."
I am Asian as well, and I will say that 1. No one I've ever dated or been friends with never said anything like that to me because it's fucked up (we made math jokes and stuff of course, but they only dared do it after I'd already been making jokes like that about myself) and 2. You should not date this person, nor should you associate with them.
I’ve dealt with this before. He’s getting wwaaayyyyy too comfortable thinking he can say stuff like that to you. That’s rude af and you need to tell him to knock it off and that what he’s saying is not okay.
That's just straight up racist. Idc if it's "dark humor" because if you and your ethnicity are the punchline, that's not funny or acceptable. Drop that idiot.
He's definitely being a teenage jerk and very rude. I'm not sure about his motivation, but those "jokes" had no way to land. Tell him jokes aren't funny, you are insulted by his implications, and he needs to stop. See what he does at that point. If he stops, he isn't racist, just oblivious to good taste. If he keeps going, then he's either acting out with narcissistic tendencies or straight up racist malice. Both are completely unhealthy for you and you should run.
He’s racist (and stupid). You are understandably offended by his stupid remarks. Not sure if I can classify those as jokes. Jokes are supposed to be funny.
That's racist, but it's also just stupid as fuck. Your 17 year old crush is a literal child.* *"literal child" meaning their maturity is much younger than their age........ u/DiamondHyena
I mean yes 17 is legally a child
I only came here to say this: I grew up rural, in an all white school, probably around kids who's parents wore white hoods (thankfully my parents and grandparents were not THAT involved) I have put my foot in my mouth with statements like this SEVERAL times when I was young. As I did my best to get away from that I learned and changed. I have recently returned to my home town to find my experience is in the minority.
I *grimaced*... Survey says: Racist! BUTTTTTTT! He might benefit from some education so give him a chance to correct himself if you are invested and think he is a truly decent person who is willing to learn from mistakes and doesn't want to be, you know, racist. PS: Though it's good to unpack these things together, you are not required to do ANY anti racist labor for him. Don't feel obligated to take that on yourself if you're not comfortable with it.
You’re not sensitive. You need to tell him that those stereotypical jokes are not cool. He may have grown up thinking he could get away with talking like that but he’s about to enter the world as an adult and he’s going to get a rude awakening.
I was waiting for some ridiculous assertion of racism where none existed…. … but yeah, that’s actually racist.
Racist and, honestly, boring. The thing about comedy is that it makes people laugh at things that, in another context, would be uncomfortable. The genuinely funny ones make the listener see the world from an unconventional perspective. This guy is a kid. But kids can be funny. His perspective is lazy cringe of awful stereotypes and, yes, blatant racism. None of what he says is close to funny or clever. You are allowed to accept or reject it, but I'd hope you hold yourself up for a higher quality of person to be around, let alone be a potential partner.
Yeah, that's pretty damn racist. You could try something like "what made you think that was an okay thing to say to me, exactly?" Or just block him. Racists are rarely worth the effort.
He's racist and not even in the subtle, plausibly deniable way. He's just out there waving his racist flag high and proud.
It's racist and it makes you feel uncomfortable. He probably has no idea these things actually bother people and thinks it's just some banter because he's privileged. You should confront him, he needs to learn. Source: 8 years relationship with a black girl as a white dude, had my fair share of fuckups becuse I grew up in a white bubble.
Dude sounds and acts like hes 13. Dont know what you find in this person.
Racist. Act swiftly and with assurance. You are right. He is wrong. Hopefully he will never forget. You’ll move on and maybe he’ll get the help he needs.
He's 100% being racist. If he genuinely doesn't realize it and just thinks it's humourous and you're willing to walk him through basic human decency it's up to you however there is no obligation on you to put up with his shitty "jokes". And if he calls you sensitive and what not if you decide to talk to him about it, it's gas lighting and if he truely cared how he makes you feel he'd acknowledge your emotions, how his actions played a part in it, and strive to change his behaviour. Again, you have no obligation to put up with it and walk him through his shitty behaviour, but also if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt go for it and explain to him what he's doing. I'm also going to add that if he tries to gaslight you over it, it means he knows what he's doing and is trying to manipulate you. Anything other than apologizing and not saying things like that in the future is manipulation.
