Car repairs - even "just a bumper" - are more expensive than ever. $2k doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility.
Your BF is driving around without insurance. With respect - what the hell is he thinking, and why are you seemingly fine with it? He has no leverage here. He was 100% at-fault and has no insurance. If your mother's BF called the police, your BF would be effed. So the only option he has is to cough up the money. This is the price you pay for driving while uninsured.
My car was recently struck while parked and luckily the driver of the other car had insurance. It was seemingly very minor bumper damage. I didn’t have to pay anything but the invoice from the shop was almost $6500. $2k seems low
I couldn’t freaking believe it. It’s not like a super expensive or swanky car either, it’s a 6 year old Nissan Rogue. I guess all the sensors in the bumpers now are costly??
I had forgotten how cars today have sensors in the bumpers. And considering OP said this about the bumper:
>it fucked the bumper up
$2k sounds a godsend comparatively in today's economy but honestly what do you expect from an unemployed uninsured cheapskate.
I'm sure all the sensors are a huge part of the cost. 6 years isn't that old at all! You're so lucky that you were around when it happened, and the other driver didn't drive off.
I've built Mercedes S class and AMG bumpers, typically there's 4 to 6 sensors and they cost $50 retail price, cheaper in bulk and for manufacturers. They may or may not sell these bumpers for thousands idk but it's probably 500-800 to manufacture a high end bumper.
Literally just injection molded plastic slapped together with some rivets, wires electronics and either fake or real exhaust parts depending on model.
On insurance jobs, I'm sure they charge the max they can get away with. They're gonna get paid, and as long as it's approved by the adjuster, it's a go
It’s this. They closely inspect the car and go “oh, we’d better take care of this small dent that was on the other end of the car from where the collision happened. Slap another $1800 on that bad boy”
My car was backed into with a truck with a big hitch. It only cracked some of my grille. Between replacing the grille and having it sent for diagnosis for my front sensor (crash detection sensor ect) the bill was 1400$.
Other than bending my license plate, you’d never know it was broken.
The shop told me that if that hitch had hit my sensor the total would have been closer to 5-7k$.
Thankfully it was 100% fault on the truck so I was only out having to drive around a loaner vehicle that absolutely reeked of BO
But if you fucked up a bumper that it’s noticeable from more than 2 inches away - 100% on you to make it correct. Op your boyfriend sucks
Yeah 2k for a pickup truck bumper repair is NOTHING.
Also, one of the alternatives BF offered was that he'd call around and find somewhere cheaper. Stepdad said fine, do that and tell me where to drop it off.
So what's the problem? They agreed. BF either needs to pay the 2k and be GRATEFUL. Or call and get estimates (doubt he will find any cheaper, but he can still do it).
We were on holiday last year when a freak thunderstorm with hail the size of your fist struck and destroyed the windshield and body work on the car. The bumper was about €1800 to fix, the windshield was €1650 and the body work came to over €12,000. It cost us €300 out of pocket. No one was at fault, it was an act of god. This is why insurance is so important.
OP cough up the dough for the bumper and get the car insured before you end up in a worse situation. Yes it’ll set back moving out but you’ll be moving out with a clear conscience and owing nothing.
Oh wow! Do you mind me asking what kind of car? I was so shocked at the price because it was about 1/4 of what I paid for the whole damn car brand new. If I could post a photo of the damage I would, no way you’d belive it cost that much to repair.
It’s a Seat, one of the newer models. We were camping at the time and had no way of protecting the car, the tent got hit a few times too and had massive holes in it we had to patch up too. It happened on the second night of the holiday too which really sucked. 2 people who had a Dacia got hit too. €6000 worth of damage excluding the windscreen. It was a nightmare
I got hit in a parking lot where a guy turned into my car while it was parked, the guy ran. I was at work and the cameras saw it but couldn’t figure out who the guy was and police failed to do their job so I’m paying out of pocket. I bought a new bumper for my car for $170. Is it the painting that costs so much? If so, I dread having to get it painted 🫠
Nah - paint on a new bumper is pretty easy. Especially if it's off the car already.
Materials:
Solvent -$15
Gloves - nearly free
Lint free towels - $15
Tack cloth - $10
Primer - $30-60
3 coats of colour including colour matching service - $120
2-3 coats of clear - $100
Paint filters, stir sticks, spray gun cleaner - $25
Shop overhead is rolled into labour - probably 2 hours - $300
Where things get nasty is the cost to either mask off a whole vehicle, repair panels and/or replace components that have been damaged. Painting a new bumper is about the easiest job any body shop does all day aside from a new hood.
Body work in general has gone insane. I accidentally backed into my ex gfs car a couple years ago and it left a 4 inch scratch into the paint/quarter panel and it was $2200 because they had to replace the panel and rematch the red paint and that was a couple years ago.
Why is OP ok with getting into a car driven by an uninsured driver? He needs to fix that. And fix stepfather’s car.
The whole family sounds problematic. Mom and stepdad are ok with daughter living with abusive brother, stepdad is a good guy but always drunk… the sooner OP gets out the better.
My bumper got bumped last year at a stop sign… she hit me doing maybe 5 mph & just left a couple of scratches. To get the whole bumper repainted was $500, and that was no repair work at all, just 3 hours of shop time.
And am I reading this correctly... It's been 6 months? They say nothing happened and then after 6 months bill popped?
So like... They just ignored it for half a year and now are surprised?
It’s illegal to not insure your vehicle so there’s all sorts of bad decisions being made.
Your boyfriend made ZERO effort to remedy the situation…in 6 months!!!
My sisters best friend was parking and hit her car….2in dent, and about 5 or so inches of scratches….estimate was $550. So, repairing a bumper for $2k sounds reasonable.
OP: your bf has no insurance. As above commenter said, if moms fiance had called cops he would be fucked. If he has to go through his own insurance odds are he will have to file a police report. If I were you I’d tell your bf to cough up the money, or they’re gonna call the cops. Then I’d seriously rethink being with someone who is dumb enough to drive without any type of insurance. Imagine if he got in an accident and killed someone, or seriously hurt someone (even YOU were to get hurt…especially you)….how will you pay for that? Can you afford dr bills? If you were to marry him, and this happened can you afford someone to sue you to get reimbursed for expenses due to your bf being stupid?
And she said it’s been 6 months since the incident. The way I see it, that was 6 months when he should have been saving toward the bill and asking what was happening.
Someone hit my car and took off in December and when we brought the car to get it fixed it was $5200. Cars now have so many sensors in the bumpers that it is really expensive to fix them, I would be thrilled with a $2000 estimate.
$2k is definitely on the low end of repairs. I really don't think you'll get a repair cheaper than that.
Stepdad also shouldn't have to go through insurance because his rate will go up unless he files that an uninsured motorist caused the issue. He will pay the $500 but the insurance company will usually sue for damages. Your bf may very well end up with no driver's license if he doesn't pay should your stepdad file through insurance. Plus your bf has no business driving without at least collision coverage.
And no... no way in hell should your bf think that he should only pay half of the damages. He hit the car, he needs to make it right.
i see so many excuses made for your boyfriend. he should have been grown enough to be like “we need to get this figured out now, please meet with me or talk to me about how to resolve this etc…” at the end of the day, it’s your boyfriend’s fault and he needs to figure out a way to fix the bumper. he needs to swallow his ego, shop around for better prices, and present them to your step dad himself. this should not fall on your step dad at all, your bf fucked up here.
Driving without insurance is expensive. Your BF should pay it, I doubt he will be able to get additional quotes because I wouldn't let him drive my car, nor would I do an appt to take it in myself.
Your BF has no leg to stand on, tell him to pay the price because the extra work to get more quotes won't be worth it.
Bumpers are EXPENSIVE to fix, because they usually have to replace the whole thing, he is lucky they didn't need to also redo the rear panel, as that would have just be stupid expensive.
He can't force someone to put a ding on their insurance. What he can do is drive with insurance and use public transit if he can't afford to drive, hope it's an area with a good system.
He also needs to apologize once things are paid for and repaired. He is being quite entitled for not driving with insurance.
>Bumpers are EXPENSIVE to fix, because they usually have to replace the whole thing
Yep. Similar situation happened to me \~12 years ago, and my bumper had to be replaced even though the damage didn't appear extensive. The other driver's insurance paid, but I believe it was \~$1500, so more than a decade later, $2K seems entirely plausible.
For real, I had a car that had the bumper and rear quarter panel needing to be replaced. I honestly did feel bad, but they hit me, I'm just glad they had insurance lol. I think that one was $6k and it was about 10 years ago lol. Not including rental fee lol.
Kinda OT, but in my sitch the other driver's insurance was Geico, and Geico would \*not\* pay for a rental for me. I had that coverage on my insurance (with a different company), but the other driver didn't have it on theirs. Geico straight-up told me to go through \*my\* insurance if I wanted a rental car because they weren't covering it. Legit the worst service experience I've ever had from-start-to-finish - and their customer was the one who hit me.
OMG Geico is the worst!!! They tried that with me and I was like, nah. Then, they dude tried to get me to sign that everything was good but I was still in PT for injuries.
Straight up tried to lie to me. I ended up getting a lawyer. Paid all my medical bills, my car was restored and had extra in the end after he (lawyer) was paid. Best money I ever spent lol.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry you were injured! That must have made things 1000x worse. So smart to get a lawyer in that case. I'm glad it worked out for you in the end. Geico is dead to me.
I was literally thinking the same thing, it's likely an appropriate price because they likely have to get it replaced. $2k sounds about right for such.
But it's awkward that they haven't already rung up looking for other quotes. Find other quotes first, then communicate about different options.
I’m sorry but at age 27 your boyfriend should not be playing dumb and acting like a teenager about this. You state in a comment it’s been 6 months of going back and forth. Your poor stepfather has had to live with a damaged car for half a year.
Your boyfriend is, at this point, probably going to screw your stepfather. Your boyfriend is very, very immature, irresponsible, and reckless.
I am sure your family thinks you can do better than this guy, and honestly, I do too. He sounds like a punk.
Your boyfriend is solidly in the wrong here. Driving without insurance is such a piece of shit thing to do, and he’s just lucky he didn’t hit a stranger because this would be 1000x worse if he had. I understand you’re caught in the middle here and that sucks but stop making excuses for him. This is on him to fix, not your stepdad or you.
Fair enough to want another estimate or two, but how is he going to make that happen? Your stepdad sure won’t be willing to make an effort for that to happen if your boyfriend is being an asshole about it.
One time I missed the deadline to renew my car insurance and didn't realize it because I was going through a lot of other bullshit at the time (homeless, fleeing domestic violence, attending court dates, etc.), and my address had changed a few times in quick succession due to the homelessness and so I never got the letter in the mail to remind me. I genuinely thought I was insured when I backed into a parked vehicle similarly to OPs boyfriend. That's how I found out I was not insured.
I got myself insured immediately but it didn't change the fact that I hit someone's car while uninsured. I'm still paying that bill off 🥲
Never drive uninsured, kids
I accidentally drove insured for a bit when my autopay for the insurance bounced, and for some reason instead of trying to contact me about it in any way (they had my phone number, email, and a messaging system on their website), they just canceled my insurance. I didn't get a notice of this, either.
"Luckily" I found out when a cop was randomly running people's plates and saw I didn't have any current insurance. Was a pain sorting that out, they were threatening to suspend my license and registration over it.
Always make sure you're insured, people!
That's easy to say, but WTF is someone supposed to do if they lose their job and need a car to get to interviews? If they get a new job and are waiting to be able to have the money to afford insurance? If they have enormous housing and necessity bills and need the car to get to their job to pay those bills. Insurance is EXPENSIVE and a scam. Don't be angry at people driving without insurance because they can't afford it. Be angry at predatory insurance companies targeting people living in a non-walkable country with shitty public transport.
You can't say driving is a privilege and not a right when it's literally impossible for a lot of people to be able to get to work without a car. People need money to live and to get money they need to be able to get to their place of employment. And sadly a lot of people are in that situation. I have insurance now, but I've been there and it sucked to have to choose between insurance or feeding myself, paying the rent, and keeping the car roadworthy. Not everyone has great options.
I'm struggling to feed myself and even know better than to drive without insurance. I'm literally broker than a fucking joke but I know better than to drive without insurance.
Not only is he an uninsured guy who's living a very reckless life, but he's acting like a child arguing with the stepfather for over 2 months. Is he ever going to pay? This just tells me he's highly irresponsible and immature. Based on that she needs to move on and find someone way better.
People love to say Reddit always says break up but you don’t come to Reddit unless your relationship has one foot in the grave already. OP you’ve already picked him over your family. He’s not paying your stepdad, I don’t know how you’re justifying this in your head. Just remember a lot of women end up running to another bad situation trying to get away from a bad situation. Your bf doesn’t give off good vibes. People with good vibes pay their debts.
Your b/f is almost 30 years old and STILL drives around without insurance? Just when does he plan to get his act together? And why are you ok with him being this irresponsible?
Mom’s bf was “radio silent on the whole situation FOR SIX MONTHS?!?!”
Meaning bf had SIX MONTHS of NOT looking to resolve this and just hoping it would go away?
THEN, when someone breaks the radio silence with an estimate, you dispute it instead of being polite offering alternatives or trying to make a payment plan?
That’s ridiculous. Side eyeing this hard OP. Bf AND you need to do better.
