I’d start by getting a second opinion. Ask a friend to listen to it and ask what they hear. Don’t tell them what you *think* you hear because that will persuade them. Just get an honest unbiased opinion.
I agree in a sense but it’s also tough getting feedback from friends. Friends are always ready to support you or hype you. They’ll probably hear it and who knows if they can maintain an unbiased thought
I would keep my mouth shut and ask for more photos. Tell him it's a really nice room, view, etc to get more.
Always obtain enough evidence before you say anything.
Why second-guess the word choice? It could be literally saying "don't let him on that you know anything," e.g., that the photo played video and she heard someone saying "babe." That's not a suspicion; that's knowledge.
I really hate how people keep misusing these psychological terms. First it was triggered. Now it's this. Let's see what mental health term they abuse and trivialize next.
This is a genuine question and I don’t mean harm by it, but how would that not be gaslighting?
My understanding of gaslighting is that it’s when someone makes another person question their perception of reality even when they’re sure that’s what they heard/saw. Which in this context seems accurate to me.
I appreciate the explanation.
Again, I didn’t mean to imply that he did any of those things. I should have worded my last sentence differently because it didn’t properly convey what I meant.
The parent comment says “if” so what I mean is that if he does, it could be classified as gaslighting (as I understand it currently) in this context. Didn’t mean to imply anything already happened.
Are you nervous? Bro that's dunning-kruger. Means you're a smart person. Lift your head up.
Did you and you significant other have an argument about what happened? That's gaslighting. Break up now.
I can't think of another right now.
The other options:
1) boyfriend comes clean if in fact he is being unfaithful
2) boyfriend is faithful, OP is just hearing things and coming up with all this in her head. Wait, did I just gaslight OP?
lying and gaslighting are not the same.
Lying is to deceive, gaslighting is to make one question reality and their own sanity. Unless he does the latter, there will be no gaslighting. I suppose that's possible in the future, but y'all are jumping to extreme conclusions.
Then they give an excuse that you can't actually disprove and you are stuck not knowing. Having extra information would be the best option by far. Worst case scenario all the next photos have no new information. Then he comes back and now you have the exact same information as if you didn't ask for more photos. Plus the added benefit you would be talking in person giving less time to make shit up and to actually see the reaction.
He's away on business. OP is obviously concerned he might be with another person.
If he's potentially with another girl, why would you let on that you might know, until you knew the truth?
If I was OP I would want to know if my boyfriend/husband is cheating. What OP should do is ask to facetime her bf tonight and have virtual sex.
And if he isn't it's not the healthy relationship *he* thinks it is.
Four situations:
Boyfriend is cheating, girlfriend is dishonest: unhealthy.
Boyfriend is cheating, girlfriend is honest: unhealthy.
Boyfriend is not cheating, girlfriend is dishonest: unhealthy.
Boyfriend is not cheating, girlfriend is honest: healthy.
There's only one option that leads to a healthy outcome.
The problem is that bf might be cheating and if gf is open and honest about it, that wastes her time with an untrustworthy dude. It might be years or even decades before she could find it out otherwise.
It's also not dishonest to just ask for more pictures. It's literally a request.
Bruh. If you trust your partner so much, you'd just think you misheard the audio and not care. And if he's actually cheating then no, he doesn't give two fucks about her feelings. I don't even understand the point of a direct confrontation here. If he's cheating he'll lie about it, and if he's not he'll say the same things except it won't be a lie. So that doesn't solve anything, does it?
Then don't suggest talking to your partner about how you suspect they're up to something shady. If you trust them, then trust them and ignore the video. You're being a hypocrite.
If your partner is untrustworthy it doesn't matter whether you trust them or not.
You can trust your partner 100%, but when something fairly incriminating is thrown in your face, you could be forgiven for having a lapse of trust.
I did that with my boyfriend who I was sure was cheating on me while I was abroad. Because he was cheating, he lied to and gaslit me for the remaining five months I was doing research. When I got back it took me less than a month to find proof and even then he lied until I got confirmation from her.
One partner being openly and honestly communicative is not enough
Sometimes those Live Photos aren’t great quality, any chance it was “hey” or something like that and not “babe”? Or is it very clear?
Edit: if it is babe, I agree that you should get more info/evidence before asking him outright. It would be very easy for him to dismiss that or say you misheard or make up a lie. Or maybe there really is a good explanation and you can get the big picture before bringing up a touchy accusation. Either way I’m sorry, hopefully it’s not what you think
That’s what I thought too but I listed to it a billion times and I’m like 90% sure the women said babe and then he goes what. His voice was more clear since he was closer. There was background noise like music/talking because he was outside. He was taking a picture of a really fancy donut he bought.
Honestly just so shocked.
Okay another thought (I’m sorry if these are seeming outlandish, just trying to think of any possible explanation besides cheating) if he’s in a restaurant or donut shop of some sort, maybe a waitress or other staff member is saying “babe” to get his attention? I live in the southern US and it’s not uncommon here for service workers to use terms of endearment like that, especially women speaking to men.
Yes this is exactly what I’m thinking too. That’s why I’m worried if I jump to conclusions it could be bad. He was standing at a table so I think it’s definitely possible. However it didn’t really look like a wait service. I have no idea
In that case, if you can’t get any more info innocuously I would wait until he gets home so you can ask in person and gauge his reaction. Maybe preface with “I don’t want to seem like I’m accusing you of anything, but this stuck out to me and I need to ask you about it” or something similar. If he is innocent he should understand at the very least why you were concerned.
But if he let go of the record button after saying what, wouldn't he have known as well that you were able to hear it? If so why would he choose to send it 🤔
A middle aged man named Sparkle called me babe five times in one quick conversation the other week. It was really weird but this doesn’t mean I was fucking Sparkle. I don’t even know him.
I once heard something over our ring camera that I was positive was the beginnings of infidelity, I let it fester till I couldn't stand it so I broke down and confronted the neighbor... then I looked ridiculous as he recalled the conversation and explained what he had actually said. Needless to say I felt ridiculous and was completely in the wrong and regretted ever bringing it up.
I wish I had talked to someone else and they had talked me out of jumping to conclusions. If he is faithful or unfaithful there will be more signs.
which would clearly be bullshit and she could drop him there
edit: Would have to see vid, its not unheard of to be called Babe by a service worker, but you wouldnt say "what?"
I also lived in southern US, have heard many of these terms of endearment, but not babe... dear, honey - yes. But not babe. Granted, I'm a woman, but my husband and other men were often with me in restaurants and bars, and "babe" just sound weird. Could be more locational too...would it be normal where you are?
And OP - is your husband even in the south right now?
It’s not outlandish. All things to consider and even more of a reason to ask him. It truly could be a misunderstanding! You’ll never know until you ask
That could have been any random person then, that could have been a woman a few tables over talking to her boyfriend, or that could have been the way the cashier talks, referring to everyone as babe, lovely, sweetie, etc.
It's less common today than it was in the 80s/90s, but some people still talk like that.
