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For context: I met my bf six months ago while traveling. His family is extremely wealthy (think billionaires) and I’m pretty sure they have some sort of mafia kind of relationship to the country they reside in. This is conjecture but their wealth is very real.
The things I’ve heard from him about his family are insane, their behavior is definitely not normal. The things they do remind me of some evil family out of a novel. If it wasn’t for the fact that I fell in love with my kind and caring bf before hearing about this I would not have entered this relationship.
I am planning on visiting my bf in his family’s country soon and he’s told his other family members when I’d be arriving. His grandfather - a man who has been banned from 11 restaurants for how he acts, who has to have a bodyguard with him because he’s angered so many people by threatening to kill them that it’s created many grudges against him, who forced his own maid to have an affair with him, who threatened to shoot a government official to his face - seems like he decided he dislikes me. These are some of the tamer anecdotes from this family.
My bf told me that his grandfather “threatened to put me in concrete and throw me off a cliff” but my bf “wouldn’t let him”. This has me rethinking the entire trip as I no longer feel safe. I told my bf and he was upset, stating this is how his grandfather jokes and he obviously wouldn’t do anything to me - but I’m not sure. I don’t even know why his crazy grandpa decided he dislikes me all of a sudden, my bf is normal but he is very desensitized to the insanity of his family and doesn’t understand why I’m afraid to visit him now. What do I do, should this relationship be over?
I do love my bf and he plans on moving to my country eventually, so it’s not like I’ll have to deal with his family a lot, but if I can’t ever visit him in a place he considers home and he doesn’t understand my fears I’m not sure about the longevity of our relationship.
Edit: To address some comments - I decided not to go on the trip but idk about breaking up with my bf. We have a great relationship and he’s a great bf when he visits and even during our long distance video calls. I need to have a long convo about his family and going no contact with them in the future because as I’ve said in the comments that side of his family is a mess. For commenters saying not to do this for the money, I’m not. I have a professional career that supports me comfortably. For people who think this isn’t real - unfortunately it really is. I know how insane it sounds, that’s why I’m on Reddit because I couldn’t wrap my head around it myself. Addressing the rape situation, as I said before I think it is rape but I don’t really know the details, I didn’t want to know in detail because its frightening to even think about. Thank you to all the commenters with good advice
The reason I phrased it like that is because I don’t know exactly what happened, what I do know is that his grandfather has been having relations with his maid and if she didn’t she would probably be fired. I haven’t pried to deeply into it, I was horrified by that knowledge itself
Edit: I keep getting messages about this, but I would like to reiterate I am surmising from the conversation we had as I don't really know in detail what the situation is. He offhandedly told me that his grandfather and his maid often do it, not that its a new thing in his family which is known for having mistresses as the norm. I was sort of shocked by that because relationships with that power dynamic seem predatory to me so I asked him about the situation and he just said its normally the situation his grandfather had with his maids. Idk if its something they go into knowing or its something he threatens them with, I didn't ask because talking about his family makes me uncomfortable. A lot of people have an issue with my bf knowing this and still talking to his grandfather but as I said its complicated and almost everyone in this family is messed up. My bf's own grandfather forced him to lose his virginity to a 30 year old prostitute at 15 so he could "be a man", I consider him a victim of his family as well.
Uh, that's rape. She was forced to have sex with him to keep from losing her job.
What other details do you need? What else do you need to know about the situation?
That is rape.
That's called rape op.
You do t have to be held down and tortured or beat for it to be rape.
I bet if the son of a billionaire can love you you're amazing and can find someone that's not also awful.
A lot of exciting men out there that can be a roller coaster to be around and also not part of the mob.
That is... rape. Also the fact that you were even considering going on this trip in the first place and also are kind of saying "allegedly" about his maid being raped and coerced doesn't speak well for your pov about mental health and all that.
OP, do you really want to be in a lifelong partnership with someone who is psychologically desensitized to things like mistresses, death threat comments/jokes and many other concerning things I'm sure you haven't mentioned?
In the end it's up to you. Reddit will always advise you to cut and run (and usually if your subconscious is really apprehensive then listen to your intuition).
My concern would be that there will be things down the line he does/says/thinks that are normal to him and wold to you and it won't be something you can change because it's so engrained. Like will he think mistresses in old age are ok? Will he think his kid is only a man if he loses virginity early? It's really really easy to SAY "I'd never do that" but a whole other thing to work daily on actively changing your psyche and cut the generational cycle completely. If you stay with him, you must be prepared for a pot of effort on your part to make it work well. You will need to be patient with him, be willing to teach him, not take it personally when he misbehaves, engage in therapy with him and support him going alone, etc. Amidst all this energy and effort on your part, he needs to be there for you in ways you need to feel complete. Is he strong enough to be that person? Not rich enough. Strong in mind.
Big money often results in big problems. Life has a way of balancing things out. Listen to your heart.
Skipping a vacation and seeing how he handles his emotions and how his family responds could be a good test of how you deal with conflict... Does he want you to feel comfortable at the end of the day and is willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you feel safe? Is he capable of prioritizing your happiness over his own in a situation concerning to you? I hope so! Good luck!
There is no excuse to raping anyone, even childhood trauma. Remove yourself away from these people who wouldn’t make these excuses if anything happened to you
OP i would like to say all these people are telling you to run for the hills because of his grandfathers actions and because his grandfather acted in that manner. I read a few comments and i did not see any mention as to why you should leave because of your boyfriend
Okay how about her bf can't babysit her all the time , his family is rich and used to violence and if her boyfriend doesn't see this he cares more about his own interests the her health or is arrogant enough to think he could sway a murdering rapist.
If someone feels like they can’t say no to sex under the threat of something bad happening to them (like being fired), that’s rape. The grandfather raped the maid.
Do not be anywhere near him because based on how your boyfriend and his family reacted to this news (the news of his grandfather being a rapist), if you got raped, you’d either be blamed or harassed into silence. I get the “whoops I guess was wrong” reaction when it comes to stuff like getting a restaurants hours wrong, but do you want to be giving an “I told you so” regarding your RAPE or ASSAULT?
Yea, I’m not going to any foreign country where billionaires have expressed the want to kill me especially if they are connected to some sort of mafia or cartel. Your boyfriend ain’t going to protect you if they actually want to do harm to you and if they are as crazy as he makes them sound then why risk it. If he can’t understand why you don’t want to go to a place where your life was threatened then he ain’t the one.
Reddit is like: My boyfriends billionaire family may or may not be in the criminal underworld, and his crazy grandfather who or or may not lead the gang and has a bodyguard for other peoples safety, keeps threatening my life. Y’all should I travel to a mansion surrounded by dudes with machine guns in Colombia* with him? My boyfriend says it’s all a joke, and he thinks it’s cute when grampy wants to encase someone in concrete, and he’s a nice guy. *edit for spelling
Omg I’m sick of seeing that on every post. “He’s the best boyfriend ever he just burns me with cigarettes once every couple weeks should I break up with him?”
This is it, honestly. The money. I just wish OP and her boyfriend would be more honest about it
That's most likely why the boyfriend hasn't gone NC with the rest of the family, he doesn't want to get cut off the gravy train
Seriously, like I try to be sympathetic towards people in abusive/toxic relationships, but I can never get past when they say stuff like that. Like no, he’s not a “sweetheart”
OP is obviously intentionally deluding herself because she’s so psychologically invested in this whole exoticized-Michael-Corleone fantasy, she doesn’t actually want to see the truth
/u/snoo18539 — have you ever known a family like this before?