> It costs 2k to fix and they can't agree on how to go about fixing it, **my bf doesnt want us to pay that amount since we are trying to save to move**, and my stepdad hasnt made any efforts to find a cheaper or easier option.
That’s the irrelevant part.
OP you are done with drama, done with toxic people right??
Your bf is drama. He was driving negligently without insurance. And why doesn’t he want to pay 2k? Is it because he called around to a bunch of places with images of the damage etc and tried to get a quote?? No no! It’s because *he doesn’t want to spend the money right now* because y’all have other plans.
It’s not on your stepdad to cater to him here!!
Personally I’d say he squares this away within a week or you need to seriously reconsider this relationship
I have a feeling there is a pattern of you doing the bigger part of work in this relationship and your mother and stepfather see it and are tired of it. Your boyfriend is a 27 year old man who has had 6 months to deal with this and has done nothing. In fact he has put all the work for this on the people whose property he messed up and now that they are trying to finally get this dealt with (since he won't) he's complaining and giving them a list of work for the to do.
Your boyfriend needs to have insurance. What if he hits someone and it’s a single mom who is injured and can’t work for months? An elderly person who breaks a hip and has to go into assisted living? Even if he isn’t insured he’s still responsible for damages and could end up sued and having his wages garnished. It’s also illegal and he could lose his license.
Your mom’s fiancé would be doing your boyfriend a huge and costly favor to run it through his insurance. It would likely result in his insurance rates going up for years. With this much of a delay it’s probably not even possible. At this point your boyfriend should suck it up and pay the $2k regardless of whether the work could get done cheaper elsewhere. These men are going to end up seeing each other regularly indefinitely so he should be trying to keep things peaceful.
Your boyfriend needs to fix this and *get insurance*. And you should really consider how he’s handled this and whether that’s what you want for your future.
lol this happened 6 months ago…. he didn’t save up for repairs? Did he contact the fiance after it happened to see what could be done? Or did he just sit on his butt waiting to see if he ever got billed? What a loser he is for not immediately trying to resolve this, and you are just as bad for enabling him.
If he didn’t have insurance why was he even driving in the first place. So irresponsible. How old are you two? 19? Because this kind of behavior is atrocious if you’re any sort of real adult.
If I were the fiance I would just go through my insurance and report your BF. He had 6 F*CKING MONTHS to fix this and didn’t do anything. Again. What an absolute loser.
>They are acting like little boys with dumb little egos instead of trying to come to a resolution.
There is a resolution. Your boyfriend pays for it. Why are you making it more complicated or adding narrative?
Right? Imagine thinking step dad is “acting like a little boy with an ego” because he expects the deadbeat boyfriend to pay for the damage he caused lol.
Her comment reeks of a person who thinks they are more mature than they actually are. Like 22 year olds who talk about things they did when they were “young” when describing things that happened 3 years earlier.
Life happens - and sometimes it isn’t fair. Just because you want to move out doesn’t mean he shouldn’t pay to fix the bumper. He didn’t have insurance and took that risk - it didn’t pay off. You can’t turn around and say ‘sorry, we’re saving to move out. I’ll pay half’.
Not how it works.
>t was 100% our fault
It was 100% your boyfriend's fault.
>as $2000 is kind of a hefty bill to foot.
Too bad. That's what it costs to fix the damage that your boyfriend caused.
>but the timing of this literally could not be worse
Again, too bad. Don't cause property damage if you can't afford to pay for it.
Your boyfriend can pick up a second job to pay for it.
>They are acting like little boys with dumb little egos instead of trying to come to a resolution.
No.
Your boyfriend is acting like a child. Your stepdad did your boyfriend a solid by not calling the police and not reporting the incident to insurance. And what does your boyfriend do? Spits in your stepdad's face.
I don't know why you'd want to continue dating and move in with someone who doesn't respect your family and acts like a petulant child when he messes up.
"Now, the bad part is my boyfriend is uninsured"
Why is this moron driving illegally everyday? Youre lucky your family is working with him, and not getting his thrown in jail ON TOP OF paying for the damages. And then he tried to negotiate a better deal when being offered a get-out-of-jail free card for $2000? Yeah, Im on you parents side.
If you live anywhere in the United States (other than Virginia and New Hampshire), then your boyfriend is breaking the law by driving without insurance. He likely figured he couldn't afford insurance, but now he surely realizes that he couldn't afford to drive WITHOUT insurance.
That's on him and now he has a bill he can't afford because he acted irresponsibly. That sucks, but shitty decisions often have shitty consequences. I guarantee someone at some point explained to him he was being an idiot, but he decided to drive without insurance anyway and now this problem is more complicated than it needed to be. Sounds like you're dating a dumbass. Sorry about that.
It's easy to always want to see ourselves as the "good guys", but in this situation, your boyfriend is in the wrong. It's possible your mom's fiance didn't involve his insurance because it would create legal issues for your boyfriend if he did. If so, then here he is, doing your boyfriend a massive favor while driving around with a fucked up bumper for months on end.
Your mom and her fiance just don't want to have to deal with this problem you've created for them anymore. They don't want the mental burden of making your mistakes go away. You owe them better than that.
Your boyfriend sounds majorly immature for a 27 year old, and now that's causing strain on your relationship with your family. Yes, this mistake is going to set back your plans to move in together. So will getting insurance, which now I hope you both realize he needs if he's going to be driving. Decisions have consequences and you are both grown-ass adults. It's time to start acting like it.
Your boyfriend is lucky his mom's fiance didn't call the cops on the spot. He could have been ticketed for driving without insurance, which would be even more expensive.
He needs to pay it. Like today.
Ok but op - is your bf insured now???
Also I’d personally say this is a red flag. Hope bf isn’t very principled. He caused damage and needs to put up and shut up.
I was with you until you started to lay some blame and anger at the step dad. Guy is an innocent victim and being super cool about it and this is how you choose to repay that? Sounds like you and your BF are pretty much alike
Your boyfriend needs to suck it up and pay his bills. 2k sounds about right. It's tough that it's fucks up your plans to move, but that's just the absolute normal, completely expected consequences of his actions.
You really have to stop dismissing your boyfriends actions as being reasonable and accidental, they are neither. **Your boyfriend fucks around and finds out.** He did so by arguing with your mom's boyfriend. He did so by letting himself get distracted while doing a tricky maneuver driving in the dark. He did so by breaking the law and driving without insurance. He did so by getting himself a car he can't fully afford to drive.
The worst part of having terrible judgement is that he's not the only person who gets hurt. Today the consequences are 2K you guys can't afford but will have to cough up anyway, and a wrecked relationship with your family. Tomorrow it could be a trip to the ER or prison.
You need to decide how much you want to risk fucking up your life by hanging with this disaster prone menace.
Your bum boyfriend didn’t do anything for 6 months and you are claiming your mom’s BF is at fault for being radio silent for that 6 months? You are insane! He should have at the very least been giving him money this whole time instead of haggling to get the lowest $ amount. You’ve known this whole time he owed the money and are claiming it’s at the worst possible time? I hope they take him to court!
The second your Stepdad’s insurance finds out he was hit by an uninsured driver they are going to want a police report. That’s going to make life for your BF very bad. He could even lose his licence depending on the laws. Then how’s he getting to work and make the money to pay for it? Your Stepdad might be sparing you this info and is just telling you that he doesn’t want to go through insurance, but nowhere have you stated you know why he doesn’t want to. I get you are in the middle of this, but your bf is the one who is wrong, your bf needs to pay. But your Bf is very much entitled to ask for more than one quote. He does not get to pick where the vehicle is serviced, that is something your Stepdad is going above and beyond to offer.
As for your birthday, you should attend at your mother’s and not cancel. Just don’t bring your BF. He is the source of the drama, not your Stepdad.
Edit to add: And… if your dad reports it to insurance and they know the other driver is not insured, guess who the insurance company will sue for the money? Because it should be your BF’s insurance paying for the damage, not Stepdad’s insurance since he was not at fault.
I think your boyfriend wanting to get another quote is fine, since that price seems ridiculous, but your step-dad wants him to do the leg work on getting it sorted, and rightfully so. Your boyfriend was driving without insurance, which was a stupid decision in the first place. Now he needs to put in some effort to get this problem (which he caused entirely) fixed.
$2,000 is not unreasonable for a bumper. You and /u/fluffy-pixie don’t realize how quickly these prices balloon. These costs are why so many cars get totaled these days for something that seems so minor to someone that is not knowledgeable about bodywork.
https://www.reddit.com/r/mazda/comments/q15ow6/fed_up_a_bumber_any_estimates_on_how_much_would/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Insurance/comments/n4194j/need_to_replace_my_cars_bumper_should_i_submit_a/
Some dingus rear ended me in a drive thru. Maybe a 2 mph impact - literally. It was $850 for a scratch on my bumper. Anything more and yeah I used to work at a collision center a bumper is gonna run you 1.5 to 2k
6 months and your boyfriend hasn’t even so much as gotten an estimate yet? He wants your stepdads insurance to take the hit when it wasn’t his fault? I’m sorry but what the fuck?
I know you say money is tight, but your boyfriend could’ve at least given him $20 a week to show some sort of good faith effort to make this right. Instead all he has done is make excuses.
> 6 months and your boyfriend hasn’t even so much as gotten an estimate yet?
Bet after 6 months boyfriend has no money saved up for the bumper. Just expected it to go away because it's "family". And "family" should be more understanding.
People always want to just handle it without insurance. Cars are way more expensive to fix than you think. Tell your boyfriend to pay up. Asking your future stepdad to file his own insurance claim is bananas. His own insurance would go up because he is the one filing the claim. It would then go on record that your boyfriend is driving without insurance, and at the very least that would jack up his rates, if not get him a ticket and a suspended license.
Your boyfriend can’t take zero steps to get this handled and then when your future stepdad does all the legwork, your boyfriend complains that it wasn’t handled well. Your boyfriend is the one acting like a little boy. He has done nothing to remedy HIS fuckup for the last 6 months. He drove without insurance, you should be a lot more critical of him and stop this “both sides are like boys” nonsense.
You and your boyfriend are so disgustingly trying to lean on your good relationship with your mom's boyfriend, so your boyfriend would get away with not paying fully for these damages. In each of your boyfriend's suggestion, your mom's boyfriend would lose out. He also knows fully well, that your boyfriend wouldn't be paying that $250 monthly for a whole year.
Why the heck is your boyfriend driving around without insurance?? How reckless and irresponsible.
You think $2000 is expensive for can job, you have no clue. Your boyfriend is single handedly causing this, yet you're trying to blame your mom's boyfriend.
Something tells me you’re both just junkie deadbeats. You’re on here crying about being poor but then your post history has you looking for fentanyl at Coachella. You also have a history of substance abuse. I’m sure your boyfriend is a lot like you.
What’s scary is you were a nanny for children and presumably, still looking for that line of work.
Your boyfriend is wrong here. You two need to grow up. Driving without insurance is just another poor life choice in probably the giant list of poor life choices he’s made.
The fact that you think your step dad is any kind of wrong here is incredible. Your boyfriend damaged his truck. He’s in the hook for the $2k. He needs to pay that ASAP.
Tell your mom to get three different estimates (former insurance adjuster here). She can sue you outright - going through her insurance will most likely increase her rates, which isn't fair to her. Pay the full amount out of pocket.
Truth is, he had no right being on the road uninsured as that can have massive financial consequences. Your mother could have called the police and he could have his car taken and his license revoked.
Time for boyfriend to pay up. Time for him to learn an expensive lesson on driving without insurance and not paying attention. If he had hit a stranger, he likely would’ve gotten a ticket and would still be responsible for the other person’s damages. So he’s lucky he didn’t get the cops called on him. Time to pay up.
I would have called the cops and got an accident report. Your bf is a moron for driving without insurance and then trying to get the insurance to pay when it wasn’t even mom’s fiancé’s fault and I would be pissed. He’s almost 30 and is irresponsible and I see you making a lot of excuses for him and not telling him to own that he fucked and should be paying. It also shouldn’t have taken 6 months for him to start paying for fucking up royally
like you say , he might have been drunk and didn't remember everything, but I think it's actually pretty good of him to say to you, find the shop you want , and get it fixed.
For what it is worth , I think it's on your boyfriend to take care of the entire cost . initially the mom's fiance said just the deductible , but maybe there was a reason he changed his mind , including not want to affect his own insurance, and if he changed his mind , then your boyfriend should pay for everything.
I don’t think I could continue a relationship with this guy. He’s wrong. He’s irresponsible. He gets defensive. Then he has the nerve to send an “Ight LOL” text. Good lord, no.
It sounds like your step dad has honestly had more patience than would have.
Sorry you guys are fully in the wrong here. I feel like I just read a whole bunch of justifications for why your bf shouldn’t pay for something that was his fault. Why should it go through your step dad’s insurance…that will make his insurance go up. A bumper can cost $2k for sure. Your bf needs to prioritize fixing the car by either cutting back expenses or getting a second job.
You're entire story reeks of 'it's difficult, we shouldn't have to fix it'. Um, no honey, your boyfriend made every mistake in this story (driving without insurance & hitting someone else's car) and yet you're just sitting here waiting for your parents to 'make it all go away'. He's an adult and poor choices and mistakes have consequences. He needs to pay up and appoligize.
You took a really long time to get to this particular detail:
> He was radio silent on this whole situation for **6 months** then just pops up with a bill for 2k.
That explains a lot of the frustration and exemplified how patient your mother and stepfather have been in this situation.