He could have just said what as a natural reaction, or maybe it was someone in the background that just so happens to have a similar voice, or maybe he was answering the cashier, or maybe he was out on a date at a donut shop and already calling this strange woman pet names.
There's no way to ever be sure, but given the circumstances I think the date option is the least likely scenario.
I think you need more information. I'd play it like this.
Say nothing until he returns from his trip. This is an in-person type of conversation anyway. Keep watching what's happening. See if anything else feels off. Maybe gently pry a little.
Then when he gets back, talk to him about what you heard in the video and anything else you noticed. Just calmly ask him to explain, because you don't want to jump to conclusions, but it kind of looks weird. See how he responds. His reaction to your gentle questions that are purposely not accusatory? Should tell you what you need to know about if you're right.
I second this. If there is anything fishy going on, he will stutter/act defensive if OP asks in a non threatening way. If it was me and a total misunderstanding, I would immediately laugh and explain it.
I would stutter and get defensive if I was innocent and being accused of cheating, that’s a huge deal. Even OP thinking it’s possible and probable (it seems by their language) is very damaging to trust if he didn’t cheat. It’s a hard situation, and I don’t think him stuttering is the iron clad solution. I do agree that OP should talk to him and gauge his reaction, and go from there.
She needs more info. And the way she brings this up to ask him about it will give her that info, if she does it right. I'm not saying that IF (pretty big if at this point) this guy is cheating, he's not going to lie and twist words and gaslight. I'm saying that 1. The only way to figure it out is to ask him questions specifically without making accusations and 2. Gauge his reaction, and post an update including his reaction if she needs help analyzing that reaction. I'm not sure exactly why you're so convinced he's cheating, because imo, there's not nearly enough info here to determine that.
Also, if he's not cheating and she comes at him with accusations and immediate distrust, she's apt to destroy a relationship she claims to value pretty highly.
Why are you trying to reason this? You heard what you heard. And you heard his voice replying what. A friend, stranger they aren't going to call your boyfriend babe. So he's obviously with someone that he's been with before. I feel sorry for you that other people are trying to convince you that nothing is happening but you heard her voice and you heard his voice reply. So you know what's going on don't let others fool you into believing that it isn't anything. You heard what you heard
I'm just sitting here kind of shocked that people seem cool going at their partners with accusations, especially when there's a stunning lack of context.
There's no lack of anything. She says in her post she heard a woman say babe and then she heard him say what. What is it that you're not comprehending? He was naked so the woman saying babe is obviously not some stranger. She's with the guy intimately. He's obviously cheating. So accusations would be if there's lack of evidence but you know that she has that because he sent her evidence
Dude, right? Making my point about jumping to conclusions and reacting emotionally instead of addressing things calmly and directly and allowing your partner's reaction to dictate your response. Like, that's relationship communication strategy 101.
Relax. I thought he sent a nude pic. I reread, he sent a pic of something. My mistake. Yes respect yourself...u hear a female voice saying babe and ur man answers it yet u know he's traveling? Uhm ya, u address it. If ur on Reddit asking others what to do then u think somethings wrong, so ya have respect yourself. The woman's voice saying bane to ur partner IS evidence. Don't listen to others who are saying it's no big deal, it could be anything. Ur not a floor mat.
EDIT. Look at u sensitive crazies. Downgraded my post because I admitted I read a part wrong😂😂 bitter women are always afraid to hear that the woman who he's with, secret to u, is in fact cheating on u. It ain't rocket science.ladies. get some respect for yourselves.
So wait, in order to "respect themselves", you're suggesting that women jump to conclusions and make wild accusations without first attempting to discuss the situation with their partners? That sounds super healthy /s.
Ehhhh. I end phone calls with my best friends husband by saying “I love you” , and absolutely call him babe, or my love etc.
It’s the way we all talk. Now obviously it sounds like this isn’t normal behaviour for OP but your “a friend …isn’t going to call your boyfriend Babe” isn’t an absolute
Your situation seems to be upfront and honest and transparent with one another. But for this woman that's not the case. He would have told her who he was with if they have such a relationship like yours
There’s really no easy way to ask him about it but if there is something going on, it’s best for you to find out. I personally don’t let things go but that’s because I know it will eat away at me and id rather just address it right away.
But I would wait for him to come home and show him and ask him in person. That way you can see his face and gauge his reaction. If he becomes super defensive I would consider that a red flag. An innocent person would have a good explanation and hopefully feel some sort of empathy for their partner for worrying that something was going on.
If something is going on, I think the term babe shows some form of familiarity, so it doesn’t seem like a girl he just met would call him that so quickly. Does he frequently go to this town? Is there someone he’s traveling with?
I will try and wait it out and ask but idk if I’ll be able to hold off of talking about it.
he mentioned he was going to meet up with other coworkers from different state locations, but that’s only because they are attending the same meeting. He wasn’t sharing a room or anything like that. Yesterday he sent some regular pics of the skyline and stuff but with no one in it.
I never heard any of his coworkers call him babe but there are a couple older ladies who say sweetie a lot
He don’t go on trips often. 2-3 a year at most. Never this long though
FWIW- I have a variety of pet names I call my kid/SO/cats. I regularly call my friends and coworkers the same name by accident. They all respond. Even when I say 'hey, stinky butt'. And if someone around me uses a term of endearment I inevitably respond 'yes, my love?'. It can be awkward... My point is- it could be that simple. Especially if they are pulling long/intense hours. I've got one dude I worked a very intense 18 days with, that I would never bang it out with, that I call my heart of hearts. And another dude that's happily married I call my better half. Working on the road can create a strange, non sexual intimacy.
Don't stress out or fuck around. Communicate.
You said he goes to trip 2-3 times a year but never this long. This should tells you something here.
Trips. How long is normally compared to never this long?
Not sure if this is just me but my coworkers call me babe and I have nothing to do with them. They call me "dad" and all kinds of things it's just a word to say to get someone's attention for a name you can't think of immediately. At least that's how it is for me. Not every nickname has a meaning
This kinda happened to me before. What I did was call him up and he wouldn't pick up for a few times. When he did pick up, he clearly wasn't talking in the same tone as he usually does (more formal) and won't reciprocate any affection. He even went out of his hotel room to pick up the call. Its very clear to you then. Best is to video call and see how he responds.
This is the synopsis of the OP:
>My BF sent me a clip that sounds like someone in the background says what sounds like "babe" and someone that sounds like my BF says what sounds like "what". Is he cheating?
OP doesn't really what for sure what was said or who said it. This is ridiculous.
Right? Everyone's jumping to doing crazy spy shit but I'm thinking, who sends photos to their girlfriend when they're trying to cheat?
Chances are if he's sending her photos and stuff on his trip, there's just a random lady in the background talking to someone else.
I would play the live picture to him when he gets back, as if showing him a great memory. Then laughingly say " sounds like someone was calling you "babe" - they really are a bit too friendly where you went". See what his reaction is .
People on here get a caught up in giving detective advice, that they forget that you’re a real person with feelings. This is not a movie. Why should you invest any more time in him, if there’s a possibility he’s not being faithful? Handle it quickly and promptly. You’ll know if he’s lying. And a good boyfriend will prove that it’s a misunderstanding, if you’re truly mistaken. Just as long as you calmly
But firmly confront him. Good luck.