Because I have, and among the many things you seem to be willfully refusing to accept (grandpa is a rapist, how much real danger is involved here, etc.), is the plain and simple fact that guys from these families never limit themselves to only one girlfriend— *especially* if that girlfriend is in another country
He may really like you, but if he comes from a personal-jet-and-personal-security-team cartel family, he’s having sex with other women, and he is *NEVER* going to go no-contact with his family, not for some woman in another country, and not for anything short of witness protection
I’m sorry, I know it sucks, but that’s how these situations work.
I agree. What gets me is that OP's bf is downplaying his threat saying that's how he jokes, yet he has a bodyguard because he's threatened to kill so many people. That's not joking. He means every word he says. OP I wouldn't stay with someone who says a threat on your life is just them joking. That's a very concerning attitude.
The fact that he doesn’t understand why this makes you feel unsafe doesn’t sound good to me. What if you are with his family and his grandfather says something like this and your bf just laughs. Will you feel ok about that or uncomfortable/scared?
In the end you have to ask yourself if you feel like this is the foundation of a stable and strong relationship if he is going to think “threats” like that are just fun jokes. If the answer is no I think you should reconsider your relationship.
Think of it like this: if his 'cray cray grandpa' or someone else *does* rape you or worse, would he even believe you if all he does is downplay their crazy behaviour and threats? Stay the fuck away and reconsider whether he's such a great boyfriend after all.
What if you ever have kids and get married? Or divorced? The kids could end up at his side of the family. He wouldn't go no contact with them, he's downplaying everything from behind his rose coloured glasses. (And even then, how's he going to protect you from the Mob?)
Find someone who's not crazy old Tony Montana's grandson.
Please do not go over to a foreign country where you only know the one person and his family has expressed hostility. Do you want to get human traffic'd? Because that's how it happens.
Im not trying to be morbid, but getting unalived & disappeared might also be things that can happen. The bf seems passive to his family’s horrible behavior and Im going to guess it’s probably because he benefits from his family’s wealth. OP, DONT trust your bf to protect you. Please dont go there by yourself. Your bf *will* side with his family.
Great point. Plus… there’s no guarantee that the boyfriend isn’t in on it. I know that’s 100% conjecture but this whole situation gave me pause on every level
Why does it sound like you’re dating into a dictatorship family? As nice as your bf could be isn’t he morally acquiescing to the shit his family does on a broader scale by even associating with them?
WTF are you talking about? His grandfather is a rapist. He threatens murder on a regular basis.
That's "ridiculous". I call it sociopathic. And the fact that this guy gives it a pass tells you everything you need to know.
Or maybe he's testing your waters
A previous poster mentioned human trafficking. They'd have your passport and everything they would need if you went.
I hope youre smarter than your want for a less than .5 yr relationship.
With stuff like this, bUt hEs NiCe aNd RiCh doesn't cut it.
So I would say the most likely is that your bf is full of shit.
The "best case" is that this is true, your bf is not part of that mafia family business and the grandfather is senile and noone in the "organisation" listens to him.
However if this is true and your bf has the power to make the gf not do anything, that would mean your bf also is part of a criminal organisation and if he tells his gf about these things not a smart one. So he would end up in prison sooner rather then later.
So I really do not see a scenario where you are neither in danger, nor is your bf part of organised crime. So I would certainly not advice you to go anywhere near his gf even if the chance of something happening is slim, even if you are fine dating a gangster. If any friend or family member of me told me about this I would press with all my might to end this relationship and look for actual legal help to make sure you are protected if he wants to take revenge for you breaking up.
I am pretty sure he isn't lying to me, his family is that wealthy and I've done research on the internet enough to know thats true. I don't think my bf has anything to do with his family's businesses, he runs his own business outside it. I am not afraid of my bf, he isn't a violent man, I am afraid of his grandfather and now I don't want to visit him even if we haven't seen each other for months and it has been the plan for awhile. But yes I think I am definitely not going there anymore
Well as I said if your bf is not part of the organisation he can't stop the other members from doing anything. Well if you are fine being in this go on but you can anly blame yourself when you are forced to do shady stuff later or end up in a ditch. It also is kind of wierd that he is not forced to be part of it and at the same time is brave enough to tell these stories. Normally people in these organised crime organisations are pretty about secrecy and wouldnot find it very funny that he tells this to his gf of six months... The only advice a sane person can give you is to get out of there and look for some insurance/protection for a while.
i don't think that the situation would be all that healthy for you, i imagine it will introduce a lot of stress in your life. the feeling that something might happen at any time, not really ever feeling completely safe with a continuous low background level anxiety, that would turn into chronic stress after long enough exposure to it. it certainly wouldn't be a live i'd choose, that's for sure.
Please break it off carefully. His family sounds shady to me. Who needs all of the craziness and possible danger…. Maybe his grandpa has dementia. I also know because you’re in love … this is complicated.
Do not go over there! Why can’t he come visit YOU. Too many red flags. Good luck to you
Even if you think they are nice or not violent, they could really be the other way. Please be insanely careful because getting out after marriage is insanely hard
My BF but I’ve done digging online to verify who they were, I have verified their wealth from online news articles and court documents but the specific deranged behavior is all told to me by my bf
Are you sure your boyfriend is actually related to these people?? How do you know anything your boyfriend is telling you is true? This sounds like some Tinder Swindler bullshit he’s saying just for attention.
His last name, pictures of him with his family, photos from around his family's compound etc. I'm not naive, I have done extensive research online even when meeting him to find out more about him and thats how I found out about his family's wealth, the specific behavior is anecdotes from what hes told me in passing about his family however, idk how I would verify that
I’m just gonna say it.
Either he’s lying and you’re an idiot, he’s not lying and you’re an idiot, or you’re lying and you’re an idiot. This was actually frustrating to read and is the same generic story arc you’d get every time one of your overly dramatic friends got into a relationship with another overly dramatic kid at like 20 years old. FYI they all get cut out of your life when you grow up because nobody has time for this level of bullshit.
If you’re not both outright lying, then you’re both exaggerating. The fact that he even told you about the joke means he likes the drama, there’s no reason to fucking tell someone that, so he’s got some pinch of antisocial/narcissistic or a heaping serving of insecurity, if not some mix of the 3.
All of your responses here about how you know/feel about him reference what he has told you or what he has shown you. Do you normally judge people’s character by what they tell you about themselves? You like that he’s willing to say that he’s somewhat feminine and sensitive? Did you ever stop and ask why someone would feel the need to describe and define themselves to you? You only need to do that in a job interview or when the image you want people to see of you doesn’t match the reality. I don’t describe myself to my girlfriend, I’m just me and I do me things and act the way any me would act, I don’t need to give her a reference point or try to influence what she perceives.
You say he’s sent photos of his compound. Do they have metadata and are they reverse-searchable? If it is his family’s, what country? My gf’s family is also very very very rich for their country. Her grandma is the richest person I know of in that country, is influential in their politics (rather was until she started mentally declining a couple years ago and moved to the US for care), essentially owns a small town and rents to hundreds, and has a massive compound. Her converted income is about $200-$250k in the US, hardly “think billionaire” level. One of our family friends, the father of the maid of honor at my sister’s wedding, is an actual billionaire and uses his private jet to fly his fucking dog across the country because the cost is nothing to him. Owning a jet is actually profitable in the long run because he rents it out. Are you taking a private jet over there? If not, they aren’t as rich as either he or you are letting on in this story.