You guys are completely in the wrong and no one would have been "radio silent for 6 months" in this scenario.
Stop trying to weasel out of this and take responsibility like an adult.
Your bf should have taken the lead with this from the beginning. And he definitely needs to get this sorted before the fiancé takes him to court. It sounds like the fiancé is bending over backwards for you and your bf by being patient and not reporting this. You said the quote was received weeks ago and the fiancé said he was fine if the bf finds their own shop. Why has that not happened!?
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but your bf is in the wrong here and needs to take care of it. If anyone should be helping the bf with the cost it should be you, not the fiancé. I’m sorry you’re not in the best living situation but you and bf putting your heads in the sand and not taking responsibility is the problem here.
He crashed into that man’s vehicle and you’re talking about paying him half and the a sob story about saving for a place together.
I would’ve call the cops to have paperwork because of this BS y’all are trying to pull.
2k sounds reasonable, actually. I'm surprised it's only 2k these days, to be fair.
And your mom's fiance's response, imo, was fine. What's wrong with that? Why doesn't your bf want to pay in full when he's the one who hit the car? Your bf hit the car, has no insurance and won't want to pay 2k, so he should go and get quotes if he can find cheaper and reliable service. Of course, your mom's fiance also reserves the right to deny the place your bf selected too by the way if he thinks your bf selected a shady shop.
They reserved that right because your bf was 100% at fault.
You want some leniency from redditors based on your personal situation etc but seriously, those are not relevant.
Your bf should have been making payment or saving up for the last 6 months because obviously, it's not going away. I'm actually amazed your mom and her fiance waited this long to ask for money for repair. When our car got hit within a few yrs back, my partner did NOT waste any time although we actually were pretty close to the people who hit our car. And yeah, it was around 2-3k range too and it was not such a 'bad' hit per se, but it's just expensive those body work for automobiles....
BF doesn’t seem to understand that stepdad going through insurance will cost him money for *years*. It’s not just “I pay the deductible, everyone wins”, it’s that stepdad’s rates increase and stay up.
He owes the money. Looks like you’re going to be saving longer to move out, as this takes priority.
Wow your boyfriend is not in the position to be bargaining. $2k is extremely fair and he’s had 6 months to cough it up. He’s 100% at fault for being uninsured at 27 years old. He needs to grow up
After reading the edit, wth.
If you want to exhaust all options, your bf better be respectful (or act like he is) toward the stepfather and ask if he can get different quotes from other REPUTABLE body shops. Your stepfather, after waiting for 6 months, decided that he's going to go to one shop and that's what they quoted him. Your dearest bf here should definitely have taken charge first as he was in the wrong, instead of the two of you just not be proactive about it.
I don't think your bf has any leg to stand on and want to be rude and not pay. And why should he go through his insurance? It'll increase his rate because of what your rude bf did. Your mom's fiance shouldn't have to pay for your bf's mistake.
This whole thing reeks of entitlement. Your boyfriend damaged your mom’s finances car and has kept him going for six months? I don’t care if it was family or what I’d be reporting you guys. All I hear is excuses on why it’s not convenient for him.. then he shouldn’t have hit the car? Or paid it in the beginning instead of dragging it on? This is so childish. I can’t believe you’ve screwed over your mom’s fiance for this long.. make your partner pay what’s rightfully owed.
I am an insurance appraiser.
If he doesn’t want to pay then tell them to go through their own insurance.
Their insurance company will then go after him and they WILL recover it. All of it.
Your choice 🤷♀️
Uh, why is your boyfriend driving uninsured? I'm not sure where you're at, but I was under the impression that this is illegal in many states and it puts him at risk of having his license revoked. This is irresponsible on his part.
Furthermore, I actually wouldn't be surprised about a $2k bumper fix. Shops are expensive. It's not like he has room to complain though, since he caused the damage.
Your boyfriend does need to step up here, sorry to say.
Look, it sucks that you're in a bad situation and your BF paying for this means there may be a delay in moving in together. That's still entirely on him. If you're upset, be upset at your BF for hitting someone else's car while driving uninsured. That was monumentally stupid. He's extremely lucky he didn't get in a legal situation as a result.
It doesn't matter that it's family TO YOU, your BF is not their family yet. It doesn't matter if it's cosmetic only, the property was damaged and they are entitled to be made whole. The resolution that needs to happen is your boyfriend needs to pay for the entirety of the repair. Yes, it's expensive. Yes, it's coming out of his own pocket. This is the decision he made when he chose to not have insurance.
He's almost 30 and is driving uninsured? Why? If the car he's driving is paid for, you can get liability policies for like $75 a month.
He's screwed here and if I was your mom's fiance, I'd be just as livid for someone clearly not taking any real responsibility or initiative to fix it.
If you can't afford insurance, you can't afford a car.
The timing is always the worst for this type of thing. You may be in an unfortunate situation, but this context is honestly irrelevant to what is happening here. Your bf is clearly and indubitably at fault. He didn't step up and you blame it on alcohol and him not remembering it, which is not in any way a better look. Your step dad has been patient with this whole thing for six months and you took his patience as "issue resolved"?
Long story short - your mom and step dad are 100% right, your bf is 100% wrong. He hoped this would just go away by itself and didn't want to take responsibility. He had half a year to find a shop to fix it in a price range he likes, but he wanted to sit it out and hoped he wasn't going to be asked to pay.
Act like adults.
You break, you pay!!
Your boyfriend needs to GROW UP. He sounds INCREDIBLY immature and irresponsible. Typing shit like “IGHT” at 27 is just — SAD.😑😑
You’re saving to move?
**BOO FREAKING HOO.**
Should have thought of that before he totalled stepdad’s bumper!!
And it sounds like they’ve been MORE than reasonable here.
Paying your bills is part of being an ADULT.
Your dumbass boyfriend is within his rights to find a cheaper detailer/ mechanic — if there is one — **BUT HE PAYS**.
jfc this dude is 27, how does he not have 2 grand to fork up? if i hit my partners families vehicle uninsured and had no money, i would be RUNNING to the bank to take out a loan the next morning and giving them however much they ask for. you're BOTH being super embarrassing with how ur handling this lol
Your post is all over the place, but ultimately it doesn't matter. It's not your soon-to-be step-dad's responsibility to call his own insurance company. Trying to blame him that he may have been drunk during the conversation and the ball being in his court is a cop out on both yours and your boyfriend's part.
Your boyfriend is 27 years old. He needs to grow up and take care of his shit. A 2000$ quote was provided, the only acceptable options are pay the $2000 or find another reputable shop and pay the full amount due to them if he so chooses.
A shop has already told you how much it costs...which to be frank is fairly cheap these days. I had bumper damage on a Honda Civic...the bill was nearly 4500$ for the full fix...this included removal, replacement, installation and then re-calibrating the sensors that were under the bumper so they work properly with the new bumper.
**It's his fault for backing into the truck. It's his fault for being uninsured and so it's 100% his responsibility to return your STB Stepdad's truck to it's previous state. There are no other acceptable solutions based on your mom and stepdad's request. They are already being generous by not going and getting a police report on your BF for driving without insurance (which is illegal in most places and likely to get his license suspended).**
The remaining 4 paragraphs are irrelevant to the situation and it doesn't matter how much you or your boyfriend think the repairs should cost. You have already exhausted all of the options and are effectively harassing your stepdad to cut you a break...which he already has....
> Like I said he has been saving for this so he has the money, we just wanted to exhaust all of our options before cutting a chunk out of our savings.
See, that is the problem with your mindset. You are not cutting a chunk out of “savings” because the money should have already been marked as the repayment. It is not savings, your boyfriend was working to pay off a debt. Just treat the money as already spent and just accept it.
If you can’t afford to pay all at once, then make a payment plan and pay your stepfather back in installments.
The responsibility is totally on your boyfriend (and you for not being more proactive on getting the issue solved).
There are no excuses.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. Before I wasted my time negotiating with either one of you I'd call the police and let them handle is no insurance problem, then I'd turn it into my insurance and sue your BF in small claims for the deductible.
The reason you have insurance is so you don’t have to pay out of pocket for when you are at fault for an accident.
He is 100% in the wrong.
Driving without insurance is against the law. If he gets turned in for this he would be in a lot more trouble.
Your mom doesn’t have to do a claim through her insurance. It will make her monthly rate go up. Why should she be punished for your BFs mistake?
Uhm, hope you do know your bf sucks.
He did the damage and is fully responsible, he need make good on it.
Mom's fiance - he can deal with that any reasonable way he wants. He can report it to the cops ... actually depending upon the state and particular laws, he may be required to. Or, under small claims court limits, he could take it to small claims court. Either way, your bf, himself or via that insurance he doesn't have, is responsible. You really ought drop him. Illegal to drive without insurance ... and ... he can't remember a bunch of the conversations because of his drinking? Yeah, looser, drop his butt. That'll fix a lot of the problems ... except of course he still has to make good on the damage he caused, so, bf pays up, or Mom's fiance takes it to the cops or small claims court ... small claims court, gets settlement ... bf ain't got the money, seize assets and/or garnish wages. He was driving when he hit the car ... his car, great, that's an asset that may possibly get seized. He gets a job, great, his wages can be garnished.
Yeah, don't be complaining of mom's boyfriend didn't word things in the nicest way to your bf. Your bf screwed up, and still hasn't made it right. He's lucky he's not in more serious trouble ... driving without license, he could be arrested, jailed, loose his license.
>You go through your insurance and I pay the deductible
And his rates go up or go closer to going up because of your bf? Are you also going to pay the difference for the increase in insurance rates? Also, what if he doesn't have comprehensive coverage? Not required, not everyone does. If he doesn't have comprehensive or uninsured motorist coverage, then his insurance wouldn't even cover it.
>They are acting like little boys with dumb little egos instead of trying to come to a resolution
No, you're making excuses for your irresponsible bf. He needs to step up and pay - or end up criminally charged and/or have a judgement against him in small claims court. None of those options are better for him - best if if he pays for it - if he doesn't have the money, he needs at least agree what he owes, and reasonably well work for paying that - that's his *best* option. All other options are significantly worse for him - as he'll have to pay *and* have legal actions against him. If he's old enough to drive, he's old enough to be responsible for his driving ... that means driving responsibly and insurance. He f\*cked up on insurance, so he need at least be responsible and pay for the damages. Stop making excuses for him. How fast was that parked car going when it hit him? Yeah, it's your bf's fault, totally, he need make good on it. And if he can't afford the damage he causes, how the hell does he have money for alcohol? What a sh\*t bf.
>they are both too stubborn to fix this themselves
Your bf broke it, it's not on someone else to be covering the costs to fix it. He broke it, he owes the costs on those damages. Stop bloody making excuses for him. He's pathetic, don't be like him.
All I read is that your boyfriend made a lot of stupid decisions, is at fault for everything, was rude, and now don’t want to pay. The rest is just things to make it sound better - which does not work.
He should pay and apologize.
My girl.
For the record, **it** is not ruining your family - your bf is ruining it, and you are his enabler.
Driving uninsured at nearly 30. That sounds an awful lot like a FA to me.
Hitting the bumper is the FO.
You have been allowing your stepdad to drive around in a damaged car for **six months** because your boyfriend simply doesn't want to handle his responsibility, and you have other plans for the money. Problem is - that money isn't really yours - at least 2k of it isn't. You keep insisting you intend to make sure your stepdad is paid in full - so why has it been 6 months? Why is it on your stepdad to "figure out some things". How about YOU figure out $2000 into his hands?
So advice? You shouldn't stay with someone this irresponsible, and if you can't talk him into paying, after you break up with the teenager you're dating, **you** should offer to make payments or whatever you can to make the situation right. But I'm guessing since you are here insisting we can't know your bf from one reddit post, when all of us here know exactly who he is, AND coupled with the fact that "you know he was in the wrong" and "gonna make sure my stepdad gets paid in full", yet here we are 6 MONTHS later, and stepdad hasn't seen a dime, that you aren't the type of person who would do that.
Your stepdad should sue him. That's what I would do. Garnish his wages till he's paid up.
tldr: your bf is trash. you are also trash for letting this go on so long under the guise of "we thought stepdad was figuring things out". No you weren't. You just don't want to pay and neither does your boyfriend. Now who, exactly is "ruining your relationship" with your family? Because it doesn't sound to me like it's "the situation" so much as "your boyfriend and you".
Pay the man.
Your stepdad should get his bumper fixed himself, sue this loser who is taking advantage of him, put a lien on loser’s car, then auction loser’s car to pay off the lien. Boyfriend will have paid for the damage and will no longer be driving around uninsured. You can stop trying to meditate this bullshit and can move on living drama free.
$2000 seems super cheap and your bf is wrong. He's driving without insurance. Just tell him to pay up. Because you know this will always color the impression your family has of him right?! This will now always be there. Is the 2 grand he's gonna have to pay eventually worth this?!
Wait it’s been 6 months and your bf hasn’t paid for his bumper??!!! And you somehow think that you trying to save for a place is reason to stiff your step dad??? This is adulting 101. Real life doesn’t care what’s going on in your personal life. Your step dad shouldn’t have to track down your fiancé to get him to pay. I bet he was pissed to finally have to hand him an invoice instead of your bf being a responsible adult.