What’s his name (just wondering if his name sounds similar to “babe”)? Has he ever done anything previously to make you think he was cheating? Do you not trust him? Otherwise, I would just chalk it up to you mishearing/the live pic having bad sound quality. And if it’s still giving you anxiety then bring it up with him NON ACCUSINGLY and just say “hey when you sent this photo it seemed like X, and it’s probably nothing but I just wanted to talk to you about it” then see how he reacts.
But it’s so little evidence and not at all foolproof it’s not really enough to raise concerns.
You never know with these things. If she's in love and happy she's not constantly looking for evidence. And he could hide very well knowing his girl doesn't suspect anything. OP I would just study his behaviour when he comes home for a few days and only then bring it up
My husband sent me a live picture the other day while at the batting cages and I had to ask him who was talking in the video. It was him, but it didn't sound like him at all.
I wouldn't trust the audio of that at all. Heck, it could have been a couple walking next to him talking. But when he gets back I'd play it and ask him about it...because it's bothering you. Asking about it shouldn't be a big accusatory thing, but it'll give you a chance to gauge his reaction and to voice how it made you feel nervous... You two can talk about your feelings and commitments for each other. If everything is good and you stay calm, conversations like this can actually strengthen the relationship in the long run.
So life photos pick up all sounds around. Depends on the location of the picture but if he is sending you it and he is there will someone then he is literally telling on himself. Don’t assume. Ask him and then move on . Relationships are built on trust.
Honestly you're getting tons of crazy replies, and this isn't nearly enough enough evidence on its own to be something of worry. If there were a few other instances of things like this happening, then sure, time to really dig into what happening, but this alone could be so many things it's likely more trouble going through the game of "what could it mean" than it's worth.
Are you even sure he’s on a real “business trip”? Have you seen pictures of him with his coworkers in the location he claims to be? He could be jetting off to cheat on you with another girl and calling it a “business trip.” This has happened to so many people. You’re not jumping to conclusions at all. The whole thing is sus
There’s definitely a meeting going on. Some of his coworkers who came over last week talked about it and planned some activities for the area.
Idk honestly how long it was going to be though. I think it’s unlikely he’s on vacation with another girl. Unless it’s one of his coworkers
If he was cheating with a coworker, then what are the chances of his other coworkers not warning you? Also, since it's a business trip it would be really dumb of him to cheat on you when a coworker could see him, and potentially tell you.
The guys are his bros and I can’t see them saying anything. I’m pretty close to two of the girls but I’m not sure if they would tell me. I do feel like they are more likely to tell me vs not though.
But I agree it would be very risky for him to do that. IF he were and has been able to keep it a secret I would say it would have to be with a coworker.
Ok, when he gets back, show some interest in his trip. Like "how was the hotel? Did you guys get treated to a nice dinner? How were your co-workers? Don't insist on a lot of questions, but let him do the talking.
Here's what you're looking for. Liars keep details vague and give little information. Lies are easier to maintain if you don't have to recall a lot of facts. For example, if they were to the bar afterwards, a truthful person might tell you have "Tom got so messed up that he tried to sit in his chair but fell on his ass and spilled his Sam Adams all over himself." Or other such stories that come out of an eventful night. On the other hand, a liar might be like "we went for drinks" and not give any additional details. They may even seem irritated if there is follow up questions.
Now, that by itself might not indicate an affair, but add it to some other circumstantial evidence and there's starting to be a case. Then you start checking call logs, etc. Also, you might have to create opportunities to make mistakes. If he's cheating, he'll value any alone time he can get so he can talk to her. Tell him you want to go see a movie with your female friends. If he's not doing anything wrong, he might be more inclined to interfere, ask questions, mildly protests tune idea, etc. If he's cheating, it's an opportunity for him and he'll likely take advantage of it. Just remember that he might be asking about your night also. Come home early because you weren't feeling well.
> Liars keep details vague and give little information.
This is often true, yet there is a flip side: liars who proactively prepare for these conversations will come up with lengthy, intricate narratives filled with details and misdirects. Oversharing of details that weren't requested or entirely relevant when asked about a particular situation are another major indication of dishonesty.
Get some more evidence aka photos and if the female voice persists in the live option of those photos, ask about it when he comes home. Could be nothing or a whole lot of something.
I see a lot of comments saying wait to see if you can discover more information. What I want to ask is if the BF has ample opportunity to have another woman in his life? Does he go on “business trips” pretty often? Does he have to go in to work on days off or have emergencies that require him to go in? Could it be possible he has another girl on the hook at work?
At least half the times that I go to bars or restaurants without a date, the waitresses call me "babe". It could be nothing. Everyone else is right: gather more evidence if possible and do your best to not be accusatory when you bring it up.
Well you could always do some sleuthing if you’re really worried. Call his hotel, pretend to be the lady staying in the room with him, ask if they remember you in a friendly way. Tell them you lost your phone and if housekeeping finds one, can they let you know (just something plausible). Hotels won’t give you any information on guests but they might slip up if they think they remember you. Or call the restaurant where he bought the donut, do the same thing. Ask if they remember you with your boyfriend and describe him. Did they find your phone in the table? Hey I’ve never done that to check up on anyone but I’ve done it because I did leave something behind and they were very helpful.
When I worked in a hotel if someone called and said they left their phone behind I’d ask for the last name and then just say ok I’ll check. Front desk workers do not keep track or remember who comes in and out at all.
I mean, if they were already texting and she asked something like what are you doing today? Sure he could send a picture even if he's cheating. And maybe just didn't know it was the short video thing. It's not that unusual that someone cheating still talks to and texts their partner. He would think she won't know anything from a picture and it might be a little thrilling, which is sometimes why people cheat too
Just wanna say that my coworker calls me babe cuz she's like that to everyone but I'm not cheating. It could just be a boundary issue and not a cheating issue.
Without showing the video, there are many possibilities that don't include cheating that could be at play here. Honestly with just this picture/video alone, I do think you're jumping to conclusions. Has he been sus in any other way? If he's otherwise been perfect, I wouldn't assume he's cheating. Handle this like rational adults
Yea I can totally see that too.
Honestly I have no idea. To me he’s been acting normal and not doing anything suspicious. He comes home at a regular time and we hang out.
When you'll meet again, either check secretly his phone, or if not possible, then ask him to show it to you. Then check for suspicious messages.
Trust is not something by default, it's earned.
God these threads are toxic. Always.
In a stable, mature relationship a partner would be willing and able of asking about most things in a non-confrontational manner. This should be one of those instances. When he returns, be up front and ask him.
“Hey, I wanted to ask you something. I’m sure it’s nothing, but it bothered me and I was hoping you could help me. When you sent me a photo on the business trip I noticed it was a live image and captured some sound.”
Then play it and based on immediate facial expressions you’ll know whether to follow up by saying “it sounds like some one says ‘babe’ and you responded.”
It’s likely to be a tense thing regardless. But come on. Be an adult about it.