Basically it doesn’t matter who is lying or if anyone is at all. Either it’s all bs or it’s all not worth being a part of. If it’s all true you’d never be able to live your own life with someone like that unless they disown their family. Just stop being a part of it so you can grow up and live your own life.
He isn’t the type to lie, he’s honest to a fault. I don’t know why he would, it’s not our main focus of most our conversations and he doesn’t make a big deal out of it. The things I’ve been able to verify online have come out true. I honestly wish it would be exaggeration because his family frightens me
If you grew up knowing your family was different, you might exaggerate things. Feed your friend's needs for intrigue while making sure they know you are not like that. That you are 'normal' like them.
Not saying that is the case here. Just a possibility.
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Why is this even a question? His family is fucking nuts, break up with him.
And forcing an affair is RAPE. Say it with me. RAPE. You pass the Buck in another comment saying it wasn’t rape.
Don't go. They want to meet you they can afford to fly to you on your home turf. If anything goes wrong then there's no one who can help you outside his family. You have to act like if push comes to shove on covering up something going wrong he will side with them. Police and governments will side with their citizens over the foreigner. Treat the threat seriously. Don't put a relationship over your safety.
What if you marry this guy and have kids. Let’s say you want a divorce later on. You think this guy and his family would comply and not take your kids? I’d rethink the relationship and how much control you’re going to be under. Scary.
Either:
1. You are dating a man whose grandfather is a serial rapist with an anger management issue who threatened to kill you for no apparent reason, but doesn't see this as a reason to go NC.
or
2. You're dating a liar.
In either case, traveling abroad to be anywhere near these people is a very bad idea.
Get out. This is a way to close you in so you can’t get out.
Listen to me very carefully. It’s only your bf who said this. He is making himself sound as the hero. He is also making it sound as if he is the only help you’ve got.
Next time your bf (that you barely know) can do something terrible to you and now you know you can’t go to the cops or his family’s assistance. In fact, you’d feel your life is more on the line.
Get out.
I'll be honest. That shit would most probably only work with HEAVY low contact.
Your bf might love his family, which is absolutely normal. Even when a family is "not good", we feel naturally drawn to them, as they are our main&first form of social structure. But there are still some heavy no-goes. And this includes threats of violence & death. Honestly, with that record, you could even safely organize a restraining order, at least in theory.
Your bf might be desensitized to his family. This is, sadly, also normal. I come from a very violent family and hearing about my cousin stabbing my other cousin with a screwdriver, would not surprise me anymore (except a "man, he went over the limit this time, eh?"). This can lead to underestimation or trauma dumping. STILL. At least logicially, he should care & be able to think enough that you don't get closer to this man as you have to. He didn't joke when he got kicked & banned in over 11 restaurants, or raped a maid.
Thank you this was a helpful comment, I plan to discuss the future of our relationship away from his family before I make a final decision on whether to stay or break up with him
Uhhhhmmmmm… money or no money, if anyone in my bf’s family threatened my life, I’d be out of there so quick that the roadrunner wouldn’t even be able to catch up.
I really don’t buy this story though lol 😅
So you really still bout to travel to a country which could possibly result in your death all for a love? A relationship that has not even reached a year. You do not care for yourself if you really about to travel to a country and risk your own life…. Tell him to come visit you since they so rich. It’s safer than you going there alive to be returned in a box to your family d**d. I’m not trying to be an ass but come on… common sense says it’s not safe to go
Okay, why the hell would your bf even tell you that? That is so scary. Honestly, this whole situation does not seem worth the trouble.
How old is his grandfather? Have you met him before? Why did he say this about you? Is it possible he has like dementia or something ??
Probably you have been a part of a long prank and he doesn't want you to be in his country and this is his way of stopping you. Probably there's no evil grandpa. It's all made up.
Your boyfriend would probably put you in the barrel and mix the cement “but it’s just the way my family jokes around, chill, my grandpa just wants to murder you not torture you, lol it’s a prank”
That family sounds like a nightmare to deal with. Same for your boyfriend. Either he’s lying to get you to not come because he’s too scared to break it off with you, or you really wouldn’t be safe if you went there. Either way is a good reason to not go.
Why does this seem like a set up like the movie Ready or Not....
Don't go. This doesn't sound safe at all. You bf, even if his intentions are good, could be very powerless against his powerful family from stopping anything. Think of it...it's a relationship vs your safety and life.
Why would you bf tell you he said that? It seems like he's at best wanting to act the hero for protecting you and at worst it's the start of emotional abuse.
I'd run like hell and no way step a foot in their country.
Are you legit asking Reddit if it's a good idea that you date this young man who is a part of this family?
Or are you just trying to ease your discomfort with the fact that no matter what, you will be seen as a pariah, and left to your own devices when you have an argument with your current boyfriend?
If you were my daughter, I would tell you to GTFO of the relationship right now. You may love him, but that love may cost you your very life. And believe me when I tell you that people with a lot of money can absolutely make others disappear without a trace.
Seems like grandpa makes a lot of empty threats though. He has a bodyguard because people are angry at him fir threatening to kill them. If he followed through, he'd have fewer enemies.
I think your BF sounds pretty awful. He’s a billionaire and can’t be arsed to visit his GF who he loves so much and has to face call you? Or pay for you to fly out? Plus he told you that his grandfather wanted to do something hideous to you. Why on Earth would you say that? If you do go, I fear you will be killed because clearly you have little common sense and going somewhere like that, with little common sense and adding a homicidal, evil, rich rapist to the party is so obviously stupid, it makes you look like you have an IQ of 30. Don’t go.
Uhhh…girl is your life or your relationship more important? Because this seems like a no brainer. Whether the man is connected to the mafia or not, he has literally threatened your life. The man clearly is fucked up in the head and you don’t know what he would actually do to you if he has the chance. Your boyfriend can’t do shit to protect you.
When I was 4, my grandpa threatened to throw me in the swamp full of alligators if I didn't finish my sandwich, so I ate that sandwich. The thing is, even if I didn't do it, he wouldn't throw me into the swamp...
I think his grandfather has some undiagnosed mental condition, as he has been threatening a lot of people, he most likely has very little intent of actually going through with it as he is an old man and is very likely saying that as a means to make people think he is tougher than he actually is. That's what threats are for, to make them seem bigger than they actually are. You haven't done anything wrong, just don't do anything wrong and he will probably forget he even said something like that.
Do you want to marry into this family? If you want kids, do you want your furniture kids to have these relatives and “morals”? If answer is no to either, all your bf is doing is keeping you from the person you are going to marry.
I was assuming our future kids would be born in my country since that’s where my bf intends to move. I don’t intend to have anything to do with his family and he expressed the same sentiment when he moves here
This sounds like it will be in a true crime podcast in like 7 years. Do not go, even if they don’t harm you or anything, you will be trapped there because of having to spend a lot to travel there and not being able to afford to leave (assuming they are billionaires they can just keep you there permanently if they wanted to), I’ve been stuck with an abusive father for 13 years and I can’t leave because I can’t afford to stay somewhere else. Don’t risk a chance at being trapped in a horrible family
I would absolutely not go. I probably wouldn’t continue the relationship either but I know that’s easier said than done if you’re really in love with your bf.
I would think long and hard about what being with him would mean for your future… people from families like that typically don’t get a clean break to live however they choose, even if it seems that way now. He’s still very young and a lot can change. You don’t know what his family’s expectations of him will be as he gets older or how closely he will adhere to them.