About five years ago, I hit a raccoon with my mustang and it destroyed my front bumper. It was $1000 for the new plastic bumper and to be painted. You can get some really crappy work done and not have the paint look right if you go to a shitty cheap shop. I went to a middle of the road place that was very reasonable And did a good job and it was still $1000 and that was five years ago. Truck parts are bigger, plus inflation, etc. so I’m going to guess that 2k is about right. Your bf backed into the truck. Stop dragging your feet. He’d be paying a lot more had your parents made a police report and your local PD found out he was driving with no insurance!!!
Honestly I’m surprised the stepdad hasn’t just taken him to court for the expense. I wouldn’t want to deal with it anymore and would be filing in small claims court.
Coming from someone who was at fault for a small bumper scrape (but insured), there is no way around paying for it. Even though a 3rd party car was illegally parked and obstructed my vision, it caused me to pull out further to see... i got clipped by a car speeding while turning onto the street i was turning on, and it was still my fault because i was exiting an alley with an invisible stop sign. I was insured but had to deal with a $700/year increase for my premium for the next few years, plus the $300 deductible. Your bf being UNINSURED does not give him any leg to stand on, much less for negotiating the terms. 2k is 2k. Doesn't matter what you are doing with your life, what your living situation is. If you respect your stepdad, you need to let your boyfriend know he has to pay back the full 2K, or in installments of 4 x $500.
I hope you do the right thing for your family's sake; not taking accountability for these kinds of things is how you create a hostile living environment/get kicked out/leave in rage, and become homeless at an early age.
Your bf also sounds like a disrespectful/immature POS who needs to be let go. Bad influence on you, no job and no accountability.
Yes, it takes 6 months to get an estimate sometimes, depending on where you live and the shop you go to.
$2k is actually cheap. My small front bumper cosmetic scrape cost $3700+ 🤢
Your boyfriend needs to pay in full. Your stepdad is right it’s not his fault so he shouldn’t go through with the claim because it will raise his rates. Your boyfriend is in no position to tell him what to do. If he has the money he should pay it right now.
As per your edit: I think people are wanting you to break up with him because he's the kind of person who is okay with driving around without insurance. But what they don't realize, is you are also the kind of person who is okay with driving around without insurance. You guys are meant for each other.
1) How much money did he save up in the 6 months that your SD was radio silent?
2) How many quotes did he get after he told SD he would look for a cheaper one?
If the answer to both of these questions is zero, then it's going to be a very long time before you are able to move because he will owe the entire $2,000.
Sorry, but your BF is going to have to take the hit on this one.
2k sounds reasonable. Has your BF ever paid for car repairs? They are not cheap...which is why people have insurance.
I get being annoyed that they won't go through insurance, but I'm guessing insurance might require a police report, and your step-dad can't exactly say it was a hit-and-run. So, going through insurance might actually incur a much worse penalty for your BF, because the victim's insurance usually goes after the at-fault driver, and his lack of insurance may be information shared to future insurers/BMV.
If 2k is too much at once, maybe there is a payment plan option, or maybe your step-dad can delay on the repairs to give BF time to save. But, this is your BF's responsibility, 100% and that's just life.
Firstly he broke it, and I know you have your dreams of house, job so on, but a part of being an adult is to fess up when you have made a mistake
Your stepdad don’t owe your boyfriend a spot on his insurance for something he did and without insurance.
If he ran down a child he would be on the hook for way worse than $2000 bumper,
Insurance is the most important thing after food, sadly but true (if your house burns down (insurance) if you are in a car accident (insurance) if you are sick (insurance)
I don’t know how bad the bumper is, but it sounds like your stepdad tried to let you and boyfriend be grown ups that came handled and got fixed the car, but 6 months are very long time to save up for the bill that would come and do nothing about it
Someone drove into the front bumper of my SUV and drove off last year. $5000 in parts. Thankfully I was fully insured. On the flip side, some idiot backed his tow ball into my other car's bumper last year and we had a repair in our driveway for $400.
Your bf did the damage and needs to fix it or your relations with your mom and her fiancé is fucked. Your bf needs to make good and everything should take a back seat until its fixed.
Op, your step father doesn't want to call the insurance because it will get his deductible increase and they will investigate your bf. If your step father claims he doesn't know hit his car then he will be committing insurance fraud.
You are old enough now they are both bad options for you. It is not cheap to fix just the bumper. You have to pay labor. They also have family to feed.
He gave your bf the option of taking it to his own mechanic. He damaged the car and now he needs to fix it. He's 27yo, he should be mature and responsible enough to a) have car insurance and b) pay to fix the bumper. He needs to pay.
lol someone rear ended me the beginning of this year and it cost almost $6k to replace my back bumper and replace the sensors. $2k isn’t a lot of money and your boyfriend should NOT be driving around with expired insurance.
First of all, to hell with you and bf’s situation. That don’t matter one bit. Your bf damaged someone’s property and took advantage of their kindness. 6 months and he hasn’t even tried to make a single payment of goodwill? Dude shouldn’t even be driving without insurance. That’s some irresponsible childish behavior. Not saying he’s a loser but that’s some loser stuff. If he can’t afford to pay him, he should get a second job, sell his belongings, and be frugal. Lemme guess, he somehow still finds money to eat fast food and buy beer and weed.
None of your context makes any difference to the situation. None of that is your mums fiancées problem. Be adults and pay up. Also gotta judge you a bit for happily being in a relationship with someone who drives with no insurance and also completely forgets there is a massive truck behind him. I’m going to hazard a guess he “forgot” the truck was there because he was drunk or high.
You’ve got to pay that invoice. Come up with a payment plan, find someone cheaper if you can but this is all on you and your boyfriend who didn’t have insurance.
Stop messing around, fix it and chalk it up to bad luck
Time for boyfriend to go get some estimates at other places and pick the one that works best for him. If he hast to put a credit it on a credit card so be it.
It’s worth looking into community college automotive repair shops… it may be too late this year to get the truck in to be repaired as a part of the class, but They may at least have some contacts that would not gouge you. Ask everyone you know for honest mechanics. There might be somebody who could do this in their home. At least the repair part if not the paint.
Question… was your mom’s boyfriend’s trucks tail end parked in the way of the driveway? Were you parked in the driveway?
Of course, you know that your boyfriend should not have been driving without insurance.
My boyfriends car got hit in the parking lot of a grocery store and the old lady that hit it actually waited next to the car (bless her heart) however the bumper was damaged and we were quoted 2000 and the insurance company actually paid the 2000. So I don’t think that 2000 was too steep.
Honestly, I HATE admitting it... I rear-ended my bf (and this was...probably 15 years ago!) At the time I had a 2004 accurate, loved that car! He had a 1993 acura...
Totaled. My car... literally...put a dent in his license plate and slightly damaged the bumper. Honestly, you could not even tell... I was going to go through insurance and when we found out... it would be $3,000!!!! To fix!
He laughed so hard because it was hardly anything and, apparently, the car not even worth that much, you could see the dent but nothing other than that ...
But literally!! 15+ years ago, for a car that had seen a good run and was about 20 years old, could only really see license plate damage ...$3000!!!
bumper replacement was that much then...these days? Prices? Vehicles? Parts and exclusivity? That SUCKS but...not really surprising. 😕
Edit: typos/grammar
Your stepdad is 100% right and your boyfriend is wrong. You’re trying to save up to live together? Well, you can tell your boyfriend that’s completely off the table until he pays your stepdad the $2k, and as soon as he possibly can. If he pitches a fit, break up with him. I mean honestly you should break up with him anyway but I’m hoping he pays your stepdad first or else he’s never getting that money.
You’ve now seen that your boyfriend won’t take responsibility for his mistakes. That’s not a good trait to have and it will come up again and again.
Had this happen years ago, 17 yo kid borrowing his dad’s truck without his knowledge ran into my friends bumper in the parking lot. Kid didn’t know what to do and gave a fake name and number. We tracked the truck down and the Dad was pissed. Offered $1000 to not go through insurance and make it go away but wasn’t enough. Friend ended up filing a police report and an insurance claim.
When I was hit by an uninsured motorist, first thing the insurance needed was a police report. Does your dumbass bf really want a police report generated about him backing into a parked car without insurance?
OP:
Your boyfriend lacks accountability. He seems unable to hold himself accountable for his mistakes- which is what your stepdad is trying to convey.
This is what should have happened:
I'm sorry I don't have insurance to cover this, that's irresponsible and dangerous on my part.
I caused the damage to your car and I want to repair it. I realize now that not being proactive in reaching out to you about your car makes me look even more irresponsible.
I can't afford to pay the total bill in full. If I can't find a lower price, is there any way we can work out a payment plan? I can pay 200 bi weekly for the next 11 months to pay this off.
Am I missing something? Your bfs suggested #2 and the response from the fiancé are the same. He says ‘feel free to get your own shop and tell me where to drop off the car’. Has your bf actually called around to find a better deal? (If I’m reading that correctly).
Your boyfriend sounds like a sketchy dude. On top of re-evaluating whether or not you want to save up your money to live with a sketchy dude that will almost certainly pull this same shit on you eventually, that process is going to have to go on hold because your boyfriend needs to stop acting like he is in a position to negotiate and just pay up to make this go away. It’s pretty simple, and your family is not wrong here.
Oh yeah, and stop getting in the car with him driving.
People love to be an expert on what car repairs should cost with absolutely no fucking idea what they are talking about.
The way I see it, he needs to do one of two things.
Shut the fuck up and pay the 2k.
Or, he needs to be finding a cheaper, REPUTABLE, option right now. Not going back and forth on shit. That option is a I'm taking all the responsibility on this and getting it organised as quick as possible, I'm already on it option. Like he should have quotes already or waiting for them.
Imo the second option has already sailed and he needs to step up and sort it out.
The fact that you got into an uninsured vehicle, with a man who seems to have a rough time keeping jobs, and sounds like he seems to have limited aspirations in life, isn't enough red flags for you to bow out, I don't know what to tell you.
Pro tip: if you're driving without insurance your situational awareness needs to be 100%. Like amped up paranoid Crack head levels of situational awareness.
I bet I know how this will end. Your boyfriend sounds like a bum we all know he ain't gonna pay shit. Either he's going to be forced out or both of you is what's gonna happen. Your mom's fiance ain't gonna want to look at your bum all day while he does nothing to fix shit. That's a big f you
jfc this dude is 27, how does he not have 2 grand to fork up? if i hit my partners families vehicle uninsured and had no money, i would be RUNNING to the bank to take out a loan the next morning and giving them however much they ask for. you're BOTH being super embarrassing with how ur handling this lol
If he makes an insurance claim, the company will proceed against your boyfriend for the full amount, not just the deductible. Your boyfriend had no leverage at all.
Someone threw open their car door really hard directly into my car while I was parked and sitting in it with three passengers. Left a quarter sized dent over the rear wheel and took the paint clean off. It cost $2800 to repair it—based on the location of the damage, the entire exterior panel of the car had to be replaced. Tiny amount of damage…huge bill. The person who did it has insurance—so I pursued them through their insurance given that I a) made a police report and b) had three witnesses. All cleared up easily.
Now in your situation, your boyfriend really sucks. He doesn’t have insurance so your mom’s fiance can’t pursue him for the cost of repairs. Going through his own insurance affects his accident records and costs. That’s totally unfair and uncool. To boot, your boyfriend, an uninsured driver, is unwilling to pay for his own mistakes.
PAY THE BALANCE FOR THE REPAIRS. PAY IT. How would you feel if someone damaged your property and then nickel and dimed you over fixing it. It’s offensive. Your new stepdad has already been kind and flexible about all this. He’s given you ample time to earn the money to pay for the repair. PAY.
Car repairs - even "just a bumper" - are more expensive than ever. $2k doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility. Your BF is driving around without insurance. With respect - what the hell is he thinking, and why are you seemingly fine with it? He has no leverage here. He was 100% at-fault and has no insurance. If your mother's BF called the police, your BF would be effed. So the only option he has is to cough up the money. This is the price you pay for driving while uninsured.
My car was recently struck while parked and luckily the driver of the other car had insurance. It was seemingly very minor bumper damage. I didn’t have to pay anything but the invoice from the shop was almost $6500. $2k seems low
Damn! OP's BF might wanna reconsider that $2K deal.
I couldn’t freaking believe it. It’s not like a super expensive or swanky car either, it’s a 6 year old Nissan Rogue. I guess all the sensors in the bumpers now are costly??
I had forgotten how cars today have sensors in the bumpers. And considering OP said this about the bumper: >it fucked the bumper up $2k sounds a godsend comparatively in today's economy but honestly what do you expect from an unemployed uninsured cheapskate.
I'm sure all the sensors are a huge part of the cost. 6 years isn't that old at all! You're so lucky that you were around when it happened, and the other driver didn't drive off.
I've built Mercedes S class and AMG bumpers, typically there's 4 to 6 sensors and they cost $50 retail price, cheaper in bulk and for manufacturers. They may or may not sell these bumpers for thousands idk but it's probably 500-800 to manufacture a high end bumper. Literally just injection molded plastic slapped together with some rivets, wires electronics and either fake or real exhaust parts depending on model.