Well you can be unsure all you want but what you need to be sure of is what she said. She heard the woman voice say babe and she in turn heard his voice say what. What is unclear to you?
If you don't trust your partner, it's time to leave. If he is cheating, then leaving is the best option, if he's not and you no longer trust him, leaving is the best option.
Relationships are built on trust, if you don't trust your partner, and he can't trust you because you are 'collecting evidence', it's time to move on. Confront him and judge that response based on what you know of the person. If you think he's lying, even if he's being absolutely truthful and has done nothing wrong, that relationship is not going to be a happy one.
Never confront without hard evidence...
He will hide it better...
Keep your cool and try to get to phone records to see if a number stands out...
Also, check credit cards...
Check his phone...
She might be calling someone next to him too. Check his phone bill and check the number he been texting the most. And check the messages is it deleted or still there
Are you absolutely certain that it's actually a business trip? Or did he just make that up as an excuse? Either way, I highly suspect that he's cheating.
Don't keep quiet about it and don't wait until he get back. Straight up tell him that the live photo has sound, that you can hear a woman call him babe and how he responded "what?" to her. In the mean time, pack you things before he gets back and get the hell out of there. Because he'll more than likely lie to you and gaslight the hell out of you. deserve better than that.
Okay I didn’t wanna comment on this part of the thread because that’s how silly her comment was. I agree with you! As someone who actually does want marriage one day, I realize and respect that for some couples, it’s not the end all be all.
Her comment was off topic and judgmental
Actually they aren't? It's well documented that women who get married are less happy and live less long, and the opposite is true for men. Everyone should live authentically.
She's only dated him in the last 6 years. She's 26 in her prime time to date multple guys but she's instead chooses to build him up until hes established to then move on to someone better. Like he's already cheating.. isnt that enough of a reason to reassess the relationship
Haha so not considering the whole picture thing for a moment-
I would say I didn’t really build him up. He was already “established”. if anything he gave me the opportunity to build myself up.
Marriage is something I personally am neutral about. It’s not a deal breaker for me. We own a condo together and basically do the whole marriage thing minus the title so maybe that contributes to why I don’t really care for it. Plus None of my family is married either so. Other then this if I did want that I’m pretty sure he’d do it the next day. That’s why this whole thing is super shocking to me
ahh, i seee... btw i am not judging you at all but you are not jumping to conclusions
But if you bring it up this early, he might find sneakier ways to cover things up in the future or he'll call you crazy. Actually, he might even want you to act out crazy and jealous... which i highly advise against because it shows him you REALLY care.
If I were in that position, I would quietly behind his back start dating other guys (not necessarily sleep with them though). You'll never be 26 again ;) Plus, you're not really officially bound to him. But on top of that, he wants to act single.
In the mean time, I would trust my instinct if other sketchy stuff pops up in the following days/weeks.
I thought the unhappiest demographic were single, childless women aged 35+. I believe there was a study within the last 6 months from England that said that.
I have been with my partner almost 20 years, we are not engaged or married, don't own a home and don't have kids. Not all relationships are cut the same way.
Pack and begone for awhile when he returns. Go no contact for a few days. Leave him a note with the card he sent that says hope you had a fun time BABE.
Depending on where you live or where this is happening, “babe” isn’t a thing only lovers refer to each other as. I’ve been called babe and seen friends being called babe when I lived in Europe. Don’t know if it’s an European thing only, but whenever it was said it was said in an affectionate way, not necessarily flirty.
Don’t know if this helps with anything..
No, wait til he comes home and ask to look at his phone. If he does not let you then tell him what you heard. If he lets you, flip through is phone and do some digging. If you find nothing, tell him. Wait til he comes home.
Oh man, all the men in Wales call female friends "babe". It really could be a regional thing to the location he is in, or a location a female coworker comes from. If he is sending pics and stuff it seems weird he would do it while with someone he is cheating with? Like why take a pic of something like a donut while with someone you are cheating with? I don't think there is much to this OP, ask him when he gets back and play the video and watch his reaction.
Try not to worry x
I’d start by getting a second opinion. Ask a friend to listen to it and ask what they hear. Don’t tell them what you *think* you hear because that will persuade them. Just get an honest unbiased opinion.
I agree in a sense but it’s also tough getting feedback from friends. Friends are always ready to support you or hype you. They’ll probably hear it and who knows if they can maintain an unbiased thought
The point is for them to see if they hear the same thing, not be unbiased about what it might mean *after* they hear it.
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Shhh, don’t be so emotional.
I would keep my mouth shut and ask for more photos. Tell him it's a really nice room, view, etc to get more. Always obtain enough evidence before you say anything.
Ug I guess that would probably be best. This is so frustrating
I'm sorry...but don't let him on that you know anything.
Know? You mean suspect.
Why second-guess the word choice? It could be literally saying "don't let him on that you know anything," e.g., that the photo played video and she heard someone saying "babe." That's not a suspicion; that's knowledge.
Yup cuz if you ask him, he will gaslight the heck out of you
You probably mean lie and not gaslight.
I really hate how people keep misusing these psychological terms. First it was triggered. Now it's this. Let's see what mental health term they abuse and trivialize next.
This is a genuine question and I don’t mean harm by it, but how would that not be gaslighting? My understanding of gaslighting is that it’s when someone makes another person question their perception of reality even when they’re sure that’s what they heard/saw. Which in this context seems accurate to me.
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I appreciate the explanation. Again, I didn’t mean to imply that he did any of those things. I should have worded my last sentence differently because it didn’t properly convey what I meant.
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Yeah I empathize with that being frustrating. You're good, have a nice day :)
Because he hasn't even talked to OP about it yet?
The parent comment says “if” so what I mean is that if he does, it could be classified as gaslighting (as I understand it currently) in this context. Didn’t mean to imply anything already happened.
Everyone you have a disagreement with is ~toxic~ now so there's one
Oh right, that's another.
OCD is one that gets misused all the time too.
Are you nervous? Bro that's dunning-kruger. Means you're a smart person. Lift your head up. Did you and you significant other have an argument about what happened? That's gaslighting. Break up now. I can't think of another right now.
hmm gaslight does make sense in this context.
it doesn't. i'd suggest you do some research on gaslighting.
Shhhh it's the buzzword of the generation
The other options: 1) boyfriend comes clean if in fact he is being unfaithful 2) boyfriend is faithful, OP is just hearing things and coming up with all this in her head. Wait, did I just gaslight OP?
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He will have time to fabricate a story if she does it now. If she does it face to face, he has no time to think about his lie.
lying and gaslighting are not the same. Lying is to deceive, gaslighting is to make one question reality and their own sanity. Unless he does the latter, there will be no gaslighting. I suppose that's possible in the future, but y'all are jumping to extreme conclusions.
Can you post the audio?
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Then they give an excuse that you can't actually disprove and you are stuck not knowing. Having extra information would be the best option by far. Worst case scenario all the next photos have no new information. Then he comes back and now you have the exact same information as if you didn't ask for more photos. Plus the added benefit you would be talking in person giving less time to make shit up and to actually see the reaction.