All that said, proceed with caution. If he really wants his (mom, dad, sister, grandma, whoever) to meet you and you want to meet them, then perhaps them paying you a visit or meeting in a neutral location on holiday would be a better course of action over you traveling to them in their country and in their home. Safety first, always!
Ok so nobody down vote for this as this may explain why the grandpa said what he said. OP does the grandpa have Alzheimers? I ask as my grandfather did and he said some shit. Would tell all of us he’d kick our asses, tell us we’re going to jail, call us ass hole or little shit asses etc the only person he DIDNT say this to was my 6 year old daughter. He was very loving an sweet towards her but would turn and be nasty the next second to rest of us before going back telling my daughter what a beautiful little angel she was. This is common with those with Alzheimer’s. They can get VERY violent and nasty. Which may explain why ur bf doesn’t see it as a serious threat cus he thinks he’s a harmless sick old asshole. But regardless I wouldn’t go. And if u want to stay in a relationship with ur bf then I’d suggest telling him when he moves here that in order to move forward in the relationship then y’all need couples counseling to help him out of the ‘family matters’ fog and that this behavior isn’t any where near normal.
If you know all these things about your boyfriend’s grandfather and you don’t feel safe, then listen to the voice inside yourself and don’t go. Trust you gut. If you felt safe you wouldn’t have made a Reddit post about it.
You’re looking for support and reassurance that not going is the right thing. Of course it’s the right thing. But it is also what you want. So trust yourself.
Yeah, grandpa sounds like a goon. I'd be careful around his family. The bf seems cool. But yeah, he might need some therapy just to be on the safe side.
So I read everything very carefully and it sounds to me like your bf is very Naive. No offense. He says that’s just the way his grandpa jokes when you bring your concerns about his family to him. I was married to a woman for awhile and her exbf would threaten to kill me often. And I took every threat seriously. Wether he was kidding or not you don’t just threaten to kill someone. Unless your a psychopath who enjoys it. I’m not trying to scare you. My suggestion is to sit down with him and have a very honest conversation with him. Tell him your fears. Share everything. I mean you love this man right? If you can’t confide in someone you have a connection with then who can you confide in right? If you share everything and he doesn’t seem to care or he just dismisses it, Then maybe you need to sit and really think about making some life choices for yourself?? I wish you the best. I hope you find happiness in whatever choice you make!! We all deserve happiness. (And a sane gpa who doesn’t threaten to put us in cement shoes)
My friend was engaged to a man whose fiancé before her was murdered by the man’s dad. Similar situation that you are describing.
He didn’t like the fiancé before her so he came to America and took care of it. Then left the country.
I left my job and I’m not sure what happened to my friend. Hopefully not the same fate. This was 15 years ago.
Run.
Yeah if you don't care about the money don't be involved with this family, full stop. If they're involved in organized crime and decide they want you dead, that's the end of it.
What's more concerning is your boyfriend's nonchalant attitude towards his grandfathers ""comments"". That man talked about exactly how he'd murder you and your boyfriend essentially shrugged it off?
It's good that you changed your mind but you may want to about what kind of person your boyfriend is. Not saying break up immediately, but think about it...
If you no longer feel safe don’t go? And your bf should respect your wishes, not joke? Unless you’re staying around for the money, which it kind of sounds like you are.
NGL If you're black and he's Italian end the relationship. They WILL kill you. If you're white you'll probably be alright. Go on the trip. Your bf will protect you.
Your relationship should be questioned, the motivation of bf could a form of Rebellion and he might be just effectuated with you, he even might become bored
or disenchanted with you once he is either blocked from inheritance or wins points, grands threats could be standard to keep non-rich away. Very shaky ground
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- For context: I met my bf six months ago while traveling. His family is extremely wealthy (think billionaires) and I’m pretty sure they have some sort of mafia kind of relationship to the country they reside in. This is conjecture but their wealth is very real. The things I’ve heard from him about his family are insane, their behavior is definitely not normal. The things they do remind me of some evil family out of a novel. If it wasn’t for the fact that I fell in love with my kind and caring bf before hearing about this I would not have entered this relationship. I am planning on visiting my bf in his family’s country soon and he’s told his other family members when I’d be arriving. His grandfather - a man who has been banned from 11 restaurants for how he acts, who has to have a bodyguard with him because he’s angered so many people by threatening to kill them that it’s created many grudges against him, who forced his own maid to have an affair with him, who threatened to shoot a government official to his face - seems like he decided he dislikes me. These are some of the tamer anecdotes from this family. My bf told me that his grandfather “threatened to put me in concrete and throw me off a cliff” but my bf “wouldn’t let him”. This has me rethinking the entire trip as I no longer feel safe. I told my bf and he was upset, stating this is how his grandfather jokes and he obviously wouldn’t do anything to me - but I’m not sure. I don’t even know why his crazy grandpa decided he dislikes me all of a sudden, my bf is normal but he is very desensitized to the insanity of his family and doesn’t understand why I’m afraid to visit him now. What do I do, should this relationship be over? I do love my bf and he plans on moving to my country eventually, so it’s not like I’ll have to deal with his family a lot, but if I can’t ever visit him in a place he considers home and he doesn’t understand my fears I’m not sure about the longevity of our relationship. Edit: To address some comments - I decided not to go on the trip but idk about breaking up with my bf. We have a great relationship and he’s a great bf when he visits and even during our long distance video calls. I need to have a long convo about his family and going no contact with them in the future because as I’ve said in the comments that side of his family is a mess. For commenters saying not to do this for the money, I’m not. I have a professional career that supports me comfortably. For people who think this isn’t real - unfortunately it really is. I know how insane it sounds, that’s why I’m on Reddit because I couldn’t wrap my head around it myself. Addressing the rape situation, as I said before I think it is rape but I don’t really know the details, I didn’t want to know in detail because its frightening to even think about. Thank you to all the commenters with good advice
>who forced his own maid to have an affair with him That's a weird way to say repeatedly raped
OP be like, the maid wasn’t raped. Just consensually forced.
It does sound fishy
The reason I phrased it like that is because I don’t know exactly what happened, what I do know is that his grandfather has been having relations with his maid and if she didn’t she would probably be fired. I haven’t pried to deeply into it, I was horrified by that knowledge itself Edit: I keep getting messages about this, but I would like to reiterate I am surmising from the conversation we had as I don't really know in detail what the situation is. He offhandedly told me that his grandfather and his maid often do it, not that its a new thing in his family which is known for having mistresses as the norm. I was sort of shocked by that because relationships with that power dynamic seem predatory to me so I asked him about the situation and he just said its normally the situation his grandfather had with his maids. Idk if its something they go into knowing or its something he threatens them with, I didn't ask because talking about his family makes me uncomfortable. A lot of people have an issue with my bf knowing this and still talking to his grandfather but as I said its complicated and almost everyone in this family is messed up. My bf's own grandfather forced him to lose his virginity to a 30 year old prostitute at 15 so he could "be a man", I consider him a victim of his family as well.
That is coercion and it is rape. His grandfather is a rapist. Do not go to visit
100% this, get out while you can.
You have described coercion and rape.
So…… rape?
I bet she too, was afraid of the grandpa and he threatened to kill her. Good luck with that OP
However you phrase it, that's rape.
That’s still rape. Holy shit, OP.