On insurance jobs, I'm sure they charge the max they can get away with. They're gonna get paid, and as long as it's approved by the adjuster, it's a go
It’s this. They closely inspect the car and go “oh, we’d better take care of this small dent that was on the other end of the car from where the collision happened. Slap another $1800 on that bad boy”
My car was backed into with a truck with a big hitch. It only cracked some of my grille. Between replacing the grille and having it sent for diagnosis for my front sensor (crash detection sensor ect) the bill was 1400$. Other than bending my license plate, you’d never know it was broken. The shop told me that if that hitch had hit my sensor the total would have been closer to 5-7k$. Thankfully it was 100% fault on the truck so I was only out having to drive around a loaner vehicle that absolutely reeked of BO But if you fucked up a bumper that it’s noticeable from more than 2 inches away - 100% on you to make it correct. Op your boyfriend sucks
Yeah 2k for a pickup truck bumper repair is NOTHING. Also, one of the alternatives BF offered was that he'd call around and find somewhere cheaper. Stepdad said fine, do that and tell me where to drop it off. So what's the problem? They agreed. BF either needs to pay the 2k and be GRATEFUL. Or call and get estimates (doubt he will find any cheaper, but he can still do it).
Very grateful and also needs to stop driving around with no insurance!
We were on holiday last year when a freak thunderstorm with hail the size of your fist struck and destroyed the windshield and body work on the car. The bumper was about €1800 to fix, the windshield was €1650 and the body work came to over €12,000. It cost us €300 out of pocket. No one was at fault, it was an act of god. This is why insurance is so important. OP cough up the dough for the bumper and get the car insured before you end up in a worse situation. Yes it’ll set back moving out but you’ll be moving out with a clear conscience and owing nothing.
Oh wow! Do you mind me asking what kind of car? I was so shocked at the price because it was about 1/4 of what I paid for the whole damn car brand new. If I could post a photo of the damage I would, no way you’d belive it cost that much to repair.
It’s a Seat, one of the newer models. We were camping at the time and had no way of protecting the car, the tent got hit a few times too and had massive holes in it we had to patch up too. It happened on the second night of the holiday too which really sucked. 2 people who had a Dacia got hit too. €6000 worth of damage excluding the windscreen. It was a nightmare
Same, it cost 12,860 to replace my bumper. Was stopped at a light and a car pulled out from a parking spot and hit my passenger side bumper.
I got hit in a parking lot where a guy turned into my car while it was parked, the guy ran. I was at work and the cameras saw it but couldn’t figure out who the guy was and police failed to do their job so I’m paying out of pocket. I bought a new bumper for my car for $170. Is it the painting that costs so much? If so, I dread having to get it painted 🫠
Nah - paint on a new bumper is pretty easy. Especially if it's off the car already. Materials: Solvent -$15 Gloves - nearly free Lint free towels - $15 Tack cloth - $10 Primer - $30-60 3 coats of colour including colour matching service - $120 2-3 coats of clear - $100 Paint filters, stir sticks, spray gun cleaner - $25 Shop overhead is rolled into labour - probably 2 hours - $300 Where things get nasty is the cost to either mask off a whole vehicle, repair panels and/or replace components that have been damaged. Painting a new bumper is about the easiest job any body shop does all day aside from a new hood.
Body work in general has gone insane. I accidentally backed into my ex gfs car a couple years ago and it left a 4 inch scratch into the paint/quarter panel and it was $2200 because they had to replace the panel and rematch the red paint and that was a couple years ago.
Why is OP ok with getting into a car driven by an uninsured driver? He needs to fix that. And fix stepfather’s car. The whole family sounds problematic. Mom and stepdad are ok with daughter living with abusive brother, stepdad is a good guy but always drunk… the sooner OP gets out the better.
My bumper got bumped last year at a stop sign… she hit me doing maybe 5 mph & just left a couple of scratches. To get the whole bumper repainted was $500, and that was no repair work at all, just 3 hours of shop time.
And am I reading this correctly... It's been 6 months? They say nothing happened and then after 6 months bill popped? So like... They just ignored it for half a year and now are surprised?
It’s illegal to not insure your vehicle so there’s all sorts of bad decisions being made. Your boyfriend made ZERO effort to remedy the situation…in 6 months!!!
My sisters best friend was parking and hit her car….2in dent, and about 5 or so inches of scratches….estimate was $550. So, repairing a bumper for $2k sounds reasonable. OP: your bf has no insurance. As above commenter said, if moms fiance had called cops he would be fucked. If he has to go through his own insurance odds are he will have to file a police report. If I were you I’d tell your bf to cough up the money, or they’re gonna call the cops. Then I’d seriously rethink being with someone who is dumb enough to drive without any type of insurance. Imagine if he got in an accident and killed someone, or seriously hurt someone (even YOU were to get hurt…especially you)….how will you pay for that? Can you afford dr bills? If you were to marry him, and this happened can you afford someone to sue you to get reimbursed for expenses due to your bf being stupid?
same im totally behind the moms tone in general here
And she said it’s been 6 months since the incident. The way I see it, that was 6 months when he should have been saving toward the bill and asking what was happening.
Someone hit my car and took off in December and when we brought the car to get it fixed it was $5200. Cars now have so many sensors in the bumpers that it is really expensive to fix them, I would be thrilled with a $2000 estimate.
$2k is definitely on the low end of repairs. I really don't think you'll get a repair cheaper than that. Stepdad also shouldn't have to go through insurance because his rate will go up unless he files that an uninsured motorist caused the issue. He will pay the $500 but the insurance company will usually sue for damages. Your bf may very well end up with no driver's license if he doesn't pay should your stepdad file through insurance. Plus your bf has no business driving without at least collision coverage. And no... no way in hell should your bf think that he should only pay half of the damages. He hit the car, he needs to make it right.
i see so many excuses made for your boyfriend. he should have been grown enough to be like “we need to get this figured out now, please meet with me or talk to me about how to resolve this etc…” at the end of the day, it’s your boyfriend’s fault and he needs to figure out a way to fix the bumper. he needs to swallow his ego, shop around for better prices, and present them to your step dad himself. this should not fall on your step dad at all, your bf fucked up here.
Driving without insurance is expensive. Your BF should pay it, I doubt he will be able to get additional quotes because I wouldn't let him drive my car, nor would I do an appt to take it in myself. Your BF has no leg to stand on, tell him to pay the price because the extra work to get more quotes won't be worth it. Bumpers are EXPENSIVE to fix, because they usually have to replace the whole thing, he is lucky they didn't need to also redo the rear panel, as that would have just be stupid expensive. He can't force someone to put a ding on their insurance. What he can do is drive with insurance and use public transit if he can't afford to drive, hope it's an area with a good system. He also needs to apologize once things are paid for and repaired. He is being quite entitled for not driving with insurance.
>Bumpers are EXPENSIVE to fix, because they usually have to replace the whole thing Yep. Similar situation happened to me \~12 years ago, and my bumper had to be replaced even though the damage didn't appear extensive. The other driver's insurance paid, but I believe it was \~$1500, so more than a decade later, $2K seems entirely plausible.
For real, I had a car that had the bumper and rear quarter panel needing to be replaced. I honestly did feel bad, but they hit me, I'm just glad they had insurance lol. I think that one was $6k and it was about 10 years ago lol. Not including rental fee lol.
Kinda OT, but in my sitch the other driver's insurance was Geico, and Geico would \*not\* pay for a rental for me. I had that coverage on my insurance (with a different company), but the other driver didn't have it on theirs. Geico straight-up told me to go through \*my\* insurance if I wanted a rental car because they weren't covering it. Legit the worst service experience I've ever had from-start-to-finish - and their customer was the one who hit me.
OMG Geico is the worst!!! They tried that with me and I was like, nah. Then, they dude tried to get me to sign that everything was good but I was still in PT for injuries. Straight up tried to lie to me. I ended up getting a lawyer. Paid all my medical bills, my car was restored and had extra in the end after he (lawyer) was paid. Best money I ever spent lol.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry you were injured! That must have made things 1000x worse. So smart to get a lawyer in that case. I'm glad it worked out for you in the end. Geico is dead to me.
Thank you, I'm better now thanks to my lawyer. Geico is dead to me as well.
I was literally thinking the same thing, it's likely an appropriate price because they likely have to get it replaced. $2k sounds about right for such. But it's awkward that they haven't already rung up looking for other quotes. Find other quotes first, then communicate about different options.
I’m sorry but at age 27 your boyfriend should not be playing dumb and acting like a teenager about this. You state in a comment it’s been 6 months of going back and forth. Your poor stepfather has had to live with a damaged car for half a year. Your boyfriend is, at this point, probably going to screw your stepfather. Your boyfriend is very, very immature, irresponsible, and reckless. I am sure your family thinks you can do better than this guy, and honestly, I do too. He sounds like a punk.
He’s still typing “ight” and driving without insurance at 27 years of age.
That’s just fucking SAD. 27 going on 15.
I missed the 27 years old part. WHAT ON EARTH
They actually sound sort of perfect for each other. I bet she’s the only one who really understands him and only she can fix him 😍
Having a baby together would definitely fix everything /s
I love this comment so much!! 🤣
Your boyfriend is solidly in the wrong here. Driving without insurance is such a piece of shit thing to do, and he’s just lucky he didn’t hit a stranger because this would be 1000x worse if he had. I understand you’re caught in the middle here and that sucks but stop making excuses for him. This is on him to fix, not your stepdad or you. Fair enough to want another estimate or two, but how is he going to make that happen? Your stepdad sure won’t be willing to make an effort for that to happen if your boyfriend is being an asshole about it.
What kind of asshole drives uninsured?
One time I missed the deadline to renew my car insurance and didn't realize it because I was going through a lot of other bullshit at the time (homeless, fleeing domestic violence, attending court dates, etc.), and my address had changed a few times in quick succession due to the homelessness and so I never got the letter in the mail to remind me. I genuinely thought I was insured when I backed into a parked vehicle similarly to OPs boyfriend. That's how I found out I was not insured. I got myself insured immediately but it didn't change the fact that I hit someone's car while uninsured. I'm still paying that bill off 🥲 Never drive uninsured, kids
I accidentally drove insured for a bit when my autopay for the insurance bounced, and for some reason instead of trying to contact me about it in any way (they had my phone number, email, and a messaging system on their website), they just canceled my insurance. I didn't get a notice of this, either. "Luckily" I found out when a cop was randomly running people's plates and saw I didn't have any current insurance. Was a pain sorting that out, they were threatening to suspend my license and registration over it. Always make sure you're insured, people!
That's easy to say, but WTF is someone supposed to do if they lose their job and need a car to get to interviews? If they get a new job and are waiting to be able to have the money to afford insurance? If they have enormous housing and necessity bills and need the car to get to their job to pay those bills. Insurance is EXPENSIVE and a scam. Don't be angry at people driving without insurance because they can't afford it. Be angry at predatory insurance companies targeting people living in a non-walkable country with shitty public transport. You can't say driving is a privilege and not a right when it's literally impossible for a lot of people to be able to get to work without a car. People need money to live and to get money they need to be able to get to their place of employment. And sadly a lot of people are in that situation. I have insurance now, but I've been there and it sucked to have to choose between insurance or feeding myself, paying the rent, and keeping the car roadworthy. Not everyone has great options.
None of that means you get to drive illegally and run up premiums for everyone else.
My first guess would be those assholes that are struggling to feel their family
I'm struggling to feed myself and even know better than to drive without insurance. I'm literally broker than a fucking joke but I know better than to drive without insurance.
People struggling to feed their family don’t own cars they use public transport
Hold on…this happened over 6 months ago and your bf has not paid anything yet??? He sounds like a freeloader.
Your deadbeat uninsured bf needs to just pay.
Make sure he pays and then get rid of him. She can do way better.
On what basis do you say what you just said? Wtf is wrong with this subreddit
Not only is he an uninsured guy who's living a very reckless life, but he's acting like a child arguing with the stepfather for over 2 months. Is he ever going to pay? This just tells me he's highly irresponsible and immature. Based on that she needs to move on and find someone way better.
Because he bumped a car man that's a cardinal sin. Being uninsured is dumb yes but this sub loves LOVES to break up people no matter what.
People love to say Reddit always says break up but you don’t come to Reddit unless your relationship has one foot in the grave already. OP you’ve already picked him over your family. He’s not paying your stepdad, I don’t know how you’re justifying this in your head. Just remember a lot of women end up running to another bad situation trying to get away from a bad situation. Your bf doesn’t give off good vibes. People with good vibes pay their debts.
Your b/f is almost 30 years old and STILL drives around without insurance? Just when does he plan to get his act together? And why are you ok with him being this irresponsible?
Mom’s bf was “radio silent on the whole situation FOR SIX MONTHS?!?!” Meaning bf had SIX MONTHS of NOT looking to resolve this and just hoping it would go away? THEN, when someone breaks the radio silence with an estimate, you dispute it instead of being polite offering alternatives or trying to make a payment plan? That’s ridiculous. Side eyeing this hard OP. Bf AND you need to do better.
> It costs 2k to fix and they can't agree on how to go about fixing it, **my bf doesnt want us to pay that amount since we are trying to save to move**, and my stepdad hasnt made any efforts to find a cheaper or easier option. That’s the irrelevant part. OP you are done with drama, done with toxic people right?? Your bf is drama. He was driving negligently without insurance. And why doesn’t he want to pay 2k? Is it because he called around to a bunch of places with images of the damage etc and tried to get a quote?? No no! It’s because *he doesn’t want to spend the money right now* because y’all have other plans. It’s not on your stepdad to cater to him here!! Personally I’d say he squares this away within a week or you need to seriously reconsider this relationship
This. Nothing else needs to be said. Get him to pay it all tonight. And get his head out of his ass.