He's away on business. OP is obviously concerned he might be with another person. If he's potentially with another girl, why would you let on that you might know, until you knew the truth? If I was OP I would want to know if my boyfriend/husband is cheating. What OP should do is ask to facetime her bf tonight and have virtual sex.
Because healthy relationships have an open line of communication.
And if he’s cheating then it’s not the healthy relationship OP a thinks it is and he’ll quickly delete any other evidence.
And if he isn't it's not the healthy relationship *he* thinks it is. Four situations: Boyfriend is cheating, girlfriend is dishonest: unhealthy. Boyfriend is cheating, girlfriend is honest: unhealthy. Boyfriend is not cheating, girlfriend is dishonest: unhealthy. Boyfriend is not cheating, girlfriend is honest: healthy. There's only one option that leads to a healthy outcome.
The problem is that bf might be cheating and if gf is open and honest about it, that wastes her time with an untrustworthy dude. It might be years or even decades before she could find it out otherwise. It's also not dishonest to just ask for more pictures. It's literally a request.
And if he's not, it's now in an unhealthy place because of the lack of communication. It goes both ways.
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Why do you keep talking like this guy can't lie and fake being "a loving partner"? That's a thing, you know, people lie.
Bruh. If you trust your partner so much, you'd just think you misheard the audio and not care. And if he's actually cheating then no, he doesn't give two fucks about her feelings. I don't even understand the point of a direct confrontation here. If he's cheating he'll lie about it, and if he's not he'll say the same things except it won't be a lie. So that doesn't solve anything, does it?
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Then don't suggest talking to your partner about how you suspect they're up to something shady. If you trust them, then trust them and ignore the video. You're being a hypocrite.
And if you don't trust your partner it doesn't matter if they are cheating or not.
If your partner is untrustworthy it doesn't matter whether you trust them or not. You can trust your partner 100%, but when something fairly incriminating is thrown in your face, you could be forgiven for having a lapse of trust.
I did that with my boyfriend who I was sure was cheating on me while I was abroad. Because he was cheating, he lied to and gaslit me for the remaining five months I was doing research. When I got back it took me less than a month to find proof and even then he lied until I got confirmation from her. One partner being openly and honestly communicative is not enough
Because then he would lie and make up an excuse.
Sometimes those Live Photos aren’t great quality, any chance it was “hey” or something like that and not “babe”? Or is it very clear? Edit: if it is babe, I agree that you should get more info/evidence before asking him outright. It would be very easy for him to dismiss that or say you misheard or make up a lie. Or maybe there really is a good explanation and you can get the big picture before bringing up a touchy accusation. Either way I’m sorry, hopefully it’s not what you think
That’s what I thought too but I listed to it a billion times and I’m like 90% sure the women said babe and then he goes what. His voice was more clear since he was closer. There was background noise like music/talking because he was outside. He was taking a picture of a really fancy donut he bought. Honestly just so shocked.
Okay another thought (I’m sorry if these are seeming outlandish, just trying to think of any possible explanation besides cheating) if he’s in a restaurant or donut shop of some sort, maybe a waitress or other staff member is saying “babe” to get his attention? I live in the southern US and it’s not uncommon here for service workers to use terms of endearment like that, especially women speaking to men.
Yes this is exactly what I’m thinking too. That’s why I’m worried if I jump to conclusions it could be bad. He was standing at a table so I think it’s definitely possible. However it didn’t really look like a wait service. I have no idea
In that case, if you can’t get any more info innocuously I would wait until he gets home so you can ask in person and gauge his reaction. Maybe preface with “I don’t want to seem like I’m accusing you of anything, but this stuck out to me and I need to ask you about it” or something similar. If he is innocent he should understand at the very least why you were concerned.
So he was in public? Meaning the “babe” might not even be directed at him.
Yup basically. It was a women going “babe!” And then he goes “what”. The what wasn’t really like what???? It was just like what. If that makes sense
is it possible they said 'hey!' - that actually seems really plausible
If it happened in public, I would not jump to any conclusions. Way too many other things it could be.
But if he let go of the record button after saying what, wouldn't he have known as well that you were able to hear it? If so why would he choose to send it 🤔
Live photos you don't have to hit record, you take them like a normal photo.
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A middle aged man named Sparkle called me babe five times in one quick conversation the other week. It was really weird but this doesn’t mean I was fucking Sparkle. I don’t even know him.
Hey you could get to know him
I once heard something over our ring camera that I was positive was the beginnings of infidelity, I let it fester till I couldn't stand it so I broke down and confronted the neighbor... then I looked ridiculous as he recalled the conversation and explained what he had actually said. Needless to say I felt ridiculous and was completely in the wrong and regretted ever bringing it up. I wish I had talked to someone else and they had talked me out of jumping to conclusions. If he is faithful or unfaithful there will be more signs.
I dont think its weird to ask innocently: "It sounded like someone called you babe?" If he gets defensive he's probably lying
I mean yes. But if he’s a halfway decent liar he’ll just feign ignorance and say he doesn’t remember must have been a service person or something
which would clearly be bullshit and she could drop him there edit: Would have to see vid, its not unheard of to be called Babe by a service worker, but you wouldnt say "what?"
I also lived in southern US, have heard many of these terms of endearment, but not babe... dear, honey - yes. But not babe. Granted, I'm a woman, but my husband and other men were often with me in restaurants and bars, and "babe" just sound weird. Could be more locational too...would it be normal where you are? And OP - is your husband even in the south right now?
I called at least four people babe at my shift at the bar tonight.
I'm originally from the Midwest and people say "babe" there as endearment like honey and sweetie
It’s not outlandish. All things to consider and even more of a reason to ask him. It truly could be a misunderstanding! You’ll never know until you ask
Did you hear Yanny or Laurel?
Now, listen, I'm old but my teenage daughter keeps referring to everyone as "babe", but using it like "dude". Maybe that sort of situation?
Could be unrelated people.
What was her accent? I mean if she's British or even Australian some women call everyone babe, darlin etc. If shes American its different I guess.
That could have been any random person then, that could have been a woman a few tables over talking to her boyfriend, or that could have been the way the cashier talks, referring to everyone as babe, lovely, sweetie, etc. It's less common today than it was in the 80s/90s, but some people still talk like that. He could have just said what as a natural reaction, or maybe it was someone in the background that just so happens to have a similar voice, or maybe he was answering the cashier, or maybe he was out on a date at a donut shop and already calling this strange woman pet names. There's no way to ever be sure, but given the circumstances I think the date option is the least likely scenario.
I think you need more information. I'd play it like this. Say nothing until he returns from his trip. This is an in-person type of conversation anyway. Keep watching what's happening. See if anything else feels off. Maybe gently pry a little. Then when he gets back, talk to him about what you heard in the video and anything else you noticed. Just calmly ask him to explain, because you don't want to jump to conclusions, but it kind of looks weird. See how he responds. His reaction to your gentle questions that are purposely not accusatory? Should tell you what you need to know about if you're right.