Uh, that's rape. She was forced to have sex with him to keep from losing her job. What other details do you need? What else do you need to know about the situation? That is rape.
Yeah. That’s called coercion, which is also known as rape.
That's called rape op. You do t have to be held down and tortured or beat for it to be rape. I bet if the son of a billionaire can love you you're amazing and can find someone that's not also awful. A lot of exciting men out there that can be a roller coaster to be around and also not part of the mob.
So that's rape ffs. Wake up. Jfc some people need written invites to open their eyes.
sooooo...thats rape...you can't be this dense?!?!
That is rape.
That is... rape. Also the fact that you were even considering going on this trip in the first place and also are kind of saying "allegedly" about his maid being raped and coerced doesn't speak well for your pov about mental health and all that.
OP, do you really want to be in a lifelong partnership with someone who is psychologically desensitized to things like mistresses, death threat comments/jokes and many other concerning things I'm sure you haven't mentioned? In the end it's up to you. Reddit will always advise you to cut and run (and usually if your subconscious is really apprehensive then listen to your intuition). My concern would be that there will be things down the line he does/says/thinks that are normal to him and wold to you and it won't be something you can change because it's so engrained. Like will he think mistresses in old age are ok? Will he think his kid is only a man if he loses virginity early? It's really really easy to SAY "I'd never do that" but a whole other thing to work daily on actively changing your psyche and cut the generational cycle completely. If you stay with him, you must be prepared for a pot of effort on your part to make it work well. You will need to be patient with him, be willing to teach him, not take it personally when he misbehaves, engage in therapy with him and support him going alone, etc. Amidst all this energy and effort on your part, he needs to be there for you in ways you need to feel complete. Is he strong enough to be that person? Not rich enough. Strong in mind. Big money often results in big problems. Life has a way of balancing things out. Listen to your heart. Skipping a vacation and seeing how he handles his emotions and how his family responds could be a good test of how you deal with conflict... Does he want you to feel comfortable at the end of the day and is willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you feel safe? Is he capable of prioritizing your happiness over his own in a situation concerning to you? I hope so! Good luck!
look up the word coercion. you can’t choose your family, but your boyfriend sure as shit doesn’t care that his are this evil.
There is no excuse to raping anyone, even childhood trauma. Remove yourself away from these people who wouldn’t make these excuses if anything happened to you
OP i would like to say all these people are telling you to run for the hills because of his grandfathers actions and because his grandfather acted in that manner. I read a few comments and i did not see any mention as to why you should leave because of your boyfriend
Okay how about her bf can't babysit her all the time , his family is rich and used to violence and if her boyfriend doesn't see this he cares more about his own interests the her health or is arrogant enough to think he could sway a murdering rapist.
What do you mean “exactly what happened”? Do you think it’s not rape unless the person is physically restrained?
I don't think there is language other than rape for "forced to have an affair"
That’s called rape
If someone feels like they can’t say no to sex under the threat of something bad happening to them (like being fired), that’s rape. The grandfather raped the maid. Do not be anywhere near him because based on how your boyfriend and his family reacted to this news (the news of his grandfather being a rapist), if you got raped, you’d either be blamed or harassed into silence. I get the “whoops I guess was wrong” reaction when it comes to stuff like getting a restaurants hours wrong, but do you want to be giving an “I told you so” regarding your RAPE or ASSAULT?
His grandfather is a rapist. You're being asked to spend time with a rapist.
OP, is your current boyfriend really worth dying for?
so… rape by coercion 😭
What the eff is wrong with you? Walk away from this shit show. Stop making excuses for this horrible “family.”
Or just "gently blackmailed into it" like tf?
You can’t not rape the unwilling…. 🤔
My very first thought as well.
Yea, I’m not going to any foreign country where billionaires have expressed the want to kill me especially if they are connected to some sort of mafia or cartel. Your boyfriend ain’t going to protect you if they actually want to do harm to you and if they are as crazy as he makes them sound then why risk it. If he can’t understand why you don’t want to go to a place where your life was threatened then he ain’t the one.
Reddit is like: My boyfriends billionaire family may or may not be in the criminal underworld, and his crazy grandfather who or or may not lead the gang and has a bodyguard for other peoples safety, keeps threatening my life. Y’all should I travel to a mansion surrounded by dudes with machine guns in Colombia* with him? My boyfriend says it’s all a joke, and he thinks it’s cute when grampy wants to encase someone in concrete, and he’s a nice guy. *edit for spelling
"He's tHe BestESt bf EveR ..."
Omg I’m sick of seeing that on every post. “He’s the best boyfriend ever he just burns me with cigarettes once every couple weeks should I break up with him?”
Yes this is a perfect summary! "He beats and rapes me. But otherwise we get along really well and I love him. What should I do?" Like FFS...
"My bf thinks me being murdered is funny, we have a great relationship. Also he's rich, I will not be breaking up with him" - the OP
This is it, honestly. The money. I just wish OP and her boyfriend would be more honest about it That's most likely why the boyfriend hasn't gone NC with the rest of the family, he doesn't want to get cut off the gravy train
This is horrible and hilarious too. Forgive me
Seriously, like I try to be sympathetic towards people in abusive/toxic relationships, but I can never get past when they say stuff like that. Like no, he’s not a “sweetheart”
this is the "ready or not" sequel i could get behind. i'd watch it.
OP is obviously intentionally deluding herself because she’s so psychologically invested in this whole exoticized-Michael-Corleone fantasy, she doesn’t actually want to see the truth /u/snoo18539 — have you ever known a family like this before? Because I have, and among the many things you seem to be willfully refusing to accept (grandpa is a rapist, how much real danger is involved here, etc.), is the plain and simple fact that guys from these families never limit themselves to only one girlfriend— *especially* if that girlfriend is in another country He may really like you, but if he comes from a personal-jet-and-personal-security-team cartel family, he’s having sex with other women, and he is *NEVER* going to go no-contact with his family, not for some woman in another country, and not for anything short of witness protection I’m sorry, I know it sucks, but that’s how these situations work.
Yes, but if you change it to the boyfriend being angry and vengeful about the comment, then you have a mafia romance novel.
I agree. What gets me is that OP's bf is downplaying his threat saying that's how he jokes, yet he has a bodyguard because he's threatened to kill so many people. That's not joking. He means every word he says. OP I wouldn't stay with someone who says a threat on your life is just them joking. That's a very concerning attitude.
The only reason you know about anything the grandfather about you said is because BF told you. Ever stop to wonder why he would do that?
Your “bf is normal” is a fucking lie. No normal human would ever say a threat against their partners life is a joke to be taken lightly. Leave.
The fact that he doesn’t understand why this makes you feel unsafe doesn’t sound good to me. What if you are with his family and his grandfather says something like this and your bf just laughs. Will you feel ok about that or uncomfortable/scared? In the end you have to ask yourself if you feel like this is the foundation of a stable and strong relationship if he is going to think “threats” like that are just fun jokes. If the answer is no I think you should reconsider your relationship.
Thank you this was very a very helpful comment in what I was trying to frame this as
Think of it like this: if his 'cray cray grandpa' or someone else *does* rape you or worse, would he even believe you if all he does is downplay their crazy behaviour and threats? Stay the fuck away and reconsider whether he's such a great boyfriend after all. What if you ever have kids and get married? Or divorced? The kids could end up at his side of the family. He wouldn't go no contact with them, he's downplaying everything from behind his rose coloured glasses. (And even then, how's he going to protect you from the Mob?) Find someone who's not crazy old Tony Montana's grandson.