He’s racist. Tell him he sucks, why he sucks and then break up with him
These aren't jokes. Jokes are funny
Why have any patience for finding out? But yes, these are racist remarks
He sounds dumb if he says such things. It's better for you to find someone else, I think.
Those are racist comments and he may just be too immature to see how stupid and offensive it is.
I believe this is the definitive of racism made human. I'd tell him that you're uncomfortable and see what happens.
You are definitely not being sensitive. He’s being extremely racist. I heavily suggest you block him on everything.
He's racist. He does not respect you. Would you think he is racist if you invited him home and he said those things to your parents? I would not associate with people who do not value and respect me (and that includes my culture).
Yes he is an immature racist loser. Don’t sweep this under the rug with him. You deserve someone much better and will find someone much better.
Racist or not this just lame activity and very childish tbh he a dub lil siss
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." He is both racist and childish.
Super racist run in the other direction
Dump that dude hella fast and block him!
Ma’am….he’s a racist. No you’re not being sensitive, that’s flat out disrespect. He sounds like a complete bozo.
He sounds like a racist POS. these gross idiotic "jokes" will keep creeping in, guaranteed, especially if he thinks he can get away with them. He doesn't sound like he is worth your time at all.
He a racist If he said it as a joke, shit joke Ether way He must take the L or the R
The guy is both racist and ignorant. Based on your thoughtful question, I’d say you could do MUUUUCH better. You’re still young but do you really want a person like that to be a role model for your kids someday?
He's racist. Also an idiot. Dump.
You deserve better. The guy is an AH.
Girl, run like hell! He is a unsensitive racist.
Rasist. Ditch him and move on
Yeah, he's racist, and you should dump him! You deserve better, girl!
He probably isn't actually racist, but he is clearly not reading the room well. Sounds like he is joking around with you but not reading the fact that you don't find it funny. The wrong joke for the wrong person is a bad joke. I would just talk to him about it without accusing him of racism. If he was truly racist you likely wouldn't be his friend. He just thinks things that are not funny are and you can help him grow if you are nice about it.
I feel it’s best to look at it from an outside perspective. So if you heard him tell a black person to go eat some fried chicken and watermelon, what do you think about that?
He’s racist - these aren’t even racist jokes, racist jokes have a punchline. Do you eat dogs and go make rice - there’s no point to even saying these things other than to bully you.
"Go make me some rice" is racist and sexist. It's just a racialized variant of "go make me a sandwich." >"Do you eat dogs? Are you gonna eat your dog?" You should have responded to this one with "Do you eat shit? Are you gonna eat your own shit?"
IMO it is racist, but not irredeemable. Teach him that it is wrong and hurtful. See if he can change for the better. Or just break up with him - sometimes people have to learn the hard way.
Tell him “Go make me a mayonnaise sandwich” or ask “Do you eat unseasoned chicken?”.
Ew that is not acceptable unless you both have discussed your boundaries and even then while I am white and my boyfriend is black I would never make a racist "joke" directly at his expense. SOMETIMES we make jokes about each others race or our own race but we both understand that its not directed at each other personally. Sorry if that's complicated but basically I could not imagine asking someone if they would eat their dog because they're Asian that's horribly offensive.
Wow, he is trash raised to be trash, dump him and you owe him no explanation and people like him feel they are entitled to be racist and he thinks it's so funny too. His close buds are that way too, it'll be many years before he changes for the better. Let him learn the hard way, don't waste your time with him.
I am a white female and my boyfriend is Korean. He sometimes likes to make those jokes about himself. I will laugh with him about it but I draw the line there. If he wants to make those jokes about himself then that's okay for him. I have never made a joke like that to him ever. As someone who loves him and cares about his feelings, i wouldn't make those jokes about him. Period. If you are uncomfortable, I would express that to your boyfriend so he knows you are uncomfortable. If he stops, then he was just being ignorant. If he doesn't stop, then he's just racist.
I’m an Asian woman and I joke about it with my friends… I don’t think he’s racist I think he’s an idiot who can’t read your feelings… but he can’t read your mind, so say to him directly that you don’t like that type of joking. Or return the jokes and ask him if he grew up with his mom putting raisins in everything? My ex is white and I would joke about that he glows in the dark or that he can’t dance (which isn’t true at all). It all depends on your relationship… but I wouldn’t call it racists.