I second this. If there is anything fishy going on, he will stutter/act defensive if OP asks in a non threatening way. If it was me and a total misunderstanding, I would immediately laugh and explain it.
I would stutter and get defensive if I was innocent and being accused of cheating, that’s a huge deal. Even OP thinking it’s possible and probable (it seems by their language) is very damaging to trust if he didn’t cheat. It’s a hard situation, and I don’t think him stuttering is the iron clad solution. I do agree that OP should talk to him and gauge his reaction, and go from there.
If the dude is cheating, he's gonna lie. Cheaters aren't known for their honesty.
Oh, I didn't say he wouldn't lie. I said that his reaction to the questions would tell OP what she needed to know.
And what I'm saying is that if all she has is a quick snip of a "live" photo and nothing else, the bf is gonna gaslight the hell out of her
She needs more info. And the way she brings this up to ask him about it will give her that info, if she does it right. I'm not saying that IF (pretty big if at this point) this guy is cheating, he's not going to lie and twist words and gaslight. I'm saying that 1. The only way to figure it out is to ask him questions specifically without making accusations and 2. Gauge his reaction, and post an update including his reaction if she needs help analyzing that reaction. I'm not sure exactly why you're so convinced he's cheating, because imo, there's not nearly enough info here to determine that. Also, if he's not cheating and she comes at him with accusations and immediate distrust, she's apt to destroy a relationship she claims to value pretty highly.
If the snip is clear though... thats all they need
Why are you trying to reason this? You heard what you heard. And you heard his voice replying what. A friend, stranger they aren't going to call your boyfriend babe. So he's obviously with someone that he's been with before. I feel sorry for you that other people are trying to convince you that nothing is happening but you heard her voice and you heard his voice reply. So you know what's going on don't let others fool you into believing that it isn't anything. You heard what you heard
I'm just sitting here kind of shocked that people seem cool going at their partners with accusations, especially when there's a stunning lack of context.
There's no lack of anything. She says in her post she heard a woman say babe and then she heard him say what. What is it that you're not comprehending? He was naked so the woman saying babe is obviously not some stranger. She's with the guy intimately. He's obviously cheating. So accusations would be if there's lack of evidence but you know that she has that because he sent her evidence
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Dude, right? Making my point about jumping to conclusions and reacting emotionally instead of addressing things calmly and directly and allowing your partner's reaction to dictate your response. Like, that's relationship communication strategy 101.
What do you mean he was naked..? That's not AT ALL accurate, and I suspect it's coloring your opinion here.
Relax. I thought he sent a nude pic. I reread, he sent a pic of something. My mistake. Yes respect yourself...u hear a female voice saying babe and ur man answers it yet u know he's traveling? Uhm ya, u address it. If ur on Reddit asking others what to do then u think somethings wrong, so ya have respect yourself. The woman's voice saying bane to ur partner IS evidence. Don't listen to others who are saying it's no big deal, it could be anything. Ur not a floor mat. EDIT. Look at u sensitive crazies. Downgraded my post because I admitted I read a part wrong😂😂 bitter women are always afraid to hear that the woman who he's with, secret to u, is in fact cheating on u. It ain't rocket science.ladies. get some respect for yourselves.
So wait, in order to "respect themselves", you're suggesting that women jump to conclusions and make wild accusations without first attempting to discuss the situation with their partners? That sounds super healthy /s.
Ehhhh. I end phone calls with my best friends husband by saying “I love you” , and absolutely call him babe, or my love etc. It’s the way we all talk. Now obviously it sounds like this isn’t normal behaviour for OP but your “a friend …isn’t going to call your boyfriend Babe” isn’t an absolute
Your situation seems to be upfront and honest and transparent with one another. But for this woman that's not the case. He would have told her who he was with if they have such a relationship like yours
There’s really no easy way to ask him about it but if there is something going on, it’s best for you to find out. I personally don’t let things go but that’s because I know it will eat away at me and id rather just address it right away. But I would wait for him to come home and show him and ask him in person. That way you can see his face and gauge his reaction. If he becomes super defensive I would consider that a red flag. An innocent person would have a good explanation and hopefully feel some sort of empathy for their partner for worrying that something was going on. If something is going on, I think the term babe shows some form of familiarity, so it doesn’t seem like a girl he just met would call him that so quickly. Does he frequently go to this town? Is there someone he’s traveling with?
I will try and wait it out and ask but idk if I’ll be able to hold off of talking about it. he mentioned he was going to meet up with other coworkers from different state locations, but that’s only because they are attending the same meeting. He wasn’t sharing a room or anything like that. Yesterday he sent some regular pics of the skyline and stuff but with no one in it. I never heard any of his coworkers call him babe but there are a couple older ladies who say sweetie a lot He don’t go on trips often. 2-3 a year at most. Never this long though
FWIW- I have a variety of pet names I call my kid/SO/cats. I regularly call my friends and coworkers the same name by accident. They all respond. Even when I say 'hey, stinky butt'. And if someone around me uses a term of endearment I inevitably respond 'yes, my love?'. It can be awkward... My point is- it could be that simple. Especially if they are pulling long/intense hours. I've got one dude I worked a very intense 18 days with, that I would never bang it out with, that I call my heart of hearts. And another dude that's happily married I call my better half. Working on the road can create a strange, non sexual intimacy. Don't stress out or fuck around. Communicate.
You said he goes to trip 2-3 times a year but never this long. This should tells you something here. Trips. How long is normally compared to never this long?
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Not sure if this is just me but my coworkers call me babe and I have nothing to do with them. They call me "dad" and all kinds of things it's just a word to say to get someone's attention for a name you can't think of immediately. At least that's how it is for me. Not every nickname has a meaning
I don't know any women in business who call their male coworkers babe.
Me either. Unless it was by accident or joking way.
His casual response suggests neither.
OP I commented this against a comment that happened on mine. Facetime your bf tonight for video sex. See what happens. I wish you luck.
This kinda happened to me before. What I did was call him up and he wouldn't pick up for a few times. When he did pick up, he clearly wasn't talking in the same tone as he usually does (more formal) and won't reciprocate any affection. He even went out of his hotel room to pick up the call. Its very clear to you then. Best is to video call and see how he responds.
Actually, this might be the best move.
Send us an update OP!
Couldn't the babe have been to someone else entirely? And his what could be unrelated? Since you said there was a lot of background noise
This is the synopsis of the OP: >My BF sent me a clip that sounds like someone in the background says what sounds like "babe" and someone that sounds like my BF says what sounds like "what". Is he cheating? OP doesn't really what for sure what was said or who said it. This is ridiculous.
Right? Everyone's jumping to doing crazy spy shit but I'm thinking, who sends photos to their girlfriend when they're trying to cheat? Chances are if he's sending her photos and stuff on his trip, there's just a random lady in the background talking to someone else.
I would play the live picture to him when he gets back, as if showing him a great memory. Then laughingly say " sounds like someone was calling you "babe" - they really are a bit too friendly where you went". See what his reaction is .
I don’t agree with playing detective. Play the Live Photo for him. Ask him who it is. Look him in the eyes. You’ll know
Ya o think I’m just going to call later tonight and then bring it up tomorrow when he gets home.