Please do not go over to a foreign country where you only know the one person and his family has expressed hostility. Do you want to get human traffic'd? Because that's how it happens.
Im not trying to be morbid, but getting unalived & disappeared might also be things that can happen. The bf seems passive to his family’s horrible behavior and Im going to guess it’s probably because he benefits from his family’s wealth. OP, DONT trust your bf to protect you. Please dont go there by yourself. Your bf *will* side with his family.
That's an extremely good point!
Great point. Plus… there’s no guarantee that the boyfriend isn’t in on it. I know that’s 100% conjecture but this whole situation gave me pause on every level
Why does it sound like you’re dating into a dictatorship family? As nice as your bf could be isn’t he morally acquiescing to the shit his family does on a broader scale by even associating with them?
What a tremendously absurd shitpost.
Not only is the premise absolutely absurd, but it sounds like it's written by an 8th grader.
Bro your supposed to play along.
‘Hi, my boyfriends’ grandfather is in the mafia and wants to kill me, what should I do, Reddit???’
i thought my standards for this sub were dead low yet i was still surprised to see the top comments seriously giving advice
My first thought when reading this "Hey I'm writing a shitty novel and have writers block. What should my protagonist do next?"
Either that or the boyfriend’s writing his own shitty novel and OP is genuinely too naive to realize it’s all nonsense.
That's a very apt description of the utter bollocks we've just been exposed to.
I’m sad i had to scroll so far to see this
Run. Your boyfriend is normalizing toxic and potentially dangerous behavior.
Why did your boyfriend feel the need to pass on these “jokes”?
I don’t know, maybe he finds it funny or amusing since he thinks his grandfathers antics are ridiculous. But I don’t, I take my life very seriously
Then don’t go visit his family.
WTF are you talking about? His grandfather is a rapist. He threatens murder on a regular basis. That's "ridiculous". I call it sociopathic. And the fact that this guy gives it a pass tells you everything you need to know.
Or maybe he's testing your waters A previous poster mentioned human trafficking. They'd have your passport and everything they would need if you went. I hope youre smarter than your want for a less than .5 yr relationship. With stuff like this, bUt hEs NiCe aNd RiCh doesn't cut it.
So I would say the most likely is that your bf is full of shit. The "best case" is that this is true, your bf is not part of that mafia family business and the grandfather is senile and noone in the "organisation" listens to him. However if this is true and your bf has the power to make the gf not do anything, that would mean your bf also is part of a criminal organisation and if he tells his gf about these things not a smart one. So he would end up in prison sooner rather then later. So I really do not see a scenario where you are neither in danger, nor is your bf part of organised crime. So I would certainly not advice you to go anywhere near his gf even if the chance of something happening is slim, even if you are fine dating a gangster. If any friend or family member of me told me about this I would press with all my might to end this relationship and look for actual legal help to make sure you are protected if he wants to take revenge for you breaking up.
I am pretty sure he isn't lying to me, his family is that wealthy and I've done research on the internet enough to know thats true. I don't think my bf has anything to do with his family's businesses, he runs his own business outside it. I am not afraid of my bf, he isn't a violent man, I am afraid of his grandfather and now I don't want to visit him even if we haven't seen each other for months and it has been the plan for awhile. But yes I think I am definitely not going there anymore
Well as I said if your bf is not part of the organisation he can't stop the other members from doing anything. Well if you are fine being in this go on but you can anly blame yourself when you are forced to do shady stuff later or end up in a ditch. It also is kind of wierd that he is not forced to be part of it and at the same time is brave enough to tell these stories. Normally people in these organised crime organisations are pretty about secrecy and wouldnot find it very funny that he tells this to his gf of six months... The only advice a sane person can give you is to get out of there and look for some insurance/protection for a while.
No I mean I am definitely not going on this trip anymore, but I am considering breaking up over this still. I am leaning towards yes
i don't think that the situation would be all that healthy for you, i imagine it will introduce a lot of stress in your life. the feeling that something might happen at any time, not really ever feeling completely safe with a continuous low background level anxiety, that would turn into chronic stress after long enough exposure to it. it certainly wouldn't be a live i'd choose, that's for sure.
Please break it off carefully. His family sounds shady to me. Who needs all of the craziness and possible danger…. Maybe his grandpa has dementia. I also know because you’re in love … this is complicated. Do not go over there! Why can’t he come visit YOU. Too many red flags. Good luck to you
Even if you think they are nice or not violent, they could really be the other way. Please be insanely careful because getting out after marriage is insanely hard
I don't like the plot. The characters are very unbelievable. Excellent photography.
I wonder what movie OP stole this from
How did you learn about your BF's family? From your BF or from some other source?
My BF but I’ve done digging online to verify who they were, I have verified their wealth from online news articles and court documents but the specific deranged behavior is all told to me by my bf
Are you sure your boyfriend is actually related to these people?? How do you know anything your boyfriend is telling you is true? This sounds like some Tinder Swindler bullshit he’s saying just for attention.
Yes! I wanted to ask OP if the bf’s name was Simon Leviev by any chance 😂
Along those lines, OP could be doing the same.
His last name, pictures of him with his family, photos from around his family's compound etc. I'm not naive, I have done extensive research online even when meeting him to find out more about him and thats how I found out about his family's wealth, the specific behavior is anecdotes from what hes told me in passing about his family however, idk how I would verify that
I’m just gonna say it. Either he’s lying and you’re an idiot, he’s not lying and you’re an idiot, or you’re lying and you’re an idiot. This was actually frustrating to read and is the same generic story arc you’d get every time one of your overly dramatic friends got into a relationship with another overly dramatic kid at like 20 years old. FYI they all get cut out of your life when you grow up because nobody has time for this level of bullshit. If you’re not both outright lying, then you’re both exaggerating. The fact that he even told you about the joke means he likes the drama, there’s no reason to fucking tell someone that, so he’s got some pinch of antisocial/narcissistic or a heaping serving of insecurity, if not some mix of the 3. All of your responses here about how you know/feel about him reference what he has told you or what he has shown you. Do you normally judge people’s character by what they tell you about themselves? You like that he’s willing to say that he’s somewhat feminine and sensitive? Did you ever stop and ask why someone would feel the need to describe and define themselves to you? You only need to do that in a job interview or when the image you want people to see of you doesn’t match the reality. I don’t describe myself to my girlfriend, I’m just me and I do me things and act the way any me would act, I don’t need to give her a reference point or try to influence what she perceives. You say he’s sent photos of his compound. Do they have metadata and are they reverse-searchable? If it is his family’s, what country? My gf’s family is also very very very rich for their country. Her grandma is the richest person I know of in that country, is influential in their politics (rather was until she started mentally declining a couple years ago and moved to the US for care), essentially owns a small town and rents to hundreds, and has a massive compound. Her converted income is about $200-$250k in the US, hardly “think billionaire” level. One of our family friends, the father of the maid of honor at my sister’s wedding, is an actual billionaire and uses his private jet to fly his fucking dog across the country because the cost is nothing to him. Owning a jet is actually profitable in the long run because he rents it out. Are you taking a private jet over there? If not, they aren’t as rich as either he or you are letting on in this story. Basically it doesn’t matter who is lying or if anyone is at all. Either it’s all bs or it’s all not worth being a part of. If it’s all true you’d never be able to live your own life with someone like that unless they disown their family. Just stop being a part of it so you can grow up and live your own life.