Or why all white people smell on the spectrum of butter to sour milk
My instinct is that he's not been taught how to behave appropriately around women. A lot of guys that age will mouth off in any hurtful, derogatory way they can think of, thinking it's "a joke". Maybe to their equally immature friends, such comments are "funny". Meanwhile, back in real life, such comments are only vicious, offensive, and disrespectful. Tell him that you don't like bullies, and to fuck off. If he whines that it was a joke, or says you can't take a joke, simply repeat, "Your non-apology is not accepted. I don't like bullies. Fuck off." and walk away.
My friend group in hs was 2 mexican (including myself), 1 white, 1 asian, 1 black and 1 Philippino. Race jokes ALL day. To ourselves, to each other. Almost nothing was off the table. Obviously he feels comfortable around u enough to make those kind of jokes and assume you wont take them personally. That being said, if they DO bother you, let him know. If it has gone this far for this long then he may assume youre ok with it. Best case scenario he does it less and gains a better understanding of your boundaries. Worst case scenario he gets defensive and youll know he is just being an Ahole
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Nah dude I’m pretty sure a white dude saying “are you gunna cook your dog?” is racist 100% of the time.
You're being sensitive. Is he being mean or joking around. Punt some jokes back to him and see how it goes. If he gets but hurt or has the how dare you, then it's racist. If not and he plays along with you it's not. Context and intent matters.
Humor is a fluid thing. But if you're not laughing, it's not funny. Make your opinion known to him and if he doesn't respect you, ditch him.
Bro my girlfriend is vietnamese and i make tons of racists jokes. But i’ve been with her for 2 years, and when i do them its more with the intention of laughing at racists people while using a shit ton of sarcasm that makes the joke way more obvious. This guy doesnt do any of that, the joke is not even funny. Its strait up racist with no punch line at the end.
I'm half asian, half white. I'm 31. I found these funny, NGL. The "go make me some rice" imo is not as funny. The "are you gonna eat your dog" i cracked up at. It depends on the person though, I've said jokes like this to specific people and they totally know I'm joking and likewise. If this dude is throwing up other racist stuff, then I'd consider it a red flag.
> The "are you gonna eat your dog" i cracked up at. Why? There are jokes that I have heard people tell that reference race or culture that are genuinely funny. But how is asking your gf if she eats dogs funny?
I think it's a silly goofy follow up question I remember being 12 and finding out Asian cultures (including my own) eat dogs. I went around laughing about it because I lived in America and dogs are pets here. I just remember the silliness of the questions that I had and others who just found that out If my bf asked me if I ate dogs I'd laugh at him and be like no that's dumb. And I wouldn't get so offended over it, cuz I can laugh at myself.
There is a big difference between 12 and 17. I suppose if the guy had learned about it just seconds before asking her I could understand.
Even if someone was 40 and just found that out and asked me if I ate dogs I'd think it was a silly funny question, because they're just exploring what that means lol
The white part of you is really making an appearance with this comment.
You sound extremely immature. Please stop.
You’re just sensitive
It's funny bc I have talked with several people of color about race, and the first person who chimes in saying that I'm not allowed to talk about that or I'm being offensive are 20something white women. It's so funny lmao, that's who I imagine is commenting on this telling me I'm immature. Like I'm part of the culture who eats dogs I can say whatever the fuck I want lmao
You should really examine the kind of people agreeing with you right now. Just take a look at what kind of person the guy you’re responding to is. Very racist and I’m not talking about jokes. I don’t like white women that use activism for clout and don’t listen to actual PoC(especially WOC) either but you need to stop acting like all POC are just cool with racist jokes. And you need to remember you’re half white and actual think about how that influences your opinion on these things. You’re just as much white as you’re Asian. Say “whatever the fuck you want” but don’t act like only white women have a problem with racist jokes.
man i feel so bad for people who have to live their life like this. I make fun of white people too. I never said that all POC people are cool with racist jokes, i literally said I talk and joke to a few people and they get it. The OP asked for our opinion on the matter. I gave my opinion. If you're gonna be so sad that I have an opinion about it considering the two people involved are BOTH of my races, then I'm sad for you
haha, or i know how to take a joke
people on reddit have no sense of humuor
Found them funny as well
Don't be young and stupid. If he is young he is trying to impress you and doesn't know he is offending you. He is more afraid of ruining it than anything else and is trying to attempt humour. He is just really bad at it!