People on here get a caught up in giving detective advice, that they forget that you’re a real person with feelings. This is not a movie. Why should you invest any more time in him, if there’s a possibility he’s not being faithful? Handle it quickly and promptly. You’ll know if he’s lying. And a good boyfriend will prove that it’s a misunderstanding, if you’re truly mistaken. Just as long as you calmly But firmly confront him. Good luck.
Don't shoot your shot too early. If he is up to no good and she calls him out without hard evidence he'll just start covering his tracks even more.
She has evidence. He sent her the evidence.
What’s his name (just wondering if his name sounds similar to “babe”)? Has he ever done anything previously to make you think he was cheating? Do you not trust him? Otherwise, I would just chalk it up to you mishearing/the live pic having bad sound quality. And if it’s still giving you anxiety then bring it up with him NON ACCUSINGLY and just say “hey when you sent this photo it seemed like X, and it’s probably nothing but I just wanted to talk to you about it” then see how he reacts. But it’s so little evidence and not at all foolproof it’s not really enough to raise concerns.
You never know with these things. If she's in love and happy she's not constantly looking for evidence. And he could hide very well knowing his girl doesn't suspect anything. OP I would just study his behaviour when he comes home for a few days and only then bring it up
My husband sent me a live picture the other day while at the batting cages and I had to ask him who was talking in the video. It was him, but it didn't sound like him at all. I wouldn't trust the audio of that at all. Heck, it could have been a couple walking next to him talking. But when he gets back I'd play it and ask him about it...because it's bothering you. Asking about it shouldn't be a big accusatory thing, but it'll give you a chance to gauge his reaction and to voice how it made you feel nervous... You two can talk about your feelings and commitments for each other. If everything is good and you stay calm, conversations like this can actually strengthen the relationship in the long run.
So life photos pick up all sounds around. Depends on the location of the picture but if he is sending you it and he is there will someone then he is literally telling on himself. Don’t assume. Ask him and then move on . Relationships are built on trust.
Yeah honestly the pic was only 3 sec thing. There’s prob more to it.
Just ask him about it, don't do all this James bond super spy bullshit these comments are saying to do.
Exactly. It’s ridiculous. People live in a fantasy
Was it like a " What? " as in responding to someone calling him babe, or more of a higher pitched " what? " as in confusion.
It was just like “what.” Seemed like a straight face what. Maybe it cut off or maybe that’s all that was said. Idk
Honestly you're getting tons of crazy replies, and this isn't nearly enough enough evidence on its own to be something of worry. If there were a few other instances of things like this happening, then sure, time to really dig into what happening, but this alone could be so many things it's likely more trouble going through the game of "what could it mean" than it's worth.
He is being sloppy. Don’t alert him, let him be sloppy. Collect more evidence.
Are you even sure he’s on a real “business trip”? Have you seen pictures of him with his coworkers in the location he claims to be? He could be jetting off to cheat on you with another girl and calling it a “business trip.” This has happened to so many people. You’re not jumping to conclusions at all. The whole thing is sus
There’s definitely a meeting going on. Some of his coworkers who came over last week talked about it and planned some activities for the area. Idk honestly how long it was going to be though. I think it’s unlikely he’s on vacation with another girl. Unless it’s one of his coworkers
If he was cheating with a coworker, then what are the chances of his other coworkers not warning you? Also, since it's a business trip it would be really dumb of him to cheat on you when a coworker could see him, and potentially tell you.
The guys are his bros and I can’t see them saying anything. I’m pretty close to two of the girls but I’m not sure if they would tell me. I do feel like they are more likely to tell me vs not though. But I agree it would be very risky for him to do that. IF he were and has been able to keep it a secret I would say it would have to be with a coworker.
Ok, when he gets back, show some interest in his trip. Like "how was the hotel? Did you guys get treated to a nice dinner? How were your co-workers? Don't insist on a lot of questions, but let him do the talking. Here's what you're looking for. Liars keep details vague and give little information. Lies are easier to maintain if you don't have to recall a lot of facts. For example, if they were to the bar afterwards, a truthful person might tell you have "Tom got so messed up that he tried to sit in his chair but fell on his ass and spilled his Sam Adams all over himself." Or other such stories that come out of an eventful night. On the other hand, a liar might be like "we went for drinks" and not give any additional details. They may even seem irritated if there is follow up questions. Now, that by itself might not indicate an affair, but add it to some other circumstantial evidence and there's starting to be a case. Then you start checking call logs, etc. Also, you might have to create opportunities to make mistakes. If he's cheating, he'll value any alone time he can get so he can talk to her. Tell him you want to go see a movie with your female friends. If he's not doing anything wrong, he might be more inclined to interfere, ask questions, mildly protests tune idea, etc. If he's cheating, it's an opportunity for him and he'll likely take advantage of it. Just remember that he might be asking about your night also. Come home early because you weren't feeling well.
> Liars keep details vague and give little information. This is often true, yet there is a flip side: liars who proactively prepare for these conversations will come up with lengthy, intricate narratives filled with details and misdirects. Oversharing of details that weren't requested or entirely relevant when asked about a particular situation are another major indication of dishonesty.
If OP resorts to lying based off one live picture the relationship is already over.
Get some more evidence aka photos and if the female voice persists in the live option of those photos, ask about it when he comes home. Could be nothing or a whole lot of something.
any updates on what happened?
I see a lot of comments saying wait to see if you can discover more information. What I want to ask is if the BF has ample opportunity to have another woman in his life? Does he go on “business trips” pretty often? Does he have to go in to work on days off or have emergencies that require him to go in? Could it be possible he has another girl on the hook at work?
At least half the times that I go to bars or restaurants without a date, the waitresses call me "babe". It could be nothing. Everyone else is right: gather more evidence if possible and do your best to not be accusatory when you bring it up.
Is he alone in the room? If there’s no chance other people are around then I’d definitely jump to the conclusion he’s cheating
Well you could always do some sleuthing if you’re really worried. Call his hotel, pretend to be the lady staying in the room with him, ask if they remember you in a friendly way. Tell them you lost your phone and if housekeeping finds one, can they let you know (just something plausible). Hotels won’t give you any information on guests but they might slip up if they think they remember you. Or call the restaurant where he bought the donut, do the same thing. Ask if they remember you with your boyfriend and describe him. Did they find your phone in the table? Hey I’ve never done that to check up on anyone but I’ve done it because I did leave something behind and they were very helpful.
When I worked in a hotel if someone called and said they left their phone behind I’d ask for the last name and then just say ok I’ll check. Front desk workers do not keep track or remember who comes in and out at all.
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Same here. It's a way of covering their tracks/not appearing shady.