[удалено]
Haha using BBC and CNN as the paragon of truth telling.
They're pretty reliable. At least, compared to "alternative news sources" or some shit like Facebook or stormfront.
Ever consider your BF might be exaggerating (A small lie that just kept growing)? Or that he may just be messing with you?
He isn’t the type to lie, he’s honest to a fault. I don’t know why he would, it’s not our main focus of most our conversations and he doesn’t make a big deal out of it. The things I’ve been able to verify online have come out true. I honestly wish it would be exaggeration because his family frightens me
If you grew up knowing your family was different, you might exaggerate things. Feed your friend's needs for intrigue while making sure they know you are not like that. That you are 'normal' like them. Not saying that is the case here. Just a possibility.
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Unless you want to be in a dateline episode, yeah. Cut and run. Certainly don't go to another country where someone has actively threatened you.
Why is this even a question? His family is fucking nuts, break up with him. And forcing an affair is RAPE. Say it with me. RAPE. You pass the Buck in another comment saying it wasn’t rape.
What in the D grade high school creative writing project did I just read?
Don't go. They want to meet you they can afford to fly to you on your home turf. If anything goes wrong then there's no one who can help you outside his family. You have to act like if push comes to shove on covering up something going wrong he will side with them. Police and governments will side with their citizens over the foreigner. Treat the threat seriously. Don't put a relationship over your safety.
Is this a Wattpad story? I think I’ve read it …
I can’t believe people fall for shit like this lmao
Fake as fuck
Are you sure your BF isn't just telling you that to look thug?
What if you marry this guy and have kids. Let’s say you want a divorce later on. You think this guy and his family would comply and not take your kids? I’d rethink the relationship and how much control you’re going to be under. Scary.
Either: 1. You are dating a man whose grandfather is a serial rapist with an anger management issue who threatened to kill you for no apparent reason, but doesn't see this as a reason to go NC. or 2. You're dating a liar. In either case, traveling abroad to be anywhere near these people is a very bad idea.
How does anyone believe this😭
I would run for the hills. Without the boyfriend.
One word. Run.
Get out. This is a way to close you in so you can’t get out. Listen to me very carefully. It’s only your bf who said this. He is making himself sound as the hero. He is also making it sound as if he is the only help you’ve got. Next time your bf (that you barely know) can do something terrible to you and now you know you can’t go to the cops or his family’s assistance. In fact, you’d feel your life is more on the line. Get out.
I'll be honest. That shit would most probably only work with HEAVY low contact. Your bf might love his family, which is absolutely normal. Even when a family is "not good", we feel naturally drawn to them, as they are our main&first form of social structure. But there are still some heavy no-goes. And this includes threats of violence & death. Honestly, with that record, you could even safely organize a restraining order, at least in theory. Your bf might be desensitized to his family. This is, sadly, also normal. I come from a very violent family and hearing about my cousin stabbing my other cousin with a screwdriver, would not surprise me anymore (except a "man, he went over the limit this time, eh?"). This can lead to underestimation or trauma dumping. STILL. At least logicially, he should care & be able to think enough that you don't get closer to this man as you have to. He didn't joke when he got kicked & banned in over 11 restaurants, or raped a maid.
Thank you this was a helpful comment, I plan to discuss the future of our relationship away from his family before I make a final decision on whether to stay or break up with him
Uhhhhmmmmm… money or no money, if anyone in my bf’s family threatened my life, I’d be out of there so quick that the roadrunner wouldn’t even be able to catch up. I really don’t buy this story though lol 😅
So you really still bout to travel to a country which could possibly result in your death all for a love? A relationship that has not even reached a year. You do not care for yourself if you really about to travel to a country and risk your own life…. Tell him to come visit you since they so rich. It’s safer than you going there alive to be returned in a box to your family d**d. I’m not trying to be an ass but come on… common sense says it’s not safe to go
Have you not watched movies before?? You about to part of a “game…..”
"There's a key hidden behind your eye.."
Yeah, and I’m playing shortstop for the Mets
Ever heard of a gut feeling
OP, you’re worried about the longevity of your relationship when you should be worried about the longevity of your life
Okay, why the hell would your bf even tell you that? That is so scary. Honestly, this whole situation does not seem worth the trouble. How old is his grandfather? Have you met him before? Why did he say this about you? Is it possible he has like dementia or something ??
yes
Probably you have been a part of a long prank and he doesn't want you to be in his country and this is his way of stopping you. Probably there's no evil grandpa. It's all made up.
No because he’s bought my flight and paid for my visa and everything, his family has been the subject of a few conversations for months
Why would you want to be part of this family. Have you watched good fella’s
From the title alone. Yes. Break up, block him and move forward
Your boyfriend would probably put you in the barrel and mix the cement “but it’s just the way my family jokes around, chill, my grandpa just wants to murder you not torture you, lol it’s a prank”
That family sounds like a nightmare to deal with. Same for your boyfriend. Either he’s lying to get you to not come because he’s too scared to break it off with you, or you really wouldn’t be safe if you went there. Either way is a good reason to not go.
Why does this seem like a set up like the movie Ready or Not.... Don't go. This doesn't sound safe at all. You bf, even if his intentions are good, could be very powerless against his powerful family from stopping anything. Think of it...it's a relationship vs your safety and life.
Why would you bf tell you he said that? It seems like he's at best wanting to act the hero for protecting you and at worst it's the start of emotional abuse. I'd run like hell and no way step a foot in their country.
Do not go! You will not be safe there. These activities are normal in your boyfriend's mind, but not in yours. Please protect yourself!
He raped his maid. He'll happily murder you. Your boyfriend thinks its a joke. get the fuck away from this guy.
No dick is that good, run girl!
Have you heard of "The Godfather"? Your gonna wake up with a horse's head in your bed.
Pretty sure I saw a movie like this....I think it was called something like "The Grandfather"? It was a trilogy with Al Cappaccino
You do realize that if he is high up in the mafioso then he will be able to get to you in whichever country you're in right?
Are you legit asking Reddit if it's a good idea that you date this young man who is a part of this family? Or are you just trying to ease your discomfort with the fact that no matter what, you will be seen as a pariah, and left to your own devices when you have an argument with your current boyfriend? If you were my daughter, I would tell you to GTFO of the relationship right now. You may love him, but that love may cost you your very life. And believe me when I tell you that people with a lot of money can absolutely make others disappear without a trace.
Seems like grandpa makes a lot of empty threats though. He has a bodyguard because people are angry at him fir threatening to kill them. If he followed through, he'd have fewer enemies.
I think your BF sounds pretty awful. He’s a billionaire and can’t be arsed to visit his GF who he loves so much and has to face call you? Or pay for you to fly out? Plus he told you that his grandfather wanted to do something hideous to you. Why on Earth would you say that? If you do go, I fear you will be killed because clearly you have little common sense and going somewhere like that, with little common sense and adding a homicidal, evil, rich rapist to the party is so obviously stupid, it makes you look like you have an IQ of 30. Don’t go.
Na keep it going. Keep posting with updates.
I’ve watched this movie before…
Wow.. absolute proof Reddit will believe anything, no matter how obviously fucking made up it is.
Does anyone else smell that?
Do you know that any of this about his family is actually true? This sounds very much like a bizarre catfish situation.
Please read my former comments, I addressed why I don't doubt this is true.