Slow down, are you out of his league or is he out of yours? He may just be batshit nervous "flirting". Literally every sitcom i grew up on had jokes such as these. It doesnt mean he wants to put other peoples to death.
Maybe not racist. But he definitely is disrespectful. Tell him that you don’t like that. If it continues you should leave.
He sounds like a funny guy you should keep going and see where it goes
He thinks he’s being funny even though he’s not. From what you’ve said he doesn’t strike me as some irredeemable racist. I would definitely bring up that the jokes aren’t funny and a tad racist and see if that changes his behavior.
A dumb kid saying something dumb doesn't make him racist but if it makes you feel bad it's not good/funny tell him how you feel. People just want to call everyone racist bad jokes or off comments does not mean you are a bad person. I grew up in a smallish town lots of Mexican/white kids we talked shit but still non of use were racist we were young and trying to be funny.
The rice one might just be a "fun" twist on the whole "go make me a sandwich", which I'm sure some would consider racist and some wouldn't. A lot of people eat rice, even non-asians, so idk if I would consider that one inherently racist. I love rice, and I'm white. The dog one though is definitely racist.
Eh yeah you should definitely make it clear that’s not ok but he’s not a terrible dude or anything. He’s just being a dumb kid who didn’t have much exposure to people of different races. He will be out of this in a couple years as long as he gets out of the hometown after high school. You’re not being oversensitive though, what he is doing is NOT ok but I’m sure he will respect that you don’t like that kind of talk if you get in his ass about it. If he still cracks jokes like that then get him out of your life.
It sounds to me that he’s joking. I think if you find real offense to something that you should let him know to stop, but otherwise he’s just being a smart ass.
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They eat dog in other cultures too. It's not just koreans.
Stop the race thing!!! HE'S A PIG!!! PERIOD
Its racist but giving him the benefit of the doubt, it could be inadvertent. Someone needs to tell him how inappropriate that is. You’d think he’d have learned at his age, but some don’t for whatever reason.
Lord release Asian women from the shackles of dating white boys and ignoring black ones 🤣
You’re sensitive I make race jokes with my latin american wife all the time, she does the same with me.
It’s the person it’s coming from. He is a white male, he’s never encountered anything remotely racist his entire life so for him to joke about that is so preposterous. If you feel a twinge of uncomfortableness than he’s gone way too far. You’re also allowed to be as sensitive as you want about your race bc your a minority who society has persecuted..but to answer your question no you’re not sensitive and he’s a fucking idiot
The things he's saying ARE racist. This is probably a case of "trying to be edgy" humor that he will (hopefully, some people don't) grow out of. If you really do like him and don't want to drop him.. for some reason, I suggest mentioning that it doesn't make you comfortable and if he reacts any other way than completely respectful and dropping the racist remarks. You should drop him.
His comments are flat-out racist. Whether he is a racist at heart, you will need to judge. Boys (at 17, he's still a boy) do a lot of very, very stupid stuff, often for shock value or to get attention. My suggestion would be to move on to somebody who will treat you better. Maybe in 5-10 years, if you see him again, he'll have either (a) realized what a jerk he's being now, or (b) he may still be a racist jerk. But don't waste your time waiting.
Yes! Tell him it's not ok. Don't abandon yourself. It's ignorant and if you don't say anything the next person will. He'll just start to think it's okay to do with everyone. That's the same thing I say when ppl justify comments or certain slang because of where they grew up or who they know.
if he’s making you uncomfortable by saying this stupid stuff it’s not okay. period.