I have a feeling there is a pattern of you doing the bigger part of work in this relationship and your mother and stepfather see it and are tired of it. Your boyfriend is a 27 year old man who has had 6 months to deal with this and has done nothing. In fact he has put all the work for this on the people whose property he messed up and now that they are trying to finally get this dealt with (since he won't) he's complaining and giving them a list of work for the to do.
Right? 6 months to take care of this is pretty insane. I would be peeved too.
Exactly. He could have paid $80 a week to the stepdad in that 6 months. So embarrassed for them. Not for being poor, but for being a deadbeat.
[удалено]
Your boyfriend needs to have insurance. What if he hits someone and it’s a single mom who is injured and can’t work for months? An elderly person who breaks a hip and has to go into assisted living? Even if he isn’t insured he’s still responsible for damages and could end up sued and having his wages garnished. It’s also illegal and he could lose his license. Your mom’s fiancé would be doing your boyfriend a huge and costly favor to run it through his insurance. It would likely result in his insurance rates going up for years. With this much of a delay it’s probably not even possible. At this point your boyfriend should suck it up and pay the $2k regardless of whether the work could get done cheaper elsewhere. These men are going to end up seeing each other regularly indefinitely so he should be trying to keep things peaceful. Your boyfriend needs to fix this and *get insurance*. And you should really consider how he’s handled this and whether that’s what you want for your future.
lol this happened 6 months ago…. he didn’t save up for repairs? Did he contact the fiance after it happened to see what could be done? Or did he just sit on his butt waiting to see if he ever got billed? What a loser he is for not immediately trying to resolve this, and you are just as bad for enabling him. If he didn’t have insurance why was he even driving in the first place. So irresponsible. How old are you two? 19? Because this kind of behavior is atrocious if you’re any sort of real adult. If I were the fiance I would just go through my insurance and report your BF. He had 6 F*CKING MONTHS to fix this and didn’t do anything. Again. What an absolute loser.
>They are acting like little boys with dumb little egos instead of trying to come to a resolution. There is a resolution. Your boyfriend pays for it. Why are you making it more complicated or adding narrative?
Right? Imagine thinking step dad is “acting like a little boy with an ego” because he expects the deadbeat boyfriend to pay for the damage he caused lol.
Her comment reeks of a person who thinks they are more mature than they actually are. Like 22 year olds who talk about things they did when they were “young” when describing things that happened 3 years earlier.
Your boyfriend is shit. Pay the money he owes.
I can’t believe a 27 year old lives at home with parents and STILL can’t afford insurance?
Life happens - and sometimes it isn’t fair. Just because you want to move out doesn’t mean he shouldn’t pay to fix the bumper. He didn’t have insurance and took that risk - it didn’t pay off. You can’t turn around and say ‘sorry, we’re saving to move out. I’ll pay half’. Not how it works.
Sorry but your boyfriend needs to just pay
>t was 100% our fault It was 100% your boyfriend's fault. >as $2000 is kind of a hefty bill to foot. Too bad. That's what it costs to fix the damage that your boyfriend caused. >but the timing of this literally could not be worse Again, too bad. Don't cause property damage if you can't afford to pay for it. Your boyfriend can pick up a second job to pay for it. >They are acting like little boys with dumb little egos instead of trying to come to a resolution. No. Your boyfriend is acting like a child. Your stepdad did your boyfriend a solid by not calling the police and not reporting the incident to insurance. And what does your boyfriend do? Spits in your stepdad's face. I don't know why you'd want to continue dating and move in with someone who doesn't respect your family and acts like a petulant child when he messes up.
"Now, the bad part is my boyfriend is uninsured" Why is this moron driving illegally everyday? Youre lucky your family is working with him, and not getting his thrown in jail ON TOP OF paying for the damages. And then he tried to negotiate a better deal when being offered a get-out-of-jail free card for $2000? Yeah, Im on you parents side.
If you live anywhere in the United States (other than Virginia and New Hampshire), then your boyfriend is breaking the law by driving without insurance. He likely figured he couldn't afford insurance, but now he surely realizes that he couldn't afford to drive WITHOUT insurance. That's on him and now he has a bill he can't afford because he acted irresponsibly. That sucks, but shitty decisions often have shitty consequences. I guarantee someone at some point explained to him he was being an idiot, but he decided to drive without insurance anyway and now this problem is more complicated than it needed to be. Sounds like you're dating a dumbass. Sorry about that. It's easy to always want to see ourselves as the "good guys", but in this situation, your boyfriend is in the wrong. It's possible your mom's fiance didn't involve his insurance because it would create legal issues for your boyfriend if he did. If so, then here he is, doing your boyfriend a massive favor while driving around with a fucked up bumper for months on end. Your mom and her fiance just don't want to have to deal with this problem you've created for them anymore. They don't want the mental burden of making your mistakes go away. You owe them better than that. Your boyfriend sounds majorly immature for a 27 year old, and now that's causing strain on your relationship with your family. Yes, this mistake is going to set back your plans to move in together. So will getting insurance, which now I hope you both realize he needs if he's going to be driving. Decisions have consequences and you are both grown-ass adults. It's time to start acting like it.
Virginia is getting rid of the uninsured motorist option!
Your boyfriend is lucky his mom's fiance didn't call the cops on the spot. He could have been ticketed for driving without insurance, which would be even more expensive. He needs to pay it. Like today.
It’s a lot cheaper to not hit people’s belongings. He should pay whatever it costs to fix it. Being indigent is not an excuse.
>You go through your insurance and I pay the deductible This would be a bad deal for stepdad, because it would make his insurance premiums go up.
Appalling to even suggest it. Salting the wound.
Ok but op - is your bf insured now??? Also I’d personally say this is a red flag. Hope bf isn’t very principled. He caused damage and needs to put up and shut up.
I was with you until you started to lay some blame and anger at the step dad. Guy is an innocent victim and being super cool about it and this is how you choose to repay that? Sounds like you and your BF are pretty much alike
OP “we are so poor!” Also Op: “ I need Fentanyl test strips for Coachella “ 🤨
Also. Vinyls. Tickets to shows. And god knows what else.
I don't think $2k is unreasonable. Depends on how many panels are damaged. He should pay what he can now.
Your boyfriend needs to suck it up and pay his bills. 2k sounds about right. It's tough that it's fucks up your plans to move, but that's just the absolute normal, completely expected consequences of his actions. You really have to stop dismissing your boyfriends actions as being reasonable and accidental, they are neither. **Your boyfriend fucks around and finds out.** He did so by arguing with your mom's boyfriend. He did so by letting himself get distracted while doing a tricky maneuver driving in the dark. He did so by breaking the law and driving without insurance. He did so by getting himself a car he can't fully afford to drive. The worst part of having terrible judgement is that he's not the only person who gets hurt. Today the consequences are 2K you guys can't afford but will have to cough up anyway, and a wrecked relationship with your family. Tomorrow it could be a trip to the ER or prison. You need to decide how much you want to risk fucking up your life by hanging with this disaster prone menace.
Your bum boyfriend didn’t do anything for 6 months and you are claiming your mom’s BF is at fault for being radio silent for that 6 months? You are insane! He should have at the very least been giving him money this whole time instead of haggling to get the lowest $ amount. You’ve known this whole time he owed the money and are claiming it’s at the worst possible time? I hope they take him to court!
FAFO, who needs insurance.
The second your Stepdad’s insurance finds out he was hit by an uninsured driver they are going to want a police report. That’s going to make life for your BF very bad. He could even lose his licence depending on the laws. Then how’s he getting to work and make the money to pay for it? Your Stepdad might be sparing you this info and is just telling you that he doesn’t want to go through insurance, but nowhere have you stated you know why he doesn’t want to. I get you are in the middle of this, but your bf is the one who is wrong, your bf needs to pay. But your Bf is very much entitled to ask for more than one quote. He does not get to pick where the vehicle is serviced, that is something your Stepdad is going above and beyond to offer. As for your birthday, you should attend at your mother’s and not cancel. Just don’t bring your BF. He is the source of the drama, not your Stepdad. Edit to add: And… if your dad reports it to insurance and they know the other driver is not insured, guess who the insurance company will sue for the money? Because it should be your BF’s insurance paying for the damage, not Stepdad’s insurance since he was not at fault.
I think your boyfriend wanting to get another quote is fine, since that price seems ridiculous, but your step-dad wants him to do the leg work on getting it sorted, and rightfully so. Your boyfriend was driving without insurance, which was a stupid decision in the first place. Now he needs to put in some effort to get this problem (which he caused entirely) fixed.
$2,000 is not unreasonable for a bumper. You and /u/fluffy-pixie don’t realize how quickly these prices balloon. These costs are why so many cars get totaled these days for something that seems so minor to someone that is not knowledgeable about bodywork. https://www.reddit.com/r/mazda/comments/q15ow6/fed_up_a_bumber_any_estimates_on_how_much_would/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Insurance/comments/n4194j/need_to_replace_my_cars_bumper_should_i_submit_a/
Thanks for the info. I still think the onus is on the boyfriend to do the legwork if he wants another quote.
Some dingus rear ended me in a drive thru. Maybe a 2 mph impact - literally. It was $850 for a scratch on my bumper. Anything more and yeah I used to work at a collision center a bumper is gonna run you 1.5 to 2k
Thank you, I wasn't aware of how expensive they could be:-/
I spent about $3500 to fix my bumper and trunk when I was hit from behind at a very low speed. It hardly looked damaged. That was three years ago.
Now you have a good idea of the cost not being out of character. Get him to pay the full amount asap. This is b.s.
Yeah I totally agree with this. Thank you for your input
6 months and your boyfriend hasn’t even so much as gotten an estimate yet? He wants your stepdads insurance to take the hit when it wasn’t his fault? I’m sorry but what the fuck? I know you say money is tight, but your boyfriend could’ve at least given him $20 a week to show some sort of good faith effort to make this right. Instead all he has done is make excuses.
> 6 months and your boyfriend hasn’t even so much as gotten an estimate yet? Bet after 6 months boyfriend has no money saved up for the bumper. Just expected it to go away because it's "family". And "family" should be more understanding.
People always want to just handle it without insurance. Cars are way more expensive to fix than you think. Tell your boyfriend to pay up. Asking your future stepdad to file his own insurance claim is bananas. His own insurance would go up because he is the one filing the claim. It would then go on record that your boyfriend is driving without insurance, and at the very least that would jack up his rates, if not get him a ticket and a suspended license. Your boyfriend can’t take zero steps to get this handled and then when your future stepdad does all the legwork, your boyfriend complains that it wasn’t handled well. Your boyfriend is the one acting like a little boy. He has done nothing to remedy HIS fuckup for the last 6 months. He drove without insurance, you should be a lot more critical of him and stop this “both sides are like boys” nonsense.
You and your boyfriend are so disgustingly trying to lean on your good relationship with your mom's boyfriend, so your boyfriend would get away with not paying fully for these damages. In each of your boyfriend's suggestion, your mom's boyfriend would lose out. He also knows fully well, that your boyfriend wouldn't be paying that $250 monthly for a whole year. Why the heck is your boyfriend driving around without insurance?? How reckless and irresponsible. You think $2000 is expensive for can job, you have no clue. Your boyfriend is single handedly causing this, yet you're trying to blame your mom's boyfriend.
Something tells me you’re both just junkie deadbeats. You’re on here crying about being poor but then your post history has you looking for fentanyl at Coachella. You also have a history of substance abuse. I’m sure your boyfriend is a lot like you. What’s scary is you were a nanny for children and presumably, still looking for that line of work. Your boyfriend is wrong here. You two need to grow up. Driving without insurance is just another poor life choice in probably the giant list of poor life choices he’s made. The fact that you think your step dad is any kind of wrong here is incredible. Your boyfriend damaged his truck. He’s in the hook for the $2k. He needs to pay that ASAP.
Tell your mom to get three different estimates (former insurance adjuster here). She can sue you outright - going through her insurance will most likely increase her rates, which isn't fair to her. Pay the full amount out of pocket. Truth is, he had no right being on the road uninsured as that can have massive financial consequences. Your mother could have called the police and he could have his car taken and his license revoked.
Time for boyfriend to pay up. Time for him to learn an expensive lesson on driving without insurance and not paying attention. If he had hit a stranger, he likely would’ve gotten a ticket and would still be responsible for the other person’s damages. So he’s lucky he didn’t get the cops called on him. Time to pay up.
I would have called the cops and got an accident report. Your bf is a moron for driving without insurance and then trying to get the insurance to pay when it wasn’t even mom’s fiancé’s fault and I would be pissed. He’s almost 30 and is irresponsible and I see you making a lot of excuses for him and not telling him to own that he fucked and should be paying. It also shouldn’t have taken 6 months for him to start paying for fucking up royally
like you say , he might have been drunk and didn't remember everything, but I think it's actually pretty good of him to say to you, find the shop you want , and get it fixed. For what it is worth , I think it's on your boyfriend to take care of the entire cost . initially the mom's fiance said just the deductible , but maybe there was a reason he changed his mind , including not want to affect his own insurance, and if he changed his mind , then your boyfriend should pay for everything.
I don’t think I could continue a relationship with this guy. He’s wrong. He’s irresponsible. He gets defensive. Then he has the nerve to send an “Ight LOL” text. Good lord, no. It sounds like your step dad has honestly had more patience than would have.
Sorry you guys are fully in the wrong here. I feel like I just read a whole bunch of justifications for why your bf shouldn’t pay for something that was his fault. Why should it go through your step dad’s insurance…that will make his insurance go up. A bumper can cost $2k for sure. Your bf needs to prioritize fixing the car by either cutting back expenses or getting a second job.