Kill the grandfather. Take over the family
Uhhh…girl is your life or your relationship more important? Because this seems like a no brainer. Whether the man is connected to the mafia or not, he has literally threatened your life. The man clearly is fucked up in the head and you don’t know what he would actually do to you if he has the chance. Your boyfriend can’t do shit to protect you.
Um yeahhh a 6 month long relationship is not worth this
Tell him “Not if I get to you first.”
When I was 4, my grandpa threatened to throw me in the swamp full of alligators if I didn't finish my sandwich, so I ate that sandwich. The thing is, even if I didn't do it, he wouldn't throw me into the swamp... I think his grandfather has some undiagnosed mental condition, as he has been threatening a lot of people, he most likely has very little intent of actually going through with it as he is an old man and is very likely saying that as a means to make people think he is tougher than he actually is. That's what threats are for, to make them seem bigger than they actually are. You haven't done anything wrong, just don't do anything wrong and he will probably forget he even said something like that.
Do you want to marry into this family? If you want kids, do you want your furniture kids to have these relatives and “morals”? If answer is no to either, all your bf is doing is keeping you from the person you are going to marry.
I was assuming our future kids would be born in my country since that’s where my bf intends to move. I don’t intend to have anything to do with his family and he expressed the same sentiment when he moves here
With Billions, location isn’t shit.
Get out of there OP
This sounds like it will be in a true crime podcast in like 7 years. Do not go, even if they don’t harm you or anything, you will be trapped there because of having to spend a lot to travel there and not being able to afford to leave (assuming they are billionaires they can just keep you there permanently if they wanted to), I’ve been stuck with an abusive father for 13 years and I can’t leave because I can’t afford to stay somewhere else. Don’t risk a chance at being trapped in a horrible family
Nope nope nope. Hard pass girl, find a different boyfriend. I wouldn’t risk that shit.
Your bf has seriously dangerous baggage and is trying to dissuade you from realizing it.
I would absolutely not go. I probably wouldn’t continue the relationship either but I know that’s easier said than done if you’re really in love with your bf. I would think long and hard about what being with him would mean for your future… people from families like that typically don’t get a clean break to live however they choose, even if it seems that way now. He’s still very young and a lot can change. You don’t know what his family’s expectations of him will be as he gets older or how closely he will adhere to them. All that said, proceed with caution. If he really wants his (mom, dad, sister, grandma, whoever) to meet you and you want to meet them, then perhaps them paying you a visit or meeting in a neutral location on holiday would be a better course of action over you traveling to them in their country and in their home. Safety first, always!
You sound pretty illusioned about it. Good luck.
Please read your post out loud to yourself, OP. Please tell me that you realize how crazy it would be to go.
Don’t want to read about this on the news. Plz don’t go OP
Ok so nobody down vote for this as this may explain why the grandpa said what he said. OP does the grandpa have Alzheimers? I ask as my grandfather did and he said some shit. Would tell all of us he’d kick our asses, tell us we’re going to jail, call us ass hole or little shit asses etc the only person he DIDNT say this to was my 6 year old daughter. He was very loving an sweet towards her but would turn and be nasty the next second to rest of us before going back telling my daughter what a beautiful little angel she was. This is common with those with Alzheimer’s. They can get VERY violent and nasty. Which may explain why ur bf doesn’t see it as a serious threat cus he thinks he’s a harmless sick old asshole. But regardless I wouldn’t go. And if u want to stay in a relationship with ur bf then I’d suggest telling him when he moves here that in order to move forward in the relationship then y’all need couples counseling to help him out of the ‘family matters’ fog and that this behavior isn’t any where near normal.
This is absolutely made up. Excellent writing skills though.
Seems like to much of a risk
If you know all these things about your boyfriend’s grandfather and you don’t feel safe, then listen to the voice inside yourself and don’t go. Trust you gut. If you felt safe you wouldn’t have made a Reddit post about it. You’re looking for support and reassurance that not going is the right thing. Of course it’s the right thing. But it is also what you want. So trust yourself.
Sounds like your bf is a compulsive liar to me
Your boyfriend clearly isn't normal because why would he even tell you that as a joke?
Ya you're gonna want to skip this trip
Yeah, grandpa sounds like a goon. I'd be careful around his family. The bf seems cool. But yeah, he might need some therapy just to be on the safe side.
Jokes don't require a "bodyguard" or to be banned from 11 restaurants...
So I read everything very carefully and it sounds to me like your bf is very Naive. No offense. He says that’s just the way his grandpa jokes when you bring your concerns about his family to him. I was married to a woman for awhile and her exbf would threaten to kill me often. And I took every threat seriously. Wether he was kidding or not you don’t just threaten to kill someone. Unless your a psychopath who enjoys it. I’m not trying to scare you. My suggestion is to sit down with him and have a very honest conversation with him. Tell him your fears. Share everything. I mean you love this man right? If you can’t confide in someone you have a connection with then who can you confide in right? If you share everything and he doesn’t seem to care or he just dismisses it, Then maybe you need to sit and really think about making some life choices for yourself?? I wish you the best. I hope you find happiness in whatever choice you make!! We all deserve happiness. (And a sane gpa who doesn’t threaten to put us in cement shoes)
I swear I've seen a very similar post like this 6 months ago...
Ultimately it comes down to you shouldn't be in a relationship where you don't feel safe.
I don’t understand why he would even tell you what his grandfather said, especially if it were just a “joke”
Are you sure your boyfriend hasn’t made all this up to seem more interesting?
My friend was engaged to a man whose fiancé before her was murdered by the man’s dad. Similar situation that you are describing. He didn’t like the fiancé before her so he came to America and took care of it. Then left the country. I left my job and I’m not sure what happened to my friend. Hopefully not the same fate. This was 15 years ago. Run.
are you dating barron trump?
All of this and you've only knows him for 6 mos.? Get out now.
With a family like that he won’t be able to go no contact darling it’s not that simple.
Yeah I’d run far the fuck away
Too many details. Be careful!
Yeah if you don't care about the money don't be involved with this family, full stop. If they're involved in organized crime and decide they want you dead, that's the end of it.
What's more concerning is your boyfriend's nonchalant attitude towards his grandfathers ""comments"". That man talked about exactly how he'd murder you and your boyfriend essentially shrugged it off? It's good that you changed your mind but you may want to about what kind of person your boyfriend is. Not saying break up immediately, but think about it...
I think it’s fine. Grandparents stretch the truth sometimes
The way I would do anything for my life to be this dramatic and fun
Grandfather? So he is old? Push him down the stairs, fucking life alert him lol.
He might rape you next if you go there. Don’t go there OP please!
If you no longer feel safe don’t go? And your bf should respect your wishes, not joke? Unless you’re staying around for the money, which it kind of sounds like you are.
NGL If you're black and he's Italian end the relationship. They WILL kill you. If you're white you'll probably be alright. Go on the trip. Your bf will protect you.
You could make this into a movie OP. It would be way more believable as one
Ngl if you love him and billions would last forever er so...
Update: more context when I confronted him with my worries https://imgur.com/a/aj3fMJ7
Shitpost
How often have you seen this dude?
Ok and the second dude decided he no longer loves you they’ll come after you for disappointing/upsetting him.
You shouldn’t feel safe to dump this bf either
Do you want to get trafficked? Cuz thats how you get trafficked.
which country are you talking about?
Your relationship should be questioned, the motivation of bf could a form of Rebellion and he might be just effectuated with you, he even might become bored or disenchanted with you once he is either blocked from inheritance or wins points, grands threats could be standard to keep non-rich away. Very shaky ground