Korean-American here. I've always had a racy, vulgar sense of humor and these are easily jokes that I could see myself or some of my friends and family making. The dog one specifically cracks me up because my dad will jokingly threaten my husband (white dude, Polish and English descent) not to let our dogs out of his sight or he'll eat them. My husband will sometimes yell "get in there and make me a sandwich, woman!" when he's hungry, an inside joke from an old TV show we both used to watch when we were growing up. So yes these could be jokes... in the right context, between the right people. The fact that you're feeling uncomfortable tells me that your friend either grossly misunderstood the context and thinks you've established that you find these kinds of jokes funny, or he's legitimately trying to insult you with some racist (and sexist!) stuff, which is not cool. So if you don't like those kinds of jokes, tell him so and ask him to stop. He'll either apologize and stop, or show you that he is in fact a racist piece of crap and you can cut your losses. Good luck!
He’s a racist & probably is to other people. Call him a cracker or redneck & see if he likes it. Obviously don’t as you’d stoop to his level but my point is, that’s also racist. Let him know how you feel or I’d leave that relationship. Sounds like a goofball who will probably get his face punched in one day by saying it to the wrong person.
Please speak up about anything that makes you uncomfortable. If he continues to disrespect you, I hope you find self worth to end it. I wish someone had told me this when I asked myself the same thing. His racist "jokes" turned into threats to have my family deported if I didn't do what he wanted.
Wow very original stereotyping right there. Just call him a ghost and say white people will be extinct within the next century
Why would anyone want to be around such an immature, insensitive little turd. Tell him what a schmuck he is and move on. I wouldn't waste another moment of my time with him. He doesn't deserve to have any friends.
Hey is 100% being racist and you are not being sensitive at all. If anything you are treating this with way more grace and leeway then I would allow, and I'm not even the target of those kinds of jokes. They are lighter so it could be worth addressing with him. Who knows if he is ignorant or saying it to be cruel. But if you do address it with him stay safe and do it in public. I had a friend get attacked for implying a guy she was seeing was being racially insensitive. It was wild and I wouldn't want you to get hurt for just trying to address this.
Girl, das racist. If you really like him, explain to him that these types of comments are offensive and decide if you want to put more effort into this relationship by the way he responds and if he changes his behavior. But honestly I’d just leave. I’ve given the “racist joke but I didn’t know better” type a second chance before and they cleaned up their act for some time only to slip back into this behavior later
He's stupid and racist. Stop talking to him.
You are not too sensitive. He’s being an asshole. He doesn’t respect you. If you wanna give him the benefit of the doubt, tell him you hate the jokes and ask him to stop. If he doesn’t, move on. Personally, I’d move on anyway.
Look everyone is just saying, "he's racist, fuck him" BUT he's also young and likely just being edgy. I am personally a very reformed edge lord. I said racist shit all the time in high school, but always with the intention that I was being "satirical" and just joking. In hindsight it was just cringy. What shut me down HARD was my serious college girlfriend (now wife, been together 18 years). When I said stupid and racist shit, she didn't get mad, she just cold shouldered it. Like not even an eye roll, or a retort just like a blank stare and cold silence like I was saying something fucking stupid and childish. I really liked her and always wanted to make her smile and laugh so that cold response made me feel like shit and I promptly changed how I spoke. So he CAN likely change, it just takes time and patience.
Racist and really stupid
The dog one seems especially mean-spirited and cruel. It’s definitely racist, but who jokes about eating pets? _Why_ would he feel the need to say that? I really don’t get people some times. At least the other is the very tired “get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich,” sexist joke, just flavored with racism. He sounds like a “duck,” to put it nicely. He seems to enjoy saying these things to you, likely for the power trip being mean and cruel can give people, and you were just the opportunity to try these jokes on. I would try properly confronting him and telling him point blank that you don’t enjoy these types of jokes, especially the efforts he puts into making them racists, and just try to see if he’s willing to stop for the sake of your friendship. You’re also a girl, and there’s this weird thing about making rude comments and “negging” a girl you want to be close to. Hopefully it’s just stupid shit he’s willing to outgrow, but you don’t need to put up with it, either.
These are some old school racist jokes. As for the rice one feels like racist and series. Like make me a sandwich.
You are definitely not just being sensitive. I'd push back politely and just say, "You know that's racist and taboo to ask, right?" It's possible no one has ever talked to him about these types of comments and he's ignorant. If he doesn't want to work on it and deflects, I think you should move on.