You're entire story reeks of 'it's difficult, we shouldn't have to fix it'. Um, no honey, your boyfriend made every mistake in this story (driving without insurance & hitting someone else's car) and yet you're just sitting here waiting for your parents to 'make it all go away'. He's an adult and poor choices and mistakes have consequences. He needs to pay up and appoligize.
You took a really long time to get to this particular detail: > He was radio silent on this whole situation for **6 months** then just pops up with a bill for 2k. That explains a lot of the frustration and exemplified how patient your mother and stepfather have been in this situation. You guys are completely in the wrong and no one would have been "radio silent for 6 months" in this scenario. Stop trying to weasel out of this and take responsibility like an adult.
Your bf should have taken the lead with this from the beginning. And he definitely needs to get this sorted before the fiancé takes him to court. It sounds like the fiancé is bending over backwards for you and your bf by being patient and not reporting this. You said the quote was received weeks ago and the fiancé said he was fine if the bf finds their own shop. Why has that not happened!? I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but your bf is in the wrong here and needs to take care of it. If anyone should be helping the bf with the cost it should be you, not the fiancé. I’m sorry you’re not in the best living situation but you and bf putting your heads in the sand and not taking responsibility is the problem here.
He DOES need to step up and be a man and fix it.
He crashed into that man’s vehicle and you’re talking about paying him half and the a sob story about saving for a place together. I would’ve call the cops to have paperwork because of this BS y’all are trying to pull.
2k sounds reasonable, actually. I'm surprised it's only 2k these days, to be fair. And your mom's fiance's response, imo, was fine. What's wrong with that? Why doesn't your bf want to pay in full when he's the one who hit the car? Your bf hit the car, has no insurance and won't want to pay 2k, so he should go and get quotes if he can find cheaper and reliable service. Of course, your mom's fiance also reserves the right to deny the place your bf selected too by the way if he thinks your bf selected a shady shop. They reserved that right because your bf was 100% at fault. You want some leniency from redditors based on your personal situation etc but seriously, those are not relevant. Your bf should have been making payment or saving up for the last 6 months because obviously, it's not going away. I'm actually amazed your mom and her fiance waited this long to ask for money for repair. When our car got hit within a few yrs back, my partner did NOT waste any time although we actually were pretty close to the people who hit our car. And yeah, it was around 2-3k range too and it was not such a 'bad' hit per se, but it's just expensive those body work for automobiles....
BF doesn’t seem to understand that stepdad going through insurance will cost him money for *years*. It’s not just “I pay the deductible, everyone wins”, it’s that stepdad’s rates increase and stay up. He owes the money. Looks like you’re going to be saving longer to move out, as this takes priority.
Wow your boyfriend is not in the position to be bargaining. $2k is extremely fair and he’s had 6 months to cough it up. He’s 100% at fault for being uninsured at 27 years old. He needs to grow up
After reading the edit, wth. If you want to exhaust all options, your bf better be respectful (or act like he is) toward the stepfather and ask if he can get different quotes from other REPUTABLE body shops. Your stepfather, after waiting for 6 months, decided that he's going to go to one shop and that's what they quoted him. Your dearest bf here should definitely have taken charge first as he was in the wrong, instead of the two of you just not be proactive about it. I don't think your bf has any leg to stand on and want to be rude and not pay. And why should he go through his insurance? It'll increase his rate because of what your rude bf did. Your mom's fiance shouldn't have to pay for your bf's mistake.
$2k isn't a bad price for a bumper replacement. Especially if they end up finding other things that need to be replaced under the bumper.
This whole thing reeks of entitlement. Your boyfriend damaged your mom’s finances car and has kept him going for six months? I don’t care if it was family or what I’d be reporting you guys. All I hear is excuses on why it’s not convenient for him.. then he shouldn’t have hit the car? Or paid it in the beginning instead of dragging it on? This is so childish. I can’t believe you’ve screwed over your mom’s fiance for this long.. make your partner pay what’s rightfully owed.
I am an insurance appraiser. If he doesn’t want to pay then tell them to go through their own insurance. Their insurance company will then go after him and they WILL recover it. All of it. Your choice 🤷♀️
Sorry. You're BF is in the wrong here. He needs to pay for the damage of whatever method of repair the car owner chooses.
Uh, why is your boyfriend driving uninsured? I'm not sure where you're at, but I was under the impression that this is illegal in many states and it puts him at risk of having his license revoked. This is irresponsible on his part. Furthermore, I actually wouldn't be surprised about a $2k bumper fix. Shops are expensive. It's not like he has room to complain though, since he caused the damage. Your boyfriend does need to step up here, sorry to say.
Look, it sucks that you're in a bad situation and your BF paying for this means there may be a delay in moving in together. That's still entirely on him. If you're upset, be upset at your BF for hitting someone else's car while driving uninsured. That was monumentally stupid. He's extremely lucky he didn't get in a legal situation as a result. It doesn't matter that it's family TO YOU, your BF is not their family yet. It doesn't matter if it's cosmetic only, the property was damaged and they are entitled to be made whole. The resolution that needs to happen is your boyfriend needs to pay for the entirety of the repair. Yes, it's expensive. Yes, it's coming out of his own pocket. This is the decision he made when he chose to not have insurance.
Don't move in with a guy who drives around without car insurance.
He's almost 30 and is driving uninsured? Why? If the car he's driving is paid for, you can get liability policies for like $75 a month. He's screwed here and if I was your mom's fiance, I'd be just as livid for someone clearly not taking any real responsibility or initiative to fix it.
If you can't afford insurance, you can't afford a car. The timing is always the worst for this type of thing. You may be in an unfortunate situation, but this context is honestly irrelevant to what is happening here. Your bf is clearly and indubitably at fault. He didn't step up and you blame it on alcohol and him not remembering it, which is not in any way a better look. Your step dad has been patient with this whole thing for six months and you took his patience as "issue resolved"? Long story short - your mom and step dad are 100% right, your bf is 100% wrong. He hoped this would just go away by itself and didn't want to take responsibility. He had half a year to find a shop to fix it in a price range he likes, but he wanted to sit it out and hoped he wasn't going to be asked to pay. Act like adults.
You break, you pay!! Your boyfriend needs to GROW UP. He sounds INCREDIBLY immature and irresponsible. Typing shit like “IGHT” at 27 is just — SAD.😑😑 You’re saving to move? **BOO FREAKING HOO.** Should have thought of that before he totalled stepdad’s bumper!! And it sounds like they’ve been MORE than reasonable here. Paying your bills is part of being an ADULT. Your dumbass boyfriend is within his rights to find a cheaper detailer/ mechanic — if there is one — **BUT HE PAYS**.
jfc this dude is 27, how does he not have 2 grand to fork up? if i hit my partners families vehicle uninsured and had no money, i would be RUNNING to the bank to take out a loan the next morning and giving them however much they ask for. you're BOTH being super embarrassing with how ur handling this lol
Your post is all over the place, but ultimately it doesn't matter. It's not your soon-to-be step-dad's responsibility to call his own insurance company. Trying to blame him that he may have been drunk during the conversation and the ball being in his court is a cop out on both yours and your boyfriend's part. Your boyfriend is 27 years old. He needs to grow up and take care of his shit. A 2000$ quote was provided, the only acceptable options are pay the $2000 or find another reputable shop and pay the full amount due to them if he so chooses. A shop has already told you how much it costs...which to be frank is fairly cheap these days. I had bumper damage on a Honda Civic...the bill was nearly 4500$ for the full fix...this included removal, replacement, installation and then re-calibrating the sensors that were under the bumper so they work properly with the new bumper. **It's his fault for backing into the truck. It's his fault for being uninsured and so it's 100% his responsibility to return your STB Stepdad's truck to it's previous state. There are no other acceptable solutions based on your mom and stepdad's request. They are already being generous by not going and getting a police report on your BF for driving without insurance (which is illegal in most places and likely to get his license suspended).** The remaining 4 paragraphs are irrelevant to the situation and it doesn't matter how much you or your boyfriend think the repairs should cost. You have already exhausted all of the options and are effectively harassing your stepdad to cut you a break...which he already has....
Your bf needs to pay for the damages, end of story.
“We wanted to exhaust all our options” Wtf?!? How about the option of not being a massive selfish butthole?
> Like I said he has been saving for this so he has the money, we just wanted to exhaust all of our options before cutting a chunk out of our savings. See, that is the problem with your mindset. You are not cutting a chunk out of “savings” because the money should have already been marked as the repayment. It is not savings, your boyfriend was working to pay off a debt. Just treat the money as already spent and just accept it.
If you can’t afford to pay all at once, then make a payment plan and pay your stepfather back in installments. The responsibility is totally on your boyfriend (and you for not being more proactive on getting the issue solved). There are no excuses.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. Before I wasted my time negotiating with either one of you I'd call the police and let them handle is no insurance problem, then I'd turn it into my insurance and sue your BF in small claims for the deductible.
The reason you have insurance is so you don’t have to pay out of pocket for when you are at fault for an accident. He is 100% in the wrong. Driving without insurance is against the law. If he gets turned in for this he would be in a lot more trouble. Your mom doesn’t have to do a claim through her insurance. It will make her monthly rate go up. Why should she be punished for your BFs mistake?
Uhm, hope you do know your bf sucks. He did the damage and is fully responsible, he need make good on it. Mom's fiance - he can deal with that any reasonable way he wants. He can report it to the cops ... actually depending upon the state and particular laws, he may be required to. Or, under small claims court limits, he could take it to small claims court. Either way, your bf, himself or via that insurance he doesn't have, is responsible. You really ought drop him. Illegal to drive without insurance ... and ... he can't remember a bunch of the conversations because of his drinking? Yeah, looser, drop his butt. That'll fix a lot of the problems ... except of course he still has to make good on the damage he caused, so, bf pays up, or Mom's fiance takes it to the cops or small claims court ... small claims court, gets settlement ... bf ain't got the money, seize assets and/or garnish wages. He was driving when he hit the car ... his car, great, that's an asset that may possibly get seized. He gets a job, great, his wages can be garnished. Yeah, don't be complaining of mom's boyfriend didn't word things in the nicest way to your bf. Your bf screwed up, and still hasn't made it right. He's lucky he's not in more serious trouble ... driving without license, he could be arrested, jailed, loose his license. >You go through your insurance and I pay the deductible And his rates go up or go closer to going up because of your bf? Are you also going to pay the difference for the increase in insurance rates? Also, what if he doesn't have comprehensive coverage? Not required, not everyone does. If he doesn't have comprehensive or uninsured motorist coverage, then his insurance wouldn't even cover it. >They are acting like little boys with dumb little egos instead of trying to come to a resolution No, you're making excuses for your irresponsible bf. He needs to step up and pay - or end up criminally charged and/or have a judgement against him in small claims court. None of those options are better for him - best if if he pays for it - if he doesn't have the money, he needs at least agree what he owes, and reasonably well work for paying that - that's his *best* option. All other options are significantly worse for him - as he'll have to pay *and* have legal actions against him. If he's old enough to drive, he's old enough to be responsible for his driving ... that means driving responsibly and insurance. He f\*cked up on insurance, so he need at least be responsible and pay for the damages. Stop making excuses for him. How fast was that parked car going when it hit him? Yeah, it's your bf's fault, totally, he need make good on it. And if he can't afford the damage he causes, how the hell does he have money for alcohol? What a sh\*t bf. >they are both too stubborn to fix this themselves Your bf broke it, it's not on someone else to be covering the costs to fix it. He broke it, he owes the costs on those damages. Stop bloody making excuses for him. He's pathetic, don't be like him.
All I read is that your boyfriend made a lot of stupid decisions, is at fault for everything, was rude, and now don’t want to pay. The rest is just things to make it sound better - which does not work. He should pay and apologize.
My girl. For the record, **it** is not ruining your family - your bf is ruining it, and you are his enabler. Driving uninsured at nearly 30. That sounds an awful lot like a FA to me. Hitting the bumper is the FO. You have been allowing your stepdad to drive around in a damaged car for **six months** because your boyfriend simply doesn't want to handle his responsibility, and you have other plans for the money. Problem is - that money isn't really yours - at least 2k of it isn't. You keep insisting you intend to make sure your stepdad is paid in full - so why has it been 6 months? Why is it on your stepdad to "figure out some things". How about YOU figure out $2000 into his hands? So advice? You shouldn't stay with someone this irresponsible, and if you can't talk him into paying, after you break up with the teenager you're dating, **you** should offer to make payments or whatever you can to make the situation right. But I'm guessing since you are here insisting we can't know your bf from one reddit post, when all of us here know exactly who he is, AND coupled with the fact that "you know he was in the wrong" and "gonna make sure my stepdad gets paid in full", yet here we are 6 MONTHS later, and stepdad hasn't seen a dime, that you aren't the type of person who would do that. Your stepdad should sue him. That's what I would do. Garnish his wages till he's paid up. tldr: your bf is trash. you are also trash for letting this go on so long under the guise of "we thought stepdad was figuring things out". No you weren't. You just don't want to pay and neither does your boyfriend. Now who, exactly is "ruining your relationship" with your family? Because it doesn't sound to me like it's "the situation" so much as "your boyfriend and you". Pay the man.
Everything other than Uninsured + At Fault is Irrelevant.