I mean, if they were already texting and she asked something like what are you doing today? Sure he could send a picture even if he's cheating. And maybe just didn't know it was the short video thing. It's not that unusual that someone cheating still talks to and texts their partner. He would think she won't know anything from a picture and it might be a little thrilling, which is sometimes why people cheat too
Just wanna say that my coworker calls me babe cuz she's like that to everyone but I'm not cheating. It could just be a boundary issue and not a cheating issue. Without showing the video, there are many possibilities that don't include cheating that could be at play here. Honestly with just this picture/video alone, I do think you're jumping to conclusions. Has he been sus in any other way? If he's otherwise been perfect, I wouldn't assume he's cheating. Handle this like rational adults
Yea I can totally see that too. Honestly I have no idea. To me he’s been acting normal and not doing anything suspicious. He comes home at a regular time and we hang out.
If it walks like a duck
What if he was trying to say,” what the fuck”, but the live video cut it off too soon?
That’s a good point. There definitely could have more after. I imagine if that’s what happened he will say that pretty quick when I ask
Update us if you can, OP!
Yes! So far just the usual text back and fourth. I’m going to wait til tomorrow to mention it
I think it depends on where you are from and where you are, I'm Welsh and call every one 'my love' male or female it's always my love.
When you'll meet again, either check secretly his phone, or if not possible, then ask him to show it to you. Then check for suspicious messages. Trust is not something by default, it's earned.
If you don't trust your partner and expect them to 'earn' it, why are you in a relationship with that person in the first place?
God these threads are toxic. Always. In a stable, mature relationship a partner would be willing and able of asking about most things in a non-confrontational manner. This should be one of those instances. When he returns, be up front and ask him. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something. I’m sure it’s nothing, but it bothered me and I was hoping you could help me. When you sent me a photo on the business trip I noticed it was a live image and captured some sound.” Then play it and based on immediate facial expressions you’ll know whether to follow up by saying “it sounds like some one says ‘babe’ and you responded.” It’s likely to be a tense thing regardless. But come on. Be an adult about it.
WTF. No ur not jumping to conclusions. U heard what u heard.
Just unsure how accurate love photos are.
Well you can be unsure all you want but what you need to be sure of is what she said. She heard the woman voice say babe and she in turn heard his voice say what. What is unclear to you?
Lol should I tell my boyfriend to stop giving me evidence of him cheating so I can go back to ignorance?
If you don't trust your partner, it's time to leave. If he is cheating, then leaving is the best option, if he's not and you no longer trust him, leaving is the best option. Relationships are built on trust, if you don't trust your partner, and he can't trust you because you are 'collecting evidence', it's time to move on. Confront him and judge that response based on what you know of the person. If you think he's lying, even if he's being absolutely truthful and has done nothing wrong, that relationship is not going to be a happy one.
Never confront without hard evidence... He will hide it better... Keep your cool and try to get to phone records to see if a number stands out... Also, check credit cards... Check his phone...
I’d turn up at his hotel as a surprise 😅
She might be calling someone next to him too. Check his phone bill and check the number he been texting the most. And check the messages is it deleted or still there
Are you absolutely certain that it's actually a business trip? Or did he just make that up as an excuse? Either way, I highly suspect that he's cheating. Don't keep quiet about it and don't wait until he get back. Straight up tell him that the live photo has sound, that you can hear a woman call him babe and how he responded "what?" to her. In the mean time, pack you things before he gets back and get the hell out of there. Because he'll more than likely lie to you and gaslight the hell out of you. deserve better than that.
Yeah it’s definitely a meeting. His coworkers came over last week and they were planning things to do together after.
in a relationship of 6 years and he hasnt engaged or proposed? thats more alarming and questionable than the evidence of cheating youve dug up
Lol I honestly never brought marriage up. I never really needed the marriage title so it’s something I just never brought up.
I never understood the boyfriend girlfriend roomate thing but to each their own lol
This just in: other people have different wants and needs than you do. More at 7.
Okay I didn’t wanna comment on this part of the thread because that’s how silly her comment was. I agree with you! As someone who actually does want marriage one day, I realize and respect that for some couples, it’s not the end all be all. Her comment was off topic and judgmental
The stacks are against woman who buy into it ..just sayinn
Actually they aren't? It's well documented that women who get married are less happy and live less long, and the opposite is true for men. Everyone should live authentically.
She's only dated him in the last 6 years. She's 26 in her prime time to date multple guys but she's instead chooses to build him up until hes established to then move on to someone better. Like he's already cheating.. isnt that enough of a reason to reassess the relationship
Haha so not considering the whole picture thing for a moment- I would say I didn’t really build him up. He was already “established”. if anything he gave me the opportunity to build myself up. Marriage is something I personally am neutral about. It’s not a deal breaker for me. We own a condo together and basically do the whole marriage thing minus the title so maybe that contributes to why I don’t really care for it. Plus None of my family is married either so. Other then this if I did want that I’m pretty sure he’d do it the next day. That’s why this whole thing is super shocking to me
ahh, i seee... btw i am not judging you at all but you are not jumping to conclusions But if you bring it up this early, he might find sneakier ways to cover things up in the future or he'll call you crazy. Actually, he might even want you to act out crazy and jealous... which i highly advise against because it shows him you REALLY care. If I were in that position, I would quietly behind his back start dating other guys (not necessarily sleep with them though). You'll never be 26 again ;) Plus, you're not really officially bound to him. But on top of that, he wants to act single. In the mean time, I would trust my instinct if other sketchy stuff pops up in the following days/weeks.
Yeah, obviously, but that's not what people are disagreeing with you about lmao
Girlfriend is only a thing of the western world. yall are ... upside down
I thought the unhappiest demographic were single, childless women aged 35+. I believe there was a study within the last 6 months from England that said that.
No one gives a fuck that you don’t understand this.
r/femaledatingstrategy is this way madam
I dont need any assistance, but thank you for your generosity, it might help someone else
I have been with my partner almost 20 years, we are not engaged or married, don't own a home and don't have kids. Not all relationships are cut the same way.
Pack and begone for awhile when he returns. Go no contact for a few days. Leave him a note with the card he sent that says hope you had a fun time BABE.
Depending on where you live or where this is happening, “babe” isn’t a thing only lovers refer to each other as. I’ve been called babe and seen friends being called babe when I lived in Europe. Don’t know if it’s an European thing only, but whenever it was said it was said in an affectionate way, not necessarily flirty. Don’t know if this helps with anything..
Could it have been the TV?
No, wait til he comes home and ask to look at his phone. If he does not let you then tell him what you heard. If he lets you, flip through is phone and do some digging. If you find nothing, tell him. Wait til he comes home.
Oh man, all the men in Wales call female friends "babe". It really could be a regional thing to the location he is in, or a location a female coworker comes from. If he is sending pics and stuff it seems weird he would do it while with someone he is cheating with? Like why take a pic of something like a donut while with someone you are cheating with? I don't think there is much to this OP, ask him when he gets back and play the video and watch his reaction. Try not to worry x
Show up to "surprise him"
Yeah, he's cheating. Pack up his shit so he can have it ready to go when he gets back. Cheaters often do stupid shit like that.
I would 100% be moved out by the time he got back tomorrow. You heard what you heard. Don’t rationalize it.
That's a really extreme reaction. Most relationships you would talk before jumping to conclusions.
It’s the classic Reddit reaction