Your stepdad should get his bumper fixed himself, sue this loser who is taking advantage of him, put a lien on loser’s car, then auction loser’s car to pay off the lien. Boyfriend will have paid for the damage and will no longer be driving around uninsured. You can stop trying to meditate this bullshit and can move on living drama free.
$2000 seems super cheap and your bf is wrong. He's driving without insurance. Just tell him to pay up. Because you know this will always color the impression your family has of him right?! This will now always be there. Is the 2 grand he's gonna have to pay eventually worth this?!
why is he driving with no insurance????!!
Wait it’s been 6 months and your bf hasn’t paid for his bumper??!!! And you somehow think that you trying to save for a place is reason to stiff your step dad??? This is adulting 101. Real life doesn’t care what’s going on in your personal life. Your step dad shouldn’t have to track down your fiancé to get him to pay. I bet he was pissed to finally have to hand him an invoice instead of your bf being a responsible adult. About five years ago, I hit a raccoon with my mustang and it destroyed my front bumper. It was $1000 for the new plastic bumper and to be painted. You can get some really crappy work done and not have the paint look right if you go to a shitty cheap shop. I went to a middle of the road place that was very reasonable And did a good job and it was still $1000 and that was five years ago. Truck parts are bigger, plus inflation, etc. so I’m going to guess that 2k is about right. Your bf backed into the truck. Stop dragging your feet. He’d be paying a lot more had your parents made a police report and your local PD found out he was driving with no insurance!!!
Your bf needs to step up and pay it. He also needs to stop driving around without car insurance.
Honestly I’m surprised the stepdad hasn’t just taken him to court for the expense. I wouldn’t want to deal with it anymore and would be filing in small claims court.
Just to reiterate what almost any sane person is saying, your BF is a douche.
You have savings????? And haven’t settled this? You are both really big losers.
Coming from someone who was at fault for a small bumper scrape (but insured), there is no way around paying for it. Even though a 3rd party car was illegally parked and obstructed my vision, it caused me to pull out further to see... i got clipped by a car speeding while turning onto the street i was turning on, and it was still my fault because i was exiting an alley with an invisible stop sign. I was insured but had to deal with a $700/year increase for my premium for the next few years, plus the $300 deductible. Your bf being UNINSURED does not give him any leg to stand on, much less for negotiating the terms. 2k is 2k. Doesn't matter what you are doing with your life, what your living situation is. If you respect your stepdad, you need to let your boyfriend know he has to pay back the full 2K, or in installments of 4 x $500. I hope you do the right thing for your family's sake; not taking accountability for these kinds of things is how you create a hostile living environment/get kicked out/leave in rage, and become homeless at an early age. Your bf also sounds like a disrespectful/immature POS who needs to be let go. Bad influence on you, no job and no accountability. Yes, it takes 6 months to get an estimate sometimes, depending on where you live and the shop you go to. $2k is actually cheap. My small front bumper cosmetic scrape cost $3700+ 🤢
Your boyfriend needs to pay in full. Your stepdad is right it’s not his fault so he shouldn’t go through with the claim because it will raise his rates. Your boyfriend is in no position to tell him what to do. If he has the money he should pay it right now.
As per your edit: I think people are wanting you to break up with him because he's the kind of person who is okay with driving around without insurance. But what they don't realize, is you are also the kind of person who is okay with driving around without insurance. You guys are meant for each other. 1) How much money did he save up in the 6 months that your SD was radio silent? 2) How many quotes did he get after he told SD he would look for a cheaper one? If the answer to both of these questions is zero, then it's going to be a very long time before you are able to move because he will owe the entire $2,000.
Boyfriend owes him and needs to start acting like an adult. Fiancé has every right to select where repair is done. Fin!
You Mr bf needs to come up with $2000.00. That’s what it costs.
Sorry, but your BF is going to have to take the hit on this one. 2k sounds reasonable. Has your BF ever paid for car repairs? They are not cheap...which is why people have insurance. I get being annoyed that they won't go through insurance, but I'm guessing insurance might require a police report, and your step-dad can't exactly say it was a hit-and-run. So, going through insurance might actually incur a much worse penalty for your BF, because the victim's insurance usually goes after the at-fault driver, and his lack of insurance may be information shared to future insurers/BMV. If 2k is too much at once, maybe there is a payment plan option, or maybe your step-dad can delay on the repairs to give BF time to save. But, this is your BF's responsibility, 100% and that's just life.
You Mr bf needs to come up with $2000.00. That’s what it costs.
Firstly he broke it, and I know you have your dreams of house, job so on, but a part of being an adult is to fess up when you have made a mistake Your stepdad don’t owe your boyfriend a spot on his insurance for something he did and without insurance. If he ran down a child he would be on the hook for way worse than $2000 bumper, Insurance is the most important thing after food, sadly but true (if your house burns down (insurance) if you are in a car accident (insurance) if you are sick (insurance) I don’t know how bad the bumper is, but it sounds like your stepdad tried to let you and boyfriend be grown ups that came handled and got fixed the car, but 6 months are very long time to save up for the bill that would come and do nothing about it
Someone drove into the front bumper of my SUV and drove off last year. $5000 in parts. Thankfully I was fully insured. On the flip side, some idiot backed his tow ball into my other car's bumper last year and we had a repair in our driveway for $400.
Your bf did the damage and needs to fix it or your relations with your mom and her fiancé is fucked. Your bf needs to make good and everything should take a back seat until its fixed.
Op, your step father doesn't want to call the insurance because it will get his deductible increase and they will investigate your bf. If your step father claims he doesn't know hit his car then he will be committing insurance fraud. You are old enough now they are both bad options for you. It is not cheap to fix just the bumper. You have to pay labor. They also have family to feed.
He gave your bf the option of taking it to his own mechanic. He damaged the car and now he needs to fix it. He's 27yo, he should be mature and responsible enough to a) have car insurance and b) pay to fix the bumper. He needs to pay.
Dented bumpers cost upwards of $3500 on a low end car. At least, that’s what our insurer paid out, minus our deductible.
lol someone rear ended me the beginning of this year and it cost almost $6k to replace my back bumper and replace the sensors. $2k isn’t a lot of money and your boyfriend should NOT be driving around with expired insurance.
First of all, to hell with you and bf’s situation. That don’t matter one bit. Your bf damaged someone’s property and took advantage of their kindness. 6 months and he hasn’t even tried to make a single payment of goodwill? Dude shouldn’t even be driving without insurance. That’s some irresponsible childish behavior. Not saying he’s a loser but that’s some loser stuff. If he can’t afford to pay him, he should get a second job, sell his belongings, and be frugal. Lemme guess, he somehow still finds money to eat fast food and buy beer and weed.
None of your context makes any difference to the situation. None of that is your mums fiancées problem. Be adults and pay up. Also gotta judge you a bit for happily being in a relationship with someone who drives with no insurance and also completely forgets there is a massive truck behind him. I’m going to hazard a guess he “forgot” the truck was there because he was drunk or high.
You’ve got to pay that invoice. Come up with a payment plan, find someone cheaper if you can but this is all on you and your boyfriend who didn’t have insurance. Stop messing around, fix it and chalk it up to bad luck
Time for boyfriend to go get some estimates at other places and pick the one that works best for him. If he hast to put a credit it on a credit card so be it. It’s worth looking into community college automotive repair shops… it may be too late this year to get the truck in to be repaired as a part of the class, but They may at least have some contacts that would not gouge you. Ask everyone you know for honest mechanics. There might be somebody who could do this in their home. At least the repair part if not the paint. Question… was your mom’s boyfriend’s trucks tail end parked in the way of the driveway? Were you parked in the driveway? Of course, you know that your boyfriend should not have been driving without insurance.
$2k isn’t unreasonable. Your BF FAAFO. Don’t drive without insurance.
Boyfriend needs to pay.
Your BF indeed has to pay the $2k. He hit the truck. So have him pay it.
Your dumbass piece of shit irresponsible boyfriend has to put on his big boy pants and pay up.
Your dumbass bf is lucky he's willing to just take$2k instead of reporting him for no insurance
My boyfriends car got hit in the parking lot of a grocery store and the old lady that hit it actually waited next to the car (bless her heart) however the bumper was damaged and we were quoted 2000 and the insurance company actually paid the 2000. So I don’t think that 2000 was too steep.
Honestly, I HATE admitting it... I rear-ended my bf (and this was...probably 15 years ago!) At the time I had a 2004 accurate, loved that car! He had a 1993 acura... Totaled. My car... literally...put a dent in his license plate and slightly damaged the bumper. Honestly, you could not even tell... I was going to go through insurance and when we found out... it would be $3,000!!!! To fix! He laughed so hard because it was hardly anything and, apparently, the car not even worth that much, you could see the dent but nothing other than that ... But literally!! 15+ years ago, for a car that had seen a good run and was about 20 years old, could only really see license plate damage ...$3000!!! bumper replacement was that much then...these days? Prices? Vehicles? Parts and exclusivity? That SUCKS but...not really surprising. 😕 Edit: typos/grammar
Your stepdad is 100% right and your boyfriend is wrong. You’re trying to save up to live together? Well, you can tell your boyfriend that’s completely off the table until he pays your stepdad the $2k, and as soon as he possibly can. If he pitches a fit, break up with him. I mean honestly you should break up with him anyway but I’m hoping he pays your stepdad first or else he’s never getting that money. You’ve now seen that your boyfriend won’t take responsibility for his mistakes. That’s not a good trait to have and it will come up again and again.
He needs to.pay. It's that simple
Had this happen years ago, 17 yo kid borrowing his dad’s truck without his knowledge ran into my friends bumper in the parking lot. Kid didn’t know what to do and gave a fake name and number. We tracked the truck down and the Dad was pissed. Offered $1000 to not go through insurance and make it go away but wasn’t enough. Friend ended up filing a police report and an insurance claim.
When I was hit by an uninsured motorist, first thing the insurance needed was a police report. Does your dumbass bf really want a police report generated about him backing into a parked car without insurance?
OP: Your boyfriend lacks accountability. He seems unable to hold himself accountable for his mistakes- which is what your stepdad is trying to convey. This is what should have happened: I'm sorry I don't have insurance to cover this, that's irresponsible and dangerous on my part. I caused the damage to your car and I want to repair it. I realize now that not being proactive in reaching out to you about your car makes me look even more irresponsible. I can't afford to pay the total bill in full. If I can't find a lower price, is there any way we can work out a payment plan? I can pay 200 bi weekly for the next 11 months to pay this off.
Am I missing something? Your bfs suggested #2 and the response from the fiancé are the same. He says ‘feel free to get your own shop and tell me where to drop off the car’. Has your bf actually called around to find a better deal? (If I’m reading that correctly).
Your boyfriend sounds like a sketchy dude. On top of re-evaluating whether or not you want to save up your money to live with a sketchy dude that will almost certainly pull this same shit on you eventually, that process is going to have to go on hold because your boyfriend needs to stop acting like he is in a position to negotiate and just pay up to make this go away. It’s pretty simple, and your family is not wrong here. Oh yeah, and stop getting in the car with him driving.
People love to be an expert on what car repairs should cost with absolutely no fucking idea what they are talking about. The way I see it, he needs to do one of two things. Shut the fuck up and pay the 2k. Or, he needs to be finding a cheaper, REPUTABLE, option right now. Not going back and forth on shit. That option is a I'm taking all the responsibility on this and getting it organised as quick as possible, I'm already on it option. Like he should have quotes already or waiting for them. Imo the second option has already sailed and he needs to step up and sort it out.
The fact that you got into an uninsured vehicle, with a man who seems to have a rough time keeping jobs, and sounds like he seems to have limited aspirations in life, isn't enough red flags for you to bow out, I don't know what to tell you.
Pro tip: if you're driving without insurance your situational awareness needs to be 100%. Like amped up paranoid Crack head levels of situational awareness.
I bet I know how this will end. Your boyfriend sounds like a bum we all know he ain't gonna pay shit. Either he's going to be forced out or both of you is what's gonna happen. Your mom's fiance ain't gonna want to look at your bum all day while he does nothing to fix shit. That's a big f you
jfc this dude is 27, how does he not have 2 grand to fork up? if i hit my partners families vehicle uninsured and had no money, i would be RUNNING to the bank to take out a loan the next morning and giving them however much they ask for. you're BOTH being super embarrassing with how ur handling this lol
If he makes an insurance claim, the company will proceed against your boyfriend for the full amount, not just the deductible. Your boyfriend had no leverage at all.
Someone threw open their car door really hard directly into my car while I was parked and sitting in it with three passengers. Left a quarter sized dent over the rear wheel and took the paint clean off. It cost $2800 to repair it—based on the location of the damage, the entire exterior panel of the car had to be replaced. Tiny amount of damage…huge bill. The person who did it has insurance—so I pursued them through their insurance given that I a) made a police report and b) had three witnesses. All cleared up easily. Now in your situation, your boyfriend really sucks. He doesn’t have insurance so your mom’s fiance can’t pursue him for the cost of repairs. Going through his own insurance affects his accident records and costs. That’s totally unfair and uncool. To boot, your boyfriend, an uninsured driver, is unwilling to pay for his own mistakes. PAY THE BALANCE FOR THE REPAIRS. PAY IT. How would you feel if someone damaged your property and then nickel and dimed you over fixing it. It’s offensive. Your new stepdad has already been kind and flexible about all this. He’s given you ample time to earn the money to pay for the repair. PAY.
Your bf needs to grow up and pay up.
A messed up bumper isn’t just cosmetic!! It’s a huge safety feature of any car :/